₦airaland Forum

duduade:
Yes o...

We men garrit
Even a 100 year old man... As long as he got cheddars in his pockets even if na cedis my opposite gender must follow....

Gender with no shame... That's what I call most of them

with money, in fact 85 will be their spec and the one God sent... only when it concerns a poor man they will tell him they need to think about it or their "pastor" or mother says they aren't compatible, but with the rich man, they are always compatible and always God sent...

this is why we tell men their purpose comes first before women... women are not going anywhere... Elevate yourself first and you'll be the one to choose...

at that stage those are the ones they would be attracted to until they are completely damaged beyond repair then they start looking for the nice guy to dump their baggages with... with the bad guy, they get all the thrills from him.. they give the bad guys their youthful years and the nice guys are left with the leftovers... funniest thing be say, that one go carry flower come, come knee down dey beg her to marry? foolish man... e go still pack provisions go give in-laws...

if e con worst, she go come turn single mother and one man go still wife am up, if you fail to teach your kids, society will teach them and leave them miserable... if you're not ready to take full responsibility of your child, it's better to remain childless...

see where being sexually indisciplined led a grown man?? smh, even if una wan forgive am, una suppose give am one punishment he won't forget in his life, he's only remorseful because he was caught...

anyways, if you guys are to forgive him, he should sign a written agreement to take charge of the responsibilities, else he risks being thrown to jail...

Jennyclay:
All what they know how to do is to rape, kill and steal


Nonsense men!!

normally, I wouldn't have quoted you, I just wanna give you a notice... at any slight opportunity, you insult MEN! even to some post that doesn't warrant insult, you are also uncouth and spoilt.. the thing is you're not even anonymous, your pictures are everywhere...

you wey suppose dey help your mama for kitchen, you dey come online dey insult MEN... no worry, one day your cup go full and men go visit you.. sheybi all men are foolish abi? your mind nor go touch ground...

FitCorper:
Na so see finish take Dey start

not only that, the man will be falling into her frame which can lead to disrespect, the man can be accused of rape and society will believe her, if she died, the man will be said to have killed her....

this is also why fornication is dangerous, if she died while she was with you whether in her house or yours, maybe due to illness or some other stuffs, you have nothing you can use to exonerate yourself, especially in this part of the world where thorough investigation is a fallacy... no evidence, you'll spend the rest of your life in jail or being sentenced to death... but if you were married or joined legally, even if that happens, you can easily exonerate yourself...

Kobojunkie:
So in your mind, a "good wife" is a woman who sacrifices the well-being and welfare of her own children for the sake of covering the shortcomings of their father and her husband?

2. Bullsheet! OP never said that! The wife is not the one making OP feel the way he feels... he feels that way because his ego is bruised but the question should be should a poor man keep an ego about himself? ?

3. OK, OP, here is a fellow telling you to divorce your wife then.

it's you, I would rather fight terrorists in Israel than waste my time conversing with you...

olabrinks:
If you can’t afford to give her more than 3k what do you expect her to do? This is not a woman that struggled to eat before marriage. When she starts earning from her business maybe she won’t have to ask them. You can’t expect her to starve to cover your shame. Good food is a necessity of life, she had two children to feed. Unnecessary ego and pride is dangerous for a man who is struggling to provide. Accept the help that your in laws are giving to you, use that as motivation to upgrade yourself and your family.

lol you're speaking like this because you're probably a woman... don't you know everything is just a phase? even though his wife wants to help, a good wife who respects her husband will find a way to cover up his shame, not be the one to add insults to injury by exposing his secrets...

let's say for example the man is rich and he suddenly becomes poor, is that how he's going to become an object of scorn just because she came from a "rich" home... they could have married her themselves then if they would still be controlling her in the marriage...

the OP didn't say he rejected the in-laws help, but the wife is making it feel as if the man is not trying his best? didn't you see where he said he bought the wife a car and that amount of wristwatch? she didn't even appreciate it nor acknowledge them... they are indirectly controlling the affairs of his home which is not what any man can accept except he's weak... men want to control their own territory... I'm sure he even does those things just to prove to his wife that he's trying his best otherwise to me it's totally unnecessary, it's all because of the pressure he's facing from his wife and the in-laws as well which were all fueled up by the wife he married...

she's not matured enough for marriage, that's because of they way they spoilt her, I've seen many women from well-to-do and reputable families still did good by their husband... even if you need help from relatives, there's a way you would ask for it, not saying that your husband gives you so so amount, or your husband does this and that, shey e fit get more than that, e nor go drop? why una dey always talk like this? shey e get where dem dey pluck money for tree?

marvellous2222:
My wife calls her family for everything, once I'm broke she calls her mother to send her food items, I have begged her to stop, I have gotten angry yet she said she can't be hungry in a man's house when there's excess in her parents house, my wife can't manage 3k to cook for me, a family with just 2 kids, she'll call her elder brothers and tell them I gave her 3k to cook immediately they will send money for her.

...

O boy, this is a big glaring red flag...

okay, alright...

first of all, okay wait...

*shrugs..., can't believe what he just read... trying to calm himself down... sighs

when it comes to marriage, many men overlook a lot of things which they later get to regrets when they finally married... most men fail to understand that, when you're marrying a woman, you're not just marrying only her, you're marrying her family as well... her family background and how they relate with each other says so much on how she's going to relate with you, if you ignore this aspect, you'll only have yourself to blame... marriage is one of the things that will determine if your life expectancy will be reduced or increased...

1) her family controls her and the way she was raised has already affected her... didn't you notice any red flags when you were dating or you let love becloud your sense of reasoning in your dating years... since she can't keep a secret and also get her mouth under control, I won't be surprised if she has described your dick length to her mother or brothers... she will bring shame to you

2) hypergamy; a very strong factor! this is why most men go for the ladies that they are socially high in status, the way she was raised has made her hypergamous antennas through the roof, nothing you do will ever satisfy her because from the onset, she saw you as less of a man... when a woman feels she's greater in status than you, she won't respect you, and if can't respect you, she won't honour you... most women think men can't handle "independent" women, no this is not the case, independent women feel they are also men and can't submit to any man or be under his control... this is why most of them are not marriageable, because men don't want to compete with their women...

3) you said you bought her all those things and she didn't appreciate, she won't and this is just the beginning of your woe, prepare to face more woes..

4) if the money you gave her from example was for a one time cooking, like maybe for lunch, breakfast or dinner, I don't know how she can't manage to cook a decent meal... nor be everyday be Christmas, it shows she's the type that will flee at any sign of worry or trouble...

5) I won't be surprised if her mother has emasculated her husband as well... her mother might be the one also controlling her husband..

6) she's not intellectually, socially, and emotionally matured for marriage...

7) her family should have married her for themselves...

8 ) don't buy her things any longer if she doesn't appreciate it.. let her family keep taking care of her responsibilities, and never consume anything they bought for her...

9) the only solution you have now is, divorce or to get another wife... if she still continue spilling secrets out or doesn't obey you, divorce her... it will be hard but for your own peace of mind unless you want to continue living in misery...

you made a lot of good points... this also the kind of sentiment I share... age is just a number doesn't apply to everything... when it comes to experience, wisdom, then age is just a number because foolish old people exists... but when it comes to other things have you've mentioned, age is not just a number...

a lady who has clocked 70 for example, should she still give herself hope that she's going to deliver a bouncing baby? or someone who didn't use his opportunities well when time, energy and age was on his side, is it until he turns 60 before he starts preparing for them, even if he got a bit of time left, wil the energy or money be available for him then? the main point is, use your time well, spend it wisely on what would benefit you, do not waste your energy and resources on futile activities that will come back to haunt you in the end of time...

HardBishop:
Honestly we have to blame the biblical Paul for caging us. All this characters will not come out when you marry more than one..... So think about it

exactly, Paul changed most of Jesus's teachings... modern Christians follow Paul not Jesus... it is Pauline Christianity... even Jesus said he came to fulfill the law and not to abolish them... it's clearly stated in the Bible that it's permitted for a man to marry more than one... Exodus 21v10... David, Abraham and the likes married more than one...

you see where few minutes of pleasure led you? you see how it changed the direction of your life? instead of you to focus on how you are going to elevate yourself, you con add pikin and wife to your matter... and you say your wife is an orphan, bro you're on a long thing...you never stable, you still wan take care of another person wey never stable, na so poverty dey pass on from generation to generation... smh...

stay away from fornication....

you dey follow woman dey yarn, dey gossip, dey do bestie? wetin you expect her to take you as? shey men nor dey? you brought this insult upon yourself... wtf man.??

Ever8090:
you no just Sabi counseling at all....

You no read where d guy said she no dey go out, she no get friends? ..how those number of possible reasons for her behaviour capture the main issue which is what I just mentioned now?

No try to council any body again ooo...make you no go brake person marriage...

lol she nor dey go out or he doesn't see when she goes out? you mean she stays indoor 24/7? dey play...

and in my previous post, I said 'possible things involved'... always read to understand and comprehend..

Olaronke2478, very good, I commend this, this is exactly what I want our ladies to act on...

until a man does the necessary stuff with you by taking it to the next level, visiting your parents and you visiting theirs and taking the necessary steps, do not give in to any man... most men are just sexually frustrated... until marriage preparation are already involved, do not have sex! trust me, they will wait especially if you're a virgin and you're very sure of that...!

but one thing is, there's nothing wrong in a man asking for sex, it's just basic thing to men, but its not just sex for you as a woman, it's a part of investment on your side... men will ask for sex both with good intentions and of course the bad ones, you just have to know how to differentiate the wheat from the chaffs... and always pray to God for guidance because no one is perfect...

Mhizzard:
Hope she ain't lesbian

haha that one sef dey but might not be the case as the op described the situation...

or e fit be say sex dey pain am, she doesn't enjoy it with him, doesn't get wet or her body system differs.. but one thing is, you will hardly see a woman that doesn't crave sex... except maybe she's had some traumatic experience that changed her perspective towards sex...

IamReallyboy:
Help a brother,
If I touch my wife she frown, and complain she doesn't like it.
We have s*x only when she's in the mood, even if I romance her she complain of pain or give useless excuse to stop it.
My problem is, she no dey go out, no friends. Please any advice or help to this.

possible things involved...

1) she's not sexually attracted to you..
2) she doesn't see you as a man she respect; a weak man.
3) she's cheating.
4) you don't take your personal hygiene seriously; you're not neat.
5) you don't know how to get a woman in the mood.
6) she's not performing her duties as your wife.
7) she knows you can't get it anywhere else so she keeps manipulating you with it; you've gat no options..

if the problem is 1, 2, 4 and 5, then the problem is you... if the problem is 3, 6 and 7, then don't also perform your duties on her, ignore her like she doesn't exist... she wants to friendzone you in the marriage, if she doesn't fvck you, who does she fvck? and did you meet her a virgin? if it persists, get another wife or cheat since she doesn't know what's expected of her, she should go back to her father's house if she's not emotionally matured enough to be married...

lol your post is quite funny, lol, well back to the matter...

you said she sounded like a good person? lol, do you expect her to sound like a bad person to you, and that story she told you about her baby daddy, don't believe that shit just easily... normally she will play the good girl to you even if most of them are not, until she's gotten your commitment, that's when you'll know the truth of the matter... right now, she is still playing her cards right...

secondly you said you've known about the dangers attached to a commitment like this, ask yourself are you ready to risk it all? remember, if things goes south, wo, you go too suffer am and you'll wish you've never gotten married in this life, all these I'm getting old won't even come to your mind again when trouble looms... no one will be there to wipe your tears...

her baby daddy is even alive, and I'm sure he might have not totally forgotten about his kid which makes the case a lot more complicated... how sure are you that they won't resume their "shenanigans" after you marry her?? and also put it at the back of your mind that, she will always put that child over you, no matter what... now if it was your child, that's still acceptable, but another person's kid? do you have the mind to bear it when that happens??

the thing is baggages attached to single mothers are much which is why it's always adviced to avoid them, and it's nothing about hate, and this has been proved times without number, so Mr op, if you choose wrong, I don't need to explain what would happen to you, life itself will teach you...

and you said those of young ages are doing shakara for you, normal level naa, dem go do, that stage dey always do them something for body, if you're not a man with game, or if you're not a man of value, it will be hard for you to secure someone... you're a man, time is kind to you, don't make yourself desperate into seeking for what's not lost... and also, you might have also been looking at the wrong place... anyways, it's your poison, choose carefully...

that's why God gave everyone a brain, to think for themselves, but unfortunately most refuse to make use of it...

most Shola sayings is just common sense and logical, you'll only have a problem with it if you misinterprete what was said... follow the one that you think is best for, leave the one that you feel isn't good for you, normally not all advice are meant to be followed...

las las, whether you follow advice or not, if anything happen to you, na you go still suffer am... you shouldn't because of love now make yourself ignorance of the truth... you might not live to tell the tale...

ojobolinda:
But is it possible for the test result to be inaccurate? Because she isnt feeling any sign or symptoms of pregnancy.

She had unprotected sex and out of fear, decided to run the test

she had unprotected sex and what was she expecting? rainfall? let her bear the consequences... and I hope the person she got pregnant for is responsible or else she will join the list of single mothers, that's if she doesn't abort this one and that's also, if she hasn't done any abortion before...

nothing beats chastity..

keep calm and observe, see how things play out... and that your boss might have a thing for that newly employed lady... you might never know if he's randy or not... just calm down, and you can start seeking opportunities else where, but don't lose this one by nagging your boss too much... people dey look for work oo

if it happened once, I will forgive and overlook...

if it happened twice, she will definitely see the other side of me...

you nor fit con burn my house because of Zeeworld wey you dey watch, you dey whine?

he believed in the fantasy called love, back then, he would have rejected the red pill even if it was presented to him for free because he was still thriving on the emotions the illusions provided him... now, I doubt there will be anyone to save him, and the wife?? she will be in the house he labored for gobbling down another dick... in fact, she will use his car to drive the guy to the house for a hot sex... men love with everything, even with their common sense, because how can you convince a man to sign all his property under his wife's name? and instead of the woman to see this as a sign of genuine love, lol, she will rather ruin him...

he will join the likes of Saha, Eboue.. smh..

Mrkindness:
The sacrifice and prizes women pay to bring both gender into the earth is priceless, some give their life for their babies to live.


Pls don't ever question women sacrifice to men.

you are talking about childbirth, of course, I'm not disregarding the fact that it's risky, but women only go through that because they have no choice, if there was a way to avoid the pains of childbirth or to avoid childbirth completely, women would have done that..., I've seen some women willingly chose to undergo CS to avoid the pains of childbirth not because the doctors advised that... unlike the men that chose to do all these despite having a choice not to.. and after childbirth, what else can you point out? and do you know what will happen if all men chose not to make all those sacrifices to develop and keep the world safe? chaos and destruction everywhere! you might not even be alive to use the phone you're operating today...

in the past, when there was no even hospitals, childbirth wasn't even as strenuous as this, very low complications was recorded, in fact during those days, women themselves will walk to the hospital and give birth as though nothing is happening... so don't make it seem as if childbirth is all there is... if it's all that fuss, how come women of those days gives birth to high number of children unlike these days... if not because of the junks most people consume and all the preservative bullshits that complicated our health issues now, childbirth is suppose to be as easy as a cow giving birth without little to no assistance... even the drugs they produced to make the childbirth easy even complicates our health the more, when people went natural in the past, everything was easy for them, but now we think we are woke, that's why we treat woke diseases that wasn't heard from in the past... smh

superCleanworks:
I can't even be friends with such men. Such a man can run you down (betray, ruin business, steal, lie, and even kill) just to get a senseless tiny attention or rating from a female.

exactly, men that will run you down just to impress a pvssy... run away from them as far as possible...

There's a lot of freedom on the cyberspace, anyone can say whatever he or she feels like...

I'm only concerned for the men that spends just to impress the woman to sleep with her, they are the enablers of this attitude of people who feel that they are naturally inclined to a man's earnings... If you want to fvck a girl, why must you feel the need to financially impress her before you think she will agree to your demands? Since most men are weak and socially unintelligent, men who don't have the balls and who mask their low self-esteem and lack of confidence with the cash in their hand, they go through this route only to end up being used and they end up crying and blaming the women... Smh

You gave someone your money on a platter, do you expect her to reject it? Since you can't say what you want, keep suffering in silence... A fool and his money are soon _________. Complete it yourself...

Lol the responses might be funny but question is not, let even set the responses aside... Most men will even lay their lives to save strangers let alone a member of their own family...

Men go to war and fight for a cause they know absolutely nothing about to protect the country and the people..

Men will run into a burning building to save people trapped in there, these people are strangers to them...

Men will put their lives at risk trying to protect the streets from notorious criminals..

These same men will be expected to provide and also protect their families... This is even just the tip of it, what about some dangerous jobs where only men are found? And these jobs are the bedrocks of what we are now enjoying...

Men will willingly and sacrificially do all this without looking back...

Now you're talking about his wife? Someone close to him? Someone he committed to?? He will do more than that if possible to save his wife... can you say the same thing about his wife? probably not.. Then how do they repay most of these men? Society will castigate him, feminists will wish he doesn't exist in a world he built and protected, and if he's extra unfortunate, his wife will frustrate the remaining soul out of him, while divorce courts will leave him for pigs to devour... Men love sacrificially, women love oppurtunistically... for strangers and families, men did all this... Sacrificing everything along the way... just to be called men, just to be respected but most are treated with dishonour...

You now see why feminists are deluded and foolish... If I was the president, I would decree that any self proclaimed feminist should be immediately sent to the front lines to battle terrorists and protect the people... the ones that said we don't need men will be immediately sent to do the dangerous jobs only men are put into while her fellow feminists in crime will be made to join her...

The question still stands, who will protect men?

for your own peace of mind, don't check your wife's phone... and I wouldn't expect her to check mine as well... what's in my phone is my business because she's not the reason why I bought it in the first place and I would be conducting lot of businesses including private ones in it so I don't expect her to start ransacking my phone..

but one thing is, if you show her you're too caring or insecure to know who she's chatting with or contacting, she will either use it against you by coming up with other plans to conduct her "business" and make it seem she's not cheating or she will take your love for granted because when a man is loved up and invested in the commitment, that's when he start monitoring his wife around..

one tip is, always let her free her mind when she's with you, even when you see her chatting, as long as she's not interfering with your business or hindering what she's suppose to do, act totally unconcerned... if she sees that you don't care about this, she will one day unfortunately drop her guard and you'll be able to catch her red-handed... or if you notice she's unnecessary secretive with her phone, like she doesn't even leave her phone down with you for any moment or by putting her phone on flight or DND, then something is fishy.. she's either cheating or planning to...

Women are much smarter than most men, she might be cheating and you'll never suspect her nor will she ever leave any traces on where you can easily find them, like her phone.. so just because she leaves her phone with you doesn't always mean she's totally faithful, you have to stay sharp... most men that caught their wife cheating never saw it coming...