₦airaland Forum

maclatunji:
That is one way of looking at it. However, I think you should provide an excuse to yank your mother from home for like 3 months. Maybe, after having a baby or something like that. That should give both of them the chance to reflect on their relationship and how to stop bickering. However, you might want to consider that your father might just find a new sweetheart whilst your mother is away (especially if he has financial muscle).

Bless you, such a thoughtful response, but you're not dealing with reasonable people - trust me the older they get, the less reasonable they become.  Reflect on what? Wetin be "reflect" to them?  Take one away from the other, you will then hear complaints about how he/she misses the other one and then they will start picking a quarrel with you.  People like that can never be satisfied.

@ poster, at some point you become the adult and the parents are like the child, so it's for you to tell them to behave themselves.  Not sure how old your parents are, but you children need to tell them to behave themselves or you're going to put them in the corner facing the wall until they do!  Trust me, they'll sort themselves out for a while before the next argument.  Each time they misbehave, remind them of the impending punishment that awaits them.

While I agree with Chaircover I don't think any of those reasonable questions will do anything other than go over their heads!  Been there done that. The above works, depending on the type of relationship you have with your parents.  I could get away with it, plus it stopped them dead in their tracks 

Thanks for the info.  Unfortunately that is the case; the IP address tells them where you're from and isn't limited to Amazon, sadly. 

I had loads of ebooks before getting my Kindle but there are a few books on Amazon I'd like to buy, so will be buying those outside of Nigeria i.e. in Kenya 

I'm going to try the wifi but realise that most of my books are already on an SD card or similar so just have to synch them (unlike my last laptop the USB slots work on the newish one). I tend to avoid file sharing sites for a number of reasons.

@ osikhueme

Thanks for the write-up. I have a Kindle 3 3G. My understanding is that 3G will only work in certain countries, but wifi should pretty much work wherever you have a wifi connection shouldn't it? Have you tried connecting it to a wifi network, and if so what happened?

Have you registered your Kindle and if so via which region Amazon? My understanding is that there's an issue regarding buying books from Amazon if you're outside certain countries - so you could buy and register your Kindle in the UK but if you move to Malta you can only buy via Amazon.com. Even if you have a bank card and address in the country where you registered your Kindle, you aren't allowed to buy from that region. Very confusing.

Maybe because there are so few Kindle users in Nigeria that may be the problem - I wonder if South African Kindle users have the same problem?

Where do you buy your books from?

@ owu gal like I said, I don't think your husband is blind to his brother's behaviour.  He's adopting that "you deal with the household" thing so he doesn't have to deal with him, you are the intermediary, therefore all the stress is on you.

It is awful to have to police everything in your house, and sadder still you don't have the support or back-up of your husband.  I suggest that, if your brother-in-law ever comes back to your house to stay, sit down with your husband and lay down some ground rules for your in-law.   

Make sure your wardrobe has a lock on it next time - how someone could be visiting and going through your wardrobe is totally disrespectful.  I don't even do that to my mother much less an in-law.  Make sure you don't buy any new appliances so he's free to destroy what is already there    Keep a nice stack of bedding etc for people to take freely so you don't have to think about it (lock up the rest).

Your life is what it is, however it is possible for you to have some degree of control over what happens in your home without making enemies.  You set the tone and rules, not visitors or family.  It is sad that you have to live like someone under seige in your own home, but sadly that is the cross you must bear for now.  Many of us would love to be better off than we are, but all we need to do is manage the resources and things we have.   I'm glad this hasn't put you off having family stay, but some people need more boundaries than others, your brother-in-law being one of them.

Richfella:
Lol, I been think say na this type una been dey talk:

[img]http://2.bp..com/_qVrp5_kFKeU/TUIgKi3wSrI/AAAAAAAAAEE/KtHl4mrV-kY/s1600/alien-10.jpg[/img].

Got me really really interested .

Me too 

Reminds me of someone I know who has a horror story for everything positive you could say about relationships.  Some people are like that, but it is not a reflective of most relationships (which, incidentally, we never hear about).  OR, maybe the ones who see suspicion in everything to do with relationships, marriage and the opposite sex just congregate around the wrong kind of people 

Madam CC, spyder880 and to many others, may our marriages continue to flourish and grow.  May we continue to be the best husbands and wives we can be, and be the best examples to the next generation.  May we take the rough with the smooth, any bumps along the way can only make us stronger.  Most of all, we should appreciate what God has given to us and never take it for granted.

Thank you spyder880. I hope you let Madam see what you've written here!

spyder880:
Nice words by the last few posters, however, in my marriage, we are like partners. I believe she will always be there for me, and for me, no shaking!

I would like to know if those men who are (badly) advising you to be careful of your wife are themselves married.  Maybe you should ask them about how things are in their own homes, because it is obviously nothing like yours.

It's good to see a man appreciate what God has given him.  More grease to your  (you and Madam's) elbows!

I cannot imagine the husband is unaware of his brother's behaviour. 

The poster has stated that she was away for a couple of weeks he polished off a tube of toothpaste, then started using hers and the baby's.  Unless, as Siena has pointed out the husband is blind and deaf (the lack of sensitivity wouldn't surprise me), he must have noticed these things.  Notice his brother wasn't so foolish as to mess with the husband's toothpaste as he very well knew what the outcome would be.

I just think the husband is keeping quiet and supposedly tolerant because his wife is running interference so he rarely has to deal directly with his brother.  Neither would it surprised me if the poster has spoken to her husband about it and his attitude is to let it be. 

It is worse that the brother is only there for the holidays and  is displaying such bad behaviour in a short space of time.  The husband needs to lay down some ground rules and not just leave it for his wife to do.  Maybe if this was done and reinforced from the start a lot of what we're hearing about wouldn't have happened, or at least not to this severity.

I'd love to know if there are any Kindle users in Nigeria, and what their experience is: using the 3g or wifi only versions, buying books, even registering your Kindle.

Are Kindles sold locally (Nigeria), if so where, and for how much?

AjanleKoko:
I don't see why not. Though, expect to get 90% of prospective emigres instead. Most people from poor countries like Nigeria trave abroad in search of a better life, and not for knowledge.

It can work in Nigeria so long as those involved aren't looking to gouge/exploit the participants. It can be done at local level and bring in reasonable income so long as the end result is achieved i.e. learning the local language and getting involved in local projects. People are hospitable enough and it can work when they see the value it will bring to them locally.

sauer:
When I say it has to do with childhood, I didn't necessarily mean poverty. In fact, I never mentioned poverty. Just the attitude of the parents is enough to wreck/promote a child's future.
We don't have good parents in this country (rich or not)

And notice I said "poor but honest", nothing about poverty.  Now the childhood and good parents thing is an interesting angle - please expand.

While I'm not convinced all children follow their parents pattern, peer group sometimes has more importance than parents.  Plus if  you add to that a lot of people are pretenders (children "pretend" to be good at home but are wild outside, people say one thing but practice another). . .

What is a bag in kg as in how much does it weigh?

Make your own version of Pumpkin Soup. Or soup with pumpkin in it

I don't know o. . . . I think the anti-spam bot is full cos those sell sell posts are coming back with a vengance.

And WHERE'S OUR NEW MODERATOR? (not shouting, just asking a question  )

Mateability

sauer:
Anywayz, it's very funny to read people saying "Well, I am not Nigerian" and then go ahead dropping comments on why they think Nigerians are not trustworthy people. I suggest these people just keep their opinions to themselves. Well, there are not Nigerians. . . .
That said, I do think OP's observation is very true. Nigerians can be very unreliable people and am of the opinion it's a childhood thing. The storms of childhood (naija!), the influences of an uneducated father can stretch right into adulthood and always have the potential of creating a monster of a child. Parents are more to blame than the government is.
And then of course, the religion monster we deal with in this country. By hiding behind religion and religious obligations, Nigerians are able to commit terrible crimes and still get away with their minds intact. It isn't far-fetched that nearly all scammers are religious, and all religious leaders are scammers. They inter-breed, the men of god and the religious bigots; they share ideas and the country is no better for it!

Meanwhile, that link has over 2200 views and less than 15 replies! 

I think the points highlighted by Miss Ife etc are very valid even if they're not from Nigerians, and one I would love to hear addressed: if someone has ripped you off in the name of "business", why continue to do  business with them again?  Are we not helping to fuel that person's dishonesty and unreliability?

I don't think it has to do with childhood.  Some people have poor but honest parents and the children's behaviour is far removed from this - why?  Could it be  because some people are more greedy and materialistic than others?

As for the bit in bold - speaks volumes doesn't it?  

@ 2buff - I feel you.

Thankfully I'm beyond the Auntie/Uncle thing, it's Mrs X or Mr X. The only people I call Aunty are those who were there in my childhood, not anyone I met in my teens unless I feel comfortable calling them that.

While I agree with Swift SMS in part, my attitude is that I'm not going to trust or commit myself to anything or anyone until they prove themselves to me, moreso if it is work related. The Bank of N101 is closed, if you ask you will not get no matter what your god(s) told you.

Azanor:
Hey, did you get your case in Nigeria? for how much?

No I didn't. My phone was a freebie. It came with the Case-Mate case but I'm thinking of getting another one, cos the Case-Mate I have is too "flashy"

So, what are your specialities - if mobile phones, any particular make/OS?

What about tablets?

justwise:
They were encouraged to apply through CS as he will be providing them job, accommodation in Canada and pay for their flight all free, so awufu dey run bele.

Awoof didn't just run belle, but empty pockets too!

dustydee:
Good for the "educated" ones.

Hmmm, wish kind "educated" be dat?

Would love to know whatever happened to those dogs. . .

maclatunji:
Maybe if they are better-fed they will act like people who are well-bred and we will all notice the trend in the end.

But the well-fed, well-bred people who are "big boys" are just as corrupt.  Guess delicious meals won't make any difference 

If you could pay N250k or N500k, why not just apply directly to the Canadian High Commission for a visa?   

chivic123:
I am not supporting anybody but i just want people to mind what they say to those affected, insulting them doesnt make anybody better than them.I know that all of us have been scammed one way or the other. you claim my information are medicine after death, well thats your opinion,but i believe those that need it are making use of it. Let me ask you,what have your likes contributed?.Some claimed that they have warned people here,what is the percentage of people who putted up for the programme and are on nairaland?. Few if you must know,mind you they have the right to choose their path in life. Are they not the same set of people that are dropping email to get another info on how to travel. Let them decide and dont insult to drive home your point, it doesnt show how strong your point is. Mind you,if you see my post next time, just shut your eyes ans scroll to the next on.its a free world

I'm not going to engage in a war of words, but your comment just reinforces my point. Now that you mentioned it, where were YOU at the beginning of all this?

Knock yourself out bro, nothing do you.

maclatunji:
Could it be that some of the bad behaviour we see from Nigerian Police men is caused by poorly cooked meals?

Lol. Bet that doesn't include the Mamaput meals and Shepe they consume while on duty

I can't even believe they came up with this rubbish as a serious point - like delicious meals will stop them from collecting N20 from people.

[quote author=Murder_X link=topic=767203.msg9211090#msg9211090 date=1316869707]i just came across this topic and i decided to post a comment based on what a lot of people have been writing.let it be known that crystal services doesnt have a single agent whats ever.anybody that paraded himself or herself as anagent is a scammer.applicant are just required to walk into their office at famous busstop and get a form for just 1000 naira only and all u require to bring are police report,affidavit(a legal document binding you and the agency together and stating some conditions of good conduct from the applicant),guarantor,international passport and passport photographs.the whole process is free,but a condition was placed on the medical report,which is that you have option of doing it through the agency or you do it yourself at st nicholas or national hospital abuja.the agency is not forcing you to do it through the but if you have to then you pay 50,700.i dont see any angle where the issue of scam comes into this.the agents are the ones chargin applicant different fees rangin from 100k to 800k which the principal officer of the programme kicked against.on the bta,applicants are the ones that agitated for the loan.this also affected the initial departure date.the internet is there for people to visit to know more about canada and the number of imigrant that they are expecting in a year.7000  is a small amount,and know that they are not moving everybody ones.i see no reason,if not for poverty why some people will see payin 50700 as being a scam move.note also that the principal officer of this programme borrowed some people this medical fee of 50,700 also,but later stopped it when he realised that its been abused.i am not defending the agency but i am letting you know what u need to know instaed of sitting at home and just assuming others that are partaking are dumb or silly.it worth trying,and if you dont try,you cant get.i am also an applicant of the programme and i was one of the speaker at the syposium in unilag.august 19th is the departure date and its in batches.thanks

A nairalander with identity as mariofemi posted the above some months ago on the topic  https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-706047.32.html

click on his profile and you will find his picture. He claims to have been a speaker in the UNILAG symposium.[/quote]  Are you sure about this?  Just one thing; check out the link and following links, and then come back and clarify your statement:

http://www.canadainternational.gc.ca/nigeria/visas/medical-medicaux.aspx?view=d

chivic123:
i will just tell those that are not scammed as lucky,because all the facts this guy displayed show lot to convince pple. involvmnt of police,immigration and notable pple. if some of you are accussing those that applied as wanting to cut corners. What of those that had to travel down from overseas to apply.well the Lord will give us answers to our questions

I have been inclined not to respond to your posts, which are most often medicine after the fact.

The problem with the Crystal Services applicants and a lot of people in Nigeria is that they are lazy - they do not bother to do their research, check their facts, ask legitimate sources for answers.  They want shortcuts and to do things on the cheap.

How many times have I seen people post on NL asking about a website when the time it took them to log in and post they could have done a Google search and found it (and I have done many of these on my mobile phone so it's not rocket science).  

Those same people who were scammed could easily have:

[list]
[li]Looked up the information online provided by the CIC.[/li]

[li]Contacted the Canadian High Commission and Deputy High Commission for information and clarification[/li]

[li]Read the information from different forums online which provide legitimate application support, including one of the threads here in the Travel Section of NL.[/li]
[/list]

There is no secret way to do things, there are no shortcuts.  Anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar.

They will blame the agents, alfa, pastor, family and friends, traditional doctor, juju wey pass juju, big men, secret cults, all sorts of nonsense instead of accepting that, from the  evidence presented, the Crystal Services offering did not add up. 

They have no one else but themselves to blame.  Some of us repeatedly stated the right way to immigrate to Canada, and what CS was doing was suspect, and got nothing but insults and curses from these same applicants.  

Desperation is not an excuse for stupidity.  I would like to think people will learn from this, but I very much doubt it.

The Lord has provided information all over this thread, but keep waiting for Him to give you answers.

[quote author=lola.luv]The thing is; he confessed to me that we would make sense together and that he cares about me[/quote]And your response was what. . .?

The guy basically opened the door and you didn't walk through it?  By not responding to his comment he's probably thinking this is a one-way street and you don't feel the same.

My suggesion?  Next time he opens the door, walk through it and see what happens. Or if it bugs you that much, present the scenario exactly the same way he presented it to you and see his reaction.

MyJoe:
Em, no, I can't let her pay dowry, or groom price, as you call it. If I do, she will always want to lie on top during sex, will claim the kids as hers, and manize. She may even get me pregnant!

[quote author=Shy-One link=topic=766419.msg9205766#msg9205766 date=1316788839]What?  I love being on top and on the bottom during sex. Missionary and canine is the only acceptable position for Nigerian men?  Is that what you are intimating here?

Please tell me that- that is NOT what you are trying to say.

Se.x SHOULD NOT BE BORING, mundane, mechanical[/quote]@ Shy-One. . .maybe they're the only positions he knows 

Groom price would not be a bad thing if it led to couples being more responsible and accountable.  But as men pay bride price and it doesn't make a blind bit of difference, it would probably be a senseless exercise.