₦airaland Forum

They still do this crap? It happened to my cousin in 1983 when she went to London. I wish they will try that with me, they will not only ban me from entering the UK they will also ban me from neighbouring countries. Idiots.

@ haz, no one said you were not entitled to your opinion. You are basically recommeding what she has been trying to no avail. Encouraging her to keep being misreable. Nope. You are wrong but still entitled to your opinion.


@ j-girl. I thought about counselling too since she said that "she" had gone for counselling but did not say if she did it alone or with her husband. If he did then I think he knows exactly how she feels and does not think it is a big deal. It sounds like she went by herself which will not help him understand that his family's behavior might drive his wife away.

1800- merrymaids. Your brother should try it. And you should dial 1800 get your own man. Yes I pay someone to come in sometimes to clean my house and my husband pays someone sometimes to take care of our lawn. He is not my brother for sure, if he was I can guarnatee you that he would not have to deal with the stress you cause him. So it is bothering you that she calls guys and she does not give you an interpretation of their conversation. She is cheating because she is speaking igbo and you do not understand abi. An idle mind is the devil's workshop. Get a life abeg. This is how in laws always try to destroy marriages and when things fall apart, they move on with their own lives.

hazureal I am sorry but you are wrong. So she should go the rest of her life misreable and unhappy? Your advice is very unfair. She is obviously not a confrotational person and because of that her in laws are walking to and fro in her house like the devil. How can you be so unhappy in your own home? You take the crap everywhere else but when you come HOME you relax. Home to me is like a sanctuary. It is even an extension of the marriage and this story proves it. She feels like her husband cannot protect her nd as such she is losing her love for him. Trust me there is a direct connection to respecting your husband and loving him. If you cannot respect him, the love will eventually die.

This woman is misreable. She did not come here saying I will do this I will do that. I can even hear the hopelessness and you are saying ignore the in laws. Maybe in their homes yes but in her own home. Hell to the nah. What quality of life will she have. I am sorry but that is just slave mentality and you are supposed to enjoy your marriage not endure it.

You do not owe your sister in laws anything. You need to be confrotational with them. If they try anything stupid with you, you strike back. Tell your husband that since he has decided to do nothing you will do it for him. I am sure he will be able to tell the difference between when you put up with it and now that you will not. The mother in law is kind of a different situation. I always say if you will not do it to your mother do not do it to your mother in law.

I have no problem telling my mother if she is out of line and she has no problem slapping my mouth if I am out of line. So tak eit like that. If you mouth of at your mother in law and she wozzes you a hot slap, you just have to take it. Personally I don't think it is worth it unless of course she is a Jezebel and from what you said she is not.

Don't let your inlaws destroy your marriage. You have not tried everything. I say that because you have never confronted your sister in laws. Let them know that they need to respect you in your house or they should not come back. You are not their maid. When they come to your house, you are the queen and they need to understand that.

They will not understand that unless you show them.

You are just proving my point. It is not your business if she cleans the house or not. You are way out of line. She is his fiancee and he will more than likely marry her. Do yourself a favor and don't interfere in their business. You have not said that she mistreats him, you have not said that she cheats on him or anything like that. The only thing you can say is that she does not clean the house which I have to respond again by saying it is none of your business.

You worry about your future husbands house being clean and leave the poor woman alone. I sense that you probably tried to bully her but you realized that she would run away to a corner and hide so y'all are frustrated. Have you stopped to think why your brothe ris so frustrated with you guys. Oh I forgot, you said she probably jazzed him. Abeg pick up a second job or something because you have too much time on your hands.

My brother has a girlfriend that he carries everywhere with him. Infact we call her his handbag but I cannot go to my brother's apartment and expect that it should be cleaned by his girlfriend. Even if she lived with him it still would not be my issue. If they want to live like pigs then let them. I cannot even disrespect her like that and I am almost 10 years older than her. Abeg find your own and leave another woman's own alone.

Is this not against thelaw? I was going to say why are they whining about a car being given to them but then they are forcing you to buy it not. What nonsense? Has anybody tried to fight it. If I was a lawyer in NIgeria I would be filthy rich. Maybe the useless culture of class action lawsuits needs to be embraced in NIgeria. God knows there are enough stupid people in hight places that will put their necks on the line for that kind of stuff

It sounds like are planning on raping her. Are you crazy or just plain stupid

So you took responsibilty of the pregnancy by aborting it. There is nothing I will not hear.

Stand your ground sister. I am so proud of her. Irresponsible man.

Hell yes. Are you kidding me? My dear marriage is a decision that you have to make on your own because when the honeymoon is over mummy and daddy will not be there to help clean up any mess their "chosen" spills. If things go sour you and you alone and probably your children will be the one's that will directly feel the pain. I am all for being open to suggestion but if they flat out say no for no reason other than he is not nigerian, or not from our tribe or his family are osu or any such stupid thing then they might as well not even show up for the wedding.

Actually I don't think Seun was too harsh. I was going to say the same thing though maybe not as mean. LOL. She is in no position to confront this woman. I can guarantee you that she will be out of that house the second she does.
The fact that you say that all your brother wants is for her to cook "igbo soup" for him shows that you guys have an issue with her being igbo. It is very likely that you guys have been very harsh towards her and put you rbrother in a position to choose who is more important - his family or his woman. It is very obvious that he chose and you guys did not like his decision.

This actually came from an article in goodhousekeeping magazine I think from the 50s. Very idiotic. Though back then women pretty much did not work outside of the home. It was stupid then and more stupid now.


Beninman I know you are only used to mgeke's that only know how to sell fish in the market. It is quite obvious that at the very least you will abuse your wife.

I cannot even imagine me, running two businesses and my full time job even caring about half of this. My husband never wanted to marry a housewife and he cooks for all of us. I know sista woman posted this just to get a discussion going. No sane person will even give this a serious thought.

I have kind of a funny story about a situation similar to this.
So my husband has this cousin who has been in the United States for about 15 years now and only has a GED. Though her house is not always spotless, she always has all kinds of cooked food in her house. This woman pretty much had and probably still has the mentality that all she is meant to do to support her husband is cook and occassionally clean. Anyway the husband even boasts about it when she is within hearing range and the ode woman will be feeling cool with herself.
We went to their home on day to visit and when we were driving back my husband told me that her husband pulled him to the side and was telling him that he should please talk to his cousin to go to school so that she can help out more, that he is getting frustrated. My husband actually always said he could never understand why she chose to be a failure and not do anything with her life besides cook and I always told my husband that it is bigger than that. Her husband wanted her to be that way. So when he told me that I told him that his cousin's husband is a goat and that even if he talks to his cousin about it, it should be to encourage her to make something of herself and not for that man.
Basically this man wanted her to be the way she had been, she foolishly went along but then he sees people like my husband and I who have not even been married 4 years and are way ahead of them in every aspect and a few other new couples whose wives work everyday and now he wants the same thing. After about 10 years of marriage he wants to sing a different tune. What made it unbelievable was that he could not even tell her. He wanted my husband to do it for him.

The marriage is not all about your husband. It is as much about the woman as the man. This is why you see so many bitter women because they made nothing of themselves because they were busy cooking while their mates were doing bigger things. Even my cousin's in Nigeria do not do one thing. They have businesses and their husbands support it 100%. My cousin's husband was even the one that had my cousin have a guy come in on the weekends to do laundry because he wanted to spend more time with his wife when he was not working. May God deliver single women from men like Beninman.

natchezski abeg be quiet. So you think that by being faithful to your wife you are doing her a favor. Did both of you not say the same vows. So she should cheat when you do not meet her expectations? Oh I am sorry. You must be meeting all her expectations as such she has no reason to do anything that might upset you. So now you are using it as an excuse to carry some classless girl in your car and you no even fear to discuss your wife with her.

That alone says something about your character. She is everything that your wife is not abi. She does not nag you, she is obviously ready to jump into bed with you and that is what you need right now. Gosh. I don't even know were to start.

What hadiza said. Besides does he not knwo that your mom is dealing with cancer right now? If he does then he can come visit you. Even if you go, I can guarantee you that you will not be 100% there. You will worry about your mom the whole time

This is just silly. How does he figure that all married women are fat or the other nonsensical things he wrote. No woman can snatch a man to start with because he is not a purse. He makes the choice to leave.

Sistawoman I so disagree with you. If you went out to hunt the man down like an animal to "get" him then don't get mad when he acts like an animal and humps anything he sees. Everybody is sweeter, nicer when they are courting. So what's up with the "too many women".

I was born and raised in Nigeria for the most part but when I went home to visit in 2002 after I had been here only 8 years I wanted to go for a ride with an uncle of mine just to do some site seeing and see if I could remember anything from when I lived in Nigeria. He told me that he had to stop at the market and I could not follow him because I looked American. They were afraid that theives would follow us back home. Na wa.

dreeldee as far as he was breathing he posed a threat as far as she is concerened. This is why it is always best to leave the first time he slaps you or shoves you. It only gets to this point after a long history of physical and mental abuse.

I think what the judges need to start doing is looking at the history of the relationship. If she had a chance to get out and CHOSE not to then she contributed to the abuse. I know it sounds harsh but you do have control over things like this.

It takes a special brand of evil to do such a thing. Thank God he is gone. Take your time and heal but move on. He is not worth a single tear. God will catch up with him. He can run but cannot hide. You are the winner here.

Then I will touch myself and act like it is even better than when he does it. He will get jealous lol

Abeg there is no such thing as too much sex. Stop scaring th eman. Provided you are with one partner and using protection if necessary

What the hell is wrong with you. If your sister is not smart enough to turn his sorry ass over to the cops why can't you make use of your own head. Jeez. HE ALMOST KILLED YOUR SISTER. My heavenly Father in heaven. Are you waiting for her to be in a coffin before you guys deal with that animal. Why do you have to have family in the UK to do something and what do you mean by it is only you and God in the UK. God does not like stupid. Don't bring God into this.

The man and his girlfriend will feel the wrath of this woman. Mark my words. God's ears are attentive to her cries.

You did not say one is loving, God fearing and very attentive all that is obviously important in making this decision is their money or potential to make money. Do you even LOVE any of them?

If you consider yourself a reasonable person and you think he is cheating then he is probably cheating.

Ojubi what qualifies them to do any of this. Sleeping with the governor I guess

Whatever. I will tell my mom not to use that kind of language with me especially if my kids are around. I don't want them learning that kind of language. We can talk about whatever like civilized people.

This is so funny. Rampant what business does she have with the girl. Did the girl make promises to her? The most worrisome thing is that they are not even married yet and you guys are telling her to tread carefully, do like this, do like that. I am sorry but the real honey moon starts before you marry him. If this drama already exists when they are not even married yet and this man did not even pretend to know that it is unacceptable to let someone of the opposite sex spend time alone with him in yhis apartment then he is either stupid or he is just using daisy.

You teach people how they treat you. When I first got engaged to my husband I lived in chicago and he lived in Miamisburg, oh. I never said to him these are the rules you must follow and neither did he tell me anything but I expected alot from him and he expected a lot from me. I respected him and respected me. I think Daisy has already set the stage for how this drama will unfold. She has already told him that "abeg be careful, she's a man eater" when she should have been asking him what kind of bad kain kain has he been drinking to let a woman even come there and knock at his door at night and even watch tv o.

I see this behavior a lot in african women but then they cry and whine about how bad their african men are. Daisy is the typr that will even help the man make up the lie that he will tell her. I know she loves him but does she really want to tell him these things for the rest of her life. These are just basic things.

Chika actually daisy is encouraing him to cheat. It seems to me from the original post that she was busy warning the man about how coniving women can be but not slapping him up the side of his head for letting a woman feel comfortable enough to knock on his door at 11pm. She seems to just think that the woman wants to snatch her man and that the man holds no responsibilty. He will sense that and he will take advantage of it. Who wouldn't