₦airaland Forum

siofra:
When walking on the road, I don't greet Nigerian men anymore because who knows if I might be greeting a rapist, wife beater, sexual predator

Now they think I'm hostile or proud but I don't care.

Wow and her profile pic pretty but nothing in the skull of hers. If you were blonde I’ll say you were having a blonde moment.

Just say hi, I don’t need your number or want to know your name. Stop generalizing Madam.

rickpat:
Ricks are always special...I GREET YOU PLENTY PLENTY...LOL

I was reading your response to the Op and I said “ this person sounded matured and seasoned “ so I scroll up and lol when I see your moniker” .
Trust your day has been good.

Kriss216:
1. No man will abandon a good woman, always remember this.

2. Never believe the words of a Nigerian girl.

3. You can't ascertain if you truly love a woman until you bang her recklessly.

4. May the force be with you.

I disagree bro with number 1-3
1. I had to abandon good women. I was hustling and was not prepared to settle down.
2. Can’t lump all gals together.
3. The More banging the less interesting they become. You get bored and look for something different.

rickpat:
slow down a little...keep marriage a little bit far from the conversation for now...get to know her more,enjoy the moments...and build the confidence that you must have dating or marrying an older woman (10 years is no joke)...once she hits 40..hope you will still love and be proud of her? will you still go out with her...on date nights,movies, occasions?...these are the confidence you must start to build...you must always see her inner beauty more everyday... AND DON'T HEAR OR CARE ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE SAY...bro please take it slow... marriage is no joke...it's too early...just continue to grow and water the love...loving an older woman is great..cus they love truly...but IT TAKES MATURITY OF THE HEART AND HEAD TO LOVE THEM RIGHTLY...I HONESTLY WISH YOU THE BEST

I’m with rick here …… enjoy the relationship . Give it a year and see where it goes.
After that you have “ our blessings” ( not that you need it ) to put a ring on the finger.

BadeAnimashaun:
Wow everywhere is so fresh. Lucky to be out here in the world again.

Hmmm... 8years of my life wasted because of my because of Anuoluwapo as she accused me of rape.

Wow. Life is never what I dreamt. Lord, telling you all the secrets I've been keeping.

Sometimes I feel there's no God. Because if there's, he should know the truth of the matter between me and Anuoluwapo and fight for me. Knowing very well I didn't rape her. She accused me only because I ended resisted sex with her and she's dating my friend Habeeb when we went to sit for Waec Exams in Kaduna, Rigasa in Hanat College in 2014.

We were both in the room together that year when she walked in with wrapper. She pulled me to the wall but I resist and refused making out with her because Habeeb is my friend. When she shouted and called people for help and accused me of rape. Even my best friend habeeb believed her.

What a world. No one even listened to me. I was dragged to the station.

Her parent came down and I was sent to court where I was remanded in prison.
Hmmm... Life. To my mum who I lost in the course of looking for a way to take me out, may your soul rest in peace.

Now Anuoluwapo is married with 2kids. Hmmm. Life

All my mates have gone far in life, wow.

Sounds like a classic case of Joseph from the bible. Only in your case, you’re back to square one and not in pharoah court.

So what do you want to do with your life ?
What skills have you learnt ?
How do you know Anu is married with kids ?
Has she confessed to you that’s she sorry ?

Why do we still have a Sani Abacha anything ? That name should be removed from any local/state/federal infrastructure.

echomanji:
I have a wife and a 3Yr old baby. My wife is my issue tho.

1) she has low sex drive of which i've learnt to live wit without cheating on her.

2) she is overjealous to the extent of calling any of my friends that demands too much of my attention to backoff, most especially the female friends.

3) gets angry so easily and when she does, she doesnt even talk to me for days, nt even greeting. Even when she is at fault. I'll be the one begging. She only asks me for money to cook and that is all.

I'm tired of this to be honest and i'm considering calling it quits. I love her with all my heart bt this marriage is torment 4 me. I'm getting fed up wit the whole thing. I've tried severally to talk sense into her all to no avail.

Need advice pls.....

Your side of the story is low sex drive
What is her side of the story - Do you have a hyper or overactive sex appetite ?

These are your options
1. You sit her down and talk to her not “ at “ her.
Listen sex is an important part of a marriage to me. I would like us to “do the nasty “3 times a week. I find that I am drawn to other women and porn to satisfy my urge. What do you say ?
If she says she doesn’t care then your other
2 option might be to leave the marriage.

I am weary about you leaving the marriage because you have only mentioned “ low sex drive” as her issue . You haven’t mentioned any other perceived flaw , so how do you know the grass is greener on the other side ( with another woman , who may not love your child as your own and comes with her own baggage)

If your interested I’ll recommend 2 items for you to read together and watch. I’ll recommend the DVD.
https://www.amazon.ca/Laugh-Your-Way-Better-Marriage/dp/1416558799/ref=asc_df_1416558799/?tag=googlemobshop-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=292962612622&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11152984564419500361&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1002604&hvtargid=pla-350146903655&psc=1

GoodLuck !

emmanuellex:
Hi guys. Please I need your advice.
About 3 years ago I found out she was in my friends house while she told me she was going back to her family after visiting me in my school.

I hacked into her WhatsApp messages due to my suspicions with how she often keeps her phone from me and I saw the chat between she and my friend telling him that she missed her period.

I love her so much and I decided to let go due to her statement about what she did was because I also cheated on her with a friend of hers. There was no evidence that I ever did such.

Everything was going fine until this year 2022 when I discovered she’s doing thesame with another guy.

Please I need your advice.

No more free advice . If you don’t know what to do. Pay me for an hour consultation and I’ll let you know.

emmanuellex:
Hi guys. Please I need your advice.
About 3 years ago I found out she was in my friends house while she told me she was going back to her family after visiting me in my school.

I hacked into her WhatsApp messages due to my suspicions with how she often keeps her phone from me and I saw the chat between she and my friend telling him that she missed her period.

I love her so much and I decided to let go due to her statement about what she did was because I also cheated on her with a friend of hers. There was no evidence that I ever did such.

Everything was going fine until this year 2022 when I discovered she’s doing thesame with another guy.

Please I need your advice.

How did you “ hack “ her WhatsApp message ?
Or you mean you viewed her WhatsApp messages when she left her phone open ?

GraciousGod190:
https://www.nairaland.com/7080619/father-dragging-moms-property-me


Reading all the abuses I got from nairaland, from fellow nairalanders calling me a bastard, ungrateful son all because I was fighting for what was right and not material things.

My mom before she left us, the properties were passed down to her from her parents,(which some they inherited from their Grandparents) she didn't really have to do nothing a full time house wife.. because only the house rents alone she receives from tenants a year from different buildings kept her okay.... some were used for my education, I was made to understand here on nairaland that those properties belong more to my dad, so he can sell it out any way he deem fit... since he married her,. Even though they are ancestral properties.


But, I still don't agree....


So I reported my father to the most senior man in my mother's kindreds, from her father side. I went there on Saturday evening and narrated everything to him...the first thing he said was


YOUR FATHER NOR FIT (in our native language)

He was so angry that he had to call another man and told him everything on the phone, I went back to my house..... and got a call Sunday afternoon to come back around, to my surprise I saw my father there with lots of extended family members and they gave him a stern warning not to try anything funny with those lands.

That our trybe don't sell family lands, house.. inherited property.. that what even gave him the right to think about doing something like that in law for that matter... while my mom has a son...they even said I as the son can't even sell those lands talkless my father.

They ask him, if it was financial issue that gave him that thinking, at first he wanted to deny about selling before he admitted it...my father is not poor, a retired nnpc staff receiving his pension steadily.....he just likes having a lot of money to spend anyhow.... and seeing those lands available he thought he could sell them... but the family proved him wrong and there's nothing he can do about it.

I haven't called my mother kindreds from my my mother side, still observing.. while we Left the meeting, my dad was cold all through..I know he must have narrated to some of his educated friends..let's see if he will take this to court.

This doesn't have nothing to do with me again, but with my mothers kindreds.

Glad you have settled the issue. You are one of the very few who returned to give “testimony”
Well now that you have made a 2 person matter an issue for the whole court. With you as the only person standing in his way. Haven’t you made yourself a target ?
As you have been warned “ even you - the son can’t sell any property”

God1000:
For those of you that think Barack Obama is evil because of his policies and stance on homosexuality, he's a surefooted Christian, a true believer in Christ, he goes to church regularly.


You can see him reading the holy bible

He's a proud Blackman as well, I remember him going to his ancestral homeland keyna as senator and president.

There is something called liberal/Progressive Christian ( Democrats ) and Conservative Christian ( Republicans )
Obama belongs to the former.
How you can read the bible and call gay unions marriage ? I don’t understand. Call it something else.
We need to also understand - growing up in black America having your rights as blacks being trampled upon and called second class citizens without being called that directly but through policies - you tend to swing along with people (Gays) whose rights you feel were also trampled upon. Kinda like birds of the same feather flock together.
Hate him or love him- The dude had swag , was loved all over the world , presided over the biggest financial disaster since the Great Depression, introduced Obamacare and not a single personal scandal in office.

Can’t wait for his real book to come out on the racial prejudices the family faced in office!
His wife being called “ he” instead of she till today.. People are evil.

When I was studying for my WAEC exams - I was beginning to get a lot of female attention. There was the incident I mentioned in an earlier thread with a friends sister. There is another one where I dated sisters and lost them both and some other ones.
In any case my school Ifako grammar had a pre WAEC exam in which I preformed woefully. Not bad IMO but less than expected. ( I would attend school from 8-4pm have an hour break and start evening class 5-7pm. Monday - Friday. On weekends I would wake up 4-6am to study before the rest of the family would wake up to study.
So they my dad and my uncle thought the investment was not yielding the reward. So they told every single female that I was not available. I wouldn’t know they came by. I would just hear from the grapevine that they left a message.
Some said I left a msg with your dad ( I would laugh and say , oh that’s why I never got the msg)
One day, I grew tired and asked my dad and uncle why they stopped my female friends.
They said dude - sex in the right contents is good and that when you are older you will have sex and grow tired of sex. He said women will throw themselves at you and you would say no. I laughed then but fast forward - they are right.

My whole preamble is to say - you have to spice your relationship up.
- Make it spontaneous sometimes
- Roleplay - you doctor she patient.
- Have targeted date night and movie.
- spread it out . 2ce a week
- You need to replenish some nutrients in you ( libido
- Take a weekend with the boys ( Absence makes the heart grow fonder)
- Look inward - Sex shouldn’t be stressful but dealing with other stuff mentally affects your sex life.
- what is your love language and hers as well . It could be gifts, communication ( writing her little notes and poems) or physicality . It doesn’t also have to end in coitus .

Goodluck

GraciousGod190:
As much as I hate bringing this here, I need advice on ways to go about this..is it right for a father to drag his wife wealth with his son, knowing fully well, the son is now a grown man.

My mom left us with lot of properties she acquired as inheritance from her father and mother side, been the only surviving child, while she was still around some relatives wanted to grab some of it...claiming she's a woman...but seeing she had a grown up son which was me they had to maintain and stay on their lane... besides my mom was never the sluggish type.

Now, my dad is trying to drag this property with me, saying he wants to sell some of the land without even informing me... he his claiming some of house rents and lavishing it on frivolities anyhow.

Yes he's my father, he trained me up to this stage that I am, but by right I thought Those properties are mine already.since it's inheritance that's supposed to be passed down to her offsprings.....if am wrong please someone should tell me.

Why do you bring this case before nairaland Internet Judge Judy’s at the 11th hour ?

It will also be helpful if you would offer some solutions you deem fit or appropriate so we can bang heads together.

Obviously this is not the whole story.
Did she have a will ?

There are 2/3solutions I see here
1. You get a lawyer and find out legally what you are entitled to.

2. You sit down with the old man and map out what you will give him from your mum inheritance. A house or 2 with recurring revenue. With a legally binding document which states that he agrees to it.

3. You get money to pay him off and keep the houses from falling into a 3rd persons hands. With a legally abiding document that the properties belong to you.

bomb24:
https://www.vanguardngr.com/2022/04/man-bathes-wife-with-hot-water-in-ondo-2/

So you had an argument with your husband.
He tells you he is coming ...
Goes to the kitchen
Puts a pot on fire.
Pours water in it.
Waits till it boils after 10mins.
You see him with the boiling water

Woman what the heck where you still waiting for ?

qekng40:

Wow �. You look amazing

No. No you are not. You’ll never find a lady under 40 looking outward it’s when they are desperate that they begin to look outward and would go with anyone who would love them.

Kobojunkie:
1. Jesus Christ told you that the moment you become born-again, you enter into the Kingdom of God - John 3 vs 1 - 8 - this while you are still here in this world. So, are you somehow insinuating that you are under no obligations to obey Jesus Christ while you are here on earth or something?

And what early bodies do you speak of? Do you somehow need another kind of body before you can be expected to obey Jesus Christ's commandments to you?

2. Your marriages are bound according to whose law? God's or the world's laws?

3. Sin abounds but grace much more? What does that even mean? Are you insinuating that sin and grace are in some sort of competition??

What I am insinuating is that when you become born gain . Your spirit is alive - reborn . Your spirit is the real you . We live in an early flesh ( body) and possess a soul . We now have to present our bodies as a living sacrifice etc etc in Romans 12. We are still on earth and subject to gravity and laws of this physical earth. Yes,’we obey Jesus Christ and in which he laid down his life to his bride the church .
There is no marriage in heaven but here on earth … As Jesus is the head of the church ( his bride) and the bridegroom so is man the ordained head/leader of his marriage.

ALOCORA:
Nairalanders, please i need your candid opinion on this issue. Would you as a christian allow your wife of 17years practice islam which she claimed to be her new faith in your home as against your wish. Even bringing Alfas /Clerics to come and appeal to you.

I’ll tell you a personal story.
My cousin a Christian married his Muslim wife. It was an issue with his dad as he did not see a way the couple could unite and survive conflicts in the marriage.
It was such an issue that he said they would get married over his dead body. The wife’s family came over and tried to appeal to him. He put his foot down and said nope.
They got married and the dad didn’t attend.
He became a pastor and the wife maintained her Islam faith. They would celebrate both holidays - Christmas , Easter , Ramadan , Big and Small ileya. They have kids - they all have both Christian and Muslim names.
The wife after 17 years of seeing her husband minister and show his faith up close decided that she seen enough and converted to Christianity. Her family are still Muslim but some have converted also due to the power on display through prayer and acts of faith.

Side Note - I see a lot of caucasians move from Christianity to Islam ( mostly those that do are from Catholic backgrounds and out of curiosity ) and most blacks that do are usually those that had a stint in prison and they see Christianity as the white mans religion.
Your case is the first I’ve heard someone who was a practicing Christian convert to Islam.

So to your question - my advice would be that they keep the Alfas and Pastors outside of the home or when one party is not home. Except if they have come to visit ( party etc) but all religiosity should be conducted at the various places of worship. It’s not an ideal situation but hey, crap happens !!!

Kobojunkie:
According to whom? Jesus Christ who instead said your marriages are of this world and not of the Kingdom of God - Luke 20 vs 34 - 36 ?

Dude we are still in this world, In early bodies. So until we are in heaven in his kingdom . Marriages abound. Sin abounds but grace abounds much more.

Life imprisonment!
Rapist get life … falsely accusing someone of rape should also get the same treatment.

manduwem:
I think the guy grew up in the western world. But he should have researched on what's obtainable here...
In 9ja for example, we would launch into a preaching about ourselves, family lives, friends, childhood etc in the hope of impressing the interviewer when in truth bulk of those things are just in the CV he or she is holding across us

Nope ! Disagree . I know a ton of people who grew up in western world and nobody in his right mind responds to an answer that way. He may be qualified but attitude counts , your intangibles counts, culture counts. It’s was an opportunity to sell himself to the dude and he failed .

Semaj77:
I'm actually shocked at the responses I'm seeing on the first page , I would be surprised if the interviewer didn't ask this particular question. Anyone can write whatever in a CV , moreso not everything you've achieved in your professional career can be put in your CV , as a rule most interviewers need you to expatiate on what is in your CV

EXACTLY MATE !!! Sorry for shouting but you’re dead right.

MadamVanessa:




He was absolutely correct. What is the essence of the CV? Why asked stupid question again when you've already asked of his CV which he submitted prior the interview day. I thought she might have went through the guy's cv before the invitation for the interview was sent to him.

But the guy na werey o It seems he wasn't interested at all in the job or the story is fake.

I wholeheartedly disagree.
A CV is just a piece of paper which may/ not contain the real experience of the job applicant.
The role of the interviewer is to find out if the person whom he’s read on paper is the same person infront of him/her. I have never in my life heard such an answer from a candidate. It just shows he’s over confident and perhaps didn’t want the job.
The CV gets you in the door - your attitude and answers gets you in the position.

pyyxxaro:
AY should be given the opportunity to Coach Nigeria during the next African Nations Cup tournament




Let's see what he has to offer



Everybody don turn coach now


Baga Lizard

Exactly ! Couch Coach - Where r ur credentials ? Just go and do what you do best and let the guy do what he does best ! If you r disparaging the coach how about the technical director or the people who employed the guy.

Kajaard:
It's idiots like this fool that give men a bad name.

Now Saphiere and Futureisfemale will jump on this and blame all men.

lol - when my algorithm sent this my way. I said surely " this is the handiwork of Black Sapphire " ! boy was I wrong !

emmanuelbrown26:
boy friend and girlfriend beeating started more in earlier 2000s, it wasn't like this 1990s

Nope - It was so much earlier. Again, depending on how old you are between 40-60 yrs this was rampant back then but no one got involved . I remember 5 stories and 2 i personally witnessed in Abule-Egba near the GAF school ( Segun Akinola Street ) . The house is located between Segun Akinola and Onitiri Road/Street. The woman would scream - You go kill me today o. Shout and scream - everybody would mind their own business. Next week she has a black eye yet they walk hand in hand " romantically " along the road together. As a lad , i was confused.

The other incident - my dad was called to get involved so i tagged along - The lady had a busted lip , twisted the white shirt of the dude into a knot, wrapper loose with top torn and breasts just showing. I was so shocked at her state that the "free show" was more like horror.

Bros - nothing is new under the son - Social Media has just made it known to all what was hidden in secret.

Taking it up a notch - Police Brutality, has always been reported by rappers in songs even Fela - no one believed now that you can record with a mobile phone and post, you now see first hand reports .

emmanuelbrown26:
I read everything, from d beginning till d end but u didn't ask questions why DV is so so rampant this generation?
U see, ever since daughters of eve open eyes, na so wahala cum enter for family.
Since daughters of eve wan their simps husband to be pampering them and simps husband no cum get strength to pamper, na so wahala enter.
Infact daughters of eve all deserves to be in their fathers houses

It is not that DV is rampart in this generation. It’s actually lesser. Back then it started from bf beating up on gf which they carried into their marriage.
The difference is that with social media we are hearing more of it than before - just in the newspaper when it ended in death.

kenzysmith:
Disvirgin in a brothel tried my best to stop for the past 11yrs I have been a sex slave to brothels women fast pray but is like there is a demon controlling me to always go there 33yrs no job, no wife, no ambition, looking wretched.

A graudate of UNIBEN with 2.1. Still on menial job.

Parents wealthy and Ist son, dad has techinically disown me. My younger brothers don't even respect me even though i am older than them with almost 10yrs.

My childhood friends start avoiding me only my mum regard me as a human being Please pray for me .

First and foremost - You are not alone - Many of us walking and smiling are dealing with various vices.
My fear is when you start to talk about depression and suicide means you have/are giving up hope.
This topic has been addressed before if you search the forum you should find some stuff.

Now a couple of tips
1. It is going to be tough - It is going to be tough - You're the little flag in the middle of a tug of war. Both competing for your soul. You're being swayed left and right. none wants to give you up without a fight.
2. Get the book - " everyman's battle and read " Arterburn & stoecker " It reaffirms - You are not alone.
3. You need a major shift in what you allow to enter your body. - No Sexual Cruel jokes or talks, You can't watch any Adult themed movies ( remember when our parents would close our eyes when they felt something of a sexual nature was about to happen on TV ? )
No night parties.
--- You need to rebuild your mind to know what is good and what is bad.
4. You need to block porn sites from your phone and computers - Have a friend set a password.
5. You need to have an accountable partner - Someone to whom you can talk to and not feel ashamed. Someone you can call and say - I am feeling like visiting the brothel and you can come and stay with you or talk to you on the phone. 100% a male.
6. Stress is a huge factor - So do Not engage in anything that will make you stress out and want to " lash out " you used to lash out with porn but you graduated to brothel. Reduce your stress pressure points.
7. Find your pressure points - Sit down and and analyze what leads you to feel drawn to go there - and postulate counter measures
8. Pattern - Work - Home - Activity ( Find something you like to do - play video games, play soccer, join a bible study - you want to be busy that you'd be tired to go. If you can move to a place for 30 days with no distractions, it will help stem the tide.
9. Believe in a higher being ( power) - Praying & Fasting is huge but the pastor is not a therapist to analyze what the Issue is. What is going on in your body is like Opium , a drug - You are fine some days and gbam ! you are down the rabbit whole again.
10. You might not come out of this fully whole - ( this will take a miracle ) but you will be functional enough that it does not control you. So from 3 times a week, it will wain to once every 3 months. Then you can hopefully find some peace get married and have sex within the confirms of your home with someone you love.
11. It takes commitment - THERE IS NO SILVER BULLET. Daddy GO could pray over you but if you don't reset your life - you will return back to it and it will be worse than when you started off.

Forgive your family. It's hard on them seeing their loved one going through this. Most importantly, they do not know what to do or how to help. They think - Just snap out of it !
Good Luck and don't give up

truthsayer009:
1. First of all, what gave you the impression that the person arguing with you is trying to change their thought process?
2. Is the Bible not clear enough on those issues?
3. What exactly are you re-learning that you don't already know?

Every thing they are arguing on this thread is written clearly in ABC in the bible. No need for someone to interprete for anybody.

This is a no-brainer, It's like arguing about the 10 commandments and saying you want to re-learn? Are you a machine learning model? What is the purpose of re-learning something that was written in a clear form.

There is hierarchy any where you are, It was clearly stated. Whether in heaven or earth, any one you want. She can disagree and say, this is not how I want to run my life or my home. I don't need a head or hierarchy over my house, I want to run my life simply the way I want to run it and nobody will beat the her.

I agree on all points.
I just don't like to assume I know it all or follow the general understanding blindly. So when this fellow counters with his view, I need to step back and make sure that I am not missing anything and once sure , I can move on.