₦airaland Forum

mutter:
I have an 8 year old son who was diagnosed as autistic and mentally handicapped at age 3.
He didn't talk till age 5 plus.
However now he is on a regular schol and his IQ is above average.
It was a long battle.
Please start by using the teaching aids that interest him.
People criticised me for letting him so long on the computer but that was the way i was able to reach him initially.
I have made a video where I spoke about my journey.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mqUuN5-Q2I

All the therapies in the world may help somewhat but your child only can have a limited amount of therapy in a week.
Prayer helps.
I prayed and prayed but at the end of the day you have to do it yourself.
Small steps every day. Pick one thing and work on it till the child can learn it.
The more they learn the faster they learn.
Even if it starts with saying "yes" and you habe to work on that for days.
It took me over a month to learn how to count objects fro 1 to ten. To cordinate counting with pointing at the objects.
Even counting fingers by having a fist and opening each finger as you count took days.
But we counted everything. Cars on the road, sugar cubes and wverytime he gets it I would laugh and uug him and clap.
That motivated him.
My son was declared mentally handicapped, then well below average, then barely average, the last test was above average.
I put him in play groups and activities with normal kids. It was difficult initially but the more contact with normal kids the more they learn.
Miracles do happen bit sometimes they are a gradual process. Focus on the little successes.
Focus on attaining one milestone after the ither on a journey.
My journey is still in process. While my son is now quite fit academically children still notice that something is different.
He still has these phases when he starts like a whirlwind making repeated movements. Infact last night a 11 i was woken up to the sound of him making his rotations in he living room. I had to send him back to bed.
He still talks somewhat awkwardly He has a different way of seeing things.
He describes everything now in percentage and leves.
The pain is 35 %. She scratched me 3 %.
I went to the 2nd level of my dream.
So my major focus is on making him just " normal enough" that he can make it through life without being denied his rights.
School as much as he can and be able to make socially contact.
Buttom line.please don't wast time and money on false promises from preaching. Trust in God and allow God to use you as a medium to help the child. Also explore all therapies that are available but they only work if you also adapt the methods use st home.

AfroKnight:
What you want to do is what they call long journey.

Ratifying traditional marriages would make marriage covenants customisable. The conditions would change from LG to LG. Better to have one “official” form of marriage with it’s fixed set of laws.

If she wants that security she must get married in court. If the groom disagrees, then she can call the wedding off.

What I want is already existing.
It just needs to be documented at the LG more frequently. It is erroneous to believe that a court marriage is superior to a customary marriage

It is not that we didn't think about it but the fact is that in our time and our parents time it was an abomination!
If you did that you might not even be buried on the land. So that hindered us.
Futhermore there was a better social network and conditions were not so bad and the gap in society wasn't that large.
Also the crazy thing is that when almost everyone is experiencing the same issues you believe it is normal.
I am in my mid 50s now....I think that it was in my generation that there was more exposure to the outside world and more disparity in the raising of kids, education and class ...around this period mental issues started cropping up more frequently.
I have done a video on this.
Now that I am older I want to start focusing on bteaking the silence to help the younger generation. I hope you this video is of some help.
I will keep sharing it to raise more awareness .
One out of every four persons has mental health issues.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQ9Jd1HK04c

AfroKnight:
What you mean is you’d like to see a wife sue her husband for bigamy.


I understand why guys are running away from court wedding. Naija babes have shown us that marriage certificates can be weaponised against the man outside naija.

I would however choose court wedding because I don’t like messy arrangements. I like to do things properly.

No. What I mean is that it is that the Judge himself believes that law is crap.
I am all for protection of women.
Polygamy is recognised in Nigeria.
Any woman that marries a man traditionally should have the security of knowing she is in a valid marriage. It would not be right for one woman to try and oust the other based on a marriage certificate introduced by colonial powers.

Great job.
This is so important in society..ensuring the dead are given a dignified farewell.

Please don't be depressed. Allot of if teachers are going through the same.
Infact even as you came here as a new member be sure that there are many teachers on board here going through the same issues.
Also allot of members here in financial need.
There are jobs that may not be so dignifying that you can do to earn yourself some money.
Start with lesssons I dont know how your landlord can object if you invite just a few children at a time. Even if it means inviting 5 or 6 children.
You can even go to the childrens homes and give lessons.
Go to the job sectìon and advertise you are looking for a job.
Eevn if it means doing cleaning or washimg cloths it is a solution.

Two abusers...
What a perfect match.

To be honest..
You are both wierd
How many prophesies did you need to date him.
Now his parents have beaten you with your own weapon.
How will you ask him not to listen to his parent's prophets, when you listened to your own?
You actually believe you are the reason for his good luck!
Well also believe his parents prophets since you are a BELIEVER!

HantaVirus:
The court marriage protects both the man and woman but especially the woman. Some Nigerian men can be very polygamous in nature but the law states that if you practice bigamy, the punishment is 5-year imprisonment. So your partner needs to get a divorce before getting married to someone else !

I'd like to see a court in Nigeria enforce this.
We should focus on makimg better marriages

It's just that I dont understand how child rearing can be boring?

SHE who must be obeyed.

Sadly only too many of us have permanent scars.
These scare have affected us physically and mentally.
The hardest part of it is that we didn't even realise that we were being traumatized .
Even when we did or do we can't deal with those traumas.
This leads to mental challenges like panic attacks, depression. You can even have pysical challanges. Asthma and some other sickness are aggravated by traumas and stress.
These scars from childhood often define our adulthood.
We need to break the silence and talk about such things.
I did and I can tell you since I made this video, my family has avoided calling me to talk on it.
Through my videos I therapy myself also.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQ9Jd1HK04c

Please take the advice and send him for rehabilitation.
It is not too late.
He can overcome his addiction.
I

Bluish44:
you are just looking for excuses for her as a fellow sentimental female..u have zero point

I think that is a bit unfair...
Besides being sentimental is not bad...i mean as a woman

Like many Christians I was constantly reading and quoting sections in the bible.
Somewhere along the line I did a course in Theology and I went back to read my bible with a better understanding.
Many women don't know what submission means and why they should submit to a man.
They have real issues with submission.
So too it is not quite understood that the man has a much higher obligation imposed on him than the woman. He has to protect her with his life.
I have made a video on this and I'd be glad of you watch and comment...and perhaps this will lead a few women to submit with purpose.
This advice is also compatable to other religions.
We need to save the marriage institution!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJZT2eTTRoQ

Wooh I read this and really went down memory lane.
Indeed we had some really rollercoast rides here.
I guess most people just got overwhelmed with their responsibilities .
We grew older and wiser and some have gone home.
Mamaput ask Mutter��

ifyalways:
Pataki still comes around . . .
I miss AJ baby and i hope she shows face this december..
You forgot Becomrich and Kobojunkie

Mamaput ask Mutter��

There is allot about sex that a woman does not know at 20s.
Even older women and married women have questions about sex.
Why don't you ask your mother questions and see how she responds
In this age the youth are more free to ask than in my time.

rhemauni:
Lol

Go and try the street u will get sense and stay humble after that

Experience is a good teacher

I can't add to this.
Precisely!

That would be a reason to end the marriage.
This marriage wouldn't lead anywhere.
But you need to find out her reasons...
Perhaps the body chemistry is not there, maybe she doesn't like men. Perhaps she has a physical or emotional condition.
If she can open up then maybe one can find a solution.
If not ...you are just going to end up being denied.
Sex is so important in a marriage. That is the simple truth.
Often one partner may not be in the mood or may be tired but the desire to please the other partner can allow them to give it a shot...once you start and the attraction is there it just flows.

The man is obviously married or in a serious relationship.
That is why he goes under over the weekend.
Please be proud and dignified enough to cut it off.
He doesn't want you.

Let me point out some things...
The husband is never around but at the same time frowns at her customers.
The husband only gives her money every two three days. That is very often.
The husband can't pay the rent.
The husband was a loving man prior to marriage.
Both parties are complaining....

It's obvious that the marriage has gone wrong.
The man and just not the woman are just hanging on.
Often marriages go wrong because of some basic things like respect, tolerance and submission.
That's why a woman makes a home...
She leads the marriage in the sence that she often dictates the tone. If she dictates a respectful and submissive tone the man often will follow suit and head his home like is expected of him.
That a man cannot pay his rent does not make him less a man.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJZT2eTTRoQ

Please keep out of it.
This is something you are not in a position to solve.
Talk to elderly family members to intervane and stay neutral

Talk to someone that has experienced the pain of loosing one or more children or a sibling to sicle cell and then return and ask this question�

usecondom:
Oh wow, so a girl child is only good for man to take to alter and then marry and that means all her dreams has been fulfilled?

No but a girl or a boy child should not go into relationships without intention to commit themselves.
Sorry but I am against - just for fun- relationships.
I have grown up daughters.
After spending not just money but all effort to educate my daughters one young man should come and dance atilogwu in her life!
I expect the .an to introduce himself to the family so we see the relationship has decent intentions.
Then one can date, get engaged all over a period of time.
Same my sons do with their girlfriends. They introduce themselves to the family.
Then someday God willing it can lead to marriage.

These days it is more important than ever for a children to learn how to do everything at home.
The era of househelp is comming to an end.

RTSC:
A 22 year old girl cannot spend the night outside her parents house in any responsible household.

Certainly not.
Remember she lied to her parents that she was wanted to visit a girl.
So i was referring to that reason and not going to a man.

usecondom:
So, after service what's next is marriage? No wonder men don't respect ladies in Nigeria. What happens to her dreams and career?

quote author=mutter post=92863320]Honestly at that age after your youth service you should be old enough to visit friends and spend the night.
However, you have finished your youth service what stops him from proposing?
My dear don't be left behind when the marriage wind blows.
If he is not ready let him keep his distance so that serious men can come forward.

No she should go in for a relationship with a man who doesn't want commitment.
Is that what you would prefer

I have this condition and it is hell!
Despite pain management and constant medication there are set backs every now and then.
No known cure really.
I habe noticed that emotional stress or pain aggravates it.

Do you realise you might have mental health issues!
According to studies one out of four persons is affected.
Most times we don't even realise it, even when we know something is wrong. We are told by family and friends to pray more. We are told it is the work of enemies.
The ignorance, stigma and shaming surrounding mental health makes most people suffer for years without adequate help, sometimes even leading to suicide.
In this video I have shared my painful experience on this journey. The ignorance, the fear of exposure and the road to healing.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQ9Jd1HK04c

I am sorry. I can't really relate with this type of prosperity preaching.
A man and woman must determine what works best for them.
We women should respect each other's choices and priorities.
The only cement and bricks I buy are my children's future and education...unfortunately I can't write a cheque for 1 million for my husband.. we can't all be rich and I have no regrets about that.
It is this kind of preaching that makes people desperate to seek money at all costs.
In whatever situation we find ourselves we have to make the best out of it.
Housewives are not failures, they are keeping their home .
Every woman should be a house wife at one period or the other.
Dosent mean she is going to be a housewife all the time.
Perhaps the couple might deceide that the mother should be with the kid's when they are younger and in the formative years.
There is an enormous gain when there are two incomes but there is also an enormous gain when a mother is at home for the kid's.
The dilema of being a mother.
You can't give 100 percent at work and at home. It is a constant joggling.