₦airaland Forum

oldienavie:
This is exactly how 90% of girls are, dear lord please don't let me be a victim of these type of ladies.
Please give me a woman, who values herself and understand the meaning of self worth.
Amen.

@op, your problem is that you dont have anything meaningful pursuing in your life, just like many Nigerian youths, it is difficult to have self worth when you have nothing to give than spread your legs.

My advise, use the energy you are using to be sleeping around and pursuing men to develop yourself, learn a skill, IT, sewing, when you are busy and have something in that your coconut head, a decent man will find you.

Baba arugbo.


It looks like your old age did not add wisdom for you,




Or maybe you're bored and looking for women to turn into your toothpick on this forum.



Go and look for other things to vent your frustrations on and leave young girls to live their lives in peace.





May you find healing.

Hamachi:
My cousin who got married last year July is actually thinking of leaving the marriage because the husband was diagnosed of kidney failure and needs a transplant. The summary of the story is that the family of the man is expecting the newly married wife to donate one of her kidney to the man because my cousin is biological match to the husband, she and her family has said LAI LIA O, that his their child and they should find a way to go about it. After dragging this issues for some months, my cousin family are pushing her to file for a divorce

A. Would it be considered wickedness on her part considering, his not only the husband but PARTLY trained her in school too?

B. The marriage is less than a year no much money to even look for a seller, Aunty want to japa and leave the man

What do you think?

So, no one is aware that this topic was recycled

Hardeytutu94:
I need a female roommate in a room self contained at Ajuwon. Kitchen utensils and bed available. 100k, subsequent rent is 65k.

please pm

SocialJustice:
Sharpen up, banks can give you funds.

Which bank please, and how?

Acidosis:
Okay. So at what point or on what basis is vasectomy a thing to consider or talk about among single guys? Are you in any way implying that guys should get a vasectomy done so they can sleep around without getting trapped with pregnancy issues?

So far, the only guy that claimed he got one did so because he does not care for kids. Why then do you want me to talk to my friends about vasectomy?

I don't have any friend who does not care for kids (asides from Klass99 and she's female ) And I also don't think anyone, if given the chance to choose either the natural conception or technology-assisted reproduction, will choose the latter (all things being equal).

Hmmmm, now I see you've got enough time to rest well before giving this reply.



Men know what's best for men

Women know what's best for women


I said it before, and I will say it again, because I'm female, my first concern will be the well being and good opportunities for females.


Whatever is good for women, I'm all in.



But when it comes to men, I do not claim to understand the male perspective, neither do I claim to look out for men's benefits, even though I do that, but it's not my pressing concern, being a female.



Therefore, vasectomy and it's benefits, a procedure that will not be performed on me, or my spouse because I do not have a spouse as of present, is not my most pressing concern.




So, dear Acidosis, go through the information readily available to you and make whatever you want with it.


Have a productive day.

GloriaWisdom9:
They were both in the same university,the same level and the same class.
This guy happened to be in a relationship with someone else, but when he set his eyes on this other bae, he gave up the relationship and started dating this new girl.

Everything seems to be moving really fast they were already in final year in school, they seem to be in love with each other, she really wanted to be engaged in her final year, you know how it feels when you graduate with a husband and a certificate that was her goal.

Oh boy watsaap. ... this dude wasn't making any move towards engagement because he likes to do things on his terms, he felt he wasn't ready for that sort of commitment.

Months rolled by, and nothing happened except the usual hangout, chit chat, partying, so she got an idea to get pregnant for this dude which she did. Little did she know that that was her undoing because he was already making plans to leave the country which he did two months into her pregnancy to get his master's.

The baby has long been born he is not back and not even talking about anything of such.

What can she do.
Lovey Dovey.

By Gloria Wisdom Isheke

Did she ask you for advice?

GloriousGbola:
better. next time go and play pretend intellectual with someone else. you are prime evidence that dickery is not the sole preserve of the male gender

I am who I am.


I don't care, neither am I afraid of your tiny little taunts.


I am beyond description.

I transcend tiny little boxes.


I AM.

surebona:
Ok, our relationship was not that serious because I was still bringing up my ex into conversation so she found someone that was willing to marry her, she got married and few weeks later she chatted me up that her man is not capable of getting her pregnant due to complications and that she want me to please help out, that the man agreed to her getting satisfaction outside..

Me confuse o.
Abeg which kind wahala b this one and I no even know weten I wan cap dis bani like dis o.

Confirm from the husband

GloriousGbola:
hello smarty pants, i know exactly what a hysterectomy is. my mother had one when i was in uni, and my wife had one last year. i don't need need quasi feminists with giant chips on their shoulders womansplaining upandan - Rest in your exhaustion

please try to be polite next time, or i will be much more abusive in future. nonsense and womansplaining

You are free to express yourself in the darkest way possible.



It simply shows how dark your soul is, not mine.





By the way, I am not the cause of whatever is bugging you.

Acidosis:
Okay good. So, that means you don't care about kids?

Who said I don't care for kids?


I said a man's character is more important to me than his ability to father kids.



That means we will definitely have kids no matter his problem.



Fertility can be bought, but good character cannot be bought.

Teettyllayho:
Please I need advise from people with grown up kids.

Honestly, parenting is not easy. I don't even know what to do anymore.

My first son is 7 but he is kind of slow. However, he's above average in learning and he's learning at his pace. I understand all of this and I'm always happy to guide him.

But I don't know if I'm too hard or too soft on him because I use to talk to him a lot. I only beat him when he does something serious (like going against my rules, or not doing his homework when he should).

These days, whenever I scold him, he would give me a sad look and he might even shout saying: "I've heard you!" Then, he will be alone in a corner for some time.

Sometimes, I'd go close to him and tell him why I had to scold him and he'd say "I don't like it when you shout at me" I'd apologize and hug him (I don't even know if I'm spoiling him by apologizing). .

I don't know how to scold without putting a bit of action at least. Shey I'll be whispering and scolding ni? Sometimes, I'll leave him and pretend as if I didn't see him when he brings up such attitude.

Last week, he mistakenly brought back someone else's lunch box home because they look very much alike. I told him it's okay that it happens and I promised to write his name in bold when he brings back his box the next day to prevent such from happening again.

Could you believe that he came back with the other person's lunch box again? When I asked him, he said he didn't see his lunch box and the boy that took his own. Then I asked: Did you tell your class teacher? Are you sure you know the boy?

His reply: I didn't tell my teacher because I know the boy and I went to his class but he wasn't there.

So, I figured that he must have gone to check once and didn't bother to check again. And he didn't bother to also tell his class teacher.

So, I was very mad this time and told him not to bring someone else's property home again, no matter what!

I think he would have told his teacher if he really valued his property because he told me something that made me really mad the next morning.

"Mummy, or will you buy me another lunch box since we can't find mine?" Luckily for me, he was brushing his teeth then and I was bathing for his sister. The resounding slap I gave him on his back brought back his senses.

I don't know why he always want something new. He spoilt the lunch box I bought for him and his sister o and he's using another one now. That is, he wants me to buy a third one while his sister is still using the first one? How na?

I don't even know what to think. Why would he want a new box when he's barely used the new one?

Then, he's always talking about how his classmates use to bring different kinds of food ( he wasn't like this before o).

I try as much as possible to make different foods for him too, and he's stopped complaining.

We recently changed his school and his new school has quite a lot of pupils. I Don't know if that's affecting him.

Honestly, I'm bothered about the changes and I don't know how best to address it.

I've made him understand countless times that he should always be content with whatever he has and he shouldn't compare himself with anyone.

I just finished with another round of lecture now and he has tears in his eyes saying:

"Mummy, stop shouting at me. It makes me sad"

I was heartbroken and felt guilty seeing him like this and I did everything possible to make him see why I had to shout or scold.

Please how can I scold a child without shouting? Am I spoiling him? Can someone help with tips?
Honestly, I'm tired!

Let him live with his Dad and come join you at weekends.

GloriousGbola:
Interesting question. By implication can you marry or stay married to a person who has had a hysterectomy?

I take an engineering approach to it. Once you have children, your reproductive system has achieved its basic goal and can be depreciated.

Unless you plan to continue having other kids into your 40, 50s,60s and beyond.

Hysterectomy is not on the same level as vasectomy.


Please get it right.



Vasectomy is like tying a particular tube to prevent sperm from coming out during ejaculation. It can be reversed.


Hysterectomy is the removal of uterus etc. This one is irreversible.

The better one for women is tubal ligation. Meaning tying fallopian tube to prevent eggs from meeting sperm during ovulation.



Then please Google these things, it's exhausting to keep explaining things over and again to people who claim to be educated and have internet connection.

Acidosis:



Can you marry a guy who's had vasectomy?

A man's character comes first for me.


I don't care if he's impotent or has had vasectomy.



What's the use of a nasty handsome tall fertile man that will only bring me anxiety and stress.


Modified: I'm working on increasing my own net worth, so, my criteria for marriage is changing seriously.

tensazangetsu20:
It wasnt painful.

20 mins.

I didnt rest. I was able to go to the gym the next day.

No drugs.

Thanks.


Dear Acidosis, please help to spread the awareness to your friends.


Vasectomy is a good option, you can still have kids anytime you want, you can have satisfactory sex, you are free from girlfriend pregnancy drama.

Klass99:
I feel you, but Tensaz's choice doesn't bother me one bit.

It is his continuous reference to Nigeria and the African continent as a shit hole, I have issues with.

He says that a lot, it is synonymous with his moniker. If you see his post somewhere you can be sure you will see the phrase Nigeria is a shit hole

It doesn't really upset me, but I like this country regardless of its many issues. Some of the wonderful people I know personally I met in Naija.

Now I understand, but you see, not everyone will have the kind of faith you have in this country.

tensazangetsu20:
Bringing a child to this shithole continent is one of the greatest mistakes a human can make.

No kids

No partner

My parents have already zeroed their mind on me having kids. I already told them. I have always wanted a vasectomy since I was 18.

One more set of questions please.

How painful was the procedure?

How long did the procedure take?

How many days of rest did you have?

Did you have to take drugs subsequently?

This will help peeps like Acidosis to feel safer.

Klass99:
Lmao .

At the bolded, you really need to stop saying this.

At the rest of your story, your mama & papa, no bundle you go MFM for prayers and deliverance?

Please ehn, were you born and bred in Naija? Or did you and your folks relocate back to Naija from a foreign country?

Sis, this guy can still have kids anytime he wants, they'll just get the sperm directly from the testes and introduce into the uterus of the woman during ovulation rather than have him shoot it out, and that's if the reversion is not successful. The key word being "if"



He can still have perfect sex
He still has erections.


The benefit is that he no longer has to rely on any lady to protect him from becoming a daddy when he's not ready.

tensazangetsu20:
Bringing a child to this shithole continent is one of the greatest mistakes a human can make.

No kids

No partner

My parents have already zeroed their mind on me having kids. I already told them. I have always wanted a vasectomy since I was 18.

Well, as long as all you're not stringing any lady along, it's all good.


Because most women want kids in this country.



Besides, you can always have a baby anytime you want.


Really smart decision. Very smart.

tensazangetsu20:
That picture is wrong. My vasectomy at Marie Stopes cost 80k

I'm impressed that you could actually be the exception in this country. Very commendable.


Permit me to ask a few questions



What motivated your decision?


Do you already have kids?

I want to assume you at least have a long term partner, did your partner agree to it?


How do you plan to handle fallouts from loved ones who are privy to your decision?



Don't mind me, you're only one of very few men who are brave enough to get a vasectomy, hence the barrage of questions.

Like I implied earlier, I do not recommend for a man who has never had any kids to go for vasectomy.


Vasectomy is mostly reversible, but post reversion fertility in some rare cases is not guaranteed.



Let each gender clean up their house, men teach your fellow men to be reasonable, stop condoning bad actions.



Women, stop tearing your fellow women down, it's not pretty, it's ugly, stop being too quick to distance yourselves from your fellow women



Let's be better than our forebears, maybe, just maybe, we will leave this world a better place.

Acidosis:
It doesn't seem like a bad idea for a married man with 5 kids

Of course.




Remember you were the first one to bring it up

Magnoliaa:
Ion know what conversation it is you guys are having nor have the full range for it, or even the context... I'm addressing this your particular line. People use it a lot.

Quote me anywhere. It's WOKE People, I mean it, saying it all loud as it is, it's WOKE people that **usually** put in practice what they come online to preach.

That's the way you people believe we pound fufus for our boyfriends in real life. Like, why do you all assume people around us do not know who we are or what we stand for? Why do you think we shy away from or cut down on some of the things we believe in? There are many a relationships I've forfeited; others I'm willing to let go of because of my equality ideas. If I don't do some things because of my principles/religious beliefs, I can do same or even so much more for my support of women's rights. And this applies to other women of the same leanings, especially on this thread. I know they won't mind me speaking for them here.

I honestly think 'y'all' should cut us some slack. (I'm not saying you in particular). Compromises are necessary sometimes in a relationship, so even if a feminist falls short in some way, it's fine and realistic. When they do and bend, they're hypocrites who don't practice what they preach in their intimate spaces; when they don't and remain strong-headed, oh, they're being hard and unrealistic and will die lonely. No man will put up with such rigid standards... Best believe others are true to their ideals, the same way you are or you feel you are true to yours.

Shey one say, I'll be the kind of woman that'll be submitting my salaries to my husband ehn. Ka sa dupe lowo Olorun na if I (manage to) marry by forty. No wahala.

Well, you're welcome to the conversation.


We were talking first about the ridiculous discrimination of nurses refusing to provide contraceptives to single ladies (they say you must bring your husband)


Even abortions are allowed and understandable with married women but different rules apply to single ladies.



Then we went into vasectomies, hysterectomies, female condoms etc.
It's been fun discussing with matured people.

Acidosis:

Now you have something to advocate for. Cheaper vasectomies.


That means your girlfriends will no longer be able to bill you over illegal abortions.

Good luck.

Acidosis:
Well, I trust that you understand the procedure but you also have to understand that Nigerians have got trust issues.







The motive of family planning is to control the population of the country. I don't think it's a case of measuring a woman's worth. We have primary health centres everywhere in the country for expectant and nursing mothers. I don't think people care much whether a nursing mother is married or not before getting the attention of health workers. This thing is called family planning for a reason. Those who want access to family planning outside the provisions made available by the government can visit the private health centres or pharmacies. Single guys have been visiting these places for years to buy condom.

It's generally known as contraceptives, the term family planning was coined to please sensitive conservatives such as Nigerians.



They all do the same job.

Acidosis:
Men don't joke with their balls.


The emboldened

No one is touching your something.

Just to give it some holiday period.


It's reversible Oga, stop panicking.


And you'll still have erections and shoot anyhow, only that the sperm is reserved for the right time. Is that not better?

Acidosis:
Men don't joke with their balls.


The emboldened

No one is touching your something.

Just to give it some holiday period.


It's reversible Oga, stop panicking.


And you'll still have erections and shoot anyhow, only that the sperm is reserved for the right time. Is that not better?

pocohantas:
Noo. It is on a weekday. Menstrual Hygiene Day is celebrated on May 28 every year. It falls on a Saturday but I can’t get school girls gathered that day, so I am moving it backwards.




Thanks Acid. Lol, Sèun should enable a Nairaland call option.

Oh, I see.

But please let me know all the same, I just might be a able to make it.

May 27th is children's day too.


Kudos

cococandy:
Tubal ligation.

And even that is more complicated than a vasectomy. Vasectomy is a 10min procedure these days. Topical anesthesia. Out in 15 mins with a bag of ice to your groin to help reduce soreness and you’re good to go.
Way better for the couple than all the female birth control drama.

They are not ready for this conversation though.

Thanks for offering the info.



I think we should drum it in the ears of female teens to expect better from their partners.


Our lives will be better when we put ourselves in other's shoes

Acidosis:
That's why I used the term "perceived risk". That term plays a major role in healthcare.

Asides from that, I believe some procedures are simply unnecessary. Vasectomy may reduce unwanted pregnancies but it will definitely increase the rate and number of randy men. Have you all thought about this? And when you say you don't care, do you also realize that vasectomy would not put an end to STD? After vasectomy, randy men would still need condom for safety. It's totally unnecessary

I understand you're arguing against vasectomy because you're scared of it (come to think of it, only you among several women discussing in this thread)


I don't plan to drag matters with you though.

Acidosis:
It is not easily accessible because of low patronage. Demand drives supply. Why should I import female condoms when many of you won't buy? You see, reality differs from illusion.

It's seriously funny. The shape ehn, na wah.

But it's very necessary.


I think women should start designing their own condoms though.

Acidosis:
The perceived risk of vasectomy is high out there. So long as there are other alternatives for men, then vasectomy will always remain an unnecessary procedure.

It's absolutely safe and simple.


It's also reversible in most cases.

Please stop this scaremongering.

pocohantas:
True. Some grown women do not even know how their body works. Seems like too much calculations for them. That is why I am headlining a program to educate the girl child on their menstrual cycle (hygiene, safe period and safe sex ). You can donate menstrual pads and cash to us.

Now I remember I have calls to make sef. Thank you for this reminder.

Call me please, I hope it will come up on weekends. I'd like to participate.