₦airaland Forum

She's a highly emotional person. Next time you see her crying, join her and cry, you won't die. After all you love her.

Whatever rocks her boat.

PrinceJoeWan:
In Africa mostly Nigeria, our Pastors are our therapists and they spiritualize everything.

This is where the problem is. Professional therapist are trained like specialist to handle a particular area of your life.

This means that if you're having relationship issues, the therapist who would be assigned to help you out would politely refer you to someone else if after your sessions on relationship, you tell him/her that you're battling with alcohol, drugs, betting..etc. They know their speciality and they stick to it.

But in Nigeria, one pastor would want to tell you how to run your business, manage your family, manage stress at the office, manage your studies as a student, tell you who and who not to get married to, see vision and prophesies for you, keep asking you to sow seeds and make donations for problems he has no solution to...etc. You would end up becoming slaves to them, cos at that point, they'll literally be controlling every area of your life and you would have very little success to boast of.

You're very right when you said they spiritualized everything cos that's exactly what they do. They know that once they tell you that God showed them this or that you would believe them more. The average African is a mental slave to religion.

What you need is discipline not deliverance. If you were in Europe or America you'd be advised to see a therapist not a pastor.

My advice...change your cycle of friends, change they way you think, identify your goals and use that money to work towards achieving them, dream big, life doesn't end beneath the skirt of a woman, look for a responsible mentor that would be ever ready to motivate you back on track whenever you feel you're going astray.

Is it wrong for a married woman to receive money from a guy ?

It's wrong cos you're giving the impression that your husband isn't taking care of you.

As a married woman, you must learn to restrain yourself. Those girlish attitude of forwarding your account details to every and any guy you come across should be the first thing to get rid of, or else your marriage might end before it even begins.

In 10 years time, if he stumbles upon this post he made, he'll definitely feel ashamed of himself.

How about your husband's mom, is she still alive, if she is, you can tell her to come. If she isn't alive, you can look for a female relative from his side to come. It shouldn't be difficult.

As for your mom, just look for one excuse to give her as to why she shouldn't come. You can tell her that things are hard and you guys don't have much money to accommodate her, that you and your husband want to manage what you have. She'll stay back.

Kuda...they never disappointed me throughout the naira crisis.

A lot of Nigerian girls between the ages of 16-25 suffer from low self-esteem a lot. Even with your flat hips and nyash, if you're confident a girl, discard every atom of self condemnation and have a wonderful heart, men would flock around you.

yemi1504:
This is not a great team bro! I don't know where you got the idea that they are a great team! A great team can never be goalless in almost 3 matches of football! Just stating facts!

Like I said we don't have any active striker. We should just struggle and finish top 4, then go for strikers when the transfer window opens.

yemi1504:
What form are these ones maintaining with no goal in close to 270 minutes of football? You are joking!

Manchester United started this season poorly. It's even a miracle that we are where we are despite the fact that we don't have an active striker.

We have a trophy in our pocket and a handful of others we're in a great position to contend for. If you understand football, you'll know that even great teams experience ups and downs once in a while.

dadabashua1:
If United lose this game, top 4 no sure again o,with their bad goal difference..wahala.

We would still make top 4.

Newcastle are in superb form this season, but Tottenham isn't. And they'll most likely drop points (especially in their away matches) before then end of the season which should push us to at least 4th place. Provided we maintain our form.

PoliteActivist:
But WHY is this barrenness thing more rampant these days?
And how do you reconcile this with our Christianity??

Possible reasons why barrenness is more rampant these days include..

1. Multiple abortions

2. Side effects of drugs that delay menstruation. (Some girls use drugs to delay or stop their mensuration if they get hooked up with a big catch who's willing to pay them hugely). This is common with runs girls.

3. Side effects of long usage of postinor 2 and other pregnancy prevention pills.

4. Side effects of over treated STDs. When you keep contacting and treating gonorreha, syphilis, staphylococcus...etc, with time your reproductive system would begin to misbehave. You might start experience irregular mensural cycle, awful discharge, inability to conceive...etc.

5. Excessive intake of alcohol and drug abuse. Most girls these days consume more liquor and weed than guys. Unfortunately, this has a very terrible side effect on their kidneys, liver and womb.

To your second question how we can reconcile it back to Christianity...

Christianity in Africa is just business, churches are opened for the sole purpose of making money for the headquarters than salvation. Pastors align their messages to favour people so that they bring money.

Churches theses days don't preach about chaistity, they don't encourage young girls to go into their husbands house as Virgins. What you should know is that churches are breeding grounds for sexual immorality.

From the choir, to the youths, to members, everyone has someone they're nacking. These days, people go to church for the sole purpose of getting a girlfriend and not to hear the word of God.

PoliteActivist:
You make a lot of sense. I once had a girlfriend, we had excellent sex life till she left. Somehow pregnancy never entered our minds. Maybe it is mind over matter

The reality is that so many girls out there are moving around with damaged wombs. During my NYSC, my lodgement and his girlfriend (who was also a corper) lived together for over 7 months nacking each other raw, and she never took in, not even once.

After NYSC, I ran into the guy in Lagos, we greeted and agreed to hangout on weekend, it was during our gist, I asked him about his girlfriend he told me point blank that they're no longer together that he couldn't marry her cos he feels she can't conceive. (The girl didn't know that this was the main reason for their separation)

This is why I don't condemn guys who insist that a girl gets pregnant before they can marry her, they're only looking out for themselves.

Look for someone she respects to talk to her, since she clearly doesn't want to listen to you.

boomii:
They are in love,4 yrs of courtship and ready to tie the knots.

If they've been in love for over 4 years and they've been having sex those 4 years, and the girl hasn't taken in, not even once, the guy has every reason to be alarmed.

Maybe this is what facilitated his decision that she must get pregnant before marriage can occur.

Before condemning anyone, try and see things from their own point of view.

This is a serious battle for 3rd spot. It would be a very tough game, but Manchester United would emerge as Victors at the end of the day.

You're just a slave to him, that's why he's treating you this way.

Imagine how you're begging after all you passed through. Who should beg the other?

Please walk away from that place with the little dignity you have left. Cos if you go back to him to work after all he did to you, it means he's right...you truly aren't a serious person.

Didn't you guys date before getting married. Sometimes when I read questions like this, I do ask myself if you guys just met each other and got married the same day. Cos this my dear friend is what you should discuss with whoever you're planning a future with.

Also, your wife doesn't love you. Once you're dating a girl, and she feels it's odd to spend her money on you, kindly let her be. Cos such girl can never support you financially in marriage. The problem with a lot of foolish boys today is that they'll feel it's normal, many would even defend the girl if you try to advice them and tell you that it's a man's responsibility to take care of his woman.

But when reality begins to hit them in marriage, they'll be the first to complain...

My take is that your wife doesn't love you.

Seek medical advice from a doctor cos women's body system differ. What might help woman A prevent miscarriage might work against woman B. (Women who have experienced pregnancy understand this much better)

You should also try to be soft with her, some women get extremely scared during their first pregnancy, they begin to feel that they might die during childbirth, or the baby might wash away...So just be calm when talking to her and encourage often, share names for the child with each other, cos it would boost her confidence.

You should also stop her from doing hard domestic work. If the domestic work in the house is so much, invite your sister or hers to come and stay with you guys until she gives birth. If you're living in a decking, tell her to climb the stairs gently.

Finally pray... Children are a gift from God, so tell God to stop the devil from stealing your gift.

virginprincess:
Yea,Helpmate to him Spiritually, Emotionally,and even physically but not financially because we women have our own major role we play in the home so men should plays theirs by providing for the home.

Proverbs 31:10-31
10 A good wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.

11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.

12 She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.

13 She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.

14 She is like the ships of the merchant, she brings her food from afar.

15 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and tasks for her maidens.

16 She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.

17 She girds her loins with strength and makes her arms strong.

18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.

19 She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.

20 She opens her hand to the poor, and reaches out her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.

22 She makes herself coverings; her clothing is fine linen and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers girdles to the merchant.

25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.

26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

27 She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:

29 “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”

30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.

Read this passage above.

According to God, there's nothing like men's role and women's role. The two have become one. So it's the responsibility of both of you to keep the home running.

Verse 16 says she buys a field...this means investment. You can't expect your marriage to succeed if you can't invest in the man you claim to love.

If you say you're a Christian, I'll advise you to stop reading the Bible upside down. Cos God made it clear that a man would leave his home and be joined with his wife and both shall become one.

This means whatever was yours now belongs to both of you, and whatever was his before he married you now belongs to both of you. If you choose to buy a land and build a house for both of you, you're not wrong cos heaven sees you two as one.

If you keep separating yourself from him and expecting him to take care of you, the devil would destroy your home and heaven would hold you responsible. Because you broke your own union. So stay away from social media's interpretation of marriage and follow that of God.

virginprincess:
1Timothy 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

During that era, women were strictly forbidden to work. Their primary job was stay at home, give birth and groom the kids.

There were no schools, no universities, no expensive house rents...just build a tent and you're good.

Our era is much more different. You have to send the kids to school, you must provide for them, pay house rent...etc.

That same new testament said women shouldn't talk in churches, they should be quiet and allow men do the talking. Why aren't women respecting that command? Most of those words were for their era.

If you fold your hands as a wife and throw the whole responsibility on the man, even God would be angry with you, cos you were created to be the helpmeet of the man and not to become a burden to him.

Persephone1:
Very big problems.

Getting the two is the best option. Great peace and enjoyment 😊

Yea

I thought this clown was arrested. Why is he still posting, or is it that the Finnish authorities don't care about the security situation in Nigeria?

Persephone1:
Until you are rich but miserable in marriage then you will learn not to see things from a perspective. What I see wrong with the family is lack of proper planning.

Love is as well important in a union.

Exactly. Money is as important as love if you want a successful marriage.

If one of both of the two are missing, there would be problems.

IceColdVeins:
You saw Agbara and you still mentioned Lagos-Ib express route.
Agbara is on Badagary road

The OPIC I saw made me feel they're the same....cos I I know I do drive pass OPIC on that express way.

I just checked Google maps and discovered that the OPIC on Lagos Ibadan express way is OPIC events center. So the one at Agbara is obviously where he's going... which means you're right.

This was why I even advised him to use Google maps in the first place.