₦airaland Forum

I endorse him

U are enjoying now ooo

Wait until fuel starts selling at 350 by next year then the mother of all hardship will be unleashed

Richpet85:
Please do not mind my english consider any error as typo but I honestly needed a sincere advice.

My marriage will be 8 years by September 2022. The journey of marriage has not been rosy and sometime I feel I made a very huge mistake by marrying my wife. I met her in April that year, we date for 6 months and we finally got married Sept same year. Prior before we got married I took her to meet with my siblings since my both parents were late specially our 2nd daughter who her husband sponsored my secondary education. She was cool with my family and never raised any concern during this period of courtship.

Suddenly a night of our wedding everything changed. That same woman that took care of my family as hers turned into directly opposite of who she used to be. To cut the story short, she started dispising my family and the thought of their sight irritates her.

She started by complaining about my sister's son living with me before we got married, her mum and other of my siblings to the point that anytime my eldest sister visited she will leave my house with tears.

My wife also ensure she send all my siblings and relations away from me and my house no go area for them. But what confuses me was that she doesn't behave in a similar manner whenever her own siblings or her mum visits our home. Her behaviour towards my family has destroyed the joy we once had as siblings. The marriage has produced 3 kids of which my last child is less than a month old. Anytime she put to bed her mother has always been the one coming for OMUGOO. None of my siblings can come to my house because of her attitude towards them.

I can't tolerate it further am dying silently as am typing this msg her mum, her immediate junior Sister are in my house and every where is very peaceful. If they were my mum or sibling my house would have been burning by now.

I made conscious effort to kill and ignore this feeling but anytime I see her mum and sister. I feel very depressed in my own house. There are other ill behaviour she have which I can tolerate but seeing myself separated from my siblings because of my wife is my greatest Marital night mare.

I am sincerely fade up with her but my kids are my greatest weakness. The thought of leaving my house and go far away from her or rather travel abroad and leave there permanently has recently overcrowded my mind. But I can't stop thinking about my kids, their future and what they will turn into if she is to raise them alone.

Don't forget I have provided her with everything needed to be comfortable in marriage, house, cars, business etc mostly importanly I am not cheating on her, I don't smoke, I don't keep late night and I don't have friends because she has sent everybody close to me away from my life.

I need a mature advice and no insult please.

I am emotionally trumatised and feel so depressed.

Just listen to yourself talk you are loving her family while she hates urs n cuts them off completely.

Now place ur right hand on ur fore head and shout I receive sense now in Jesus name now.

She is ur husband forget about who is providing in a marriage, once there is no strong will in a man, u can't lead a woman.

Imagine complete house wife riding u, what if she was working n earning bigger? U for be her cleaner.

Man up or manage her like dt with ur excuse

Babsojimjim:
Dear All,

The write up below is exactly what a friend is going through from his wife. Please what sort of action can he take?

Despite, all he has done to please his wife, called Reverend fathers and pastors to counsel them both, his wife is still indifferent to him and is threatening to quit the marriage, citing accumulated pains of the past.

Currently, she says she wants to go back to her parents house else she will die or commit suicide. The man called her parents, and their advise was that since she is his wife, he should decide if to allow her leave his house to come and see them (parents) or stay in his house that the decision is his as the husband.

At this juncture my friend is confused and dont know what to do again.

Even the unmarried friend of his wife who came to stay with them is not helping matter at all as she seems to be enjoying the challenge between my friend and his wife.

Please advise needed. Thanks.

Allow her go immediately

Marriage is not by force, the more he holds her the more trouble she will give him.

There are things u don't beg for and love is one of them.

quote author=Amebong post=108572306]All my life it's actually my first time to experience this sort of thing. I have been dating this girl for a while and things have been going well until we decided to knack. On that faithful evening, we knacked and sat and talked like two matured adults and talked.
The next day babe called me and was like I should stop talking to her and any kind of intimacy we had shared should be forgotten.
She even said she has a serious boyfriend and I should stay off her life.
I was shocked really.!!
What went wrong? Was I just used and dumped.?
I think she just wanted my body! Girls are farking cheats.!!![/quote]U were horrible in bed she was disappointed

Just move on n stop whining

U should be surprised since u have not coached for over 5years.

He ll start taking bribe from players to invite them na today

AntiMCU:
If he's 40 years and not yet achieved, then he can remain single all his life: nothing bad in that, after all marriage is double struggle for a man from humble background.

As regards all these "assets" talk you folks use to qualify some women, it is total hogwash. 99.99989 % of women are hypergamous, seek comfort and still wants the man to provide regardless of the fact whether she has her own money or not. In fact, the so called "assets" don't exist.

There is no guarantee you will not be poor for life simply bc u choose to remain single for life to evade poverty. Alot of things in life has no guarantee.

It is not of him that runnet or of him that willet but of him that God showeth mercy.

There is always a God factor in life, work hard but don't forget to pray hard too

tensazangetsu20:
It's better to be 40 and single and poor than 40 and married and poor.

There is no guarantee you will not be poor simply bc u choose to remain single for life.

It is not of him that runnet or of him that willet but of him that God showeth mercy.

There is always a God factor in life, work hard but don't forget to pray hard too

Supreme145:
True boss but the situation of things in this country is already out of hand, it's a gamble I'm not willing to take.

Avoid liability and marry an asset. Nyansh n boobs no be asset. What happens if u are 40 and not yet financially bouyant?

Supreme145:
There is this motion that giving birth to children is an achievement in this country. I see young guys in mid and late twenties rushing into marriage while they are barely standing on their feet. From someone that comes from a family of 10 I'm sure if my dad is given a second chance he won't give birth as much children again. Let me share some of my experiences as regards giving birth without proper planning or sustainable income.

I've a neighbor in my compound, he's 32 and in his final year in the university, I can hardly have decent conversation with him without hearing about how he wants to get married. I would always remind him that he's living in a one room apartment, still a student without a strong source of income, but he would counter me saying that he can always start small and grow with his wife. Moreover when he gives birth he would have an investment.

I've have another friend that was a classmate in secondary school, he graduated the year I got admission though he had some issues with his results. One day he called me that he's married and I was surprised, though he is an artisan into all those parapets and pop stuffs I know he wasn't financially buoyant enough to carry a family. The last time I visited him he was looking malnourished and unable to sort out his issues in school almost four years after because according to him any money that he gets already has a pending issue waiting for it. He's looking far older than his elder brother who's still single, he looks 38 when he's just 30. He consoled himself by telling me that even if he doesn't have money he already has two kids which he sees an investment and a great achievement. Meanwhile they are cramped into a single room apartment and none of the kids are enrolled in school.

Last week while we were training in the evening, an argument broke out between two young guys. I was just by the side observing what was happening, I kept hearing stuffs like....why you dey argue with that guy? you no know say na person father he be? that guy don born two children o abi you think say e easy to born, na big achievement be that o. Now this is a guy that is about 25 years and has no sustainable means of income, he works in peoples farms and other menial jobs to make ends meet.

My next door married neighbor has become a torn in my flesh, he's always borrowing from me without paying so it's obvious he's struggling financially, factor in the constant arguments with his wife due to shortage of funds all the time. I once asked him why rushed to get married without a good source of income and he bluntly told me that he had always been broke while he was single and still broke now that he's married the only difference is that he can boast of his kids as an achievement unlike when he was single that he had nothing to boast of.

I have no issues what so ever with how anyone choose to life their life but considering the economic condition of this country now bringing in kids without proper plans is not the way to go. If my dad had given birth to maybe 3 kids I'm sure he wouldn't be stressed out the way he is now and the resources used in training 8 kids would be better managed on just 3kids.

Personally I feel that one of the surest way to perpetual poverty as a young guy is to get married while struggling financially. Like one of the examples above, he cast aside his personal development and aspirations just to cater for his family. Supposing he's still single I'm sure he would have cleared he's outstanding school fees and maybe get his certificate.

Well since I'm still single and still struggling I don't judge anybody, every mallam to his kettle. As for me no marriage till I'm financially stable enough to afford at least 3 bedroom flat, a small car and substantial savings. It would be an abomination for me to bring a child into this world to pass through the kind of life I had growing up.

.

If u have a productive woman u love then u are good to.

U can get married and have ur children gradually and build together

proxillin:
So much fun at the wedding. I noticed something. And this is not the first time.

The Bride was just an average looking lady. I don't want to sound rude by saying she is ugly. Despite the heavy makeup, she is still what she is.

But the story is, all her entourage, best lady, bridal train were beautiful straight girls. Her friends are so gorgeous. I kuku mingled with 3 of them exchanged whatsapp numbers. And they are telling me they are single.

I keep asking, why are guys always marrying these average looking girls? Who marries these beauty queens? They are always friends of brides.

Or is it me not getting the gist?

Most of the beautiful ones no get sense, character and are mostly slay queen that are unproductive ( no job, skill or business acumen). Just waiting for someone son to bankroll them

Every one is now a Facebook comedian, poverty and unemployment at it's highest now

SUPERPACK:
But she just did what the male SUG presidents before her can't do.

How can SUG be donating to VC? Very illogical probably imposed by VC

Greed

Why didn't you use P2P on binance bc the guy probably offered more naira for ur dollars? Next time think more of guarantee n security

dreside:
I want to do redo the DNA but it difficult now cos the girls dad ask her to take the boy to the father since the dna test says it wasn't mine. It will be difficult for me to have access to the child. The boy has my eyes, nose and lips even the shape of my head sef.. Am just at a cross junction cos I don't know what to do and its really affecting me.

Until DNA says it's yours u are talking nonsense. It's only in 1891 ppl say such nonsense in 2021 DNA test is final.

Why does he even mean the world to you when DNA says it's not yours.

If u desperately need a child marry another woman n get many.

dreside:
I would brief the whole story as short as possible...
There was this girl we use to date but broke on so on my birthday is make celebrating with me and we had sex. Which she left the following day. I realise she was pregnant after about 3 months though she didn't come straight to me. Meaning she claimed the pregnacy to another guy. Fast forward she gave birth to a boy june this year and i got to see the picture of the child after about few days. The child look so much like me and I demanded I see the child which she refused and I demanded to carry out a DNA test. After about a month she later agreed saying she felt the child was mine after she gave birth cos the child look so much.
I was the one who figured out where to carry out the test, I paid for it due we were asked to come around 10am. We didn't carry out the test until 5pm in the evening. I went for peace of mind which cost 125,000naira at a centre in Lagos. The result came out and it stated negative. The child's DNA and mine does not match. Everyone were waiting for the result including the girls parent. Everyone have accepted the result except me. The girls family also claimed the child look so much like me but since it was me who called out the DNA then they have accepted the result.
I was shocked and am still in shock. The boy is 6 months now and still looking so much like me cos i saw the child recently. Everybody I showed the pictures of the child could see the resemblance.
I don't know which to trust,should I go with the result of the DNA or should I still feel something went wrong cos of the resemblance. Am confused.
I just wanted to sort out issues about the child before he calls someone else daddy.. The dna test i did has caused so much issues

Conduct the test again in 2 different places to take your final decision

Michaelbjune:
is it right to marry a Lady or a woman that is 2 or 5 years older than me please l need your advice thank you

If she is an asset and not an old liability then u are good to go.

Also remember that women have sth called menupause n once she is in menupause child bearing won't work.

If u are interested in child bearing then any woman above 38 is a no no.

No Never

If your father is Dangote why not
4.5million is like 20k

Are u serious

Mille:
Exactly what I was thinking. Of what use is opening a business for her if I'm not getting any benefits.

Mehn, I was shocked she did that and it was the main reason I lambasted her. My daughter only takes breast milk and adult food. She'll rather take water than cerealac. I already told my wife I'll never forgive that in my life.

My friend set up a business for her wife hoping the woman will be contributing significantly to family upkeep but the woman refused telling him she will only contribute if she wants that he can't force her. Imagine lol. She was even trying to make shop rent his additional responsibility alone.

The business was blessed and booming but caused serious strain in their marriage she leaves house 8am n back by 9pm Mon to sat, abandoning most house duties and almost always too tired for the other room.

If u must open biz for her you must discuss ur expectations with her to avoid quarrelling.

Lol

she doesnt believe in supporting his man financially.

you are wasting ur money opening a business for her except u dont mind if she doesnt support ur family from the biz.

whatever u do never ever go broke otherwise u will see ur ears with ur eyes.

Have plans A to F for making money n different reserve funds for the family.

By the way 95% of women are like dt, it's difficult for a woman to support their husband with their money.

In ur case i am shocked she let her daughter go to bed hungry, women don't play with their kids

taylormed2:
America
Finland
Israel
Denmark
Norway
Italy
France
Hong Kong
The list goes on. Price of fuel in Nigeria is amongst the cheapest in the world rn.

How much is minimum wage in Nigeria compared to the other countries?

Gaddafi1:
Obviously fuel subsidy will be removed in 2022 and PMS is expected to be sold at N350 per litter. Nairalanders, how do you plan to cope with this increase considering the fact that income is not going up.
On my side, I had to take a painful decision of trading off my beloved 6 cylinder engine Sienna and got a corolla which consumes less fuel. I can't come and go and kii myself.

I already have a Toyota Corolla.

The problem is that it will increase the price of all goods and services

AntiWailer:
She said her boy was a day student and all u could conclude is this thrash.

If the incident happened over the weekend and the boy never mentioned the boy so why will you conclude he was involved.

I hope nobody accuse u people wrongly. You will understand the stupidity in assuming the first news u hear is the truth.

Some are even making conclusion that it was because she is a single mother.

Men like you grow up and will eventually abandon the woman. Your reasonings are very faulty.

Being a day student doesn't make him innocent infact it could mean he was the one that brought the poisonous substance they gave Sylvester. It's a cult group n nothing stops a day senior student from entering boarding house bulling him during daytime. The woman should wait to be exonorated by police investigation before talking about public apology

DonBenergy:
You are still living in the 90s

Lol � ok be giving urself hope until reality hits u

Wasted 6 years

DVM is useless you in Nigeria

Congratulations on ur graduation though

If u disobey school rules and regulations, there will be penalty

Cooking is a life skills

It's important she learns how to cook

Smoothbabykong:
Hi guys,
I need your honest opinions about my relationship.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for quite a while but I don't know what is happening at the moment.

The problem is this, we both live in the UK. We have made plans to get married and we have plans to start up a business in Nigeria. The truth is that she kept some money with me and I used it to sort some debts out but was planning to give the money back to her when she is ready to leave for Nieria.

What really happened was that there was a certain money given to me by another to help him send down to Nigeria. Out of trust, I told another friend of mine to handle the transaction but unfortunately it all went sideways. So I had to use the money with me to sort the debt out while I recover the other from my other friend.

My girlfriend has been asking me for the money and I lied to her that it's in my account but there has been sort of a problem with it which she believed. The day she was suppose to go to Nigeria, she still asked about it and she told me if I was busy my friend (she knows the guy) can pick up the money for her because she needs to sort some things out enroute to Nigeria. I called my friend and told him to lie to her that the money is with him and I will know what to tell her till I can recover the money from him.

Later that day, she called me and was crying that I betrayed her. She told me everything that happened to her money which means my friend must have told her. She hung up. I tried calling my friend, he has blocked me. Lots of things were through my mind. Dont know what to do. She sent me a few messages and blocked me on both WhatsApp and via calls. When she got to Nigeria that same day, she unblocked me. She told me I have to pay and I said yes I will. I admitted I lied and I tried to explain to her why I lied. Its been a week. I have tried apologizing twice. She read it and ignored me. I told her send me the account she wants the payment. She didn't reply. Fortunately I have her brother's account number and sent her 70 percent of her money and I sent her the receipt too. I only managed to get that amount after selling my car off with a few gadgets and electronics in my house.

I don't know whether to just forget about her or to wait till when she is ready to talk.

She has done outrageous things in past which I have overlooked also. I have even resulted maybe she has another person with in Nigeria and I should just move on.

Thanks for your opinions

Ur tenure has ended
Move on if she is no longer interested

So sad

But honestly money and connection can do anything in naija