₦airaland Forum

oloriooko: @ OP
madam so you think you are happy now abi? just wait a few more days and the truth will dawn on you.

and mr randy husband, you jolly that has refused to know home has given you the audacity to disrespect your wife and kids

even if you want to cheat on your wife don't you have enough sense to respect her and put her in her rightful position? if you cannot deal this way then stay off other gals and face your wife.

you have 4 kids already and you are still after some opeke outside abi, you must be a mumu, you no sabi play, you come enter field

The bolded is the kind of comment that irks me. The man can cheat on his wife, but do it with style? Is it not exactly what the wife is NOW doing? Is she not cheating and hiding it from the man because she respects him and their children? The man sleeps with several girls but she sleeps with only one man. Is there any right context for adultery?
Many people especially the men are screaming abomination and raining curses on her head. If the same scale is applied to you, will you stand?
Others think it's a cooked up story. I can understand that it's a husband's worst nightmare. Many husbands choose to believe that no matter what they do, their wives will remain faithful to them. If this story doesn't teach you anything, let it teach you that how you treat others is how you will be treated. Except that because of condemnations like this, many wives are far more discreet. Many women are sitting on secrets.
Society puts the woman under pressure and makes many vulnerable. Ask many wives who have in-laws who're screaming at them to conceive whether they're not tempted to try other men. Ask women who have philandering husbands whether other men don't toast them. Ask widows how many of them are widows indeed.
Husbands, love your own wives! The golden rule is still a wonderful yardstick: do unto others as you will like others to do to you! You want fidelity? Then give it.

bukatyne: @OP:

Please differentiate between a mindless brainless baby and a man matured enough to lead his family.

I am sure you will pat a child for stealing because his parents don't feed him properly.

I am waiting for the version of why a wife sleeps with the driver.

It sucks when the fathers of the land are portrayed as spineless, irresponsible nincompoops who must be held in by a lash ostensibly by a wife who may be several years younger than them. What is the quality of such a fellow as a husband who can sleep with just about anybody and blame it on wife, hormone, society? A person who cannot control his impulses (anger, arousal etc) is no better than a beast. Soon the instructions would include: wives, hide your purses lest you tempt the man to steal.
Please don't disparage the fathers, sons, husbands and brothers!
Bravo to all the faithful, dutiful and loving fathers, sons, husbands and brothers!

[quote author=32-D][size=18pt]where ur own inheritance??[/size][/quote]My father died and this is what I inherited
1. A black and white TV
2. A lantern
3. A mattress with holes
4. A half-eaten loaf of bread
5. A rusted fridge
You want the list to continue?



Just kidding!


@topic, I admire the women who made their fortune by hardwork as well as those who inherited wealth and expanded it. Many businesses in Nigeria have succession issues

biafranqueen: You can not comb natural hair like a weave. You must start at tip and work down. Thank God I have not permed my hair since a teen and my daughter hair is natural. Your scalp is open pores lead directly to your blood stream if you would not eat it why would you put it on your body. Why will we continue to look at other cultures as more beautiful then our own. When I start going natural 13 years ago my own people were so harsh but when my hair reach waist they shut up I cut it 3 years ago all the way off again in Lagos as a tribute to my mothers passing and it is now to my shoulder if you pull it straight. I love being Natural no fake hair or nails for me 100% natural. What is so funny is that when I go out with friends with weaves white and black man gravitate towards me until they see my wedding ring. I get compliment on my hair almost everyday.

Please which hair products do you use? Every woman around me wants to go natural and still have easy-to-manage hair

I find several loopholes in your reasoning. I'm a Christian and have no apologies for being one.
1. You said the peace and tranquility is dependent on yourself. I say No. Jesus said "my peace I give you" and that God's peace passeth all understanding. Why? Becos the Christian believes that whatever happens to him is allowed by God for his good.
2. You said Jesus flowed with the current. Wrong! He showed anger when people didn't do things right, he wept at a burial and wept even more at His impending death in the Garden of Gethsemane
3. The applicability of your logic. Who loses a son and doesn't mourn?Whose house is burnt down and the fellow shrugs it off? Anything less doesn't make us human. When undesirable things happen, we go through the normal cycle of Shock, Anger, Rejection, Acceptance and Hope(SARAH). It is better for our eventual healing that we go through these phases.
My own recipe for peace and tranquility: a simple child-like faith in God who rules the universe and rules my world!

calebo101: Is it not better you ladies give the man no reason to cheat on you than to say men are cheats? Yes we know we can cheat but let the guilt be on us when we do it. If my wife lets the maid perform her roles then pronto i have concrete reasons to cheat and would feel no guilt whatsoever. my maid cooks for me, makes my bed, washes my clothes while my wife paints like jezebel and networks all day, me i go lash the maid oooo, that na sure banker. You like talk about morality, talk about dogs, to hell with those silly arguments. Funny how women talk at times, it is a man's world give or take. I cheat, you live the house, you cheat you still leave the house. period. just do your duties as a wife and i do my duties as a husband. I married you and not the maid so if the maid plays your role she should as well receive her reward. That's all.

Reward indeed! The point you're missing is that the maid is abused. This is one reason I won't encourage any sane mother giving out the daughter as a maid: she's usually a victim of so many abuses. And here, the man who subjects her to torture considers his actions as a "reward". Just consider for a second that your daughter, sister or close female relation gets these rewards
1. she's abused by a randy man who's old enough to be her dad or grand-dad. She loses her innocence
2. she's used as a toy in a hide-and-seek relationship where her fate in that family is hanging on the line
3. as she gets pregnant, because oga cannot own up, she must abort: repeatedly too, jeopardising her chances of ever being a Mom. Some have their wombs destroyed in the process
4. She gets pregnant and in one out of one hundred cases, the man makes her a second wife. No job, no voice. In fact it is considered a great privilege that she at 19 is sharing the bed of a 55year old man who may die of cardiac arrest and leave her and her young child a widow and less marriageable

MAIDS ARE SOMEBODY'S SISTERS, DAUGHTERS and close relatives. They are humans and should be treated with respect and dignity.

The men who don't cheat on their wives have the following values
1. they respect their bodies: AIDS is just one of numerous stds. Some men have such a regard for their bodies that they won't engage in any risky sexual behaviour
2. they fear God: they actually believe that adultery is sin and won't want to offend God
3. They respect their families: non-cheaters actually value their children's love and opinion and wouldn't like to indulge in anything that will cause their children to look down on them. Have you ever seen the grag-gra on the face of a married man accused of having illegitimate children? Non-cheaters love their wives and mothers very dearly.
4. They value their reputation and wouldn't destroy a child (a maid) who's been thrust into his care

What's my point? That cheating isn't a reaction to circumstances! It is a decision taken by a person independent of the surrounding circumstances. The only value of op's post is to tell wives not to furnish husbands who've already decided to cheat with EXCUSES to carry out the act

Just look at these figures

1. Vice President -North.
2. Senate President -North.
3. Speaker House of Reps – North.
4. PDP National Chairman – North.
5. Head of Service – North.
6. INEC Chairman – North.
7. Inspector General of Police – North.
8. CBN Governor – North.
9. Chief Justice of federation – North.
10. President Court of Appeal – North.
11. EFCC Chairman – North.
12. President Federal high court – North.
13. National Security Adviser – North.
14. Chief of Defense Staff – North.
15. Controller, Customs Service – North.
16. Controller Prison Services – North.
17. Richest man in Africa – North.
18. 85% of Petroleum Marketers in Nigeria – Northerners .
19. 80% of Oil Block Owners in Nigeria – Northerners.
20. 99% of beggars in Nigeria – Northerners
21. Boko Haram – North.
22. Anti-Biafra – Northerners.
23. Yet, the Poorest states in Nigeria and Educationally backward areas in Nigeria are in the North.
24. 8 former heads of state(Tafawa Balewa, Yakubu Gowon, Murtala Muhammad, Shehu Shagari, Buhari, IBB, Sani Abacha, Abdulsalam Abubakar)- North.
Now ASK yourself, who is the problem of the Northerners?

Billyonaire: Although there are no doubts that your friend encountered light energy beings on Astral Plane, what happened is that she met energy beings who share her common belief system before they passed on. As she advanced beyond the astral plane to higher frequency dimensions of existence, she will come to realize that she was just fed with the information she merited at that time. Human beings only receive communication from the higher energy beings based on their belief, as a means to climb the ladder into the higher level of knowledge. There is no confirmation what-so-ever that the person she met was Jesus, cos there are many cons out there than even on physical plane. In the end, all humans will realize that the quest for heaven is useless, cos its boring out there and we came here to learn the science of creation. I keep wondering why people wanna go to heaven, when physical plane offers more lessons that human souls need in the journey to co-creation with the Infinite Oneness.

And you're ready to stick your neck for this belief system even if it costs you eternity? I wish you well.
I am ready to stick with only what the BIble says whether you think me silly or not. Its messsage is simpler to understand and a whole lot more reliable than a transient metaphysical knowledge. I want to see angels not energy beings!

chief batiatus: U r rily dumb, so all the enlightened discoveries that have come out after ur hell theory does not help ur unstanding in anyway? So u haven't figured? We are already in hell my dear! Our part of hell is called NIGERIA! So there is no need going to another one!

I wish, for the sake of people like you, that what you wrote is true. You must be right that I'm really dumb but I am yet to see or read about the enlightened discoveries that prove with massive and conclusive evidence that there's no after-life. In fact, I see and read so much that strengthen my belief that these things are real.
Don't worry abt some of us that wish to err on the side of caution. Better to believe and live like there is heaven to gain and die with such hope than to keep denying and die and see that it is real. Better safe than sorry!

irokobest: the bible speaks about heaven,moon,stars, sea earth and their locations but the location of your so called hellfire which ought to be the reward of the unfaithfuls according to u cannot be located either in heaven, earth, nor under the earth. guy wake up, read ur bible well u 'll see that these fake pastors that are out for money had either realise therir error and stop preaching it or they now dumped it cos it is not a good marketing preaching to their devil given busness.

Do you have a Bible downloaded on ur phone? Go to search and type Hell. Can you see that I didn't invent the word, so no point ur saying my so-called hell.
That you don't believe in a thing doesn't make it less real. Some folks don't still agree that AIDS is real until....
I preach and teach that there is eternal heaven and hell. I am not fake, I am not a pastor and I am not after your money. Keep the money to urself. I am just delivering a message: warn you that there is hell!

manmustwac: Am not religious but am very curious to know where you got the information that your friend was refused entry to Heaven.

She TOLD me. She's still alive and has been sharing her experiences. Her testimony is even on Nairaland. The thread is called "Let the saints get ready". She's not alone. Another woman of Anglican background has also had similar experience where Jesus was condemning the worldliness entering His church.
Heaven is a holy place. You can't just believe what you like, act how you like, dress how you like and still hope to go and live eternally with an orderly(not lawless) holy God.

[quote author=Omo_Tier1]In your mind, you really think Jesus when He appears, a human flesh will be something to reckon with in His presence? Let me say this: No man or woman will go to Hell because of what He or She wears. Rather, any man who has refused to accept Jesus as His Lord and Saviour, such will be cast aside into the abyss.

Whilst modest dressing is to be encourage, lets not make religion out of it. For man looks at the outside, God sees and works with the inside. Clearly Jesus said: It is not worth enters a man that corrupts Him but what comes out of Him - Think what this really means.[/quote]Wrong! A friend of mine died recently but was mercifully sent back. Even tho she'd been a wonderful xtian, she was disqualified from entering heaven cos of her dressing.
God is interested in every detail of our lives. The earth we're living in is doomed for destruction. God is creating a new heaVen and earth and no tiny sin or worldliness will be allowed to enter and pollute that new place.
Your choice: dress modestly/godly and make heaven or deceive yourself that it doesn't matter and miss the rapture

That majority mocks doesn't make my belief any less valid. The One I'm following (Christ) had told me that in these last days, we would be few that will believe.
Majority isn't always right!The special person swims against the current

Apostolic Faith Church teaches and believes in eternal heaven and eternal hell.Soon, some earth-shaking events will occur: the trumpet shall sound,the Lord Jesus shall appear and the righteous dead shall be raised. The overcoming christians shall rise with the righteous dead to meet the Lord in the azure above. That is the first resurrection. In the second resurrection, all godless people will be raised for judging and be cast into everlasting lake of fire.
Mock and sneer what you like, I BELIEVE!

Afam4evaIsASlut: Whhhaaaaaaaattttt?!!?!

NIGERIANS HAVE A VERY, VERY HIGH RATE OF DIABETES!!!! Its just that the healthcare is so shitty most people are misdiagnosed .

There are many Nigerians with diabetes. Just from around me, I can count many
We buried an uncle in Jan
Two friends' moms had leg amputation
My brother-in-law is on daily insulin
Another friend lost her hussband to it. I think he had diabetic ulcer
Diabetes is real
I check my blood sugar. Many times, I have reduced blood sugar (not the high one) and have to talk a sugary drink

Just when you think you've seen it all, another one jolts you

Women to be beaten? And reasons given why it is right?

Wives (I mean full-grown consenting adults) compared with children who all share the love of one big father/husband?

And it all sounds right. Very right!

Sorry, I'm on the wrong thread.

Bye to the very wise folks defending all these

tellwisdom: Next of kin being the wife??---GOD FORBID ...It has to be my mama or my papa

I know you're joking. Even your parents would resent what you just typed. It implies that you are planning to die before them so that your death benefits can be paid to them. Tufiakwa! I reject it on your behalf.

@op, next of kin is USUALLY one's spouse. But tell your aunt to relax if they wedded in court. If the man dies and she produces her marriage certificate and there is evidence that she was living with him (not separated or divorced) they will award her his estate.
A far more rewarding thing to do is to get herself financially independent of her husband. A young woman with 3 kids can build her career/business and own property in her own right. Advise her to get busy rather than quarelling with a living husband how his death benefits will be shared. She should get up and go and secure the financial future of herslef and her children.
Why should the man use her as NOK when his religion permits him to divorce her and marry four others? The man isn't sure he will remain married to her.

coolzeal: Well am just telling you that we are not Igbo and i have never heard any of my relatives that call themselves Igbo either, we're Nsukka and our culture, language and belief system is totally different from Igbos. Anyway when i come back to Naija, i will ask my kinsmen the origin of Nsukka people.

This is the usual attitude of people living in border towns. Even Afikpo and Abakaliki refer to others as Igbos. Just because there is more cultural and linguistic mix which pushes them away from the core doesn't make them not Igbos.

But if you feel so strongly about this, next time you hear "Igbo bu Igbo kwenu" (Igbos who are real Igbos, respond), you can keep quiet. They are already using such greetings in Rivers and parts of Delta.

nwando: Igbos love who they are so much ,I think they are the only tribe in Nigeria that proudly answer it in their names

Last names like


Igbo

igboka. Igbos are the greatest

Igbokwe. Igbos respond

Igbogbahaka

Igbondu. Life for Igbos

Igboerika Igbos are many

Ezeigbo. King of the Igbos

Igboamaeze Igbos know no kings

Njubuigbo.

Igbodike. Igbos are powerful

Okigbo. The great Igbo

Ifedigbo there is something in Igbos

Igboemeka. Igbos have done well

Igboamalu. Igbos have known

onuigbo. The mouthpiece of Igbos

Oluigbo. the voice that speaks for Igbos

NwaIgbo. The son of An Igbo






I have heard girl names like Adaigbo. ..... Igbo daughter

Good discovery. I never thought of it. I've never heard a name with the other tribes in it. Let me add some more

Ozuruigbo
Onuigbo

Pimples: Nice product u've got. Esp considering the power situation in Nigeria.
But as is commonly said, MODERATION IS THE KEY.
When u over use your advert, it makes it look common thus, making it lose value
We will not all migrate to solar in one day.



@ Topic,
I will always hammer from a very tender age to my child...my expectations. So that he or she will no that anything below that is unacceptable

Your expectations? I think you're not married yet. Your role as a parent is to help your child reach his God-given potentials, not your expectations.
I suggest you begin early to work on your mind-set and spare yourself unnecessary heartache. Children live their own lives, not the ones the parents want them to live. Occasionally both parents and children may share the same value system

I used to worry like that over my children until I nearly lost one to ill-health. Thank God she survived. I learnt a valuable lesson: the best my child can offer me is to be there for me.
I don't ask any child to be the best but to try her best. My role is to give every assistance, including helping a child manage failure. It's tough on a child too

The generalizations in this article are annoying and misleading. The article trivializes human sexuality by emphasising only the physIcal. It also reinforces an unfortunate stereotype: the aggressive and sexually demanding Male is seen as the norm.
The large number of men who respect theIr bodies, fear God, and are faithful to their spouses are now considered abnormal.
I think I walked into the wrong thread.

The man hasn't died yet and there's already this quarrel.

These girls were born by Makaziwe, right? She was Mandela's first wife? Where is Winnie and her childdren?

jhydebaba: Wives should be submissive to their husband, hence, she declares all her earnings and forward same at the end of the month while I take care of the expenditure, determining which comes first on the scale of preference.

Men are born to lead

Argument starter! Looks like you're not married. No husband becomes a millionaire by taking his wife's salary. Most men who move far assume the role of provider and leave the woman to support at her discretion. If the woman buys clothes for herself and her children, she's contributing.

In my home, we run personal accounts but each is a signatory to the other's account. It is good for us that way because if there is an emergency or death, the other can access the funds without any legal tussle with the banks.
People who act secretively over money sometimes put their spouses and children in trouble in the event of sudden sickness or death

Gladly gladly the cross-eyed bear ( for Gladly gladly the cross I'd bear)

O Maggi oh Maggi
When shall I see Maggi

The right lyric is
Home again home again
When shall I see my home

The day is bright
Is bright unfair
Oh happy day
A day ojoo (of joy)

What a way to serve his fatherland in his place of primary assignment!
Was that part of his assignment?

He's lucky that it's not an Abakaliki man's wife. He won't have lost only his eyes but would be in the morgue.
The people behave like Northerners. Just a warning to prospective corpers going to Ebonyi.

Men want time. Women want security. And in this game, the women are often the losers. That is the truth whether we like it or not.
We agreed to marry in June and wedded February the following year. If I had to do it all over, I'll still do it same way.

Men, don't play tricks with someone's emotions: she's a daughter and a sister. What you don't want another man to do to your sister or daughter, don't do to someone you profess to love.

Long courtship (beyond a year) never never! I've seen ladies who worked and helped the man through school and her thank you was a wedding invitation card from the man.
When you're ready to marry, just marry.

musKeeto: Very myopic statements...

And our leaders responsible for the general backwardness there? What happens to them?

Truth is bitter but liberating. When people refuse education, their economy, hygiene, nutrition remains at a low level.Even tho our friends up North may be unhappy, truth is that many diseases that are extinct in the South are still holding sway in the North. I've lived and worked in Kano and toured Maiduguri, Sokoto, Gombe, Gusau and Bauchi. It is depressing and women and children are the hardest hit.
Which leaders are you blaming? Northerners have ruled at the Federal level. It's in the interest of the Northern elite to keep their people poor and illiterate. They brainwash and strap bombs on their illiterate followers while sending their own children abroad for quality education

Let me be cheeky

I thought BH was the FG. Or the CIA. Or Igbos attacking and burning churches.
I thought it was universally agreed that they were not Moslems because Moslems are peaceful. I thought it was agreed that their cause was political not religious.

Op I hate stories like this on a Monday morning. Very depressing