₦airaland Forum

LiegeMan:
Anger And Vengeance Is Taking The Best Part Of Me

hello nairalanders,

Sorry to disturb your peace but this has been going on in my mind for long and I really need suggestions on how to overcome it. I gave in to ire/anger and it's gradually taking the best part of me since I made a little discovery about my wife's past and how she lived her life while in the campus. I will try and make it as snappy as possible in order not to make you spend much of your time on my case.

Now, it goes this way, my wife came from a middle class family and she attended one of the best and prestigious higher institutions in the country, they're not too rich and they're not poor, infact, their family name can't be in the same sentence with poverty. She had everything she needed and lived her life to the fullest while in the campus, she flirted with and dated the best guys in the campus, she visited many night clubs and other exuberant and flamboyant life style that pertains to the campus.

Now on my own part, I attended one of the Colleges of Education that littered our country,
I did everything all by myself, I sponsored myself throughout my stay in the college, I did all manner of odd jobs to survive, sometimes, I would miss lectures due to lack of cash, no one to assist, all these limitations made me not to pay attention towards the opposite sex as I was busy struggling to survive and hoping unto God for a miracle.

Right now, all I am feeling is anger, ire, all I want now is vengeance knowing fully well that while I was suffering and struggling to survive, fasting without praying, carrying bricks and block from one floor to the other, jumping from one market to the other hawking my wares, that my wife was busy somewhere enjoying and partying away her future, right now, I want to have my revenge, I want to live those life that I wasn't opportune to live, I want to flirt and have fun with many ladies both young and old, I want to visit as many night clubs as possible now that money is flowing in, I careless about the consequences and how she may feel, these are exactly what I'm feeling now.

this can't keep troubling me that's why I brought it here for suggestions and elderly advice.

You are a kid

Everyone's wife was once other men sex mates, except for those that married as virgin.

These days most ladies date for money n have several sex mates dt fu ck n pay them, now it doesn't matter if she lives with her parents or not.

They will easily hook up with a man online n go n bang him for cash.

This is one fact every man has to deal with as long as she is not a virgin.

Take a trip to our tertiary institution n u will see most ladies living with men for 4 - 7 years doing all wifey duties.

People do change over time, provided she can still have kids just deal with it

Myzubby:
well my candid advice is this
if you are not certain of what you are going there to do better stay in your own country
some are making it right there in Germany while others are not . So it will all begin with the purpose for travelling . Are you travelling with just a hope of making it or do you have a concrete reason for travelling?

.

Almost every one travels for greener pastures, that much is known

LordReed:
According to the Bible the god's love is conditional or else why would he need to forgive you your sins.

U only need to accept Jesus n he loves u unconditionally

duyox2004:
I hate it. I’m 41, never married, no kids.

I’ve been close…twice. But ended both relationships when they were caught cheating.

I’ve dated several men since then, most older than me, and they seemed to be in no hurry to even be in a committed relationship. Which is crazy to me that these men are mid-40s and still trying to hangout with the guys and party. I met a whole guy group of friends in Houston 2 years ago…all single, all 36–45 years old. They were throwing house parties during the quarantine…parties!! ��

When I was in grade school, I was told to get a degree, don’t get pregnant, just enjoy being single, make friends, keep dating, and the right man will find you.

Now that I have two degrees, traveled the world, developed hobbies, and avoided pregnancy…my doctors are telling me to just be a single mom because I’m running out of eggs as I type this message. �

I beat teenage pregnancy to be considering single motherhood at 41. �

Damn you, parents, counselors, pastors, and everyone who gave me that advice. I can’t get that time (or my eggs) back. I hate being single at this age!! ��

A fool at 40 is likely a fool forever, just continue until 65 then u will learn the hard way

Hathor5:
Do you agree?

I am watching a series and in one of the episodes a couple goes to see a marriage counselor. She tells them that marriage is not about unconditional love but an agreement to show up the best we can. It is meant to challenge each spouse to bring out the best in them.

How useful is this kind of advice?

Only God can love unconditionally

proclinician:
Mine shows p0430 and p0420. I use 11litres for 85 km highway. It's lexus es300. My cats are present and I don't know if o2 sensors are the culprit.

3.0l V6 engine

ur ride is okay

Kelvin30286063:
I have a problem with my car and I need the help of experts in the room but I'm going to start by explaining how it all started.
Last week, my car oil life reached 5% as indicated on my info screen and I decided to service it before it reaches 0.
I decided to take the car to a mechanic that I know is very good cuz I also wanted to fix an overheating issue I had. I haven't used him before but I've heard so much about him.
I called Gazzuzz to supply the oil as usual but he told me the price has changed. The oil is now 30k plus 4k transportation fee.
I decided to check the mobil at my location and they also told me the price is 30k. I thought to myself, since the price is the same, why not just buy it here and save yourself the stress of Lagos drivers and the 4k transport fare.
I bought the Mobil 1 oil,
Long story short, after my mechanic serviced my car, he told me the oil did not gauge. It was then I check the keg and noticed that they sold 4 litre to me for 30k instead of the 5litres I usually buy from Gazzuzz.
I wanted to go back there and rake for them but of what use. They are just going to say that that's their price. So I let it go and told my mechanic to wait and let me find out if I can get 1 litre of the oil and send it over to him.
I called Gazzuzz again and he said he doesn't have the 1 litre and he doesn't know if there is 1 litre of premium mobil 1 oil.
I said okay, I guess I'll just buy another 5 litres, he told me he's at Benin and can deliver it on his way back the next morning but I have to wake up early to cross him at Ore.
I decided to do that, but I woke up late that morning, infact his call woke me up. He told me he was on his way and I knew immediately that I won't meet up.
So I called my mechanic who is also at Ore, told him to help me send one of his boys to receive the oil from Gazzuzz but I received the shocker of my life.
HE SAID I SHOULD NOT WORRY, THAT THEY HAVE SEEN THE 1 LITRE AND THEY BOUGHT IT AND TOPPED THE OIL, IT'S OKAY NOW.
I was like, are you sure it's the same full synthetic mobil 1 oil. He said it's the same.
Okay oo, that means my problem is solved.
But when I got there and started my car, immediately I got the error: CHECK OIL LEVEL on my car screen. I told the mechanic and he said maybe I should clear it. I cleared the error and it stopped.
But as I was driving back, any time I speed above 100km, the error pops up and starts flashing.
Till now, no solution. I check the oil level and it gauged but I'm beginning to suspect that they didn't use the same FULL SYNTHETIC OIL I bought to top it.

I'm even scared to use the car now cuz the engine is 800k and I can't risk losing my engine because of small error.
Please gurus, what should I do now. Should I drain the oil and reservice the car or what.
Im even confused cus all my search online said my oil pressure sensor is bad but from the story above, I don't think that's the case.

Exactly the problem I solved on my Corolla

Ur engine is dirty with alot of particles that has blocked the oil pump n filter.

Get a mechanic to wash ur bottem plate, oil pump and change oil filter. Drain the oil and filter it using a sieve n put back or buy another if u are bouyant. Ur problem will be solved.

lanrexdo:
Needed

check on jumia

Dozieson:
is it the same cel you reported the last time? P0171?

Yes it's back

Dozieson:
Bro, your oil is dirty. have your mechanic remove the bottom plate to empty all oil? if no do so ASAP. again, what about the screen protecting the oil pump? it should be clean and washed with fuel too. which oil are you using for servicing?

total quartz 5000 20w50

DMechyy:
Tell your mechanic to remove and clean yours first, or change like he advised, pointless if he's buying used. You can do a resistance test on your own.

If after installing, you still have the oil light blinking, then you might have a bigger problem to deal with

ok
Do you know any modern mechanic in Enugu dt performs full car diagnosis. i have CEL on too

My oil pressure light comes on and off frequently on my journey of about 150miles.

My mechanic has serviced the oil pump.

Note no engine sound change n oil level remain full no change or shortage.

What could be the problem

2004 Corolla, my mechanic is saying we need to change oil switch n maintains I can be driving it like that in the mean time that there is enough oil in the engine

Dozieson:
I mean Engine is getting old

About 168k miles. It runs quite okay

te author=Dozieson post=106785940]

Engine is getting oil[/quote]How do you mean

Mmgboji:
Clean your plugs with iron brush, clean your MAF sensor with MAF cleaner. Clean injector nozzles. Clean Fuel filter. Erase code. Your car should be running fine again. I have had this codes on my camry and this were the remedy.

i have replaced all spark plugs and car is running fine but shorting oil periodically, i suspect valve cover gasket.

see changed plugs

amedualiyu:
P0171 for Corolla is pure leakage. Manifold gasket is the major culprit. Am 99.9% sure. Remove the manifold gasket and apply some gum, that should fix it. That was what fixed my 07 Corolla(P0171) after changing fuel pump and mass airflow without solution.

I am thinking you are right bc the mechanic that replaced my plugs commented about some oil leak from the top bc of valve cover gasket leak

Dozieson:
Is the check engine light still there? Rescan

Usually it takes time to come up if I reset the ECU by removing battery head sometimes up to 3 weeks. Check engine light is off for now

I will rescan again

ote author=diportivo post=106714426]


everybody with a scanner thinks himself a mechanic

First code na fuel pump


second one na coil 1 circuit.....circuit.very important[/quote]Fuel pump was changed recently
.after changing all spark plugs with NGK which were badly worn-out there is noticeable improvement on its movement. Still test running. MAF was also cleaned

seanfer:
For the second code start by looking at fuel pump.... Please let a competent rewire or mechanic to check

Fuel pump changed recently

seanfer:
Do you experience hard starting?

No not at all

Just sluggish movement at times

I press the gas pedal harder for car to move well which is not normal

Hibiscus62:
Hi nairlanders, I need your help.

I started having cough seven days ago and I as well took some over the counter medications to sooth it (Erythromycin, Augmentin and a liquid one) . But it seems while I take the medications, the cough worsens especially at night. The cough is very dry and doesn't produce anything and it's mostly triggered by a funny sensation at the back of my throat.

I don't really experience any other symptom apart from loss of appetite.
I'm afraid of going to the hospital to avoid being kept in the isolation center for the suspicion/fear of covid.
Could this truly be Covid?
What should I do?

Mods, please my post needs a wide view.

.
If after 1 week of taking erthromycin 500mg 1 x 2 daily and couflin n u are not okay then it's seriously serious

Dozieson:
For P0351 ; it could be spark plug or ignition coil. Is the car shaking on idle? Ignition coil is expensive so you have to test it before concluding. Your mechanic or seller can test it with a spark plug and battery connected.


For p0171;

See below link

https://www.fixdapp.com/blog/p0171-toyota/

Check for leaks and dirty air filters.
Service fuel pump
Check for any disconnected cable/wire harness

wow
God bless you abundantly, this was really helpful

McSaviour:
I don’t know why I born in to this evil country!

Lol it will Soon get to 10 years better go and learn a skill or trade.

Even first class graduates are now learning skills to survive.

Help with interpretation of this code in 2004 Corolla

The scan man said I should change plug 1 n 4, and my 2004 Corolla should be fine.

Problem the car is not moving as fast as it used to

That is why u should avoid marrying a liability

ChineduChinedu:
Please help, I need advice, I am very confused man, I don't know what to do in this situation

There is this girl I met in Lagos she help me find a house in Lagos from there we started dating.

I Asked her to marry me and get pregnant for me. Later she got pregnant for me.
She started disturbing me about marriage rights.

On the wedding day I discovered that she has 3 children for one man.
I have asked her several times even before she got pregnant she keep saying no

A day before the wedding, one of my uncle called me and tell me that one babalawo said that the woman I want to marry has 3 kids already.

All that day I wasn't myself I woke her up at midnight and forced the truth out of her
She admitted and start begging me to forgive her, she said she has been looking for the best time to tell me. All this are happening on our wedding day, she beg me not to tell anyone that it can be secrets between me and her àlone, I insisted that I must tell my people from my state enugu to Lagos

My people discouraged me and said I should thank God for revealing this early.
That's how I cancelled the church wedding.

Court marriage 30th September
Church wedding 2nd October
But Before that wedding day, we did court marriage, I told her that I don't want to do court marriage because if she cheat on me I will divorce her and loose my half of my money she got angry, the first day we didn't talk, 2nd day same, Then 3rd day she start packing her loads, I beg her to stay that we have few days to church wedding she insisted that If I don't do the court that I should cancel the church wedding that she can't trust me without court marriage

We did the court marriage, without my parents consent cuz it didn't come from my heart, her junior brother is the one that sighn for me in the court

I don't know what to do in this situation oo

Her first son is 13 years
2nd son 8 years
3rd girl 6 years
And now she is pregnant for me aa

Am 30 years while I don't know her real age

We have lived together for 8 months before I could discover this
And during this period we have been together
She controls me alots and that make me sad
She shout at me too
If ask me to do something for her and I refuse it becomes problem

Please what do I do ?

Three children hmmm was she a widow?

Are the children from different men or one man

How are you sure u are responsible for her pregnancy?

kolemark22:
It is factual that the case of unemployment in the Nigerian sphere has led to the unwanted maltreatment of members of staff of private organizations.

Some business owners especially private school owners are becoming more and more insensitive to the plight of the members of their staff in our present day society.


I work in a school where I am paid 50k as an academic staff. We did not get our pay in August because school was not in session.

However, wen we resumed in September, the proprietor decides to ease our stress by giving everyone 5k. At the end of the month, without prior notice he decided to pay us 50% of our salary.

We were dumbfounded by this act. With the level of disappointment, my HOD decided that we should return the 50% as a sign of our displeasure. About seven of us obliged and returned the 50% salary.

When the proprietor learnt about it, he was furious. He ended up relieving the HOD of his duty. Sighting that he was a threat to his establishment.

For the rest of us, we will know our fate tomorrow whether we will stay or leave.

I hope I stay though because I I prefer to leave on my own and not asked to leave.

Returning money you have been paid is a dumb & drastic protest strategy in a private school. This is private primary/secondary school I guess. Hold on to your 50% and dialogue with management

If u don't like the school treatment you resign n leave. Most times it's soldiers come and go but barracks remains. It's a pathetic place to work usually ie private primary n secondary school.

Karlman:
My In-laws are doing their father's burial and I don't have money kindly advise.
This is really a serious matter as I have only two weeks left.
Elders in the house kindly advise a brother.
Thanks



Chief Lalasticlala ... Mynd44 Dominique and all mods kindly uplift this post as I am on very hot seat please.
Thanks

Ur father In law

You are going with a cow and other things as culture demands. Times are hard but at all at all na him worse pass.

Even if na 50k use it and arrange somethings n go.

You can't say u don't have money n come empty handed na lie. Even 50k means I don't have money