₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
1. We can't both be said to be in agreement since we are both not saying the same things at all.

2. God instituted, and then cursed marriage, along with man himself, after man fell. That is what took place in Genesis.

3. Paul, assuming he infact wrote that letter, was wrong in supposedly providing clarity to what is a hierarchy born of God's curse on man. God never sent anyone out to preach the old curse to anyone else.

God sent Jesus Christ to redeem us from God's curse - Genesis 3 vs 16 - 22, and He gave us rules to allow us live above the curse. In Jesus Christ, the only head/Master over each and everyone who belongs to God is Jesus Christ and Jesus Christ alone. No one can serve two masters in the Kingdom of God, that much He made abundantly clear.

4. Yes, I can imagine such a discussion and even such things are made simple when you only go with someone who agrees with you you in such things before marriage than marrying your opposite only to then seek ways to rule over them in marriage.

Again, for those who are of Jesus Christ, there can be no other master except Jesus Christ. What you However describe here is a situation of one who lives comfortably, and delusionally, under the curse which is against Jesus Christ.

5. No man has right given him by God to silence his fellow. So what Paul supposedly did here is equally wrong.

In the Kingdom of God, there are no males or females, jews or gentiles, black or whites.... there are only Sons of God and Jesus Christ is the one and only Head/Master, Teacher, Shepherd, Helper, Guide, Comforter and first born above each of them.

There is where we agree to disagree.

Five different times the Jewish leaders gave me thirty-nine lashes. 25 Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked. Once I spent a whole night and a day adrift at sea. 26 I have traveled on many long journeys. I have faced danger from rivers and from robbers. I have faced danger from my own people, the Jews, as well as from the Gentiles. I have faced danger in the cities, in the deserts, and on the seas. And I have faced danger from men who claim to be believers but are not.[c] 27 I have worked hard and long, enduring many sleepless nights. I have been hungry and thirsty and have often gone without food. I have shivered in the cold, without enough clothing to keep me warm. 28. Then, besides all this, I have the daily burden of my concern for all the churches.

You are telling me that a man who went through all that is wrong ?

Isn't all Scripture breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work - so how can he be wrong ?

In the Kingdom of God, there are no males or females, jews or gentiles, black or whites [i][/i]- The theme of his discourse here is harmony and unity we are all one in Christ . Which we are in marriage ! Yet, in the hierarchy the man is the head of the household . Even in the kingdom of God there is hierarchy. Jesus had disciples who became apostles - we have labels ( Pastors, Teachers, Apostles, Evangelist , Prophets for order) without this we will be in chaos.

postmann:
it's getting dumasaphobic already.

This should not be personal, we are all learning and if we need to unlearn what we have read & trusted and relearn , that is an individual prerogative to do. You are not going to change one's thought process in few hours but at least it will provide food for thought.

Kobojunkie:
Stop deceiving yourself thinking you deceive God!

Jesus Christ said everyone in the Kingdom of God are equals, not sometimes and not in some institutions - Matthew 23 vs 8 - 10. He alone is Head and Master over each and everyone who belongs to Him - You can't serve two Masters/Head in the Kingdom of God - Matthew 10 vs 28. Christ also said your marriages are of this world and not of the Kingdom of God - Luke 20 vs 34 - 36.

The But you however claim in your statement above is not of Jesus Christ or of the Kingdom of God , but of your need to assert God's curse on marriage as the rule over you this since you cannot seem to trust God's Will, Jesus Christ, over the curse which you have rationalized for yourself.

My 2 cents - You are both saying the same thing.
In Genesis - God Instituted marriage - You both agree
You both agree on the Curse - which was that she would long for a husband but he would have authority over her.

Paul in Ephesians provides clarity with regards to Hierarchy and leadership - You cannot have 2 captains run a ship . Christ is the head , followed by the Man and then woman. They are both equal yet when a final decision on a matter is to be said, this decision lies with the head of the family.( the man) .
Could you imagine - discussing ways to discipline a child - one parent says face the wall, the other parent says go to your bed. The guy will be confused whose order does he obey. ( pardon my lousy example) but to avoid confusion. One must lead.
Where the man is not available, the woman is equally equipped to carry out the responsibilities as head of the household.
Paul further when dealing with an Issue in the epistles further says woman should be silent in the church and learn from their husbands ( I understand the reason why but its to show that man in his household have a certain leadership authority over women)

Victerica:
Grabs Vaseline in peace!

Haha ! At least you aren't faking that you detest the picture !

siofra:
Wow!

She has a beautiful body. The type the Kardashians will risk their life and thousands of dollars for.

exactly !! All natural. Guys lets be real... I would tap that ass . She's smoking hot !

[quote author=Cholls post=111853914][/quote]Lol Pictures says a thousand words . Man alive ! She's smoking hot !!!

ellaV:
thanks ..your one of the best advise I have read here...he love our kids 60% though

Wow- That tough! 60% . Honestly, I think with all the advise you have gotten so far on this thread. You should have an action plan.
I like to whiteboard stuff down and map action plans. Tomorrow waits for no man or woman. What has your pop's got to say on the matter. If I was a parent, I would devastated that my daughter is going through this and I would like to think your husband would consider him a son and might listen to him.
For me, I have no plans to get a dime from any man my daughter chooses to marry. For the day her life is her marriage is insecure and before she descends into mental health issues, and she leaves on her own accord. She will always have a bed in my house.

Kobojunkie:
Her lopsided heart, you mean?

I read her differently though. There is only so much you can share on an Internet forum and for her to even post must have been trying !!
She obviously has gotten so weird advice from friends regarding mother-in-law etc .
I think the crux of the matter is that she doesn't want to be a stay at home wife. She's a spirited person and wants to work something which her husband is against. Now there are 2 sides to every coin but if one steps back and tries to read in between the lines. She's made some errors but she's a nice person who deserves our sympathy and support.

Kobojunkie:
Storyland, Storyland!
land of music fun and tales
Storyland, storyland, bring your friends along!

Oga you wicked o. Madam dey pour her heart out, It becomes children tv show jingle !

ellaV:
he told me , if I move out , I have no means to take care of the kids.so I will leave them n he will employ a nanny...he said this to me when when we were having an altercation..

Okay - so are slowly getting some answers. I honestly don't know if I would trust the advice of an Internet person (me ) wholeheartedly.
You really want someone who has gone through this experience and can provide their personal touch.
That being said - You have to do what's good for you. You have to do what's good for you ( Repeated 2ce for effect)
What is wrong in getting Masters ? What is wrong in working ?
So - Does he love the kids. ? Does he love them enough that even when he gets a nanny , the kids will not be abused or mistreated.
How old are the kids ?
Listen people survive broken homes. ( It isn't ideal but the list of kids who have gone on to do wonders is as long as the 2nd Niger bridge)
Has he said, he won't support you or doesn't want you to work ?

Don't give up on your marriage - Fight !!!. But if it feels you're the only one carrying the weight... You do what's best for you.

ellaV:
thank you God bless you...I got pregnant and my parents told him he must marry me besides he is my lover and first love so no biggie

So that answers that question - So if he loves the kids would he support them if you move out ?
Are you able to take care of them on your own once you get a job ?

Listen - Answers abound however we may not be prepared to do what it takes once we hear them. Good luck

ellaV:
I am married to a man for 6 years who goes about telling anyone whose cares to listen that he is not the marriage type and family guy..we have two kids,he doesn't want to set a business up for me,give me money for upkeep,or give me money to start my Masters...this is someone that has millions as savings and I borrowed 20k from access bank since last year March he can't give me money to pay...I decided to work, 3 months to the work,I was dropped I did my findings,someone came to testify negatively about me to my boss and that was it...I apply for jobs,a contradicting mail will be sent to the company and i won't be calledi,I graduated with 2:1...my husband buys my phone and it's only him that has access to my mail,i asked him if he did that he said no, but I know it's him...as am talking to you know everyone in my area has light since 4 days ago because we use prepaid meter,light has finished, he is not moved that we are in darkness? He traveled for a job since 5 days ago and he don't care,there is so much I want to say but let me not bore you...I feel unproductive and stucked in this marriage, pls what should I do? I went to church and I was told his mum is in the water kingdom and tied him to herself that he only listens to her and whatever I say means nothing, all he does is sleep with me , that's all, if you knew me when I was single , you will be in awe to see me now...what should I do pls?

This was posted by ellaV ( a female) yet with a male indicator. ( m)

Nonetheless - I will tell you what I am sensing and possible action plans.
First all - Quite a dilemma you find yourself. I pray you wisdom and tactfulness as you navigate through this.
1. There is something called a 7 year inch. - Most marriages have it. You start with courtship, honeymoon phase, real life phase and this is where you both actually begin to grow in the relationship. Most marriages once they survive the 7 years period can survive anything if they want to keep the relationship together.
2. Presence of kids makes this complicated - How does he treat the kids does he shower them with love and attention ?
3. How is the relationship in the bed between you two - I ask this because the signs indicate that there is someone or something competing for attention elsewhere. Sleeping with you in one thing but how is another thing.
4. Was he trapped into marrying u ? - You claim he goes around telling people that he is not the marrying type etc.

Now this sounds borderline like an abusive relationship. But I am yet to hear his side of the story.

What I would suggest you do are the following.
- Keep applying for work.
- There has to be someone in your family who can offer you a soft loan if you want to open a business / work.
- Now the bigger Issue is this - Have you communicated your feelings to him ( not nagging - written down objectively )
What did he say and what were his responses or action plans.
- As you have laid out these accusations against him - what steps are you doing to adjust/change as well.
- Seek out someone who knows the two of you and ask his advise. If he doesn't respect a spiritual authority a Pastor wont do.

- Listen, I wont advise you continue in an abusive relationship (either physically, financially , emotional or socially. ). Hey, you may not be able to "erase" but you can surely tear out the page and start afresh don't wait till its too late.

my 2 cents....

sinistermind:
So I need you guys opinion and getting an opinion from a legal standpoint is even better.

Mrs. K got married to Mr. B. Before the Marriage Mrs. K had a daughter who bears Mrs. K maiden name. The daughter lived with both Mrs. K and Mr. B as their daughter till they passed though there was never an official adoption. Mr. B and Mrs. K never had any child together.
Before Mr. B died, he gave “their” Power of Attorney. In his Will, he stated that Mrs. K is his sole beneficiary to his Estate but unfortunately she died before him and he was too sick to update the Will.

Question: Does “their” daughter have any legal claim to the property? Since he didn’t die intestate.

Before the eyes of the Law the daughter who lived with them is considered theirs and therefore sole survivor.
Now for a twist. Let's say that the husband is alive and both daughter and step-dad are not on good terms. The judge will likely split the estate . Being that she is only heir of the woman. And Mrs K is no longer alive, It should fall to the daughter.
P.S - Why not pay a Lawyer and get this as a fact.

Nedstar:
Hi guys,
So here’s the gist I am not the very social type, as a matter of fact I have zero friends which obviously sucks but that’s no the main issue. Today my girlfriend posted a pic all over her social media pages and account like seriously I’m even tired of getting notification only to see it’s the same pic on different platforms. So the thing got me wondering, as she’s posting the pics showing off her cleavage I was wishing I could counter by just posting pictures of me balling with 4 babes on my side on something like that. So guys please how do I fake it so she can be jealous, because she’s the very jealous type the moment she sees me having fun with other ladies she be all over my dm with sad and crying emoji’s. Me self go like show off small.

It reeks of immaturity. Faking is not the solution. Making her jealous isn’t either . Communicate with her. If they are pics of her why aren’t you in the pics with her . Opposite should attract .

Kriss216:

Wish I could dash you 10 likes !

[quote author=Kriss216 post=111811106] [/quote.

olorunthobby:
- When she starts with her list of complaints or instructions, simply kiss her affectionately and try to divert her attention. Over the time, she will ease down too.

- Derail all her arguments with a sudden and unexpected act of kindness. In fact, any nice gesture from you during this irritated time would be unexpected for her.

- Do something so romantic and out of character, that she will suddenly forget all the complaints. eg Buy her flowers, take her out for candle light dinner, or simply make some iced tea for her.

- Instead of giving instant reactions to her, remember to pause and think. Ask yourself whether she meant anything negative by the comment she made.

- If she nags you about your habits, like working late, spending time with friends or your eating habits, then just explain to her that there are some things in your life that she has to accept, if she loves you. This is always better than arguing with her and getting into a fight. Just tell her to accept you with your faults, and trust us, she will eventually learn to ignore the things that annoy her.

- Believe me, you can stop your wife from all that irksome nagging. Just pay attention to what she keeps complaining about the most. Maybe it is in your capacity to change. Simply follow these easy tips, and mark the difference in her behaviour.

- And lastly,
Take a break. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, remember? So, take a break from each other. Try to be away for a little while. You can plan a short getaway with your friends, or schedule an outstation business meeting. This will give you both enough time to value your relationship. So, during this break, just try to remember all those points. By the end of the break, you both will miss each other and you will forget the nagging soon.


I wish you a happy home afterwards

Masterclass !
She’s a keeper guys - If she’s available get her at all cost. Well written and articulate. Hope the “black sapphire “ and others taking notes.

MadamVanessa:







Omo, see me come with fury, I open the thread with so much anger and annoyance , only for me to end up laughing.

Lol ����.,same here!
I was like - Which son of Adam “ beat “ women and is bold enough to post . Only to lol .
Nice one OP!

Plus who took the 3rd picture with you lying on the bed ?

Why is this in Romantic sections anyways

Frustration doesn’t mean you can’t be prepared for an opportunity to come or even tidy. For you to even post such pics just reeks of laziness.

Even if person want to give, my hand just fails to extend.

Qatar2022:
Her father was rapped when he was a kid

Savage comment

willyo:
She's obviously not a realist. She envisages things that are almost non practical. How can a lady insist u must build a house of ur own before contemplating marriage?

My salary is a little above #150,000 and that's what all responsibilities fall on. Except for other side pays(like my POS biz), that's all i depend upon to offset all bills that comes my way.

We've dated like a year plus and early February, i told her about my intention on seeing her parents. That's when i got the shocker of my life. She said before she can consent for us to go ahead, that i must build a house of my own. That she wouldn't live on rentals while she's married. I was shocked seeing almost all the neighbors in other flats are married with kids and they're doing alright.

We had a minor quarrel that night and out of anger, i asked her to leave. She went home that night. I called in the morning but she sounded off the line so i ignored her.

Since then we hadn't spoken. Ego hasn't let me bow to calling her again. I do love her tho and there's this feeling that's urging me to call her.


What should i do?. Pls advice

Do not forget the days of humble beginnings…
Love must be practical, ore. You start with rentals then you progress up.

I have friend who got married and stayed in the basement of his mother-in-law ( wife’s mom- dad deceased) with his wife they were there for 2 years until they saved enough to stay in an apartment. ( they paid the mother in law rent - heavily subsidized but they paid when living in the basement ) They had their first 2 kids and then moved to a house. The value of that house is N50m. But this was after 7 years of both parents working and saving to reach their goals

Rome wasn’t built in a day. If you can’t change her mindset , her thinking - then she is not the one. What is she going to demand next . Buy me a car before I have a baby ?

>:

EmzyT:
[s][/s]


I miss 2 minutes ago, when I never knew this Rubbish existed!

Savage comment
In short you want your 2 mins back

MadamVanessa:








You're fun of saying this. I know it's hurtful when things like this happen, as such, our emotions drives us to say things that sound so stupid on ears.


Darling, deep down you , you know that not all men are paedophile, pervert, animal or whatever demeaning names you may call them.


You're always one sided with your judgement. I have never seen you condemned any evil done by women, it's only men you talk much about, and I hardly see my fellow girls here condemned any evil done by women, but under this thread you'll see men condemning this action of their fellow man, that makes them so different from us and that's the reason I like them regardless of their endless insult on women.

My account have been called catfish account severally because I am not the type that when my gender does wrong I tried to.justifies it, but when a male gender does wrong I carry it on my head like galla. I said it the way it is . It was on this ground that I discovered that nairaland has been structured in such a way that if a girl go against a fellow girl action and condemn such action, nairalanders both male and female will see such account as a fake account owned by a man.

You are dead on correct Madam. And she seems to derive a certain joy by posting these rape stories. And blaming all the males for the sin of one man. No sane man or person will condole rape. Name calling is also her M.O. Rape is bad and bad is Rape.
She should look into her soul and deal with her internal personal and confront that man.

kinzation:
I just hope they gave the man "the lion share "

NGBOSA !!!!

onajo2000:
The eggs and sperm are not her so she can't claim the babies

The eggs are her’s. They were extracted and artificial inserminated with sperm and placed back in carrier.

Vinnie2000:
Ogbeni, ignore dat girl pls. Her problem big pass you!

Thanks. Advice duly noted.

Jennyclay:
You're not serious. C'mon get lost!!

Yikes - there you again proving my point.
Looking for cheap points and dishing out
Insults . A waste of time and energy.

Jennyclay:
There is this popular UFC sport man, Samuel Adesanya, who made a joke concerning rape on Twitter. I love the way the white folks handled him. I was totally in support of what they did to him.

He lost so many endorsement deals, just because of a silly joke he made about rape. I was so happy. Next time I'm 100% sure he won't make sure a silly joke again.

Like I said earlier, if this was a sane forum. You and op should have been banned.

Nonsense!!!!!

Again - where is the joke ?
I have asked you 2ce -
Just show me my error ? A nice fellow just pointed out something to me. Yet, you continue to spread lies and dance around the question .

rickpat:
u're welcome...


nice Nick...btw

haha ! right back at you