₦airaland Forum

family6644:
I need serious advise from experienced nairalanders, please forgive my lengthy message because it requires detailed explanations.

I lost my wife exactly 3 months ago, 4 years of relationship and 13 years of marriage with her before she passed on, she left behind 3kids, 13yr old girl 7yr and 3yr old boys. I understand marriages are full of their challenges but we have been through the journey and we came out victorious having a loving and happy home, a union other partners appreciates.

My late wife was so organized and we trainned my kids to be independent while she travels on local business trips. So I just needed to continue our family habit of buying and stocking everything at home while they manage themselves with the help of an older maid who has been part of the family for many years, in short, we are faring quite well as I continue to mourn my wife and carry on with life.

Here is the problem, from a lot of condolence messages coming in on my Facebook, I had the chance to reply some of them 2weeks ago, I met this single mother of two who invited my kids to her daughter's birthday party, i was reluctant but she said it is time to start taking the kids out since they are yet to resume school, exactly what they needed at that point was the usual outing which has been missing for a while since their mother's sickness and after her demise, approx 6months in total. She said it's not a loud party that she needed only my kids for the small sitting room party.

I decided, went to the party with the kids, it was fun for the kids, I have not seen them happy like that in a long while, it made me happy too, they fell in love with the two sisters and their mother all like a miracle, my little 3year old boy started calling her mommy, others follow and it all seem like a family reunion. We left late at night with her girls asking that they meet again the next day which was a Sunday. To cut it short, my kids and hers agreed to meet the next day except for me. To be honest, the lady is a nice and lovely person to be with, she's a realtor who can work from home, she's real and beautiful, she has been a single mother for 4yrs after her husband travelled out and abandoned them to marry another woman, that's according to her.

She called me that her kids could not allow her rest, they said if we can't come, she should bring them to our house, I mildly rejected but i was persuaded by my daughter and my first son to have them around, I could see that they have bonded quite well, I want my kids to be happy too, that's what I have always wanted for them so I agreed and gave them our address. To cut the story short, I find it impossible to separate the two families that has come together to become one, when they were leaving back to their house my kids pleaded with me to allow them go with mommy to her house, I understand that is real because she's lovely with kids. I had the confidence to trust my kids with someone for the first time in my life. They didn't want to come back, I had to go and pick them up the next day, all of them made sure they came back home with me, we started living together as a family and everyone was enjoying it.

It became an automatic affair with her, I was worried about it been too early, I had to involve few of my friends to seek opinions, some were happy that i could get a good mother for my kids this soon, others asked me to stop the family union and give it a little time to study her character. I suggested some space but she felt very bad, she thinks I am sending them away. I had to allow them stay while I use the opportunity to observe the new found love and family.

12days after, I realize that in a bid to reorganize me and help me to move ahead in life, she totally disregards anything that concerns my late wife whom I still hold dear to my heart, same as my daughter and my adopted daughter, I don't like to address her as a maid. We loved and cherished my late wife, everything she introduced seems to be strange to the norms of the family. If I try to raise my concerns for her to adjust, she will simply tell me that the dead is dead and I should just forget everything about her including whatever she stood for as a mother and wife.

If I try to talk some senses into her to make her understand that brooding over the dead is different from honouring and respecting the deseased, she gets really angry claiming I am comparing her with a dead person. Whatever she discovers as our way of doing things in the family she disregards it and replaces it with her own way without minding how we feel as a family or how easy or difficult it is for us to adjust.

It looks like we are the only ones tolerating and accommodating them here, I have tried with no avail to stop her from insulting the memory of my late wife. I discussed with each and everyone at home, they all wish I could perform a miracle to have them leave because no one can tolerate the mother and kids anymore, I am equally fed up myself and willing to take a break.

I have a friend who is aware of my problems with her, he told me that I am the problem here, he said it will be hard for any woman to fit into our family way of doing things and it will be difficult for us to cope with a different way of life introduced by another woman.

I hope I can get one or two advices that could help. I am quite confused

Omihanifa:
https://punchng.com/well-keep-baba-ijesha-until-jusun-resumes-police-tell-protesters/

Maxymilliano:
https://www.reubenabati.com.ng/index.php/component/k2/item/29396-people-misquoted-me-i-didn-t-mean-to-mock-adeboye-over-son-s-death-sunday-igboho/post

Racoon:
Whao! What a time to be alive seeing the so called unknown BH terrorists and their sponsors, well wishers and supporters overtly revealing themselves for all to see

Imagine these people advocating for a well known and hardened terrorists to become the president.They have given Nigeria a terrorist supporter as president anyway.Daily Trust have joined the league.

RuudVanNisteroy:
https://www.vanguardngr.com/2021/04/abuja-kano-road-pdp-calls-for-review-of-n212bn-per-kilometre-cost/

thatsleepboy1:
Wow wow wow!!! Their secrets are gradually coming out to the public.

Gjrich:
We Have Killed Captured Fulani Bandits’ Leader, Mohammed Isa, We Don’t Spare Terrorists— IPOB



http://saharareporters.com/2021/03/11/we-have-killed-captured-fulani-bandits%E2%80%99-leader-mohammed-isa-we-don%E2%80%99t-spare-terrorists%E2%80%94

ivolt:
The appointment letter is authentic. They are just shocked that it leaked out.

expressglory:
Source: https://www.vanguardngr.com/2021/02/fg-has-frozen-my-bank-accounts-sunday-igboho-raises-the-alarm/amp/

mastermaestro:
You are being delusional! Which Nigerian court are you talking about? The courts presided over by judges whose homes are sometimes invaded by the same FG-enabled DSS?

Today Twitter guarantees you justice more than any court in Nigeria!

envoymedia:
US-based Nigerian professor and Political columnist, Okey Ndibe was allegedly detained by the DSS before being allowed to board his flight yesterday January 20, IgbereTV reports.

Tge disclosure was made on Twitter by Nigerian-born former Chief of Staff to the Board of Montgomery County Public Schools in Rockville, Maryland, (MCPS) USA, Ikhide Roland Ikheloa.

Ikhide tweeted;


https://twitter.com/ikhide/status/1352009876906668036?s=19

He later made an updated on the tweet. He wrote;


https://twitter.com/ikhide/status/1352016174956089345?s=19[/quote]Nothing untoward here in my own opinion.

People get pulled over all the time at airports across the world.

As long as he wasn't whisked away to an underground cell somewhere afterwards, I think we are making a mountain out of a molehill.

The DSS and other security agencies should be allowed to do their jobs. If anyone feels their rights have been infringed, take it up with the law.

Twitter isn't a court.

Pmpm:
https://punchng.com/pigeons-released-by-buhari-refuse-to-fly-at-armed-forces-remembrance/?amp=1

Hillard:
I Foresee Nigeria’s Break Up, Coup If… – Prophet Olagunju



https://www.sunnewsonline.com/new-year-prediction-i-foresee-nigerias-break-up-coup-if-prophet-olagunju/

privaldo:
By AbdulGafar Alabelewe, Kaduna



THE NATION

valentineuwakwe:
source: https://dailypost.ng/2020/12/18/aisha-condemns-nigerian-govt-for-using-miyetti-allah-to-negotiate-release-of-kankara-schoolboys/

ChoCho54:
That's true.

Army will always say "but you should have known better".
It's a regimented organization where you one the last order.

If he resigned before doing what he did, it won't carry much wait.

He's lucky to get a demotion, he should resign thereafter

tot:
This nullifies every other thing, sorry.

This issue has only just started. The army and govt must be held accountable. Human life matters. Eod.

tot:
You really must be kidding. Have you seen the timeline of the different accounts by the governor and the army, starting from the initial denial that they were not there at all, no life was lost, blank bullets to no bullets - several inconsistent accounts, you did not see those massive gaping holes in the whole thing right? It's really a hard job to be a zombie and have to defend nonsense.

Houstency:
You aren't different from them Sir, they have atleast tried to show some videos, kindly show yours to show the shots were aimed into the air, else you stand know moral grounds to dispel their claims without backing it up with your own evidence.

lalasticlala:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkStuWXgySU
#EndSARS: CNN Releases second report on Lekki shootings

CNN has released a second report with videos showing soldiers shooting at unarmed protesters on October 20, 2020 at Lekki Tollgate. The CNN new report also shows protesters running as soldiers open fire at the tollgate.

The fresh report also shows Brig.Gen Ahmed Taiwo admitting before the judicial panel in Lagos that his men took live ammunition to the tollgate. It also shows that Brig.Gen Taiwo’s claim is at variance with information minister, Lai Mohammed's claim that the army fired blank bullets.

Extra: "We continue to stand by our reporting" - CNN tells the Nigerian government

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzRL5gZcCbc

Nato008:
so if we follow ur narrative then minister lai lied...and plus all are u saying that everyone who died in lagos was transported to that particular morgue..cause that is what u are implying�

primestreams:


I thought no one was killed


Bloody liars

Gift52:
Come and see Inside The N1Billion House In Ikoyi Lagos!!

Research shows that this one of the most costliest mansions in Nigeria
it has almost everything.

watch video here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UZnnPkYqvY
source;
https://www.instagram.com/tv/CHuW5tRFfDg/?igshid=12utqjnzr5g28

allwell51:
BBNaija’s Angel calls out Police woman who allegedly assaulted her.

Watch video here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqE9lTx8SeA

The reality show star who identified the woman as Kate Ogbe alleged that she is responsible for the death of his mother and also largely responsible for the incapacitation of his father.



https://www.instagram.com/p/CHpM4bKnSO8/?igshid=1dsxjxsdxngiz

creolehunt:
About 2 years ago, my brother started working for this company as an intern. The agreement with his manager was that he will be confirmed within 6 months. After about 18months without confirmation, he resigned from the job but still kept contact with people from his former job.

Fast forward to some weeks ago, he heard that his former company needed personnel at a new branch in a new state and it's strictly an internal recruitment. So he met his former manager and expressed interest, the manager pushed his name (eligibility is dependent solely on recommendation by your branch manager) and he alongside others went through series of interviews at the end of which he was employed. Suffice to say that the HR manager was part of these interviews.

He was sent an offer letter plus other documents and he resumed last week monday. Last week Tuesday, he was called by the HRM who asked him series of questions after which the HRM said he didn't know all this while that my brother isn't an active staff and that he (the HRM) was hoodwinked by the branch manager. His argument was tgat there were other eligible candidates who could have been recommended, but the manager brought someone from outside.

Now, the offer letter to my brother has been withdrawn. Same guy that resigned his job the moment he received this offer, he has even told everyone that mattered tgat he was relocating.
Please is there anything we can do to salvage this, it's so heartbreaking. I don't know where they expect him to start from when he gets home.

Desmond Elliot is clearly a chameleon acting like he is for the youth and still condemning us amongst his colleagues he worsened it by calling us children lmaoooo e no try pic.twitter.com/N0NkH6KNSK

— Olamide Gbemisola (@TheGbemms) October 29, 2020