₦airaland Forum

lol, the blue eyes is a no no. thats a good one.

ow11:
Yeah ! we had a lot of randy ladies in the 17th and 18th century. My uncle has got blue eyes like a white man and he is not an albino. he is as dark as any typical nigerian. Some of my cousins have got hair like asians and mulattos and yet are black like me. I have always wondered if our genes were messed up in the past. now i'm certainly convinced! the nice hair is a plus for ladies but the blue eyes is a no no.

God go bless u plenty

NINETOFIVE:
This thread is a total manifestation of the author's backwardness, get out see the world, when you 've accomplished that and might have learned one or two things, we would discuss the terrible state of Igbo language in Germany and England or the terrible state of Yoruba language in France and Russia, ignorance is bliss.

the only jokes that are serious in nature na the ones from obj mouth, all other jokes according to www.laughter.com are laughing matter

surugede:
well if u don't think out your own jokes, i do. if u must posts joke (as its so obvious u can't think out urs), then do well no to post one that is already posted

i keep on telling people, jokes/comedy is not a laughing matter na seroius bizness, its either u know how to do it WELL or d don't know how to do it at all

na who u dey call hopeless son? back to sender! mummy hold me ooo, hold me oooo b4 i give this surugede a slap offering.

surugede:
na bc this your children will never mind dia biz, ok u were talking to auntee "shamless" about shamlessly shameing the yourubas and then your hopless son wey say e name na na2day (na2day?) jumped into it as of u were talking to him, na so i dey talk to na2day, millipede sorry Migines come jump into am, who invite em mouth for the matter, (so?)
well i promise to behave myself but don't forget to buy me that guguru ati ekpa wey u promise me oooo

that one na story book luv.

swiftycool:
That advice was for a chick, for a guy its viceversa. Knowledge is power and the one who knows controls the stuff. Of course if i were to advice u as a guy, i'd say fall 4 a chick who luvs u more. It depends on who wants the secret.
Generally if the other loves u more, they'll never hurt u, man or woman geddit?

well, i happen to have lived a very long time from childhood to adulthood in the northern part of nigeria, and no offense to muslims but i am the very last person to believe that it is a religion of peace. been thro a lot, lost some good fellows but God helped me, i am alive today. and most of these killings are so senseless and it takes the christian community so long to react, thats why they kill so many in a short time, little kids, school children etc. i even had peaceful muslim friends but when it comes down to those times, they were among those that attacked us. once my friends uncle had to come with a gun to rescue us in school out of the chaos. let them keep trying to make politically correct statements, in real life, we that have seen it, know the truth.


FYI: my situations have been so far better than many of my friends. think about it.

bros, wat is ur point? if we preach wat we cant do, why do we preach it? every human under goes temptations and can fall, and yes it is the grace of God but when we do fail, we dont use gra gra to cover face, we admit and ask for God's forgiveness and move on.

ayasco:
na waoh, funny tale but we all forgot something -isn't the imam in flesh and blood?wasn't Satan able to tempt eve to eat the forbidden fruit?wasn't Eve(Woman)able to tempt Adam into eating it also?
let stop deceiving our selves most men of God be it pastors,imams,priest, Alfa's etc are just enduring temptation.it by the grace of Almighty God that they can totally overcome it.
I am a Muslim and am proudly one but let he that isn't a sinner as Christians say cast a stone on the imam.
haven't we heard of pastors doing unspeakable things,haven't we seen priest breaking the laws of seminary,haven't we seen sharia proposers breaking the laws of sharia.[/i]if we continue speaking about the bad things men of God do then u give the non believers and the atheist a chance to prove themselves that [i]there is no God and that religion is for the weak.
enough of this blasphemy who ever u think your God is believe him(just know that mans existence isn't from Gorillas) and note that men of God are just people like u that chose to do God's will and may change their mind/go astray along the line.so therefore let not waste our time on their errors

yes mom but na surugede dey find trouble. i tried to blame the Englishmen but dem reject the blame, na wetin remain to do now?

ioday:
Children Children stop arguing

appreciate the Joke

@ shameless
You are shameless shaming us Yorubas like that is it our fault that the sound of the words are almost the same. Blame the English not us

which of the jokes have did u post here that is original? did u form the joke urself or u heard it somewhere or read it somewhere? either way, it is not original. if e dey pain u go kpeme!

surugede:
@poster
hw many times must same joke be posted here.
that simply goes to mean that most of the jokes here are no original
too bad.

correct man, na the levels

darfur:
in case of incasity= in case
repeat again= repeat
extreme end= extreme or end
luxurious bus=luxury bus
kill am die=kill

this na our own language, if u wan learn am u go language classes for any of the numerous universities motor parks wey full naija.

@ seun

are u atheist?

@ texas

where are u in tx?

there is nothing wrong with skating in nigeria, just be careful where u do it, back in the day i did skate in lag and also in abuja, we had lots of places to skate until things started to change; skating on the streets became dangerous biz, so be careful

nice but this has been an old joke when mtn first started.

really? didnt knw sum1 had already post this b4, my bad.

brimbrack:
a stale joke is one that has already been posted by someone else on the this board!!!!

na wa ooo, and a girl once told me to go for a girl that loves me more than i do because if i love her more she will show me oba. u are giving the diret opposite advice. na where una dey dig up all the dirty advice from?

swiftycool:
80% of chicks especially due to economic and social reasons Go into a life time
Relationship with LEGS WIDE OPEN and EYES WIDE SHUT 1
I guess the situation on this thread is what u get from not being wise

Many women actually come into a committed guy's life knowing he has a shaky relationship he was trying to work out. They come trying to replace the former babe with their new tricks, not realising what they had both gone through together in the past.

My advice? Never believe you are any guys comforter when u were the reason he broke up his former relationship and Its better to go for a guy who loves you neutrally more than u love him. But i assure u he is not likely to be the cutest or richest choice u will have. But at least u will be happy 4ever.

@ dakmanzero

e bi like say u carry vex enter this topic but make i clear ur doubts. number 1, osama is under bush payroll, or how else can the guy speak good english.

to the matter at hand: i hope u read and understood what i wrote, MS dont write the virus (not impossible for them to do) but they make the most insecured OS ever in the name of user friendliness, that their 3rd party boys can make their own money. why on earth ppl dont write much s/w or h/w support for linux/Mac ? simple answer in wat u wrote, CONTROL.
but let me burst ur bubble. according to security release this month, tiger was the 2nd most flawed system after vista. mac got plenty of hacks, from the current problems they are dealing with in safari, to quicktime flaws, to their bluetooth vunerabilites, ipv6 flaws, flaws in the airport cards etc(for those of u that decided to run vista using parallels on ur mac, u know the problems u started facing, security wise, hmmm, i wonder why ) . but the difference between apple and ms, they take their biz a little more seriously than MS. vista was hacked the very 1st wk release; if u belong to reasonable IRCs u will have found easy flaws that u can take advantage of. and yes, MS is really interested in the virus biz, otherwise they wont have made part with eset which recorded a high success with nod32. i talked to one of the regional rep of MS the other day in one of our meetings, telling him flaws of many code flow flaws on the new vista b4 the release and the guy was so speechless, it took the amd and hp guys to help him out. i could go on and on and on, but somethings i cant say in a public forum for my job sake but brother, seek and thou shall find; when it comes to MS vista, thou will find plenty( dont get me wrong, the concept of vista is great, and if u knw what u r doing, u can turn it to a bad ass OS but how many users know what they are doing? ). as for the 360, i hope u are only joking, because that son of a gun has been hacked till kingdom come. now hacking doesnt mean a bad thing but ppl have misrepresented it to the general public. i know some boys from TI and the things they have done to the xbox360, na only God go forgive them. anywayz, like i said, seek and u shall find. u can write a virus easily for the 360 urself but it is not a point of interest for the many zoo coders out there; just giving u a heads up bro.


now for the linux side of life. na who tell u that u have to knw linux to use it. there a tons of distros out there that dont need u to know jack apart from click, next, click, next, click, i have held back the temptations of dropping urls here to lead u to various sites without getting myself burnt but at least i can drop this known site for any one that is interested in using linux for just abt anything, gaming pc, media center boxes(i am currently building my new media center box so i can test the new linuxmce, and then i can kick out my MSmce that is dont performing my tivoing dreams as i want it to ). www.distrowatch.com, that sites hold some good distros and u can get into linux without the scare. iight bro, i don tire, hunger wan kill me, make i go wack. lata.

july 10, any1?

thank u my sister, no bi small temptation i been go through

Dekie:
Wow!to think i was part of that crowd that was fooled.
Anyway he was smart enough to go get condoms.
Thats as good as they come.weldone bro

well most of the girls here proved that the generalization is true; u r probably among the 0.01% that is different.

giffyted:
u know d problem most of us have? generalisation.
$ammy how did u arrive at that logical conclusion?

prayer wont do anything if we dont repent and change our ways. prayer is communication with God but the good Lord also has commandments to be obeyed. obedience naturally brings blessings from the father. do u know how many "Holy Ghost nights" they have held in nigeria? thousands have prayed but change is a product of willingness and determination to an action/actions to achieve the oppose result of a current situation. faith without works is dead, same is said for prayer without obedience is zero.

honestly, una don begin dey fear me. all these stories una dey bring come nairaland, i hope dey are real because dey don dey pass becareful. haba! u left ur church without a conviction and the girl waka? wonders sha never end ooo. abi are u tell us the full gospel story of what really happened? una dey see nigerian babes. all i have been reading on this nairaland are all negatives of nigerian ppl especially the women: sum1 will come and tell me they need finance for true romance, oya, the guy wey do such a big sacrifice don hang. that is hw she wld have done if he had money and after the marriage money kon waka.

@ poster, take heart. as per which church u shld go, i will personally say living faith but the true decision is urs with some soul searching. i have been to a lot living faith churches were the things they do, all i can say is tufiakpa! living faith will be my suggestion but they are not the way to heaven. find a personal relationship with God almighty.

i understand fully, thats why we need to sharia both of them

henry007:
no what he's sayin is that the imam did some kind of wierd things that r unspeakable to the young or virginistic girl

@ dakmanzero

microsoft goes thro that wahala to give their 3rd party s/w and h/w companies money in the pocket. it is called business. thats why they keep supporting microsoft and microsoft keeps growing despite they got the worst O/S on the planet.

@ Riskie

there is no such thing as the value of christmas. christmas originally was a pagan celebration b4 the romans indoctrinated the world with it as a form of diffusion of true christianity. check ur bible well, christmas was never mention directly or indirectly.

@ poster

kindly bring ur girl and the iman, we need to sharia both of them.

@ y'll

i strongly believe this was a yoruba iman, i lived in the northern nigeria, the girl wont have had the liver to mention it if they were true northerns like the hausas.

define stale joke?

brimbrack:
nice joke, but stale!!!!

HAPPY BDAY!!!

kilasos:
its my bday in afew hours,im excited.
jb baby and trasure 27,my birthday mates,Have a lovely birthday.
cheers

LMAO, i see luv in the air, huh? is that possible?

dakmanzero:
(nitpick: you *didnt* say finance enhances romance. you said NO finance NO romance!!!!!! and if only 0.0000001% of girls have it all, it doesnt mean I can't find them afterall I found YOU )

hey tony, wassup! i use to live in zone 6 foreign affairs area, near berger junction. if u grew up around there, hit me up.

TonyTech:
well, mine is 14th september, 19-u-know!

pls all these quarrel na wa. what is romance? pls sum1 define romance. can i be truly romantically involved with sum1 i dont love? if yes, then finance and that kind of romance goes hand in hand which in turn means she is a hoe.
if true romance has a foundation in love then money isnt an issue, after all u need money to get u ur basic needs of life, so what's the point. the problem here is the true definition of romance, is it love, lust, flirting, or what? if u girls quickly reply love, then all of u in support of the topic don get f9 because considering the fact that God is the embodiment of love, and he loves us whether we are rich or poor he does loves us, then what kind of love are we claiming. if a woman hates her child becomes the child is having financial difficulties, wouldnt we call her the devil? so what does that make women that claim they need finance to love. if money is the primary engine, why on earth shld i stick with one woman? after all, i give her want she wants, money and i get what i want, sex(pls this is not romance). i have no problems with hoes, dem knw wetin dem want, and dem dey get am with wetin dem get. as for the brothers that go after them, good luck, i aren't trippin. i am only mad at low level under developed minds like apache77 who owns 2 gsm handsets under a tree and saying "i have my own biz", story! from his comments, it implies that the reason we work so hard is to spend the money on the next girl that wants it; very idiotic i must say. thats why ppl like him cant affect their society, not even in the most insignificant way. to all the good 9ja babes, i got no issues with u but our eyes have seen wonders in the name of "u must marry a nigerian oooo". many have gone home to pick wives only to come back and those girls show them oba. havent u notice the steady decline of nigerian men that come home to pick a wife? infact, alot of the guys now go to look at their old sch album to find a certain so and so that was a good girl back in the day and try to reconnect with her because the devil he knows is better than the angel he does know. why do we have all these problems? simple, the foundation of true relationships have been corrupted. how come our grand fathers and grand mothers had a better relationship than we do? simple, they had a better foundation for their relationship even if the marriage was arranged. so pls, money is always a good thing but if it determines who u r or what u give to ur spouse, sorry for u oooo.


FYI: the value of a true woman/wife is clearly defined in proverbs 31, read it. if u dont believe it, then stop praying to God because u and him are not on the same page. wisdom is known by her children.

@ apache77

go listen to the song "rock star" by Nickelback band; at least it explains how the most rich people think of the girls that make money their romance lubricator. below is the lyrics for the chorus of the song.

Cause we all just want to be big rockstars
Live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
with her bleach blonde hair
and well,
Hey hey I want to be a rockstar
Hey hey I want to be a rockstar

and we all know what they meant by the "girls easy"

below is a url to the song and a video. listen to it and educate yourself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?search=&mode=related&v=J7SUP4seBL4

no mind the yeye boy, na small pikin dey worry am. hin manage reach 18 con think say hin don get plenty sense. yeye dey follow am