₦airaland Forum

I did not do my husbands laundry before I married him and when I cooked it was because I was going to eat. I don't have to worry about dishes because my husband helps with that and with cooking and on the nights when I just do not feel like cooking dinner, we order pizza or chinese. How often do you help with chores and if she has kids now do you really think that a dish in the sink will be her number one priority? Get over it. I find it so amazing that most african married women I know will raise thier blood pressure just trying to do all the millions of things that they need to do and then some and it is amazing how alot of their husbands complain about how they are not delivering their end of the bargain.

Woah people. Let us be realistic. It is not that simple. The man wants his wife and children back. Is that so unreasonable. I have an uncle (very good friend of my dad) that moved to the states about 20 years ago. Has been busting his ass here and was also here illegally. He was able to go home to visit once a while back and the reception he got from his kids was cold. As a matter of fact the youngest child did not recognize her dad. Is money really worth the separation of the family. I understand the whole bread winner thing. She has been here for a few years now. Has she not learned a skill that she can use in Nigeria. She needs to be thinking at that level. Not staying here and being separated from that man and also the kids not being with him. It is torture. If she's living away from home from paycheck to paycheck then it is not working out for her either.

Is the man lazy or is he just rightfully frustrated? Your friend really needs to start asking herself these tough questions.

I think you should. You should express your fears also. I would not be able to live with myself if I knew sucha thing and did not tell my best friend. You could also talk to his wife if you are cool with her and see what she says. A best friend is like family

All men do not cheat. Alot of men take thier marriages seriously and work hard at maintaining it. People will be tempted including women. Your friend was selling herself to the highest bidder before she got married. Her husband probably knows that so he probably has no respct for her. If she had no problem sleeping with married men, I can guarantee you that her husband is cheating thinking in his head that she too is more than likely cheating also.

What is illiteracy? Do you mean an uneducated person? Some educated people are even dumber than , okay I will be nice. I would not have ever considered marrying a stupid or ignorant or lazy person. An uneducated person can definitely be marriage material. Afterall you can pay for an education, you cannot but common sense.

And how do you figure that women are to blame for all the failed marriages?

What a completely stupid question? Are you okay? Is your life so empty that you decide to pick on a whole population of people hoping to take the joke away from your short comings. Sorry it did not work. It only emphasizes the fact that you are actually a pathetic loser. Pele

Why should the woman not share the bills. Why would I even refuse to. Tommorrow they will shout for equal opportunities yet you don't even want to pay your own bills.

If he is violent, he has no business being in that child's life. Your friend is not very smart either. Why does he have to be there for the birth. If he is such a bad person how can she let him get that much involved. If she decides to get full custody of this child she will have to prove to a judge that even though he is violent and she is so terrified of him it made sense to bring him into the delivery room. She needs to cut him off now and file for full custody of this child. He is a danger to her and the baby.

You deserve to be locked up. How could you guys attack each other with weapons. Are you wild animals? You two should be ashamed of yourselves. I feel bad for you parents

She did not snatch him he left you but you know what? It is a blessing. Imagine that this happened after you married the idiot. Praise God my dear. He has delivered you from the thief by the wayside.

What does the color of the skin have to do with a romantic movie. Brown Sugar is one of my favorite romantic movie and it hits all the right spots. If I am in the mood to watch a romantic movie with my husband and I pick the movie you better believe that I will be pulling out Brown Sugar and not The wedding planner. No comparison

Instead of you to worry about getting infected with HIV you are worried about him getting some else pregnant. You need to set your priorities.

The fact that she said what money do you have that is not mine tells me that she did not feel like she was stealing the money. Why would you call it stealing if your wife takes money from your wallet? That seems strange. I take money from my husbands wallet all the time if I didn't get money from the ATM. He is okay with that especially since I usually work late and I am not comfortable at the ATM when it's dark. He just needs to go get some more if he needs the cash that desperately. I can't even imagine that leading to my husband calling me a thief. I think that is too harsh.

What a beauty. Enjoy her

Are you a Christian? If you are then she needs to leave that church. Marrying you will obviously not take her away from Christ if you are also saved. If that church has that much control of her life then you might as well be marrying the church also. The church will always come up in every decision you guys make. I am not saying not to marry her but if you do be prepared to deal with the over bearing church members. You cannot hold it against her after you marry her. This is the time to make those decisions. Think about it. Think very hard.

I thought Nwankego meant child is wealth, also I thought the same of Omonigho and Omisigho


My husbands name is Omokhefue and he says it means Child is wealth (Etsako). Omonigo is Urhobo I think

Honestly can anyone of us even make a hair on anybody's head. How can we now even ask a question like this. Ask a couple who cannot have kids such a question ans then see the foolishness of this question. I know it happens and it just goes to show how ungrateful people can be

Yes you can make her. Why not. Will you force her to go to school if she says she does not want to. Yes you will. You cannot force her to accept Jesus but you can make her go to church with the rest of the family. She does not get to make her own rules.

It's really sad is it not. Last year my cousins kids spent their summer in atlanta with my mom (They live in Nigeria). We were watching a movie and my niece gave an opinion which I thought interesting. Before I could even respond my mother yelled at her to shut up. My sister and I turned to my mom and let her have it.

On another occassion when I visited Nigeria in 2003, my aunty(this same cousins mom) was with me and we were going from enugu to onitsha. We had my other cousin in the car(about 12 years old at the time) trying to give directions becasue the driver ofcourse was not familiar with the roads or lack thereof in Onitsha. This poor child kept saying uncle go this was. Na lie o. My Aunty told her to be quiet. I'm like mummy (my aunty), she knows the way now, she grew up here. If not for that little discussion I had with her, she was ready to pay a motorcyle man to drive ahead of us to my cousins house. Meanwhile after my aunty cooled down my cousin took us right to the house.

There is just this thing with the older folks that it is the best interest of the everybody if the children do not learn too much. I am certainly not using that approach with my kids. They will have no problem speaking their opinions. I will encourage them to.

ohwofasa, what do you mean by presentation. How did he present the beating he gave her

I am shocked beyond words. He forces you to have sex and leaves you in pain. What is wrong with you deaar? Leave him not tommorow. Today. Do it now because he will kill you if you don't. But then again, I think you have heard all this before. I will pray for you but heaven will only help those that help themselves.

I don't get it. Why did you give her money?

practice. I have a cousin that was born and mostly raised in the village, you would never know though even though he started speaking english only as a young adult. He used to actually read a dictionary. My mom used to think he was crazy.
Just practice. You can also go to merriamwebster.com. It pulls up the word and if you are not sure of the proper way to pronounce a word, you can click on the speaker and it will pronounce the word for you. It usually has all the accepted ways that a word can be pronounced. I use merriamwebster online even though I have spoken english all my life. (merriam webster is american and most of the pronounciations they have are american but some words also have the british pronounciation).
You should not be ashamed because that will stop you from practicing what you are learning. Keep working at it. I am rooting for you. Later.

Even if she isn't your girlfriend, she's a lady, she sits in front. The fact that she is your girlfriend is even amazing. I can't believe that it's even an issue.

Don't be hasty in your decision. It might not be all about money. You said you were an undergrad when she left you. Maybe she was ready to marry at the time and did not want to wait for you to finish school to start working on a relationship that would lead to marriage. You guys still managed to stay friends even when she was dating other people. SO she atleas valued you as something. Also you did say "eventually" she left the other guy. Which means that she did not just dump him and run to you. She took her time. Did the guy lose his job and so she decided she did not need him? If he did not then she could just have easily have stayed with a banker. Weigh all the options. She might be the one for you but only you can truly know that.

Kind of makes me sad to see those young people that if given the opportunity they would be anywhere else but there. In a place like Nigeria and the way it is right now, most of them will probably not get the opportunity to succeed.