₦airaland Forum

YourCoffin:
Op I sell coffins Incase you decide to go back

You have the weirdest signature on Nairaland......And I like it

Umartins1:
Agnosticism. A part of me seems to be embracing religion

Please dont embrace it bro, please.

Do some Googling on Deism. Come join this belief system.

MhizJoyce:
So sad. Knowing that no vaccine will be available in at least 15 months from now, gives me a lot to worry about.
If you're not a forex or crypto speculator during this period, you might have yourself to blame. I foresee massive unemployment rate in months to come.

You talk as though trading Forex is a sure way to earn some money. Forex is a glorified betting and is one sure way to lose money very fast especially amidst tribulations when your mind is not settled.

Talk another thing bro. No bring Forex come here.

Wizywiz:
Caught her making love in to another guy right in the house i paid for her as a student....

After then she was the only student i ever dated till i got married....she was one experience i hate to remember...loved her so much then...was willing to groom her and marry her...funny part is that the whole area..street even her school knew we were dating..the mum tried to reconcile us but hey aint forgiving any cheating slurt

Exact same sh1t happened to me bro. 100% same.

Lolz

24kmagic:
I visited my sister recently and where she lives, there's this couple. The husband of that lady is the most useless husband alive. From sunrise to sun set, he'll be inside the room with this heat lying down like a log of wood. The wife will be the one to go out and hustle. This woman takes every rubbish this man throws at her and none of her siblings is aware. She praises him among her siblings and they respect him. But the man is an asshole. The only thing is that he's not violent. He's just useless. When I inquired about this lady to understand why she's enduring all these, I got to understand that she's from a troubled family. Her parents kept breeding children without plans for them. The father gave birth to ten children although two died. They didn't have the best of lives growing up. Their family house is nothing to right home about. In fact, the sisters are also hoping to get married in order to leave that house. This lady can't go back to face the troubles her sisters are trying to run away from. In fact, they are looking up to her. This is just one example out of many in this part of the country. There are so many of such troubled families across 9ja.

Marrying a girl from that family will be of great advantage to you I swear. The reason is because she'll do everything possible to remain married in order not to end up like her siblings. She'll endure every rubbish you throw at her because if she remembers that her father's house is not any better, she'll mellow. She'll want to be the only difference among the girls in the family.

OP, if the present one is a good girl, marry her. She'll make sure your children dont end up like her siblings.

There are some families you marry from and you can't tell the girl rubbish cos you know where you took her from. Whereas there are other families where you'll insult your father-in-law and your wife will still be the one to beg you just to stay in your house.

Fact that the man lies down from morning till night doesnt make him useless. He might really be trying his best to put his life together and he doesnt have to go around blowing trumpets of what he has done. And like you said, he is not violent, seems like a nice guy.

Tripitaka:
Have you dated a girl who is a product of incest?
Have you dated a girl whose brother raped the mother for ritual purposes?
Have you dated a girl who grew up to find out that her actual dad is the family driver, but the pregnancy was passed on to the "willing dad"?
Have you dated a girl whose own father has been sexually abusing?
Have you dated a girl whose mother's nude pictures are all over the internet because she was caught shoplifting?

I believe your answer would be "No", as you would have included these in your narrative.

The families in your narrative can hardly be classed as "troubled" as I would like to think that your experiences are the peculiarities of your average Nigerian family. The average Nigerian family where diabolism and fetishism is real; where cohabitation is in vogue because the government outlaws abortion and your parents would insist on you living with the man who impregnated you even if he has no interest in marrying you; where young widows are still oppressed by their late husband's relatives; where poverty and unemployment is the norm hence a 40yr old unemployed man is nothing out of the ordinary.

The women you have been with are not from troubled families, at least in my opinion. They are simply from Nigerian families.

You scanned through my mind and wrote out my thoughts.

You are very apt.

I love you bro. No homo, but I really do.

kalvoken:
Op nice work but you are not totally right.

Snake inside toilet System is as a result of broken chamber, pipes or not well covered soak away. If you have a soak away with a good air inlet, no snake can gain access into it not to talk of locating the pipe that leads to your house.

Also some people are fond of not covering their slabs as it was formerly after repair work. This can lead to snakes or other things turning the slab to their home and sometimes paying you a visit inside the house. So after the plumber had done his repairs, make sure he cement the slabs well enough so you won't tell stories that touch the heart.

Also, when running your waste pipe, try and get a thick pipe because rats can easily make hole on a light pipe thereby creating avenue for other creatures to make use of it.

As per the floor drainage filter.that you suggested to be covered with a piece of tiles, if you have done all the aforementioned, I don't think their is need for that. Just avoid removing the filter cover on the drainage system. Many people remove it because they want the waste/bath water to move out faster. It is very dangerous, he that invented it did so for a reason. Remember to always cover your washing hand basins and sink with the rubber cover that comes with the drainage system.

My opinion though.

I am a plumber (Been off plumbing for a while now) and your analogy is 100% correct.

Focusmind:
My wife's libido is high. Before the lock down, my work do take me outside Lagos for weeks.

But this lock down, the woman is enjoying me bad! I am to give it to her the way she wants it.

It has been good just that I have been dragging her to come so that I teach her certain things and get her ready for future job after the lock down. But she hasn't shown interest which sometimes get to my nerve.

I don't know if she is just ok with de small monthly allowance I give her.

Never force someone to learn what they are not interested in. Its like teaching a pig how to sing. You will be frustrated after frustrating the pig.

Sometimes what we know is so interesting to us that we feel everyone in the world should know it, but bro, we are different. Our interest can never be same. Stop quarreling over that. Leave her alone.

Brace up guys, no one is going to work anytime soon.

Sh1t is looking more scary. 86 new cases with 4 new deaths?

I have been reading on the internet how Nigerians claim the Lagos doctors are doing wonders and other countries need to come check the formular they are using. Sorry to burst your burbles, our recovery rate is just as good as that of every other country. In fact some countries like Italy, Germany, Netherlands etc have higher percentage of recovered patients. Check https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/ . We are not doing well at all.

That aside, with the cases going northward on daily bases, I for see lockdown for longer weeks ahead. We are in deepshit in Lagos. And if the govt decides to allow us go to work to save the economy and our stomach, we will still be in deep sh1t as more Corona casualties will immerge. Now there is a conundrum.

How does Emeka who sells Gala in traffic for daily gain of 500 Naira feed, Mukaila the mechanic cant fix cars anymore and his kids are going hungary, the okada men, the danfo drivers and conductors, the keke napep guy, the agbero, even the pick pocketers. How about the Computer village hustlers, the Alaba market hustlers, the Katangora sellers and alabaru at Mile 12. The list goes on and on. These are the common every day Lagosians who cant feed their families if they do not go out to hustle in a day. What do you think is their current state now?

Even the so called elites in fancy offices waiting for salary every month are not left out. Many companies will stop paying salaries, in fact some of them have stopped already. From next month some banks wont pay at all or pay half...

Now this is where Anarchy comes. People will disregard law and order and go all out to work, since it is better to work and eat and die of coronavirus than sit down to watch hunger kill your household. Oh, I have not talked about the armed robbers. All these boys doing vigilante every night will soon turn to the real robbers themselves.

Now I know Nigerian govt will try to fight the Anarchy with Martial Law. Imagine a society riddled with Anarchy and Martial Law, just imagine. There will be chaos, our clime will become ungovernable, unlivable and in total disarray. Lagos State most especially will be worse. Everyone living anyhow and doing anyhow. Daylight robbery and gun bullets flying everywhere. Death toll from crime and Martial Law will surpass that of Covid 19 itself.

At this point, I will just jejely carry my load and travel to inside inside Osun State or somewhere far, withdraw enough cash and enjoy my life. You dont want to experience Anarchy in a city like Lagos....And mind you Anarchy can birth revolution, rebels springing up everywhere. Police and Soldiers go kill them go taya.

I knew Africa, especially Nigeria will be the last to see their worst cases and the time is nigh. Our best shot is the vaccine.

PS: If you have plans to make a lot of money this year, buy or build a house, buy a car, get married etc, cancel it. Its not happening.

PSS: Stop doing flesh to flesh with your woman. A woman getting pregnant at this perilous time is dangerous.

Brace up guys, no one is going to work anytime soon.

Sh1t is looking more scary. 86 new cases with 4 new deaths?

I have been reading on the internet how Nigerians claim the Lagos doctors are doing wonders and other countries need to come check the formular they are using. Sorry to burst your burbles, our recovery rate is just as good as that of every other country. In fact some countries like Italy, Germany, Netherlands etc have higher percentage of recovered patients. Check https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/ . We are not doing well at all.

That aside, with the cases going northward on daily bases, I for see lockdown for longer weeks ahead. We are in deepshit in Lagos. And if the govt decides to allow us go to work to save the economy and our stomach, we will still be in deep sh1t as more Corona casualties will immerge. Now there is a conundrum.

How does Emeka who sells Gala in traffic for daily gain of 500 Naira feed, Mukaila the mechanic cant fix cars anymore and his kids are going hungary, the okada men, the danfo drivers and conductors, the keke napep guy, the agbero, even the pick pocketers. How about the Computer village hustlers, the Alaba market hustlers, the Katangora sellers and alabaru at Mile 12. The list goes on and on. These are the common every day Lagosians who cant feed their families if they do not go out to hustle in a day. What do you think is their current state now?

Even the so called elites in fancy offices waiting for salary every month are not left out. Many companies will stop paying salaries, in fact some of them have stopped already. From next month some banks wont pay at all or pay half...

Now this is where Anarchy comes. People will disregard law and order and go all out to work, since it is better to work and eat and die of coronavirus than sit down to watch hunger kill your household. Oh, I have not talked about the armed robbers. All these boys doing vigilante every night will soon turn to the real robbers themselves.

Now I know Nigerian govt will try to fight the Anarchy with Martial Law. Imagine a society riddled with Anarchy and Martial Law, just imagine. There will be chaos, our clime will become ungovernable, unlivable and in total disarray. Lagos State most especially will be worse. Everyone living anyhow and doing anyhow. Daylight robbery and gun bullets flying everywhere. Death toll from crime and Martial Law will surpass that of Covid 19 itself.

At this point, I will just jejely carry my load and travel to inside inside Osun State or somewhere far, withdraw enough cash and enjoy my life. You dont want to experience Anarchy in a city like Lagos....And mind you Anarchy can birth revolution, rebels springing up everywhere. Police and Soldiers go kill them go taya.

I knew Africa, especially Nigeria will be the last to see their worst cases and the time is nigh. Our best shot is the vaccine.

PS: If you have plans to make a lot of money this year, buy or build a house, buy a car, get married etc, cancel it. Its not happening.

PSS: Stop doing flesh to flesh with your woman. A woman getting pregnant at this perilous time is dangerous.

Hisincrease:
Words are truly powerful but stop this feminine emotional blackmail.

How about all the lies women tell men?

How about verbal disappointment men receive from women?

How about daily verbal insults men receive from women?

How wish Op advised women to be careful with what they say to men.

In my awkward opinion: build a good woman with the right words and destroy a bad woman with the bad words.

After all, what is good for Greece is good for Uganda.

#stay safe.

You and a few others are the only ones with functioning brains on Nairaland.

The court ruled that the violators should be quarantined for 14 days at the Infectious Diseases Hospital Yaba or any other place designated by the government.

Na this one sweet me pass

Lamanii22:
Hmmmm... This is confusing... Go and pray about it first...

Go and pray about it

Thats the only solution an average Nigerian babe can come up with. Dumb morrafurkers.

Na Syphilis and Ghonorreah dey worry you together bro. You be confirm skin to skin apako master.

Anyway, the solution to your problem is doxycyclin. Use 100mg twice daily, before you finish one sachet you go dey alright.

Doxycyclin, saving the lives of skin to skin apako masters since 1998.

Dont mind anyone saying you should not follow my advise and you need a doctor to prescribe you a drug. Doxycyclin will do you no harm at all if you have not been on any antibiotics in at least 2 months.

Go and sin no more.

Just as we all know that the coronavirus epidemic is getting virtually everyone locked down at home, our cars/vehicles are also not exempted since we won't be using them.

To avoid stories that would touch the heart whenever the lockdown is over and we want to make use of our cars/vehicles, it is necessary we carry out some things on them and some of them are listed
below;

1. Endeavour to always start the engine of your car/vehicle and let it run for few minutes say every 3 days to avoid problem with getting it to start later on.

2. Endeavour to always move your car/vehicle at least slightly forward and backward if you are unable to move it for short distance to avoid flat spots on its tyres.

3. Park your car/vehicle in a garage, under a car spot or better still, make sure of cover.

4. Try not to engage the handbrake of your car/vehicle.

5. Park your car/vehicle in a safe place and if you are the type that have no option than leaving on
your street, please make use of pedal and other security means to prevent your car/vehicle from being stolen or burgled.

That is all for now; feel free to add yours.

MASTERCHIEF0847:
Mumu so they should wait till the pandemic gets there before they start preparing?
Your parents should have been sterilized so as not to produce an utterly stupid child like you.

Weyrey leleyi o.

If you cannot comprehend the simple thing I have explained, then Your foolishness and stupidity know no bounds.

Goodnigga:
stop spreading fear.

They are the ones building and spreading fear by creating beds for yet-to-be-sick people

Does this mean Dangote has foreseen the virus spreading all over Kano?

Kano does not have a single case yet and they are already building 600 bed space. Yesterday it was 240 bed isolation center in Anambra yet they have no confirmed case. Lagos is building multiple centres and begging American companies on Twitter for ventilators.

Is there something our leaders know that we dont know?

Is it that they are convinced within them that we will have countless thousands of cases in the country no matter how much we stay indoors?

We need to prepare for something big then. We are in it for big sh1t.

wonder233:
My take: it is futile expending valuable resources and energy trying to prevent it's spread. The only way this can go away is when a cure is found and/or a vaccine developed.
The sheer ease of transmission and infection makes mockery of all these "quarantine", "isolation", "social distancing" and other terminologies brandished by authorities as a way of demonstrating they are doing something.
How long will national economies and the general world economy sustain a lock down? 2weeks?, 1month? 3months?
Like malaria and HIV, corona is something we all have to come to terms with as another disease that has come to stay. All these initial gra gra of locking down will soon fizzle out.

So we should all go out like nothing is happening and have a world of sick people with several millions dead.

You really have sense o.

fieryy:
All these guys saying they don't like it blablabla... Who asked you? I love love waist beads. In fact I ordered my first yesterday and patiently waiting for its arrival.

Aunty, me I like it o.

If you want me to get high, just flash me your waist beads.

Twenty-three new cases of #COVID19 have been reported in Nigeria; 9 in Lagos, 7 in the FCT, 5 in Akwa Ibom, 1 in Kaduna and 1 in Bauchi State

As at 08:00 pm 1st April there are 174 confirmed cases of #COVID19 reported in Nigeria. Nine have been discharged with two deaths

This brings the total number of cases discovered today to 35, the highest so far in a single day.

https:///Wy9MzX1lsr

Seeing him looking healthy broke my heart

It was so painful seeing him looking healthy

Can we tell these Nigerian policemen that food is essential and its not covered by lockdown? People will need to buy food to survive the lockdown and to buy food, there must be food sellers.

Source: https://www.facebook.com/196454254404524/posts/477690626280884/

Acidosis:
That's a stup!d post. Better for the 72 to test positive and remain at home than test positive and then go all out to work, school, etc. to infect 7200 in a BRT, building construction sites and public schools of 3000 pupils.

Sit at home or not, they will continue to share 1 bathroom and toilet for being unfortunate.

You dey mad

Nigeria has recorded 11 new cases of coronavirus, bringing the total number of confirmed cases in the country to 81.

The Nigeria Disease Control Centre made this known late on Friday.

It said eight new cases were recorded in Lagos State, two in Enugu and one in Edo.

https://punchng.com/breaking-nigeria-coronavirus-cases-hit-81-as-ncdc-announces-11-new-cases/

Nigeria has recorded five new cases of coronavirus in the Federal Capital Territory and Oyo State.

The Nigeria Centre for Disease Control made this known on Friday evening via its Twitter handle.

NCDC tweeted, “Five new cases of #COVID19 have been reported in Nigeria: Three in FCT and two in Oyo State

“As of 08:00 pm, 27th of March, there are 70 cases of confirmed #COVID19 reported Nigeria.

https://punchng.com/breaking-nigeria-coronavirus-cases-rise-from-65-to-70-in-24-hours/

We are doomed

14 new cases of Covid-19 in Nigeria ��

12 in Lagos, 2 in Abuja

#Covid19Nigeria

https://www.vanguardngr.com/2020/03/breaking-ncdc-confirms-14-new-coronavirus-cases/

CC: lalasticlala

No source?

Chatflick:
You do min it

I mean it bro