₦airaland Forum

OhBritannia:
I choose violence this morning.

Don't worry, I won't pity you when she deals with you.

OhBritannia:
Pocohantas is this you?

What is your problem now?

Graceihotu:
My question is "what do guys really want"
I am not saying I am perfect but I know I am surely the best girlfriend any guy could ever think of yet I am still experiencing heartbreak at 31���


Had issues with my boyfriend since last year April bkos of a particular girl he posted on Facebook addressing her as the mother of his house. I became angry and told him I was only going to continue the relationship if I spoke to the lady in question bkos same lady posted him too calling him her first love.


He told me the lady was his cousin sister and ofcourse I believed him bkos she bares same surname with his cousin brother whoose wedding we attended together, He addressed me as his wife to be throughout the occasion so I had everything to believe in him

Just five days ago I saw his wedding notification on Facebook with that same lady. My heart has never been this broken B4 in my life. I have cried out my soul to the extent that I barely see clearly this days. I tried not to cry but I just can't. I am seriously weeping as I am typing this.

I have tried to encourage myself but I just can't stop crying and WAILING.

Who have I ever offended and what exactly do guys want?

I have searched all through the 5 yrs of relationship and aswear with my life that I never stressed him but I only requested Love not Money from him

My heart is bleeding.
I only sent him his pre-wedding pics and congratulated him then he replied "thanks''

He feels I don't deserve an explanation �����

Sorry ehn, but you saw the signs.

Favfables1:
I get the sarcasm behind your comment

But please can you not blame an innocent woman (his mother) for his stupidity?!!! ((Even as a joke...before small boys on NL take it serious ...)

For God sake, this man is an adult!
If he cannot clean up after himself then we should question his sense of responsibility and not his upbringing!

Even if he was brought up in a nasty/dirty way, can't he advice himself?! And what guts he has to even bring this up online and defend himself that's the height of it all ...

And it's so frustrating that one woman will rush and say "yes" all in a bid to be called "Mrs".... Tweeeh!

Of course it's the mother's fault. She raised him to live a disgusting lifestyle.

cococandy was right, everything she said happens a lot.

Fred166:
My younger sis just rounded up her NYSC, she told me she would like to learn how to bake cake and other small chops like chin chin, puff puff, donut, egg rolls, sausage rolls, e.t.c.. from my wife. Indeed my wife a pro in baking.

I told her that's not a problem, I will inform my wife about it. I even told my sister to come over to my house this weekend because definitely she would be staying with us.

When I discussed it with my wife she said my sister would have to pay, that she's not running a charity organization... I was really mad at her.

She said she would collect 100k (for 6 months learning) from my sister, and she is doing that because of in-law stuff... That I should go and ask her clients currently learning in her school how much she charges.

I offered my wife 50k. She rejected it, she said it won't be enough to buy baking utensils not to talk of baking ingredients. Mind you she sells baking utensils and ingredients.

She also said she issue her clients certificate when they're done learning, she refers customers to them as well...

Please note: I have invested heavily in her business, Infact it was my money she used in starting up her business. Yet she refused to help my sister even with the 50k I offered.

Please is this proper? Is she being greedy? It's really causing serious problem between us. I'm so angry. My younger sister is not even aware of what is happening right now.

Your sister has disrespected your wife in the past.

Now the table has turned.


Oga pay up or take her somewhere else.

lefemmechoclat:
So background. I am American. Haitian background. I am a nurse practitioner. My husband works in engineering. We have 4 kids. One with special needs. Married 10 years. He comes from a very poor background. I do not. We are in debt in due student loans,mortgage and our kid has medical needs and will probably need care for life. We both work and built life together.
He always said he was going to wait several years before building a home back home..he always said this. While sometimes I worked 2 jobs to make sure we stayed afloat. He got multiple job and first thing he did,instead of helping to pay debts to relieve me or save for our kids especially the one with medical needs etc was behind my back build a 60,000usd home for his parents.
Everyone knew except me. I found out cos u wen to his phone to get some pictures and found it. It breaks my heart cos we have built life together and I have struggled with this man and instead of relieving my stress so I don't have to work so hard he takes 60k and builds a mansion for parents. We have literally no savings ofr ourselves or our kids. That to me is irresponsible. His parents already had a home and we send nearly 400 a month for upkeep. Meanwhile all the money my special needs kid has is from my own pocket. We have 3 other kids without savings at all
.how could he do this? I seem to can't get over this.

He has another wife and kids back at home.

He's Haitian right?

ahnie:
Lolxx howdy sweetie?
Hope you ve forgiven me right?
Concerning my insensitive response to a certain post.

Awwwwn, who am I not to forgive you?



I'm cool with you dear.

MadamVanessa:



So much for women

The earlier we women look before we leap especially when it comes to marriage, the better for us. Karl Marx once said that religion is the opium of the masses. Let me borrow Karl Marx quote and put it in my own way, thus it goes: Marriage is the opium of women.

It's so surprising that when a guy promise a girl marriage, you see once a sane girl loosing her sanity and become so stupid. She does thing as if she's being hypnotize hence you see them rush into marriage without caring to dig more about the guy before accepting his proposal few months you see them coming to complained bitterly, a great number of them endured so much, they can't speak out because of shame.

If I advise them, they say that I am bitter and jealous of them because I am yet to get married, like wtf. I would've been worried about marriage assuming there was a place God says that it's only those that marry that will make heaven, but inasmuch as God never said so, I am so save whether married or not.

Men also should be very careful with the type of women they walk down the aisle..If you get merged with Satan in form of a wife , you'll forever regret your action.

You are correct. Very correct.

Anyone who counters you is just uncomfortable with the truth.




Dear ladies, vet, and investigate the man very well before you allow his ring on your finger to avoid these kind of painful stories.




Being single is not a curse.

ahnie:
The packer you used in packing them sef,seems you bought it from togo,really packer no be your mate.

If they use da kain parker swear for pesin, chai.

Slurity:
I guess he is a fool then, I don't many enemy with human nor myself and hating people after a fight is not what my bible teach me. People like you and macaroni can never really forgive.

Your Bible?
Please don't mention the Bible when it comes to Nigerian politics.



Don't tarnish the Bible abeg.

missimelda01:
So you think it was okay for him to be trying to make things work with me and also sleeping with a stranger he met, twice! Not like I wasn't responding positively.

You're not married to him yet, but he already has you tied up in knots in confusion.




Is this not a red flag?



Of all the responsible, matured, marriageable men we have out there, this is the one you chose to fall in love with?



Is this what you want to be dealing with in your marriage when all your mates are investing their energies and funds into progress, you want to do FBI on top of a community phallus?




My dear, pardon my harsh words, but do yourself a favor and drop this guy like a hot useless pan and look out for a well raised young man to take home to Mama.


I wish you'll listen.

KingMack:
So if you state all the natural remedies here you go die abi Everything una Mus find way cash out

Hyaluronic acid, lemon and other citrus ingredients, vitamins b&c.

Start with those and you'll see some difference in 2 weeks.






Avoid sun exposure.


Don't forget to drink lots of water.

iLegendd:
What are the advantages of not falling in love with a woman/man in this 21st century with too many unfaithful creatures?

1. You live longer
2. You move on easily
3. You have more investments

List yours.

You save money.



Bad relationships are a wasteful venture.

Johndagr8t:
Good afternoon, guys


Because of this miserable ASUU strike,have been at home but it more like an hell fire for me. My mum is always choking me everyday, from every little mistake she must turn it to war, and Honestly am fed up coz if care is not taken I might kill myself guys, she tempering with my life, soul and body

Everyday the neighbours comes around to interfere and am just tired, coz it giving headache,its destroying me emotionally, its making me go insane.

She always try and manipulate things, in a I myself don't understand,always ready for argument and fight always,I don't really know how to type what am feeling now, and I have decide I will b leaving d house soon, am thinking of going back to school and learn trade or something

am really down mentally now
#fucklife
#fuckme

Get off your bum and do chores.


The secret is simple, wake up a bit earlier, pack up your parents' laundry and do it.

Mop, clean, sweep, wash cars etc.

Follow Mum to buy groceries.



What are you using your energy for? You're still young.


No mother will insult a useful child.

Acidosis:
He's a lesson teacher.


His mom is simply transferring aggression. Na either man/husband issue or economic reality.

The kids are always the target for frustrated parents.

He could have mitigated things by helping out at home.



A child who does chores is bae to Nigerian parents.

lalalista:
Hello all,

Now here's why I'm down.

I was staying with my siblings before, I bought generator and rechargeable fan with my money while with them, now I'm in a serious relationship that will lead to marriage. My fiancee set up a business for me. I've been staying with my fiance for 6 months because my business center is close to his house. For 2 months now, no light in my shop because of some unresolved bill issues. My fiancee is having some challenges in his business so he couldn't buy me a gen. I needed a generator badly, so I decided to go and pick that my generator that I left with my siblings. My brother is making me feel like a bad person. He said I'm not supposed to take the gen. That what do I want compound people to think? That it's not fair. Since then, I've been feeling like I did something bad and like I'm a cruel person. Was I wrong to have taken the generator?

Apologize profusely over your actions and promise to make it up to him.



Buy him gifts in the future, keep your heart pure and face front.





As for your living arrangements, I sincerely hope everything works out fine. Though I don't approve of cohabitation but I'm not God to judge you.



Peace.

zoedew:
Gross display of ill manners! Tarts. Prozzies.Trulls. Wenches. Sluts. Loose and disreputable women! Both women threw womanhood to the dogs. Most indecent and shameful conduct at a State Function for that matter! In saner climes the police would have arrested and charged them to court for affray and conduct likely to cause a breach of the peace. Imagine such conduct from a former Ambassador of Nigeria! Little wonder, against the will of CC Onoh her father, she worked under Dim Chukwuemeka Ojukwu her Father’s close friend!! Ojukwu was present at Bianca’s naming. To imagine he could bring himself to sleep with her speaks volumes about his ethos!! Not today!!! Quite disappointing to see Prof. Pat Utomi in that company laughing at such sickening degradation of womanhood!!! He would have done well to stylishly move away from such company. It is worrying to imagine what lessons in infamy children who model on them have imbibed. Most unfortunate.

You misread this situation.

Someone was put in her place with a wig-resetting slap.


No fight here.

Acidosis:
Love this, thanks to your dad and mom

Thanks

Acidosis:
Of course. People say trash about fathers everyday but the world does not care. It's beginning to look like fathers are expected to fail and be stupi.d by default.

Knowing the world we live in, where "mothers will always be mothers" even in the face of paternity fraud and harlotry, you shouldn't have used certain words on your mom.

It's OKAY to be a hypocrite.

I don't care what anyone says about their parents.


But as for my own Father, he's the best I could ever have hoped for.



Yes he made some errors as a human, he's not perfect, but I love him so much, sometimes more than my Mom, but I love that woman too, it feels like competition in my heart so I'll just love them equally.


I'm grateful they are still alive.

Mariangeles:
The simple truth is that you don’t believe in love because you don’t have the capacity to love.
You cannot reap what you did not sow.

You have a good point here.


Lots of people fail to realize that reciprocation is the secret of most human interaction, including love relationships.


One good turn deserves another.

Do unto others whatever you want done to you.

Whatever you sow, you will reap.


These are timeless principles that will not change just because someone wishes it so.

HardMirror:
of all his post that is the one that you are complaining about? You get problem. So you did not see where he locked his wife outside, it is this post where he actually gave good advice that is your own headache?

1. I already made 2 posts in this thread but you can't see them, mba, since you want to gnash your teeth.



2. In your own best interest, face front.

https://www.nairaland.com/4927992/advice-girls-early-20s



Dear ladies, before you advice this guy, read his unsolicited advice to you first.


Na the same poster o.




I never knew karma is so swift.

Atimjessy:
My friends are always mocking me and calling me a small girls. I don't just like the way he monitors me.

I pray my kids will want my protection for a little longer.



I have a lot I want to do for them.



See, he will stop spending on you, then you will see life. I can't type much for you.

Wasky101:
The guy is an idiot. He has been up to all sorts of stupidity, he locked his wife out of the hse overnight when the marriage was just 2months old, imagine the atrocities he would have committed btwn then and now. I pity the girl hope she made a big mistake marrying him

He tried to mess his ex up, the girl swerved and dodged him.



He threatened to release her nudes.



He's just a bad guy. Very bad.

Nacoss25:
My marriage of 10 months is gradually craching.
I and my wife some issues 2 weeks ago and ran away from the house to her parents and now the parents are denying seeing her while from my investigation and information gathered she connived with her family to go into hiding.

I went through your previous posts and I have to say.

Ole gbe, ole gba.



Games everywhere.


You played your ex-FWB, your wife played you, now I don't know who won.




That your ex dodged a bullet, if she had married you, she would have been in this mess right now.




You're not sorry for anything, so I have no advice.

I just know that they will start looking for MFM upandan if they're lucky to still be alive.



Young lady, not all that glitters is gold.

oldienavie:
The OP said she is running after a man that clearly does not want her, how exactly do you want me to advise her ?
So because she is female, I should tell her what she is doing is good, despite the fact that she clearly lacks self worth and is stalking a man that has clearly told her he does not want her ?

The truth will set you free but first it will piss you off. The truth has to be said regardless of how you feel, the OP by her own admission does not have any form of self worth.
She needs to focus on improving herself and hopefully, she will learn to place more value on herself. Rather than running after a man that clearly does not want her.

Aaaaaaaaaaaand you had to say 90% of females on this planet are worthless.


Just because a lady was 'discarded' by a narcissist obviously.


Thank God you have a mother at least.





You people will just open your mouth waaaaaaaaaa, women are this, women are that, not knowing that people are humans first before we can even consider gender.



You decided to deride 90% of women because of one single case.




Hardly will you hear that all men are rapists, they are all ritualists, they are all monsters just because of the actions of only one man. Women accord you males the regard you do not deserve. Your gender hurt women every single second, every second on this planet, about 30 women somewhere are getting raped. Countless women are getting beheaded for rituals every night, countless women's heads get slammed on home walls by nasty husbands, yet women do not lump you all together as evil, especially when you, yes you men cannot face your fellow men and tell them to their face that what they are doing is bad, just because you can't afford to lose your sick friendships.



You need to improve your integrity.






Clean up your house, it's stinking to the high heavens.




Yet you come up to social media and play the age card, blaming a little girl who is reeling from confusion over a puny-minded simpleton who didn't learn how to break up with someone. Pretending to be matured when all you added was age, not sense.




You had to insult women because you're too cowardly to say things as they are.




Go and look for other people to impress. Go and speak the truth to your gender, go and display your maturity in the right quarters. You succeeded at nothing here.





Nonsense.

oldienavie:
I am not sure why you are this pained, someone asked for advise and I gave my opinion. Seems you are not any different from the op and the truth got to you.
If you are someone with nothing in your head and the only thing you have to offer is that thing between your legs, get something doing, develop yourself do not waste your youth on tiktok...

I don talk my own

Of course I had to reply you, that was what I felt when I saw your post disparaging females.



We have enough issues to deal with in this world as black women than to have to deal with spineless wusses like you.


Go and confront your fellow men, maybe you will find a solution to the evils you are condoning by focusing all your attention on females who didn't steal your bread.






If you want to dish advice, face your fellow men and leave women ALONE.


Stop picking on women!!!!

oldienavie:

What exactly is wrong with being old ?
How did being old become a thing to be ashamed of ?

Your shame is the lack of wisdom, not your age.



Baba arugbo is supposed to be a tag of honor. Alas, what a pity.



It's not too late for you.



Repent.

siofra:
Many women make pregnancy seem like a walk in a park when it isn't at all

I have a cousin who just gave birth and it has not been easy for her. She still bleeds even after giving birth and changes pad 4 to 6 times everyday. During pregnancy she was very forgetful and she was not as smart as she used to be. Huge stretch marks have covered her belly.

I didn't know pregnancy was this difficult
I think I will adopt sef.


I think women should speak out more about this. Most men think pregnancy is easy, this will enlighten them.

Women are strong abeg.

If she's bleeding heavily after 2 weeks postpartum, please take her to a hospital by force o.



Sometimes people forget about their health after putting to bed.



Be your sister's keeper please.




Now to your topic.

Pregnancy is definitely the most difficult and rewarding venture a woman can ever attempt.


It's bittersweet.


This is because your body is designed to sacrifice every available resource to sustain that little life growing in you.


In fact, a research says that the baby also sends hormones into mummy's brain to make her body put the baby's needs first in-utero.


Even after birth, your body will take the best of nutrients available and divert it into breast milk for the baby.



So, if you finally decide to take on the biological motherhood path, take lots of prenatal vitamins before starting your journey, stay hydrated and well nourished.


You are the one who will need it most because trust me, your body will take care of the baby by itself.



P. S. Your friend is not less smart, her brain just shifted focus from
pre-pregnancy concerns. She has been
re-born.



Shout out to all mothers out there, any man who doesn't appreciate you is a bum.

Sxyhalima:
we are all 27

I met him. I knew he was what I was looking for. We started dating, he told me he diddn't want a relationship, just a situationship - casual dating/FWB. I diddn't want that so I told him we should stop seeing each other. He pursued me. I continued because I liked him. We continued dating for about 3 months. I was in love with him at this point. I told him that I diddn't want to continue this and that we should stop seeing each other or he make me his girlfriend. He agreed for me to be his girlfriend. However because he diddnt truly want that in his heart, he continued to date someone else. I found out and ended it with him. I was heartbroken but moving on.

Me and the other girl kept in contact, I found about a month later he was watching my social media page and accidentally liked my picture, even though we don't follow each other. I told her about it and asked when she last heard from him. She said that day when we both stopped speaking to him. The day I told him that it was over, and I asked if he was going to continue to date and he said he wasn't going to date any one for now, just focus on himself etc. Then that same evening, he messaged the other girl asking if it was really over between them, how he never wanted to be in a relationship with me, and she was asking about a relationship, but he diddnt want a relationship with her either, so she said she wasn't interested. He deleted both of our numbers and moved on.

I found out and I cursed him out, cursed his whole family out, said abusive things that probably turned him off me completely. She doesn't know about this.

Valentines came and she got flowers from him. It turns out he arranged for the flowers to be delivered the day he said he diddn't want a relationship with her, but it wasn't signed from anyone. She messaged him asking if it was him, he said yes. the next day he messaged her apologising again but she wasn't really interested. the same week I contacted him several times, asking for him back in my life, he wasn't interested. We agreed no more contact, and he would post the items that he has of mine to me, but then he came to my house unannounced and dropped of the items (i wasn't home). he lives a good 40 minutes away from me but because he said he was going somewhere near where i lived, he said he would kill two birds with one stone.

she messaged him the same day, saying that she was interested in a relationship with him and he said he wanted one with her too and they arranged to meet for coffee. i have since cut them both off.

what do you make of this?

Awwwwn.


I feel for you if you're really female.


Listen to me.




REST.









Go back up and read again:







REST.





You will find love.

Delete and block those two unnecessary numbers on your phone.