₦airaland Forum

Very smart woman. I work too and yes I feel guilty sometimes when I drop my boys off at daycare and my older boy cries after me. The fact of the matter is that you can love your children and husband with every fiber of your being but if you do not do what you really wish to be doing, you will get resentful and bitter.
If this is what she really wants to do then he needs to let her do it. It will be tougher for her to get back into the swing of things after being home for years while you the husband is moving up in your career. What makes him believe that having a career is more important to him than it is to her.

Sylvex that is how you can turn yourself into a rapist. If she accuses you of forcing yourself on her and you are asked why you kissed her, do you honestly think that "I saw it in her eyes" will be an acceptable excuse

Arent Afroagogo and girl 22 saying the same thing. THE HIGHEST PERCENTAGE. Why una sey confuse una selves

She will say "I want you to kiss me"

Then do not marry him. That is not what marriage is about. He's already assuming that if they have any infertility problems then it is her fault. SHe does not need that. Save yourself a life of hell and do not marry him

Non. Newlyweds should not have anyone living with them atleast for the first year or two. You are still trying to figure out yourselves in the marriage, set boundaries etc. How can you do that when there is an "antenna" there breathing down your back. I say NO NO NO.

Thsi couple obviously have other issues. How can such a small thing be sucha big issue. It is bigger than this. They need to be honest about the real issues in their marriage.

The love of a mother

I would simply have missed that flight period. I will not give 10kobo to anybody especially when they are trying to bully it out of me. They never jam. I don't want to sound harsh but I think they saw it in you that you could easily be intimidated. I just got back from nigeria last month and between me and my sisters and our 4 babies we had over 14 pieces of luggage and not counting our hand luggage. So you know that they noticed us coming from a mile awya. They stopped us and you could tell that they were trying to intimidate us but we all looked like "if you want my trouble, I will give you trouble". The Oga that came down to ask about the luggae simply just played with the babies was quiet for a few seconds, no response from us and then he was like "clear the road".
What I learned is that they will take advantage of you in Nigeria if you show any weakness. Sad but true.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with it. You are not related by blood.

My husband does it and it pisses me off especially when we are sharing a blanket. I just don't get how it is funny. I will have to get used to it I guess.

Gamine part of the problem is that the Ineme people are sort of seen as the Osu of that area. I know that etsakos traditionally will not marry an Ineme. Though it is changing now with our generation. That might be part of the reason why the numbers are falling.

I just came back from Nigeria and I have to say that just looking at people with the whole three piece thing makes me even hotter. I asked one of my inlaws why that is even necessary and he said more than likely they are out job hunting. I felt if someone was that dedicated to finding a job that he will roast in that outfit someone should just offer him a job as soon as he walks in.

This is funny cause I just got a taste of this. My husbands oldest brother suggested something that was totally ridiculous and I told him no that it was not going to happen that way as I had already planned how it would happen. He called my husband and told him that I was disrespectful. My husband asked me what happened and I told him and I also let my husband know that when it came to my children or my life nobody makes the plans, I do. LOL. Bottom line, typical nigerian elders syndrome. They do not like to be put in their place. My husband fortunately knows his brothers style and he did not want my wahala either so it ended there.

What exactly is going on. We cannot just say call her to order etc. That makes no sense. There is definitely more going on and it will be very wrong for anyone to say call her to order when very possibly you should be calling your family to order. Just my opinion. Based on what you wrote, I cannot say that your wife is the aggressor.

When we were in Nigeria this idiot kid was bullying my sister. One day my dad picked us up from school and my little sister was crying and when my dad found out that that kid had hit her he was mad as heck. He made her find the boy and when they found him my dad picked him up like he was going to put him in the trunk of the car. The boy was crying like a baby. That was the last we heard from that idiot. His name was Ogbebo and his partner in crime was Enero. I could confidently laugh when I walked past them in school. They were too scared to even look at any of us.

Run from her as quickly as you can. Implying that the police will believe her over you is scary as hell. This woman is dangerous. The diabetes is not even the issue.

I used to say ewwwwwwwwww to this. But the first time I did it noone had to tell me to. I still do it for my 10 month old. It is kind of gross though.
Use saline drops and then a bulb syringe after it has broken down the mucus. If that does not work, LOL

Disgrace. The should give her a freaking hysterectomy. Ode.My heart goes out to the kids.

Whoever your wife wants. It is not complicated at all. If she wants her mother now then your mom should wait until after your mother in law leaves.

The bible says he that does not work does not eat. He will not eat in MY house which is what it becomes when he decides that he is not "the working type". He will have to be lazy somewhere else. Not on my couch. Sorry. It is tough I know especially since you just had a baby. If you are in the states and you have no serious savings it means that you are in hot soup. I will never advocate divorce over trivial issues but this is not a small issue. I don't know what you should do but I cannot stay with someone like that.

Are you real. The pastor should have called the police first so that right after they repent they can take them to jail. Sick.

Now this is first. How did you mistakenly get her pregnant? Were you walking down the street and your penis fell into her vagina? How could this happen to you poor thing.
Anyway your baby will be here in a few months. It is time to grow up. Congratulations you will soon be a dad.

You have a good heart but think about it from his perspective. I can tell that you love him dearly so just imagine that he loves you as much as you love him and having to deal with what he is dealing with right now. His heart is obviously broken. You guys found each other again after a previous breakup and when thing were perfect again you betrayed him. It is simple. He needs time. He might decide to come back and he might not. You cannot force it. Focus on your life and let him deal with it anyway he can. Talk to him and if he doe snot want to talk, write him a letter.
Tell him that you love him and let him know that you know you betrayed his trust and you are sorry. Don't pester him just let him know that you still love him.
The truth is that you do not want him back if he cannot trust you anymore. Give him time to heal. He has to heal and then possibly learn to love you again. I hope all ends well for you both.

I don't know why people want to pretend that abuse is not widely accepted in Nigeria. Not everything is perfect in other countries and saying that the original poster is implying that other places do not have even one case of abuse is ridiculous. We all know what she means and I agree with her. Nigerians are very abusive and it is culturally accepted. The families who choose not to carry on that culture are the exception not the rule.

Just the other day, I was talking to a good friend and she was telling me that her mom who is not cruel (intentionally anyway) was potty training her grandson and she said that her mom beat this boy everyday until he got it right. I am sure that she did not feel like she was being abusive. It is accepted to be physically, verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive. I am happy though that families are choosing to stop this evil cycle.

A mother could beat her child black and blue and people will say "oh that's her child, she will not kill him". The day I will disagree with the original poster is the day that I see laws that are being enforced that say that if a parent assaults thier child they will get jail time or if a man dies, his family will not leave his wife and children in agony because the mans brother came in and took every piece of property the man has.

The sooner we start to be truthful about our issues the quicker we can fix them

I think you should let her be. She is too good for you. She deserves better.

Don't they have joint accounts in Nigeria. Why can't she go to the bank and get it. Is it a men only bank?

You are very sselfish. How can yousay that the mother should not attend the wedding? I don't get it. Was she a bad mother? Did she abuse you? Why would you exclude any parents but invite friends? I guess it your life. Live it any way you like.

You just have to learn to be quiet. It's going to be hard to do most of the time but it is always the best thing. You almost always regret anything you say in anger and a day or two later when you are not angry anymore you feel alot of guil at hurting the other person. It's always the best solution. It's easy to say I know because I do not always follow this advice but it is the best thing. Whatever it is discuss it when tempers have cooled.