₦airaland Forum

Nairaland, :
If u think she is comin 2u cuz of d job,tel her u hv lost d job again and see wat happens.

^^^Its just going to be too obvious that guy is up to games, and what girl has time for this? He must just move on its a lost course.

@OP try again but somewhere else this time, I urge you.

@Poster please losten to @Ranoscky and obowunmi. Forget this whole thing and see what else is out there for you. They say when we close one door the other one opens.

jay bee:
@zezyahoo
Why did she leave?
I think it's better if you start a thread in the family section.

@zezyahoo, please do as @jay bee requests.

excoba101:
You had a ready made answer when you asked me to show you somewhere from bible.     ayaya  But i am not a religious man.

If you are a xstian your excuse above should not be enough reason to go to hell 

I asked for a quote in the bible but somehow I was refered to a whole chapter, now being a diplomat that I am I decided to dismiss the ommission and I obliged. Now having gone through the Chapter I can now safely say thank you sir I dont need your surname. Perhaps you can give to somebody that doesnt have one I am sorted on that front in fact you should consider yourself lucky that I come with a surname.

What a full package I am hey! stress free   

I am loving Ephesians 5 good news indeed.

DJA:
Study Ephesians 5 and you will see dat its d woman dat submits(which includes accepting his identity as yours)to d man,while the man is obliged to love his wife.Marriage is complete separation from both parents authority to accepting that of the head of d new union.

Are we talking about the same bible that said the human folk should not have intimacy before marriage Please look around you before you answer this question.

With that being said I am sure my christian brother's and sisters knows that Gawd will forgive me if I dont take your surname in marriage.

row2ray:
i remember when i was just finding my footing, my mom, sister and little brother warned me about the girl saying she would hurt me they all felt it, plus they said she wasnt as beautiful as my older girls. i said thats what i wanted till, i gave her money one day, went clubbing with my friend, and met her clubbing with my money, and a married man, i would have thought the married man was the hoocho footing the expenses but turned out he was a broke and lil he had went to his family, when i got mad about it she gave me attitude, we made up and gave her money again when she asked, this time she went to spend a week in a hotel with thesame guy!, my silly thing, hurt like a b!@#h

^^^Shuuuu, my sisters I love representing them but they have a way of letting me down, hey!

190:
[color=deeppink]^^
I kant remember what you said about

extra nice guys,

I am the very angry,violent type and strong like bull¬

You wont like me if you know me!!

But im damn fyne!![/color]

Fine suit yourself.

190:
[color=deeppink]^^
what you mean,

I am angry strong and violent!![/color]

Angry, strong and violent Nah! extra nice maybe, and remember what I said about the extra nice guys. LOL!!

DJA:
what then is the need to get joined wt your hubby as one and his help MEET,if u still carry your father's name.Lets be cautios of absorbing the goods n bads of this Western life.Little wonder families easily tear apart these days,because of no true identity.I love my wife beyond words n respect womenfolk alot,but that gives no room for compromise.QED.The Bible remans d final word for evry issue of life.

@DJA and excoba101 you guys need to send me a quote from the bible that says the surname is the glue of the marriage.

190:
[color=deeppink]Im handsome

Infact the most handsome here on nairaland

But not nice!![/color]

I think secretly you wish you were a mean person, but unfortunately you werent born like that. Stick to Mr nice guy its the all time sexy, and please pass the message to Mr~Cock

chiteny:
This is completely not the situation. You are out of track here. i remained me to her ever since till she told me she does not want to go into any relationship. And note that i had not started the job till after about month since she told me that.

To every on, ….and now the jist of what happened yesterday………. Get set.

Cool then, tell us what happened

@Theblessed, madam are you married

@OP Money always changes the situation unfortunately. Something you need to know is that there is never the right person only the right time and please write that down.

The next girl you are going to meet, with all the money you'll be making will be going around telling people how lucky she is to have found a man that is well and made or rather on his way to making it good. So now how does that make your current girl any different from the one you are yet to meet?

I say forget this relationship, there's already some resentments around it which I am sure you will never get over. Open another door and see what's in store for you.

Good luck!!!

You probably dont need to hear this, but please allow me to say it regardless, There's a lot of women who chose to be with men that had nothing, but as soon as the man started making a bit of money he dissapeared. You only have yourself to blame about this, sotheing tells me you started showing off and playing tricks now look where it got you.

Why did you love the woman in the first place Maybe the answer to this question might help you move forward.

High_Chief:
Them gals will tell u he is very handsome, even cripple wey get money is very sexy to women, they'll say he walks in a very sexy way

LOL! i Came in here to say something different, but then I saw this reply I had to stop and laugh helplessly.

Anyway, good people could we tell our ugly sisters to stop being so mean. For real, ugly sisters are the meanest people you can find.

I agree ugly and broke ass guys tend to be extra nice. Other than that I find that most guys with big pockets are arrogant and you dont have to be a pretty or ugly bouy to master the art, its just that with men money changes the situation.

Okay @excoba101, I am out tomorrow then

excoba101:
@SA QUEEN

I CAN SEE THAT THOSE WRITE UP TORCHED YOU. MEN FAIL EVERYDAY WE KNOW. BUT THEY SAY WHEN A WOMAN FAILS EVERYTHING (NATION) CRUMBLES BECAUSE SHE IS THE LIFESPAN. IT IS ONLY WOMEN THAT CAN RUIN AND REBUILD THIS WORLD.

TALKING ABOUT INDIVIDUALITY- REALLY I COULDN'T REALLY UNDERSTOOD HOW TO DIGEST WHAT YOU MEANT BY THAT IF IT DOESN'T MEAN THE SAME AS EQUALITY (IN PRETENSE).

LOL! @emboldment, not at all, its just that I believe its about time people are left to their own opinions and to what works in thier own world, without being mocked. I have so many mistakes and am an imperfect person, so because of that I wouldnt want to judge another person. There's a thin line between right and wrong, just as long as we dont harm, offend and box each other in the process.

excoba101:
==============================================================================
most feminists and women's groups want there to be a permanent gender war. Without such a war, they would evaporate into thin air
==================================================================================

Indeed, most feminists and women's groups want there to be a permanent gender war. Without such a war, they would evaporate into thin air, because there would be no reason for them to exist. Most feminists and women's groups need to maintain an inter-gender war in order to generate their support and their funding, and also to maintain their positions of power as well as their jobs. And the more power, resources and jobs that they wish to cling on to, the greater must be the inter-gender war that they need to stimulate.

Indeed, anything that undermines - or makes more insecure - the special nature of close heterosexual relationships is something that feminists will always support and encourage.

Whether it is supporting same-sex marriage (to undermine traditional marriage) getting women out to work, paying women welfare to encourage relationship break-ups, forever urging women to feel abused in some way and to prosecute their partners, unjustly high alimony payouts, demonising or mocking men, encouraging lesbianism, the aim is the same. Make it as difficult as possible for men and women to have secure relationships. Disempower men within those relationships as much as possible, and ensure that when relationships break up then the men lose out the most.

In conclusion; feminism is not about equality. It is about stirring up hatred towards men; no matter what the true situation is.

And because 'equality' can never be achieved, this stirring up of hatred towards men seems set to go on and on and on; unless, that is, feminists are utterly discredited and exposed for who they really are.

And if you take the time to look very closely at what underpins, energises and unites feminists, you will find that there is only one emotion lying at the core of their beliefs - a very strong desire to stir up hatred towards men.

Indeed, you do not even need to read the various outpourings of the feminists in order to figure out what their views will be on any given matter. Just ask yourself this simple question: "What would my views be if I hated men and if I wanted to stir up this hatred in others?" And your answer to this question will almost certainly be consistent with what most feminists are actually saying.

Finally, take a look at this short piece to see what 'benefits' feminism brings to those societies that advocate it; The Benefits of Feminism. It won't take much intelligence to make the connections for yourselves.

Dont read me wrong, my argument is not so much about equality which I wouldnt have a problem representing either. My argument is more on individuality. May I ask why is it that its so important to you that you are superior than the other gender, and that the world should recognise that?

Seriously I have no problem giving a man that status, simply because of how I see myself, I have no desire to have an upper hand over a man nor another human being, however its important that you know how to carry it day after day and this where most men fail and then want to hide behind issues of tradition.

Please allow me to add this, that whether a woman wants to bed another women that should be left up to the individual. I really dont care in fact i think its good for a women to get together for once and do their own thing without any mans interference

excoba101:
However, it is only allowed to keep your last name on professional grounds. But marriage? Sorry No way. It's the tradition and there is no changing it.
Look well before you marry. I mean should this be a matter for discussion? What has taken a man's name got to do you women mistake in choosing partner?

The question is for you SA LADY

Sadly just when I thought the age thing went with my forefathers only to discover it still lives among us. It turns out that no one really cares that some people will find a good partner without a long and hard search, and some may have found and lost along the way. Unless if almost really counts. By the looks of things its best if I can grab whatever it is I can find, dont make noise about my opinion on the surname just do as tradition says (change the surname if you know what's good for you) because I might loose out on a great marital opportunity. Lets be honest with ourselves that every man/women marry because somehow they believe they've found a good thing, and how many out there would tell you about how it all changed?

Unfortunately again I am gobsmacked at how much men have actually made peace with the fact that women only love yhem for what they can provide, its a very sad state of self perception. My question back at you "What does being a good partner have to do with the surname"?

excoba101:
Lady will you make you question clear?

If you were to sum up what you just said in one sentence, what would it say? Make your next sentence your conclusion if you dont mind.

excoba101:
Are you too feminist to see that the parable was stated in figurative slang? Last and least here, besides the fact that a man and a woman can never be equal in all sense is another fact that humans in general can never be equal. There is a divine force behind it.

There are somethings that can never be changed, but the fight to make a change of these things make life interesting(in a way) which include the feminist ideology/theory. The list is endless. We still have other things to fight about. Why cant man marry man and why can't women marry women. Why do women need men and vise vasa. Why do we die? I think you know the rest of them. Anything that has no natural back ground will certainly not stand

You complained about why having rights without being able to practice it. If you can answer this question then it will be easy to really achieve your feminist dream. The these feminist leaders are often politically minded it will be ok if i use a political panorama to make examples and questioning.

Q. why in the world of one or some countries must be more powerful than the other (ruler-ship) not changing (which is symbolic)
Q. why is it that when countries are giving freedom, they are yet wallowing in the declivity of their a slave's mentality and the freedom given isn't real.

Dude what are you on about

Sagamite:
Hey, babes, maybe you did not say it but your utterances come across as someone of that genre.

Let me give you an insight of the personality profile you have oozed to me since I noticed you when you refused to hate me for my own benefits :

You come across as a young African-originated girl raised in the West and who has strongly assimilated into the Western culture. The only thing African about you is your heritage and colour, not your outlook and personality.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that is bad or inferior.

I see you as someone in the sphere of creativity and the arts. This normally manifest as personalities with uber-liberal outlook and in desire of changes to the inhibitives at all cost without deep analytical consideration for wider consequences. Someone who wants to express their freedom as much as they can and this is one of the cores of happiness in their existence. The ability to live life uninhibited and unbridled.

Living where you live, you will not run out of enough fuel to pump and reinforce such outlook.

As I said, I would not say it is bad or inferior to the African way, but all ways have their pros and cons. And my judgement (maybe wrong) is that you are so impressed and enmeshed in the Western outlook with a lot of pride and defiance and with very limited rebuttal of the cons. I personally take pros from each side I am exposed to (West and African). On some things, I am very African and don't mind being called a Bushman, and on others, I am so Western they would say I have lost my roots.

The thing I particularly spot about you, unlike most other NL chics I have seen with such enmeshment, is that I don't think you are likely to change when you grow older. Most are just fronting and would change when they get a few knocks in life but you . . . . ? 

Let me tell you here and now, Feminism has failed!!! You have to keep your ear to the ground and sense the atmosphere, there is a rising rubble of admittance even amongst women that it is not realistic, desirable and/or sustainable. That said, do not for a second think I am one to condemn the awareness, change and benefits feminism has achieved in bringing equality, independence and appreciation for women. I applaud it without reservation but the ideology that some feminists want to bring which refuses to acknowledge the difference between men and women I laugh at. The plenary implementation of that ideology would not make most women feel fulfilled or happy because of the rudimentary and fundamental difference in women's biological make-up and that is increasingly being acknowledged if one follows the intellectual debates in the news. My perception of you is you are one of the proponents of the plenary implementation.

I fear (maybe I need not worry though) that you are way too enmeshed in your line of liberal and extreme feminism which will lead to you having only a limited number of men that you can successfully be with. You will really have to select carefully as most men might not appreciate what you currently offer, and which I suspect will be your main offer in the future, even though they might tell you they do or don't care or they like it.

I know you might say "I don't need a man, I am happy being single" and I believe you, you are young and still in your prime. BUT as you get older, that statement will be less true. But, hey, maybe you are also right and telling the truth, but that will make you one of the very rare exceptions of women (I admit some do exist) because biologically, women do desire and seek meaningful companionship. That is their general biological make-up. I say general because there is usually an exception to a general rule, maybe you are that.

That said, considering the line of argument of excoba101 so far, you must be retarded as a woman if you want to be with him. I am in no way advocating you switch to the other extreme.

^^^hhhhmmmmmm!!! Patronizing, condescending and cocky is all I have to say about this write up. So @Saga it turns out only you are entiitled to pick and choose what makes sense about your africanism and the likes of @Inkerd_Nerd dont have that priviledge lest they run into a risk of being called ferminists. Whatever happened to individualism??. I thought this was the call to evolution.

Please allow me to ask you this question "WHATS LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?" especially if bearing a man's surname in 2010 is apparently connected to all the things his money can buy me? that house he can buy for his family, the bills he should pay and heavy objects that needs to be carried. This is worrysome. So ultimately it boils down to the name??. So this man wants me to carry his name to prove to him how much I love him??, didnt I do that already when I agreed to marry him, I mean as if that wasnt bad enough.

I know a lot of women today who signed on the dotted line just to carry the name and today they have horror stories to tell, let alone those who chose to take the secret with them six feet under, and I am sure there's plenty who'll tell beautiful stories. Now with that being said please allow me to ask "WHAT'S THE NAME GOT TO DO WITH IT?"

I think the trick is in being at peace with oneself, this is when you learn that the world and no man/woman owes you nada. My advice stop doing things for women and see how rewarding that is, it works very well against resentments. The culture/tradition is LOVE, try it and discover how truely liberating that is.

@Inkerd_Nerd you are no more nor less of a woman because of your age or the artsy fartsy woman in you. and yes you will find the man who just couldnt be bloody bothered what surname you carry around. Question is are you willing to be a partner that is going to be there through thick and thin. The thing is, this is where much about the surname situation changes. Most women really wish they never changed the name when times got thin and ugly.

I am all for ABSOLUTE LOVE it would've been great if it was just about that, no contracts and surnames attached period. Now I dare you to label that ferminism, which I am by the way. But I am sorry to dissapoint you and say you will not find my ferminist thought in my surname nor yours just in case you were rushing to search there.

yorke:
Recharged her fone with #500. she only called 2 thank me(with 20secs).Mumu me still send another #500crdit 2 her all in d name of love.Felt 4 d wrong person.

hahhahhahaaa! sounds like you still doing it and somehow you cant stop yourself. This got me laughing for real. So what's the way forward in case you are still doing this? M rolling on the floor with laughter right now

hhhmmmmm!!!!!!

MzDarkSkin:
^^white people do not age good. You should know that by now

^^^ Damn man that is so wrong in so many ways, first of all he's suppose to be the PRINCE right? meaning he's suppose to be perfect. Nothing should go wrong with the PRINCE. I blame my mom for all the fairytales she sold me.

She told me stories about a prince that's tall dark and handsome with a THICK LOCK, now how will she explain this

I feel duped

MzDarkSkin:
I dated this one guy from Sierra Leone who was verbally abusive and had another girl at the same time (we both knew of and in a weird way "accepted" each other) and out of "love", naive 18 year old me still cooked and cleaned for him. I even cleaned his apartment and got it ready so it would look neat for the other girl when she was coming to visit. I will explain: He asked me to do it under the pretense that he liked my interior decorative style but I knew it was because she was going to be there, I called myself making a sacrifice. There was A LOT that I did for that guy that I feel so dumb about, I think about it a lot and it makes me laugh and cry. He was not attractive and had the smallest manhood EVER (which was why he was so miserable lol) but I had just gotten my heart broken by the guy who took my virginity and he happened to be there to console me so we called ourselves becoming a couple and he turned into a monster. It was more for emotional connection than love on my part because I really was not attracted to the guy as I stated. We broke up in 2007 but boooooy two years after the break up when we met again, I let him HAVE IT! I grew up quick after the break up so when he saw me and tried to act like it was all good, I made that dude feel like schit when I was done with him.

^^^Give me high five!! good for you girl.

excoba101:
Like i said you go out there and do what you like. Also wait for the hard consequences. You see because of controversies and conflicts in agreement like this, that is why there are law which forms the basic standard of how we should live and going against it is a sin or crime. What is in your law about these things you argue about? Why were they written that way and not the other way round (which suits your line of reasoning now).
Talk is free. You can say anything you want. But you don't want to be caught doing everything you think or feel, do you (might not end up good you know)? 

^^^Legend of doom. Talk about dark angels man. @Inked_Nerd I rest my case its recommemded.

Mr~Cork:
Myne White, madam so are u sayin a woman wearin thongs helps a marraige to privent divorce?

Coz me not understand your grammar!

^^^ please dont start.

@OP Talk to the man first, and if he persists drop him and no warning this time.

^^^Wow seems I missed out, interesting thread indeed.

Inked_Nerd:

So, we're property eh? Sounds more like a business transaction rather than a marriage.

^^^Thanks, I was about to say the same thing, sounds more like business transaction ala obsession you know.

^^^Oh well, wish they lasted longer though.

Guys is the Prince loosing hair at 28 Please check the second pic, my eyes could be deceiving me.