₦airaland Forum

This is a deep family situation. I'll leave this for Madam CC and her cabal of feminist warriors!

There really isn't a dilemma here. Only a foolish woman will see lake of fire and jump into it. Besides, you only just met the guy in December? Chineke! Better remove your heels and run for your dear life!

youngbo$$:
That is the biggest joke have heard. Not at all

Where's the joke? What company manufactures these baby imbeciles and sends them out to torment NL with foolishness?

Sounds like a fancy gbomo-gbomo service to me.

ps - just kidding! partially!

coogar:
my friend, stop being an alarmist - don't ruin it for us(yet to be husbands)

yes - it is still worth it to have someone you love and grow old with.
it's a personal choice you will have to make by listening to yourself and not from others.

you have absolute and total control over what a marriage will be for you.
if you want a marriage like your grandparents (loving, best friend, whom to raise children with, who you know like your favourite pair of jeans, who you feel as if she is home to you) that's what your marriage will be.

if you want your marriage to end up like dumbass celebrities - married today, separated tomorrow, that's exactly what it would be for you as well.
life is what you make it.

what a marriage will be to you is entirely up to you and what you consciously want to create. it's like a garden, a marriage can be colourful, beautiful, full of butterflies and hummingbirds - but only if you cultivate it to be so. if you neglect it, like a garden, it will wither and die, and be a barren dry waste of dirt.

the $64,000 question is not "is marriage worth it"?
just like a garden, you can't really ask, is gardening worth it? well,  i think it depends on the gardener.

marriage can be a deeply satisfying, fulfilling way to express love and generate love for yourself and for others. but only if you are willing to cultivate it as such.
like joy and happiness, it is not a destination to be reached and you can say: "ok, i'm here!" it's a path to be walked.

and it is a glorious path! sure, you may have to deal with fungus/stubborn/elephant grass on your lawn, or the occasional spider mite. . . .but like a garden, under the right conditions, it will flourish unless you don't have interest in gardening!

Oga, I am a bit worried about you because you have outdated notions of marriage. Nobody is EVER going to get a marriage like their grandparents except they live in a remote village in Damaturu. The social insitution of marriage is dramatically different from what it used to be and cultural expectations are also vastly different.

First, we now have divorce and if you live in the West like I do, divorce is a life-changing and financially catastrophic event for the man. Typically she gets 50% of your net worth + alimony + child support. It's a devastating proposal and men are wise to tread cautiously. You will be a fool if some woman carts off with all the fruits of your hard-earned labor. Even your family members will look at you with pity and warn their children not to be like you. Yes, I have seen it happen many, MANY, times.

Second, women are now empowered and free. While this is a wonderful development for everybody, what it means in practical terms is that you might put 110% into your relationship but it won't make the woman stay because she is independent and can just up and out anyhow she likes. To the woman, you're just a living and breathing call option; she'll exercise that option only if your worth rises to meet her strike price. Otherwise, she is out. Today's marriage vows are for better and for better; these days "for worse" is confessing negative. Now, I am not advocating that women stay in unhappy marriages but the problem is that the woman can leave for WHATEVER reason she likes. She doesn't even have to give a convincing reason beyond the vague excuse of "irreconcilable differences." Her definition of "difference" could very well be, "I have found someone richer"

Your garden analogy is really cute but cuteness if for little children. Have you ever heard of infertile grounds? Or plants that are especially susceptible to disease? You might garden as much as you want and still fail miserably. That mistake will cost you half a million dollars minimum, please. And while you're making payments, please keep your hands away from any fruits and flowers because she has got custody! Now, fcking roger that!  

Successful young men in the West have EVERY incentive to wait and tread super-cautiously. Otherwise, they had better pony-up for a good lawyer and an iron-clad pre-nup. In the meanwhile, they can play in the garden of delight, sampling different flowers and squirrelling away assets in off-shore accounts where the future Mrs. can't touch it. At least, that's my plan.  

Oya! Kill me!  

queensmith:
Its very obvious none of you are actually that succesful otherwise you wouldnt be surrounded by women that are soo poor the idea of sharing cyber irks you.

And dont even come here talking about kobe bryant im fed up of that nonsense.

Never have i heard that as an excuse not to be married, then again what is nl for if its not to hear such nonsense! Carry on!

Spoken like a true golddigger!

Unfortunately, most of the "successful" women around me aren't Nigerian. Marrying a foreigner is a no-go for me.

They at Aso Rock being lubricated!

Only Sagamite (as foolish as he is) has addressed my pressing concerns. The thought of a woman coming to reap where she has not sown bothers me. Except I can find a wife that has her own properties, businesses and assets, then why should I marry a woman unless she signs an iron-clad pre-nup?

Freecocoa rightly observed that I have a big-head. I am pretty warm and easy-going in real life but I have zero tolerance for foolishness and games. If you're not razor sharp, you can't roll with me except as a strict bedroom companion. The woman that will win my heart will try oh!

ps - I included "for guys" in the title because the equation is completely different for women. They do have shorter biological clocks than men and lower rewards for devoting their youth to their careers (given income disparities). I don't want to conflate the two groups.

chaircover:
Don’t worry Moremi; all mothers have a dream husband or wife for their kids but when the time comes all she will want is for you to be happy.

For my daughter, I want a God fearing Van Vicker Look alike, President Obama type, Havard Educated, Rich and Fit looking gentleman who will treat her like a queen

But when the time comes I will just go for a man that loves her dearly and she loves too & will treat her right & make her happy 

I googled Van Vicker and he is not worthy of Little Miss CC! How old is she again? Is she pretty like Agbani? I can wait for her if need be. 

Outstrip:
He makes valid points. The only thing to correct here is that it works the same way for both sexes. Why should a woman marry? Especially in a culture were women are not encouraged to move up. Why not just travel the world. Screw anyone you fancy, advance your career or businesses until you hit the glass ceiling and then adopt children in your 40s. For some people this is ideal. For others the sacrifices made for marriage and family is worth all those other things. To each their own.

Hahahaha! I laugh in Mandarin! Yes, oh Aunty Outstrip! Go embark on an international career of intrigue and legs-wide-open! See how that works for you! 

sadmama:
You would have someone accountable for you, that watches ur back, that is a part of you. Someone who would care for your needs sincerly always having u in mind. Marriage can be fun, the togetheress can be wonderful, though the excitement of boyfriend girlfriend is no longer there. that fantasy(even though exciting) is replaced by a sure firm affection. Then if the marriage is blessed with kids, now thats cool. u see ure self manifest in little ones, ur traits, ur character, it can be amusing and fun.
Then u have someone waiting on u, at ur beck and call. she cooks ur food, serves u, could help with ur laundry, keep ur home front and might even contribute to finances. I even think its more fun for guys sef. For women all u get is that ure a Mrs and people could respect u or snigger less about you finish.

Marriage and the politics of it can be fun really. Esp when u find a good woman and if u urself are good. Being good christians or muslims would also help. Cheers and good luck on ur string of girlfriends, hope u dont get distracted and miss the good ones.

I know someone that was denied a good job because he wasnt married, he couldnt convince the employers that he was a responsible person, esp as he had worked in good jobs for up to 8 years.

So try abeg, 

Ehn, ehn? Say it isn't so Mr. Sad Mama!!!! This isn't Fiction-writing 101 abeg! You've been reading too much of your wife's Mills & Boon (sp?)

moremi2008:
Poor little retardeen! You must be writing this from a cybercafe in Abia state! Almost or consumer electronics are manufactured in Asia! Especially, that Android phone you're so proud off!

Ooops! I quoted the wrong guy! Pele!

da student:
People just try to make themselves believe that the Android is superior to the iphone and i laugh.I am not displacing the fact that the Android is good,but the Fandroids and their excuses is really getting old.I have been using apple products for a while now and seriously,as far as am concerned,other products are like Chinko to me.

Even though Apple products are clearly made in China.

Poor little retardeen! You must be writing this from a cybercafe in Abia state! Almost or consumer electronics are manufactured in Asia! Especially, that Android phone you're so proud off!

Jarus:
Isn't it funny how people, at the drop of a hat, bring down a company/people without the slightest proof?

Wale Tinubu has given his explanations, it is now left for the committee and you critics to prove he perpetrated crime.

He even said his company had written petitions to the govt in the past, complaining about shady activities in the system, but no action was taken. You critics did not see that.
You armchair critics also did not question why the conditions for granting oil importing licence(a number of retail stations, tank farms, and other assets) were relaxed in 2007.
You also ignored why the number of oil importers suddenly jumped to 100 plus in the last 2 years, and how companies that dont even have assets or even office(briefcase companies) are granted licence to import oil. Questions and more questions; Musikilu Majeed, NEXT's investigative reporter even did a report in the Next then how Diezani was just distributing licence to everybody, including her jeweller, Chris Aire, who now has a briefcase 'oil company'.

Yet, it is Oando that has assets all over the country and a decent company doing Nigeria proud in the global oil industry, you have to blame.

Hahaha! It is sycophants like you that make Nigeria a pig circus! Obasanjo Farms also has assets all over the country and is doing Nigeria proud, right?! How about SAPetro? You're proud of that as well? Olodo rapata! No wonder they have sold your inheritance and mortgaged your destiny to Swiss banks and Dubai property developers! Keep suffering, smiling and "Ranka de'ing" your oppressors!

ps - why should I prove a thing? Wetin come concern me? Is it my money that Wale used to buy his private jet, his stunning penthouse in Jo'burg or his mansion on the West End (and these are only the properties I have personally seen and confirmed)? Abeg jor! Comot with this nonsense! I am just saying what I know for a fact. You can believe or not believe. I don't send you.

chaircover:
see you!!  did you miss the he/she bit of my post?

I have been playing this game a looooooong time bro    una no fit catch me like that [s]even though I was actually referring to the woman[/s]  

LOL!!!!!!!!!! I guess it's just luck. To be honest, I wouldn't even be giving this a second thought if not for my Mum. That woman's priorities are so misplaced! Instead of focusing on her unmarried daughters, na me she come face like we are fighting a war! And it's not as if she's the easy to please type oh!

Her list is tall and ridiculous. She wants a Yoruba woman but not one from Ijebu or anywhere in Ogun State. She wants a woman that is immaculately educated (preferably a lawyer, engineer, doctor or accountant). She wants a born-again Christian woman that isn't too small and isn't too big but knows how to cook apon, ila alasepo, efo riro and pound yam! She also wants a woman that is as pretty as all the girls in my family (and God knows, we have some stunning beauties in my nuclear and extended family) but she can't be prettier than them to avoid jealousy! She wants a woman with a mother that is fashionable and rich because they must both wear matching rolexes at the wedding! Abeg! At this rate, I might as well marry her best friend's daughter (but I can't stand the girl because she's an arrogant little ho that has already been passed around a couple of times).

^^^Hey, Aunty BB, can we see pics? My kini is getting a little happy in anticipation! Nothing is more magical than a big Nigerian nyansh! There is this usher lady at my church! Oh Jesus! No comments!

Idowuogbo:
@Moremi

Bumper Iya oko mi bedttt gann o,if u see as her yansh dey salute wen she catwalks apoti mami dangerous .Come wetin R2bees do u? He didn't bleep natin up mann,God helped Chioma in anoda way everything happened for a reason.U no c as God show me my Iya oko carry,mehnn my wedding ma large gann,bcus she get d money it large gannn.

@Iya Oko miiii

Mehnnn come and pay off my student loan ooo,aunty mi alabode  

r678 didn't do me anything oh! He just poked his nose into what doesn't really concern him and I unceremoniously dealt with him! Most name-calling and tongue-lashing I give on here is for entertainment purposes. Nothing personal.

chaircover:
If one knows that he/she will be replaced, then they cant give you all their best.

Contractors are known not to work as hard as permanent staff

Said just like a woman! Why do women always stick together?! So you want me to first wife her before she gives me her best? Which kind business proposal be dat?

Idowuogbo:
Ambassador for Poor People  Organisation wot were u saying ,is it ur money? Was he complaining or asking for opinions? Na ur type dey vex wen Nnamdi drive hin jeep come village,stop hating on a brother remind God for ur own blessing agracha someborri.

P.S- if u were preaching damnnnn u waCkkKk,wen u preach u apply swagga come to me for lessons.

@moremi
D guy post u pic 2 ooo,do u fancy him? See as hin denge pose like bread agege to ti gan

Wait a minute!!! Was he actually talking to me? I couldn't understand a word he was typing and thought he had mistakenly posted in this thread. What exactly is he trying to say about the village and marriage? What does this have to do with cars? I honestly can't make a head or tails of his little speech.

What are they lubricating? The Sahara desert? Barawo! Ole! Na God go punish GEJ and his fat ugly wife!

The funny thing is Apple got a LOT of flak for adopting a ridiculously strict on-boarding process for new apps! Look who is laughing now?!!! Andriod is for id.iots! Go iPhone, Go!

Chiomamb:
Thanks all for ur efforts.
Special thanks to @BigBumper who's been ever present in both our lives.I go on my knees everyday to pray 4 U & I'll make sure my Baby's 1st prayer is a prayer 4 U.God really used U 4 me & wouldn't have made it without ur moral & financial support.I can't pay U back for all the love & care.I know U won't like this but i owe U too much now.My life,my Baby's life & my future(My School fees paid).God Go Make U bigger.U're the only one that stuck through.I'll always remain grateful.

I am so happy you and Destiny are doing well. Please keep us in the loop (there are some seriously connected people on here so it never hurts to try). Good luck with your exams oh!

R666 has some serious explaining to do about how he fcked this one up!

Big Bumper, you seriously rock! I hope your bumper is truly as big as you say it is.

txswat:
Honestly its going to come down to personal preference. I know people who are MB lovers and there is nothing you can say to them about BMWs that'll convince them otherwise. However, I also know people who are BMW faithfuls who consider MB vehicles as inferior products.
Both suvs are very good and you can't go wrong either way. Personally I'm a Lexus/Toyota person but if I had to choose between your options I'd go with the MB product because I think the finishing on the interior of MBs are way superior to that of the BMWs. My only concern would be the GLK being relatively new engineering since it just came out in 2010 so there might still be some tweeks here and there. BTW where are you buying yours from?
Wish you all the best in your search.

Thanks for responding. Yes, the GLK is fairly new and I am not really a fan of the "Hearse" shape. But it's the right size and if you're looking for a reliable compact luxury SUV that isn't too loud, you don't really have that many options (I really dislike Lexus, honestly).

Oh, I am just going to visit a few local dealers once I am done researching and ready. I am really not a fan of cars. I only buy them because I need to.

Nsefiudm:
Well, my brother, one thing i understand from you is that the way you have choosing to live your life, let me ask you, in your village how many people complain what you are complaining ? again did your father complain like this ? so what am saying is that is your life, you thing money is everything money is not everything is the life you live, you have a problem, many men who are not rich yet marry live happily, you said you have everything money that is the prayer of every woman so that she will join others and say thank you Jesus, again in your village in your state in Nigeria you can't fine a woman that is humble and marry ? my brother check your life, if it is women i know today that seven women is ready to answer your name today that you are complaining, i will tell you to change your life style only then good life will come.

What on earth are you talking about, bros?

Sagamite:
You are still claiming successful? How?

Look what the cat brought in today! Still dumpster-diving behind McKinsey for rejected Powerpoint slides? Or are the security dogs being too much of a hassle today?

chaircover:
The answer to your question solely depends on if you are married to the right woman and if you are the right man for the right woman  - Then Yes its worth it but No if otherwise.

Saga I knew that you would be here with Dayo following close behind 

Thanks Ma. But of course, the million-dollar question is who is the "Right" woman? Why put all your eggs in one basket when you can just keep a rotation or at least keep it unofficial?

ChimexOlajideAli:
Wat Oando's MD said was the truth, so weda u believe him or not,dat doesn't matter, period,

I noticed that you have only one post count. So you joined NL just to reply me? LOL!!! Are you a paid shill? How much is Wale paying you? Let me guess, you are that ugly PA that follows him to every business meeting? Is this now part of your job description? Defending Oando on the internet? Poor you! Please you don't want me to start on Oando. I have seen the books (or at least what Wale calls the books) and I can personally verify that they stink to high heavens! Oando is a giant scam! Better believe it.

Of all the toys in the whole world, it is a toy gun I see fit for my son? Hell nah! He can play with anything else but replicas of dangerous weapons.

ikamefa:
@ topic next time u are going to the office, stop at the local market , buy the following:
1: loofah better known as sponge
2: antiseptic soap
3:detoil
4: chlorox bleach 
6 :  a very strong perfume

@ topic wrap it up and give it to ur oga as a  welcome back gist, he/she is sure to get the gist. if he still does not get the gist the next time u go into his office just use a small cloth to hold your nose " ". that is sure to do the trick.

Here is what is likely to happen. The boss will get the message, change his hygiene habits and THEN fire you! You don't want to be the foolish rat that belled the cat! Just ignore it; I am sure he smells to others as well and somebody else with nothing to lose will tell him at some point.

I am not asking this question in jest; I am dead serious. What exactly is the point of marriage? I am successful, independent, I  have had a string of steady girlfriends and if I want, I can have a string of baby mamas. What exactly is the advantage of marriage for a guy? I just don't get it. Please don't tell me "love" because I have been in love twice in my young life (I am in my late-twenties) and nothing came out of it but unnecessary pain (I am not interested in love, ever again). So why should a guy get married besides family pressure?

monex:
On point. Businesses are setup to make profit and any business owner including Seun and everyone on nairaland will take advantage of poor/lax regulatory framework. so blame the regulators (Government) not the business. Boko Haram is a different matter however.

There is a big difference between regulatory arbitrage and pure criminality. The logical extension of your argument is that we would all steal if given the opportunity. That's patently NOT true but it is attitudes like yours that give Nigerians world over a terrible name.

maclatunji:
You are right about responsible older siblings making sacrifices for young ones but whilst making those sacrifices you need to be smart and not forget that you have to build yourself as an individual too.

As for wealth, academic and professional success- those are tied to your destiny and God gives them to whom he wills. It is not that the elder brother in your story did not have opportunities (outside of the scholarship he left) but he wasn't destined to be a big shot- pure and simple.

Honestly, I am a bit of skeptical of the concept of "destiny". It's the biggest case of hindsight bias the world has ever known. We make our own destinies; we reserve the right to spin the story of our lives anyhow we like in hindsight though.

But let's not derail the thread. I am personally interested in this because I am the first child and I have been considering cutting-off my spoilt siblings for a while now and keeping the family business for myself and my future wife.

That's patent falsehood. However, there are two trends that tend make first born children less successful than their younger siblings:

1) First born children are typically born earlier in the parents' lives, typically at a time when there are less resources to send the child to the best schools
2) First born children often makes career-stunting sacrifices for their younger siblings. I have heard of several stories of first born children choosing to stop their education early so they can start working to support their younger siblings. I have also have a relative who refused to "travel abroad" on a scholarship in the sixties because he was the sole breadwinner of the family after the dad passed away. Guess what? The younger brother literally ran off to London in the early eighties and is now a big-shot in Lagos! Na so life be!

All things being equal however, there is no reason why a first born child is predisposed to poverty.

There is really nothing you can do if you're not close to him. Just keep your nose up in the air and pray for the best!

Want to be trafficked to Italy to find "work"? Call Dr. Ken!

Hahaha! Anybody that has taken a cursory look at Oando's books and strategy would know that the company is one huge giant air-brushed scam! I have said this on here before and I'll say it again and again. Oando is a giant scam! They have only managed to use their illegal profits and government looting to launder the company's image.