₦airaland Forum

BluntTheApostle:
The problem is that he doesn't appear to have any plans of getting accommodation.

It is like he will marry her into that family house.

A 30 year old man who doesn't have his own accommodation has no plans to help your niece to further her education.



We may all be wrong sha, let's see if your niece is smarter than all of us.

eniolorunfe:
@op,

No where did you mention what your niece does for a living or if she has a source of income. This is 2022, a 20 year old girl still has some years ahead of her to be financially independent before getting married which is a huge advantage. I personally think this should be the focus of y’all.

Instead of spending lots of money on her marriage, you can use the money to set her up or even send her abroad for her masters if she is done with university. Getting married to a guy that is still “struggling” and living in family house shouldn’t be the focus abeg.

Discuss with her and let her know that this is the time to maximize the “youth” advantage she has.

You are so wise

BluntTheApostle:
A few weeks back, my niece brought a man to me and introduced him as the one she wishes to marry.

Her father died while she was about 15, and I have been the one taking care of her, through school and all. So, she sees me as her father.

Alright, so she brought this young man to me. I have nothing against him. He is finishing up a master's degree, and even though he is not into anything really specific (he is a hustler sort of a person, combining different jobs), I do not have a problem with that. He appears focused, and really hardworking.

However, the problem is that he does not have a place of his own, and does not appear to have any plans in that direction.

So, last week, I asked him a whole lot of questions, and it appears like he would be marrying my baby, and she would live with him in their family house. Other families living there include the man's aged parents, some uncles and aunties, and their children. He was not specific whether aunties or uncles included blood relations and their spouses. I didn't press him on that.

Now, I have also sat my niece down, and had a chat with her. She is only 20+ (would be 21 in June). I tried to be as neutral as possible, but I may have been too blunt sometimes because she has been defensive, including accusing me of not wanting to fund the wedding.

Her mother reasons with me, but the girl has become deaf. She doesn't want to listen.

My point is that the wedding can be put on hold till the young man makes a firm decision on accommodation. All this: "I will consider it; I am considering it; it is a part of my plan" is not conclusive at all, and I don't want her to go and start her married life under the same roof with so many people.

The man is 30 (although he looks older to me), and I am beginning to feel that he is manipulating her.

What do you think?

Which of you has experienced living in your husband's family house? How was the experience?

For me, I think of it just like living in a polygamous family, and it makes me uneasy because this girl is too young, and too fragile.

Your opinions and experiences are highly welcome.

It may be all that I would need to reach a decision concerning this knotty issue.


Lalasticlala.

Let the man and girl fund their wedding by themselves.


So, they want to freeload on wedding expenses, house rent and God knows what else.


A 30 year old man without a place of his own should be thinking of hustling more not marriage.


How do they plan to finance their lives?


What if they get pregnant by 'mistake'?



What does the girl aspire to?


If you agree to the marriage, you've let the girl down, if you don't agree (which you shouldn't) you've become her enemy.


So, tell her you support her but she shouldn't expect any more handouts from you as she is now her husband's responsibility. She is also free to visit you at anytime, or to return anytime she wants. That way she can see life small.

drimzsmoke:
MOST nairaland guys can't learn....moreover,you're a lady,they won't want to learn from you,it's in their DNA

I was hoping my post will educate those who come across it.


My target is not the foolish but the wise.

VeeVeeMyLuv:
God forbid
I reject what you typed.

Me I am not one of those public toilet men & women that can't control themselves even for just a minute (1minute) having intercourse with anything they jam or come across.

When you have only clean people around you, you'll only be aware of hygienic practices.


I only pointed out that you're rolling with dirty people.

VeeVeeMyLuv:
not to forget including excreta chippings from insufficiently cleaned anus

When you're dating the lowest of the low. And you're raised in the worst of the slums.

You'll think everyone is living in the same conditions.

Mooh247:




Weyrey.... This vagina people sef

An average kpekus contains more bacteria than the dirtiest mouth or hands

While a mouth has saliva and food particles, a vagina contains remnant of dead ovary cells, menses , traces of urine, traces of another man's sperm cells, sweat , dead eggs



.

It's obvious you're an ignorant fool but let me educate you and any other person that comes across this post:


The vagina is a self cleaning organ. This is achieved by;

1. Producing secretions that wash out particles be it from sex or any other means.

2. Keeping an acidic environment. Only few strong bacteria can overcome this environment to cause infection and they are mostly introduced by infected boyfriends and husbands.


3. Maintaining a good balance of natural microorganisms. The vagina has natural microorganisms that help keep it acidic, so it works around the clock to keep adequate numbers of them in the right proportions. If the balance gets upset, infection is close by.


I'm hoping someone will see this and learn a thing or two.

LILTJAY:
White women are too beautiful especially eastern European women..
Unlike ugly black women especially nigerian sheboons that will still be forming ontop ugliness and useless character again..

Aaaaaaaaaaaand you had to insult your mother.



Chai.

Wizlead:
I believe sometimes people get angry over a situation and rise up to do some drastic or nasty to change the known. Situations surrounding me right now demands such decision but what possible ways can I make money out of the whole thing? Some would say yahoo and ritual but I'm not a subscriber to any. I mean making money legitimately out of anger and frustration in this Nigeria? What I'm doing is not sustaining, that is why I'm thinking this way.

Go to YouTube and rant away your troubles

pocohantas:
Congrats to them.



E be like say them never give Berèmx better head before. Wetin concern orgasmic sex with penîs? A woman is more likely to achieve orgasm on her own than by the penîs gender.

Comrade abeg no too loud am.


Some girls are out there 'ringtoning' to make some guys happy.


This love matter has become a game.

pweetiedee:
Nope

Noted

The man probably knew he would get away with it, that's why he did it.



Asking a rape victim for virginity test is horrendous!! Even if it's alleged.




Well, that teaches all other foreign ladies where not to travel to.

immortalcrown:
Try to pay attention to both the post and my comment. The woman said the rape happened on the floor of her apartment. She said she recorded the scene. The question you should ask yourself is if cracks on a door or window are part of what she recorded. Did you not read the part that says no camera evidence of how the man entered the apartment?

pweetiedee:
Whatsapp? I wanna see the pictures

Would you like a roommate?

To negotiate, you have to have leverage.

From his mail, he was leveraging on his experience at Microsoft and Akmal.

We all know that they won't want Microsoft to get a hold of him especially since he pointed out that the cost of living is low in Seattle.


So, if you want your negotiation power to be strong, build your profile first.

waleco2008:
On fot

Is it still available?

Your number is not on WhatsApp

Barrister026:
Pastors wife wants the junior pastor to be reporting to her if her husband is not around or any issue at all during church service.

She try as much to be in charge when her husband is off in another Church to minister.

This nearly caused a problem in the church today, while I was going home surprisingly a friend of mine supported the pastor's wife.. that she's the first lady of the church of God if her husband is not around.
she can represent him anytime to coordinate like most churches

What's your take on this issue is it right?

If her husband is the G. O. she should be in charge, but if not, then the junior pastor should take charge.

illicit:
I am Ekiti and a Linguist

And you think I'll take your word for it?

you're a well known troll on this forum.



This is my last direct reply to you.

illicit:
Ogun in ogun state and Ogun river means corner, edge, border

Ask any Yoruba around 40 years around u

Please focus on your tribe.


Stop trolling Yoruba people.

illicit:
The ogun River was so named because it was a border

Ogun also means edge, border

Ask

For crying out loud.




Will you please keep your misinformation to politics?




It's tiring already.


And besides, the river has been so named before Nigeria came to be, so, what's the border about?

shilenji:
Abeg 'Ogun' doesn't mean anything you mentioned,not even close. Abegi o.
Ogun may mean the following with pronunciation varying,
Sweat,20,war, it's long, he pounds,charm, medicine.

Depending on the pronunciation.


You got it.



Yoruba people are not lost, neither can we be repressed.


We are indigenously located in Nigeria, Barbados and Brazil.

illicit:
Not really

It actually means edge, corner, border

But it has the same spelling with juju (ogun)

The pronunciation is somewhat different

The first vowels differs in length

Ogun State was named after the Ogun River.
Meaning 'Long' River.



Angle means 'Igun'

Not 'Ogun'.

Maxwell775:
My cousin sister (from my mother's side) who just got admitted into the university have been staying with me for the past 4 months now. I live in a 2 bedroom flat, and my house is just a throw stone to the university school gate.

Due to financial issues she couldn't rent an apartment, so she goes to school from my house. She's 20yrs old, I'm way older than her with abt 10yrs.

Before she started living with me, it was my mother who told her parents that she could stay with me, without my knowledge or permission.

The very first day she was on her way coming to my house, my mother called me and was like her sister's daughter is coming to stay with me bla bla bla.. At first I was upset, atleast she would have informed me. Am not really close to my mom's family people, we have this distance relationship (no hate, no grudges)

Now here is the problem. She likes wearing mini skirts, short gowns and tight trousers or leggings. Infact what she wears indoors is worse, she will put on very hot bum short, crop top and all manner of rubbish!!

Truth be told, I use to have very strong and hard erection whenever she walks. @20 if you see her banging body?? Slim, figure 8, Coca-Cola bottle shape. Her nyash dey clap if she dey walk. I don't wanna be emphasizing on that...But seriously she's tormenting me. Make I no go shift her pant, I don't wanna commit abomination. But mind you, I have a girlfriend.

Nairalanders please, How do I talk to her about dressing decently, without her feeling insecured or impression of a pervert.

If she's not your blood Sis, or daughter of your Mom's blood Sis, she was sent to be your wife.



So, seduction is part of the process.

Framed:
You just opened your dirty mouth waaaaa to vomit rubbish. What in her post tells you she forced the husband to marry her? When she corrected that misconception you still opened mouth anyhow and said don't attack me. What was the attack in her telling you not to draw conclusions on things you know nothing of. You would have sounded better with your mouth closed. Nonsense and ingredients

Who stole your bread this early morning?



Sorry ehn.

HarunaWest:
Submissive means to make sacrifices for their spouse. Most ladies get married with the mentality that na emancipation from their papa house. They dont know that marriage is a different ball game.

From frying pan to fire for African woman.


Issokay.

Submissiveness in the mud.


Chai

WriterNig:
@Lord_Of_Saarl tweeted;



1. Waiter:



2. Menu:



3. Music:



4. Temperature:



5. Lighting:



6. Customers:



7. Car Park:



8. Mode of Payment:



9. Location:



10. Food Portion:


11. Miscellaneous:


12. The Ceiling:



13. The Toilet:



14. Excellent Customer Service:




Feel free to add yours ❤️❤️

Thanks for making me laugh, but that first picture ehn, once you enter, even the water will be expensive.





Just don't sit down unless you really planned it.

aboyaji:
Na so this boy go just dey confused on his surname?

Tonto Dike said his name is "King Andre Dike"

Now, his father said he is "King Andre Churchill".

The name on the birth certificate is the real one.



They should both stop stressing this boy.

RealAquarius1:
Thanks for your kind words. I know the storms I have passed and I have never asked for help online before.
The loan deadline is on Saturday.

I hope you get the help you need soon.

RealAquarius1:
Please, I really need your help. I don't want these suicidal thoughts to get the better of me.

You have attempted a business. You are doing well.



Don't try to run a race that is not yours so you won't land in a ditch. Having loans to offset is one of the experiences of running a business.


Don't feel like a loser, because you have gained invaluable lessons.

Chin up and cheer up.


I hope you find help soon but even if you start something new, you will still find your way.



Live your truth, live your life and never give up on yourself because you're your most valuable asset.



Hope you got the drift.

Gosh234:
I think this is the right section to post this to get the audience needed after posted earlier on Romance Section

I am 25 years while she is 30years
Currently doing my NYSC, while she deals on laptops and other accessories,which is going fine

We have stayed for a year and few months now
We are very compatible and of like minds
We love each other so much
Very decent
Responsible
And very humble all these while we have known

Whatever desired in a woman she has them all

On November,this started
She came to my house and after eating
She asked me out for a marriage and she doesn't mind footing all the bills and everything as regards to that

I never expected this because our agreement is to marry when any serious suitor comes

She isn't desperate because if she , I know of at least 3 of stable men with good source of income waiting just for her YES

I don't have a house of mine neither any source of income

She suggested I join her in business as well, as her business is my business as well while searching for a job

At same time I so much love her


Actually at this point
I don't know where to start

NB- Never knew she owns the business till months we have dated

Same as age gap because she looks damn younger than her age

If you're asking, that means you're not sure.



Let her marry one of those men who are sure.