₦airaland Forum

This is one reason very comfortable men remain bachelors for long. When money is there, it becomes increasingly difficult to know which girl genuinely loves you and who actually came to eat "Food is ready".

stupor: Name - saltless !


Nice one ! EventhOugh it was copied ! We did enjoy it ! And thanks fOr sharing it with us !

Its not wòrthless !

*thumbs*

Thanks jare! Don't mind those whose lives are --------JOYLESS

PweetiQueensy: Tot twas pics ȋ̊ was gona c.... @topic

Disappointed ehh? Sowie!

dayokanu: Op brainless

Stress endless

This topic Useless

Dayokanu's life------humourless!
Criticism of post----pointless

Welcome to the 21st Century
Our phones -----Wireless
Cooking -----------Fireless
Cars -------------Keyless
Food --------------Fatless
Dress -------------Sleeveless
Youth -------------Jobless
Leaders -----------Clueless
Relationships -----Meaningless
Attitude ----------Careless
Wives -------------Fearless
Husbands ----------Shameless
Babies ------------Fatherless
Feelings ----------Heartless
Education----------Valueless
Children ----------Mannerless
Women -------------Pantiless
Everything is becoming LESS

In fact I am ---------SPEECHLESS

Copied

Angyee: Salt 1, actually I think you should learn to apply advice with wisdom. Note the bolded, that was your mistake. The lady was right. Don't 'open it' to answer a question I ask you. It's not an open book exam. You should be able to satisfactorily respond to my questions without having to refer to any material. The only time you may open/ turn on the gadget is if you have any question to ask me AFTER my questions and even then you say, 'if you don't mind, I would like to refer to my laptop/ tablet as I have prepared a few questions.' and when I gesture that you may you open it you proceed. Simples. I can't believe you are in senior management if you had to 'open it' to answer questions. The Brit's advice was right, your application of the advice was wrong.

You're right. My little show of vanity nearly cost me a good job. Fortunately, I had made a positive impression before that stage of the interview. Of course, i could talk confidently without it but just wanted to show off what I had been taught.

begwong: This is IMPOSSICANT! Even if they have to share the foreign reserve.The govt official will loot half of it.

Reminds me of the man who doubted Elisha's prophecy of abundance of food in Samaria. he had said even if God should open the windows of heaven, it won't be possible and the prophet told him he will see it with his eyes but won't partake of it. But you and I will live and see this magical year: 2015

Poverty is a relative term. The opposite of poverty isn't really wealth but basic creature comforts

I came late to this feast, but hope my contribution will help.
I had an expat train us on interview techniques. He advised us to carry laptops for senior management interviews. I got shortlisted and wanted to use the opportunity to show off this new knowledge. After the psychometric test came the panel interview and I entered with my laptop.
As the interviewers asked a question, I opened my system and their mouths went agape. Fortunately, I had already connected with them, creating the rapport otherwise the interview would have ended there. One lady politely told me that at my level, they expected I should talk confidently on any issue without using my laptop.

Thank God I still got the job. I wish I can see that Brit who advised us to carry laptops to tell him that next time, he should study the context before giving suggestions.

redsun:

Legendary cracker.

Believers are so babyish.They believe in things that makes no common sense.

Faith can really be destructively blind.

You're not the first, neither will you be the last to say so. And certainly you won't be the last to change your position as life's realities and experiences dawn on you. Many so-called atheists have made a complete u-turn in later life. Many have screamed "Oh God" on their death-bed, affirming the existence of the Creator they had spent a life-time rejecting His existence.

Atheism is a religion of its own: complete with its un/belief system, with its preachers and evangelists like the op. What you dislike in Christians is what I see you doing: struggling to mock Christians into changing their beliefs and join you in your belief of science.
Just one more FUNNY question for Muskeeto and team: if you find the Christian's belief in the Bible and in God so puerile and silly, why don't you just ignore them and move on with your superior, scientific knowledge?
I guess your answer already: they're trying to convert you so why may you not poke fun at them, right? Or can there be an underlying FEAR that unreasonable as they sound, they may be right after all?
That you argue over something stridently doesn't make it right.

I am a Christian and so proud to be one! I don't owe you explanation for my belief system whether you think they are reasonable or not. MY LIFE MY CHOICE!

livethinme: By being open and not as ass?

Open to what? The prospect of breeding terrorists and suicide bombers?

Uyi Iredia: So if you see a good Muslim man with all the qualities listed you won't take him. I hope you know there are successful inter-religious marriages. Take the first couple of Lagos, BRF & his wife.

How can you mix Koran and Bible? Who told you the first couple of Lagos are happy? Are you an insider? I'm not saying that they're not happy, but in marriage, appearance may be widely different from reality.

Which religion will the children practice?

pekelepekele: CORRECT MAN!!!. Only strong and competent men have male as their first . YES BOSS!!!

Are you ok? They say that's the third child in 4years. Btw, what's the link between strength/competence with random x and y chromosomes.
It's people like you that abandon their wives in the hospital for having daughters.
Before you marry, pls go and read

DJDOLA: i blame get...if nigeria is a gud country no body will travel wit canoe

The people came from Benin Republic, not Nigeria

I am so ignorant. Did the boat originate from Benin City or Benin Republic? I am not aware that Benin City has a seaport

fsb: Jeez! I'm amazed that a thread whose content(s) fail to add value to this forum make it to the front page...NL just isn't the same as it was years ago...

After the Kano explosions and the Oron boat mishap, I came to this thread to smile a little.
Don't be angry. We need this humour so that we don't have nervous breakdown.
What's the topic again? Ehn! When we eat the tablet of meat in our soup? At the end of the meal, of course! Unless you're a thief, so my mother would say

God bless the op and the moderator who put it on front page. It's laugh therapy

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Why didn't I snap these shots I saw recently?
One said
Don't unirate here! Don't unirate here!

A restaurant advertised itself as "Best brothel in town"

1 shortblackboy: b

Just curious! Did the man wed the two women on the same day?
Wonders will never end

aribitoye: Brethren, i will be relocating to Ado Ekiti in Ekiti state with my family in two weeks time. Please i need advise on the church to start attending because i want to avoid what is popularly known as 'church prostitution'.

Nb: my present church does not have a branch in ekiti state.

My kind of church should have the following qualities:

1. A church that is spiritually alive and active.
2. A church that wont place much emphasis on giving...
3. A church that wont have a register for tithes or offerings because i believe my giving should be without compulsion.
4. A church that is musically sound with good instruments, good choir and great worship leaders.

Please i need ur hearty responses breathren.

1.
Apostolic Faith teaches experiential salvation and all Sound doctrines in the Bible
2. There is no collection plate passed in any service. There is an offering box where you go at your leisure to drop whatever you have.

3. There is no membership register and since offerings are given privately and secretly, nobody knows who gives what
4. Apostolic Faith has the highest orchestra in Africa. The church teaches university level music FREE OF CHARGE to members. You can learn how to play the violin, viola, cello, clarinet, trumpet, organ/piano for free.

But don't take my word for it. Ask God to lead you to where you'll worship Him in spirit and truth and make heaven at last.

slimghost: And you think a party that has Tinubu,Udenwa,Ikimi and Ogbeh as leaders will provide that change? Am laffing in warawara! Dream on!

My worry too. APC has several serving governors. Apart from Fashola. Oshiomole and a few other names, how are these people performing? They receive monthly allocations from the Fed govt. Before we believe them and trust them with our mandate, Udenwa and Tinubu should show the masses what they did with power. At least Buhari has PTF to boast about. How are these govs giving their states the dividends of democracy.
It's also indecent the rain of abuses that come from APC-apologists. I think Killuminati gets an award for being bad mouthed. Can't we be polite even when we disagree?
I support any government in power, and I have no apologies. I voted Fash and GEJ. I admire Oshiomole and Akpabio.

Virgin Finder: Yorubas are not defending the north.They are only after their own interest.

A reallocation of the indigenous oil wells in the country based on the false and emotional claim that northerners own 83% of them will definitely not favour us.

Other southerners are as hostile to we Yorubas as the northerners if not worse.

Everybody means the Yorubas and we are aware.Its out of sheer envy and inferiority complex.

We only make strategic alliances that will favour us.

The north seems favorable at the moment and they know it.

If a non Yoruba southerner were allowed to reallocate the oil wells, it is the '17%' controlled by Yorubas that will first come his mind rather than the '83%' controlled by the north.

Hence, Yorubas have been speaking out so that those of us who donot know the facts about the oil industry are properly informed so that we donot get too passionate and emotional by Senator Enang's claims thereby aligning with them at our own peril.

I was all for reallocation of oil wells and in full support of Senator Enang's claims.
But with all these rebuttals by prominent Yorubas,
I change my mind.


Good job Adeniyi!

Awolowo did a good job in training the Yorubas to think of themselves first as Yorubas before thinking of themselves as Nigerians.
Now I begin to appreciate why 2015 is such a crucial year for Nigeria.Many Oil block allocations will expire in 2016. With a GEJ presidency,PIB passed, and FOI passed, it won't be biz as usual. The status quo will definitely be challenged. Already the SW-controlled media has commenced the propaganda work.I doubt if anything GEJ does will ever get commendation.
Even if he walks on the river, the SW media will say it's because he couldn't swim.
The most High still rules in the affairs of men and we shall watch this exciting game play itself out.

shymexx: What most of you blockheads filled with hatred don't understand is that, the more you hate Islam, the more the religion stays growing... There are so many outlaws on this planet that are enticed to the most hated ideology... If you want the religion to die and go away, stop talking about it, that's the honest truth... Some people(esp. most black youths in the diaspora) believe that Islam is the religion that'll save the world because it isn't a religion for the caucasians - and that's becoming problematic as well....

I'm not a lover of no raghead, neither do I've love for any blonde hair having and blue-eyed saviour... However, tolerance is needed on this planet...

I'm out!!

Don't go yet, Shymexx
This info you just dropped should be considered offensive to Islam and should earn you a ban. You said Islam is growing. Accepted.
But you attribute the growth to .... outlaws converting. No wonder the increasing spate of violence.
We should stop talking about a problem that threatens our very lives? BH strikes, but we shouldn't talk because if we ignore them they will go away? And go with our heads?
I worry about your reasoning

texazzpete: A peaceful walk out is what you're condemning in such strident tones?

*stifles laughter*

To Lagoshia and Deols, walking out is the moral equivalent of killing and pulling of a hijab is tantamount to bh bombing.
So much for value system!

jeniud: Most parents in 9ja don't even care abt their children feelings it hurts me so much i feel like to commit suicid too my parents are wicked and idle worshiper

You feel like committing suicide too? Because of your parents? Please how would I beg you to change that mindset?
Abeg abeg go for Counselling before you become a psychiatric case or end in the hottest part of hell and your parents will repent and go to heaven.
Pleaaaaaaaase!

Good post.
I love No 6 particularly. I noticed that critics hardly create anything but criticism: blame the system, blame your parents, blame everything and everyone but yourself. To be broke is temporary but being poor is an attitude.

Exponental: Stop calling her a bit.ch, it's a nature's call.

Don't understand you! What are you talking about?

As the world marks the International Women's Day, can you honestly say that women are discriminated against?

Which harmful practices against the women would you like society to change?
My list is
1. Female circumcision. In some societies, there is infibulation too where the labia is sown together
2. Early and forced marriage of the girl child
3. Illiteracy of the woman

Dear readers, could you add yours and let's all join our e-mouths to say enough is enough

My own list
1. Gloria Gaither (gospel artist remember "because He lives, i can face tomorrow)
2. Buchi Emecheta (novelist)
3. Mary Kay (business woman)
4. Akachi Ezeigbo (scholar)
5. Oby Ezekwesili
6. My grandmother( a frontline womanist)
7. Mother Theresa

dederocs: who owns the properties,apart from a very few churches,the pastor is the C.E.O-so any property he buys is in his name.

I belong to one of those few churches where the properties are owned by the board of trustees drawn from several geo-political zones. The membership of the board also keeps changing as members are replaced due to death, age, incapacitation or unacceptable conduct. So the leader is not the CEO but reports to a larger group that can replace him if he should ever become over-bearing.

Just because a few GO's have won a massive following and are living large doesn't mean that all pastors are milking their followers. Many are still humble shepherds spending their time and resources on the sheep

skyfall: SCAM!

Still don't get what makes some of you so angry. Some men spend their money on wine, weed and women. Some spend it on lotteries,betting etc.
Why break your head if some choose to give money for their pet charity (their church) where they believe of both immediate and eternal returns?
Those who're quick to say "don't judge" have already judged, condemned and sentenced tithe payers and receivers.
I ask again, how is it any of your business what I spend my money on?