₦airaland Forum

Romeo you have raised some important points that are true and women ca learn from them but not in all cases does it work that way.
Some men just do it no matter how well the woman behaves. Some men even bring women into their homes.
What can women do to stop their husbands from cheating on them in such cases.
And as a man d you say a woman has to endure it.

What a happy ending.
I am so glad you figured this out as one.
May God bless your marriage.

yes I do it happens.
The first time I saw my husband i just said in my mind God thank you this is my husband.
There he was almost two feet talk dark and shy with such a lovely smile on his face.
Everyone said I was crazy getting married again so soon after such a terrible marriage but I knew he was for me.
If I knew before then that I would have met this man I would have waited for him all my life.
Lust was not an issue he never even touched me in fact I started suspecting he might be gay.
Sometimes when it is right it comes so easy and smoothly.

so let`S take it step by step.
You met this man and he had a girl at that time.
You knew and you accepted him.
That is no called two timing.
You accepted the situation then so why do you want him to get rid of the other girl.
Okay plead with him to buy you a car after all both women should be treated equal.

I was breast feeding my baby and my friends daughter sat watching unknown to me the milk was dripping out from the other side.
The 4 year old looked at me quite shocked. Aunty your breast is melting.

You are right outstrip this feeling, intuition is always there to guide us.

Some men are cheats, nothing the wife has to offer can change that. So such men can hardly be changed by a wife. They need to come to the realization.
themselves.
I will not leave my husband if he cheats on me, I told him that before we got married. But I told him there will be no more intimacy because I am not a jealous woman but I am scared of STDs etc.
I don`t understand why women go looking for signs. I have never searched my husband or looked out for signs. I never open his mail never answer his cell nor check it. I don`t search his wallet or other things.


There has t be sme trust and privacy in a marriage too.

jenny my dear, I have a large family, so while I have family living in Nigeria I also have family in Germany. Maybe you can figure that out.
I don`t think that is unheard of. I did not come to Germany with a visa and I did not need a stay for myself or the kids.
So to spell it out I had my pass before leaving the shores of Nigeria.
So now explain to us how you got your EU pass. Normally a student is requested to leave after studying. How did you get an EU pass.
You know you can feed that crap to people who are not aware of the system in Germany.
Just come here and feed lies to people.
Then assuming everyone is a fake like you.
I also did not remarry at an old age. Most of my mates were not even married when I got into my second marriage.
You know you are really cutting your nose to spite your face.
Talk of emancipation.
You insult a woman for walking out of an abusive marriage and getting married again. That is the reason why we women have problems forging ahead.
NOT MEN BUT WOMEN BRING WOMEN DOWN.
You know what life put you through, how you came about your kid. If you are lucky, you might get married one day.
No but from what you write hear, once a woman has a kid or was married she does not need to get married again and should be insulted.
I wonder who is the emancipated woman amongst us.
I am not emancipated but for me it is no issue if a woman has a child outside marriage
or is married to a white man.
You need to learn allot about life.
You are simply primitive , vulgar and absurd.
You make me ashamed to be a woman.

This sometimes happens for no obvious reason at this stage of the pregnancy.
After having pregnancies without problem, i suddenly had three missed abortions one after the other all between the 7and 10 months. In my case I did not even notice that the featus had died off because there was no bleeding. The doctor noticed it in the scan. It always came as a shock and I had to have a d and c each time it was depressing.
Anyway after that I went on to have healthy pregnancies.
Then my doctor put me on mini aspirins to help the blood circulation. I found that weird and did not take them regularly.
After that I still went on to have uncomplicated pregnanies.

Do you believe that my ex sponsored my trip abroad?
Certainly not.
I was able to come to Germany and live here with the help of my family too.
Now why would you imagine a woman just gets up and leaves for Germany with kids. You must have the sense to know I must have some connections here.
I studied in Nigeria, worked there too, but as you see, I do not operate on your frequency.
While I admire the fact that you used all methods possible, to get to Germany, maybe even fled hear when you did not have a valid stay. you do not have to be bitter that I did not cross that road.
just accept the fact that we did not cross the same roads. I did not have to serve myself to white men and if you did I do not condemn you for it. I guess you did what you had to to get what you wanted then.
I hope you now live a decent life.
I do not need to provide you with all the details, might as well give you my name and Tel.nr here

jenny darling,
sorry to disappoint you. I am not married to a white man. I never had a white man as friend, ever.
To be sincere with you I do not find them attractive and I am just so much in Love with black to do that.
If you must know, my husband was doing a second degree here when we met and it was clear to us the first day that we wanted to get married.
We met on his campus and I invited him home for a real traditional meal. He was so impressed with my behaviour, a  good meal with water to wash hands etc.  and how my kids were raised that he picked interest.
I did have my reserves and asked him along the way why he would want to marry a me, because he had never been married although six years older than me.
He said he felt comfortable with it because he knew that in the past years I had been in a mans house and not roaming. He also appreciated that I knew what was expected of a wife.
In our years of marriage we have never had a real fight, never separated, never involved outsiders in our issues. He treats all the kids the same. I think it works out too because he is God fearing and very disciplined.
I really wish every woman such happiness.
So what about you.? Don`t tell me you are one of these ladies that came here on call of duty
Quite honestly, I did not even expect you to come up with such things.You know the fact that you suspect, that I did not go to school here and that I must have needed a white man says allot about you.
MY dear I did not need a visa or a man to marry for paper, when I came to Germany.

2makesence
are you quoting me there?
Now I can`t remember but that does not sound like me.

sorry Jenny I have to confess that your german stinks, not exactly what one learns on a campus.
I never doubted you lived in Germany. only what you did there.
Godess you need to have learnt a language to speak it.
Work on yourself, your language is Ghetto language and not befitting of a woman with class.
I really have a problem with women who do not have pride in being a woman, words are like fruits that help one recognise the tree.

You have done your part.
You did the right thing.
Just give her time to come around. At least she made a step.
I must admit she is hard. I think one should be forgiving and show more love to younger ones.
Just be patient and do the right thing- you will soon be out of there.
Ask your boyfriend to be patient about the situation.
Don`T worry, he will respect you for this, even if he is angry and embarrassed now.
At least it shows you know how to deal with family and believe me this always comes up in marriages,
Family can be very detrimental to a marriage if not handled properly.

If you have kids of your own you will realise that they are not robots and are sometimes hard to control.
It is easier to see faults in other peoples children.
When your own child does it you think it is cute.
When it is another womans child you label the child a spoilt brat.
Raising kids is an issue no two people will ever fully agree on

Mr. Cork she rather not engage in a physical battle, I have 6 soldiers at my back

Jenny, applause I can see you attended some hours of Goethe

So please ein Betrüger
                eine Betrügerin

Sure you learnt the der , die , dass, ein, eine but what comes after that.
Sorry I have no urge to write German, don`t worry about spoiling the thread, just prove you speak the language, then we can continue from there.
Quite honestly. I can back everything I write about myself here with proof. I hope you can do the same.
Quit abuse and deliver facts.
Godess as a single woman you have my respect, I have never written otherwise.
But you really should learn some manners aso you don`t raise your kid with this language you use here.

Sorry you miss read me. Not at all.
The middle way is the best way. It is difficult to put everything one has to say in a thread, but if one asks questions, one can begin to understand even if not agree.
IF for instance I make a comment like I will rather stay with an abusive man than expose my kids to poverty, one needs to know the reason.
When my daughter had her period for the first time I shed tears, knowing she was a woman and thinking of all the pains a woman goes through. If I am ready to live in poverty and sell groundnuts like someone suggested, how do I have a guarantee that my daughters will not get carried away to follow men for money?
How will I afford them a good education which is a guarantee away from poverty. Good schools in Nigeria today cost money.
In this thread the woman said she had decided to stay because she could not afford to leave and I was of the opinion that no one should blame her.
She has her reasons for doing that.
Staying with an abusive man has it`s own disadvantages too apart from the abuse. I ask myself today if having an abusive father attracts women to abusive men or makes them tolerate it. Noone wants the kids growing up in a battle field.
This is a two edged sword.

Abeg O not that area I am still breast feeding

du bist also ein Betrüger habe ich fast gedacht.
Schreib doch was.

Jenny you have the option to show your German skills here.
Where did you study. Answer the question.
What does the money for a visa have to do with this topic.
Anyway just for info, the Visa requirements depend on which country you come from.
So don`t forget there are Nigerians that have EU pass and do not need to have this.

Godess stop putting words in my mouth.
I said I have the greatest respect for single mothers, raising kids on their own.
That is a difficult task, being mother and father to a child.
Any woman that can cope has my highest respect, even more respect  than a married woman.
Do you know what it is to bring a child into the world with no man to stand by you. The pains and tears.
When the baby does not sleep through at night and later when the kid is growing up.
In this case the man is to blame for abandoning the child.
Anyway just for info. I am against abortion. It is a sin. However I do not judge any woman that opts for it.

http://www.study-in-germany.de/english/1.120.320.3.html

Jenny nur für dich!
So, wo genau hast du in Deutschland studiert?
Wir können uns doch in deutsch austauschen, oder nicht?

miss toch
I certainly was lucky to find a man that fitted my needs as a woman.
In a home it is important to respect the man, that rubs off on the kids as well. I can do anything that is not detrimental to my family, one I clear it with my husband. The same law applies to my kids. My husband too takes us into consideration when making his plans.Thats how it runs here. Serious issues are discussed by us privately and we call in the kids and confront them with one voice. For this purpose we have our regular meetings, where issues are discussed and everyone even the kids can voice themselves. The last meeting was a real argument because the kids wanted an increase in pocket money. While my husband was against it the kids with me on their side got the "bill"passed.
I do not think that the ills in our society are caused only by women, bring up the appropriate topic and you will see my views.
MY husband helps in the housework and so do my kids. He also cooks sometimes and helps with the kids.
However I thank him for his help and I do not see it as his obligation. He does it to relive me of the burden.
Besides I have grown kids now that can do about everything in the house because I trained them that way. So that is no longer an issue here.
Pursue your dreams and your career, but when you have kids you need to have time for them.
Which means working less hours when the kids are younger. Even now they are older i still need allot of tie with them for their homework and other activities.

Jenny, and Godess.
You need to quote me or reference the thread where I said such things.
You are putting words into mouth.
I do not think we can trash out all threads in one thread.
Open the threads and we can continue from there and anyone interested can question me there on y views.
We do not all need to have the same opinion in life.
I certainly can never say that all single women are prostitutes that would be absurd.

i never said men in Europe do not go to school.
I said that in Germany very few Nigerians study here. In America and the UK it is different.
I still claim that you need to have A levels to study in Germany. Apart from that you need the language certificate.
Please where did you study and did you get a degree. I can look it up and see the requirements.
Then we ca link it up for all Nairalanders to see.
Another option apart from A levels is having a further education.
I do not have a levels but because I had studied in Nigeria, I was able to take up studies and schooling here.
I guess you know that everyone can check this up in the internet today.

Women build nations from the kitchen.
The kitchen is the core of the home.
You first have to secure the inside before securing the outside.
I am not for women not working. Indeed women should work and help support financially.
However when children are involved the couple has to decide how to organise their working hours so that the children get attention.
It is about having a healthy balance.
I also earn money and I would find it unfair to saddle my husband with the whole burden.
However my money goes into the family.
Actually my husband runs the accounts, pays the bills and does the shopping. . At the end of the month the kids get their pocket money and I get my allowance to do just what I want with.

we made love in Nigeria to a thing for the rich.
Infact we have made life to a thing for the rich.
Look at how much is spent on weddings?Society weddings are good if we can afford them, but not everyone should be having one.
Ridiculous demands, money and more money.
The sad thing is that the couple could have used the money to set up home.
Recently I promised to assist in the shopping for a first baby. The list the young lady made was amazing. For someone who cannot afford it requesting things I never even dreamt of getting for my kids, ridiculous things that are really a luxury.
Why can`t we just be ourselves? Why is everything about being as good as the jack or Jill.
Why must a young man have to spend so much on a woman?

This little brat is a mature woman
So how am I pissing you off?
You actually should be apologising to yourself for you ladylike display here.
Talk about letting ones self down.
Just some words of advice from me- refrain from abusive language, it is not ladylike

women should educate themselves as far as possible. However there is so much more a woman needs to learn about the qualities that make a woman.
What does studying have to do with prostitution?
Granted that the whole system is to blame for the terrible conditions that prevail in Nigeria but women build a nation.
We need as women to learn the true qualities that a woman needs in life.
The fact is that most women do not know how to maintain their homes. Most Nigerian women are rather untidy even dirty. Many of them have unrealistic demands financially. Do not  know how to manage the family finances. Spend unusual sums of money on cloths and hair without regard to the family needs. Do not have time for the kids or to do basic things with their kids. The nannies are being maltreated, while they actually carry out duties that a mother should carry out.
We need to change our way of thinking

2makesence and moi.
shame on you.
Another trait, getting loud and abusive when faced with unpleasant truth.

old women get uneasy when dry bones are mentioned

There must be something true about this proverb.
No I think one should change it to:

old women get abusive when dr bones are mentioned

Yes Prostitution at it`s best.´
IT all starts earlier on.
The campuses are the biggest brothels in Nigeria.

The truth hurts but it will set us free. We should finally face it in the eye.

Godess do you realise that some women at your age are already Grandmothers?
You want her to start a family with a young man.
How does it look with kids? Even if all works well, she needs about 4 year for two kids, will she have hit menopause b then?
A woman needs a man who is mature and can maintain her.
This young man will just use her, and dump her or keep her by the side as the cow to milk.
Use her money on younger girls