₦airaland Forum

ijeoma2728:
Hi everyone I My 12months old daughter has refused to eat. In fact since 6 months,  her weight  gain has not been impressive.
I was feeding  her mostly Gerber oats, cowandgate rice (blue pack) mixed with  soybean, because she hated formula.
At 9 months, for 3 days straight she rejected her food. Took her to the hospital,  when I saw the scale, I was shocked! Her weight was 6. 2kg.(At 4months she weighed 6ķg @ birth 3. 7)
Hmmm ran some test and every thing was fine her pcs etc.
Did scan tooo. Perfect.
I was told to start giving formula and pap (maize guinea corn nd millet) even if it&apos;s in small quality. <br>
I was feeding her every 2hrs, also at night. It wasn&apos;t easy. <br>
Now at almost  12months  she's weighing  8. 5kg, since yesterday she has refused to eat her pap or any other food.
All she want is tiny plantain, Pringles B.Milk and fanta. 
Pls I need advice and suggestions.
Going to d hospital 2 morrow to check her throat

P. S don&apos;t know if it hereditary. I was a picky eater as a baby.
Pls 4give my typos

Ah. No, no, no, no. First mistake was bringing in the junk food: Pringles (salty), plantain chips (more salt and some really questionable hygiene) and Fanta (sugary). It's ruining her tastebuds. Please stop that immediately. If she likes plantain, fry dodo with egg and spring onions. Give her watermelon rather than Fanta, fry sweet and Irish potatoes and serve with fish and small stew. Start slowly and she will fight you o, but something will happen. Keep with the breastmilk for now and slowly be giving her adult milk (whole cream though).

Tojued:
Onegai how you take find out all this info self?

I actually woke up very early this morning to call her. When she first started the thread, once I figured out her old moniker, I started reading. I'm upset for her, because I was once this girl: constantly making poor decisions and in my own case, I blamed God.

OLAADEGBU:
Why should I not have an abortion? What reasons are there for why I should not consider having an abortion?

Because you have a blue "m" beside your name, which means you're a man. So therefore you having or not having an abortion is bigger than Nairaland, it's actually an international medical mystery

soonest:
I prefer federal hospital anytime anyday

Is Federal open to everyone?

So this is an open question to everyone: which is better, if you had choices, for birth and antenatal:

private
General hospital
Federal hospital

I used to think GH was better, because you have consultants there and yes, they don't pamper you, but I'd rather a safe baby than be pampered. And I've heard too many tales of how a private hospital, seeing you in trouble, refers you at the last minute to a GH.

Jumaii, just have fun for now. Don't put pressure on yourself and start asking "will he love my child, is this the one?". Just go on dates but try not to end up in bed, so you don't mentally wake up one day, on a bad day and think you're a slut. Because it is very easy to blame yourself for a lot of things. If this guy ends up being the one, great! If not, you had fun and to feel like a woman and not just a mum. kk?

I wish I could attend this.

imurboss:
Thanks ma'am. As in it really calls for a serious concern,right now i take oroki to help was away some of the belly fat .I believe with that and some excercise,it would be fine or so i thought

@Onegai, our trainer. when do we kick off

Tomorrow morning

Duh duh duuuuhhhh

thorpido:
Don't give up just yet.
The tab is probably the only internet enabled device she has.I don't think she needs to dispose that.

Yeah, but that guy beat her up, I don't want her holding onto anything from him. And I don't want her surrounding herself with comfortable, material things. Sometimes you have to see life for what it really is so you can value things better. No petting, no arguing, no more excuses. This is old-fashioned but it works.

I know too many Mojis in my life and the ones who ran off from my harshness and went to listen to kind, soothing words went on to do even stvpider things. Even I didn't respond to sympathy, so I'm not going to do what I didn't get.

MizMyColi:
Ma'am calm down.
Please

The tab she has on her might be the only internet enabled phone she has. Moreso, selling the tab might not be the best of options.

Moji26, please, are both your phones internet enabled? Would you consider selling one? Is it the Tecno tab that is giving you battery issues? How new is it? Can it fetch you a substantial sum?

Please reply.

Also, please I beg us..
Let us speak to/about her with some iota of respect.
Not because she deserves it or not, but because she is human....her bad choices does not make her any less.

You know what? All this is getting pretty annoying. Allow me to leave this young lady to you guys.

Jaybee3, thorpido and ifyalways, let us leave this matter, we have become monsters o. Abeg free this matter. To your tents o Israel And to think that I had called to say I was sleeping on mainland next week to go and see this babe.

Thorpido, getting rid of the tab is not about money, it's about her showing she's willing to do whatever it takes: let's start getting rid of all the things that are of the past. I'm not going to be an enabler to silly decisions and pet anybody till we see some progress. Get rid of the tab, beg her mum and then we start.

moji26:
im sorry pls, I need to come in here, I dnt ve any nanny, there is no nanny with me, d old woman with me is d mother of my ex dat I'm pregnant for

Listen to me. Open your ears and listen to me.

You need to get your life in order. It is wake-up time. No more excuses, go and sell that tab NOW. Go and apologise to your mother and you better kneel down for her. I'm going to call you in a short while and I want you to be quiet the entire conversation. We are going to have a talk. Is your whatsapp working now?

tearoses:
Onegai why Ibadan?
Behave yourself o!

Not a joke o. We have dealt with this sort of situation like this several times. What we did for one was to keep him in Benin, where his expenses were low and encouraged him not to father a nation (since we are the ones paying their schoolfees).

Ibadan is a change of scene, no-one knows her there. She can reinvent and become respectable. There is less room for the crazy psychological competition you will find in Lagos, no having to solve your mistakes in front of people who know you. Older people and people who don't build fences around themselves will be able to guide her without her constantly fighting them. She needs that stability. A change of pace and scene. Think of all those stories where a pregnant or wayward child got shipped off to Grandma and changed and started anew. And 10 years later, the turbulence is over. She needs a Father figure, so let her find one and marry him. Because she needs him devoted to her cause, not mentoring. One day, we won't be there. Adoption if she refuses all other help because you don't want another child growing up in this situation, in the U.S. it becomes a cycle from parent to child.

Jaybee3, Thorpido and ifyalways, please ask her mum if they have family outside Lagos.

TV01:
I also recall OPs other post about her misadventure in SA. And, I don’t actually consider this to be a charitable case. She has a place to stay, and a wider family who she is with and posses some means.

But that’s me, I’m in no way seeking to inform what other people decide to do or not do in this case. The reason I’m here is because of the, without mincing words, nauseating way some of you think you can take dictate to this woman just because you may render some assistance.

What gives you the right to control her fertility, mandate she gives her child up for adoption, or forcefully has an abortion. Who died and didn’t rise again and made any of you God? Can you even hear yourselves?

She should marry a “mature man” and relocate to Ibadan? Is this farce? And then when she acts out the destructive behaviours and the marriage is strained or potentially fails, you’ll prescribe “7 day, 4 step program to winning back your wife”?

I mean a liability is one thing, but a loose canon, something else entirely. Have you thought of lining up the “mature men” amongst your own kinfolk?

I guess the US coercing African countries to adopt “progressive gay-rights policies via aid and diplomatic pressure, is a good thing then?
Who made you arbiters?

If a man or group of men sat down to make decisions around womens reproduction based on criteria they considered suitable, you’d all be up in arms, yet here you are, crowing over a woman in a mes, even if it's self-inflicted?

What objective measures make you think you can mandate the measures you’ve forcefully presenting? Yet when we present no sex before marriage and intact biological homes, you rail against it and scream people are trying to impose their beliefs.

And you have all but judged her to nothingness. Yes she has, speaking delicately, been wayward and done things beyond the pale for most people, but that accords you no rights over her, or makes your anger righteous.

Neither does rendering assistance if you freely choose to do so. Be that financial or life mentoring. And Onegai, reading one or two of your post would actually suggest you may have an ulterior motive.


TV

Yes I do. I have a very strong ulterior motive. But I will sit my hands down and leave her to her fate, whilst you sit your butt somewhere and moralise and do nothing and be acting judgey. Please sit tight.

Dexterush, since you're free today, go and see the thread in Family Section. The girl even posted on this thread last year and I think tried to join Pregnancy thread in August.

A new moniker opened a thread, saying she was pregnant, her toddler was starving, she was starving and too sick and had no money to go to antenatal, infact she just wanted to commit suicide. People started panicking and trying to attempt a rescue. Me, I suspected something and started checking her background. Sure enough, she had 2 old monikers.

Do you know this babe's mother sent her to SA to go to school, she got there and shacked up with some guy (whom may have been an illegal alien there) and he convinced her to start doing prostitution? She got pregnant for that one, people begged her mum to take her back to Nigeria, she got here, used her first moniker to be fighting her mum and blaming her for her predicament until everyone got angry and she retaliated with insults, instead of her to listen to their suggestions on how to care for herself and her son. She even wanted to return to the fellow. Meanwhile her mum provided her with nanny but she said she couldn't work because the nanny closes early and she's having morning sickness. (I sh.it you not). She didn't want to help her mum in her shop because "people will talk that she travelled and is back".

2nd moniker, new man. That one has remarried and lost 4 wives (yes, 4 wives!) and she shacked up. He bought her a tablet and put her in Beauty school (which she proceeded to quarrel with them and stop). All through these 2 years in Nigeria, this girl did not have a bank account and did not have the sense to get one, even as she had a small son. Then she got pregnant for man no2 and that one beat her and kicked her out. Instead of her to have looked for even a trade, she came to NL to try and do olosho work in her 1st month of pregnancy. Mum took her back but is angry.

She's now fighting her mother and instead of her to go and look for work, came to NL to threaten to kill herself if we didn't give her money. She thinks we all owe her something and our job is to provide freely. She didn't think to sell the tablet (she has a phone too) to raise small money for herself and her son and her new baby. She is still blaming her mother for her woes. It is everybody's fault but hers.

Abeg I dey hail una here and please, please I must discipline all my children. Kai!

thorpido:
@first bolded,she's frustrated.She cried all the while I was there.

@second bolded,I'm too sure about this.She's having a frosty relationship with the mum.The mother is actually threatening to send her out.

I actually thought sending her out would be a good idea but she would stvpidly jump into the arms of another bad guy or simply take up solicitation. She is like all those Black American girls called Shanaynae or Lakeisha. What about Gele tying, she can earn a decent income from it every Thursday to Saturday, all she needs is a chair, an umbrella and pins and she can pitch her tent at every open field there's a party going on in.

So they don't want to feed her and her son?

tipsyjules:
Please mamas am very sorry for posting my BS here. Na mistake o I wanted to come and register my presence o. Abeg muna forgive me o.Good morning all.

We understand. You were very excited to join us!

Evacroft and tipsyjules, please bring your registration forms for Newborn thread filled out and your dues, along with passport photos. you will submit it on Fridays here.

dexterush:
Why this place dry today,today that I av plenty time where is our captain, are you still waving and smiling back

My dear, I've been preoccupied in Family section since yesterday morning in one very stvpid matter. The story is just too insane and it has made me swear to buy bulala and flog Baby E starting from today. Because God forbid she ends up being a total slowpoke in this life. How are your babies?

To all my mothers here who are hustling, struggling, working their fingers off, counting every kobo and doing all they can to care and sustain themselves, may God bless you and enrich everything in your lives. Because you are wonderful in every way, from the smallest curl in your hair to the biggest toenail on your feet.

MizMyColi:
I'm weak

You're now the Patron Saint of Lame ducks, lost causes and Entitled twits

(don't worry, we'll all forget soon )

Sanchez01 there's food in the house, she's fighting her mum and came here to drop that line and the other line about Suicide. If we give her a bottle of Sniper, she ain't drinking it.

Thorpido, thanks for this. But what do they mean, "follow any stranger anywhere"? Why can't she complete her Beautician course elsewhere? She has to show some responsibility.

Ifyalways they can register her for antenatal in GH Igando.

Sanchez01 there's food in the house, she's fighting her mum and came here to drop that line and the other line about Suicide. If we give her a bottle of Sniper, she ain't drinking it.

Thorpido, thanks for this. But what do they mean, "follow any stranger anywhere"?

DANZAK:
Good morning sabi mums, I posted the below yesterday and copied some of our mums as well for fast responses but yet to get any. I guess my post was not noticed due to one reason or the other.
Pls, I will appreciate it, if I can get answers or explanations for my concerns below.
I await the responses. God bless you all and your LOs.

@Onegai, thanks a lot for the encouragement. My baby is doing a lot better now. He has added 0.7kg in two weeks. Still has little difficulty in breathing due to mucus in his nose that had refused to come out(I have tried every home remedy I know, all to no avail).
Some said that it is possible the mucus was not sucked/drained out well at birth and that he will out grow it with time. Don't know how true that is.
He will be 3 months in two days time and still weights 4.5kg. I seriously want him to gain more weight fast. Can you suggest anything that can make this happen?.
Note: He is on BM and formula.

Cc; Ayolight, ALphahandmaiden, comtem2011 and all the sabi mamas in the house.

Just take it slow and stop stressing the speed of the weight gain. It's more important he is well and recovering. He will gain weight in his own time, don't do anything or start giving him anything.

Thorpido, please does she have that weird pregnancy sickness that Kate Middleton has?

sunsewa16:
So selling her phone would have been the best decision for her to start with to u,ur wrong,assuming she sold the phone then,it won'nt have taken care of her present and future predicaments,and by now the proceeds from the phone would have long gone,while her problems is still there and mind u only that phone is her access to seeking help and advice in any kind,either through getting a job,financial help e.t.c,but selling of the phone would have been better option if it can eradicate her problem and give her a leap forward,finally don't be a barrier to whomever that desired to help her,it is God that sees all that will punish her if she is faking this story,don't use her past to judge her,almost all human had unpleasant past,but since our past never brings us out to ridicule or get exposed,then it seems we don't have unpleasant past,the case of the unfaithful wife in the bible where Jesus ask who don't have a sin to stone her
is a typical example,those who live in glass house don't throw stone.

She is starving and her child is starving and her pregnancy is suffering, yet she has a phone AND a tablet. How many gadgets do you have? If you are a responsible person whom has a gadget that is not a necessity (and no tablet is necessary when you have a phone), what will YOU DO?

She has a nanny to care for her child, most likely paid for by her long-suffering mother, did you grow up with Nannies yourself?

She can actually get a salesperson or receptionist job or even finish Beauty school and make money. Banke Meshida, Tara Orekelewa, Bimpe Onakoya and so many men and women are paying their bills painting faces. What is stopping HER hands?

I do NOT freaking care if she wants to constantly take the easy way out in life, but she should stop bringing children into this world to put up with her silliness.

Mindfulness she has a phone AND a tablet! She has one necessary device and another for pleasure and she is saying she is hungry! She is refusing to do whatever is necessary to care for herself, her son and her unborn child. I told her to sell the tablet to raise money to at least be able to go for antenatal and she said it was the man who got her pregnant and abandoned her that bought it as a gift so she can't. HOW DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE?!!

A child is a wake-up call to responsibility.

jaybee3:
Exactly

It sucks that she isn't being realistic

We should only reward people that genuinely try not those that have a false sense of entitlement

It's hard to disregard her history of making poor choices hence why i've been going on about finding a lasting solution to her problem which obviously doesn't include money at this time

Money does not solve all problems

Find a widower in his 40s and marry her off to him, let them move out to Ibadan. That's the best solution. She doesn't want to work, she won't listen unless you're a man and she needs to be taken care of. So marry her off and forget about school. If she has enough sense to cook and clean, she'll be fine under that strong and mature man. He can make decisions for both of them. Just let the man understand her nature. People like this, this is the best solution, male or female.

Eketem, tearoses, fynbabe, keepingmum and blank, it's the same girl.

To slap person dey hungry me right now, chei. Baby no.3 will show up very soon and she will be helpless again. What do you say to this person?? Why won't her mum be angry? She did the exact same thing, tried to solicit for se.x here before she knew she was pregnant, instead of her to pick herself up and work. The babe is educated o! She's not in one hovel suffering with no options.

Mynd44:
I told someone yesterday (off NL) that the OP can be likened to a drug addict lookin for a quick fix instead of a long lasting solution.

She has not shown any commitment to moving forward with her life as she just wants to have a solition right now. No doubt she mentioned a miscarriage(abortion) for this same man.

I doubt she mentioned that the reason her mum is like this is cos she gave up on her. Her mum was even begged before she brougt her back feom SA.

Her problems need a well drawn out solution which will ensure she does not go back to her past life.

If you have had any discussion with anyone who has sold his/her body for money, they see a normal hustle as too tasking as the miney from sex is all too easy.

PS: I wouldn't rule out a drug addiction. Think about it

I was weak. We have girls in health section backing babies to look for work, myself I needed to buy some stuff from the U.S. for my child, I decided instead to teach myself how to sew by hand and she's there with a nanny even and she couldn't work. She started telling me "Morning sickness made me not work" and I was like "huh?!". Let Thorpido confirm if she has that illness that makes pregnant women not work (it's rare though) but I don't think she does. I don't know about drugs but this is all just entitlement.

Jaybee3, I agree with your decision.

I spoke to her:

1. After getting pregnant for the first time, (she was sent for studies), she came back to Nigeria in 2014 with the baby.

2. She did not open an account in Nigeria and still doesn't have one. She said she didn't have money to put in the account. I believe she even said no-one is giving her money. She's 26 years old.

3. She met the new guy and he started funding her and bought her the tablet. He even told her to go and open an account. He paid for trade classes for Beautician school but she had a problem with them and only learnt Eyelash fixing. So far, she has problems with both men, her mother and everyone.

4. When I asked her why she didn't find a salon to work, she said she didn't want to leave the toddler because the "nanny closes early". So I reminded her of several millions of mothers who back their baby and go to work.

5. She is blaming her mother for not helping her. She had several excuses for the entire situation. None of it is her fault.

I don't know about you, but I think we should only support her if she puts up the child for adoption and gets an implant for contraceptive. Because she only makes poor choices and this will happen again. And she's not going to take responsibility for it.

cc ifyalways, mizmycoli and co, I had to tell her she sounds more helpless than a 15 year old girl. She's not a serious person at all and she's educated. I think she wants money for business but I won't support her till she can show some sense. She's not living alone, so she's certainly not starving. She still has the tablet, I told her to go and sell it today. She startes saying the man bought it for her (you say you have a hungry toddler at home, you're starving but you're holding onto your nice not-necessary gadgets, she has a phone).

Thorpido her phone is working this morning. Please take her to GH Igando, let her do blood work and register for antenatal.

ifyalways:
Heck, some people do it as business. If you are so bothered you can go to ikoyi registry and rent-a-mom with 3 or 4 aunts to boot. They will come in ashoebi of any colour, steal the show sef and everyone will be happy.

The things you learn on Nairaland...

How do you even KNOW all this stuff

Sapphiredamsel:
I know one Moji Suliat, lives in igando and has a child from a previous boyfriend. I don't know if they are one and same, id confirm the surname from my mom now but her kid is 4 not 3. I sha hope it's not the Moji I know

Don't trouble yourself. If anyone wants to help the OP, they can send her a message. Her phone has been off all day, so I'll just assume this is over.

Kaboninc and Thorpido, your idea will need an accountant and a lawyer. Plus someone who has experience in either fundraising or welfare. Someone genuine (I know a lady, but she has her hands full with her own NGO). So that's somewhere to start.

rofemiguwa:
I love that hello song.hehehehe
Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello!
Hello onegai! Hello baby E!
Hello all beautiful mamas
Hello all beutiful babies
Hello hello hello hello
Hehehehehehe.

Please kip waving joor

How is my one and only Pristine?

dexterush:
One chance niyen,but you have to wave back
Set your on default to be replying her

and you have to look and smile at her whilst doing it or she will come and bite your nose.