₦airaland Forum

My sister God is your strength. You have to forgive yourself for whatever you think you have done wrong. I know your sister is not holding any grudges. You can't get over it because you are blaming yourself when you should not. You both loved each other and I know that she does not want you to suffer. Try and be happy. Remember that the joy of the Lord is your strength. It is well.

Why can't they shut it down overnight and do the work then

It is funny that Lucrabasi will dog out african american's but cannot accept the simple fact that africa is a mess because africa chooses to be in a mess. Blame the white man for eveything and take no responsibility for the evil we caused ourselves. Did the white come to pur borders to steal people and enslave them. For the most part, they came to them. Traditional rulers were so greedy that they snatched innocent children from their mothers and sold them into slavery. Destroyed families and caused agony for families because of greed. We have no one but ourselves to blame for our problems.

Africa, it's now or never. When the Sonny Okosun sing that song. Decades ago. Wake up abeg from your slumber. It is a disgrace the way we are. Still blaming everybody else for our problems like a bunch of two year olds claiming "He made me do it". Abeg jor. I am simply tired of that mentality.

What nonsense. I don't even call my husband's older siblings brother or sister except the two oldest who are my parents age. The rest get the first name when Iam in a good mood and when I am pissed enough they should be happy to get a "hey you" or "dis boy"

Sorry Jaybee. I meant wifepalava

Jaybee seems to be full of stories. Why would a man go to Nigeria and bring back a woman that is not educated. Maybe he thought he could control her but she pushed back like he did not expect. Why would a woman who is not mentaly unstable just call the cops because you quietly walked into her house and absolutely nothing happened? And why are you guys even encouraging him to blame his wife because of the choices he made. Now you want to call her the agent of the devil when you carried your penis to another woman's house to do the devil's work.

I don't understand how it can be a man or woman's house when you are married. It sounds so stupid to me. My sister and her husband's home is 100% in my sister's name. One of our homes is 100% in my husband's name but most of our properties are in my name. I have a cousin in Nigeria that she and her husband have most of their properties in her name. It is so immature to say her house and his house. It is their house and if they get in a fight and someone has to leave the house then the man should.

It's not that serious. $200,000 ke. There had to have already been serious issues witht he marriage and she was probably planning on leaving anyway. That makes absolutely no sense

Exponent you can never make sense to people like that. Imagine Lucrabasi calling the average black american crack heads. Funny thing is he thinks that he is just spewing some serious wisdom. What a disgrace.

Prommy anybody who says that you are over doing it is just a heartless animal. I remember when I was carrying my son in my arms and we fell down the stairs together and I called the ambulance. I was hysterical. The police also came and they were even trying to console me. They told me that my son looks fine but I was so horrified from seeing my 5 month old baby fly out of my arms and land on the top of his head. It was too much. I cried and prayed all the way to the hospital and everything turned out okay. My husband came and met us there and he was worried but he was even more concerned about me because the baby was busy playing with the nurses and I was still very distressed.

My bestfriend lost a 4 month pregnancy and I don't think she finally started to heal until she had her daughter. She was so attached to this unborn child that I was the only one that she could call to console herself. It was so sad.
I gave you these two scenarios because I wanted to make you see that a mother's love for their child can be very intense. It can really be overwhelming.

Prommy you have to start healing from this eventually. If for nothing else for your mental health. It is perfectly okay to grieve for your baby but you have to make sure you stay healthy for yourself. I know no other child will take the place of the baby but God will make it right for you and time will heal your pain if you give it a chance. I will pray for you. Stay strong.

The fact of the matter is that all africans are here today because of the struggle of black americans that were here before us. Can we show some respect. The only person making sense here is girl22. If we really want to be critical, lets criticize our own NIgeria. When did the english leave Nigeria and yet we still complain that the white man did this and did that. So what would you expect from black people in America. The fact is that it is worse here for blacks. I too get upset when I see another black criminal on tv, it makes me say this fool has just taken the struggle back 2 decade but the fact of the matter is that even when it comes to "justice" it is different when you are black. I admire black americans, we can learn from them.

francessby what do you mean by who impregnated her. Whose business is it? Nobody. Did she take permission from anybody before the had the misfortune of getting pregnant to this son that had the nerve sha to throw her out of her own house.
It makes you wonder the kind of hell that she went through. If you come from a family were your own child can throw you out imagine what they let the husbands do.

Vigasimple you need to shut up. You must be an agent of the devil yourself. You have just made up a story basically accusing a woman of murder and the moomoo that even posted initially is going along with it. He and his stupid friend that sent his mother packing (I still cannot believe it) win the award for fool of the century.
I cannot believe that you are using the name of God to spread your wickedness and obvious lack of common sense. You are disgrace to God and the christian faith.

Emmydee I had to jump in because I sense that you really believe what you are saying but the fact is tha you are wrong. You should not wait for the government to change Nigeria. As a matter of fact the government alone cannot change Nigeria. Our probelm is bigger than just the government and money. It is the mentality of the people. That was my observation from my trips to Nigeria.
I noticed that even when the roads were good and that it was simply just a matter of waiting for your turn in traffic people would either turn a 2 lane road to a 5 lane road or simply just drive on the wrong side of the road. This usually turns into a complete standstill in traffic under the hot unforgiving sun and people standing at the center of the commotion scatching their heads and wondering what do we do now. It is almost embarrassing.

Another thing I noticed also was the work ethic in most offices even in the private sector. It was appaling. Let's be real. The government have their own responsibility and so do the citizens. It's just like me living in the states and saying that I will not save for retiremnt because I pay social security so the government must take care of me in my old age. That is the plan of a fool.

We have serious issues in Nigeria and nothing will change until the mind set of the average man changes. That is what I believe. Most of our issues seem to be common sense issues and then of course there are the big time issues that really need to be addressed. Just do not sit down and wait for the government to save your soul. All that leads to is laziness and bitterness.

Wokeyim what are you talking about. Is it really that hard to believe that there are people who would never consider that? For some people that is just as bad as abortion that you say is immoral to do but you can certainly justify trapping a man with a pregnancy. This really has nothing to do with who is more righteous.
How can you even want to marry someone when you know that you are going into it as a liar and a fraud. It's disgusting. Even to add to that, why would a woman want to marry man when she knows that he is doing it as an obligation. Marriage is tough even when you both love and respect each other. I cannot imagine what it would be when you cannot even respect yourself much less someone else respecting you.

If you accidentaly get pregnant and you love him and he loves you then that is fine. You cannot force it. SIngle parents marry everyday. Another man might even be a better father to that child than the one that was forced to be a daddy. If you are with someone long enough and they are not saying marriage then move the hell on. Na by force? If a man does not know that he wants to marry you and you have already spent two years with him then I suggest you move on. Life is too short.

RedHotChic I get your point and I am not saying that it is right to bash any gender or race. I am just stating the obvious.

I chose not to bother watching it. It is just incredible that a black woman would say that. It's just silly. Black women have always stood by their black men while black men have been degrading the black woman for a long time. The tables have only recently turned. Oh well we all have a right to our opinions abi

Nobody should fool themselves. You cannot trap a man with a pregnancy. You can definitely trap yourself though.

Chai. See yabbing. My poor country. They cannot even get a traffic light to work but they want to build nuclear weapons. No need to fear. It is well.

I am nobody's "bro". I am female.

I personally believe that our culture is the biggest problem with africa today. So I guess I will agree that the way we "manage" the family is one of the problems we have in africa.

noetic what is your point

The parents are clearly at fault here. How irresponsible can you be to leave your kids alone with a tutor. No one should have private access to your children at any age. It is your responsibilty to protect them. I can't even believe that nayone would consider doing that in this day and age. I will not even allow most relatives alone with my kids for more than a few minutes.

Your first mistake is living with your inlaws. You have to leave that place. If you are going back to school why don't you just go and take student loans to cover your housing. I have never seen anything good come out of living with inlaws jare. As for your husband, he is an ass. Sorry but I have to say it. Did you confront him about the money he sent to his sister. He should not even be sending a kobo to anyone at this point when his wife is basically homeless. You need to do whatever it takes to get out of that house. He sees you as helpless that is why he is behaving the way he is.

You are no fool. You are educated so I don't see why with a master's degree in the united states you cannot afford rent. Unless you are just not smart with your money. You need to let him know that you were not born to suffer and that if he feels that it is right for him to supply his family with money while you ask and he does not give it then you will go to family that really cares. You have a family lik ehe does and he has just shown that he values his other family more. Why should you not show him that your own family values you.

Hurry and get that idea out of his head that without him you cannot make do.

Kai. LOL. Ok this is definitely a first. KAyode on bended knee asking a women "Will you get me a job". Get the hell out of here. You have to be joking.

Mohawkchic abeg. That is just ridiculous. He was traumatized? The woman that was dehumanized was not traumatized? The only feelings he should be having as a good husband is making sure that his wife heals emotionally and mentally. To be a source of strenght for her. I don't have time to feel sorry for the man. He is an ass. She is better off without him. Apparently he has been shooting blanks anyways since the woman could not get pregnant before the rape.

I cannot even imagine what you are going through. The first mistake you made was spending all the money on the wedding "day" and not thinking about the rest of your lives. You guys have a communication problem otherwise it would have been very clear to your husband what that money would be used for. You either told him and he did not care or you just did not tell him so he did whatever.

This is not the time to fix everything though. You should have done more homework before you married him. You are pregnant, let that be foremost on your mind. Stress can be dangerous for you and the baby and since your doctor of a husband does not seem to knwo that, you will have to do for yourself for a while. After you've had the baby and everything with the new baby has calmed down you will need to set some new ground rules. It is never too late, it's just not a good time for you right now to start a war.

Since when did I become your "bro". How old are you by the way and why on earth would I "Playa hate"? That is silly. A fool that knows he is a fool is better than a fool that does not. I am not even saying this as an insult. It is more like an advice. Everybody here is saying the same thing and it is not because the whoooooooooooole world is against pmond. It is because it is the truth. You come across as not very intelligent and maybe that is not the case in real life but if you are wise, you will listen and use the criticism you are getting to improve on your personal weaknesses. It is not attractive and you come off sounding like a foolish child.

Pmond why have you stopped taking your meds

That is sick that she is bathing with her 11 year old daughter. I would worry that that child is being molested. Why should she make a point of bathing with the girl. Poor child.

The woman should get a brain. That's what she needs to do. So he spends all his money and then she lets him spend her's. How stupid. She has already set the pace for the relationship.

My mom said things like "If I descend on you, you will see "your mother" and call her yor father. So I can't relate to this woman's children. LOL.