₦airaland Forum

if you had learned the relationship game, all this explanations wouldn't have been necessary...

she's right to be scared, and she's absolutely fvcking right to flee... I would have done the same, especially when I read about some weird things from someone I call roommate... the thing is, you need help... you're not the first person to be depressed and even the issue of depression is greatly depended on the mind, your mind is weak... this is why instead of focusing on what's making you down, you believe that it's just natural and this has caused a mental stagnation to your state of mind... you might not think of harming your friend for now, but with the way this is going, you're dangerous to her and also to yourself...

first evaluate what's making you feel "depressed", find a way possible to find a solution... if its being broke, work! if its loneliness, find someone... if its boredom, play games read and exercise... stop consuming shit... sometimes it's lack of productivity and idleness that brings about this depression... believe you're strong and get yourself out of the shit you're facing that you think it's normal... many people have been in the worst condition than yours but still pull through.. harming yourself because you believe you're depressed is nothing more than someone with bipolar disorder... you should reorientate yourself asap... seek help or it might lead to self-destruction...

the first two responses are unwarranted.... @OP, telling her parents might cause more problems, the thing is, you should only focus on the lessons for now and don't discuss anything off topic.. because if you try to tell her parents, she might twist the words and use it against you... you know how these females can be...

this is why a man and a woman can never be friends, feelings must surely get into the way most especially if they've spent some pretty good times together... you should be careful so you don't get falsely accused of harassing or molesting someone's daughter.. and I might be wrong, it seems you admit that she's pretty and you guys also vibe well, you better be careful and know the kind of conversation you'd be having with her because you might find yourself doing what you said you wouldn't do if she gets bolder... and that might open a bag of troubles for you later on..

remember if anything happens, the blame would be on you more even though you might be innocent... she's still young, probably naive but her eyes might be already opened... you have a choice to make... don't shit where you eat...

lol love? the op made it sound as if they are looking for diamond... why the fuss? men don't look for love, they find their purpose and focus on their mission, and this automatically put them in the situation where they will be the one to choose who they want to commit to from the options available to them...

lol the options you gave seems quite funny... most times you actually see someone who's worthy of your time when you're not looking, just make sure you lead with your brain and never ignore the red flags.

UnfairLife7:
Why you no get sense guy? You're indirectly telling him his wife lied about her past or probably was hiding something away from him. Someone said his wife affirmed not to have done abortion in the past and you flew from nowhere asking useless questions if he was expecting her to be truthful. I wonder how some of you guys reason seriously.

this is how people have themselves killed when they should have minded their own business...

Nice2023:
I know who I married and she was a virgin when I married her and were school mates at the University together.

Don't worry your life ok.

U can continue to kill and worry your life

lol why are you now angry if you're telling the truth? if she was a virgin as you claimed, why does the question trigger you? why worried if she had an abortion before? lol sorry oo married man.. lmao

Darammliveth:
Maybe she's carrying your baby.

that man somewhere will pay millions of naira to raise kids that ain't his, only to find out when they are 20 years or more that his kids ain't his... but for now, he is still living a fantasy life...

in the future, we might hear similar news like "man commits suicide when he did DNA test", "a man killed his wife for cheating on him", "a man killed his wife and his family".. na like this e dey start...

life will surely teach you the hard way if you fail to learn the easy way...

weak men will always bear the brunt.

tnerro1:

My question is why would u ask a guy if he has slept with a girl u want to marry, you should ask her and accept whatever she says or you forget her past and move on. Me I have made up my mind not to see the guy , he should strive to make his marriage work abeg.

lol you're joking right? accept whatever she says ... lol understanding husband dey go through alot

so somewhere, someplace, another man on the list is preparing to father another man's child... most people will experience life the hard way before they learn... women are brutally manipulative and cunning.. believe them at your own risk... there was a thread a guy was saying a doctor asks his wife if she had once done abortion, and she said no... I was like shey you expect her to say yes before nii?? someone that you didn't deflower? dey play

when we say marry a virgin, dem say na retired olosho dem wan buy ring and wedding gown for.... pack piles of yam and bag of rice go give in-laws for wetin men don get for free tire... even if I was the guy, I wouldn't say I've had something with the lady before but once I know that she's engaged, sex would be the last thing I would have with her.... lol Thanksgiving sex... oloshos will never cease to impress

kenedyx:

You didn't fall but you were "extremely" hard.. lol. I can imagine how phoney you looked with a bulge and still forming monk.

Come back and type this epistle when you've learned how to properly control your erection. Kiddy.

I liked your post.

At 31, you're supposed to have gotten your shit together and know how relationship works but it seems you're naive about anything concerning relationship... you're a newbie.

relationship of just two months and una don dey give unaself emotional pressure... i wish you guys all the best in life...

Nice2023:
All these are hypothesis.

We have never had issues with child bearing and I could remember in one of our meetings with a doctor at maitama District hospital some years back during her antenatal visit,the doctor asked my wife if she has done abortion before,and she answered and said no,and the doctor was surprised because according him,most ladies at that age might have done series of abortion.
And the doctor needed to know that so that they can have her history documented incase of any complication.

wait, sorry, do you actually expect her to say yes? dey play.... did you meet her a virgin? well, your moniker says a lot... I'm not saying she's lying but the way you're saying as if you knew all what she did in the past and you trust her with all your life.. I can confidently show you some teenage girls that have done series of abortions but you'll never know... dey play...

When a man has become sexually disciplined, he becomes dangerous... manipulations will rarely work on him, traps will hardly bring him down... When this has manifested, the women in his life realises that he has indeed become powerful and they will have to do more and bring more to the table to impress him... and in other sense, since he's not controlled by his sex, he's a master of his own self... and that would be quite intimidating to them...

you emanate the aura of abundance mentality... women enjoy sex more than men, but men are more drawn towards the act because of how we are wired and programmed... until you've reprogrammed yourself, you'll forever be slave to your sexual desires... this is why, only weak men and simps are easily controlled and destroyed by sex or anything related with sex... men who see sex as nothing, will never be moved to fvck anything on skirt.... since the men are always used to being initiating the act, the women have weaponized this and make men do the unthinkable just to have sex with them... kudos to weak men and simps once again... once you become powerful in the game and build your value, you'll realise women will kill themselves for your attention and to have sex with you...

I was almost raped by the women I was with when I didn't want to have sex with them... in fact, they did all they could to make me want it, but I didn't fall... was I hørny and extremely hard? fvck yes! they could see it.. but I taught them a valuable lesson and my worth grew more in their eyes... you know the kind of situation when you're looking at a delicious meal right in front of you but can't have a taste of it? exactly!

There was a time I was into games like this, after a while reality started dawning on me... you'll feel good about yourself, but in the process you might lose yourself at the same time... I vibe with ladies, in fact, I vibe a lot but the thing is I don't welcome friendship with them because I know it's going to definitely lead to other thing like sex and likes, and that's exactly what I'm avoiding right now...

there are truths PUAs won't tell you.. after a while, you begin to ask yourself to what end? what's the gain in all these? sex? ain't worth the energy, emotional garbage and shit.. the thing is, know how the game works, but don't waste your time and energy dwelling on it seeking validation or trying to impress the other gender... it doesn't worth it in the end...

Tenrack:
she's not a gen Z. She's supposed to be an Elder. A wise one. But unfortunately...

most people don't grow as they age... they only age, but they don't grow... most people are foolish... back then, when you're talking about an Elder, they mean a wise and experienced person, not just of old age... but not in our modern times...

A wise person can be of any age, likewise a foolish person... those ones born in 80s can be the same as the foolish Gen W as well...

the things most women do to be popular: engage in acts of immorality... no creativity, no innovations, just a bunch of low IQ idiots constituting nuisance online and offline...

the things most men do to be popular: be a man of value, hustle hard, creativity, innovations and technology...

recently, Drake just posted a photo of the number of bras female fans threw at him on stage, this is just the description of what's filled up in the female brain now... they don't want to be seen as nothing more than a sex object... this is why clothes that make them naked not even half naked are making the most sales... they want to be objectified, they want to hoe and they want to hoe badly, thanks to feminism and liberalism.... Are they going to back out and not behave like a hoe or act as one? NO!.. simp and beta men are there to worship them... they are their oxygen...

these damaged women and so called "superstars" if not moon are those leading the naive and gullible women into more acts of debauchery... of course, misery loves company, I won't be miserable alone, let me lead other gullible people on my path of doom... this is why you see people like Toke, Rihanna, Cardi B, Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj and the rest engage in this acts openly, encouraging other young women into the same path, no such thing as nudity in their climes.. since women hardly tell themselves truth, they will rather deceive themselves further...

women know themselves and this is why they hate themselves... a fat woman knowing she's fat will still have her friend deceiving her into consuming more junks by advising her she's so beautiful, that her type will surely come.. for men, we will come straight for you that we don't want a fat shit in our circle.. a woman who's a 2 will have her friends deceiving her that she's a 10 and this self-delusion will make her unable to change herself where need be until it's too late... if a lady is single and her friend is in a happy relationship, the single one automatically becomes her enemy and might poison her mind or even poison her to get access to her guy or damage her relationship... the summary of everything is that, most women are foolish and of low IQs...

hope this is not stroke like this? what do you normally consume? do you engage in exercises? nor be everything be medicine, the medicine might even be worsening it... hope you're not an alcoholic or you take substances that damages your health?

Life is like a shadow... we will keep chasing it but never reach it, until it's our turn to die... we will never be fully satisfied... we will keep searching for more and more till we die... times of happiness will never cease, same for the opposite... this life is in twos.. it's word and opposite...

this is why you should enjoy every moment because you don't know if that would be your last... spend quality time with your family, smile genuinely, do good deeds, desist from evil, we came from darkness, and to the darkness will shall return... only the wise will understand the mysteries of life...

and finally, it's better to live your life in a good way and keep in mind that there's a creator of everything, life after death, heaven and hell even though you finally figure out that it's not true, than to live your like someone that doesn't care about consequences or an unbeliever only to die and realise that there's life after death as well as heaven and hell... by then, it will be too late... you have been given a choice, now choose!

lol they know how to cook up emotional stories... lol she don go on adventures with the bad boys con dey cook up stories for you in order to make it feel like it was all the fault of the guys she dated... she wanted fun, she had fun, all those cock and bullshit stories nor sell for here... lol they always run away from accountability...

well, since you sef don reign in your fornication period, I think you guys really fit each other....

this is why I keep telling ladies, those good men wey una dey leave for the bad guys know wetin dem dey do... since they are in the game, they know who to look out for when searching for something serious... the signs are always there but since they feel the nice guy is stupid and foolish, they move to the bad guy intentionally because to them, "he's fun and adventurous"... and when shit finally hit the fan, they come back running... op, you guys fit each other, since you're both great fornicators... in fact, you guys will produce wonderful kids

i would approve of all this pepperezi is she is a virgin... if not, it's just another day of beta males and simps getting married to a hoe..

the issue with all these wedding shenanigans is that, the people want to impress who don't care about them... I've never seen anything logical in expensive weddings... in fact, it's one of the reasons most marriages end in divorce because when you do all that and you realise the person you married isn't worth all the stress you went for the purpose of the wedding, then problem arises...

most people are foolish, instead of investing on the marriage, they inconvenient themselves and invest on the wedding... they go into debt because they want to pepper people... no one cares if you guys divorce tomorrow... the more expensive the wedding, the more likely it will lead to divorce...

some will even list unreasonable amount of list for the intending groom like they are exchanging their daughter for piles of yam, flour and the likes... even religion didn't teach this nonsense people have imposed on themselves... marriage is meant to be simple, after the introduction between families and dowry which is a unique gift of the bride, the rest which includes wedding is totally unnecessary and also makes no sense... a private setup within the families is the best... Inviting people everywhere who don't care and offer fake love to you is a recipe for disaster... but since most people are foolish, they want to impress their village people and when problem comes, they look for solution where solution is not...

you're trying so hard to form a female moniker, isn't it high time you stopped and get a life? looking for the naive and stupid ones to scam right? these fraud and scam will lead you no where but your doom... get a life bro...

let's even assume you're bored, depressed or living a wretched life, is this the way to go? only you date men from the whole continent to come up with this your conclusion? are they following you from the village or you're just naturally cursed to be foolish?

jmoore:
It's not about me being happy.

You said 'Virginity doesn't guarantee anything'.

The phone you are using, does it guarantee long life?
Even the food you eat doesn't guarantee long life.


But it's when virginity is mentioned that you guys will come out with guarantee and warranty.

it's because they know it's the truth, and the truth hurts so they try to come with a version of their own "truth" to feel good and less hurt in order to keep up with the self delusion... lol

just as you've said, since nothing is guaranteed in life, the skills you learnt, is it guaranteed that you're going to be rich with it? the school you went to, is it guaranteed that you're going to be successful? but you still went right? exactly... since nothing is guaranteed, always go for the best... I will always go for the lesser evil... why would I choose an old car over a new one? why would I choose a damaged woman over a virgin woman? why would I choose someone who has mastered self control over someone who see sharing pvssy as an act of charity?... whenever I see a lady argues on this virgin or no virgin issue, I automatically know where she stands and can as well say that she isn't a virgin and probably a hoe as well... a true virgin will never say that virginity doesn't guarantee anything, only the damaged ones...

nothing beats a virgin woman, she will instill those values and character to your kids as well... and virginity is one of the signs of a virtuous woman...

labtos:
It's necessary to know before I finally say yes to this royal son. I don't want to throw myself into an avoidable bondage if the terms and conditions are unbearable.

the question is better directed to that royal son since he's the one you're going to be getting married to.. and besides, rules varies from family to family... but generally, the rules are okay unless you're planning to be playing home and away games when you finally marry him... or you might be afraid of taking an oath to ensure you remain faithful to him, if your intentions are truly pure, you should have nothing to fear...

you should only be concerned if another condition is attached like if the son should be no more, then the wife shouldn't remarry or the property or rights of the woman in the family... other than that, you should be good, as long as the person you're marrying to is of great character and a born leader, and you're also going to enjoy if his family is very welcoming and also rich... just make sure you do your findings thoroughly... check how they treat each other...

Persephone1:
Oh gracious merciful God! A response devoid of tantrums! Thank you!

Good thing we agreed on the fact that goodness and sexual purity are two different things and they are not mutually inclusive. A sexually active person can be a good person. This is a case of Personality and Character. A good person is born, Virginity is a decision The latter is like an icing on the cake not the cake itself.
From the post I quoted, it inferred otherwise. Like when men are ready to get married, they look for virgins because non virgins are bad and virgins are presumed all good.

Of course a good person can be a virgin and virginity says a lot about a woman. A woman can retain her virginity for so man reasons. Faith, religion, personal decision, low threshold for pain, deciet ( to eat her cake and have it) , chastity, purity, lack of opportunity (slim but it happens) and so on. Which brings us to the question "why is she a virgin"? Again Personality prevails. A good person will remain untouched for obvious positive reasons which are Purity and Chasity. . If she's a virgin for the right reasons then you are very right on the seven things a virgin signifies.
With such you don't get to read "Help, I married my wife a virgin but she's denying me sex, she's cheating with my bla bla bla... Lol 😆

You are right to a large extent on sexual relationship and marriage. I remember I once made a joke out of it to a friend. I said "I think the reason God want us holy before marriage is so that we won't have sexual comparison because there will be no previous experience" but outside religion where we are to live by certain rules i have come to realize that even the holy can become unholy overnight.
That one married a virgin doesn't necessarily equate assurance for fidelity. Yes for women it takes time, all things being equal your woman may be totally attached to you for a while but if she's not a good person with conscience she might fall.

Don't get me wrong, Virginity is good. A real virgin is great to have but as a man or woman you may want to investigate more into the virgin's mind and personality.

absolutely... if you read the modified post, you said some points which I already raised... and the reason behind why a woman is a virgin is also a valid question to determine if she's truly a virgin by chance or choice and this speaks alot about her mind and her character as well; faith and all other reasons inclusive...

Persephone1

I modified my post shortly after, you didn't quote the full post as I was typing rapidly, nevertheless, I will respond to your mention and you'll get a feedback response...

Persephone1:
I really hate to engage you lots on topics like this sadly I can't help but point a flaw in your submission i.e the bolded.

Are you of the opinion that virginity makes one a good person?

@ bolded, does virginity makes one a good person?... No... when you talk about being a good person, it doesn't necessarily relate with sexual history or purity... a good person might engage in fornication, a good person might do charity works, a good person can help you irrespective of their sexual status, a good person can be a smoker, a good person might be an alcoholic..

can a good person also be a virgin? Yes...

does virginity says alot about a person especially a woman? YES

if a woman is a virgin, a man's thought is, she will be a good woman most especially if she's attractive, despite all the temptations from men, she still didn't fall, that reveals alot about her character and how she was raised... if a man is a virgin, a woman's thought would be whether he doesn't have anything of value, he's gay, not attractive, inexperienced, or impotent.. little did she know that it says quite a lot about his character also, but since the male psyche is different from the female, this is how most women view virgin men.. a man and a woman can never be the same..

to a woman, virginity says alot about her character most especially if she's attractive and in this modern age... virginity, I mean someone who's a virgin in mind and soul, signifies 7 things... Faith, self-restraint, simplicity, knowledge, innocence, reverence and love... if you want to experience the purest form of love, date a virgin... the purest form of love I ever experienced was from a virgin... no other women gave me that kind of love and respect... the thing is that in this modern age, you'll hardly see a virgin that doesn't have a good character, because the rate of virgins are significantly lower compared to the past... so that says a lot.. unless she's not really a virgin... when I say virgin, I'm not only saying a non-penetrated hymen... because there are various types of virgins now.. anal sex virgins, romance virgins and the likes...

when you're talking about sexual relationship and marriage, there's no way you would undermine virginity because it reveals to a large point the kind of person you're going to be dealing with, even to a man... for sexual relationship and marriage, virginity and sexual history as a whole is also part of the person's character... if a man is a community dick, his wife is going to be affected by this and she stays at the risk of contracting deadly diseases or suffer from abuse or lack of attention in anyways... if a woman is a hoe, then you should know where it will all end.. since there's no significant way to know if a man is a virgin or not, it's now left for the woman to not let emotions rule over her and only lose her virginity to the man that marries her...

Negroid001:
No cast am na

ooh I've spilled a secret... my bad

Les:
Virginity is a symbol of purity and purity is a virtue. So it helps definitely!! Only morally bankrupt people will say and believe otherwise. God who created women and sealed up that place wasn't playing. However virginity shouldn't be a focal point in dealing with woman unless it has to do with marriage.

you're wise.

Negroid001:
What are the odds of finding a virgin nowadays. Let's ask ourselves, is virginity really important. Are you a virgin, so why judge someone who isn't. Virginity no help anyone. It's high penile count I'm against.

virginity nor help anyone and you're also against high penile count... I don't know what else to say to you... OP only the foolish ones, the people who don't have any serious thing to do with women, just fvck and chop, the damaged girls, will say virginity don't matter...

some fvck boys and men will even use that line on damaged and stupid women in other to have them feel they don't care about her past, once they do the do, they dump her like thrash... and when they need a good woman, they know who to look out for...

Moh247:
It's easy to spot a child with no experience on Nairaland forming man an macho

You are a teenager at most

Well I spoke from a Brother's perspective

I have a successful British lawyer as a sister who married an accountant who was pretty much abusive, it took the intervention of me , my elder brother a Naval officer , My Dad and Me to reign in and get them separated with a divorce and a restraining order to get him arrested if he ever comes close to my sister


My sister is now remarried with her two boys happy with her new husband all happy in UK..

If it were to be foolish Nigerian mental lazy narcissist they won't let nature takes it cause


.

it seems you're just naturally blind or you don't know how to read... all these explanations wouldn't have been necessary if you had actually opened your eyeballs to read the post you quoted... didn't you read where I posted about the exceptions to some type of single mothers?

apart from that, shey na me marry your sister or is it me that told your sister to marry a man that abuse her or she didn't notice the red flags before she jumped into it?... wetin concern me concern your family problem?

@op, this is why any woman you intend having something serious with, you shouldn't ignore the red flags, it will always be there for you to see... always have a background check on the woman which includes are family... you're not only marrying the woman, but her family as well.. if she has a bad mother, there's no way she will make a good wife... "I love you, she love me" won't save you when wahala starts.. she will frustrate your life and you'll regret ever coming across her... my brother made the same mistake and now regretting...

seeteazain:
Back it up with relevant verses or hadiths

Qur'an 2 v 221