₦airaland Forum

michelin89:
Ever heard of PUN? No you haven't. So let me lecture you.

Do you know the drama by Oscar Wilde: The importance of being Ernest? Well in this case Wilde plays with the words HONEST and ERNEST. The pun is so evident that in Italian Ernest becomes honest in the translation.

The same with my HORROR. I know the OP made an error. But it was so huge that besides using a hyperbole, I thought a pun was the best to highlight it! Now that you've learnt something new, send me my check!

You mean "The Importance of Being Earnest," don't you?

denniseky:
I will go for the Benz product. Specialy the Gl450 4matic or the Glk 4matic. Its a good product if u are going 4 them. Product with reputation Jor!

Thanks for the contribution. Are you recommending this based on the overall reputation of the MB brand or based on the superior performance of the GL-class line? The GL450 is massive and not really in consideration (I am looking for a smaller SUV). The GLK is much smaller but it's a fairly new model and I am not sure if its worth checking out.

Idowuogbo:
Okay let me talk my ten ten kobo b4 Inspired and his kingsmen bring dier logbook.

Tbh it I will pick BMW over Mercedes anyday,but as u b baba arugbo u might prefer mercedes cus dats wot most of u Owanbe aristo daddies drive.Bros u berra wait for Inspired I don't no jack about ejin yerinbeto kankan o

Thank you Aunty. But this isn't the kind of advice I was looking for! Wetin come concern me with aristo daddies?

It appears that the Auto section is just for advertising used cars. I'll just go with whatever Consumer Reports has to say.

I sometimes lie for convenience sake but I never lie about things that are truly important to me and my loved ones. e.g.

LIE: Sorry for coming late. I missed my way.
TRUTH: I woke up late or decided to finish watching my TV show before leaving the house

Why do Nigerians think the film business is about anything but making money? Why would any film that's going to be marketed in Europe and the US cast Igbo women in leading roles? HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's the funniest thing ever! Movies aren't charities oh! If you wanted Igbo girls in the movie, then you should have petitioned the governor of Enugu to sponsor the adaptation. No big deal!

macjive01:
when has it become a crime to be a fool?

Since I became Emperor of the World!

moremi2008:
This is for all the true car buffs on here. I am thinking about changing my car to a crossover SUV and I honestly don't know much about cars and hate reading about car engines and all the blah, blah, blah most Auto blogs/sites always seem to go on about. Which is the better option? I currently drive a 2007 BMW 5 series but I discovered too late that I am not really a big fan of sedans and all the supposed benefits of the "sportiness" of the engine was a complete waste for me. All I am looking for is a reliable luxury compact SUV. Thanks in advance.

Chei! Awon gbogbo aye have followed me here! You dis woman, what are you doing in the Auto section? Go back to the Family section where your fellow women hang-out, jor!

ps - or answer the question if you're a car buff like my ex-girlfriend.

I typically dismiss these rumors but the coincidence is rather uncanny, isn't it?  

Wait a minute, is Prof. Osundare writing all this from the comfort of the US or is he back in Nigeria? The answer to this question will seriously determine how credible his criticism is.

Which one is "Youth" section? I would assume that all of Nairaland is a "Youth" section. Very few old peeps on here (with the exception of lastpage and his gang of grandpas)

maclatunji:
^Check my signature, the first link leads to one of my blogs. I am finding you a little complex to understand: when you read someone's writing it gives you an idea of their persona/mindset.

Abdulkabir, look at you playing woman wrapper for hia again! Chei!!!!

This is for all the true car buffs on here. I am thinking about changing my car to a crossover SUV and I honestly don't know much about cars and hate reading about car engines and all the blah, blah, blah most Auto blogs/sites always seem to go on about. Which is the better option? I currently drive a 2007 BMW 5 series but I discovered too late that I am not really a big fan of sedans and all the supposed benefits of the "sportiness" of the engine was a complete waste for me. All I am looking for is a reliable luxury compact SUV. Thanks in advance.

Idowuogbo:
Mr bag of chips for d last time, ON D BIBLE I DO NOT KNOW IFY OFFLINE OR ONLINE.To say am backing her bcus we b paddies is an error,tbh it all seems like favoritism but its NOT.Everyone has dier own ways of analysing issues,at d start of dis thread Tpiah was thinking out aloud according to folks by calling the poster "cold blooded",I defended chioma by placing a yoruba proverb saying "Woni taba fowo gba omo leti,katu fi ikeji fa mora" yes chioma did d deed doesn't mean we should condemn her and call her names for starting a thread with a disturbing topic,but hey she was in a state so I don't blame her 4 it.I repeat d only reason I was sticking up 4 Ify was bcus d poster did her wrong in which she admitted to,like I said earlier everyone has ways of analysing issues.Freecocoa wasn't  high wen she asked you"do you think Ify doesn't have better tins to do",she was @ scene in less dan 24hrs while we were typing away here for Chioma to lie to her was BADDDDDDD!!!!.Anyways dats dat now unto charity talk I go vex for u oo haba see as u jus dey jabo shere,come we need ur dollars ogbeni ki lon worri yin gan sef hanhan .Haba bcus u think R2bees is ugly no concern me oo,are u not d same gbefila dat entered his anniversary thread to ask stupendous questions,now I no its beefing jare baba onijogbon.I don go find MR MOROOOON & MR CRETINNN he is coming to pick on you hehehehe,but unto real stuff pls let's have a positive outlook on things now,see as you just bisect charity wey never reach 3months its unfair oo.

P.S- who b ronke sef, Baba deres only 1 Badosky mama and yes na me na omo tan we lodo ti gbogbo okunrin yowo ose,kikidaope omo ketan u go take mr bag of chips.Omo as u talk d ogi and akara I wan go find recipe jare aunty Cc kan f me up mehnnn

Aunty Idowu, you are a mess and I love it! I haven't laughed so hard on here in a while

chaircover:
If you ask me, Life is way too short to be carrying around internet wahala baggage on top of real life wahala. . . . . . For example It now costs me £70 to fill my car tank and[b] my son fleeces me of £35 a week just on lunch and transportation alone[/b] . . .  . .That alone is enough wahala for me to deal with 

Wait a minute, 7GBP per day for lunch and transportation?!!! What are they feeding him? Caviar and Smoked Salmon Bruschetta? No be ordinary school bus? Aren't you paying UK taxes? What exactly is the charge for? Or are you sending your pikin to Eton? Hey! Mama Queen is using your hard earned money to buy herself more diamonds! You better Occupy UK before they bleed you dry oh!  

PS - please abeg, don't encourage BB to bring the emails on here. We all know that will lead to WWIII and this thread will be 30+ pages before the drama cools down.

Wow! This thread is just jaw-dropping. My Nigerian sisters, abeg shine your eyes well, well before you say "I do". Some of the people you call men are not men but wild animals in human clothing.

The God of heaven and earth knows that if a man touches anyone of my sisters, I will personally ensure that he NEVER recovers from that mistake. Beat who? The daughters we raised with utmost care and in luxury, without one tiny little speck of discomfort, you now want to beat?! Dem no born that man well! He will see mabo! I will show him that there are alpha males and the are ALPHA-males.

My philosophy in life is pretty simple. Nothing in this world is by force. If a woman has made up her mind to frustrate the hell out of me, I will just pack my bags and go stay in a hotel for a few weeks. Chikena! I can't even imagine things getting so bad that I am raising a hand to my own wife. God forbid bad thing oh! I'll rather send her to her father's house or pack out of the house myself rather than turn my home into hostile territory.

Why would anyone keep that much cash at home? Doesn't make any sense. There are safer options for even tax evaders like gold bullion and coins. But fiat money? Pure foolishness. Perhaps the husband is a money launderer for drug kingpins. There's a silver lining though: now that the wife will be heading to jail, the man will be free to cheat without fear

big_bumper:
You see the username moremi2008 on a thread, you dey ask "why the fight" instead of "when is the fight" or "how was the fight"

See my reputation! Yeparipa! I am a nice guy oh! Don't mind my verbal lashings! These guys deserve it jor!

r231:
is that the best you can do

like seriously kid

a guy calling another guy ugly hmmmm are you gayyy

sorry boss I AM HAPPILY MARRIED AND MY BACKSIDE IS NO ENTRY

Jesus! What is this grown man talking about? How did this conversation go from your ugly frog-face to backside entry? You don de mental, small, small oh! Why is this decrepit toad forming manhood on the internet? And now that you bring it up, why are you just now claiming "no-entry" when we all know for a fact that all the boys in the Agege Remand Home you grew up in have run through you and left you with a cavity worthy of medical excavation and intense prayers?!

Abeg, don't piss me off oh! And if you insist on looking for my wahala, I will give you the worst take-down you have ever had in your impoverished "monkey-go-London" life. Please go back to fine-tuning your charity (there is clearly a lot more work to be done). Come back to me when you've improved and need donations. Until then, please stop seeking my attention on here. We truly aren't on the same levels, seriously.

ps - see what you've caused?!!! Now Aunty Nike will be chasing me up and down with a broom for breaking forum rules!

r231:
words of SAGAMITE. . . . . . A PRODUCT OF FAILED NIGERIA EDUCATION SYSTEM

MOOOOOORON. . . CRETIN, ASSWIPE


trust me it. . . . you don't even need to drop your baby social service is just round the corner one phone call does it all



cry all you want. . . . with God all things are possible

you want me to FAIL, but sorry to disappoint you I WONT. Sit down and watch all you want

all i am doing is trying to help why don't you try that for a change rather than coming here charting poo ODE. its cus of asswipe like you thats why nigeria is still like that today

Oh, so this is the owner?!!! Now everything makes perfect sense! The poor ugly thing!

Idowu, thanks for pointing this out to me, I don't know how I missed something this obvious! I swear to God, I had no idea he was the founder. I guess good things can come from ugly people too!

Idowuogbo:
SMH! To say u haven't seen Ify's comment on d help she rendered is a blatant lieee,dude u no how dis started and u no wot d woman has done to help.So saying you only goin by wot you have read na pure jargons jakande!!!b,bros it pays to be quiet sometimes.Now going bck to d charity comment of urs,y knock something u didn't help build down,are u here to see its downfall and jubilate? Wow truly some negative people are walking freely,if I could make a law I would place such folks on house arrest.Moremi something tells me its an ongoing beef with its founder,I could be wrong but until u prove not guilty I would go by bad belle na hin dey worry u.Bite me ouccccchhh!!!!

I know Ify is your paddy, abeg take am easy oh! I honestly don't know her and for some reason I can't distinguish between her and Ivynwa (maybe because they are always speaking Igbo (or is it Edo or whatever) to each other).  To be honest, I sometimes mix you up with Ronke because you both seem to always come on here looking for Akara and Ogi recipes (I kid, I kid, I kid!!! )

Ok, seriously now, given the 16+ drama-filled pages of this thread, I can't claim to have followed every single post closely. I gave my opinions based on the overarching themes and developments from the thread. Of these, a few of them stand out as particularly negative/disturbing:

1) The misunderstanding between the official charity owners and Big-Bumper (that was just a mess, and you must surely agree with me on this)
2) The sudden withdrawal of support (at least of verbal support) by NLanders because Chioma, a legal adult, didn't want her parents to know and the insistence of some lawyer that Chioma's consent wasn't enough to provide temporary relief for Destiny

Those were the two main developments that left a bad taste in my mouth and I shared MY opinion on these issues. Whatever you think of me and my big mouth (to be honest, I don't really care), you must agree with me that this process was messy and for those of us with exacting standards for process efficiency and transparency, it wasn't a stellar example of what we know NLanders can accomplish.

The question of whether I contributed or not is irrelevant. I have contributed multiples of the numbers being bandied around here to charities that I respect and trust (in fact, I wouldn't have followed this thread at all if I didn't have a personal interest in observing and evaluating the outcome). I evaluate charities the same way I evaluate businesses; I won't contribute a dollar of my money to any charity until it can demonstrate some basic accountability and transparency. It's just my personal policy and I don't care what anybody thinks about it.  

As for this personal beef you think I have with its founder, I can only laugh. I don't even know who this "founder" is. Is it Chaircover? Or the ugly dude with the beautiful wife, r234 or something like that? Please, I don't have personal beefs with anybody on the internet oh! The internet is just not that serious! I come here to play and that's it. I keep all the really serious stuff strictly offline.  

maclatunji:
This thread is tragiComic, you guys have me laughing amongst people who are wondering what is wrong with me.  I wish the baby the best although I think her mother has made a mistake by not taking her to her grandparents.

Abdul, we all know you're signing-in from an IP address in Aro, Abeokuta! Stop blaming NL for shorts in your electrical circuitry.

OAM4J:
It is unfair for you to sit down at the comfort of your house and judge others who at least made effort to help. They called, they gave their time and money and visited. The question is what did you do to help that suddenly made you more catholic than pope?

I am sure they all fell over themselves to help, hence the reason why the poor girl came back time and again completely distraught that all her "helpers" were now calling her a scammer.

Idowuogbo:
Mr bag of chips now dat statement wasn't cute,shame on you for jumping into conclusions.I will still back Ify regardless of wot any1 thinks,she was d first to see mother and child.Ify had to fly to edo d next day after seeing Chioma to take on anoda charity project,common d woman genuinely wanted to help.I am still taking as to how far she is willing to help chioma even after all d mistrust issues and d shots fired @ her,her latest post of leaving d doors open for d sake of destiny goes to show she has a heart.Now u saying big-bumper was d only willing to help goes to show how we Nigerians judge issues,ur commentary should be sent to recycle no offence.

@oam4
Bless u jare buda jus dey jabo msteeew

Mrs Akara, it's my opinion and I can only comment on things I have read on this thread. I don't know anything about Ify and God bless her if she was truly trying to help (her reward is in heaven and God neither sleeps nor slumbers).

I have been involved in situations like this in the past that backfired big time and my policy is to participate only if I know the persons organizing the charity efforts, we have mutual friends I respect and that can vouch for them and I know their family background. Now, I just wait and watch. The NL charity is still young and green. It can't attract big donors until it can avoid messy situations like this one. No way I am throwing in my lot and reputation behind an organization that might mess up big-time and embarrass me (sorry but that's just my personal policy).

Anyway, glad Chioma and Destiny have found homes.

*goes back to eating my bag of chips*

See how a simple case of charity turned into a slug-fest for egomaniacs, empty barrels and misguided moralists?! I have never seen a situation this terrible in all my life. Chioma runs on here pleading for help and all these people come out of the woodwork asking her to involve her parents, as if they have some information about her parents that Chioma herself doesn't have or as if they can love her daughter or care for her more than she can. What kind of ego or conceit feeds these attitudes? Why should true charitable donations come with conditions, commas, semi-colons, insubordinate clauses, modifying phrases and all manner of addenda? Why do we see our charitable contributions as opportunities to control and manipulate those in need? Na wa oh!

To be honest, I initially thought Big-Bumper was going on and on earlier in the thread because her feelings were hurt  and her intentions were misconstrued but I now see that she was the only one with a genuine interest in helping in the first place. Shame on the rest of you! Throwing out toys from your prams while a desperate young woman cowers in some BQ with an infant she can barely feed.

I hope Chioma and her baby are now safe. Chioma, may God strengthen you over the next few months as you write your final exams! I hope you find a good job immediately after graduation and are able to take back your baby as soon as possible.

deniyor:
I apologise for calling you a fool and a troublemaker.
In retrospect, I realise that's an insult to fools and troublemakers.

Stop blaming me for your poverty. I guess your shift is over. You must be tired, exhausted and frustrated after a long day of driving taxis.

naijababe:
See self-confessed cave men

No Nigerian man can honestly say he doesn't want at least one male child. We are culturally conditioned to desire heirs, often to non-existent kingdoms.

I am not married and I know humans have an incredible capacity to make peace with a disagreeable reality. Maybe I won't have these fears any longer when faced with tiny bundles of pink and smiles.

Wow! Our civilization is truly going down the drain all in the name of quick-wealth and ignorance! Imagine young SS3 boys thinking the best way to achieving success is the ritual killing of a disabled person? What kind of hopeless desperation is this? So tragic.

I know in the Yoruba culture, it is fairly rare to have a funeral celebration for someone under 50. Even if there is a small gathering and there is food, most educated and well-to-do people will avoid eating anything more than snacks. It's just terribly poor form to go eating like a hungry person at a funeral party.

I get to attend a few parties (especially weddings) anytime I am home and I generally avoid eating at them because I know no matter how fancy or expensive the caterer is, the food is never going to be as good as the food my mum and her staff cook at home. I usually just eat snacks and have drinks. That's the way most people I know are. I swear to God, if I attend a party with a girl and she gets herself a giant plate of food, I am breaking up with her that very day!

fside234:
Oya go chop igekuge, then come back and tell me ok?

I agree. Please go eat it and come back to tell us if it works!

I am a guy and I won't lie about my secret but strong desire for at least one male child. I will try for at most 4 children and if they are all girls, I might consider adopting. Truth is, women go to their husbands houses and promptly forget they ever had a father. I want a son to bear my name and go capture another man's daughter to come join our clan! It's pretty primitive thinking but I can't help thinking it!

Why not? If the woman is acting violent and the man wants to avoid an escalating situation, then he should call the cops and have them handle the situation. Both men and women pay the taxes that pay those cops' salaries.

deniyor:
The downside with free internet is you get fools and troublemakers like moremi contributing. 
Just best to ignore him rather than trade words.

I pay for my Internet in cold hard $$$ for the highest bandwidth I can get. Everything I do is premium, baby! The question is, who is providing YOU with free internet service and what have you contributed lately? I look around and all I see are oxygen-deprived parrots squealing for corn seeds, in the exact words of their stewpid owners!

I have generally tried to hold myself back from unleashing the full strength of my wrath on Lastpage because of his age, but the old man no go gree; coming back again and again to serve up his lukewarm broth of errant foolishness; hoping to impress me with his area-boy curses. Well, I am not impressed. He needs to go back to his dingy bat, regroup and come back harder. He who wants to fight better men than he must approach with superior weapons;and the weapons of our warfare are purely neural.

Last page is full of a terrible mash of illogical fears he masquerades as ideas and presents on here. I have every right to call him out on his illogical arguments and tease-out the dark recesses of his severely under-educated mind for all to see. If this upsets you, then guess what? Go up the tallest building in your village, mount the winds, shake out your moldy, tattered agbada and fcking fly! I have ZERO concern for the welfare or emotional frailty of idiots. Nairaland isn't a charity house for impoverished minds and low IQs. Now. pfftt!!!! Don't let me see you speak without being spoken to first again!

lastpage:
@Rimbaldi[/b]Thanks man, l thought l was dealing with a matured person, someone with a little dignity.

[b]Except that l forgot that the internet is replete with his kind, uncouth, foul-mouthed, God-forsaken cretins who should have been aborted at 12weeks and flushed down the soak-away!
How can a boy who does not respect his wretched father, respect other peeps father? Na yams?

Anyway, I have this [size=18pt]BIG, RED IGNORE BUTTON[/size] that is doing a wonderful job right now!

Cheers
Lastpage!

Old ancient man, where is YOUR own dignity?

You're lucky you're an old man. Go in peace! May the good Lord grant you wisdom so you can catch-up with the rest of your mates in the nursing home!