₦airaland Forum

LesbianBoy:
This one is for sure and nothing wrong with that

Afterall she would have been denying him sex even now that they are together in Nigeria

As for taking another wife, nah that won't happen as far as the wife is doing "normal" by sending money and calling him back in Nigeria

My own is to prepare her for the worst case scenario.



Her own is to decide what to do.

Ladyhart:
Just shut up, if you have nothing to say, you go just open mouth wahhhh?
Na everybody go be like the women in ur life.
Dumb thing, pls avoid me.

I understand you want to defend your dignity but please don't let anyone push you into scaring your helpers away.


Please be positive especially on this your thread, you never can tell the kind of favor that will come your way.

Ladyhart:
Good day Nairalanders,
I am available to do your house chores, cleaning, cooking and washing.
Do not forget to refer me to people who needs my services.
Thank you.

Check this out:

Franzee:
man I was contemplating of suicide just like you....just after sokoloan and fast money ended my career with their defamation stunt..
But look at me... I ghosted myself.. and instead of dying am pushing hard to change the story

Stay positive please. You can still get something good.

aysnoopy:
I've been thinking this for over 2 weeks now.
I'm totally depressed and I want to end it all.
I'm not here to pretend I need help but people that knows me well knew that I've been seeking for assistance to get a job for more than a year now but it's not coming forth.
I think this will be the only way to stop the pains I'm feeling in my heart.
How can I be jobless and my mates are making it big. Even my course mates in school are achieving. I think I'm at the bottom of my mate.
Whom do I offend? What's the purpose of staying in the world with nothing to show.
I can't take a taxi to go out on my own without first treaking half of the distance to cut tfare expenses.
I've a thread on this nairaland about poultry. I've been doing well in poultry before financial crises comes in. I even have a WhatsApp group of 80+ participants that have gain more about poultry but my poultry business have fold up due to some financial crises.
I'm not just a new member here so people shouldn't think this a stunt.
I have HND certificate in civil engineering. I've seek for jobs from a lot of places, even some nairaland members have promise to help some times ago but help isn't coming forth so I've think the best option for me is to stop d pain. I can't be at the bottom of my mate while everyone is achieving good tins.
Though I'll miss my wife and son but I can't be killing myself little by little by thinking about how my life has been so useless since over 3 decades back.
I know if this happen, people/family that doesn't care about me will took step to take care of my only child (if they wish to).
I've been going round seeking for help. I can't feed my family anymore. No ability to medical care.
I'll drop my pen here.

You are a man.


Oya dust your papers and start your search afresh.


But before you do that, pray well and link up your old friends, someone will respond.


It's always darkest before dawn.

Chipink:
I dnt think the guy mean bad...
He said they will take advantage of her.
U should understand what he menat and its very true..it happens all the time.
These randy stupid lagos boys that thinks with their usless deek

It's a valid concern. But in Nigeria, the possibility of sexual harassment by both young and old men is ever present, no matter where you work or study as a woman. Even if you don't want, they will offer you and try to force you to succumb.



What matters most is having enough leverage to flip them the finger which every woman should work towards.

AKWATGOLD1:
So sweet to say teach for a while, understudy the management then start your own school later.
For how much that the school will pay NCE maybe between 12k-17k with school lesson. How is she going to save, to start her own school?

I don't think I need to explain myself to you.

jonaifame22:
My girlfriend is beautiful,fair,and she looks like a Chinese, she's slim like pasta,eye white like that of a new born,,her laps so soft and fresh,

But here is where my problem starts,I saw her younger sister,and every feeling I have for my girlfriend seem to be on life support

The first day I saw her she wore a tight gown that seem to hug her body tightly,like the way the father of the prodigal son, wrapped his arms around his son and wept after he saw him from a distance returning home after his fruitless sojourn where he went to waste his resources

My eyes stayed glued to her like a young child staring hungrily at a piece of snack displayed in a show glass for prospective buyers to pay and get, I battled fiercely with the spirit of lust just like the angel in the Bible wrestled with Jacob to let him go before the break of dawn

My two eyes strolled to and fro her luscious body like two lovers taking a walk in a garden,my sight settled on the view of her cleavage like flies on feaces,cos the gown had an opening at the chest area,as if that was not enough when she sat on my couch her gown drew back a bit and I was able to her see fresh and meaty laps, believe me I was lost like a stolen phone.


Now I am wishing, there's a human relationship SLOT where one can go and exchange his girlfriend for another one

Lust of the eyes.



You are a goner.



Undisciplined, a pain to women and a useful tool in the hands of the devil to bring chaos to a happy family by scattering sisterly love.



At the end you will declare bitterly that you don't understand women because none of them will ever love you genuinely.



Repent now!

Vinnie2000:
Lol, some peeps re blowing Big lies for hia o!

Lies as big as the lagoon.

ollins:
I am so happy to announce that I and my wife are back together.

I shared some issues we were having some weeks back on this forum and how I realised I had been the one at fault all the while.

Well my beautiful and lovely wife has forgiven me,my Queen whom I will cherish forever,infact I just bought a ticket for us to Travel for a 3 days ship cruise.I have also lavished some money on her,lol,women love gifts and surprises trust me

I have come to realize that sometimes we don't know the value of we have until we loose them but I thank God it wasn't so in my case .

Just when I thought it was all over,my wife gave me a call to come and see her and the rest is history.

Thank you all so much for your words of advise on this forum,you guys rock!!!
Most marriages won't break if we are ready to swallow that "pride" and "ego"

Go and sin no more.



Don't repeat your mistakes.

Ladyhart:
Good day Nairalanders,
I am available to do your house chores, cleaning, cooking and washing.
Do not forget to refer me to people who needs my services.
Thank you.

Since you have NCE why don't you teach for a while, understudy the management, then start your own school later.


Keep up your faith, there are many opportunities out there.

chrystee:
Hello nairalanders,
What's your opinion on a wife relocating abroad with the kids while her husband stays back at home. I and my family are considering my relocating with our kids but my husband will remain at home. The essence of the relocation is to seek for ways of obtaining dual citizenship for the children after which we will possibly return back to our home country. My husband has a thriving business here which he won't want to leave for an uncertain future abroad. Are there people who have gone through this long distance marriage. Is it worth doing for the future of the children given the current situation of our beloved country?

Your plan is good for the future of your kids but bad for your marriage. It's also good for your career if you plan to have one.


There is 99.9% chance your husband will cheat. And 80% chance that he'll take a second wife in my opinion.

You have to decide what matters most to you.

Sterope:
Middle class Yoruba doesn't represent all Yoruba population. I am surprised you are arguing about this.

I mentioned well to do, then middle class.

It's about standards. No one wants their children in this situation unless they have no other choice, (or maybe if they're no more which is the case here) Not even people going through hard times.


I'm only pointing out the absurdity of it all.

JoyousFurnitire:
And maybe when irresponsible kids indulge in unprotected sex.

True

Mariangeles:
Rather, you should stop being in denial and tell yourself that.



You don’t care, yet you concluded in your little mind that I live in the slums, to make yourself feel good?

I just deduced from your posts.


If you're familiar with well to do or at least middle class Yoruba people, then your views won't be that narrow.



I have seen, worked with, lived with,and interacted with All people from all walks of life, rich and poor, from every major tribe in this country, but I don't generalise because for every case, there's always an exception.

Danyyyyyyyyyyy:
It's very true , she might even use her fees to support "hustling gig " that might crash one day

As in eh, the husband will collect the money and frustrate his efforts to make the girl's life better.


It's a hard journey to marry into this kind of situation.

JoyousFurnitire:
Not even in the slum, talk maybe other states that they have this compound-family thing, I haven't been there so I'll reason a little because it's their home and their compound.

In slums here most live in rented apartments of about a room or two and houses in slums are so small with little to no yard.

Na that kind place a 30 year old wan marry? Inside him papa rented one room?

Besides a room in some part of Lagos (outskirts) cost about 250k and we have lot of young people even Gen Z moving out to their own.

I've seen few cases like this but it's only when hard times hit. Not a freeloading husband looking for uncle to fund his wedding.


Even a simple wedding with 10 guests is better than lavish wedding on credit.


What do people like me know sha. Toor.

jamess32:
wahala be like bicycle, so someone in his 30 living in family house should not get married again? well, that the guy still dey hustle now doesn't mean he will not make it, I can see some saying that someone in his 30 without house should not think of marriage where as most of those nairaland billionaire are 45+ living in a rented apartment o, biko let the poor girl decide her life, if she's comfortable living with the family fine...a brother get married and even gave birth to a child in their family house but now he has 2 houses and a car, what God cannot do does not exist.

No one says a 30 year old man in that situation should not marry but please respect the lady enough to place her in her own room, even if it's small.

Mariangeles:
If I live in the slums, so?
Does that make you better than me?
Do you think you’re better than those living in the slums?

Shame on you!
What a gossip!

Don't feel bad baby.

I personally don't care where you live as long as you've got a plan to move upwards.



But what's obtainable and acceptable there is not the reality everywhere else.


I am Yoruba and I feel revolted by this proposal.

JoyousFurnitire:
Lol. Lai Lai

I never moved out of Lagos. At all.

I would agree a little if you mentioned other states in the west. Majority here live in rented apartment and those who own one will rather have tenants than take more of their members.

If you bring this kind of nonsense proposal to anyone in Ogun, Ondo or Ekiti States, they will pursue you commot with your two left legs.

You never fit sustain yourself,you come dey reason marriage to put somebody's daughter inside suffering.


I don't know about other people, but for my side, na the girl go first chop serious blasting for dreaming up such absurdity.


It's so ridiculous.

Mariangeles:
O ma n sele ni eko.

Maybe it’s more common in Lagos state then.

Slum areas, you might want to clarify?


Because I wonder where some well to do people must have gotten money for a lavish multi-million Naira wedding without debts or rituals. In their own cars and moving straight into their own houses.

Oh well.

JoyousFurnitire:
I was wondering where she got that from

She might be living in the slums, so being a non-Yoruba person she might think that is what all Yoruba people do.


I can't blame her.

BluntTheApostle:
The mother is on my side. But she is helpless.

Their type of relationship is like this: the girl is the mother while the mother is the daughter. I hope you understand.

I have spoken to my father, but my father is too liberal. He says I should leave her alone to find her own way.

I think your Dad, as an elder has seen something you haven't seen.


The girl is wilful, and has had a history of getting her way.


Let her do her wish now, of course she will learn a possibly bitter lesson later in life.


Just watch out for her and let her know you have stuff going on in your life when the bills start piling up for her. Do your best but please let her learn.

Kobojunkie:
A 30-year old man, in the year 2022, who thinks as you claim is a thing of great concern to me. Your niece being 20 leads me to believe him some sort of predator or -ish. .

Op, why not properly investigate the man's background for yourself. Find out exactly who those who live in that family house of his are and there relationships to each other, and also understand how big that structure is for them all to fit into it.

Absolutely correct. He is a predator.

akpunda86:
Stop saying responsible.Wat ifbd man lose his job nonsavings ,sudden job loss and family have a very big house,will u be homeless or how many friends will accommodate them,Life no balance have seen people that lived in Lekki a guy I know and from for 12 years and from dr to Ikorodu and wife left him and from Ikorodu back to family house in Surulere,sis just pray 4 a stable income

Please calm down before responding.


He is a young man just starting life, and hustling. Not stable yet. Not that he has had a job and lost it. If that's the case, it will be seen differently, at least he tried.

This guy wants to put his new bride in a family house, he has never been responsible for a place of his own, he wants to add a wife to the equation.



That reminds me, OP please ask her if she's pregnant. They may be rushing because of shame.

Ishilove:
According to the OP, the mum doesn't support the marriage as well.

Personally I think the girl is being overindulged. If her sponsor, in this case the OP and her mother put their foot down and insist she gets at least her HND first before she thinks of marriage, I believe she will farabale

Exactly.

She needs to farabale and plan her future.


A responsible man will not put his bride in his family house.

voyy:
Hey friends, I'm getting married today, support me with your prayers.


Pictures loading soon.
.
.
.
.

Congratulations.

HML

Ishilove:
He can stop the suffering to a large extent now that he has the chance by not indulging her naivete.

That's if he's ready to face her hatred.


Since he's not the direct parent, the best he could do is to dissuade the mother from pushing her daughter into perpetuating poverty.

Ishilove:
These two statements are in direct contradiction of each other. After she is married, she becomes her husband's responsibility.

I mentioned that he might be magnanimous enough to help out.

Of course she's the husband's responsibility but who wants to sit by and watch his relative suffer because of naivety.

BluntTheApostle:
First of all, this marriage issue came as a rude shock.

When she said she wanted to see me about something, I never expected it would be about marriage. I thought it was about her education or even a business because she once mentioned how people were making money in POS business.

And it appears like she is determined about this wedding stuff.

She is totally dependent on me and her mother. Her highest academic qualification is ND, with an HND in view.

Although, I did sponsor her to learn makeup when she said she wanted to learn it. But I doubt she has used it to make any money, or even wants to use it. Because she doesn't even talk about it.

As it is now, she doesn't want to hear anything else. Just wedding.

It is not even about the guy. But a lot more about her. She is too young. What life has she seen? And yet she wants to go and live in a place that is like barracks.



I know life is a teacher, but I fear she would learn the hard way. I don't want her to suffer.

Of course she will learn the hard way, regardless of what you say.


After she gets married never hand her cash if you plan to help. Just pay her school tuition by yourself, or any other expenses you might be so magnanimous to undertake.

So sad.

Mariangeles:
That culture is common among the Yoruba people and you know that.
Don’t make it seem as if it is unusual, or that there is something wrong with it.

If she says she’s ok with it, then she can cope with it.

It might be common in the slums, not the rest of Yorubaland.


We build houses too, sometimes even before getting married in case you haven't seen anyone doing it.


This case is unusual, unacceptable, ridiculous and condemnable to most reasonable Yoruba people.

Mariangeles:
If you are Yoruba, then I don’t think there’s a problem with that.

There is a big problem with a Yoruba man in this situation.

Please don't be tribalistic.