₦airaland Forum

It is an indisputable fact that intergender relationship is based on money, it is nothing but a quid pro quo. This is the bitter truth. However, such practice places on disadvantage, because most men will not likely settle down with someone they had had sexual transaction with. Instead, they will prefer someone not well known, even though she has similar mindset.

Thank God her beauty made you to be "awe stock" and probably blinded your eyes from seeing her "unattractive" physique. Mind you, I don't believe you didn't assess her properly, even when you claimed you stood for minutes admiring her. Her pretty face is her charm, that is her selling point. Since you have gotten the gorgeous face, why not work on the body to align to your preffered taste? Did you notice she isn't worried about her lanky stature? The one with problem is you. Do you think she hasn't made any sacrifice to be with, despite the deluge of rich suitors swarming all over her? If you can't withstand the kitchen heat,...

Unfortunately, the north, generally speaking, has no one to blame. This is not to say other regions do not have problems. No, they have problems, but they neither shop for an external body to blame, nor outright pretend that the problems never exist at all. However, years of irresponible leadership, criminal neglect, and abuse of the people's rights in the north have created dislocations that will take to decades to correct. Their plight is further complicated because there is no scapegoat to divert the attention of the people to. It appears that no one is interested in finding solutions to these problems. As is the tradition in the north, the governor of Katsina appears hopeless and not ready to find solution to this problem, even though he knows what the problem is and the security of life and property is his primary assignment. He is merely interested in enjoying the perks of office, until he tenure ends. The circle, unfortunately, continues.

Even a minute-old baby is eligible for beating. Just forget about the western unnatural concept that criminalises beating. This question might seen plausible because Africans almost always accept hook, line, and sinker most values that west hold. Corporal punishment is an integral disciplinary code of African culture. Is it not written somewhere in their bible that "Spare the rod and spoil the child?" What is unacceptable is battering and infecting bodily injuries to a child. Yes, a two-baby can been corrected through beating with love.

Howeger, madam, it is tantamount to abuse to lock up a two-year-old child and switch off the light. No, you crossed the line. Stop it.

Brother, stand your ground, don't give in to her feminine wiles and deception. At least the charge wasn't rape but "falling too cheap" to you, even when she has been celibate for a long time and was in need of a man's touch to explode. This bimbo has created a sort of unbreakable but unreliable code of conduct towards men, and she is pained to see you shatter it in less than a month. In fact, what she is indirectly telling you is that you are a Record Breaker, who didn't suffer any challenge and difficult to clinch the coveted "prize." This is how majority of young Nigerian women think.

If you don't handle this situation properly and she reluctantly continues to date you, she will always play the victim and make your self-esteem depreciate. Stop importuning her, reduce the degree of attention give to her. This is even more convincing since it is unreasonable to campaign after wining an election. You have won the stake, just settle down to do your job. She will come around, if she is interested.

I have searched for the so-called "unethical characters" of Igbo "boys" with little accomplishments as a reward for my labour. What the wench provided is a baseless accusation not supported with facts. Attacks and insults, at least for the most part -- both deserving and underseving -- fly both ways and no ethnic group has become fair game. Please anyone with a better understanding of this post should educate me.

Rounding off a masters programme yet thinking like a JSS 3 student. I have this hypothesis that the problem of Nigeria is an annoying uniformity of thinking. In Nigeria, everyone thinks in one direction: both the so-called educated and the unlettered.

Oga, a person like you suppose to know that marriage requires a lot of hard work and sacrifice. It is something you should properly understood before taking a leap.

As usual, no statistics or empirical quantification to substantiate what is purely a lame and feeble attack on an ethnic group. The Op should know that a lot of women are strongly competing with men in the workforce today occasion, in part, by global women emancipation movement and the democratisation of labour. Igbo women have a fair share of these jobs because of the firm root western education has taken in Igbo land, and Igbo women are well educated.

The idea that Igbo women are predominantly house wives will forever remain a figment of your imagination. When they are not doing white collar jobs, being self-employed as an artisan, engage in petty trading, they support their husbands' businesses. To be sure, indolence is not an attribute of Igbo women, neither do they stay at home to take care of the kids.

Until you stop groveling at the feet of a man who doesn't give a hoot about your existence, your self-esteem will continue to depreciate. I don't know where ladies got the erroneous idea that when guys are faced with difficulties, they tend to ignore or undermine their lovers. It is precisely an escapist lie ladies told themselves to feel better. However, this is inaccurate on all accounts.

Your duty is to reach out to him, to ensure that communication channels are not hampered by you. If he reciprocates, fine. If he doesnt, know you what to do. Anything else is akin to closing the stable door when the horse has bolted. There is no need to wear a long face because someone ignores you, it might be an opportunity to start assessing and listening to those whom you have disregarded.

I will never disclose how much I earn to her. I will also ensure I keep my payslip very far from her. But this policy is relative, because there is someone will meet and realise that keeping secrets are counter-productive.

I blame both mental and financial poverty as the root of such warped thinking. A lady who is from a well-to-do background will not feel financially entitled to his guy, nor will she become a liability to him under the guise of relationship.

Credit should be given to the bimbo for, at least, accepting that relationship is transactional, and that she is nothing but a huge burden to any man unfortunate to look in her direction. This is something most ladies know and practice but will always deny it. This Op is fearless and bold!

realtalk19:
Your husband is cold blooded narcissist, manipulator, pretender, egoistic, troublesome and immatured man.

I once knew someone with his kind of attitude and believe me no matter how calm,quiet and peaceful you try to be,it fuels his attitude more and will keep frustrating you till you break and loose your self worth,then you fall into depression and then you start looking for a way of escape but what keeps holding you back is how to start a fresh with 4 kids to take care of and no funds. It's not going to be easy at all especially with four kids except you are financially loaded.

You are the only one that can put a stop to all these. U may need to take a break and change environment so you can recover your sanity.

It is well with you.

There are still good,responsible,loving, caring and God fearing men out there . It only takes God's grace and Devine favor to end up with them. Most of them are also in the hands of a crazy, cold hearted woman who don't know the value of what they have and take them for granted.

May God help us all.

How dare you use the word "narcissist" in your post? Can't you find another synonym to use? Don't you know that the usage of that word is strictly reserved for the invincible captain of "Men are Scum" FC. Be warned!

Why is it that we always feel threatened and become unnecessarily pugnacious when confronted with the truth? Which John Snow doesn't know that there is an annoying spike in prostitution in Nigeria, dominated unfortunstely by ladies from southern Nigeria. Why should the Op be crucified because he wrote something that is manifestly self-evident, but which we are scared to death to admit? Even if the Op's account is hypothetical -- that is, he never visited hotels/brothels in Abuja and merely concocted the story because he feels it is true, even without evidence -- it is nonetheless an indisputable fact.

Apart from hotels and brothels that formed the basis of the Op's impeachable assertion, what of different online platforms, where ladies sell their bodies for peanuts. Again, majority of the ladies in these platforms are from the southern Nigeria. The percentage of Hausa ladies into prostitution, generally speaking, pales in comparision to the number of southern ladies in the "oldest profession" This is a problem we must courageously admit, and honestly look for a way to solve it.

Imustsurvive:
I can not give myself headache over system of payment for the job I no get.

It is simply because you are vain and shortsighted that you naively assume you weren't affected by the unpatriotic, destructive, and depraved conduct of the federal government towards tertiary education in Nigeria. Let me tell you this: the government, beginning from mid 1990s, has never hidden it intention to destroy university education in Nigeria, the same way it has done to primary and secondary education. So, any knowledgeable Nigerian should be grateful to unions like ASUU that is at the forefront of protecting the methodical destruction of university education by politicians and cohorts, with a plan to mushroom private universities across the country. Even if you aren't directly affected, you almost certainly suffer vicarious responsibility, because you have relations and friends, who are either currently schooling, or are preparing to access Nigeria's poorly-funded tertiary education.

Most importantly, though, no sane nation toils with it education the way Nigeria does, not only because it is the bedrock of development, but due to the fact that it is the proper channel to groom the youth and empower them to achieve their potentials and subsequently take charge of the economic. It is must have been obvious to you now that the Nigerian government has no plan -- even if a faulty one -- for the youths.

whixstan:
I wish we could all honest and stop being hypocrists
Fraud is bad
Yahoo is bad

But you make it seem as if yahoo boys are the problems this country have

With an enabling environment we can think progressively and do greater things all these boys are thinking about right now is survival

But you won't see that side

I think it's jealousy that's why you came here to create such a thread someone didn't steal from you nor did he beg you money he's just living his life and you here ranting

Your politician are busy cashing out and burning offices you didn't create a thread on it but you are here now calling yahoo boys heartless

GOD KNOWS ALL OUR HEARTS �........

It is a shame you couldn't conceal your support for fraudsters and murderers, who hide under the guise of "Yahoo boys" to perpetrate crimes and tarnish the already battered image of Nigeria -- even though you appeared to be somewhat critical, but that was a decoy. There is no excuse to engage in criminal activities, notwithstanding that political leaders in Nigeria are irresponsible and vile. We know it for a fact, Nigeria is a badly managed space, nonetheless, it doesn't provide justification to hobnob crimes and criminals. Just like any other criminal activity, what compels youths to engage in cyber fraud? And, is engaging in this illicit activity actuated solely by the desire to survive? Have you ever seen a youth who defraud people because he couldn't provide food for himself? In other words, existential necessity -- that is, the desire to eat food or perish -- is never a reason to fleece people of their hard-earned money.

Cybercrimes are inspired mainly by two factors: one, laziness and lack of contentment and, two, an obsession to impress and oppress. Have you ever seen a "Yahoo boy" that is unassuming and reserved? It is just to show-off, to attract underserved attention, and to challenge genuine, hardworking guys, who are motivated by ethical, moral, and religious principles to maintain the propriety of legal means of livelihood. Other than impress women, almost all "Yahoo boys" flaunt their ill-gotten wealth to shame and oppress guys.

When compared to women in Nigeria and the seemingly irresistible craving for easy money and the lack of mental exertion to be financially independent, intergender relationship is purely transactional. This reality lends credence to the time-honoured Igbo proverb that says "The goat follows the person with a palm front." Sadly, in today's Nigeria, the Yahoo boys seem to "possess" the palm front.

I completely agree that an average Nigerian is a congenital opportunist. The way we rationalise issues that secure our interests without recourse to religious or ethical principles is dreadfully astounding. The average Nigerian is bound to become soulless, cold, indifference, preposterous, and highly calculating if he is to make profit from a situation, without giving a hoot to the wider implications of his actions.

However, you seemed to have a little misunderstanding of the meaning of the word "opportunist." It doesn't mean someone who easily forgets his/her helper/benefactor in difficult moments, it simply means the untrammeled disposition to make gains, or gaining advantage, power, etc from any and every situation. The word that is nearest to "opportunist," in my limited knowledge and understanding of the English language, is "Ingrate." It means someone who doesn't appreciate assistance received from people -- an ungrateful person. Such a person is likely to suffer memory loss or amnesia. Perhaps that is why an English proverb says an "Ingrate is a robber in disguise."

I can only rightly attribute a situation where Nairaland's Simphood Hall of Fame is rolled out and the most famous simp, whose unprecedented and unexampled acts of senselessness and foolishness towards a wench is yet to be rivaled by anyone in this graveyard -- as the scheme of the enemy. However, we should always endeavour to courageously place/give culpability -- as well as reward to -- whom and where the belong.

Dear friends, that celebrated simp is Greatresearcher1, a kettle that has the temerity to call the pot black. Please let someone close to Greatresearcher1 tell him to quickly assume the first position, because doing otherwise is a gruesome and despicable assault to logic and commonsense.

bukatyne:
Ok, thanks for your time.
1. A man who can 'maintain a balance' (I don't understand what balance means here) in whatever situation is not hardworking: he is self-disciplined or moderate.

2. A man who has the fear of God can not be caught wanting.

I hear you however, you have not answered my question:

What qualities do you need in a husband? I want you to think about it.

If you cannot define what you need in a husband, you might not be able to recognize and appreciate them when they come your way.

Why are you so obsessed in foisting your opinion on her, even though she has clearly written what her preferences for her ideal man are? This is against the backdrop of her clearheaded attempt to explain what she means, in case you find it incomprehensive. It is as if your cracked lens are the only legitimate, credible, device to understand and measure yardsticks for choosing partners. Even more confounding, your obstinate insistency is ridiculous because the points she provided are unambiguous and self-explanatory. Who on earth doesn't know what a "hardworking man" and one who has the "fear of God," mean?

bluefilm:
For a lecturer, your grammar really shows how low our level of our educational system in this country has gotten to.

It's really appalling, I must say.

A lot members of this graveyard have legitimately protested against what they denote as an inexcusably and dreadfully poor writeup, emanating from a supposed lecturer. I am worried because, as a member of that profession, that fellow didn't represent us well. In any case, there is no denying the fact that, a good primary six pupil will write an even more articulate and fascinating report -- that is way better than the ridiculous and incoherent account our beloved lecturer produced -- even if s/he is under intense and unbearable pressure. Unfortunately, the OP's disjointed and inarticulate piece shows a blot in a system where merit and excellence have been banished and mediocrity, elevated as the abiding principle.

If the OP is indeed a lecturer, he is nothing short of an intellectual pygmy, apparently engendered by our merit-stifling culture of political patronage. Don't put all the blame on him, spare some for our political class, that has no regard for law and due process and promotes impunity.

funmisticqueen2:
let us see your knuckles and elbows, same with your eyes. That could be your sisters' photo

We would also like to see you in sunlight, not under a shadow.

Your picture doesn't prove anything. All I see is makeup.

I am sure you bleached. I have inside information that you are not a nurse, you studied something else

There's also another secret that I won't expose here. Greet the smallie for me.

That is our enigmatic skippo of "Men are Scum" Football Club at her very attacking best. Well done, Skippo!

Martinez39s:
Swallow redpill... they will not swallow. A woman is never yours, it's just your turn or a matter of how long you are beneficial to her. Genuine romantic love and loyalty through thick and thin can't be found in women. A woman will only stick and endure with you if there is no better option and staying is much convenient than leaving. Take heart.

There is so much degree of veracity in your comment. We know that majority of our ladies don't settle down with whom they love, it is always who is available/ready. It therefore creates room for cheating as the case at hand shows.Unfortunately, the asinine disposition of these wenches is regrettably revealed in the futile act of guilt-tripping a heartbroken man who has been lablelled "emotionally weak" because he intends to expose a cheating wife by informing his immediate family. A cheater should be exposed with every means necessary to nip it in the bud.

It is simply idiotic to engage in amorous and flirtatious chatting in a marriage of two years. It shows there is compatibility issue/challenge. Is engaging in imoral chatting the way out? Of course, not. The Op should be firm and relentless in tackling this issues, for it might shape the trajectory of the marriage, if he decides to go on with her. Therefore, who believe that Mr. OP should tread carefully because the marriage is obviously too young to crumble have successfully led themselves up to a blind alley.

Lansense! What a pitiful way to extenunate your lack of character and self-control! Oga, nobody will stop you from getting a second wife, provided you have the means. Therefore, your so-called dream and the gibberish that supposedly fell out of the mouth of that merchant of the gospel are poorly crafted excuses to make you appear helpless and curry undeserved pity. Believe me, they are easy giveaways.

In any case, you don't need to conjure up these preposterous tales to make your canal desire of that wench a product of divinely-induced mandate to a better future for you. Since you have the means, parley with your wife and satisfy your sexual urge with boldness.

Wolgrace:
Funny you... Iwe bawo? We're all learning here. I drew the line out of God's counsel, i.e a man that finds a wife obtains favour from Him. So, is the woman that finds a husband. Although, my write ups already expantiated what the line is.

Wife and woman are totally different, same is husband and man. Good wife and good husband as gifted by God have specific qualities and roles to maintain the blessed gift of God. Therefore, she obtained her good husband as a favour from God. Attributing the 47years success to her less expectation qualities is a fatal error.


She should have married a thug or tout or violent beast to know if her qualities would bring success and joy in her marriage.

Oluwa is involved!

If we are to adopt "Wolgracian logic," those who have bad husbands are inexorably serving punishment from God since, according to you, God gives good husbands. The way we carelessly simplify relationship as if it is arithmetic is confounding. Good people marry bad people, bad people marry good people. It has nothing to do with God. This is just humanity's craving to understand and impose our explanation on the accidents or choas that nature unleashes on humanity.

mytime24:
Ok, kovik 22

Young woman, you are committing hate speech. I can't guarantee your safety any longer.

mytime24:
I blame covid 19

And not Covik 1 9?

There is always a contrived fuss when a man is at the receiving end, but if it is a woman, it suddenly becomes the man's obligation. You have got two problems: a man who is the breadwinner of his family and his seemingly endless borrowing disposition.

My instinct tells me that, you resent his family's financial standing and, of course, will latch on any spurious reason to bolt. More so, the bleating of bimbos of Nairaland are united -- as always -- in an overwhelming demand for termination of the relationship. Be my guest!

kestolove95:
I stay in Niger state, London street, but sowie I can hangout with u, Yoruba people are dirty

Although I am not Yoruba, but this sweeping and wild statement of yours about an ethnic group is both infantile and unwarranted. You tend to write like someone who has visited all Yoruba states, and met with all Yoruba people to arrive at such conclusion. In Nigeria we have what is called stereotypes, which we playfully attribute to almost every ethnic groups. However, they remain what they are: stereotypes. No sensible, intelligent, and broadminded person will publicly use these distorted lens to describe and define a people or race. This comment of yours is highly condemnable.

rusher14:
Where are the prototypes from Innosons?

Where are the prototypes from Bayero University, Kano?