100fix:



You are a very wicked person, yourself, if you don’t stop disturbing your cousin.

I hope you haven’t disturbed her to that extent.

The pressure from you can disturb her state of mind and make her begin to think of bringing the boy over. The boy is probably already doing internet fraud, or into various bad things.



Someone that sees this as an opportunity, instead of saying I’m no longer worthy to be called your child, take me as an hired servant I.e. I know I have done wrong, just forgive me first is all on my mind, he is busy having dreams of uk life.

Completely unrepentant, he will only wreck havoc there and drag her back and probably beat his mum, when he grows up with strange elements that’s are worse than him in the uk.

Let him show he’s doing something for himself, like some people have mentioned, probably even finish first degree in with good results. That will be a very good benchmark. And then watch him closely to see his mental posture.

He’s still young, There’s time. Let him prove himself, kind of like his mother did.

Or else, forget about him completely.

And it’s against the Word of God for his mother to remarry when she has a living partner as in Corinthians.

She can marry, she has never been married before.

Klass99:


Hmm Richy, you always make me smile sha. At the first bolded, there is nothing new under the sun na, were we not once teenagers oursleves? Were we without an ounce of common sense like this teenager has displayed? It is in every man to know good and evil, right from wrong, we are all born with that innate ability. It can be called a conscience and a guilty conscience is like an alarm that goes off within us, when we have done wrong. This boy knew what he was doing, he takes after his father - the apple never falls far from the tree.

2nd bolded - I am shaking my head and saying no, no, no, no to this. Zupay please none of you in your cousin's family should contemplate it. Let your cousin on her own be the one to indicate that she is willing and open to a reconciliation and reconnection. No one should pressure or compel her to do this on their timetable or the boy's pleading, complaints and suffer head. She needs to work this out by herself and reach a decision by herself without undue interference.

Last paragraph - oh I totally agree with you. I like and admire her for the guts it took, to walk away and put herself first. Too many women give up their lives for the sake of men (husbands & sons plus children) to the detriment of their souls and dreams. I applaud any woman who has the presence of mind to say, this is not right and enough is enough in a bad situation, after giving it her best and then walking away, to prioritise her well-being.

You are 100 percent correct, the woman in question experienced double pain, first from the father, then from the son.



I feel so much for her.


I also agree that if a person is bad, they are just bad no matter their age.


Let the boy learn from the other side of life, at least until he has his own children, then he will know the gravity of what he did to his mother.


I only wish the best for the woman and I pray no one will grieve her again in this life.

Berrityga:
So its been more than a year I met this beautiful woman, she is married with two kids females both above 10 years old. Her and her husband have been looking for a male child for many years now but the woman haven't taken in. So how it started!! I go to her house to work (home service) she is very pretty and welcoming, she is the kinda woman I want to settle down with, hard working and she is a great cook. She was very nice to me and also I was very trying to fill in the void of a male child for her so she liked me alot. I started sending her launch to her working place, surprising her with gifts once in a while, I think thats where I got her, on this faithful day I was in her place about to run up with work when her husband went out, I called her to let her know I'm done she said I should wait for her. Omo! When she walked in from the gate I couldn't take my eyes off her sexiness. To cut the long story short I summoned courage and held her and kissed her I thought I will receive a slap and warning never to come back to her house again. But I didn't thats how we had a quickie and I know she loved it cause that weekend after church she drove and came and picked me up we went to a hotel and i made love to her like she was a 16 year old girl. Fast forward a couple of months we continue having this sexcapades once in a while, sometimes quickie after I'm done with work and her husband isn't around. Now yesterday I noticed her body has changed and I asked her if she is pregnant she said yes that she is 3months pregnant and its a male child. I'm very sure the child is mine but she hasn't said anything. What should I do guys. What if this child come out looking exactly like me??

At three months you can't know the gender of a foetus.




Wait o, your own Joseph did not run away.


This story is fake

Ficklemind:
I really don’t know how to stop thinking, not even for a second my mind is always faraway please help I’m slipping away....

I’m a woman of 27years, lonely, don’t have a relationship, not financially ok , don’t have any skills even though I just graduated waiting for mobilization and I planned to acquire one while in service.

I never actually thought about life much till I graduated, I gained admission when I was 20years and I actually thought I still have much time to achieve a lot of things in life . It was now I realized how much time I had wasted in not paying much attention to my life even when I know that it never too late.

My financial life has been basically sponsored by me Incase you are wondering how I get funds to live by. Last year, I got a casual job , did a thrift business though not something big but I was able to saveup and was able to live on that even now I still have something I can depend on without asking from anybody by living within my limit.

My relationship life has been ok too, I left my last relationship early last year and that was the last time I got laid. It has not been easy to abstain but with determination here I’m going months without it. I must say I’m lonely, I crave to love and be loved yet I don’t want to get into any relationship now because I don’t want to fall into unsafe hands and having unnecessary sex.

I feel like a failure like I don’t have purpose for my life, I crave for intimacy but even if I get someone who likes me or wants to settle down with me I’m not sure I’m ready for that now because I’m not financially stable yet.

Is there something wrong with me or I’m just over reacting?

Are you not the same person that is still communicating with your married ex?


What you don't understand is that most life issues are not isolated, something always causes something.


You refused to move on, cut him out, open a new chapter in your life simply because your ex promised to give you guidance about men until you settle down. (as if men are that complicated, it's just a format)



I'm not a psychologist, but if you want to be happy, start by removing old things from your life, old clothes, shoes, bags, school notes, married exes, ex boyfriends, useless girlfriends, in fact, anyone that is not serving any purpose in your life, remove their contacts and relegate them to Facebook.

You are about to go for NYSC which is a new phase in your life, carefully curate a good life for yourself, don't carry baggages along so you can enjoy yourself.

I wish you all the best.

Ficklemind:
Good evening, please how do I politely tell my married ex to stop bringing back our past memories?

My ex and I separated on good terms, he is AS likewise myself so we had to go on our separate ways. It over 6 years that we separated but we still talk once in a while. I don’t have any feelings for him anymore but I don’t know about him and I don’t have any intention of seeing him either though we are far away from each other.

I don’t want to block him and I don’t want to offend him ,but when I take a picture with a random male friend and I upload it on my status ,he tells me he is jealous that the guy is an idiot for holding me or touching me. Asking for my recent pictures and sending me my old pictures that I don’t even remember existed.

This guy is married with a child. How to I politely tell him to stop all this because I don’t feel comfortable with them.

Someone that is trying to keep you available for sex, you're playing with fire.


You won't be able to have any meaningful relationship for a very long time.

How much is the price for your future?


Respect yourself and move on.

kingthreat:
Why is it that some ladies get easily pregnant in a relationship but when it comes to marriage, they now have problems conceiving.
One of my female friends, her only child is the one she had with her boyfriend while dating. Once they got married, they have been trying and trying but to no avail. Her mother-in-law greatly disapproved of the marriage.
Or should I talk of one of my neighbors who had 2 from different guys. Only for her to enter the marriage with a well-to-do man and problem happen. She can't blame the man either as he fathered one daughter when he was in his 20s.
A colleague told me it is spiritual, that some wicked people start reasoning some people's matter when they are married. This I don't want to believe. Will like to hear more opinions on this.

I think the mother in law is behind it.


I observed the same situation. In this case, they brought another wife for the husband after preventing the woman from having any more kids.



Medically though, there's something called secondary infertility but I have very strong suspicions about the mother-in-law.

Lamanii22:


My sister is not really the outgoing type, just home-work home… I was surprised when she even met this one… I think I agree with you on ‘waiting a bit’… would tell her

She should try and go out a bit, so that she can have options to choose from.


It's easy to think that a bird in hand is worth ten in the bush.

If she insists on going ahead, she should brace up for rude shocks coming her way.


Good luck to her.

Lamanii22:
So guys, my sister met a man like a year ago that is divorced, right now he wants them to take it to another level, like wedding level…. My sister is a single mother though, educated, working class, successful…. But my mom doesn’t agree to it, she’s only seeing the bad side…


So I would like to know if there’s anyone who has gotten married to a divorced man before.. I would also like to know the pros and cons…

This said man has been truthful so far though…

Waiting for comments! Thank you…

Isn't there any other man proposing to your sis?


Divorced men are a minefield in my opinion.


Marriage is a big deal o, every problem in the relationship will be amplified in marriage.


If it were my sister, I would ask her to wait a bit.

chris51:



He is lucky his wife gets on with his mother. With time he and his mother will sort out their problem.

Read my post again, what the wife needs is balance.

ambale:


The guy is lucky his wife took his mom has her best friend

By the time she choose another bestie we go hear the result

It's okay to be on good terms with a mother-in-law, but if a wife is too close, it's not good.

DONORJIR:
See Better woman, is she single

Eyah, she is somebody's wife o.


But God will give you your own.

Lifeinbits:
Myself and my girlfriend have been dating for almost three years that she sometimes stays in my house too. I have always had the intention of traveling abroad but i don't know how, so last year my girlfriend brought the idea of traveling and how she wants to try US study route and i encouraged her to do so. I also supported her so much with my money by helping her to pay her application fee and TOEFL exam. While doing all these, we had a conversation and she told me that if she is able to get a fully funded offer that we will be going together and I will be going with her as dependent. Now my girlfriend has gotten admission but she is yet to apply for visa and she has changed plans. She does not want me to go with her rather she is advising that I should also use the study route ifi want to travel.

Note : we had the intentions of getting married but right now she doesn't want us to get marry.

You want to marry her because you supported her ambition to travel abroad.


Not because you love her.


Leave her alone and ask her to return your money.

destiny4luv:
Good day Nairalanders.l; let me go straight to the point. I work off-shore so most of the times I am not always around, some times I can be at work for three months and be given one or two weeks time- off that's just the nature of my job.

But they is something troubling me seriously, when I give my wife instructions regarding anything at all she will first of all ask my Mom before she carries out the instruction I give her, that's if my Mom is in support of the instruction. Recently I gave her an instruction regarding a particular matter while I was on time-off, only for my wife to call me fee weeks later that she has carried out the instruction when the time I told her to carry out that instruction is not yet. I was so mad at her I asked her why can't she wait till the time I told her to do it; she said my Mom came over to the house and told her to do it so she did it. At that point I cut the call.

Later that day my Mom called me and was asking why I cut the call on my wife and refused to pick her call even why she was calling back, I told her she was the course, and she said how, and I told her why will I give my wife instruction and u will come to counter that instruction without the both of u letting me know not after the did has been done. My Mom was angry that can't she have say in my home, I told her to an extent not to the point of countering my instructions. She was very angry we both had some argument on the phone before I told her am late for work I want to cut and she hang up, she knows I was seriously angry with her. Since that day she hasn't called me and I haven't called her too.

My wife called me and apologized that it won't happen again. I forgive her and we both made amend. Now my Mom is not talking to me and my wife at the moment. Please what I did was it wrong or did I over reacted?

I love and respect my Mom likewise my wife, but I won't want her to control my home for me. Should I call her and apologize to her or just let her be till her mind comes down?

Take some time before you apologize to your mother with gifts.


What you did was right, a man is the leader of his home, Grandma should understand and respect your position


As for your wife, she is very wrong to discuss your private matters with your Mom, a mature woman will know how to balance things, so, give her stern warning before you let the matter go.


You have done no wrong here except for your heated argument with your Mom.

akube34:
shuu if you don’t know much, keep quiet.

I should keep quiet so that you can mislead people, do you think I'm talking because of you?


I'm sharing this information so that people will avoid regrets later in life.



When Sickle cell trouble and expenses start now, love will clear, only fight will remain.


Just dey your lane o

1Sharon:



PGD nko, you can't do that one either?

I don't have information on it

Ssddff:


What tha hell? And if things didn’t go as planned per your “faith”. You will subject those kids to pain for their entire life.

This is the most foolish advice. He can only follow his heart if he has money to take active precautions.

I can't believe some people can be so selfish.

paradigmshift:
thanks for the explanation. what if both couple live overseas? Have never seen people complain of this sickle cell issues overseas within the African community, is it that they have the facilities overseas to treat it or what? Lastly, you said 4-6 months before checking the foetus, can't it be done like a month or weeks of pregnancy? Lastly, not everyone can double date like you said but life happens.

Try to understand my points.

Don't forget that I'm not a medical personnel, I'm only explaining what I know.



1. Sickle cell cannot be treated, it's for life, most people don't have issues with it because they simply marry someone else to avoid stories.


2. When a pregnancy is in the early stage, it's not easy to insert a needle and find a tiny foetus, so, you'll wait until it's growing bigger. Hence, my estimate of 4-6months.


3. It's not double dating if you end a relationship to start another one, if you're dating more than one person at the same time, then that's what we call double dating.

But, if you already know that your relationship is not going to work, and you're being stubborn claiming to love your partner, that's why I said the person is too lazy to find someone else.

paradigmshift:
can they do it overseas?


Lastly, in your word, not that the man is lazy sometimes.

I have no recollection of such a procedure performed overseas, though I only know of it theoretically.

Now, the purpose of amniocentesis is to test for the genotype of the foetus amongst other tests, possibly in the second trimester, so if it's SS, the pregnancy will be terminated, imagine traveling abroad only to end up terminating the pregnancy, and start over, all the money gone down the drain, spending nearly 4-6 months nursing a pregnancy only to end up aborting it.


So, every pregnancy will send you abroad until you get your desired genotype, is that not foolish?


I maintain that only a lazy person will claim to love only one person stubbornly to refuse putting themselves out there in order to meet someone else.

jmichael259:

For AS couples to first or only have AS or AA kids is mere luck. It can even be all sicklers, not just their first child.
Each pregnancy conception has a 1/3(SS,AA,AS) on textbook chance of being SS but in reality actually around 40% chance if parents are both AS.

Remember: This is for each new pregnancy to be conceived. The gene does not start counting during childbirth neither does it know how many kids the couple want.

Your head is very correct.


This means that for each pregnancy, there is 25% chance of having an SS child.

Why would any sane man play Russian Roulette with his wife's womb and claim to love her?


The math is not mathing 🤷🤷

1Sharon:



I'm from a 1st world country and amniocentesis is not risky at all. The risk is less than 1%.


If amniocentesis is so dangerous in nigeria, let him consider other options.

There is no need to throw his fiancee away without considering all avenues.

Nigeria is not a first-world country,so this advice is not applicable.



Presently in Nigeria, amniocentesis is still an avant garde dream procedure, we know about it, but we do not have the facilities to perform it, neither do we have the facilities to provide this specific post-op care.


His fiancee will find love elsewhere, they will both be alright at the end.

1Sharon:
AS genotype shouldn't be a hindrance! If you meet a woman that is AS you can still go ahead.

Go for genetic counselling, there are options.

You can do:

amniocentesis OR

pre implantation genetic diagnosis.


Those options are if you have the money and are brave enough.

Do you have any idea how risky amniocentesis is?



They will insert a needle into a pregnancy belly from outside to extract something from inside the belly, thereby puncturing the belly, uterus and placenta.


How many Nigerian medical practitioners have successfully performed amniocentesis in Nigeria?


How many hospitals in Nigeria have such facilities to protect the mother and foetus in such a delicate situation?



How many patients are willing to risk precious pregnancies for such a procedure?


All because a man is too lazy to find a suitable bride?

just2endowed:


ypur number 2 caught me, why is the disease common in Africa? was it from cross breeding from another species of non Homo sapient?

It's a biological evolutionary response to protect tropical dwellers like Africans against Malaria, in my layman opinion


Mind you, I am not a medical doctor

pocohantas:


And the women are at home sleeping. It is only on NL that men work and all their wives are jobless. All around me I see working women. So, I don’t know why they still use that as an excuse to misbehave without remorese. But then, that is for women that would pick them. From my careful analysis of the ones we have here, they don’t even have much to offer a woman who knows her onions.

There is something called arrested development.

Some people are 45 years of age, but psychologically, they stopped developing at 12

Kobojunkie:
In 2023, there ought to be no more excuses left for why a woman would choose to sit tight in a situation she already knows is going no where in her favor. Society is no longer to blame as it is more than clear at this point that marriage was never meant as a prison for anyone including women.

Loud it for those women at the back jare

UselessBuharist:


Nor be all women I know but women easily fall for that bull crap

Easily ke, for where?


Maybe we are looking at different kinds of women o, because, nobody has time for that nonsense

pocohantas:


But “some people” claim they are not benefitting from marriage. When almost every fragment of our culture as a people was designed for them.

Buhahahahaha

You struck a cord right there

The submission is not enough naw


If women can lie down for them to walk on, it's acceptable to them.


How dare women think they are supposed to be treated like humans?


How dare women ask for more?


Shebi they are working night and day


Omoh, the matter tie wrapper.

UselessBuharist:


The way you women sees your pastor as God is funny.

So, you want to lump all women into the same category because of one woman.



No be every woman dey worship pastor

pocohantas:


Well said. She can choose to live and leave. It is up to her. I don’t know why married women act like they were disowned by their parents at the point of marriage. Such that they have to die in the man’s house.

It's shame, the earlier people drop shame, the better.

patoski39:
does she sound like somebody that can afford tfare to run? Talk more of feeding herself and her baby?

You want to give her tfare ni?



Tell her to visit the welfare office in the local police department or local government office.

Kobojunkie:
No be selfishness carry her dey born pikin for inside the same situation? Abegi!

Ah, now it's looking as if I'm making excuses for OP, I'm not.


On the contrary, I think she is putting all the blame on her pastor and husband, she has not accepted her responsibility in the problem.


1. Accepting to marry someone she doesn't love

2. Shoddy family planning

3. Taking more than her fair share of home responsibility

4. Refusing to walk away from a horrible marriage

5. Listening to wicked advisers.


These are the few things I can observe from her posts.

Kobojunkie:
Society isn't always to blame. If women no step up for themselves, who go do am for them? The men who no give a damn?

That's why I'm harsh sometimes, because crasepeople plenty for this Naija.

I remember back in 2016, I was in the process of breaking up with someone, he tried fighting it, so he sent one man to me, I refused to budge, thank God the man respected himself and kept quiet, if not, I was planning to tell him to give the person his 16 year old daughter instead of me.

It's just so exhausting to have this society that is hell bent on making women's lives difficult, fighting for myself everyday, mhen, e hard.

ahnie:
You re an adult with functioning brains and knows what's best for you.

Someone just accused me in some other thread that I instigated his ex wife to leave him whilst I remained in mine,funny enough I don't ever remember doing such.

Going forward Anything concerning husband n wife matter for this nairaland I nor go Eva chook mouth put.

She's actually surrounded by selfish people