₦airaland Forum

Julius Malema..Steady customer

iLegendd:
1. Full-body massage (mostly back and head massage) damn!
2. Food — a type I haven't tasted before, but guaranteed to taste good.
3. Shave my beard and line my hair — I love the warm feeling clipper gives me (it's a mini-head massage). The process of barbing feels good and the outcome of looking good feels great.
4. Shower me in a bathtub and take me to an all-white minimalist bedroom.

Bonus: Blindfold me and maybe, teach me a lesson or allow me to sleep while listening to a soothing saxophone or violin symphony.

This one don equate Hollywood abii Philippine movies for the drama.🤣🤣🤣

MEEVEET:
Why not just do direct entry

First class in bio chemistry can easily get you to second year med-sug

The Jamb route is best for her..

That direct entry is 50/50 and judging from the fact she is a first class chemist, they will likely deny her direct entry route and advise her to come pick a lecturing Job in chemistry..

Better she moved to start on a fresh note.

Zonefree:
It's spicy, bah?

Them add am Shitor for you 🤣🤣

Zonefree:
Amala and Ewedu.

You be case..🤣🤣🤣

Zonefree:
That's good.
If she's in his position, she'll do more.

Whatever it takes to bring pain and agony to an average Nigerian girl in a relationship is totally acceptable by me.


Sanity 1
The future 0

Lmao...Nwanne your Jollof rice is ready...This one na Ghana jollof🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

markidoo:
You're positive,,those people that like transmitting HIv always look for people that have never had sex.. One girl shared her story and experience with me,First time sex , first time contracting.. she's 12yrs in Anti Retroviral Drugs

Funny shit 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Comedians come plenty for Nairaland this time around.

PerfectStranger:
I can relate bro, congrats.

Now invite one sure kpekus and sample her in your new apartment .The feeling is heavenly

Destiny killing Advise.

SirLiquidGold:
In 2021, I decided to stay on my on and try to face life and achieve growth as a man. The journey has been challenging, I won't lie but I have been able to learn valuable lessons.
I have been living in a face me I face you since may 2022. When I got there, it was a total different kind of lifestyle.

The landlady particularly called me on the second week I got to the compound. she said I looked gentle which is good but that shouldn't stop me from washing the bathroom and toilet when it's my turn.
I kept wondering what was the similarity between being gentle and washing the toilet?
Well I had no problem complying since it's a normal routine for all tenants.

I had to share bathroom and also toilet. And when it's time to cook, I did that in my room. Sometimes I felt shy and washed in my room then one lady in our house told me my room will be smelling if I keep washing there.
Sometimes they fight over the smallest issues that can be solved with just sorry.
I found it very strange.

To top the whole issue, our compound did not have its own water or well. We had to go to the next street.
Well I thought it wise to be buying things gradually. I bought bed, standing fan and curtains. You know the normal bachelor bachelor's setup.

Then this week, I was able to rent another house which was a room and palor...
Hahahaha I have been walking up and down the house since I moved in. From the kitchen to the palour and to the room then to the bathroom. Sometimes, I'll peep through the windows to look at people passing lol. Don't mind me, I just graduated from living in a house with a single widow to a house with more than 5 windows

I now have easy access to water and I have just been laughing unnecessarily to myself. Well I think it's part of living alone.
I'm going to get pots of flowers and put it infront of my house make we start from there.
Having a spacious apartment is also beautiful. Omo I feel really happy o

Photo of Face-Me-I-Face-You used for illustration

It is the house corridor for me..🤣🤣una no go allow this house rest.

Something cute about being intentionally stubborn..

Bobloco:
Na promises we go chop

Ike gwuru🤣🤣🤣

AqualinaXYZ:
During election you’ll be hearing wait for KKK brothers votes



Kano Kaduna Kastina



Una think say life ends in multitude votes



Let it hit them very hard una kuku no dey baff



Infact let lack of air hit them

Hey Comrade you no get Joy For the Kstates 🤣🤣🤣

The entire system has collapsed.

How do you expect an 18year old to focus on education, when another ss3 student wey dey HK don dey drive spider or Lexus🤣🤣🤣.

Looking at the political leaders, Church don dismiss for that area..🤣🤣

Valoromega:
I've been married for 2 years now with a new born baby. the issue now is that anytime we have issues my wife always threatens to leave.
she will arrange and bag and say she's leaving. this has happened more tha 4 times, basically anytime we have issues as a couple.

She will say she's still young and she can't take any nonsense in marriage, Mind u i have never hit her before so this isnt a case of domestic violence, just normal couples issue.

I'm tired of this and i'm thinking about my options right now, I want to tell her to leave but she should drop my child for me. she can't use our marriage as a threat everytime we have issues

It simply explained you are a weak man.

And I know you will always beg her

When a woman is surrounded by weak men, she will start acting tough, And when she is surrounded by tough men, she will act soft and very feminine.

Nazgul:
I remembered those days full chicken barbecue used to be 4k.

Point and kill (full cat fish pepper soup) N700.

Stazenbaru (hope I spelt it correctly) beer used to be N100.

If you cannot afford 4k for full chicken barbecue, just buy full catfish N700 and 3 bottles of stazenbaru bringing the total to 1k, and you go de alright.

Tinubu is really making relaxation impossible for the common man. I bought 1kilo of chicken last Sunday for N5,500. It was just one full lap and another small meat they cut to add so that the weight would reach 1kilo. I was just shaking my head.

Things you could just buy those days without breaking a sweat have become luxuries under Tinubu. Yet people are still defending him.

It is the Satzenbrau beer that drew me to your post.

That small bottled beer was a banger for lowkey employment back then.. As far back as 2014.

Buhari scattered this country..God will judge him.

BlocksNG:
Adam & eve. I'll like to see the shape of eve's boobs and to see maybe she's shaved.

Ana akoeri🤣🤣🤣

ufuosman:
No dull moment with dis man 😂

I swear..we are sleeping on him..🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

MMempire:
People asking what the tyres are for, should decode the guy has a car.

How will you expect people with fish brain to decode she got brand new set of tyres for the guy's car..🤣🤣🤣🤣

Some are even saying they are lost..chai Ije uwa.

IGpro1:
One man's meat is another mans poison.

Well, this is a response this thread below.
https://www.nairaland.com/8072106/voicenote-whatsapp-worst-invention

NB* : This thread isn't created for banter or insults, but just to register my disagreement to the other thread.

For those who are busy and multitasking on a job, VN is actually a very important means to send a message across without having to edit, delete and do all that, when you can just open a voice record and say what you need to say and send.

And then if I need to communicate my feeling to the receiver at the other end, VN is the best tool.
Not to mention those who might have lost a limb, how do you expect them to type a lengthy message?.

I so much believe that VN on any platform is a very good invention.

Voice Note on whatsaap is bae.

Mariangeles:
Such a beauty! 😍

As in eeeh...And I wanted to show you this..

Beautiful Akara.

Blossomcresty:
I thought with the kind of hatred u have for Israel,u would have gotten to Gaza since to stop the Invasion.

Savage 🤣🤣🤣

Their is always something cute about two mature humans dating..
Especially with a lady who has advanced.

PointZerom:
I blam£ th0se who tried to train you, they would have given that training to a monk£¥.

Oops...🤣🤣🤣🤣Finishing

Mariangeles:
So, it's Delta here that you cannot board a bus, abi?

Kill the joy🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

tctrills:
What's the matter with you? You come online to judge a lady you don't know just because she did not want you to preach to her or because she had a different topic of interest from you.
Who told you that you are better than her?

That's how religious fanatics behave..😁

If you are not agreeing to what they dish out, they either get upset or quickly judge you..Because you don't do exactly as they wanted.

Karlifate:
No one is more ruthless & unforgiving than a woman when she's cutting off a man she thinks no longer serves a purpose to her. 👌


Anyways, this might be one of Davido's antics to promote the 'Hmmm' song with Chris Brown.

It's not farfetched.

First paragraph so apt!

christejames:
This man and Portable dey the same whatsapp group 😂

no lies...🤣🤣🤣🤣

godofuck231:
Ashawoe de your blood shut-up

🤣🤣🤣

DenreleDave:


We know you are a man, it is just some mischeivous Nigerian women that are jealous of you. You as a man is even more prettier and sexier than them and that is why they are jealous of you.

On behalf of all men in Nigeria, we stand with you as the brotherhood.

Peter Obi son is a gay and he is not hiding it, why should bobrisky an ordinary cross dresser be harassed in this manner?

We love you bob

This is injustice and we will not accept this judgement.

Lol..

Sonnobax15:

This should serve as lesson to every man who feels like he's too strong,that one day he's gonna grow old and weak and be vulnerable before those whom he once oppressed..

This is Fubara taking his dominance from Wike..😂😂

Exceed15:
He knows this one will give him peace.

No doubt.

helinues:
Are there no poverty too in the southern part of Nigeria?

What's Obi's obsession with North lately?

Na where this people dey get the mentality of impressing others while just couldn't do sh.it to develop their home region?

Just like Tinubu🤣🤣🤣