₦airaland Forum

Ent3rpreneur:
I believe you saw the topic and rushed in to reply.

Read the post again, and thank me later.

I biliv u were the one who posted the post under the caption......."the wrong place to look for a wife is church

I looked into your mind and I understand ur inner mind, its not only females who indulged in wayward life , so it will be prejudiced for blaming one gender alone for immortality. It took two to

If ur story is true, she will kill u wen she realise u make millions, wen bury, she will bring man she truly love, they will be marching on ur grave to and fro, spitting on ur soul.

I tink you guys should start looking for wife in the shrine, you guys quickly blame girls based past, who spoiled them? No be guys!

97% of guys involved in wayward life in the past too, even after marriages higher percentages of men still involving in immortality. What good for geese I think also good for gender.


So many single guys will be having multiple gfs even to the notice of such girls yet you guys want faithful gf, some go ahead to date his close friend gf, even 2 blood sisters yet u want faithful gf.

Hypocritical opinion ,pls reverse ur opinion its too hypothetical.

Renegadefrank:
Why do you need a pastor's permission to date a person? Unless the rules of joining the choir clearly states otherwise, date who you want.

The question of whether dating is Godly if the pastor doesn't know or approve is just plain bullshit. You have control over your life and who you date. Pastors are religious leaders whose influence only go so far. You have the final say even if they offer disapproving opinions.

It's just sad to see how bad loads of people depend on the words of religious leaders today, some of whom have terribly abused their authority

Oga swimming in ignorance and arrogance! How will it be in ur eyes if youths in a church are expressly permitted to be sleeping with one another, and such youth will mount pulpit to preach/ minister through song! If you are happened to be ordinary member of that church , will you follow what he or she is ministering?

Meanwhile, its not pastors who they take permission from, its Almighty God that forbids them not to indulge in such immoral acts, its not only choristers that God forbids , even you ordinary member its a sin to sex before marriage.

Billionsclub:
it is a capital no. There is no vacuum in life. cheating does not happen in a day. it begins from friendship.. once you are already preparing for marriage, develop a continuous flow of communication with your spouse

I salute your thinking, let them go to government offices and see how two staffs started from being friend..... Close friends........... Office romance........from there marriages having issues and scatter.


The way all those ogas and pastors fucking people wives are alarming and these started from unnecessary friendship that developed to intimacy and sex.

Testosterone, oxytocin and devils are factors which human being cannot control and more often overpowered human beings to having sex to expected persons.

GboyegaD:
People that have good lives ahead of them don't shout the redpill like you. It is in the act and they respect women. Take your time to learn more instead of finding people to join in your misery.

Bastard kid u re taken care will cut off ur head one day!!!

GboyegaD:
It is people like you whose wife's brings Bayard to because all you think and see in a woman is sex. Oga, go get a life and focus.

If u get life you won't be talking like woman rapper, ......u re nairaland family now, go and learn about simp"

GboyegaD:
At least na my wife, I choose to do as I so please. You no need paracetamol for my headache na. Na people like you think say marriage na where world/life end.

But bastard will one day causing problems for family even outside household.

GboyegaD:
For you to still respond the way you did, it tells you are the one who lacks comprehension skills. That said, I am married, I know my wife, and I am not insecure like you. Learn to look for quality above quantity as that is what
gives you the rest you desire.

Go back for my last paragraph......we know type, even if wife bring concubine, its normal because of trust u guys had built, even when you watch pants and do house chore, it is kind of love and feelings you had developed for her, if she says she don't want to see ur people, ......wife must has say in marriage.

Oga u free ur wife while you entered cage.

[quote author=GboyegaD post=91844024]You are the lunatic here for thinking everyone has to succumb to your thinking.

That said, i handle my affairs my ways and I know whom I am married to as such, I am secured. My marriage wasn't based on gamble and neither did we choose to engage in things we wouldn't want to engage in post wedding.

I asked a simple question and instead of you to answer, you were busy going in circles and dodging the question. Anyways, enjoy your choice.[/quote......




I guess you lacked basic comprehension when reading. Maybe you should give it to any man who understand the tenet of successful marriage in you lineage for proper and detail explanations


Anyway there some people who welcome every child that wives bring into the family as biological kids!!!

IamDavid:
It's alright. Afterall in reality, it's all about boundaries. Once the boundaries are well set (in the minds/heart of each of them) there shouldn't be any problem.

Why involving urself in a very dangerous and risky adventure in first instance! $ince boundary can be shifted and encroached, why having boundary with such friend?


Choose a friends (female)with boundary less instead.

GboyegaD:
Does marriage implies a pause to one's existence?

How stopping to having male besties pause ur life ooo


You guys should stop hiding under one finger. As you are growing older in life, you will be passing different stages of life, each stage of life must define how you will handle it, provided you want to succeed in that area. ...

The type of friends one moves with when one is a teenager must different from wen one is adult, ......the one you closed with wen u are single must be different from wen u married, ( male or no male).


..........I will advice u to allow your wife to follow her male friend to nightclub and wen she is coming back home around 2am, you should be the one to open door for her.....................at least its a free world, marriages is not synonymous to slavery.



..lunatics everywhere.

GboyegaD:
Why marry to someone you cannot trust? Marriage isn't a do or die affair na abi na slavery?

why cant u be close friend to the guy u are dating, you want to eat ur cake and also have it. let us learn how to hold on to the principle/ettiquete of marriage.

22 yrs, five bed rooms duplex couple with exotic cars........No phase/stage of life again when one is supposed to "struggle and sweat" for tomorrow to sweet.

Ayemileto:
Your case is kind of different.

In OP's case, all this happened to an 100lvl girl.

If she's among the people who get admission early, then she might be between 14 - 16 years old when all this incidence happened.

If the above statement is correct, then she should be between 17 - 19years now.

And her parents rejected her after finding out about her pregnancy, which forced her to move in with the guy. So, she might not be legally married to him. More like live in partners.

So, unlike your own case, she might truly need the help and not in for a fling.

Also, I suspected she might have dropped out of school already.

But she destroyed her own life by herself and it's not really the OP's responsibility.

So, like you rightly stated, he can help her this time and give her a strict warning.

Of course mine is different but almost same scenario, in fact that woman needed assistant from me much more than OP, Why?

1.Am working while OP is still student.

2. Am fully matured and understanding farrrrrr more than OP when it comes to marriage and family.

3. Of a truth, that woman I narrated her story truly needed financial assistant but her belief was that asking money from me would be direct & authoritatively if sex was involved.

If there is a financial crisis in a family, I think its husband that is supposed to go out to hustle and beg for money outside and not wife.

Even if wife is in tight conner to do that, it's supposed to beg within the limit (her family, female friends, her husband relations) which will not bedevil her marriage. Going to an ex to beg for money when a wife still married to husband is totally not an option.......... Anyway that's my opinion.

NigeriaB:
I met this girl when I was in 300L[my second degree though]. I'm now in 600L. How we became friends and even started dating was very funny.

After a hectic day lecture, I needed to use the ATM within the campus before going home. There she was standing in the cue and immediately my eyes caught her, I liked her. The next question on my mind was how to initiate conversation and to get her contact given that so many persons were on cue and it could be embarrassing if the right approach wasn't adopted. She is the kind of girl that will catch any guy's attention, her height, her facial beauty, her shape, asss (lol) and all. There was no way I could have walked up to her; she was in company of friends and you all know how such things could be. It seemed practically impossible for me to make that move but fortunately for me she carried a transparent bag which housed her books and other items (she was in 100L at the time and doing some registration). There was a hard cover note book in that transparent bag and I could sight a phone number written on the edge of the book which I strongly believed was her number because that was the only notebook in that bag as I could see ,more so, given that they just resumed lectures. So, I quickly memorized the number (lolz) before she could finish withdrawing.

Later that day, after much rest, I called her ,she picked, she was so friendly and I of course was encouraged. She asked how I got her contact and I told her that I stole it , while she was at the ATM ; she laughed softly and I could at the instance feel the lines below my eyes go wrinkled.

While we continued talking, she told me at some point that she is in a complicated relationship but I didn't give up. We continued to be friends. On a certain Saturday, she called that she was coming to visit me (I stay off K),
I was super excited. That day she told me that she likes me and that we can step it up from just being friends. That was how we started dating..(we actually kissed that day..lolz).

While dating, I told her severally that I wouldn't sleep with a woman who is not my wife which means I wouldn't have sex until I'm married. This didn't go well with her because I realized she is the type that loves sex so much. Many times she had got herself naked before me, seducing me and all but I wouldn't give in. Her desire for sex is actually beyond what I can handle and if I continued in that relationship, one day I'm sure going to compromise my stand. So I had to let her know that I wouldn't be able to continue in the relationship, that I still have many more years to spend in school and I'm not even certain that at the end of it we were going to get married, that instead of me waisting her time, it would be better that we just put an end to the relationship while we remain just friends. She cried ,but it had to be that way because I need my wife to be proud of me and of course , heaven will stand pleased. We parted ways..

After we broke up, I didn't hear from her again for like 3 weeks, then I received a phone call from her and told me that she was pregnant and that she wanted to see me. Over the phone, I asked "how"? Since when?.. she was crying at the same time and i had to ask her to come to my place so we could talk. She came, narrated how after we broke up, got involved with another guy and that was how she became pregnant. She wanted to go for an abortion but I advised her against such move. I asked her to call her mummy and tell her the truth, that her mum will know how best to go about the whole stuff. I guessed she did, but her parents wouldn't have her in the house anymore because of shame and the indecent signal it may send to the other siblings. She had to pack to the guy's House and that was how they became husband and wife till date. She gave birth to a son and they are together as husband and wife till today.

The guy is a diploma holder and works in a photo studio ( the guy lied to her when they first met, that he was a graduate and that he was awaiting NYSC, I'm sure it was the reason she accepted him even though I could judge that she was desperate for sex).

Even though I'm still a student but God has been faithful such that I don't lack and everyone around me knows that I'm liberal.

She has been making request of me, asking for financial assistance and many times I have reached out to her.

Just yesterday, she asked that I help her with some money, that she is broke and her husband doesn't have anything, no food for her child. I was really touched. But is it proper that I continue doing this?

Please advise needed! I just want to avoid every form of temptation, is her husband aware that I give her money? What if this becomes an issue?

Please what should I do?

If you have watched Legend of the seeker, you will know this..

THE GREATEST HARM SOMETIMES COMES FROM THE BEST INTENTIONS. ~Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander.

If the way you narrated the story was exactly how it was, you will end up having sex with her and perhaps destroy her home, meanwhile it will be a terrible decision if you go that way, a lady you took very bold decision to abstain sex from when she was single and very much attached to you, now end up sexing her when she married and yet you still single! Why taking such decision in first instance?

I will advice you to give her and warn her that this *particular gift" will be her last gift and that she should focus on her husband and if she needs assistance outside her husband pocket, let her solicit for it from her siblings and her in laws...


The main reason for asking help from you is that she still wants flings" from you..............women use different ways to seduce men.


NB. Last year November/December a married woman near my house kept on asking money from me and I was reluctantly given her, it got to a point that I let my wife knew about it, so I planned with my wife that she should tell her that I wanted to give her rice for Xmas, the woman came to my house and my wife handed over it for her. Since then, this woman doesn't demand a dime from me.

Why! She knew that I have discussed with my wife how she had been demanding money from me, if truly it was because she lacked she would continue asking from me but she wanted flings,in other to have direct access to my pocket. Because I exposed her trick! She fled!!

TheGoodJoe:
Even if she did something wrong, she is still his wife. He could support her a bit financially.

Ur wife will be sleeping with other men and will still have strength to be given are money? I hail oooo


......of a truth u are good Joe.

If its true the woman narrated her story like this, I smell foul play on the side of the wife, ....if you don't walk around dirty or mud places..........

He can take care of siblings, the wife did something wrong.

Farki:
Who told you nairaland is immune.

Just search for Casalindal's profile, you will laugh tire. .
Reading through I almost felt sorry for her.

Well but holier than thou are too many on nairaland 90% of people are hypocrites even thou its faceless forum, go to Facebook and see how people express their mind, anyway
on nairaland , am not surprise, many are underages and immature minds

cococandy:
My married aunt (I always talk about her because I really miss her). Got sick and couldn’t work anymore or take care of her home. Guess where she died, back in her father’s house because the husband couldn’t care for her.

Do you know why anyone was even slightly upset with him, it wasn’t because he couldn’t care for her (Men usually are forgiven for such) it was because after she came home to be nursed, he stopped caring at all. Even for his kid who was a toddler then. Yes the toddler of course had to come home with the mom. Dad can’t work and take care of a toddler at the same time we were told. Never mind that Moms do it all the time but we forgive him for not being able to do so.

But the moment he actually stopped calling, stopped caring, stopped asking how are they doing? Do they need anything? When can I visit? What does my child need? That was only when her family got upset with him.

I can only pass judgment on a cruel woman. But a woman who’s doing what she can with what she has will always get a “you go girl” from me.

What about so many husbands around you that their wives had problems and they stood by them until they got back to normal life? If they eventually died , they died in their husbands houses?

What about so many wives that because finances of husbands negatively affected, they left the husbands houses, leaving the kids for husbands and the husbands stood by them till maturity.

You *guys should stop thinking with bias minds when dealing with issues, you re free to offer whatever advice without being prejudice towards gender or religion.

If you don't refrain from this type of mentality, you will slide into embitterment.

bukatyne:
@ Neither here or there:

It takes courage and strength of character to take a stand whether it is popular or not once you are convinced it is the best decision for you and consistent.

I just started understanding that 'friendship with the world is enmity with Christ' after that.

Once can't choose God and mammon.

That's one thing I admire about Muslims: the average professing Muslim wants to stand out for Allah and not blend in to play both sides. Jehovah witnesses also hold a candle in that aspect.

Attach religions to individual character says a lot about ur human understanding. Muslim or Jehovah witness has nothing to do on one's libido pls.

Those two religion sect u mentioned are the worst hypocrites I ever seen, If you want to knw you will knw.

VVIP:
Equality doesn’t have to do with title and position, men is d head of the family but not far superior. Chikena

Someone is a head yet he is not superior . ur head need reset, go to dictionary or Wikipedia pls,

You are free to allow ur wife to lord over you, it had been happened and it won't stop on u

VVIP:
If I should understand u better, women must not have equality in marriage??

OK ooo. Let woman be head of the family!

donbachi:
If u keep today holy,u go die by partial stroke?

if u don't keep today holy you shall destroyed without repair Amen.

Having convinced lady to this level can you Still made of mind your mind not to go ahead?

in Nigeria settings , we largely ignore checks and balances when putting people in positions in government and this will continue making occupants of various offices to corrupt, either efcc or agf is not supposed to be in charge of actioning properties recovered by govt agencies.

there is no way efcc will auction properties recovered by her and not expecting efcc official not to involve in shaddy deal wen disposing it.

Web2020:
You can imagine! Because of the scrums you are eating from your master table. Open your eyes, until some of you travel to other countries you will not realise the damage this people are doing to Nigeria. Why on earth will Tinubu use monies in two vans to prosecute election's. Whereas in his street people hardly feed once a day.

What is your own contributions?....... OK let start from your dad, what is/was is contribution? Where was ur dad when Tinubu and co were positioning themselves in corridors of powers! Oga stop lamenting, wailing will bring depression.

deboysben:
he has long surpress a particular sophiscated region destiny.

You should be thanking God that the mountain is being pushed away.

In what ways did he torment ur destiny sir? I will advice u to work harder to position ur destiny to shine

Even though am not a fan of Tinubu, no single Nigerian, dead or alive has ever raised ordinary people into lime light and reposition their destiny to greater, you are free to mention anyone that beat his record


Oga stop fighting someone that God has made already. Try to achieve 1 percent of his achievement instead of attacking! stop fighting ur creator.

With the kind of power vested on that position and enormous money the person in charge will be seen couple with toes he will be stepping on,
No single person will be in charge of EFCC that won't succumb to temptation

In Nigeria settings, we largely ignore checks and balances and that's more reason why soooooo much corruption in the society.


Absolute power corrupt humans

[quote author=jesmond3945 post=91591691]Op you made the right choice. Don't ever allow your family to guilt trip you. Your wife's behaviour is normal, there is a baby to feed. Your family might have turned their back on you but God would never turn His back on you. That time you are using to go to watch match why not use it and hustle or look for job. What is your qualification. Begging on nairaland would not help but would only prolong the evil day. This is emergency bro. Launch out and hustle and God would see you through.[/quote

What elder sees on seat kids won't see it even if he climb on top of a tree! Perhaps the parents have seen (foretold) that marriage btw the two couple will bring hardships & trouble and that's y they rejected the union vehemently!

A marriage that non of four direct in -laws are in support of, one need to think twice.

What I cherish won't kill me and what will kill me I won't cherish it


And for you the adviser, ur advice is good , I hope you will support him now as a fellow nairalander.

VVIP:
So u support the motion of man being the almighty?

The fact remains that if 2 or more people are in an association or gathering, their must be a leader and that is wat distinguished man from animals. if not anarchy will be order of the day !

In every organization, the leader sets rules and standards for followers, meanwhile in human kingdom its acceptable from time immemorial till now, man normal occupy the headship of a family.

For the women, in as much you want to be called a house wife, it means u want to be under certain man called husband, u must ready to stick to his standards, provided you want happy family and you want your kids to have good moral upbringings.

That's why you have to study a particular guy u want to spend the rest of ur life with during courtship or dating, If you study ur self and u discover ur type is not a kind of lady that can be controlled by any man, .......its better to you stay away from marriage. Its has never be a compulsion for a woman to get married.

I wish an ex friend can read this and takes it serious, the guy can do anything..... Anything for holes, I wouldn't surprise in future if he rapes his daughters

I cut ties with him when I noticed that he can't hold secret shared BTW two closed friends whenever he sees pussy, he can bring down friend just to sleep with girls, in gathering of 10 females and probably 15 guys, he will like to sleep with all the girls one by one, as if he is a dog. In fact the guy is an untamed dog.