chinasaekpere: Hello guys, this is a very strong decision I want to make, I need your help to make this decision or not to. I am thinking of cutting my parents off because they have caused me enormous financial setback as a result of the bad decisions my father made. Firstly, I will like to give you a background of the story.
I come from a family of 4 and I am the first child of my parents. My dad is a retired federal government worker, he worked for many eyes as a school cert holder (so obviously, he didn’t hold very top position until he retired, probably the max in reached was level 8 or 9). He trained me through the university and he retired during my NYSC, at this point one of my brothers was in the university (he never graduated because he was nonchalant), my 3rd brother was a jambite and the last born was in primary school. The Jambite graduated this year and the last born is now a jambite.
In 2013, my dad retired and received gratuity worth several millions. My mom tried persuading him to build a house in the village because we are Igbos but Based in ogun state but my dad refused and insisted that he was going to develop his land in ogun state by building a 4 flats building (up stairs) then start business with the remaining money in Ogun state (apparently, he got the revelation from church to do that), he never completed the house. My dad is very religious until date, so out of the money he paid tithe, bought instruments for church and made some donations. Immediately I finished serving, I got a job with a pharmaceutical company as a medical sales representative. I was receiving a salary of 80k with commission. Things started great. I served some money I joined my dad in some of his fish farm business, I was in Enugu while he was doing the farm business in ogun state. When it was time to harvest the fish, I was told stories about theft, I spent 700k on the business but was able to recover 200k because I had to help him offset some debt.
To cut the long story short, my dad started having serious financial issues, couldn’t pay school fees of my last born in school, had several debts just about 2years after collecting millions as gratuity due to his wrong choice of investment. Ofcourse the financial burden transcended to me, until a point that my dad got into trouble from another debt, he spent church harvest savings that he was suppose to remit. I was paying my brothers school fees worth 150k per term, i had to take money from company’s account to help him offset the debt hoping that he would pay up and I will pay some before company finds out. The whole financial burden was so huge for a starter like me, owing to the fact that I lost all my savings to the fish farming business and I also had to pay house rents in Enugu and pay other bills. I accumulated a debt of 1.2million with the company and then is started paying it by bit until the company found out that there was a deficit of 400k. I was arrested and was in the cell for days. To get out of the cell, I had to sign a legal agreement for a payment plan of paying 30k monthly to offset the debt. Luckily for me, I got a 60k job 1month after, my dad couldn’t pay my last siblings school fees, I took him to Enugu and started Paying his bills. I was also paying 30k from my salary every month until I paid all the lost the job again during the heat of the recession. I managed to pay up that debt. Since 2018, I haven’t really done any serious job, I started driving Uber in 2019, saved up some money, my mom needed money for business last year, i borrowed her, she couldn’t complete the payment. The car I was using to do the Uber got bad again. I had to look for a remote job now in Lagos, I saved up money and learnt how to do footwear, i Am saving some money to pay my house and shop rent and get machines. Last two month my dad called that he needed money for my brother’s school fees so he can complete his SSCE exams. He promised to payback mid last month, now I have not seen the money and my that was my house rent I borrowed him. My house rent expired in August. I called him, and ofcourse, he is playing the emotional game. Now, they are in serious financial mess and they seem not to want stop dragging me into it and it’s not as if I am doing great myself. I am not, I’m struggling to make something after mortgaging a lot of time paying several debts. It is overwhelming.
The point is, I am 31years old, I’m looking forward to making my own family and it seem if I am not careful, they will drag me back from this objective. Anytime I try to organize myself, they come up with their monetary problems and it hinders my growth. My plan was to get a shop and equip it before the end of first quarter 2022 from the saving I made from my current 80k salary and now they have collected my house rent in form of a loan. That’s a drawback again.
I have to make my own family, I need to shed some burden to be able to do that. I also want to be a parent and I never want to depend on my kids in my old age. Should I cut them off? If no, what do you advice that I do?
I am speechless. You have really tried... But don't give up, just have a heart to heart discussion with them
murphyibiam15: I'm trying to encourage our men here to take good care of their health, physically and mentally.
It's not like women don't have theirs but those of the men are very much noticeable in the sense that it takes a toll on their physical and mental health.
(1) I entered lagos two weeks ago and I needed to take uber, this uber driver as I can guess will be bw his 50s and 60s.He needed to send money to his wife (3k)but somehow he couldn't do transfer since he was driving me but I helped him with my bank app while he gave me cash. Do you know after transferring the money his wife was ungrateful and demanded he returns home immediately (that was around 8pm).Now,the man started complaining to me how whether he brings money or not how his wife keeps complaining and he said he's pitying Nigerian men who are getting married to strange women and giving birth without knowing what they're going into. He looked stressed out and trying to make ends meet but yet his wife added more burden, not just financially but mentally. So tell me how this kind of stressed man won't die out so sooner than later. He was lucky somehow that one of his children got a scholarship to study in India.
(2) I attended a friend's wedding and to my utmost shock both fathers of the celebrants are late. Only their moms are still alive while other relatives represented their fathers. So I was wondering how their moms are still alive while their fathers are late. Some may say men marry younger women that's why they die out but from the mothers of those celebrants they're not up to 60 years, so how much age difference that will make the two men be late?
Im saying this because I have noticed lots of people esp men are passing through a lot of stress, please men don't allow your wives, siblings or anything infact to overstress you to the point of dying out in time. We men aren't super beings, try to take things easy.
Just my 2cents, bye.
My guy you are 500% correct.In have noticed that we have more widows in the country than widowers.This means a lot of men die because of intensive stress while trying to cater for their family .Many homes crumple immediately the man dies .Women should allow their husbands to rest.
bodybuilder: Why do Nigerian guys always think they were rejected 'cause they're broke. Why do you have this mentality that your brokeness is your only flaw. Might be another reason. That's girl you think rejected you cause you're might even be dating someone broker than you. Sometimes you're not as broke as you think, it's just low self-esteem from comparing yourself with others. It could be your bad looks, social awkwardness, bad hygiene, shyness and many other things.
Some guys underate the power of being good looking sha. So many girls can be gotten by just being tall and handsome, being rich is just a bonus.
My guy, na English you dey speak .How many naija ladies can reject an oil and gas worker that they paying millions? Na only broke guys girls dey reject any how
fvck: So I met this lady and within a month I decided to tell her I'm going to see her Dad,and wants to settle with her, I said I was tired of the delays and search, she was all loving and nice, till one faithful afternoon she called to say she isn't in, cos she doesn't feel same way.
Me I jejely calm down and felt maybe she's playing a game not to look too cheap.
She even suggested we become friends...
Did I bring up the marriage matter too fast?
Where are you rushing to? Later you will come here and start complaining
What will you do if for the first week you get your salary paid into your son account and your wife withdrew #35,000 but lied she withdrew #30,000 ?
This is what happened .She gets the SMS notification from our son account and she also keep the ATM card but all I do is to get the mail notification.
Tonight ,she was indirectly complaining she doesn't have money and I asked her how much she withdrew in the last five days and she said #30,000 but the mail notification I got showed she withdrew #5,000,#15,000 and #15,000 on Monday and Tuesday (this week ).
The amount that dropped in the account was #150,000 and she was the one that even started doing transfer for those we needed to settle last sunday when my salary dropped .
We paid our son school fee ,sent little amount to my sister and little amount to her mum and her elder sister and I borrowed #13,000 from the money for transportation.We paid debt of #20,000 .
I stay and work on the island while I go home three times a week (mainland)
In all these,she was able to withdrew #35,000 and I was surprised she was telling me this night to get the money someone was owing me so that I can return the #13,000 I got because all what we have as balance in the account is #2,000 .
I was like is she trying to tell me she have finished the #35,000 with her and jokingly I said how much did you even withdraw from the salary and she said #30,000 !
I asked her if she was sure and she said that's what she withdrew .I now sent the notification I got to her and she was shocked and refused to reply me since 8pm .
My question is why did she lie ? Definitely ,she know she took #35,000 (#5,000 ,000 on Monday&another #15,000 on tuesday )but I am still shocked why she lied and why she is insisting on getting the #13,000 she transferred to me from my own sweat !!
Seriously ,I have lost my trust in her .This is someone who I have never benefitted anything from her rather than the fact that we have a son together after our wedding .
I love her so much and we have been together since 2013 .I have never seen any trace of infidelity in her but she locks her phone with heavy security just because I lock mine and that have never cause an issue but I still don't know why she had to lie this night !
Is there something I don't understand ?
She have definitely been a good wife since we settled down( with prayer and moral support )and she always stand by me in term of better and worse and she is not wayward despite how pretty she is .
But why did she lie ?
My guy go and discuss it with her... People family problems big pass this one
royalamour: Congratulations! He should sell it and buy a 100 million NGN house and invest 1.2 billion NGN, then keep 600 million NGN to travel round the 7 continents, live life, give 20 million to charity.
Beautiful!
Na wa o...You don dey help another man to plan .Bros go and play your own
If you were in shoes which will you opt for. I think I'm too old staying with my uncle. It is depriving me of having a serious relationship, no lady is going to take a man who doesn't have his apartment. That's not the issue though, I'm more concerned about my financial situation.
My guy forget about any lady now.If you are moving out of your uncle's house because you want to have a relationship with lady, then you should rethink. I will prefer you plan and travel out for your PHD to a country you can work when you graduate
insidenaijasblog: An unidentified Nigerian man has explained his decision to use his parents for money ritual, Newspremises reports.
The man who was questioned on his intention, said that even if his mother begs while he's about to carry out the act, he won't stop as her plea would only push him into killing her faster.
When the man was asked if I could also use his father for money rituals, he said that his father is the easiest option as he doesn’t ''give a f*ck'' about him.
When asked if he would go ahead with the ritual if he was told he has only 3 months to enjoy the money, the man responded and said, he is okay with such arrangement.
He however, reiterated that if his parents gave a f*ck about him, they would have hustled to make him comfortable.
Tomek09: Meet UNIZIK Nursing Best Graduating Student With 4.74 CGPA 2019/20 Set
Miss Chinenye Gloria Enukorah has emerged UNIZIK Best Graduating Student in Nursing Science Department, Faculty of Health Sciences and Technology with a CGPA of 4.74.
The Induction, Swearing in and Oath Taking Ceremony of the graduands is scheduled to hold on 5th October, 2021 at the Nnewi Campus of the revered institution and University of the Moment.
The graduands were admonished by the Council Representative to uphold their professional oaths at all times and always put the patient first in the course of Practice as Nursing is a noble Profession.
Highpoint of the events include: Award Presentation, Oath Taking and Swearing in ceremony, Farewell Address by the best sudent among other colourful highlights.
Irijosa777: I wrote my final exam in July this year, few weeks later I was in Delta when my course adviser called me to come to school (Uniben), that it's a matter of urgency, I went to school, then I meet her in the HOD office. She told me I failed two courses in my final exam. She said the department is going to upgrade one to "" then wave the other one to me but by imprecation I will graduate as a 2.2 student. When, I thought about it if I should accept it or come back again to write the two courses (one in 1st semester and the other in 2nd semester) to get 2.1. it was a hard decision for me to make but then I made the decision to accept the offer because of the following reason. 1. Uniben is becoming too stressful/ I'm already tired. 2. The financial expenses involved 3. Economics department in Uniben is not a joke. 4. The probability of me getting "A"s if rewrite the two courses is very low. 5. ASUU and strike Based on the following reasons I accepted the offer, result came out I graduated as a 2.2 student but some how I started feeling sad. Though 2.2 is not the best but then I also graduate myself. I can't come and kill myself ( schooling in Nigeria university is like war). If I may ask, did I took the wrong decision? Opinions please!
In summary, with your 2.2, you can either do business or get a work( not job since you didn't make at least 2.1) through man know man .But I will advice you to gather your money and travel abroad.You will never regret your decision
Gidada: thanks. I hate to beg so I rather sale my property. Mhen I have stopped praying because it seems my prayers doesn't pass my ceiling. I just wanna pay my son's school fee and Hope if I'm still alive by December everything would have changed. Lol girlfriend don run go, friends don go. Lol me wey people dey full around before
My guy na so the thing dey be.Money brings friends .Don't worry God dey
Nbotee: Talk true, where u see 400 take buy only pear??
Hahahahaha He is not even happy that he has N400 to buy it when government is paying graduate N30k, that is meant for transportation .Where will such a person have N400 to buy pear ?
FutureIsFemale: So true my dear. And not only beautiful women these men are scared of. They are also scared of independent and intelligent women. I once dated a guy who said he can never married an educated woman.
Even here on this forum once the see the writeup "The FUTURE is FEMALE", they get scared.
Na lie .The problems of beautiful women are more than the beauty.Most of them are arrogant, full of pride ( especially the brief ones) and laziness ( since most guys give them money when they beg) .
dingbang: Lmao.. Jobless people dey get turned off by people making a living.
Yes o, if you ask them now how much are they earning from their work? It will be less than N30k( that is if they are doing anything ), yet you hate someone that is try to survive in this economy
Anyone who tells you 150k salary in Nigeria is little or bad, is out of touch with reality. Few people earn 150k and above in this country.
Not totally true my guy.Here in South South, things are quite expensive.Do you know that you can spend an average of N800- N1000 here on transportation just moving within a short distance? What about food items that are quite expensive here.In those days, you can proudly tell someone that you are earning N100k and the person will be happy with you that you are rich... Not now.The economy is so messed up right now
confirmedniggae: Is #150,000 monthly salary considered a good salary ?
Is the pay ok with a wife and a kid?
What is your take?
It depends on where you live.If you live in the North,bit is okay. But in the South, my guy you need to hustle more.House rent, school fees and flood items will make you feel as if you are earning less than N30k. However that money is good for a start
SCHEDULE FOR DOCUMENTATION OF NEWLY RECRUITED TEACHERS
The newly recruited teachers are to appear for documentation as per their subject areas as scheduled below at the Board’s Headquarters:
20th September, 2021
Mathematics, CRK, History, Computer Science, Physical & Health Education and Geography.
21st September, 2021
Home Economics, Basic Technology, Ibibio, English Language, Civic Education, French and Biology.
22nd September, 2021
Agricultural Science, Economics, Chemistry, Fine & Creative Arts, Financial Accounting, Physics and Further Mathematics
They are to come with original /photocopies of the following documents in duplicate:
i. Birth Certificate/ Affidavit of sworn age declaration ii. Certificate of Origin iii. First School Leaving Certificate (FSLC) iv. GCE/SSC v. Original copies of all other relevant educational qualifications vi. NYSC discharge/Exemption Certificate vii. Change of name (if any) viii. 2 file jackets ix. 2 Passport Photographs
I need your sincere advice on my present situation. Please ignore any grammatical error or punctuation. I’m the first son of my family, my father is an average Nigerian trader, he single handedly sponsored my schooling from nursery to higher institution.
After my service year, one of his friends scammed him of 300k in the name of they will get me a job in NUPENG before he paid that money I told him my pastor’s revelation about the NUPENG job, which my pastor said She does not like the job and shared ill references associated to the job with me and I told my dad when I got home, he countered and rebuked the revelation, he doesn’t take any of our advice, he finally fell for the scam.
To cut the long story short, I’m now working class that earn 75k monthly, however I’m still squatting with a friend and I’m still struggling to survive.
Recently I received a call from my dad, he told me he needs 500k for trading, that he wants me to take loan on his behalf he will be paying the debt once it’s due, since he is yet to complete the outstanding loan he took from the same bank, which is remaining 3 months to complete. I later discovered he had another debt he’s still servicing (Paying ) of a different bank that is remaining 6 months to complete. After pondering over it i asked him; what if he defaults what will happen ? he shunned me and said why will I be negative and I politely told him my mind that I cannot help the current issue. Since then he started reporting me to my mum relatives to talk to in order to accept and collect the loan of 500k on his behalf.
Please your advise on this will be helpful. Thank you.
Sir it will take you at least 8months for you to finish paying that debt if you dont eat .You salary is just hustling money and not really a big salary. Tell your father not to try that nonsense .Tell him you warned him earlier on but he refused to listened to him. Tell him when you have money, you will give to him to start something but he shouldn't borrow any money because you will not pay
Kadejo: I meet this lady during COVID-19 pandemic period which was last year May 2020. She is still a student in a reputable University here in Nigeria, 300Level to be precise. She is 25years old. She has insisted that until she finishes her school, gone for service and do what ladies call "Sisi" for at least another one year, she won't get married. That will be about 4years to this time.
I am in my mid 30s already, working class, earn below #70k per month, also into IT business, willing to get married now because I feel lonely, also need to build a family of my own before I turn 40yrs.
This lady in question appears to show me love, that's to her own way, my orientation is a bit different, I love her too anyways.
But would you advice I wait for her till she is done with all she has said or should I leave her and look for someone else to get married to?
Please, no insult, advice needed from experienced person.
Thank you.
My guy leave the babe oo..She is not a serious person. Babes are many that will marry you now , I mean now if you are ready . Time nor dey . You can still find love with a lady and marry her within a year .That your babe is not serious .What if ASUU goes on strike for another 6months, will you continue to wait ?.She thinks her mates don't have four children already .Let her continue with her shakara..Na so Juliet say turn evening newspaper
I created that thread before and the replies were satisfying.. I'm bringing this up again because DSTV and gotv are miking Nigerians even startimes is frustrating...
Nothing happened to them .They were simply telling us what they can't do
11Anonymous: Just got a job offer of about 80k per month and I planned on going for NYSC before the year ends.
Which should I go for, knowing that I may no longer be interested in serving after getting a job?
Do the work.When it is time for service, do your service if you cannot work it.By the way in this Buhari regime, something that pays you N80k , does not fall under the category of job.Na hustle be N80k
Romance / Re: Why Do Nigerian Guys Always Think They Were Rejected 'cause They're Broke. by Mypeople2(m): 11:27pm On Oct 10, 2021 
Congratulations! He should sell it and buy a 100 million NGN house and invest 1.2 billion NGN, then keep 600 million NGN to travel round the 7 continents, live life, give 20 million to charity. 
