chaddy16:
I can't judge anyone anymore. Just do all you can to succeed as long as it does not affect anyone indirectly or directly. Congratulations to you Jay. Nice body

But if you're a believer and follower of Christ, you're meant to judge according to the word/wisdom of God.

1Cor.6.2 - Do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world will be judged by you, are you unworthy to judge the smallest matters?
1Cor.6.3 - Do you not know that we shall judge angels? How much more, things that pertain to this life?
1Cor.6.4 - If then you have judgments concerning things pertaining to this life, do you appoint those who are least esteemed by the church to judge?

1Cor.6.5 - I say this to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you, not even one, who will be able to judge between his brethren?

generationz:


Mammon is an idol same as gods of the land. You must give to ceaser what belongs to Ceasar to be a traditional ruler if you refuse then you must be ready to battle power for power till Gods power prevails.

Mammon is the god of money/wealth.
God is not against kingdoms. Is the Monarchy in UK mammon?
It is quite issue if he worships the gods of the land. But clearly he has established that he worships and serves the Almighty God.

generationz:

No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon [money, possessions, fame, status, or whatever is valued more than the Lord. Matthew 6 vs 24 to 26.

Can you please relate this with the topic?
How does being a king equate to serving Mammon?
By inference, a believer should not be a politician.

MSN1:
One big lesson this year taught me was UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

A lot of people make the mistake of sidling people, tagging them enemies, but I will tell u guys freely that; THE BEST PEOPLE THAT STOOD BY ME ALL THROUGH, WERE THOSE THAT I NEVER EXPECTED OR THOUGHT THEY LIKED ME.

I*f you must have squad, BE VERY VIGLANT.
*If you have friends, TEST THEM TO KNOW, WHO IS REAL.
*If you must live life peacefully, search and know those that love you UNCONDITIONALLY.

--Pretend sometimes, in order to know who gat u---

One thing I MUST do in 2024 (God's willing) is to; pass through it quietly, devoid of squad or unecessary closeness.

The very people that will show you shege when things relapses, are those you can NEVER expect.

NA SQUAD KILL JESUS.

STREET NOR GET MEMORY.

A BLINK OF EYE, IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE.

Now playing Billing by Spyro ft Davido.
I'm happy for you. Your eyes have open.
Truth is do what you can to assist people but don't expect them to reciprocate.
We all need people but not squads. Just the right circle of people across age, gender, profession.
And you may need to test their loyalty in little things.

But most importantly, and I'm glad you figured this out yourself, please determine to do 2024 solo.
And spend it building a relationship with God to Know who you are in Christ and rededicate your life to Him.
Every thing begins to fall in place for you.
The right effects of people will qlso start coming your way.

Note: You will like wise meet evil people in churches cos most Nigerians as evil as we are, we belong to a church or mosque. So don't go there for friendship either. Go there to know Christ and build a relationship with God through the Holy Spirir. Please ensure you're baptised in the Holy Spirit.
There's so much about life that starts making sense to you once that journey is started.

Seek ye first rhe kingdom of God and His righteousness, all other things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33

God bless you and have a favored 2024.

AbuTwins:


How many people need that?

Those who need it know themselves.

Ms202309:
Soun throne is a pretty decent royalty and dynasty, Ogbomosho isn't fetish , it's just like a political leadership

Says who?
All our traditional kingdoms are fetish and entrenched in the old religions.

However when God remembers a land, he appoints men after his heart to rule the kingdoms in Spirit and Truth. Through Pastor Olaoyr, Ogbomosho has and will see the light of Christ overcome every darkness and the powers that have kept the souls of men bondage for ages.

It is a great new era for the Yoruba kingdom and by God's grace the rest of Nigeria. Hallelujah!

Theopneustos:
Good nairalanders
Please how do you handle a situation where you have a senior colleague in your workplace that has a clique that supports her secret acts that are contrary to the workplace do's and donts.
In addition to that tries to discredit you before the MD because you don't join her clique.
Is It to report her to the MD or let it slide?
She's so toxic but pretends a lot before the boss

It depends on how influential the senior staff is and your organisational structure.
As a subordinate to her, do not overstep your boundary.

Find a way of addressing the issue with your boss. Don't make it personal.
What secret acts is she engaging in?
Are you sure your boss is not also compromised?
Depending on the impact of her secret acts affects the job and the office atmosphere.

Finally, it's OK not to join a clique but you have to be sure you're on top of your game and stay loyal to your organisation.
In case your boss is like wise compromised, you may need to start looking for a better job before whatever their doing backfires, as it always does.
You can send an situation report to your HR when thr timing is right.

AbuTwins:
Miracles, breakthrough and prosperity! What next?

Salvation.

Seek the LORD while He may be found, Call upon Him while He is near.
Let the wicked forsake his way, And the unrighteous man his thoughts; Let him return to the LORD, And He will have mercy on him; And to our God, For He will abundantly pardon. Isaiah 55:6-7

For every thing, there's time. God works with times and seasons.
I hope this encourages you who need to hear this. Here's my testimony.

About this time last year, I was depressed. I had backslided for 3 whole years- spiritually, emotionally, socially and financially I was a mess.
I hated my job, hated my co-workers, hated that I was still unmarried and not yet successful. Basically I hated every thing about myself.

Alcohol had become my addiction.
Every morning I needed a bottle of whatever spirit I could get. Mid-day I needed to refuel once it started wearing off. And of course I needed a night-cap to get me through the night. I had sold my car so I could fund my addictions.

Unfortunately my system was also giving way. I drank so much my liver was getting damaged. As much as I wanted to drink, my system could not take it any more. I knew I was dying.

I was a foundation class teacher before I backslided, I knew what it means to be spiritually dead and that it was only a matter of time before I would be physically dead with the lifestyle I was keeping.

I had tried to return to God but to no avail. I had gone to various church programs to be healed and to be delivered but after a few days my addictions would kicked in again. My colleagues made matters worse. I couldn't stand my colleagues any more but didn't want to quit till I got another job or my japa-hustle clicked. Long story short, I had given up. I thought God had given up on me cos scripturally it is impossible for one who has once encountered christ and became an apostate to be restored. Heb 6:4-6

But just when I had given up, about this time last year, while drunk as usually and strolling to find a road side food for dinner, a street neighbour invited me to join him for bible study. And for some reason I agreed and followed him. It was a small church nearby. The pastor's message was about open doors- things we did that gave demons right over us. It sounded interesting. But what won me over was his genuine interest in me. He practically focused on me and even though I didn't want to be seen, he found a way of getting me to ask questions which he provided answer to even though I didn't agree with it all, his sincere interest really won me over. Then after the service he'd call to check up on me and pray for me as well.

I knew then that God had remembered me. So I rededicated my life to Christ at the cross-over service.
It was not easy but I knew the sacrifices I had to make and I knew I needed the real relationship with God and not just the religion.
And God granted me answers to my prayers.
I was able to quit my addictions- alcohol, sex, etc
Depression was gone and replaced by hope in God and an inexplicable peace and Joy.
By April, I had received perfect health as if I had been given brand new heart, liver and other organs. Even an STI was completely healed just like that.

I was hoping God would help me secure a new job but instead he kept me there- the same work and people I hated became my training field. I began to love my job because God was building me through it. And began to love my colleagues because I saw the role each one was knowingly or unknowingly playing in my spiritual, emotional and professional growth. I didn't and still don't like all of them but I love them in their unique qays. And by October, I became certified associate project manager, sponsored by the organisation.

It's amazing what God has done for me this year 2023. I cant imagine doing this year without Jesus Christ.
This was supposed to be my worst year and I actually feared I might not make it to see my birthday this year. But God turned my story around.
With all the turbulence in Nigeria, God created a Goshen for me and I can only imagine how many more people have this same experience this year as well.

Year 2024 is another year to renew our relationship with God. One of the things I learnt through this all is that there are times and seasons God can easily be found. End of the Year is one of such times. Desperately and humbly seek to know God and follow Jesus Christ. Cast all your burdens on him. Do not let the online jamboree and fake life distract your. Do not let family and peer pressure push you into depression and making decisions you will regret yet again in 2024.

I pray God gives us the Right Heart to Seek Him and that God gives us the Faith to receive and believe Him. And I pray that as we keep seeking Him, we will come to find him and know him personally and experiencially, singing of His faithfulness through our own testimonies in Jesus name. Amen.

But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.
Hebrew 11:6

IJAWyouths11:
Iyabo ojo talks too much, she brought this to herself

May God give our women wisdom.
You see that thing called wisdom? It's too priceless.
Iyabo Ojo will have to learn and unfortunately she'll learn the hard way- 500 million naira on top of the already existing lagos state fine?
Hope her new flame has enough money.

L1TTLE:
She brazenly told me "I have a 5yr old son", before she did I was crushing hard, then she told me she has a son today, I was taken aback for a while but much to my shock, I find her more attractive now? Instead of getting repulsed by the new information I want her more now, is it weird? Lol, I'm even thinking she can bring her son and live with me like we're family.

Please advise me.

She's honest with you upfront. Good.
If you love her and you can handle the responsibilities, marry her, don't make the mistake of co-habiting without doing the needful.

Queendiamond398:
My husband prefers been busy on his phone with his numerous exes, divorcee and single ladies than gisting with me if we are together, i have always want him to have peace of mind but it seems he doesnt think of that about me

Am begining to find peace gisting with his friend anytime he comes to visit, some persons may say i saw the handwriting on the wall before i married him,Hell NO! .He succeded in making me chase all my friend both male and female away but now have numerous to chat with and laugh and please himself.

He thinks his smart but i pity him, is just my home training that is limiting me to do some kind of evil things ,we will go for party or club he will leave me and go and be sitting in midst of other ladies, while some men will come and sit with me and making advances at me and he doesnt know. Some of his friends that are as useless as him and come with their wives or Fiance doesnt know young and energetic men do have quickie with their wives at the rest room

My religion and the way i value my body can't make me to stooop so low to do all those things but why will a man choose to neglect the wive to be dieing of boredom .

Because of lack of attention my Male Colleagues always try to take advantage of that and be chatting with me till midnight without him even seeing it.

We lived in a separate room that this his attitude can make someone to be cheating without him knowing but i dont want to do that Please someone should help me out
Please am dieing slowly i have confronted him so many times but he will tell me i dont have the right to tell him what to do

You're a child of God who married a child of the world.
You're both unequally yoked.
But You're married already, divorce is not the best option.
1. Re-educate your life to Christ.
2. Invite Christ to be Head of your marriage and home.
3. See marriage counsellor in your church.
4. The rest the Holy Spirit himself will guide you.

It's your cross to carry so now is a good time to start. Do it for your children especially.

Curiouscity:
Why do Nigerians expect things to change, yet we still do things the old way?

Someone just sent me a link for one of the states' organized Entrepreneurship Accelerator Programme (EAP). A quick look at the form, I noticed that the request the following:
* Marital Status
* Number of Children / age of children
* Religion and Denomination

What on earth is the usefulness of these information for a training program?

This is also of all employers in Nigeria. In fact, most CV (resumè) formats in Nigerian public and private sectors have space for above information. Please What is the usefulness of these usefulness information?

1. Marital status is important for the Employer because your level of commitment is directly or indirectly commensurate with the level of responsibilities you shoulder.
Some jobs are more suitable for singles who can afford to resume early, work late, travel etc.
Some jobs are more suitable for married people.
Some jobs are suitable for everyone regardless of marital status.
Most companies prefer their staff married because in most cases singles can easily quit/resign while married people can't easily decide to quit for fear of bills at home.

2. Number of Children / Age of children also shows your level of commitment due to responsibilities you shoulder and sacrifices you can afford to make. A nursing mother can't possible leave her children for a job that involves traveling. Also this determines how much maternity leave the company will be exposed to if newly weds.

3. Religion clearly will affect you ability to get along with you co-staff. Extremists will definitely find it difficult to work in certain work environments.

Hope you now see why each of these fields is important. Although contemporary companies that don't demand these have mechanisms in place to protect themselves.

Asceleb16:
As a matured guy or lady, do you see anything wrong in a guy dating a taller lady or a lady dating a shorter guy Have you ever done such? How was the relationship?
Share your opinion and experience.

Obviously some one is going to be taller. The issue is the difference should not be awkward. I hear sexually it can be awkward.
Typically most short girls tend to be offensive and hot tempered as a defensive mechanism to avoid being cheated or insulted due to their height.
Typically most tall girls tend to me proud and entitled.

Bottom line, difference in height should not be awkward and yoi should both be secure with your height. There's more to a person than height, their personality is what matters most.

EdoBoy90:
Dear guys,

Always ask questions about any lady's past. If she can't tell you, get it by yourself. Avoid any lady is who shouting privacy yet she wants to have access to yours; passwords of your whatsAPP, Facebook and other social platforms. Ladies can keep secrets. They always claim "Saints" whereas they aren't. Many ladies above 30 years who are not married, 95% are the caused of their problems. Don't pity any lady in relationship especially if you would like to settle down with her.

A situation where a lady told you that a man is her Uncle whereas the man wasn't her uncle. she has been with the man for more than 10 years as a 'side chic' whereas she couldn't get a guy or relationship for 2 years. The man is her sugar daddy. He only called her whenever he wants her. Ladies are heartless and wicked. Above 30 years, many ladies are just looking for an innocent guy to put their useless problems on his head.

In my opinion, avoid ladies who are above 30 years with multiple Exs. Just avoid them for your peace of mind please and future. The good ones are less than 3%

As important as her past is, what's more important is her present.
Virtually every one has a past they're not proud of and decisions they wish they regret. You probably do to.

What's important is has the person learnt their lesson and are they honest. Avoid every liar. A liar is capable of any other thing to keep protect their lies.

You've spoken well but my point is, there's always room for repentance. If she has repented from her past and she's honest with you, there's still a way there.

Uyi2017:
Let's put money aside, what else is your guy bring into your relationship?

Peace of Mind, Security (Financial and life), Vision/Purpose, Good leadership, Healthy romance, etc
Give a woman these and she has a fulfilled life.

All these and much more Christ nakes out of those who follow him.

Rizzputin:

So whenever such a situation presents itself, she'll either make a conscious decision to act funny or not.
And if she continues, you know what to do.

You need a change of heart.
All these analyses jus to keep destroying your self and others?
Please repent and ask for God's mercy.
Just know that you have not started living until you start living for Christ.
There's more to life that getting laid.

Offpointng:


This guys own case is different. he has not met her bfr or know a flinch bout her

Initially yes. But we don't have enough information to know if she is worth the wait or not.lol

Bruh, you know how long Jacob labour just because of Rachael for bible? 14 whole years!
He no feel the long years because he saw what was worth waiting for.

doneback04:


How would I look fixing my nails as a man, taking it to church

Two options bro, choose the one you're comfortable with.
Others have like wise given you other options.
The Lord is your strength. I've there and I had to consciously caution myself every time I find myself biting em.
I've made a remarkable improvement but it's relatively harder than fixing nails which I also just learnt about from someone's comment here.

Offpointng:
5years Just for a lady?? not even for ah million dollars?? you don't even know if she's gon give you peace. Dang, that nigga is a shame to whatever he represents

If I was a Military HOS a decree will be given that simps be shot dead just immediately cuz they a pollution

A valuable woman/man is worth the wait.
Unfortunately such women/men are hard to come by in this generation.

When you meet what you've been searching for in a man/woman, you'll understand.
And please, this is not about money or good sex. But the things that matter more.

IamWilliams:
Well done professionals

Please I need a serious advise on this

I'm currently a customer service rep in a major bank (full time staff and salary is 310k monthly) and i've spent close to 3yrs so far and aged 31. I have a BSC and MSC in Economics (BSC-2:2 grade, MSC-2:1 grade). Now, in recent time, I've been nuturing the idea of working in any of the BIG 4 with PWC been my biggest wish

Question is, Is working in PWC still possible considering that my background is just customer service or i should just forget the idea ?

Professionals in the house, I need your answer to this please

Depends on which career line you wish to pursue.

Every company has customer service needs. You could apply as one and patiently wait it out.
However if you wish to switch to Accounting field which PWC is renown for, you would need to start at entry level. Not sure what the age limit is though. You can find out more details from their website.

However, more important to ask is why are you considering switching from your present coy?
Your loyalty also will be rewarded in time, if the company has a defined career growth path.

Mac2016:

Cheating is not just kissing and bed engagement. Any untoward chats that u don't want your partner to see is cheat. If dem never knack, the woman is already into that office guy and she enjoys it. She must have reported to him sef that the husband don catch dem, make dem relax things small. It will take a miracle to get that woman back into the marriage, she's heavily invested in emotions with that other guy and dey will soon knack if dem never knack yet.
The husband shd start a plan B and be ready for whatever. But if he's not dependent on her finance, he shd escalate and take it to their ogas.
I hate office romance ehn. Never did that sh!t and I won't.

Well said.
My take is simply that we can't always judge things until we know the actual situation.

She might just see him as an interesting fun guy who makes the work environment not so boring for her.
He probably also helps her out with some tasks.
The challenge is that he clearly has ulterior motives "of them making babies" which she might think she is able to control, until circumstances make it uncontrollable.

And like you said, they just might already have started having an affair- emotionally or sexually which is why he has to act decisvely.

mcdon024:
Mature advice only please.
I will keep this very short.
There is this her colleague she talks about almost all the time. He is also married. I became curious and decided to go through her WhatsApp chats with this guy. I saw in thier chats selfie pics she sends to him (normal selfie pics), and the one that really got to me is the part he invited my wife to come over and "lets make babies" according to him. But her reply was "No I can't, your hands are full"....Please who can decode this her reply to him?....I confronted her but she denied ever having anything to do with him beside been colleagues. But my worry is why chat flirty chats with a guy and what would give him the mind to ask her to come over and .......... Please I need mature advice only

I don't think she has started cheating. But if care isn't taken, under the wrong circumstances, she could.

1. Good you've confronted her about it. The next is to let her know you're nor comfortable with her closeness with said colleague and demand she ends their relationship. See her reaction. If she's not willing to end the relationship to save her marriage, then there's fire on the mountain. You might need to speak to her boss about it. If you wish to salvage your marriage.

2. Find out what is missing in your marriage and what she would want you to improve on. Let her know what you will like wise want her to impirve on. Perhaps he gives her more attention. Women have a weakness for attention. Note that you can't try to hard, but the effort counts.

3. This generation of career women, you have to be sensitive about handling these things. The primary issue here is Trust and Finance. You both have to build your trust seriously cos as career people you spend most of your productive time with your colleagues than your family so it's natural to want to create a comfortable work environment. She has to build good relationships but there certainly is a line/boundary she must nor cross. Concerning finance, if you can't shoulder the bills alone, then certain sacrifices have to be made. The sole responsibility of carrying herself as a married woman lies on her.
If you ask her to resign to start business, if she wants to cheat, she still will. Never underestimate the creativity and tenacity of a cheating spouse.

Office romance is really at an astronomical high lately. In my office I can count few. Unfortunately I've also been there until God knocked senses into me.
May God help this generation. It's an eyesore, how the marrage means nothing to many.
I'm however hopeful and glad that the sanctity of the marriage institution is slowly being restored. Thank God for intercessors and marriage counsellors.

vazsily:
Them say who dey ask questions no dey miss road. Although with the Internet crazy people are bound so I am circumspect.

I have been married over 15 years and in that time I have always complained about the way my wife over cooks and then start looking for who to share the food with in the name of giving alms. You would think having managed kitchen and home for that long, food measurement should come naturally.

I have not taking much interest until with the recent inflation and high cost of goods in the market. And why I struggle with the Grace of God to earn a living, madam on the other hand thinks going to the market regularly and living above my salary na achievement without any adjustment. The matter don tire me, I want to simply pick my bags and run but for the kids.

Responsibility is a choice but I think she's abusing it. Giving to the poor comes naturally for me but you must be wise about it. How do i resolve this?

This is why the bible says "a prudent wife is a gift from God."
When a wife is wasteful her husband is in trouble.
When a wife knows how to manage resources, how blessed is her husband.

Three solutions in my opinion;
1. Do the shopping once or twice and show her what's acceptable. You have to be stern about this. She sincerely might not see any thing wrong in her actions until you show her. Her upbringing is likely responsible for this.

2. Reduce her allowance and get her to start doing business and understand the value of money. She will learn to spend wisely.

3. You should both see your marriage counsellor if you have one in your church. You're also indulging her so you both could use some counselling.

Some may not understand the gravity of what you're going through but it has sent many men to early grave due to high BP and overweight of responsibilities.

Do some thing fast before some thing do you.

Wawelexy:



Bro it's the happiness and joy they share that matters.... Forget whatever any of them is putting on

Both matter. It's a wedding, she could have put in effort. Unless the groom has no issue with it

Christianity is not against looking good. Its simply against excesses. Moderate and decent dressing is so beautiful to behold. God bless the women who get this.

doneback04:
I am 29year and I am still eating my fingers and I don't find it funny but most times I just find my hand inside my mouth and right now I am looking for a possible solution on how to stop it permanently,

Honestly one of the hardest habits to quit.
Though it takes a lot of intentionality to stop.
You can become so conscious of it that you stop immediately you find yourself engaging in it. In a couple of months you would have gained control over it.

Someone also suggested getting your nail fixed temporarily till you quit. Not a bad idea. Just fix some thing normal, nothing Feminine.

Beuberry:

Be fixing nails like us. You can't be mad to extent of chewing fixed nails!

This is actually not a bad idea. Never thought of this.

Neymar1095:
We are told in Genesis that the tree they eat from is the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and once Adam and Eve eat the fruit they have knowledge of good and evil. So how can eating the fruit be a sin if they had no knowledge that it was evil? You may say that God directly told them not to eat from the tree and by definition sin is rebelling against God but the Bible also tells us that we are judged on what we know and Adam and Eve had no knowledge that God was good or the serpent was evil?
If God truly judges us by what we know as stated in Romans 2:12 how could God judge Adam and Eve as sinful considering they had no knowledge of good and evil. All they knew was that they had been told if they ate the fruit they would die and told by another the fruit would give them wisdom.
Is there something I'm missing from the story or do I just not understand?

Moral of the story. Just avoid any one or any system that makes you disobey God.

damilola4162:
Lalasticlala Mynd44 Dominique Nfplmod Seun

Front page please

This is a sensitive question to answer.
In hhese last days there is so much false prophets and teachers and it makes it difficult to know who is who especially in the initial stage of conversion.

Not every believer is a Christian.
A believer believes the gospel, a Christian believes and lives the gospel.

Matthew 7, 1 John 3 , Galatians 5 etc help us make this distinction and the distinction is in the Fruits we bear.
Only those who believe the gospel and bear the fruit of Christ are Christians.

Nicepoker:
Taking pictures and making videos in skimpy outfits. And you expected sensible men to take you serious.

That is the main issue right there.
Love of money is making her do things that question her faithfulness.

She should also get used to idea of pity and accept it as her reality. Once people get to know her the pity will automatically morph to respect cos obviously she has not let her amputated leg bring her down and she's doing far better than most able bodies.

And ultimately, she should channel her passions to God and not on marriage. God knows what's best for her and the way He will provide is beyond anyone's understanding.

Saintinoo:
I never knew that I will one day write about this, because, of all the advice I have been given, I taught it was love in the air.

Some months ago, I created a thread about how I can't get over my girlfriend and another thread where I confirmed that she was a narcissist. But now, I have not only confirmed that I dated a covert narcissist for four solid years, but I have come to learn a lot about narcissism and how to unmask them. Sadly, we have more narcissist both male and female going into serious relationships.
White you are thinking about the problems in your relationship, the fights everyday, the mental abuse etc, you might just be in a relationship with a narcissist and that is the worst thing that can happen to anybody.

HOW DO NARCISSISTS GET THEIR VICTIMS.

Be it male or female narcissist, they hunt for their victims same way. A narcissist targets an empath, they target people who have something they do not have, learn empathy from you just to use it against you.

They portray themselves as the best thing that can happen to you after egusi soup. Yes, my narc ex portrayed those traits, that wife material characteristics, godly and prayerful, dress decent and act same. Do not be deceived, they know that is what you want in a woman so they give it to you for the while.

They will always talk about forever with you, bring so many fairly tails and give you the soul mate feeling, this you will believe you have found a wife or a husband, then you start making marriage's preparation. They have successfully made you commit. Mine always use this word "forever is the goal". All these is to make you commit and when you have committed, they start the abuse stage.

The narcissist common aim, be it male or female is to get you trauma bonded to them. Trauma bond is a situation when you excuse abuse from someone, go back to your abuser because you are afraid to lose them. I cannot count the number of times I went back to apologize for doing nothing, that is trauma bond working for her.

The narcissist will never apologize for their wrong at the later part of the relationship, they will do wrong, and expect you to take it, when you try to speak up, they give you the silent treatment as a punishment. Yea,because they have groomed their victims so much through the various love bombing stages. I was given silent treatment every time, and yes,after going a week of waiting to see if she will apologize for her wrong, I end up saying sorry. I was groomed during the earlier days to not do without her.

The narcissist will love bomb you at the early stage of your relationship, this is not genuine love,it is a tactics to get you used to them and whenever you try to leave and think of the past memories, you will have no choice than to run back to them until they are ready to discard you. In my case,she calls every day to check on me, would spend over an hour with me on phone, gave me pet names and showed the world that she truly loved me. Those were all lies.

WHAT WENT WRONG BETWEEN I AND MY NARC EX.

For me, i thought she was the last bus stop, in fact I had been planning how our wedding even though I had limited funds at that time, I was ready to go against anybody just to wed my soulmate. But then, this problem keep coming. I felt someone was trying to control me, someone was doing wrong and do not apologize. We kept fighting almost every week, and yes, I kept apologising.

Early this year, I called her to discuss marriage plan, she disagreed with everything and went completely mute, I called the next day to resolve and ask for her opinion, she still went mute, the silent treatment increased. I vowed I am done and will not contact her again, went no contact. After two month, I saw her pic somewhere, and since I was trauma bonded to her and didn't heal completely, I went back begging her for over a week. That is was being trauma bond to a narcissist does, it completely makes you their slave.

During the cause of the discard from my narc ex, she knew that I have been trauma bonded to her and the sight of her pic will bring back memories, she used what is called " flying monkeys " to make me see her pics and believe that I will keep rushing back to beg her, because she enjoy all the abuse.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU DATING A NARCISSIST; if you do any of those thing I did, you are dating a narcissist.

1. I beg for her attention when she gives silent treatment.
2. I felt like she is just the one.
3. I do not look at any other lady not even a friendly look because all my attention was around her.
4. Her eyes goes dark when she is angry.
5. She shouts and insults to any extent when angry.
6. When she wrongs me and I refuse to call and apologize for reacting, maybe for 5 days or a week, she rages in anger.
7. She belittles me when she is angry, this is a common trait with a narc, male or female.
8. From her story, during our love days, and from my findings her dad is a narc. Pls try and know your lover parent, narc is hereditary.


Did I talk about how I later confirm that my Darling angel was a terrible covert narcissist.

Early this year, I had a neighbor whose 2 years old daughter exhibited the same traits my ex exhibited, the anger, the manipulation, the gaslighing, everything.

Finally, narcissists are demonic, look for these red flags in your relationship and end the relationship the minute you confirm that you date is a narc, there is no changing them, I tried and got hurt. The narc know what he/she is doing.

Narcissism is hereditary and they are born that way, they keep getting worse by the day, so best is to avoid them.

Drops pen.

Thank G0d for your deliverance. Go and sin no more. Narcissists attract a type.

LadyRosa2:
As the topic implies, this is a true life story.

Although my knowledge of this family started around when I was 19 years old.

I will call this friend of mine Sarah, the first child and daughter of her father. This true life story appears sad, and in my quiet times, especially recently, I'm beginning to feel sympathetic to both sides of the coin.

A few days ago, around 6 am, Sarah called me, and our conversation went like this;

Me: Babe, how far, this one you dey call by this time?
Sarah:I'm going to drop my papa at the park.
Me: for what na? Person wey just enter town yesterday? You for allow the man rest small...

Sarah: no be for my house, I don drop am, pay him transport, and still give am 5k to hold the body for the road.

Me: Babe, I dont support this one, in less than 24 hours your dad dey the Road for like 12 hours.

Sarah: That one no concern me, no be me invite am come.

A day earlier her father had called her from their previous location, he must have gotten there only to find out his 'ex-wife' had moved out. He decided to call Sarah, and she picked up, accommodated him for the night and bundled him back to the next available bus to Makurdi.

Truth be told, the ex-wife no longer lived in the slum he visited. She is now in a duplex, paid for by his first son. Let's call him David. David is in Europe and through one of my kinsmen, had secured a 3-bedroom duplex for his mom. His father is not aware of this.

Those children suffered men!

Big Mama, Sarah's mom was abandoned by her husband when Sarah was just 12 years old. The same year, Sarah was brutally raped by a neighbour because of 20 naira, while her mother was bedridden in the hospital after child evacuation. The father left while she was pregnant with the 5th child. Sarah would hawk all manner of foodstuffs to put food on the table. When she doesn't sell, she sells her body for peanuts to buy pepper and oil to make even the cheapest dried akro soup.

Her father had remarried and stopped caring about their welfare, a federal government worker in a good money-spinning ministry. He got transferred to another state and started a new life.

When I knew Sarah, she already had a child, a small saloon and four more mouths to feed. She would work in the morning and at night she would visit lounges. Life was hard, and so cigarettes and drinks became her god.Sarah till date is a chimney and she does so even in the presence of my husband, he no longer minds.

One cold night a couple of years ago, after we shared drinks at my place. She narrated how she and her siblings suffered.

" Sis, say my brother travel abroad, no be my power,na say God don look us say we don too suffer. David go gather wound for his body, from one Lebanese and Indian company to another, na so machine go dey cut cut his body. So so blue ink full him body"

I watched with tears how she broke down completely, spilling her wine all over my tiles.

"Sis, na 20 naira e take to lose my virginity, 20 naira!"

", My father...Wetin' we do am?!"

Two years ago and some months , she got a huge break. She called me to follow her to Transcorp Hilton and made me promise that I 'behave' myself.

We met this man, well groomed. We were half into the conversation when she looked at me with a forced smile, and said to me
" Sis, this is the man that raped me"

The spring rolls in my mouth turned into vinegar, my heart began to pound, and I could only see everyone but the man blurry. I eventually kept my cool but was silent the whole evening even as the man apologised profusely. My baby was beginning to cry, and I took the opportunity to leave their table because I was feeling sick and nauseated.

In less than 6 months after that encounter, he had secured a bigger and well-equipped saloon for her and had given her enough to travel out to buy hair.

Let's talk about David. David suffered oooo. I remembered one time I was going through her old pics and saw a younger version of David, sickly with his tummy protruded.

" My sister, na poison. My father come one day,, carry am go makurdi, na so person call my mother say make she come do carry her pikin before them kill am.My mother enters Moto, and as she stops for Keffi, she stand for Road dey beg for Moto wey go carry her reach makurdi, no money na. We carry am waka from one church to another before God just save that boy. "

I looked at the picture again and gently dropped it, still overwhelmed with internal grief. The first time I saw David in person after he graduated from the University ( he sponsored himself with the help of his sisters), I asked in bewilderment,

" So na this boy your father abandoned?"

Standing before me was a young man, fair, built and with a height I reckoned would be above 6. In inches. No wonder white women couldn't get off him as soon as he landed in Europe. He got married to one and life in that family changed in a flash. I enjoyed it for I got a cut from my father's kinsman when he bought a property.

Their father is no longer with the second wife, as she left him after three kids. He married a third and is now a retired pensioner.

Last night, while shopping together, Sarah was laughing and I asked, " Babe why you dey laugh"?

" When my father comes to my house, him dey ask me why I leave one bedroom go enter 3 bedrooms with my son. I tell am palee, this house no be rent o, na my house be this o."

" So wetin' him come talk?" I inquired.

"Wetin' him one talk again? Shebi waist pain wey my mama dey go through na say he left her when she was in her twenties. The woman has not seen Preek 4ck till today, because she carries church for the head. Woman wey him marry when she dey 17 years."

I choose to use the word ex-wife, but they never really divorced because the bride price paid is still binding. The fact that this woman who has suffered so much will soon be a mother-in-law to a German BMW Engineer in a few days is overwhelming. I wasn't surprised their last girl will end well, she's always looking like something out of foreign red carpets all the time. Like David, she is tall slim, surprisingly Conservative and intelligent.

Palee will be coming again to grace the marriage of one of the daughters he abandoned. Can't imagine his regret when he sleeps in a well-furnished duplex, away from the slum where he abandoned his children and wife many years ago, only to find out the first son from his loins bought that for his mother.

E go to pain am.

But one thing is certain or I think I noticed, David and Sarah still bear the hurt. The other kids have moved on, and don't mind being in their father's life.

You're a good story teller.
Momsy is the heroine of this story and Pman clearly is the villain.

Time always justifies. In due time we all reap what we sow in this life and hereafter.