₦airaland Forum

People, we really must let Mpele have his say, as Vile as it may sound. Dont forget we are practicing freedom.

However Mpele I fail to see the benefit of your criticism. In most cases it is not constructive, but rather personal. You talk so much about the bad things that happen in Nigeria yet these same things happen in your country and even @ a greater magnitude.

Corruption, sickness, crime, Under-development are rife in your society, so why pick these failings in my country when they exist in yours. You may not like the boldness of Nigerians, but that is no reason to hate. Just like you said the Americans can be in your face, boastful and all that, but that is no reason for me to hate them.

I am glad you have pointed out the personal achievement of Nigerians, because boy we do excel in what we do. True we have not been able to achieve collective excellence, but boy it is only a matter of time. I personally do not hope for a SA that fails under black rule, but I will really like to see how you guys get on. Is it not a case that you are very much challeneged by the success of Nigerians, and the excellence they attain that you feel threatened? I can understand that if that is the case, and I suspect it is.

By the way the Ghanaians are great people and they see us as competitive brothers. No hate involved and both countries inspire one another.

Go back and re-evaluate your position, it really saddens me to see this Black - on Black hate IT IS NOT NECESSARY

Wait. lets get this right, so the guy you were or still involved with is married? OK, I dont think anybody on here as suggested that you do not deserve the right to a happy life, all we say is be honest with yourself and tell the guy you are hoping to marry the truth, at that point let him decide, but deciding for both of you, that what you conceal is not important is deceit in my books.

Tell him that the guy you have been involved with is a married man with 2 kids, and that while you accepted his proposition of marriage, you were still actively sleeping with him. You never know what will happen. And by the way the truth is never easy to swallow that is why we all have to F ourselves as you suggested.

Good luck

I beg people make una leave am. She is only here to seek sympathy and probably find those who would validate her actions. She wants us to understand how she can be marry someone, but still sleeping wiht her ex, but just not to rock the boat, which in my opinion will be rocked sometime in future, she chooses not to tell him, amd you know what, none of us has gone through love, so we dont understand why we need to lie sometimes to keep love going.

Tranquil,

I think you are the one not facing up to reality, or should I say not willing to hear things your itching ears were hoping not to hear. Most people have told you the truth, and we all know for most people that can be hard sometimes. I dont understand what you want us to do, probably validate your actions, well I doubt if you want an honest opinion you would get it here. Anyone who says what you are doing is right is playing you.

My question is what did you hope to archieve by telling us in the first place? were you hoping for a pat on the back or just the plain truth? if the latter is what you seek, then, the plain and simple truth is that you must tell him. There is no melodrama in this. You must stop decieving yourself, how can you be planning on marrying someone, but up to recently still be having sex with another, and then think that is right and we must all see with you. Maybe others on here might but I can not see how that can ever be right. If you think we are making too much of it, why dont you just tell him?

Well, well, if your ex was so good to you and brought out the best in you, then I think you are making thr wrong choice and marrying thr wrong guy. Just as DavidDan said you are acting very very selfish and are only considering where it best benefits you rather than is it fair to all concerned. If you go and marry this guy without telling himthe truth, in my opinion you will be doing a very wicked thing. I believe that you will be conducting a religious ceremory (probably getting married in Church), if that is the case, you must remember what the bible says, about the truth, and also about some of the very serious vows you are going to be making, including "if there is any reason why this couple should not marry".

Let me help you by reminding you what telling the truth does, IT SETS YOU FREE. I doubt you will be going into this marriage a free woman. Most people will respect someone who has come clean than someone who hides and deceives, which is what you are doing. TELL THE TRUTH

I dont understand people. Ok so you have finally found the person you want to marry, and the best way to go about a relationship that should last forever is to start off lying.

Let me ask, what are you scared off? telling the truth?, what else are you going to hide from him?. You sort of missed the big chance to tell him all when he proposed to you, but it is not too late. You must tell him, if you stand a chance of having a successful marriage, because he will, and I state it, He will find out and I can assure you that would probably be the end of the marriage or whatever you call it.

When 2 people decide they are going to get married, most times things would have happened in the past, and most times,as long as you are honest from the start, there is always a good chance that forgiveness will be had, cos in most cases the other party might not be clean either. It is the honesty at the start that sets the tone for a sound start. At that point of honesty you are both staring anew, everything is out in the open, and you will never need to hide (ever), but if you miss that chance, please pray that you get another (Probably now), and speak up. He will respect you more for telling him truth than lying and going into the marriage.

I sense desparation in your response and that is not good, just as other well meaning people have said, you must tell the truth and set yourself free, if not it always comes back to hunt you, and it might be too late then.

A marriage built on lies is a Worthless marriage

BlackSpade,

I think we should let Mpele speak. Like others has suggested, we might not like what he says, but we are in a free world. However, if it starts to bother on Racism and unacceptable content, then the rules of the forum must apply, Thats is assuming there is one that guides against discrimination.

Contrary to Mpele's views I have met a lot of great Black South African's and they are wonderful people, and see us Nigerians as good people too, that does not suggest that there might not be people out there with less favourable views.
Lets all take it easy

If it is bad come home. This is not a do or die affair

The Nigerian Police force as it is, is untrainable. We need the scrap the current lot of uniformed thieves and setup a new force from scrath.

The comments are extremely fair, and in most cases well deserved by us. We still do not get it in our country. What is the point og Nigeria hosting such games @ this time in her history. I personally see this as an Insult to Nigerians, again another attempt and ploy to create avenue to chop the peoples money.

Goodluck should shut his face and go and concentrate on fixing the country. I really do not understand the kind of idiots that rule us.

FSU,

Well said. We do not qualify in any way to host any international tornament. Gruesome pictures tho.

Well, I dont see it as being unfortunate. the truth is that we do not merit it. Not with our shambolic record and awful global reputation. Maybe we can start taking cleaning up our image seriously.

Well done Scotland

Well to be honest, I never thought we stood a chance. Not with the sort of reputation we have.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7085422.stm

I bet you Ibori's broda is sweating his ugly balls off. It is about time Nigerian's get the good leaders they deserve. I must also point out that tho Ameachi has made it, he should not see this as a license to mess up. People will be watching him closely.

And 2 those ousted, I think a naked dance through the market square would be in order. Let their shame, be real humilation

angel, I will fight you on this one. Delta state has to be next. there was no semblance of election there, that is after they had disqualified all the other candidates

She is a shabby wicked old thief, and if she does not leave on her own accord, then she must be pushed. No place for People like that in Nigeria anymore. When we finish with her, she would be lucky to find 2kobo to buy tiger razor to shave her beer-beer.

Useless thing

Well it is time they Grab Ibori's broda, and master thief Ibori himself. Elections were never held in Delta state, that devil just put his junior devil bro there. Get rid of the 2 of them

This is a sick joke. 2yrs for all the evil he commited. We are still not serious in this our country. Do you actually think that 2 yrs serves as any deterent? I have often said it that Nigerian's are too easyly please. Here is another proof of premature hard-on, when there is no action in sight.

Anyone caught with state funds must be made to apy a heavy price. This I think is a blatant slap on the face off every well meaning Nigerian

If this is true, as it may well be. Then just as usual we have got the whole thing wrong again.

Nigeria, is very very good at chasing the wrong goals. It the bigger context, how deos this help the country? It smacks from left to right of downright discrimination, and the president should do himslef the honourable thing and shut the stupid school down.

We might be in a free society, but you do not discriminate on people based on Age, sex, Sexual preference, illness or anything else.

Sick society we live in

Dinachi, Thank you very much my broda. You said it all, and very well indeed. Kalu should be left alone.

There are other bigger thieves out there , including the farmer,his houseboy, and his 3 area-boys.

I beg leave the man alone

Soemtimes I do not understand you people on here.

Mamajama, what is it? That Lucky should be given what benefit of doubt? That his father owned Okada that stopped flying years ago, and was hardly profitable. That he schooled in the UK? now tell me how this proves that he is not a BIG Thief?


I am slightly dissappointed, but some of the response here. I am not totally pleased that Orji Kalu refused to attned the Efcc invitation, but I am even more peeved that as usual the damn organisation is being very selective. If any of you really understand that depth of Thievery carried our by the Big 3 (IBORI, ODILI, and Lucky), maybe then we will re-assess wether the fight against corruption is really transparent. Nigerians as I have always said, are easily please. We thrive or share mediocricy.

Mamajama, I bought that stove legitimately @ Palms shopping complex in VI. I had the receipt somewhere, but could not find it at the time. I offered to call the people are home to look for it for me, and I was warned that if I did they would deal with me. we all know what that means. This stupid notorious stop and search order they have in certain parts of Lagos, is just license for those idiots to carry out daylight robbery.


The police are wicked, and there is nothing you are going to tell me about them that will change my mind. It has very little to do with the salary they pay them. While this was happening to me they were busy beating someone else, cos he refused to follow them to the station, FOR WHAT? He knew it would be a case of suspectyed armed robber if he got there. They beat him and threatened to shoot him in the presence of the public. In my opinion they should scrap the stupid police force, cos I do not know what they are doing

Mamajama,

Sorry, there is nothing good about the police in Naija. Police is your friend, Police is your friend, they keep saying. Is it not these same policemen that took #11,000.00 from me, cos I couldnt find my #2,300 electric stove reciept. They took me to that smelling Surulere police station, and if I was not careful they would have easyly harmed me.

No good comes from them lot

This seems to be the trend. Let me just declare my assets no matter what, foolish Nigerians will see that as being honest. That way I am free to steal again. The question everyone should be asking is were did the Guv get the money from ? How ? a proper audit should be done. He said he had +5.bn be/4 he came into power and now has +4bn, Well did he declare his assests the first time round.


I think this whole thing is a stupid joke, and Nigerian's should not take them serious

If true, this whole thing is a joke. Are these the real crooks we have in Nigeria, or are they being selective again. Targeting those of least resistance. I smell a farmers hand in this.

Obirin0521,

I hear what you are saying, and I kinda agree with Spolit up to a point. Spoilt I like the way you ended your last reply, cos I can surely verify that is indid the case.

Obirin0521, I do not think there is anything wrong in exclusively seeking someone of your race, but if the truth be said you might have to do far more that sitting in the US, and looking. that is why I keep hampering on casting your net far.

I keep mentioning the UK, cos there is a greater concentration of our people within London, and I mean good people. Just like you I kept complaining about not meeting the right people, but believe me I was commiting the same classical error everyone seems to do. That is, looking at the wrong places, looking for the wrong qualities, and basically looking for the wrong people.

You know I had this same discussion with a young lady yesterday. She says broda, I would like to meet someone nice hopefully to settle down. so I asked a few questions including where she hung out and what sort of people she would normally mix with. My advice to her is change, do the unconventional.

If you ask married couples how it happened, there is always an unlikely story, something different, and by the way if is far more difficult in the US than it is here in the UK.

If you really want to talk this out you can mail me ok. London31uk@yahoo.com

Obirin0521,

I am glad some of the stuff I said made good sense. And just reading thru your old posts your request is not unreasonable, but it may not always be the way we want it to be.

I do ack Siena's comments, and I applaud your achievements as well, but we must be careful not to loose sight of other aspects of our lives. Just like you I was a high achiever, and somehow had it in my mind that my spouse would aslo have to be a high achiever. If I remember well, I had this picture that my spouse would be a Uni Prof. Anyway that was then, and believe me there is nothing wrong in having such dreams, but I soon found out that things do not always work the way we want, rather God makes things work the way that is best for us. Which might include a total revamp of our thot process.

I know people always suggest that you dont go actively looking, true!, but I would also suggest that you make yourself visible for people to find you. Get out, try something new ok.

I have a cousin who was in your same situation. He got married @39, but he had to go searchin and his search to him to the UK. They got married last Dec, and his wife has joined him. If you have got cousins in the UK? then visit, be open, you never know. The UK is much easier to meet people and the networking is great.

And by that phone call, I mean do something you would not normally do. I was introduced to my spouse over the phone, something I had vowed I would never do, but as the saying goes "Never say Never".

All this might sound good, but I will always point out that you have to rely on God, and leave that space for him to do wonderful things in your life.

God Bless

I would never support ethnic squabbles, but I mut agree with David. Until we agree to sort our country out ' that includes telling ourselves the truth', we will continue on the assured path of destruction.

We must learn to face up to the truth no matter how uncomfortable it might seem, that is how all the countrys we envy today did it. Let us stop all this pussyfooting and face the actual problems that faces us.


God bless Nigeria

Obirin0521

I really feel for you, cos I went thru the same process as you are right now, and just like you I thought I got everything figured out. I was as eligible as they come, had an excellent career, my own place, was basically a good guy, everything looked just right. Marriage was practically written on my forehead, but guess what, I had to wait 6yrs for it to come, and this was after I had been broken.

the key my dear is to re-assess your stragtegy and yourself. Think of the unconventional. I was the sort of person who believed in choosing my own bride, but guess what, that was why it took so so long. I really had to re-assess my approach, especially when I knew I was miles away from home, the options sometimes are not plenty, so I agreed to make that phone call, and I am glad I did.

one other thing is that you might be looking for the wrong qualities. What has been observed is that Wife or Husband Material is so different from BF / GF material, what you look out for in both situations are very different, and in most times it goes far beyond the physical, it might even be a case that this would not be someone you would consider as a boyfriend, but he might have all the qualities of a good husband.

Another thing, you say you are not willing to compromise, but you got to be careful with this. It depends on what you are not prepared to compromise on, you might find that we dont have all the qualities, and even if you found who you thought was the right person, he might have to compromise, so I would be very careful in the use of that term, it quickly smacks of pride.

Above all tho, you got to leave room for God to work his wonders, and that might mean stepping out of your comfort zone.


HTH

If that stupid man does not know who to keep his mouth shut, he should be recalled straigthaway.

I have not heard of any serving ambassador condeming the US invasion of Iraq. Thye know how to stick together, not go out and wash dirty linen.

By the way, if anyone does not think that tribe is an issue in Nigeria and must be address, that person is only kidding themselves. Until the Injustice of the North stealing from the south is address, I am afraid it will be very difficult for the north and south to get along.

It is really sad, but I doubt anything would be done. We have a history of not pursuing justice in Nigeria, and I doubt seriously that is going to chage anytime soon. The stakes are too high, and I dont think the present regime have the will power or legitimacy to follow through an honest cleanup.

I would really want to be proven wrong, for the vast majority of Nigerians, but I really do not see things changing. Change in Nigeria can only come when those trully seeking change out weight those who would rather have Nigeria the way it is.

Sorry, but that is the truth