₦airaland Forum

Bostin:
One good head can't keep a marriage , it's takes two to tangle . You can't change who is not ready for change , you can't accept who doesn't value your acceptance .

.

That is the misconception...you are not in a marriage to change anyone. You are coming from a different upbringing, culture, personality and orientation to be with someone from a totally different upbringing, culture, personality and orientation. I think it is a bit presumptuous to think you can "change" such a person. Are you God?

The best you can do in a marriage is to work on yourself to adapt your own peculiar personality to the other person's. The actual work is to change yourself as best as you can to be more tolerating, accommodating and receptive. The conflict always arises the moment we try to force the other party to bend to our whims. Therein lies the real "work" of marriage.

When I say "one good head" can keep a marriage going, I am talking of someone that understands that marriage is 100% sacrifice; someone that understands they are not in the marriage to be served but to serve. With patience, dedication, commitment, sheer tenacity, all of those sacrifices ultimately pay off and a turbulent marriage can change for the better.

Hathor5:
Are you saying that you can forgive all of the following?

- cheating
- cheating with your best friend
- cheating with your brother
- cheating repeatedly
- insulting your mom
- stealing from you
- paternity fraud
- revealing your secrets

Yes I can. Once again, it is not the gravity of the offence but the mindset towards offence.

One good head can keep a marriage.

Hathor5:
Can you forgive all kinds of "thorns" and still love your spouse?

Yes I can...but it is not easy. Takes some work to be able to do that.

Like I said, once you understand that the person you are marrying is not 100%, it becomes a bit easier to let go and forgive when they offend you.

Hathor5:
Do you agree?

I am watching a series and in one of the episodes a couple goes to see a marriage counselor. She tells them that marriage is not about unconditional love but an agreement to show up the best we can. It is meant to challenge each spouse to bring out the best in them.

How useful is this kind of advice?

Showing up the best you can is an ingredient of unconditional love. It's basically saying to you that marriage isn't always going to be peaches and roses. There will be thorns as well. So make plans for those sort of times too.

ubaobi:
Why did they deny that soldiers were there in the first place, then go on to admit later on in the face of overwhelming evidence that soldiers were there but they did not shoot, later they admitted to shooting only blank bullets, he that comes to equity must come with clean hands.

True that. The government's handling of the #ENDSARS protest was a PR nightmare. That is one of the dangers of having a multi-pronged public engagement architecture. Every govt communication channel switched into panic mode issuing all sorts of public statements without full clarity on what had happened.

All of the foregoing however does not negate the fact that there simply is no empirical proof that soldiers unleashed a massacre of unarmed protesters at the Lekki toll gate last year. The facts simply don't stack up to me as a rational mind trying to make sense of the events of that day.

The horrible effects of even a dozen soldiers firing AK47s at point-blank range into a crowd of 100s of people like the soldiers are alleged to have done, cannot be missed. From all accounts, there were at least 3 truckloads of soldiers at the venue that night so there were definitely more than a dozen soldiers at the toll gate.

So at the risk of sounding a bit insensitive, where are the bodies? The claim is that the soldiers took them away with them. Did the soldiers also wash away all the blood and gore that would be evident if soldiers actually fired AK47 weapons into a crowd at point-blank range?

I guess there are always going to be questions about what truly transpired on the night of 20-10-20. RIP to the souls of all those that died during the ENDSARS riots...including the policemen and soldiers.

Esseite:
https://www.vanguardngr.com/2021/10/scrap-office-of-first-lady-peter-obi/

Abeg all of these politicians should go and sit down with their pedestrian suggestions for good governance.

Office of first Lady or not has never been the problem of governance in Nigeria. Yes it is not a constitutionally recognised office. But there is hardly any where in the world where the wife of the President will not be accompanied by top security and have a retinue of aides even if she chooses not to be in the public eye.

Cutting off the office of first Lady is too pedestrian to make it a campaign promise. Rather, tell us what you will do to undertake a wholistic review of the entire governance architecture, keeping the cabinet as lean as possible to eliminate waste.

Tell us how you plan to catalyze the constitutional review that is necessary to take the fluff and perks out of governance so that only the people that are genuinely interested in serving the people come into politics and aspire for office.

All of these first Lady talk is becoming jaded abeg!

damilola4162:
Source: https://newspremises.com.ng/compulsory-vaccination-is-from-the-pit-of-hell-pastor-paul-enenche-kicks-against-making-covid-19-vaccine-compulsory-video/

My take on this is simple: God said the antichrist will come. Neither he nor his agenda can be prayed away. The only solution to escaping the antichrist according to the Holy Bible is to be raptured with Christ when he returns to take the saints home. So I do not know what sort of empty prayers a lot of Christians are praying these days binding the antichrist and his activities.

The government has clarified that contrary to reports in the news, they are not forcing anyone to take the vaccination. But they will not allow access to any Federal Government building without full Covid 19 vaccination as of December 1st. It makes common sense to say that in exercising your right not to take the vaccine, you cannot impede the right of others to a safe workplace. Take the vaccine or stay home...PERIOD!

May God have mercy on his church!

BeeBeeOoh:
https://punchng.com/dont-let-police-disrupt-endsars-protests-falana-tells-buhari/

Citizens are within their right to organize a protest...but I do not think a protest is necessary at this time given the fragile security situation across the country IMHO. The tendency of an open protest getting hijacked and running out of control like we witnessed last year is extremely high and no matter how we view it, the Police does not have the capacity of coordinating and controlling a street protest against government.

We all watched on TV as the almighty American security infrastructure struggle to control violence during the BLM protests and again during the post-election violence in America last year. The Nigerian police is under-staffed, under-trained and ill-equipped to effectively manage a protest and prevent it from degenerating into a riot.

There are much more civil ways of marking the events of last year in a much more solemn way rather than a street protest. WHile criticizing government, we also need to be responsible citizens.

KillingIsFun:
[url]http://saharareporters.com/2021/10/11/insecurity-didnt-come-accident-it-was-planned-islamise-nigeria%E2%80%94-ex%E2%80%94vc-ahmadu-bello[/url]

Instead of continuously wailing about this phantom plan to Islamize Nigeria, should Christians not put together a plan to Christianize Nigeria?

Abetterperson:
My mom sister son decided to stay with us because of his family financial struggles. He's a bit older than me but we are of the same age group. Firstly I noticed this guy is sexist and when I say sexist I mean it. He believes a woman job is to clean the house and take of the family, a good woman in his eyes is a woman without an opinion, smile and always do what she is told.
He views me as an inferior, he tries to order me around and gets angry when I refuse. He doesn't really talk to me which honestly I think is for the best.

When he first arrive at our apartment he was shocked that he had to do any chores calling it a woman's work. He doesn't respect females infact he body shames women.

Am on my period and we are the only ones in the house because of my cramps am in pain. In the morning we ate bread with bama and tea. Just now this guy asked me what we are going to eat because he's hungry (he's doesn't like eating outside, he prefer homemade food). I told him I don't know,next thing he told me to figure it out.

Just because I Know the kind of person he is, I kept quite. He came to me again asking the same question, I told him to help me ground pepper and a bit of onion so that I will be able to prepare stew and rice, normally I would use our bender but because there is no light and am afraid to put on our gen because of my mom.

Next thing I hear is this guy just shouting like a failed musician, telling me that I don't have character and respect. I didn't answer because to me he's a madman

Am waiting for my mom to come, I Know she will take his side because she doesn't want him to feel maltreated but what is all this.

Am not his wife still yet this is no way to treat a woman whether she is your wife or not.

The guy unfortunately picked up this poor mindset from his upbringing. There are a lot of homes where parents actively make their male kids feel superior to their female kids by not allowing them to do any house chores. Secondly, you can have a situation where the boy watched his father treat his own mother like a house maid in the name of "culture and tradition" and felt that is the way life is wired.

I think your mum and dad can lovingly but firmly help him correct this warped mindset now that he lives with your family. On your own part, you need to be a bit more understanding of the fact that he just comes from a different upbringing from yours. Rather than tow this part of hostile aggression, I suggest you adopt a more friendly approach so your position on the matter can be well received.

stephanie11:
POLITICSNIGERIA.COM


https://politicsnigeria.com/breaking-ipob-not-as-bad-as-terrorists-bandits-in-the-north-gov-ikpeazu/

This governor's take is like saying a burglar is not as bad as an armed robber because a burglar can be reasoned with and is only stealing because he is hungry.

We need to stop this attempt to rationalize evil. What is bad is bad. Boko Haram did not start off as this uber-violent terrorist organization we know today. They evolved because northern politicians and ethnic jingoists were all over the place rationalizing their existence rather than stamping them out. Guess who is suffering it the most today?

The southeast needs to take a stand against this growing IPOB/ESN menace before it grows out of hand. There are more peaceful platforms and means to negotiate the terms of our nationhood than this open call for violence.

vanbonattel:
Nigeria is no longer a recognised country and has become a pariah among the committee of nations. The world has now come to see that a bunch of terrorists are in charge of Nigeria, hence they are being snubbed by all world bodies.

Nigeria is not the problem. Nigerians are the problem.

It is not Nigeria that asked Nigerians to begin to sell vaccination cards to travelers that are yet to be vaccinated at the airport. It is not Nigeria that asked Nigerians to set up a syndicate that sells fake covid 19 results and vaccination cards to travelers in the UK, US and UAE.

Nigeria has become a pariah because Nigerians just do not know how to behave themselves. We carry our knack for crime outside the shores of this country and begin to blame Nigeria when those other countries resist our misbehavior.

Nigerians need to do better.

Chigold101:
May God console the family.

Shame on you for concluding that's it's IPOB that killed him even without any investigation from any security agency

This is a very good take on the issue at hand. I like how you called for investigations before jumping to conclusions. The question is, are you usually this pragmatic when the media announces that herdsmen have committed another murder without any shred of evidence?

Would you have been this restrained if the family had announced that the murder may have been carried out by herdsmen? Would you have called for investigations before accepting the claim?

I know it is hard to swallow the fact that your kinsmen have evolved into the evil that you condemn in others...but it won't help if you people begin to make excuses for them. IPOB may be fighting a worthy cause but the fact is that there are bad eggs among them that are exploiting the struggle for their own personal and violent agenda.

Boko Haram did not start out as the ultra-violent force that we know them to be today until some violent and extreme entities joined the Group. Then they also began to enjoy the support of politicians and people alike who saw them as an agent to disrupt southern politics and chase Christians away from the north. They thought Jonathan will rule forever so they were happy to make the country ungovernable for him. Northerners cheered them on until they turned into the hydra-headed monster and destructive force they are today. Now Jonathan is no longer President but it is too late and the north is suffering the effects of their hypocrisy today.

The Southeast needs to condemn these violent crimes and call a spade a spade. IPOB has deviated from its core objectives of peaceful agitations and is now feeding on its own children. The Southeast needs to understand that the Buhari they all love to hate, will soon wrap up his tenure and retire. But if IPOB is allowed to perpetuate this legacy of evil, it will soon get out of control. It is time for the Southeast to speak with one voice and curtail the activities of these renegades before it gets out of hand.

aAK1:
Now the Dss know

If you truly believe this woman was truly anywhere within the shores of this land and the DSS was not aware of it, then it means you are smoking some of the really good stuff.

Newsmic:
https://igberetvnews.com/1401338/dj-switch-cooked-house-months-never-got-asylum-canada/

When una and government use us catch cruise finish, the truth of what really happened at the toll gate on that day will emerge.

For now, enjoy your fame and milk it for all you can get from it.

ijustdey:
https://tribuneonlineng.com/futo-alumni-write-institution-want-explanation-on-pantamis-professorship/

So if I understand clearly, what this article is saying is that a body of ex-students of a school are threatening to sue a school they graduated from because of an administrative decision the school took to hire a new teacher?

How does that work? Is the administration of the school accountable to the alumni? Why do we thrive in "anyhowness" in this country?

The best the alumni can do is express their disagreement sighting reasons why they feel Pantami should not be hired. But to seek to compel the institution to reverse their decision by writ of summons is an aberration. That case is going no where.

The university does not owe the alumni any explanation as long as the university senate approved the move and it was endorsed by the owners of the school, in this case the Federal Government of Nigeria, case closed!

micronut:
A serious disagreement was recorded here inside Max Airline flight going from Abuja to Bauchi when a woman complained over the 4 hours flight delay, and the pilot and the other crew, demanded that the woman should be taken down from the flight for insulting them even though they are trying to take necessary precautionary measures to ensure safety.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dz5FgnGN8sY

The Pilot was seen particularly exchanging words with the woman while other passengers supported her and social reaction from people have shown people calling for the pilot to be sanctioned for being rude.


For some people, it's a parody of "Customers are always right" while for some others "delays can be excused for passengers safety".

Who is wrong here, the passenger or the pilot? see People's reactions on Facebook as Shared on Wall of Hajia Aisha Alubankudi.



Source: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10225200401813086&id=1111933828

With this pilot's disposition, I would think twice about flying on this plane with him in command.

Lot of people do not understand that one of the main dangers of flying is having a pissed-off or mentally challenged pilot who might be harboring suicidal thoughts.

This one in the video looks like he is going through a great deal of mental stress and I would be very wary about being on a plane he is flying.

Most of those trado-bonesetters end up doing more harm than good. To them, all bone and muscle injuries can be corrected by pulling and rubbing the area roughly. That way, they could end up aggravating what would have otherwise been a minor injury.

I STRONGLY advise anyone against patronizing them. Instead, seek out a good orthopaedic surgeon and get your injury checked out. It might be more expensive. But at least it could help save your limb.

Penguin2:
There was a simple instruction...

“Sit at home” but the idiot disobeyed.

The stubborn fly follows the corpse to the grave.

I’m sure the owner of the bread business has made all his profit now.

When I read statements like this, it just makes me feel that most Igbos do not have a problem with oppression if it is being perpetrated by fellow Igbos.

Is this the sort of repressive administration that IPOB wants to run in the Southeast? An administration that legislates people's freedom of movement and robs them of their rights to freely determine what they would like to do? If that is the case, why do they have a problem with being a part of Nigeria then? Or is it no longer oppression when an Igbo oppresses a fellow Igbo? Would you be this pragmatic if the bread seller was attacked by people from another tribe?

Rubbiish:
The bold is madness!
U mean a girl will ask her mother already seated at the front seat to go to the back? I don't believe any normal human will try that. Your friend is weak, reason his wife had the guts to ask his mother to vacate front seat when she was already seated!

Hmmm! There are a lot of things that do not make sense to me about this "woke generation." This front seat drama takes the cake.

If I had not witnessed it happen between my friend and his wife, I would have thought such was only found in Nollywood.

Stankovic22:
Good evening nairalanders!

This is what happened. A friend of mine who is like a brother to me and has impacted my life positively in every way bought a new car. We work together and live in the same neighborhood so we go-to work together.

It happens that I do sit in front with him always while the third guy stays at the back. So today, on our way back from work, the wife called for him to come pick her and when we got close and stuck in traffic, I decided to vacate the front seat and move to join the other guy at the back but while trying to go my friend was like guy where u dey go... I say I wan create space for Iyawo and he was like Wetin dey worry u, sit down jor but I insisted and went to the back.

So when we beat the traffic and picked up the wife she was like why is the front seat vacant and my friend said... He left the seat for u... The wife was like, please its wrong, that I shouldn't have left.

I was like its your space and I felt it was the right thing to do, to join my other guy at the back before we get to you.

People was I wrong to have vacated the seat?

Neither of you was wrong. You were right for respecting yourself and vacating the front seat because for some women it is a big deal and they can embarrass you.

She is not wrong in telling you not to vacate the front seat for her next time. She was basically just letting you know she has no qualms with such deference to her status. At least now you know that you won't be embarrassed if you decide to keep the front seat next time.

For some women, it is so much of a big deal that they will take exception if their mother-in-law or even their own mother decides to take the front seat.

I have a friend whose wife kicked up a very big fight by pointedly telling her mother-in-law to vacate the front seat where she was already seated and get into the back. The mother-in-law came down and angrily decided to take a cab to the venue of the event. Husband got angry, came down, and decided not to go to the event, and "madam front seat" was left alone to drive herself to the event. This incident happened last year. But I can tell you that things are yet to return to normal in that home even today because of that singular incident.

I do not know why people make an issue of small things like where to sit in a car.

SATANICALLY666:
2019 Election: Documents show Atiku paid $16.5 million to secure U.S. visa, destroy Buhari campaign

The deal was signed on October 26, 2018, three weeks after Mr Abubakar clinched the presidential nomination of the opposition Peoples Democratic Party to challenge President Muhammadu Buhari.



https://gazettengr.com/2019-election-documents-show-atiku-paid-16-5-million-to-secure-u-s-visa-destroy-buhari-campaign/

This article smells like a hatchet job paid for by someone or some people within the PDP.

The oracle is specifically pointing at one man like that from Kwara State who used to lead the legislature under the immediate past dispensation.

Anyway wetin be my own? Let all the polithiefcians continue to open each others bum bum in the public. One day, there will be a comeuppance for everyone that has had a hand in plundering our resources for selfish use.

haffaze777:
Two things will happen on dis thread,1 those who always believe whatever trash put forward by this useless Gazette will attack this news
2.Those who always attack Gazette whenever they wrote an article will defend this article

You gorrit!

HonNL:
Like Kaduna and Katsina States, the Niger State Government has issued a set of directives to curb the rising insecurity and banditry bedevilling the State.



SOURCE

Same Executive order issued by the governments of Katsina, Zamfara, Kaduna and Niger state. I am glad more state governors are beginning to realise there is more they can do than depend on the FG to resolve the crisis in their backyards. This move will negatively impact the economies of those states. But if it will help curb the criminal activities within the states, then it will pay off in the long run.

At least they are doing something unlike that clown in Benue State that mounts a soap box every month end issuing anti-Fulani propaganda and insulting Buhari to hide the fact that he is probably the worst governor in Nigeria.

valentineuwakwe:
Source: https://dailypost.ng/2021/08/30/i-have-document-fulani-want-to-takeover-nigeria-gov-ortom-insists/

A few years from now, Benue people are going to look back at the eight years this governor spent and realise it was an absolute waste. Nothing concrete to show but this consistent anti-Fulani propaganda.

greenguy:
This is dignity. Nigerian politicians know nothing about it.

They have seen poverty and believe the only way to secure themselves is to steal three generation's fortune and stash somewhere. Stupid lots.

Naaaaah this isn't dignity at all. Sounds more like laziness or a lack of vision and ambition to me. With an educational and experience profile like that, he is pecking way below his pedigree. Even God go vex for am.

If you doubt me, read about the parable of the talents told by Jesus in the Bible and relate it to this.

udomma1005:
We've come back to the main point.......
Las... Las.... Education Issa big scam, just use ur mind & hands, you'll rule your world!

Even if that was to be the case, how about his experience profile? Dude's been a CEO of a telecoms service provider for crying out loud!

This story makes absolutely no sense to be honest. 2 masters degrees in communication and engineering from Oxford University, former CEO, long experience in telecoms leadership and the only job he could get is pizza delivery boy

The story isn't adding up at all. We'll, except if he is under some kind of asylum arrangements that restricts him from applying for and getting any white collar job in Germany and perhaps the EU.

But with an educational and experience profile like that, he could offer business and management consulting services for a lot of money. The opportunities for someone like him is literally limitless anywhere in the world.

But pizza boy? Naaaah, there is more to the story.

Taich:
Why does he have to clarify every move?

Probably because a journalist asked him a question about the development.

You need to understand that when a public official is asked a question, the journalist can choose to make of the response they get, what they will...it is no longer under the control of the official what the journalist decides to write.

The official can of course decide to give a cryptic "no comments" response. Although that would still be news nonetheless.

wyt:
We have being in talks since January. We met in late February, then she visited me in late March. We started talking of marriage.

Now she is in my house for 4 months as she is doing her IT here. She found out I am not as buoyant as she wishes, as my business is dragging due to stuff I ordered that is coming through sea hasn't arrived, in fact, will arrive in late October or November.

We scheduled to get married last July but due to the financial issue and her parents saying we have to wait till she is done with school we have to change our plan but she is so bitter that she is not getting married as she planned. She will be going back to school in 2 weeks' time. since

Now, I have discovered that she hardly cum during sex, in fact, she hasn't cum while we make love. She once told me she makes herself cum that is before we met in person around February which she promised to stop.

After she found out my finances is not strong, she got back into chatting with men for cash, yes she told me that is how she makes money to survive in school, that she presents an aura of relationship to men and they will be giving her money, and when she is tired or when the person insist in seeing she will block or just fisle out.

Now she just told me she is lesbian, she is cos she can't get pregnant as her father is a pastor and can be satisfied without the risk associated with men/woman relationships. That she is attracted to women though she hasn't done that for a while as she has prayed against it. She still masturbates while in my house.

Note: she has gone to see my parents and I have met hers.

pls i want to know what i can do to stop her all these social immoralities.

Guy lemme put in short and straight English that will be easy for you to understand:

Run ooo! Japa! Tule! Free am!

When we pray to God to guide our choice of a life time partner, he most often does not send an angel to whisper in our ears. These observations about your fiancee are the sort of signs he lets us see, If you like, you can ignore them and forge ahead in spite of all of the obvious red flags.

Islie:
Muhammadu Buhari Doesn’t Bear His Father's Real Name — Farooq Kperogi

An associate professor in the United States and social critic, Farooq Kperogi, has stated that the personality of President Muhammadu Buhari seems controversial including the fact that he does not bear the real names of his father.

The scholar wrote extensively on how the President’s surname, Buhari, was not his father’s real name but a name derived from a particular town.

Kperogi added that Muhammadu Buhari’s father is called Adamu Bafallaje (or Bafalle in Hausa).

He wrote:



https://www.farooqkperogi.com/2021/08/top-5-lies-about-buhari-that-wont-go.html?m=1

This essay doesn't say anything new and frankly, the point of this elaborate treatise is lost on me.

President Buhari is almost at the end of his tenure. I expect that people like Mr. Kperogi will be focusing more on the people that will be throwing their hats into the ring for the 2023 elections.

MakotoShishio:
CAGED: 20 Days Captive In Nigeria - Rudy Rochman

"They Treated Us Like Animals"

The We Were Never Lost team journeyed to Nigeria to film an episode of their documentary series exploring the stories, struggles, and aspirations of the Igbo Jews, but while there the team got abducted by the Nigerian government and were held in cages for weeks.

Here is the full account of what actually happened.

“Our experience has only given us even more drive to uncover and share the stories of disconnected communities of Jews around the world.”

“We experienced weeks of what Igbo Jews face every day and if our suffering has led to mainstream Jews waking up to the reality of their Igbo family, then we our proud of the sacrifice we had to pay.”


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ER1feb37D-U



http://saharareporters.com/2021/08/09/we-were-caged-animals-nigerias-department-state-services-20-days%E2%80%94-israeli-filmmakers

Editor: Checkout How IPOB Bloggers captioned the story in the last photo collage

What did they expect really?

There is a separatist movement in that part of the country by people claiming to be jews and claiming Israel is about to launch a war on Nigeria to liberate them.

A bunch of guys show up from nowhere probably after obtaining tourist visas and begin to film a documentary. I frankly don't see how they could have avoided being arrested and interrogated.

I think the DSS only did what was right.

DSS detention isn't a 5-star accommodation so I don't know what the fuss is about. I am sure they were treated much better than their own security agencies will treat a Nigerian arrested for the same reason in their country.