₦airaland Forum

CsRockefeller:
Men!! You have just casted serious doubts in my mind on the young lady so much that I feel like having a discussion with her tomorrow.

By the way, I'm not ynashing anyone. Maybe, I will just cease fire for now.

Can't afford to make a mistake, I mean, I should be married by next year.

She will promise heaven and earth she wont misbehave. Las las she go misbehave. There is 99% chance she will.

Okay, even if the 1% chance allows her not to misbehave, she still isnt ideal for you. She is freaking 20 year old. She will spend 4 years in school, serve for one year and wait like one more year to find a job bla bla bla. She wont be ready for marriage in like 5 years. Do you think your distant relationship of 5 years with her will stand the test of time?

Victorex001:
I understand this....my girlfriend currently is a Pastor’s daughter we both love each other but I keep letting her know her religion is scam....she treats it as secondary.
The main ish is that we love each other and understand and respect boundaries.
We also have disagreements about white wedding, I intend to do only a court wedding and traditional marriage not interest in a White man’s traditional marriage.

Though she dreams of changing me one day. Lmao.

I dont even mind doing a white wedding if it makes my woman happy.

You can just allow her the white wedding if it makes her happy. It doesnt make you tied to their religion. Sometimes you just have to compromise when you love someone

CsRockefeller:
Everyone keeps on saying this but I'm yet to see her manifest any sign.

The older one has this fantasy life she craves for away from reality and is way too experienced in dating even more than me.

Guess I have to leave it to VAR to decide.

I will tell you something from personal experience.

The 20 year old will never show a sign. She will play her game so perfectly that you will never suspect anything. Afterall you are not in school with her.

Mine was 20 too and didn't suspect anything until I projected her WhatsApp onto my computer via WhatsApp web. What I saw, my mouth cannot say it.

Your twnety year old shinny, beautiful young lass with standing breasts and fresh skin wants to be free, she wants to explore and enjoy life, the university life, the school life, the young girl life. While exploring, she will be fvcked and misbehave. It is normal, dont blame her.

If the 26 year old is living a life far away from reality at her age then she is immature and not fit for marriage. Life should be approached with logic. You must NEVER live in the fantasy world. This will make her frustrate your life.

My verdict: Dont marry any of them. You can continue to yansh them till things fade off if you find it difficult to let go abruptly.

CsRockefeller:
I said 27 and seems the stars are already aligning for me, if it doesn't happen next year, then definitely 2021 when I'm 28.



Quick question guys.

Between a lady within the ages of 24 to 26 not employed and a young girl of 20 in school, which is best suited for a guy of 27 to plan his life with?

Let's assume the factors of character and love is positive.

If their character and degree of love for you is equal, then go for the 24-26 years old lady providing she has a skill or anything that can get her an income later. The 20 year old lady will give you heart attack

Judybash93:
I don't live in the country at the moment but i used to live in Ile Ife

Oh, would have loved us to meet.

Judybash93:
Hey bro!!! It's nice to meet you here, I'm a deist too

Nice to meet you my bro.

Which part of the country do you live?

ednut1:
are u married now

Nope bro. Still searching.

Oh.

Now 32, will be 33 in few months.

The only thing holding me: No woman to marry.

Every woman who is close to what I want is marred by her religious beliefs. Once I tell them I am non religious or a deist, they zoom off.

Do we have free thinking ladies in this part of the world?

EFULEFU1:
My elder brother is getting married in February, but the problem is The woman he intends marrying has no nipppples. This woman claims that, when she was in the university, a security man rapedd her and chewed off her both nippples, which I don't believe.

When I dated her, I noticed that same problem and we broke up, even though we still meet at hotel once in a while. I have warned my brother but he insists on marrying her

Is this juju?

You are a mad man

Canada2021:
Hello Nairalanders,
I have been dating a lady for a while now. we have had our good and bad moments together, this is the situation on ground. i just completed my NYSC in August this year and got a well paying job this month.My girlfriend is yet to serve, so in order for her not to be idle at home i was able to get a job for her around september with a salary of 50k (Note: i didnt take the offer then because i was preparing for my professional exams).

During the period while i was jobless, there was a time i was really broke, she told me she had no money only for me to find out a few weeks later that during that period she had 15k, i was really mad at her but decided to forgive her.

For the past 3 weeks she has been staying with me temporarily because she has accommodation issues. Even though i have not been paid, i have made sure she is comfortable. She was away from work for about two weeks last month, so she told me she was paid half salary because of it. i believed that. even with the half salary she was still using the money to buy clothes and other personal effects without even showing any form of appreciation through her conduct (like buying something for me also while shopping) for the assistance i have rendered so far.

We normally go back home together because our offices are close to each other. yesterday while we were going home, she discovered her phone had been stolen in computer village. prior to yesterday, she made me believe she was totally broke. i have been paying for our transport fare ever since.

This morning she said her mum sent her 2k and she wanted to withdraw the money. when we got to the ATM she shouted that her 18k had been withdrawn from her account. i was shocked because this is someone that told me she was totally broke. when i interrogated her further she said she was paid her full salary last month and not half as she earlier told me. i am so mad at her right now.

what will you do if you find yourself in my shoes plz

She is using you bro. She is a cronic liar and will zoom off to meet a better guy when the opportunity arises. Do not believe she will change. She is selfish and does not care about you at all. This type of woman will be the cause of your death if you marry her.

Beosten:
Have the spiritual eyes and marry someone at par with your destiny.

If I tell you this, you may see it as fiction: exact house where my wife lived and her office's exact location were revealed to me in a dream.

But I didn't go to these locations in search of her. We met somewhere else. It was when I visited her for the first time that I declared myself a seer par excellence. Then, I was to pick her up at her place of work later. I became dumbfounded upon getting to the place.

It was De Ja Vu you experienced bro. Stop deceiving yourself

healthserve:
What is marriage becoming thesedays. Every day another sad marriage tale. We need to start looking at the bigger picture if a marriage doesn't work. It's how it is. What's the point staying under the same roof with someone we don't love. A marriage where all the loving and respect has flown out the window will also produce issues like this one. But then, there's always two sides to every tale and many times the tale bearer presents the side of the story that absolves them of any kind of wrong doing

Dont be deceived bro, there are sizeable number of good marriages in the world but the bad ones get the publicity. If the marriage is good, there wont be a reason to open a thread here. Only bad marriages are front page worthy on popular blogs and forums.

SmellingAnus:
Even your woman no be better person .... See how she manipulate you with the following statement... " on the other hand my girl was supportive but kick against DNA claiming if it is done and they are not mine my feelings for the kids will change"...


It will take a genius to know that the above statement was a high level manipulation... A simple DNA would have saved you lots of stress but your woman was scared that if it comes out that you are their father, you will give your kids more attention than her and her potential kids for you... My brother, you are just in the midst of two manipulative women... I pity for you ...

Walai talai baba you get brain.

I was reading the long, boring story with so much disdain. How foolish can some men be

lessonsoflife:
Just speaking from experience and what I have observed.
In most working environment women who are married are the easier to get laid.
They feel that is the only environment they can have sex without their husband suspecting after all, she is going to work.
Before you were laid, you have already made that decision long time ago.
You used the excuse of misunderstanding to hit the man.
Most women believe they are smart but then they are not.
I am sure if your colleague wasn't married, you would have dumbed your man. But u know what, after sex nothing is left again. Many women cry at midnight for this same act you have done.
Thank you God for blessing your children with good wives.

You get sense.

shogsman:
Mumu I'm from Ogun state,and AJ is a British boxer not Nigerian, he was born in the UK and became successful there.he doesn't have any official affiliation with Nigeria,y'all put too much importance on a name.

Do you see anything Nigerian in his up there. So shut up and stop famzing, y'all should stop forcing the guy to associate with this country,he doesn't owe y'all nothing.

Joshua actually lived and schooled in Nigeria before relocating to the UK

Below is proof with photo of his alma mata

Thats my boy

Hardebayo:
This site will hack your device, don't click on it.

Nope it wont. Been watching live boxing matches on it since forever

Sure link to watch the match live:

http://www.hesgoal.com/news/56936/Bowing_-_Andy_Ruiz_Jr_vs_Anthony_Joshua.html

davodyguy:
Nice analysis, but I'm still scared.

The match is live on two channels in my house, but would be watching Barca and return online by 11:00pm

Which decoder?

Make I come join you for your house if I dey lucky enough to live around you.

Dstv posted on their Facebook page earlier confirming that they were not able to acquire the rights to broadcast the highly anticipated heavyweight bout.

If anyone has a link or sport app where we can watch, please share.

If you know any viewing center in your neighborhood that will air it, please mention your area and how we can locate it.

Drogba is such a fine presenter

nototribalist:
Na dem I love seeing those freshly made boooty.

Abeg guys is there chance that DSTV will show the boxing match? Im sick of watching DSTV showing me south african leagues that no one give a fck about here.

Yes, only on SuperSport 1. Supersport 1 is on the highest DSTV bouquet and you will have to pay 15k for subscription.

Playstation1:
lemme drop a plan for the way forward for those of us still young and not yet ready for women wahala...
1: Hustle
2: Continue hustling
3: Keep hustling, and by this stage u must have done well financially, and can provide and flex urself. then
4: ENROLL FOR THE BABY MAMA PROGRAM
5: Continue hustling and balling why doing stipends for baby mama and child
5: By now u must have grown financially okay and well doing. then
6: BOOM- ANOTHER BABY MAMA ENROLLED, LOADED AND DELIVERED
7: Keeping the hustling spirit and been a boss and a baller at the same time, u must have acheived alot like:
Owned a car
Completed ur house
Explored all varieties of pu**y
8: Been a boss, continue pu**y exploration while developing urself
9: Another baby mama must now be Enrolled and delivered
10: Saved enough $$$,
11: Now in the later stage of life mid to late 60's get urself a good old evening newspaper to co-habit with and take care of eachother for there is noting more to explore in life again.
#happy life no girl nagging

You and everyone who liked your comment is completely mad.

IneedOT:
Going to pass night at her ex house with the excuse that he is doing math Tutorial for her, she will be swearing with the name of God that they aren't having sex , I believed her cus I was in love and I don't want to loose her, she later told me she is no more communicating with that guy and swearing in the name of Jesus, only for me to spy her WhatsApp and see that she went to pass night with him like 4 days back. That was when I realized she as been calling the name of God and Jesus in vain, I later dumped her and marry my ex , me too told her there is nothing going on between me and my ex till i post my wedding pictures on FB while me and her were still seeing, uncle math teacher is 40 , not married and using my so called ex to pass time.

There was a student I date sometimes back, really in love with her and used to give her money and foodstuff cus she is an orphan and I understand how tough life might be for her, well, I was given her what I can afford to loose, only for me to check her phone sms and read her bank alert , she has been sending money to a particular guy, the name of that guy tally with the name of a guy she used to communicate with in her call log, I asked her about it, she told me they are just friends, really? A female student sending money to a male friend she isn't in love with, he is not given you but you're the one given him, that was how I withdrew the help I was given to her financially, when I broke up with her that her friend came to beg on her behalf, she confessed to me that my girl is dating that guy but they have discussed it for her leave that guy and focus on me

And you didnt fvck the friend that came to confess?

trilobite:
Happened to a very good friend of mine:

One girl slept didn't wake up and was rushed to the hospital. The doctors ran tests, and did all they could (in their illiterate mind) before confirming her dead.

The mum however refused the hospital moving her daughter to the mortuary, insisting she was alive. Now when someone dies a final injection is given to the corpse before the body is moved. The mum fought tooth and nail against it's administration.

The family ordered one of their doctor sons in the USA to come back and run a final check on his sister. He took an immediate flight and arrived a few days later. Now note throughout all this the girl's body was covered on the hospital bed like a dead corpse.

Dude came in, didn't even need any fancy equipment, just checked her body and confirmed.....SHE WAS ALIVE!!!! He ordered specific tests, gave her some injections after which she regained conciousness.

The incident still scares me to this day. If not the family had him, the hospital would have killed their daughter. How many people who are in a worst financial situation have suffered a worst fate?

God help us.

So how is the girl doing now?

Nuno Espi what?

Arsenal is such a joke of a club

Your mates are signing Mourinho, you are signing Nunu rubbish when you can just quickly give Pochettinho a contract.

My younger brother is in exact state as you. I have tried everything known to man to help him but all to no avail.

Now I dont give a fvck what happens to him anymore. He can commit suicide if he wants.

Get yourself out of that addiction of yours. By all means get your life together.

Blessed are those who are not addicted to anything in life, for they shall be called the successful men of the earth.

Whatever rocks your boat

Guyman02:
Let me share a personal experience, when I was dating my wife, I didnt take time to observe that I was basically doing everything in the relationship and it was a one sided affair.
I was buying things for her because money was flowing and she was earning little from her work place. I deluded myself that she was stingy because she earned little and since I was making a lot of money outside my salary there was no issue, I was simply in love.
Then we got married and she got a better high paying job.
After sometime my company redeployed me to another unit where I was forced to depend solely on my salary, no more access to vendors and suppliers who tipped me regularly to facilitate procurement under my control.
We had our baby and the salary alone could no longer carry all our bills, the rent which I could afford to pay without touching my salary back in the day was now a burden.
I kept asking my wife for assistance and it was not forthcoming, it was then I started thinking backwards and realised that I didnt take note of her stinginess.
The pressure continued growing and frustration started setting in, I was calculating what her salary can do for us but she was not ready to assist, frustration due to mounting financial pressure started getting hold of me and in the process katakata burst.
She will even tell me that the bible says that any man who cannot feed his family is worse than an infidel.

We had fights and nothing has changed in her attitude, she spends her money however she likes including buying cars of her choice, trinkets, sending to her family etc while my own money in her eyes is for the Federal Republic. Whenever I send money to my own relations or people in need she gets angry and will remind me about outstanding school fees, gas, light etc so I have to resort to doing things for my own people without informing her.

I had to accept the situation and live grudgingly with it since I cannot divorce her but decided to hustle harder for the sake of the family including her.
At this point its no longer about love in marriage but survival, that her beauty and other 'traits' wey being dey shack me then is no longer the key element in the relationship after some years because there are several bills to settle.
Financial consideration is a very key point for any relationship to be successful and stinginess (which is tantamount to selfishness) causes crisis in marriages.
Guy I will not advise you but I am sharing my personal experience of several years in marriage to help you decide.

@user283, if after reading this man's testimony and you still go ahead to marry that girl, then you are a mad man.

OladimejiRufai:
Well, I have an advice for you my boy @OP

From this moment, stop looking for true love

I'm not implying that you cannot find it but stop looking for it.

Rather start looking for a lady who is psychologically wired to always do the right thing and has a very advanced understanding of life.

See, in most cases, love is transient.

Sometimes, people fall in love because they fell into a moment where they perceived something that touched their heart from the other person. And then moments later, they find out that the feelings are lost.

sometimes, people fall in love because there's constant communication or commitment between both persons and they are just lost in the fun of it and think they are in love. If something happens that distracts one of them from achieving the constant communication or commitment to the other person, they find that they lose the love gradually.

sometimes, people's love for another person is usually connected to some features of that person that fascinates them or blows them away.

"oh, the guy is funny." "the girl is intelligent" "the guy is charming" "the girl is georgous" e.t.c and they continue to fall in love so far these qualities are present. But what happens when they lose those qualities or those qualities gradually fade away? that's how the love will also be lost or will gradually fade away.

So in most cases, love is transient. This is proven by the many broken relationships where you hear from both sides that they have fallen out of love.

So if a person were to enter a marriage because of love, he or she is likely to be no more interested in the marriage eventually and may crave attention or love elsewhere and may want to break up the marriage.

That's the reason why I said you should look for someone with a larger and better understanding of life and who is psychologically wired to do the right thing.

this is because when it gets to the stage in a marriage where both spouses have fallen out of love, for people who do not fulfil the said criteria (no understanding of life or being wired to do the right thing), they would want to break up or would start seeking love elsewhere and they many end up cheating etc.

But for someone who fulfils that criteria;

- someone who understands that this life is not a bed of roses and it is not everything you want that you get;

- someone who understands that the purpose of marriage is not necessarily to love rather it is to show care, support each other, become responsible, help each other achieve desired goals and for mankind to multiply (procreation);

- someone who understands that there is time for everything and there are some certain pleasures that should not be sought at all stages of life or the pleasures should be limited at some point in time (imagine a 45 year old woman complaining that her husband doesn't take her out for shopping or so like he used to when she was still 25 when she should be more concerned about caring for the kids that she didn't have then but have now and focus on making them successful in life)

- someone who understands that this life itself is a place of trials and there'll always be sour times or times when you would have to forgo your heart desires for the right thing to be done;

- someone who understands that the pleasures of the hereafter are far greater than those of this life and is more concerned about that and because of that, he or she gives up some pleasures in this world just for the right thing to be done.

- someone who has values, who understands cheating is bad, who understands that it is an evil thing to extort or deceive a partner for personal gains, who knows how to control anger and doesn't expect perfection from the other partner, who understands that for a marriage to work, both sides must be committed to it, who understands that deceiving a partner and extorting him should not be the measure by which you "make it in life", and who is psychologically wired to follow all those values;

So for someone who has a better understanding of life and is wired to do the right thing, such are the people who stay in a marriage when there's no more "love" or when they have fallen out of love and continue to try everything to make it work till the end.

So this is what you should be looking for, for "true love" Is scarce.

If eventually you are able to find true love in a partner that fulfils the above criteria, then consider it a plus, consider it a blessing and thank God for it.

My piece!

Finally, I have found the reincarnation of king Solomon of ancient Hebrews.

In all my years on Nairaland I have not come across a comment on love as apt and sensible as this one.

You should be worshipped, for you are a god of love.

She is most likely the daughter of a NIgerian Oil mogul