₦airaland Forum

sunny t: I beg your pardon, 32 is not late for a woman. Why put unnecessarry pressure on them for God's sake.

If you look around you, there are more unmarried ladies in their early 30s. Pls dnt put pressure on them, pls.

Thank you

Me put pressure on women? How? Am I the person that discovered that menopause is occurring earlier? Is Google not there? My own Mom had her menopause before age 40 so I know what I am saying. Because of her experience, we encourage girls in my family to think of settling early
The issue is that people adopt a carefree attitude in their younger days, waste their time in unhealthy relationships and hope that somehow, every detail of their life will miraculously fit into place.
If this topic encourages introspection, all well and good.

orgasticdance: In fifty years would you also be thankful that u made it to the grave before ur sis?

What's the link? Will marrying earlier than her sister kill her?

megareal: You jump to conclusions. Unfortunately for you, I am married. And no, I didn't marry cos everyone was doing it, I got married when I realised those things I mentioned. FYI, I've never considered marriage as an achievement and I still don't. If I hadn't gotten what I wanted, I wouldn't have settled for less no matter the pressure. Its high time the African society let the singles be. Not everyone is meant to marry nor marry early.

Why is it unfortunate for me that you're married? Please go back and read my first contribution and then read what you just wrote.Did I, by any chance, give the reasons you just gave as reasons to get married? Did I say you should marry because everyone is doing that, or that it will be considered an achievement?
Or are those really your underlying reasons for marrying?
The reasons I raised are personal (health, bonding with spouse and kids) not social.
Another unsolicited advice: be sure you have read and understood a topic so that you can make very useful contributions

Sorry
Double post

obitrac: Thank God the op put 40 for men,am 30 and still flexing.maybe by 33 alarm go start ring and then I will go back to dat fine young ibo yÉllow sÍsi dat has a charming smile anÐ À soothing voicÉ to ask for hÈr hand Ín marriÀge.Dat gal makes sense die

You think she will wait for you for 3 years? Na only ur eye dey see fine thing?
Don't worry. Just dey flex dey go. She will soon invite you to her wedding

africanrapper: What's this nonsense about Early/Late Marriage? What's more important - the Marriage itself or the time it is contracted? Is it better to rush into Marriage with the wrong person or wait a little while to find the right person?

My father got married at the age of 35, my mother 26. 14 years after Marriage, they got split. They are still divorced till today. If they had waited a little longer, would they not have known that they were not compatible with each other?

This Nonsense has to stop. Everyday, people keep asking me "Uche, when will you get Married?" "Uche, how is your wife?" (they know I'm not married, but are always prodding me even though I've made it abundantly clear that it's not time yet.). Even my mom is not left in this game - always asking me when I'm going to bring home a girl.

For God's sake, I just started my business a few years ago. I need to solidify. I need to get emotionally and financially stable before I can think of Marriage.

After all the ish I've suffered in my Life, wouldn't it would be worse if I cannot guarantee a better standard of Life for my kids - simply because I was too eager (unnecessarily so, if I might add) to get married? Worse yet, what if I get hooked to the wrong person?

abeg, make una stop all these Early Marriage tinz.

A friend of mine who got married in 2009 (he was only 26 by then) is busy asking people for Feeding money. In fact, most people in my fellowship now literally hate him - because he's always bugging them with financial demands. Who tell am to marry when him never mature?

Now, he's sent his wife back to her Father's house so he can recuperate (I use the word recuperate because that decision of marrying at that age when you can barely feed yourself is a sick one). He is still owing me 40k - money he borrowed from me for his wife's medical bills in 2011. You guys want me to suffer what this guy is going through? Una plan no go work - lai lai.

I will wait till I am capable of raising a family, before I do that.

Enough said.

#africanrapper

I have a brother-in-law that used to rap like you. He eventually married at 49!
At almost 70years, he has a 10+ daughter whom people naturally assume is his grand-daughter. He has sworn that his son must marry at 25. It is so embarrassing that while his mates are inviting him for their children's weddings, he is buying JSS 1 books

mygirrl: Did Paul in the bible marry? was Elijah a married man, what of Samson. did you ever see any verse in the bible where it was mentioned that they were single and unhappy. You have a very very funny mentality. Instead of thinking of how to make a change in the world before you hit 30 (that's if you are not over 30) you are here making noise about marriage. That's how some people will read this your nonsense and put themselves under unnecessary pressure to please people in the society like you

Why are you sooooo angry?
I was just talking to those that wish to get married, not those who have taken an oath to celibacy.
How to change the world? I am already doing it in my little way with this post: advising people.

Hope to hear your name (remember to add your real name) when you do change the world before 30. no mockery, please!
I sincerely wish you the very best in life. And please, don't feel any pressure to modify your life dream because of what you read in an anonymous forum.

Go go bright girrrrrrl!

africanrapper: What's this nonsense about Early/Late Marriage? What's more important - the Marriage itself or the time it is contracted? Is it better to rush into Marriage with the wrong person or wait a little while to find the right person?

My father got married at the age of 35, my mother 26. 14 years after Marriage, they got split. They are still divorced till today. If they had waited a little longer, would they not have known that they were not compatible with each other?

This Nonsense has to stop. Everyday, people keep asking me "Uche, when will you get Married?" "Uche, how is your wife?" (they know I'm not married, but are always prodding me even though I've made it abundantly clear that it's not time yet.). Even my mom is not left in this game - always asking me when I'm going to bring home a girl.

For God's sake, I just started my business a few years ago. I need to solidify. I need to get emotionally and financially stable before I can think of Marriage.


Let me join your mother in asking "Uche,when will you get married?"

But seriously, you're not marrying for anybody. Your parents' marriage may not have crashed because of their age. Men far younger than your dad and women far younger than your Mom have happy homes. Marriages crash for so many reasons. Find out why theirs crashed and avoid making same mistakes.
I wish you the best of luck!

After all the ish I've suffered in my Life, wouldn't it would be worse if I cannot guarantee a better standard of Life for my kids - simply because I was too eager (unnecessarily so, if I might add) to get married? Worse yet, what if I get hooked to the wrong person?

abeg, make una stop all these Early Marriage tinz.

A friend of mine who got married in 2009 (he was only 26 by then) is busy asking people for Feeding money. In fact, most people in my fellowship now literally hate him - because he's always bugging them with financial demands. Who tell am to marry when him never mature?

Now, he's sent his wife back to her Father's house so he can recuperate (I use the word recuperate because that decision of marrying at that age when you can barely feed yourself is a sick one). He is still owing me 40k - money he borrowed from me for his wife's medical bills in 2011. You guys want me to suffer what this guy is going through? Una plan no go work - lai lai.

I will wait till I am capable of raising a family, before I do that.

Enough said.

#africanrapper

Let me join your mother in asking "Uche, when will you get married?"

On a serious note, your parents' marriage may not have crashed because of their age. At the age they married, they couldn't be considered too young. Find out why they didn't get on and avoid the same mistakes.

You're not marrying for anybody, just for yourself.

I wish you luck!

mygirrl: Abeg! lemme hear word. If I listen ti people like you I will end up unhappy and depressed. There is a time for everything, not every girl will marry at the age of 22. There is more to life than chasing after marriage. being happy is what counts the most and there is no guarantee that marriage will bring happiness

Hear word? please hear word! Don't marry till 50! That is if you choose to marry at all. Single and happy? Those two words don't always go together. Even crying is sweeter when someone cries with you. And joy is doubled when it is shared!
Marriage doesn't guarantee happiness but crying alone is worse

annast: Not every woman is concerned about having her own child. I have never, ever, sat to imagine or visualize what it would be like to have my own child. I try to think about it but it is a thought that has never taken root. I honestly and sincerely don't care. Born and raised in Naija, I used to be worried and wouldn't even mention that I don't care so much about having my own kids, but now I am at a place where I say, "it's who I am, why should I try to please anybody or society?" I am in my early thrities and happily single. Most of my married friends and family members are miserable. They all married early. I am fufilled career-wise and affecting lives positively. Whenever it's time to go home, I will leave knowing that I contributed immensely towards making my world a better place. If I find a man who will make me happy along the way, and add positive values and peace to my life, sure, why not. But if not, I will never, ever marry for the sake of having children - NEVER. For now, I am so focused on making the best out of my life. If I get older I could adopt a lovely girl and make someone's life better. Otherwise, I am introverted, keep to myself most of the time and work, work, work and work. Being a person of strong faith in God helps as well.

All well and good for now. Please bookmark this and read it to yourself when you're 65years and seeing your friends fussing over their kids and adorable grandkids

megareal: It is topics like this that inadvertently sends our young men and women rushing into the arms of Mr or Mrs wrong just to feel among, while some will go home to commit suicide or get morose and curse God over their fate which may likely not be their fault. As far as I'm concerned, anyone should get married when they (a)feel like it, (b)have accomplished some initial set goals and (C) have met the right person. Don't rush into marriage cos everyone is. While the other person will be dancing Azonto out of marital happiness, you may be crying an ocean because of the partner you married. To each his own, we should stop convincing people that its only our views that can be termed right. There is nothing like early or late marriage, its only right or wrong marriage.

Sorry if this post makes you to feel like committing suicide or to rush into the arms of the next available person. That wasn't the intention at all. I saw a post where somebody wrote on the disadvantages of early marriage. Instead of e-quarrelling with him/her, I responded with this.

My unsolicited advice to you is to set realistic goals esp about finances. Don't wait to make it before you find that special person. Many people actually achieve more financially as a couple than they ever did as individuals. Talk of the law of synergy! Money is important, but relationships sustain life.

kollytin: yes u're right I saw a woman @45 she gave birth. So 4get @35 menopause starts!

For every one 40 year old woman who gives birth are 5 others desperately trying to be pregnant

mygirrl: I see alot of crap on this website. women who give birth when they are 35, 40 even in their late forties nko. some people will see this and start putting pressure on themselves on top this marriage matter

mygirrl, please say "yes" to the young man knocking at your door ! Don't wait to have a child in your 40s. It's not good for your health!

That's the purpose of this thread. MARRY YOU HEAR?

Orikinla: I love weddings.
Just invite me to come and eat your wedding cakes and even chance your bridesmaids.

My younger brother is wedding this weekend.
I wish him and his bride happy married life.
But I am still a happy single and the freedom of free love is WOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!

Congrats to your brother and his bride!

Soon you'll have nephews and nieces that will call you good Old, Uncle Orikinla!

Walexy96: What is the essence of early marriage which your kids suffer than church rat ? I will continue to work till am satisfy of my financial status, beside I don suffer for this life and I can't see my kids to suffer the way I do. God forbid. When money come, marriage will follow because love and money always walk hand in hand.

Who told you kids born to a 30year old father will suffer? You'll all grow together. When money comes, true and lasting love will be difficult to find. Only fair weather friends on an eating spree. You may wait till you're 70 and your kids won't be happy to show anybody that you're their father. They won't want you to come to their school's PTA for shame or introduce you as granpa or an ancient uncle.

[quote author=samm_miey]my papa is late 70 and juz got his little wife pregnant a couple of months ago,as a matter of fact d woman is currently at d verge of delivery now!!Hence,makes my conviction validated dt men poke punny til eternity no shaking.[/quote]Please do a DNA test on your dad's baby! The truth may shock you!

Orikinla: [size=28pt]AKAMU.
There is nothing like late marriage in the Holy Bible.
Jacob first first marriage was at 47 and second marriage at 54.

AND YOU DON'T NEED TO MARRY TO HAVE CHILDREN.
COMPREHEND?[/size]

I hope you plan to beat Jacob's record. By all means, marry at 60years. Just remember that his generation lived for 140 years. So a 47year old was a rollicking young man. Life expectancy in your country is..........

Or you plan to make babies without marrying their mother? Is that the type of home you come from?
Will you raise your children without having a proper family set up?

By late marriage, I mean 32 years for the woman and 40years for the man.

The disadvantages are numerous
1. For a lady: menopause now starts earlier. I don't know whether to blame it on dietary habits or environmental factors, women now experience menopause earlier; some as early as 35. Women who marry late panic and fret about having children. Their anxiety can also delay achieving pregnancy. Women over 35 also miscarry easily and experience more complications during delivery.
Again when women don't marry early, (from 22) they become so fearful at the prospect of becoming spinsters that they abandon the search for Mr Right and accept any Mr Available. Desperation can lead to wrong choice and failed marriage.
When a lady is made career-wise, men get scared of her. they feel an inherent sense of inferiority. Those that muster the courage may be seen by her as gold diggers and opportunists. Better to marry when you can get genuine love and grow with the person than wait to be on the begging end.

2. For the men: whether Nigerian men like it or not, male fertility also reduces with age. Blame it on diet and lifestyle. The men also get desperate to have children and may be tempted to have kids outside marriage.
Getting the love of your life is also more difficult if you are already "made". It is when you're nobody that you can tell who loves you and not just who came because of money.
If you're already comfortable, the girls may fight to get your attention, making the selection of wife material very difficult.

Marrying at an older age means you can't connect with your children because of generational gap. You will be analogue and your kids will be digital.

You risk making a young wife a widow. You pay school fees with pension money.

Dear readers, do you agree?
If you do, add other disadvantages of late marriage

18 million? How did he arrive at this figure?
Who carried out the research? There are different types of lies: lies, white lies and statistics.

Nigeria has enough problems already. Don't frighten us the more with these guesstimates.

Ucheosefoh: Another thread that have been on frontpage b4, what is wrong with the mods this night? Somebody must be high on something this night

Don't be angry na. Some of us who recently joined NL are seeing and reading it for the first time.

I admire her family's courage. I would've been scared of keeping such a strange child.

mosquitoNet: Chai! For inside church? Na waaaaah for this xxxtians o! Without any respect for the man (jesus)they call god. Na soso party dem dey party for church, a times they even f*ck choir chicks chai! Pastor gaan no dey carry last. I tire ooo!!!!

MosquitoNet, wedding receptionS are not done inside the church. Weddings are solemnised in church but receptions take place elsewhere. A church is a place of prayer, not party.
Don't insult Jesus. You'll meet Him as Judge eventually

For some women, PhD stands for Pikin Husband Degree or Push Husband Down.

On a serious note, you must outline your priorities and career goals. If you are thinking of development work with a lot of consulting opportunities, a PhD gives you an edge. It is a huge intellectual investment in the long run. But as for ROI (Return on Investment) in the short run, it may not be the path to stupendous wealth

Job Announcement

JOB TITLE: Teacher Trainer

ORGANIZATION: Discovery Channel Global Education Partnership (DCGEP) is a non-profit organization committed to narrowing the growing information gap between developing and developed countries by providing communities with technology, training, and educational programming. Visit www.discoveryglobaled.org for more information.

LOCATION: Warri and Yenagoa, Nigeria

PRIMARY FUNCTION: The Teacher Trainer will work with DCGEP Nigeria team to develop and implement the DCGEP Learning Center project, including supervising project sites, and providing teacher training and project monitoring in selected schools. The Teacher Trainer will be responsible for coordinating Global Education Partnership meetings and activities at their primary post, and in other parts of Nigeria as may be necessary. Periodically, the Trainer may need to represent the DCGEP to donor contacts, government officials and other organizations.
The position will report directly to DCGEP Country Representative in Nigeria.
DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES: Provides training, monitoring, and mentoring to teachers and others at DCGEP selected schools (called Learning Centers); assists schools in outreach to the communities and helps coordinate community involvement at Learning Centers; provides coordination among any additional DCGEP trainers at post and possibly elsewhere in Nigeria.
• Undertake DCGEP training on the use of media in the classroom.
• Work with local education administrators and school officials to adapt DCGEP’s training strategy for schools and provide DCGEP training and support to teachers and other trainers for two to three years at each project site
• Supervise the adaptation of DCGEP’s teacher resource guides to Nigerian educational standards
• Assist teachers in connecting video material to local curricular objectives
• Monitor the use of video programming in Learning Centers and evaluate progress of teachers in each DCGEP Learning Center
• Provide recommendations from teachers and students for new video programming to be produced by DCGEP. Review and provide feedback to HQ regarding all videos in production, including program content, scripts and resource guides to ensure appropriateness. (Technical knowledge of video production is not necessary).
• Maintain regular communication with and evaluate project progress in each Leaning Center.
• Develop strategies for enhancing community use of the Learning Center and work with each school to maximize community benefit of the resources
• Develop training schedules and reports for use in DCGEP and donor communications.
• Coordinate and set up arrangements for meetings between DCGEP and other stakeholders
• Maintain regular communication with DCGEP headquarters in the United States
• Supervise other trainers if necessary as the project grows, including coordinating all training and monitoring activities.
• Perform a variety of tasks as necessary to support the project in Nigeria

EDUCATION/EXPERIENCE: University degree in Education is required, or a Bachelors degree in any other discipline plus a Teacher’s College diploma is acceptable. Masters in Education is preferred, and a Ph.D in Education is desirable. A minimum of three years teaching and/or training experience and an understanding of the educational priorities and basic education curriculum in the state of interest is essential.

SKILLS & REQUIREMENTS: The candidate for the Teacher Trainer position must be a Nigerian. Strong English written and verbal communication skills, excellent interpersonal skills and training ability are required. Teaching experience is a must; intimate knowledge of the education system is required, including policies and processes in Nigeria. Candidate must have ability to work effectively with teachers and communities at the local level. S/he must be able to use Microsoft Word and Excel software effectively, and to be able to communicate on a regular basis with international teams by internet and email.

The candidate must be willing to travel periodically for extended periods of time and to work with the Partnership for the minimum period of three years during the project’s life cycle. Disciplined management of business-related finances (including budget development and expense reconciliation) is required.

COMPENSATION: This is a project-based appointment. The term of the appointment ends at the close of the project, unless there is a renewal. The remuneration is negotiable based on candidate’s experience.

Preference will be given to candidates whose life and work experience demonstrate a commitment to improving the quality of education and the quality of life of others.

CONTACT INFORMATION: Only qualified applicants may submit their curriculum vitae and references. In addition, the candidate's cover letter should describe how his /her educational and professional experiences meet job requirements. Send all applications by Feb 14, 2013 to: dcgepwarri@gmail.com.


Ms. Jessica Lowden
DCGEP Program Officer

Don't know what to say.
The father was doubting whether a 5 year old child was a virgin?
Where is nagoma and maclatunji to educate us?

more roads and buildings, FEWER PEOPLE!

where are the people?

I was in Gombe during Goje's regime. Long before BH
Empty town! Very very empty! Travelling from Borno to Gombe raises serious questions on the real population of the North. The state capitals look empty and the countryside is deserted. I don't know where they get the high populations they post as census figures. The only densely populated town in the North is Kano.

These pix are nice but I doubt if they are representative. This must just be the capital

Metallurgist: Ur ancestors hav been marrying girls less than 14yrs for god knows how long and see nothing wrong with it. Then the white master said it should be 18yrs, but check a century back in history and see how the white master marries girls as young as 11 yrs and see nothing wrong with it,

You're right. They didn't know any better a century ago. But now they know it leads to VVF and child abuse and they have changed with the times. But people like you choose to live as people did a century ago and that is why we see this horror tale. A young child of 14 has been robbed of her innocence and childhood and at 16 when her mates are dreaming of entering a university, she is to be labelled a divorcee.

That sounds wonderful to you, not so?

So Shettima knows the leaders of BH!
I thought it was universally agreed that GEJ armed BH and sent them to destroy the North while the entire Northern leadership watched helplessly and hopelessly?
Shettima should be hailed as a hero who finally took the bull by the horns to do what the FG couldn't do, right?
I don't want to curse or abuse anybody. If not....

A near-death experience is a phenomenon in which a person's physical body ceases to have any signs of life, and the soul detaches from the body and begins what could be called the journey into the afterlife. The descriptions are the same: a long tunnel of light begins to appear, angels or devils appear etc What's so phenomenal is that the descriptions people give, no matter what culture, no matter what background, match the ancient descriptions from various cultures. So if these experiences were in fact made up or hallucinatory, somebody did a very good job of getting that information out to multiple cultures at the same time.

Two people close to me just had this experience which reinforces my belief that there is heaven somewhere. Both were actually clinically dead, with absent heartbeat and no spontaneous respiration. And yet when they shouldn't have any conscious remembering at this time, they do and came back to tell us stories of those/what they saw.

Have you or someone close to you had a near death experience? Please share

[quote author=money-hungry ]pls like My comment in order to encourage me.... it is my first time to comment. thanks[/quote]From your handle, you're not only money-hungry but like-hungry.

Which one do you prefer?

LACA: HOW MANY OF YOU RAINING INSULTS AND CURSES ON THE GOVERNOR ARE TRULY ABIAN?HOW MANY HAS DONE ANY POSITIVE THING TO ASSIST THE GOVERNMENT IN PLACE SINCE YOU ALL CLAIM HE ISNT DOING WELL?WHERE WERE YOU ALL WHEN SCAVENGING AND KIDNAPPING WAS THE ORDER OF THE DAY?I GUESS YOU ALL FLED FROM THE STATE...I JUST WANT US TO KNOW THAT THOUGH HE IS NOT THE MANDELA OF TODAY HE IS FAR MORE GREATER THAN THE MANDELA OF TODAY IF GIVEN THE RIGHT SUPPORT AND PRAYERS....I AM A CORE ABIAN AND WILL REMAIN A TRUE ONE WHOEVER WISHES TO INSULT ME DIRECTLY FOR MY COMMENTS CAN CALL 08126814461 AND I WILL STILL SPEAK THE WAY I HAVE SPOKEN..LONG LIVE ABIA....

Bro, instead of asking us to insult you on the phone, why not save your hero's image by posting some of the great and wonderful things he has done?
The only good thing that has happened in Abia is stopping kidnapping. I heard that FG, not Orji, did it.
I hear he hired a professional team of praise singers and thugs who go with him everywhere to keep those that want to stone him at bay. He Also bought over the State house of Assembly so they can't impeach him

I believe

1. That there is heaven and hell. I prefer to go through life believing this and living as tho they exist, die and find out that they don't really exist; than to go through life (80years most likely) believing they don't exist and wake up on the other side to see they exist.

2. That Christ said that the way is narrow and few they be that find it. Therefore, I would prefer to travel SO LIGHT (no doubtful things: tatoos inclusive) that I can slip through that narrow gate than carrying so much doubtful things that I hit the two doorposts and be barred from entering.

3. That your outward appearance is a reflection of your inner being. Others think the same way too, which is why we can think someone is a prostitute because she LOOKS like one. Of course she may not be one but I won't like my Christian integrity or testimony to be in doubt at any time. People should tell who and what I am. They could do so with the early Christians at Antioch.

4. That the heaven described in the Bible is soooooo beautiful that whatever price paid to enter it is cheap. Heaven is cheap at any price. Not that tatoo is even a price for me. Many people think like me: that those with tatoos are Thinking-Ahead-Deficient. It affects your perception in the work place and in many other civil engagements. Yet to hear of a bank MD with nose and tongue piercings.

5. That people think differently is immaterial. God will judge both the ACTION and INTENTION so judgement will be very personal.