₦airaland Forum

When a woman desires a child it starts to take control of her life and to define her life.
You are constantly reminded of your childlessness.
You see your friends with kids. People talk about kids. You just keep being reminded.
In Africa you have the extra fear that your husband will take another wife.
A woman can go to almost any extent to get a child.
It is a deep pain. If you haven't felt it you wouldn't understand.
You cry when your periods come.
You start hoping for the next circle for another chance. There are times you don't even want to move around the time your period should come because you believe that maybe that way your period wouldn't come.
You are afraid to tell.your husband that your period came...
The list is long�

If she really wants to help you why adoption?
She can foster the child and help you.
It is wrong to desire to adopt a child that the mother still wants .
That person does not have your child's interest at hand.
A child has a right to know their adopted parents.

ZINIBANKS:
I greet you ma
The great ancestor of nairaland
My respect

I am glad to be back�.
Challanges in my life kept me away.
But this platform is as awesome as ever!

You are a man.
Please act like one.
Today one can get married in a registry.
With time her parents have to come around.
Allot of inter tribal marriages. I am in one myself for over 23 years. We do not even have the same religion.
If your love is strong enough you can take the leap.

You mum is one hell of a jealous woman!
We women don't like letting go of our son's but your mother's case is extreme.
You better set the boundaries right now because she will break up yout marriage if ever you have one.
You are a man. Take your own decisions. You don't have to justify your choice to your mother.

Honestly at that age after your youth service you should be old enough to visit friends and spend the night.
However, you have finished your youth service what stops him from proposing?
My dear don't be left behind when the marriage wind blows.
If he is not ready let him keep his distance so that serious men can come forward.

My daughter is a big fan of Okocha!
She watches all his videos and tries to learn his techniques.

Obviously a very dubious man fromnall that I read here.
Not surprising.
His thirst for publicity is quite frightening.

It is very wrong to hit or flog a child.
It is even more wrong to justify it with the bible.
Some of us just take one text from the bible and read it in isolation.

I grew un in Nigeria and it was the most natural thing to hit a child.
However after some years and allot of reflection i changed my views about hitting children.
It is child abuse.
Kindly watch my video on this topic��

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INZVY06e_OQ

I have an 8 year old son who was diagnosed as autistic and mentally handicapped at age 3.
He didn't talk till age 5 plus.
However now he is on a regular schol and his IQ is above average.
It was a long battle.
Please start by using the teaching aids that interest him.
People criticised me for letting him so long on the computer but that was the way i was able to reach him initially.
I have made a video where I spoke about my journey.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mqUuN5-Q2I

It's very important that the girl agrees to a low profile wedding otherwise she might have regrets later in life and feel she is missing out on something.

This Article is very sad because uou fail to give credit to wjom credit is due.
Ogbonigwe was the creation of Engr. EDMUND KAINE.

Do Your research.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOZN8Ez8ViI

Lets support him by sharing. Shy but a great voice.

@ poster...A big hug and lots of love from me.
I know just how you feel. TLC I used that so often myself. Some men just don't know how to send that across. They may love but not much comes across.
Being a mother and coping with kid's alone is a tremendous task and it saps one too.
Sometimes we women just need to feel loved and appreciated
. It helps us cope.
Don't go down on your standard. Every woman needs love.

Ayolight there is need for the plans to be more concrete I sincerely hope that other members cam help you achieve this. That would help matters.

I have no reply since I have not yet forwarded an answer.
It is not so easy.
There are conditions for funds.
That is why I am waiting for for a fixed plan to forward them.
For instance some organisations don't pay for transportation. As soon as there is something concretions will forward it.

My goodness you are too young to be carrying this cross.

Nor quiet but waiting to see where and how I can help. AS SOON as the hospital is clear I can write the organisation 's.
Perhaps they will be willing to transfer money there. It's just that for now there is nothing to be done from this side .

Sorry in real hectic.
Ayolight I think you should still go ahead. We don't have too much time.
I think it might still be possible for organisations to make payments direct to the hospital in India. For now as things look we only have a show of interest and no confirmation. However everything can change. The letter the doctor wrote from India is too informal. It needs to be more official.
.
I think n/ land can also confirm your case. It would make people more confident to contribute.
I am honestly still trying everything possible.
But if if the hospital in India is certain as well as your intention to go there they might make a transfer
I really wish some more people would come up with advice here. It would help. I will keep on giving my best to assist.

Okay I have received it. I will work on it this evening God willing.

Ayo light please also mail me the Doctors name and contact. It has to be a doctor that is treating Light and who is willing to speak to the people here if they have questions.
With that I can fill out the forms for you.

Please you need to send it to me urgently. Also i would need a letter from the doctor that the treatment cannot be done in Nigeria.
As soon as I have that I an send it to the organisations.
Also if you have passports send me copies.
I got a reply from Unicef. They do not handle single cases but they forwarded me to another organisation.
The money is not too much it can be raised.
I am confident. I believe with this cost we can concentrate on India. I think the organisations should have no problem transfering the money to India.

Please send it to me. It would be of great help.
I also just got another form from an organisation. They are willing to make some payment but not all. They have a very long form and I think I need to do the translations for you. Also for the other form from the hospital.
I will try to do that this evening.
Please send me what you have. So I can send it to the organisations as an option. I want to believe that they can also fond an operation done in India.
I think it is also good you let N/L know how high the estimate is so that we all can think of raising funds.

Please Ayolight,
Fill the form in this link
https://www.medizin.uni-tuebingen.de/Patienten/Kliniken/Kinder_+und+Jugendmedizin-p-796/Patienten+Onlineformular.html

It is from the Teaching hospital University of Tübingen. That way they can send a cost estimate. It is in Germen but quite easy to understand. They sent me an email that the form has to be filled for them to reply. The say you can fill it in Englisch and send reports in Englisch.

Copy me any reply they send you so can contact the NGO`s with it. I am still hopeful for other replies, but we need to give them time.
The want your contacts and that of the doctor on the case.

ayolight:
no, he dnt charge us extra.. we ve been discharged and we were billed #5700. she is better nd d cough has subside, though its still dia but not much. madam mutter tnk u so much for ur selfless service. Hw is d boy doing now?

Much better Thanks! I hope I have more news for you after the weekend. Have you tried to find out about the passports, what it would take and how long?
I admire your courage, may God give you strenght. You are a real mother giving all you can for your child! God bless you and the child!.

rProbably sleeping paralysis or another condition.
Don´t sleep on your back. Don`t eat heavy meals at night and don`t sleep with TV or radio on. Try to wind down and don`t watch unpleasant things at night.
When you dream pray and thank God for revealing it to you. If the enemy is revealed you have already won the battle.

I have contacted about three hospitals to give a cost estimate of the treatment.
I also contactedsome other organisations in Germany and some other organisations.
Please I am appealing to everyone to help as they can. God is your strenght Ayolight. Place your daughter in his hands.

Sorry jsut comming in myself my little boy had a bad asthma attack so I had to rush him to the hospital. I will take a look at what you have sent me. Please if the doctor can be so kind and make a write up where you are now it will be good. Hope e doesn`t charge you extra.

Please instead of thinking how to punish him you should be thinking on how to save youself from this agony.
You need to focus all your energy on getting out of his mess.
It`s either he changes for the good and you have the heart to forgive him or he doesn`t.
With kid` you can`t jut get up and leave without planning it. The plans you need to make will at the same time aim you more respect and maybe even save your marriage.
So start trying to make some money of your own. Try to earn some money no matter how small. IT will give you some level of independence and be vey focused on saving. Insist now on getting into a job or biz. Get your family and his to support you. That they will probably do. Please get active. IT is very good for one to identify with something, church or an organization.
As long as you are not sure of his sexual habits abstain or insist he uses a condom.
Focus your energy on building yourself that is the best way to punish him. Punish him with success.
Sorry but that man is mean and heartless. May God touch his heart. He doen`t deserve a wife.

Mostly parent beat children because they have no other means of asserting their authority over a child. However a child should acknowledge your authority without being in fear of a violent attack.
We often make mistakes by starting too late with discipline but by age three a child should clearly be able to identify that it better listen to mum and dad.
Many roads lead to rome but why choose the aggressive road! Growing up it seemed quite natural to beat children but later I came to realize that it was abuse and nothing else.
When my kids do something wrong they are really scared of me because my God I don't stop talking. I can go on for over an hour and might decide to repeat the lecture two times in a day going on for several days
That lecture will include God and man, Bible, proverbs, history and you can just see the agony on the teenagers face when I go on talking and talking and preaching. Especially as they have heard most of it before. It works miracles.
Also you need to give teenagers some amount of freedom and a healthy amount of thrust. We parents think it must always go our way! IT mustn't. Listen to their views and compromise with them. It works miracles. My kids know there are some topics I don't compromise about but i I ask you to clean your room and you tell me you are not in the mood , you want to do it later, then why not! Even adults are sometimes not in the mood. And when it comes to decisions about their future- it is their future and not yours so they also have a say.
Most time we have a problem reaching to our children because they don't thrust us.
I remember once my teenage son came up to me and told me he thought his girlfriend was pregnant!
Inside I was screaming loud!!!!! Oh God ! How could you! How dare you! Are you already intimate with a girl! I could just get up and shake you!
But I had to tie myself down.. keep calm! He confided in you! Don't betray the thrust! Well thank God it ended up being a false alarm but I sat two of them down and gave them a serious talk.
The same applies to girls. The best way to keep a girl decent is to boost her self esteem. Make her know she is a queen and worthy of love and respect. Cater for her financial needs to the best of your ability and show he love so she doesn't go out in search of it.
The greatest factor why children go astray is because they are unhappy at home. Then they go to the wrong friends and feel they have a family and are loved. That is why it is so important that children have a happy home, a home where there is peace and they always want to come back to.
Love your kids that is what they need above all else and express that love. Also learn to have fun with your kid`s, laugh crack jokes do things together. You looses some of the "respect" but you gain something special. A child that thrust you .
And most importantly, when a child has done something really wrong! When it has fallen into the well... then help the child out and give love , support and understanding they will respect you more for it.
Some parents really go crazy when the child has committed something serious. The child is in big problem and then you add to it. Where does the child find shelter. That is the time to show the child love and support it to stand up and walk proud.

mum2bsoon:
God will tk care of ur needs 2 mutter, He shall all ur desires in Jesus name. Thanks so much
Ayolight, the Lord will preserve n heal Light in Jesus name. U shall nt labour in vain.

Amen! Just lets pray that God will make a way. Please Ayolight send me the medical documents so that I can start sending them to hospitals here to get a a cost analyisis because this is what the organisations need to know.
If these organisations agree to help we might have to contact another organisation to fly her in safely with medical care on the flight if need be.