Justbehave:
We are saying the same thing or maybe you are the one who is confused.
The post is about mother in-laws and wives but in your quest to blame men,you left the discussion and brought up infidelity against men.
Like I said,if your husband is exhibiting shabby behaviours or being unfaithful to you which is the root of the problems in your family then go deal with him.

Quest



To blame men




You are not ready to find solutions if you view this as a men versus women matter.



Men and women are yin and yang, intertwined and forever interwoven as long as we all coexist on this planet.


But then my words are flying over your head because you don't have the capacity to absorb them.

Zico777:

U are very silly!
Uncultured girl!

Hmmmmm



You want me and you to start trading insults?


You


You that can't even understand less than 6 paragraphs of a post I put up there?



You are at the level of kindergarten children, just maintain your lane, but I know you still want to throw insults, so, just face your family and insult them to your dirty heart's content.

interim4:


Sis, its me just catching cruise, it isnt a fake story, i was feeling bad that very day, but the situation has gotten worse now as the whole thing is dawning on me as i type. I havent been able to eat properly. My saying all those things is to convert my anger and sadness to cruise, which eventually sound stupid. I am broken, but i gotta piece the pieces.

If you've not invested too much in the relationship, you can move on easily.


End the relationship fast, tell her it's over, then move on.

Zico777:

So out of point!

Of course my comment is outside the range of your comprehension, go and play with your PS5.

Justbehave:
You can start by telling us how unfaithful your husband or boyfriend is. Post it and we will gladly comment.

You missed my point.

Complaining about mothers in law and women's behavior is only dealing with the branch, the real root is being left uncut, which is the attitude towards their husbands shabby behavior in marriage.


No one is holding those men accountable, hence the ripple effects.



P. S. My family is okay so far, so your attempt to shame me for an assumed infidelity just fell flat.

JackDaAlienz:
Guys, I'm starting to regret dating this girl, she is about to spoil major bag
I'm talking thousands of dollars
Millions of Naira!!!

I have been dating this girl for 1 year now, she was invited for seminar and big people attended, big people from Europe, asia at intercontinental hotel in Lagos. During the meeting, one of the cooperate guy started crushing on her and was trying to woo her.
She said she doesn't like Chinese guys( the guy is Asian) I told her to play along and get money gifts from the man then split the money 40/60.
She started insulting me saying do I think she is cheap girl or olosho??

Did I say anything wrong?
I told her to sleep with the man with condom and ask him for 10k dollars because the man really loaded, he funds research and grants of about $170k and he like my girl
she is jobless and economy hard yet I still give her and spend my hard earned money on her. So how is it wrong that she can't reason together let's make big money from the rich cooperate guy.
Was I wrong?

You forgot the case of the Kano girl collecting money from the Chinese man, now she's dead.



You are trying to pïmp out your girlfriend as a prostitute because of economic hardship.


Later you will now turn around and call Nigerian girls prostitutes.


She should dump you immediately.



Sense is very far from you.

Nigerian societies absolutely love to hold women accountable for their actions, everyday you see threads about mothers in law, women issues here and there.



Hardly will you see threads about unfaithful husbands, they are very few.


Until you all accept that marital infidelity is an offence that has a consequence, maybe not in the eyes of the law, until you start avoiding things that will bring problems later in your lives, till then, keep dealing with mother in law issues.

kiddkash:
Why do mothers feel that no woman is ever good enough for their son

According to the thread a nairalanders created earlier today.

My grandmother is about 88 years old, and yet throws subtle hostility towards my mother. My mother is the best in the world.
Even recently when my grandmother came to stay with us for over a month, she did it.

Before anyone says it is not true, I am matured enough to know what is and what isn't.

My younger sister told me that my grandmother wanted someone else to get married to my father when they were younger.

So, I want to know the root cause of the hostilities from mothers towards their daughter-in-laws

You already got the root cause from replies, now, what is the solution?

That's the next thing to discuss.

As long as we as a society keep condoning, enabling, and pardoning infidelities without making husbands accountable, women will keep finding unhealthy/healthy means of coping.


Imagine the family of your son suffering in the next 30 years because you can't control yourself.

bukatyne:
Most of the troublesome MILs replaced their bad husbands with their sons so it almost feels like the wife is taking away her lover.

You rarely see women who lived good lives/have good relationships with their husbands disturb their DILs.

Perfectly said.

interim4:


Well i doubt if this was the actual scenario. I called her twice on both phones, she didnt pick, she then called back a minute later on audio whats app, so i switched to video. She was on her bed at this moment, but from what i observed the sound came from the living room, it was dark so the person probably hit something that wasnt seen. So it seems like b4 she called back, she had asked the person to step out. But mehn body dey pepper me like this, its a sweet and sour feeling. Inside life. And this kind level now, if person dey there, the kind fucking wey go dey go down, if i fit see the view, i fit use am mastur.

You want to masturbate to the view of someone having sex with your girlfriend!



This story is fake.

Handsomejok:
I saw folic acid on our bed I asked her why is she using them for . She said she is pregnant was shocked and I asked her why did she not tell me the good news she said she has forgotten. I remember a month ago I noticed some changes in her body I asked her if she was pregnant she said no and I overlooked it. I feel so bad for her to keep this wonderful good news from me and what pained me is she is almost 3 months and I still had no idea. I know I have hurt her a lot in the past which I have apologised to her from the bottom of my heart and I don't know why she is still making life difficult for me. No matter what happened she shouldn't have hidden the pregnancy from me for 3 good months and I am begining to wonder if the pregnancy is even mine or not. It is right for a wife to hide a pregnancy from her husband? I need your inputs please 🙏

What did you do to hurt her?

don't cover yourself if you want solutions

Norah199:
Good morning guys. I need some matured minds and married men and women in the house to look into this matter and give me an ideal way to go about this. Would be a long read pls bear with me.

So late late 2021, I got married to my long time girlfriend. Before the marriage, my mom had a little reservation about the girl and her family for some odd reasons due to her tribe. She’s Igbo. Everything was funny because the first day I introduced my wife to my mom. She liked her and everything was cool. They where going on well until my mom started telling me she’s having some dreams about the girl and her family. She’s white garment member. I think her dislike started growing when she told my wife about her church and she said she can’t go to her church for any reason. I was a former member of the church when I was a teenager but with time as I grew I stopped going to the church not because it’s a bad church or something wrong with it. I just don’t fancy going there and also not a church type of person. My mom believe it was the girl that made me stopped going to the church which was funny. She has said that several times.

For the record, I’m an only child of my mother, my dad is late and she’s yet to marry again. I do everything for her like her rent, monthly upkeep, and also got her a good car. Initially I thought she was doing all these because she felt she hasn’t enjoyed me yet and another woman is coming into the picture which is normal for most parents. So I did everything I could to make her comfortable before my wedding.

We did the wedding and everything went on smoothly aprt from some normal family disputes and all but the wedding was successful. Deep down I know my mom still doesn’t like my girl because of her statement s most times but I don’t always give her that room so she’s always quiet and rather not talk what’s on her mind.
Later on, my mom started complaining of the money I give to her. She seems not to be ok with it. Trust me guys. I do more than enough for my mom. I just tried my best to handle everything well and sometimes allow her have her ways with her demands so she doesn’t see my wife as a stumbling block to her.

To cut the long story short, my wife took in and was due for delivery and her mother came like a month before the delivery. Actually my wife had a false labour that made us rush to the hospital and doctor said she has very high maleria and was in serious labor. I called the mother immediately and she started coming the next morning because she lives in the East. The doctor gave her some injections and drugs for the maleria and the labor stopped. Doctor told us it wasn’t the right time for the baby to come out because it was 8 months.
The next morning when she was strong, we went back home with the mother that was already in town.

The mother decided to stay till the delivery instead of going back and coming again when she delivers which I supported.
Two weeks the doctor gave us turned to 1 month and labor didn’t still come. All these while I never knew my mom was so bitter that my mother inlaw was in my house for that long. She once asked me why the woman didn’t go and come back. It was that bad. To make matters worse, I lost my child after a CS was done on my wife. It appeared the baby was in distress which the doctors failed to notice and came out with birth asphyxia. After about two weeks, she died. I opened a thread on that.

Problem started after I buried my child. Everyone was in sorrow and so much pains especially my wife. A day after the burial my mother called my mother inlaw and asked her why she hasn’t gone yet. Started accusing the woman of killing the child and all manners of things. How she had turned her husband to vegetable and now she wants to teach her daughter how to turn her son into vegetable too. It was really bad. They both insulted each other and quarreled seriously on the phone just a day after the lost of my child. She also called my wife and told her “shebi she doesn’t want children” my wife was quiet and didn’t utter a word.

I was in so much pain and so pissed at my mom for everything she did and didn’t even speak to her for like a month even though I still sent her upkeep money. I reported her to her uncle and a few respected people. I don’t know if they talked to her but nothing was done. No body called for any meeting even her own pastor that I reported to. Instead he told me it’s woman talk. That they both insulted each other and the rest..

After that incident till date. My wife, mother, and mother inlaw haven’t spoken to each other even though I have had more peace since then but the fact still remains my mom and wife are not in good terms. I have long forgiven and moved on with my mom even though that closeness is not there but I don’t fail to send her money for upkeep every month. My wife is cool with it and said she doesn’t want that closeness with my mom even though she has forgiven her too.

My mom and I talks once in a while and never for once has she asked about my wife since that incident and my wife hasn’t called either which I don’t blame her. The last time I visited my mom. She said some ill things about my wife and her family and even told me my wife is not my rightful wife and some other things. I usually don’t listen to her talks because I know how religion has turned so many people into something else.

The question right now guys. What do I do in this situation. The truth is nothing can change my moms mind about my wife and her family. But still as a husband, I still feel somehow knowing my wife and mom are not in good terms. My mother inlaw the last time told me she wants to make peace with my mom that they can’t keep fighting forever especially because of her daughter. But deep down I know the thought my mom have about them. So I just told her it’s not the right time and with time everything will be fine. I can’t force my wife to call my mom because she didn’t do no wrong. At the same time my mom won’t even listen to me for any peace making. There are more things to say but I will end here. Sorry for the long write up.
Your opinions would be deeply appreciated.
Thank you 🙏

I wish I could tell you peace will return, but, what if it doesn't?


Focus on your family, everyone will adjust.

EagleEyes306:


Chai These are all cloth wife materials not human wife material as I am looking for

Thanks! Happy Sunday to you too

Okay na, when you find your heart desire, call me for your wedding attire materials.


Good luck.

when2:




How many yards of wife material do you want OP?

I even have bundle quantities sef.



Plenty plenty


O por

EagleEyes306:
Hello folks,

I am looking for a lady that is ready for a serious relationship.

About me: dark (chocolate), tallish, athletic build, graduate student, comfortable starting a family with the little I make, easy-going, and ambitious.

About her: A virgin, AA, independent working class/graduate student/businesswoman, presentable/beautiful, 25- 33, 5ft 7 inches - 6ft tall, homely, hardworking, a serious Christian, intelligent, easy-going, and not big.

Please send me a PM if you meet these requirement and are interested or know anyone who might be.

You are looking for wife material.


Is it sequins,
Cord lace,
Velvet,
Velour,
Brocade,
Aso oke,
Guinea,
Ankara,
Silk,
Organza?



Which one do you prefer?


We have all of those at bundle quantities.


Don't forget the accessories too.

Happy Sunday

ojotobiloba1:
Hi Nairlanders and Happy Sunday, This is the first time i am doing this and pls be nice on me. Just paid house rent last Thursday and things re very difficult as putting food on the table is now a difficult task. I just need money to buy food at home to keep body and soul alive . Pls just show mercy on me as me and my wife re starving. May Almighty God bless anyone as we will never lack anything good in this life. 0049632249 Gtbank. Pls have mercy on me

I pray you find help soon, I understand how house rent gulps a lot of money for a lot of people.

May God keep your marriage intact.

Ekundayo7574:
Yes I don't give my tithe to any church I use to give that to my mum, I don't believe in any church as far as I'm concerned

This makes a lot of sense, your Mom prays over you, so, she's your priest.


You give her your tithe, which is your seed of honor, she blesses you, everyone goes home happy.


But the best way is to find a true man of God, they are rare in Nigeria, but they do exist.

Mindlog:


My day job is working with 15 year olds who are living in care (have been taken away from their families by the UK govt), so I see no reason this boy's case be considered worse.

I see

frozen70:


Dont mind him he is still learning, experience will teach him in a practical way

It shall be well

Brandiebird:


I guess you’d need empathy to feel Sorry for a child in the predicament in the op. This is a child. Many of us were rebellious, and little shits but it was through love, wisdom and support that we grew out of that stage and were able to redeem ourselves. This child has a story too! This sob story is the mother’s story. Can you imagine what he heard growing up? Can you imagine what he went through in the care of his father?

Both parents are selfish people who never should have brought him into this cold world! Every child is a blank sheet and the result is due to their environment. The only victim here is the child.

And it doesn't occur to you that selfish people beget selfish people?


Is there no link between the father's character and that of the child?


Absolving a 17 year old of responsibility for his actions, is that not a sure way of raising a callous, entitled adult?


Most responders here have come a long way to learn from various experiences, successfully passing through adolescence, thereby can be objective enough to call for a supervised period of real life learning for a soon to be adult.


Yet, our assessor deems all the people as inferior simply because of their perceived economic standing?



Mindlog, you have done your best, some people just need a little more time to learn, or maybe they will never learn, it's also okay.

Brandiebird:


I’m holding an adult accountable for her actions and her responsibilities while you hold a child responsible for theirs. Yes, you and everyone who shares your feelings are evil, poverty stricken, immoral people. You’d probably sell your mum to get an “opportunity” to go abroad.

Ps. I held both parents responsible but you focused on “loose” which is a trigger for you so maybe you should share the spotlight with me so you can see yourself clearly too.

Done responding to you!

Immoral, poverty striken people condemning a person willing to jump from home to home, without any sense of loyalty or empathy for a sick mother only in search for the most comfortable situation for himself, interesting.



Behold, we are fortunate to be blessed with the presence of the most moral individual whose luminance shows us our dreary, bleak personalities.



Praise be.

Brandiebird:


It’s scary to think you’re a mother or you’ll be somebody’s mother one day. Yes! She was a loose girl and she will meet her karma in her “new” children.

A woman you don't know, you are already hating, simply because you heard her story.



You're pretending to be scared for children who are loved and cared for just because their mother does not agree with your reasoning.


You want a "loose" girl to keep doing what you want because she is not supposed to have her own life.



You called every respondent on this thread bitter and depressed because you have a different opinion.



Turn the light on yourself, look closely at yourself, what you will see will disgust you.

Fineman2:
So I met this lady 2 weeks ago in school, she came for her project work.

She showed a lot of interest during our conversation which made me to collect her number, thereafter we continued chatting on WhatsApp and calling


She later said she will be coming to school and I told her to let me know so that I will meet her in school because I live very close to our school, infact I invited her to my place but she later postponed it and said she won't be coming again and said I should visit her instead.

I wasn't prepared for such outing that day so I told her to wait till Sunday and she agreed, we continued chatting on WhatsApp till yesterday Sunday morning, she called me early in the morning to inquire if I will still visit her and I said yes, she said by 12pm because she will first go to church.

When it was 11:30, I called her and she asked if I had left home and I told her very soon, she now said I should call her once I get to a particular location and give the phone to bike man so that she will give us the direction to her place.

I left home 12:10 pm, got to the location, negotiated with okada man, called her number but she didn't pick, I called the second time, she didn't answer so I thought maybe she wasn't with her phone.

I waited for her to call back but she didn't, after waiting for awhile without reaching her, I told the bike man to carry another passenger.

The last time I called her, she switched off her phone, I returned back to my house.

She hasn't called to offer any explanation after 20 hours and I'm just surprised.

Here is my question for ladies on this forum, is what she did okay? What do you think made her to behave that way?

I'm not the type that run after ladies up and down, I hardly do such thing, I've avoided women for most part of my life and such ugly experience will surely affect the way I relate with them anywhere I find myself

She must have learnt those tricks from your fellow man.


Ndo

eazzzy1:
If every mother disowns their rebellious teenagers there would be no children with mothers in the world. Your cousin was a rebellious teenager, she got pregnant at 19, did her folks disown her?

I understand the fear of not wanting to relocate the boy abroad but not picking his call and not wanting anything to do with him is an overkill.

The table your cousin thinks has turned in her favour is still turning. The mistake the boys father made in his youth is what your cousin is making at almost 40. When his father came back to his senses, he met an impressionable teenager, when your cousin comes back to hers it may be too late as her son would not be the child you can win over with sweets and biscuits anymore.

Tell the lad the truth as you have told us, your mom wants nothing to do with you, she wants to focus on starting a new family.

I can't wait to see her rich, full, happy future without dead weights in her life.

Brandiebird:
Just a few points I noticed….

1) A child wanted his biological father’s name: nothing wrong with that.

2. He wanted to live with his father: his right and as a child he was probably damaged by his mother and father’s actions.

3. He is being manipulated and abused: He probably understood the drama around his birth and then his father became abusive after manipulating him.

4. This is a child we’re talking about: Most importantly!!!! A child who knew nothing about life.


5. The mother was a loose girl who got pregnant out of marriage

6. The father was a manipulative predator

I just feel sorry for that child

Also, this place is full of bitter people! Home of the weak and depressed.

So, you want the "loose" girl to sponsor the boy abroad because he's a child.


A 17 year old child, hmm


You have no problem collecting money from "loose" girls.



Your hypocrisy stinks to the high heavens

nokia1000:
Woman said to her husband after 5yesrs in marriage: I don't want someone's body to touch when I am sleeping.
They slept that night without touching each other.
Next night the woman left their matrimonial room and started sleeping on her own.
If you were the man, what will you do?

Just shower and brush before going to bed.


Dazzall.

Zonefree:
- Ahnie, a woman, deviated from the subject matter.

- Frozen70, a woman, said she'll be reading people's comment cos she got nothing to say.

- Mindlog, a woman, is asking about the personal hygiene of the husband after 5 years of marriage.

- Kobojunkie, a woman, is suggesting he gets a marriage counselor to help beg his wife.

- Exodus15v11, a woman, is worried why the husband failed to ask the wife why she said that.


All these and more are the reasons why a sane man should never seek marital advise from women!

You will marry a woman, yet you don't want a woman to advise you about how to relate with her own gender.


Okay

100fix:


Shalom

Don't shalom me, when the woman caught in adultery was brought to Jesus, He said he does not judge her, but you, Nigerian zealots, you judge women.


May the Lord repay you for placing unbearable burdens on His flock.

100fix:


Thank God you you’re convicted of it now.

We are not speaking about the man, neither do we have any way to tell him.

even out at the expense of your own soul.
It’s an individual race.
Shalom

Convicted of what exactly, that you are a woman-hating psycho that is hiding under Christianity to perpetuate your hatred of women using religion.



You will receive God's just punishment for mislead the Lord's flock.

Mindlog:


But in this story na boyfriend/girlfriend tinz, they were never married. The boy's father went ahead to marry and have other children.

The woman has never been married, so nothing is holding her back.

Don't mind these evil false prophets.


If not that I got to know the Only True God, I would have hated Christianity not knowing that the Nigerian kind of Christianity is as erroneous as the Nigerian people themselves.

100fix:

She got pregnant in the cause, you think there were no commitments?

The moment you and your partner sincerely exchange promises to marry. That’s as good as married in the sight of God.

Not the ceremony.

You can shrug it off but you only cheat yourself, not God.
You’re tied to that man. You know this.

But the man is not tied to her abi, your own version of God allows men to "remarry" but women must stay lonely because in your opinion, they are already married to a man who blatantly rejected them.



Please and please, I don't know your kind of evil, one sided, misogynistic doctrine that brings no peace to females.


The God I know is not the God you're trying to portray.


Avoid me please.

CSTRR:

If your parents dealt with you very harshly based on your teenage mistakes, your life would have turned out very different.

Teenagers are teenagers for a reason.

And boys will be boys.

Nothing is wrong with him, as long as he has access to the same basic education that millions of children go through in Nigeria, nothing stops him from making a success of himself.