₦airaland Forum

ozoigbondu:
l knew he would deny it.They always deny it.Anyways time to modify some unsavoury comments l made in the other thread thanks to that ngeneukwuenu

He said it was recorded. Anyone who wishes to verify what he is reported to have by watching the video.

Why would he make comments about Ndigbo to a mixed crowd? Why would an American audience care?

She has to look good for TV and it's beneficial for her health.

Other ladies should take note.

Lordave:
I just wanna believe he didn't make the previous statement as purported by Nairaland.


It's a thing of great shame when Nairaland looses it's credibility on an issue as fragile and inciting as this.

I won't believe revered professor Soyinka granted the previous interview, but I believe there's a propaganda going on on Nairaland.
It's no more news that tribal threads generate traffic for Seun, hence he and his dog-mods must do everything even beyond their might to always fit Igbos in the bad news, raise our hackles and invite his paid tribal warlords to keep Igbos and Yorubas at loggerheads.

We should be very careful, Nairaland isn't just Nairaland .

I don't mean to be funny but what 'credibility' does this place have?

Everyday it's 'graphic pictures' of some horrendous accident on the front page or someone trying to pit the rest of the world against Igbos. As if Igbos are the ones killing other Nigerians, kidnapping girls and using them as sexual slaves.

Igbos are not the enemies of Nigeria, learn to see what is right in front of you.

The transcript 'quoted' in the blogs did not even sound like Soyinka.

He was talking to a mixed audience in America, many of whom would be more interested in asking about Nigerian affairs that make global news - such as the elections, Boko Haram and the GDP growth.

For all the talk on nairaland about Igbos, they are not Nigeria's problem. Everyday we've been hearing about Boko Haram attacks in northern Nigeria. If it's not that then it's Fulani cattle herders in the middle belt slaughtering farmers. Those are far more pressing concerns than the Igbophobia that some Nigerians appear to labor under.

Very few people outside of Nigeria care about how Igbos are viewed by other linguistic groups - why would they? They cannot tell any of you apart. Many of you act much the same, especially the habit of invoking 'god' at every opportunity and lusting after money.

laredopapa:
Nothing can be worse than the nigerians' last 16 years of pdp ruling. Even if GMB does not fulfil his promises, we at least witness CHANGE of power. Me I am praying for a better Nigeria. Either pdp, apc or whatever party, all I want is a better Nigeria.

Nothing can be worse?

You have a very short memory.

The 1980s and 1990s were much worse for Nigeria than the past 16 years.

Most places in Nigeria are much improved from what they were in 1999, the exception might be Jos which has been turned into a war zone by the ethno-religious bigots.

LordCenturion:
Stewpid man, are we not regretting GEJ administration?, u will witness this change
... Eeeediot, u will only see this kind of ewure foolish people among igbo,they will keep hating,

Give igbo men €100,they will all dance for u till jesus christ come back

PROUDLY YORUBA




GMB my HERO, FASHOLA MY ROLE MODEL

He's not an Igbo speaking person.

Are all those Lagos touts not people who will do whatever it takes for money?

vedaxcool:
It seems you have not heard of the term translated Qurán

They don't read that either.

mustymatic:
She doesn't read d quran, doesn't kno who Muhammad is, Allah is, how was she a Muslim? I smells propaganda in here.

That is what most religious people do - they go along with whatever is around them.

Most muslims have never read the Qur'an because they do not speak Arabic.

Most Christians have not the Bible all the way through because English is not their first language and they would probably rather be out in the world fornicating.

Few religious people are religious, they're just sheep.

Julius Berger died in 1942.

Julius Berger Nigeria built it's first bridge in 1962.

This is not the man that built Nigeria's bridges.

It's just a myth.

pak:
There's an iota of truth in most of what he said though not always absolutely correct.
In this case, the kind of lady that you as an educated non-northerner would like consider approaching is likely to be from a relatively rich family.

I bet you won't find an 18 yr old whose body is prolapsing like a 50yr old attractive ?

To all girls from one part of the country or even most girls from a particular region are similar is stupid.

There is always going to be diversity within a region or a linguistic group, which is all your so called 'tribes' are.

There aren't many girls out there, globally, who do not lust after money - men are just a means to get to it for some.

Most women like attention - globally.

The OP's write up was an embarrassment to his own intellect and those that believe he said anything of value. It wasn't even amusing to read.

Why has this post been pushed to the frontpage?

Do you people enjoy inducing depression? Is this why you spend so much time in church and the mosque?

charleff512:
i think the problem is doctrinal affiliations
the Bible is one!

The Bible is pretty inconsistent too, which is part of the problem.

They're not facts.

These are silly opinions.

How does the OP reason that the Kanuri/Fulani/Hausa girls will have money when the absolute poverty rate in that part of the world is over 80%?

Virtual visa cards are easy to get, for a price.

Anyone interested, just ask.

It isn't possible amongst Christians anywhere.

They have different doctrines and different spheres of power - people do not enjoy having to give up their influence.

Americans are leaving their religions at a faster rate than ever before, and that means more are looking for help with the transition. People who are casually religious may walk away and not look back. But for others religion is at the very heart of their identity, worldview and community, and having a safe place to process doubts can be a metaphorical godsend.

“Reclaimers,” people who are actively working to rebuild their lives after a period of religious immersion, may struggle with harmful ideas and emotions from the beliefs they once held or the behavior of fellow believers. Alternately, they may find that leaving is lonely and disorienting. Marlene Winell, a human development consultant who assists people leaving their religion, coined the term Religious Trauma Syndrome to describe a pattern she saw in some clients, in particular those leaving closed, authoritarian, fear-based communities. But even doubters who don’t experience this level of distress may find themselves feeling confused, afraid, self-doubting or overwhelmed.

Since 2009, a small nonprofit called Recovering From Religion, has worked to serve this population by establishing peer support groups, organizing “Recovering Your Sexuality” classes, and providing a matchmaking service for clients seeking therapists who are committed to a secular approach. In March, Recovering From Religion launched a hotline, 1-84-I-DoubtIt, staffed by a cadre of volunteers trained in listening and crisis triage techniques. From years of daily emails and calls to their office, the staff knew there was an unmet need. Even so, they were caught off guard by the response—over 1,000 calls in the first six weeks.

In this interview, Sarah Morehead, executive director of Recovering From Religion, talks about why her work is a personal passion and about the recovery hotline itself.

Valerie Tarico: Your commitment to supporting people in religious transitions comes from your own transition, which started with you as a life-long member of the Southern Baptist Convention and ended with you as an atheist.

Sarah Morehead: Yes. It was a long journey. Twelve years ago, I separated from my Promise Keeper husband. He had been violent toward me, but when he turned that on our kids, it was over for me. I found myself strapped financially, and in desperation I went to the benevolence committee at my church and asked for $600 to help pay the bills. This was a huge, successful mega-church, and the benevolence committee was their mechanism for helping members in need. The committee—all men—said they needed to pray about my request, and that regardless I needed to go to counseling about how to be a more godly wife so that I could lead my husband back to Christ through my submissiveness. They said this even though they knew he was physically abusive. Then, after praying, they let me know that Jesus wasn’t keen on them giving me the money.

As I was leaving I pushed open the church door and bumped into someone etching decorations on the outside, and I had an odd thought. I had just heard that God didn’t want me to have the $600 but this etching on the doors was totally cool with him. I couldn’t put my finger on it at the time, but that was the point that it stopped adding up. You question one piece and then another and then another. Eventually my conscience outweighed my creedal viewpoint.

VT: The heart of your Christianity was belief in God and his word and your relationship to Jesus. But this question of compassion and support is what rattled you and created that first crack.

SM: It was a combination—the disorienting lack of support on the inside and then equally disorienting support from an outsider. We had neighbors, two men who lived caddy-corner across the alley. We kept our children away from their children because they had a flag that I thought was satanic. Now I know it was just pagan. They would have bonfires in their back yard, and it was terrifying to me.

After I got home from the church, there was a knock at the door and it was one of the guys from across the alley way. He said, “We don’t talk much but I know there’s a lot going on for you guys and here is a casserole.” It was one of the more surreal moments in my life. I remember standing there and in my mind asking God what he was trying to tell me. Would Satan tempt me through the kindness of macaroni and cheese?

Our homeschool support groups pulled away when they heard of the divorce, and then when they learned I wasn’t going to that church anymore they stopped letting their kids hang out with my kids. It was very isolating and scary because I didn’t know anyone, other than the neighbor I had met, who had really survived this idea of reconsidering religion.

VT: You were really on your own.

SM: The only people who had the courage to say that they didn’t have all of the answers were this couple, who as it turned out were gay—of course they were, but it took me a while to figure that out because they couldn’t be gay because they were nice and gay people were pedophiles.

VT: So there you were, trying to juggle the loss of your faith and your entire community, while taking care of your children, who were also dealing with abandonment.

SM: The loss of my faith wasn’t all at once, as it isn’t for many people. At first the changes were tiny. I remember the moment when I had the epiphany that American Baptists might not burn in hell. Later, Bible-believing Christianity stopped working for me, but for a long time I thought that was a problem with me, not with the religion. I was probably destined for hell, but I just couldn’t figure it out. Eventually I tried out more liberal religious viewpoints, like the Unitarian Church. When I finally realized I don’t believe this anymore, I didn’t know where I fit.

I had come on this huge, huge journey with no map, and I didn’t know where I was. But you go on the internet and connect with people who are struggling, people who are going through the same things. So, that’s my motivation. There are people who are scared and lonely and afraid and who think they are the only person on the planet who can’t figure it out. The relief some of these people experience when I talk to them—being able to offer them that bridge when there’s nowhere else to go—that is one of the most rewarding things imaginable.

VT: So tell me about Recovering From Religion—the organization.

SM: It was founded by Psychologist Darrel Ray in 2009, after he wrote The God Virus.The book kicked off conversations that made the need apparent, so he started the network of peer support groups. But his time was limited. I came on board in 2011 and started developing it into a cohesive program.

The hotline project came about because of the emails that we get daily. People need someone to talk to, and the groups themselves—we will never have enough locations that everyone has somewhere to go. So we thought, what if everyone could call and talk with one person, just someone respectful? There’s a lot out there that mocks religion and hates on religion. There’s a place for that, but for people who are gently feeling out where they are, they need a place that lets them have one foot in and out.

VT: You feel strongly about giving people space to be where they are at.

SM: We created a tool called the spectrum of belief and disbelief. It ranges from polytheism to atheism, so that people can consider where they want to be. Maybe a caller thinks, there’s something out there but it doesn’t tell me how to have sex and I don’t have to tithe. If that’s where people are at we respect that. The relationship and the person matter more than the religion.

I’m huge on boundaries. Religion takes away boundaries—you tell children from day one that there’s something out there that can see their thoughts—so people in recovery are just learning that they can have boundaries and ideas and limits and can say, no you don’t have access to that part of me. We want to give that back.

VT: So how do you train volunteers for the hotline?

SM: We have a training program vetted by two psychologists to make sure we stay within the bounds of peer support. It’s about 10 hours of training—software and process and simulated calls. Our volunteers don’t provide counseling; it’s really active listening. If the person has a belief in God we don’t question or challenge that. If they say they don’t believe but want somewhere to go, then we might help them create an action plan. When people have safe way to explore their doubts they often do start letting go and they feel good and empowered and that’s a really cool thing to have happen, but we are serious about simply providing respectful support, so we provide careful training and oversight.

We have sophisticated (and I might add, expensive!) call management technology. It’s the same system used by the Trevor Project which works to prevent suicide for gay youth. The system lets both callers and volunteers remain anonymous, and a supervisor can move between calls without being intrusive. All calls are monitored to some extent. We can flag calls if there are any concerns and review them and then provide feedback. There are a lot of pieces to this, which is why it took us two years to get this up and running.

VT: So tell me about that unexpected grand slam opening.

SM: We opened March 1 from 6pm-midnight during the week and 24 hours on the weekend. Within six weeks we had 1,000 calls come in! A thousand calls was a big surprise. Imagine trying to figure out how to staff for call volume when you have no idea what to expect. We estimated based on contacts to the office line. But it’s different when people actually see a banner that says 1-84-I-DoubtIt.

We are getting calls from all demographics, all ages. Some of the calls leave you in tears. People feel so isolated and alone because religion has permeated every aspect of their community. We get calls from people who are being threatened that their kids will be taken away because of their nonbelief. We get calls from teens who are being kicked out because they’ve decided they’re not the same religion as their parents.

We had one lady who called and said that she saw the hotline article on CNN, and she held onto the number for three weeks. She said that it was the first time in her life that she said the word atheist even though she had been for years. Isolation, desperation—people get trapped in their circumstances and for a whole lot of reasons many can’t just pick up and move. Most people don’t want to be famous or activists. They just want to be able to not go to church and have it be ok.

VT: Sometimes you try to hook callers up with other resources, especially resources in their own communities. What are the biggest service gaps? What do you wish existed?

SM: We’ve been out for two months, and we’ll have a better assessment after a year. Right now we’re still in the discovery process. For example, we just got introduced to Footsteps, which supports people leaving Orthodox Judaism. So, we’re not at the point of saying this doesn’t exist, we need it; we’re saying this is probably out there, let’s find it.

When people call in crisis or with urgent needs that are beyond our scope, then processing questions about religion takes back burner to managing that need. If they are in active crisis when they call, like active domestic violence, or suicidal, there are fantastic crisis-trained hotlines out there. We try to keep them on the line and give them the number and make sure they are connected.

Alternately, they may be in urgent need of a place to stay. We refer to social service networks in their area if they are comfortable sharing their location or to general crisis services, if they are not.

VT: What’s your next big challenge?

SM: The challenge is maintaining the staff at a rate that can take all the calls. We have about 40 volunteers in training. We will be expanding to 24/7 and then will integrate an online system that lets us take calls from around the world. Right now our volunteers are everywhere, but we only serve Canada and the U.S. We want to be a resource to people who aren’t local to North America.

Funding is also a huge challenge. None of the staffing or supervision is paid, including my position, which isn’t sustainable indefinitely. Here is the really hard part about funding: The people we are helping are unable to fund the service. We can’t ask for money when, for example, a caller is struggling to keep their business and all of their clients are at their church. So we are going to need support from the secular community as a whole and people who see the value in what we do.

Also, donor development is really tough for many former fundies. We’ve been drilled from day one that you don’t ask for money. Yes, there’s the hypocrisy that you give all of your money to the church, but you don’t ask for things for yourself. Former minister Teresa McBain and much loved atheist blogger Neil Carter have joined the team. But we’re very wary of the flashy, believe-in-us mentality, so we’re trying to find the right balance. We’re working with people who have more skill in that regard than we do.

VT: Any final thought that you’d like to leave with readers?

SM: Openly Secular Day was April 23, so it just passed, but I think the idea behind the Openly Secular Campaign is key, and something we can work on all year. The Religious Right works really hard to load language so that people may not even know what a term like atheist means, exactly, but they know it’s bad. Conservative belief creates a bubble, and everything and everyone outside that bubble is scary—whether it’s baby killers or literal demons.

Things will really change when people who safely can say I don’t believe in this anymore do so. Those of us who can come out need to be that face—the friend, family member, neighbor—for the religious people in your life and for those who don’t believe but dare not say so and feel alone. Think of how transformative it has been to go from there are gay people to I know gay people, I love gay people. There is similar power in being able to say, I know someone who is nonreligious, I love someone who is an atheist.

lexy2014:
so u haven't yet found out d root causes of d problems in d north? What of all d grammar u have been speaking since about d north?

You can't read.

I'm lost as to how anyone thought Floyd would lose - he's unbeaten.

Pacquiao has been beaten several times.

The result was never in doubt.

lexy2014:
in your own words " Bill Gates has a foundation that is fixated upon solving the problems of those who cannot/will not assist themselves. Warren Buffett has pledged to give away the bulk of his fortune to worthy causes, it's called philanthropy". D question is are u interested in solving d problems of those who cannot help themselves or u are just interested in drooling? What actions have u taken in your own little way †☺ help these people (cos u seem 2no a lot about their problems) since dangote didn't help? What if bill gates and warren buffet adopted your blame game strategy, would u b mentioning their names right now?

Before a problem can be fixed the root causes need to be found and put aside - it's apparent to most people what has hampered northern development and by virtue slowed down Nigerian political, social and economic evolution. People have identified the Fulani aristocracy as a problem for a long time in Nigeria, sadly the structure of the various political agreements and constitutions have enabled them to stay in power, to the benefit of nobody. If their people were as violent towards them as they are towards innocent, hard working 'infidels' the problem would have resolved itself by now.

P.S.
What happened to NEPU?

lexy2014:
if u feel they are so backward, then y are u so fixated on them? How many professors have u seen getting fixated on d lives of illiterates? Which millionaire have u seen get engrossed with how d poor live their lives? Instead they are fixated on those like them or better than them. How could u b so interested in people u call "stagnant" yet u claim 2b better than them? If u aren't thinking of how †☺ help then y do u judge? U don't drool over peoples misfortune. I don't no were u got your information about ahmadu bello from, but its good †☺ make a distinction between facts and hearsay. I seriously don't no what " ibo ambition" u are talking about when it was his party NPC and Ziks party that formed d coalition govt in d first republic. So if he was against "Igbo ambition", what was he doing with Zik? Then if we agree that there are signs of progress everywhere in d south then we certainly don't need people blowing up any more pipelines

Bill Gates has a foundation that is fixated upon solving the problems of those who cannot/will not assist themselves. Warren Buffett has pledged to give away the bulk of his fortune to worthy causes, it's called philanthropy - an idea lost on the likes of Dangote who had to wait until Bill Gates got involved before he decided to use any of his money to assist with the Ebola crisis.

You fail to understand the socio-economic impact of illiteracy and destructive backwards practices which is why you would ask why anyone else should be concerned - Boko Haram have come about as a direct result of the inaction of northern governors. The riots and killing that take place in the north every so often have similar roots.

Here is your Ahmadu Bello, in his own words.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8y1Zpk4DrlA

One of the biggest mistakes that Zik and Awo made was their inability to put their personal ambitions aside and do what was best for the progressive peoples of Nigeria.

lexy2014:
u seem 2 envy d traditional political structures of d north hence your unexplained fixation on d north. No matter how undemocratic u call their system, I haven't heard them complain that's y I said don't judge them except u feel u have a divine mission †☺ "liberate" them. If not focus on d home grown and cultural factors that have caused stagnation in your region not d north. If u feel your system has produced a. GEJ, that's gr8. I think they too can also point †☺ several people that their region has produced in all areas of human endeavour irrespective of your reservations. When I mentioned jesus I didn't tell u 2 give your life †☺ him neither did I promise u wealth riches and success through jesus. I only borrowed one of his wise saying just d way I can borrow from d words of awo, wole soyinka, ahmadu bello, ganhdi, mao tse zung and d likes. So pls understand context. Am sure u aware that d reason south africans are into xenophobia is that they feel migrants are responsible 4 their unemployment. They even accuse foreigners of taking their girls hence they can't get married. That's d blame game. If u engage in d blame game then that's similar. Don't compare your region with d north. There's no basis 4 comparison

What is to envy about the north it has consistently been one of the most backwards places on earth. Illiteracy rates of 50%+; polio, fistula, malnutrition, child brides - who would envy that? Have you seen the WAEC and NECO results of the northerners?

Who are these good leaders from the north? Why did you list Ahmadu Bello? Was he not the same bigot who was so angered by Igbo ambition that he said he would prefer to import labor from abroad than hire a Nigerian from the south?

The 'stagnation' that you mentioned is not there in the south - there are signs of progress everywhere.

ozoigbondu:
Since the progressives are now in majority i don't expect any resistance to making their pay public and cutting i down.

Who are the 'progressives'?

dokyOloye:
I pity an southerner who thinks he has anything in common wt d north.
When they start their madness,even d muslims from d south west are also termed infidel.
I have lived in d North and I know that d hausa/Fulani muslim accepts and will help a muslim from Chad,Niger,Cameroun more than a christian from d same state wt him.
One Nigeria my foot.

What I do not understand is why they are not agitating for union with their ever so prosperous kin in Niger and leave their union with the southern Nigerians.

They need to suspend service for consistently poor timekeeping.

Kentrasso:
Do they think of the serious health issues that come with being obese?

Sadly at the time that these practices became the fashion they were more worried about ensuring that the woman could withstand the rigours of childbirth.

48? He looks closer to 70.

lexy2014:
alright u didn't add yorubas but just like south africans, u engage in d blame game which is d motivation 4 their xenophobia. If d poor northernerns are 2 blind 2c d chains around their wrists and their feet, that's not 4u 2 judge. Yours is †☺ c how d equivalent of emirs, sultans and politicians in your region have continuously impoverished their people. until u do that u are in no position †☺ judge d north. That's y Jesus said we should remove d logs in our eyes b4 we will b able †☺ c clearly d speck of dust in d other persons eyes

The system under which the Emirs and Sultans rule is incompatible with democracy - the closest equivalent in the south would be the Obas but even they do not wield any real power or influence. Even the traditional titles that the southerners pay lip service to are earned titles and not inherited. Because the southern states are more egalitarian with greater social mobility there is opportunity for someone like Goodluck Jonathan become an important statesman and for others to succeed in business and thus supersede those who hold traditional office - this is not so in the north and is the cause of the stagnation there.

I find it amusing that you should mention Jesus because the most common protagonists in the game of corruption and misinformation in the south have always been the religious bodies. No one in the south is calling for violence against northerners, only that there should be greater Federalism which would entail greater resource control.

Fact remains, there is no comparison between what happens in the south of Nigeria and what is happening in South Africa and what has so often happened in northern Nigeria.

lexy2014:
hahahaha...u are really getting emotional about this hence u are resorting †☺ insults. Anyway I will take it as a complement. Am not arguing with u about whether d constitution has been skewed †☺ favour some people and left others out. My argument is this with d little that has been given what can b shown 4 it? If u feel hausas or yorubas are retrogressive that's your opinion. But if u say u aren't retrogressvie then u should b able †☺ account 4 whatever resources are in your custody no matter how little. Its similar †☺ what d south africans are doing right now blaming d migrants in their country 4 their problems. D blame game. They don't want †☺ look inwards and take responsibility. That's were it starts bros

I did not mention Yorubas at all, please do not add words.

It is very different from what is happening in South Africa. You fail to understand history if you think the two are similar.

If you wish to compare anyone to South Africans it should be the poor northerners who still fail to see that it is their emirs, their sultans and their politicians that keep them in bondage. They are the ones killing their fellow Africans, not the ND people or Yorubas.

lexy2014:
its now u no that AKS and CRS are moving forward? WЂε̲̣̣̣̥я̅ε̲̣̣̣̥ did d govs of CRS and AKS get money †☺ make their capitals d "most habitable cities in nigeria?" Resource control ba? Y haven't d other govs done d same? Ok...maybe its d north that is stiffling them. No region is holding anyone back. Its our mentality that is holding us back. D mentality that they don't like us, they don't want us †☺ have resource control yet we can't account 4 what is in our possession. Every niger delta state has a commisioner nominated by d gov representing it at NDDC. If d work they did in your state is shoddy, then hold your gov and d NDDC commissioner(your indigenes) from your state responsible not d north. Niger deltans weren't taxed 87percent. D 13percent is from d taxes and royalties FG gets from oil companies. Stop this blame game.

You cannot reason clearly if you fail to see that being allowed to keep 13% of the oil revenue amounts to a tax by the Federal government of 87%.

The constitution has been skewed to give the largest voice to the most retrogressive people - that is a fact. The entity that is and has always been the least productive has pushed for unitary measures where there has been no accountability.

Chasing someone because they want to change religion is insane.

I saw this woman speak at the national confab.

She speaks well, not sure of her policies.

Be interesting to see her voting record.