₦airaland Forum

alfchye:
How good are u and this English lesson, why don't u go compete ur english lesson with Achebe's Daughter u bitch.I guess u are just one big loser, who goes about looking for a girl to make up with.Why don't u look for a guy instead of a girl.U know why because you have a big well under your thigh, No size of any privates will ever fill that cos its elastic has already been broken with too much candle stick TOM BOY.I sorry for u.You have a real long way to go.
Go use ur English make money because that is what counts in this life.Stop being stupid.
You been a lesbian doesn't mean you can't be reasonable okay.You are the boy here for ur girlfriend or fiancee, so Try to reason like a man and quit being feminine because you are not.
Fucking skank.

ROFLMFAO. . . And the dementia continues.

Kalokalo how now? I thought I told you to go brush up on your language skills. I know you are not used to hanging around civilised people, but do try not to show yourself up this badly in future. Or does this place look like Aba market to you? You should know all about stinking wide wells, after all is that not from where you passed into the world? Your brand of stupidity is contagious. Kindly keep away from me.

C2H5OH:
Explain what makes these women stupid? Judgmental much?

The same thing that would make a man who shares his wife willingly with another man stupid.

Ndipe:
@sapphic, I hope you will accept your husband's decision not to accomodate your family members.

No be boast, my family members cannot want or need to stay with me. But let us say they do, yes, that is perfectly fine by me that he won't accommodate them. In fact, I am the kind of person who would tell a fib and say my husband did not agree even when he does not mind.

landwin:
What will you do if kanu nwankwo's brother asked for your hand in marriage

The Barely literate Kanu himself would not get a look in, talk much less of some poor relative who is hanging on his coat tails.

[quote author=na2day? link=topic=219106.msg3358465#msg3358465 date=1232316149]i truly hope in the future ur son's wife will cheat on him and then the inlaws will get good thugs to come beat the crap out of him and probably kill him, it will serve him right, wont it? akamu! ! ! [/quote]Back to sender a thousand times. And in addition, I sincerely hope that all the children you may have die in an accident on the same day. What bloody nonsense.

See me see wahala o. Someone comes here and says that he caught his wife cheating and asked her, then out of the blue her father whisks her away and sends thugs to beat him, but instead of you to engage your brain to either fill in the gaps through deductive reasoning or at least query what happened in the interim, you are clucking like a demented fowl that has lost its chick. Any half-intelligent person would conclude that there is more to this than meets the eye (or much more than has been divulged). Is the girl's father a wizard that he would have guessed that his daughter was being questioned or did the poster tell you that the man routinely sends thugs to his house to beat him on a regular basis? Instead you decide to send curses to your family not me. Bloody Idiot. Nonsense! 

Sisi Jinx:
My own dad was not a good cook but we loved his cooking anyway. . .lol.

My dad was a bloody good cook. He had his numerous faults, but not being domestic was not one of them. My mother could never "Shakara" him and say she was going to "punish" him by not cooking. It was my father that taught my sisters and I that you did not stir fish stew (or soup), that you carried the pot and shook it gently so that the fish did not break up.

Sisi Jinx:
Good Points!

Personally, I've always had a problem with these said financial responsibilities that customarily fall on my men. I think anyone who accepts these and the demands equal egaliwhachumacallit is talking out of both sides of her mouth.

My idea of partnership is not that we both sit down and say I will sweep from the living room to the landing and then you take it from there until you get to the kitchen. No, my idea of partnership is when one person sees somethings needs to be done and does it.  I see your laundry piling up. . . I do it. You see dishes in the sink, you do it. You wake up first, get the children ready for school. I finish work early, I pick 'em up. You see my engine lights are on, you stop at the mechanics, I notice your car is dirty. . . I stop at the car wash. (keeping my examples are basic as possible)

I guess stripped down to the very core, my idea of partnership is really doing things for each other without putting much thought into it. . . having to weigh it "Oh is this a woman or a man's job?"

Is this too much to ask??!!  

The truth is that many couples in the west already has the woman bearing her fair share of the financial burden, but the men do not bear a proportionate share of the household chores. All my mates and family members who are married and live in the UK, US and Canada ALL contribute to the bills (i.e mortgage, utilities, child minder, food etc). My close mate was once earning almost double what her hubby was here in London and she paid majority of the bills AND did the housework, and the once in a golden moon that the hubby used to help her to wash a few dishes, he would keep announcing "Don't ever say I don't help you do YOUR work in this house". . . can you imagine that crap? Now he is earning more a little more than her, the bills are split equally and she still does practically all the chores (he helps out now and then, but not regularly and that is cos she just gave birth a few months ago).

KarmaMod:
sapphic, your parents sound like mine. My dad's also a great cook and a neat freak

You know how all these Naija people are. When some of those Yoruba idiots would come to the house, if my father was cooking that day, they said my mother had given my father something to eat or that she had used his head to do kparo.

Taken:
Stop fretting Sapphic, se bi we just dey chat and no hard feeling intended.

Abi you don forget you call some guy a fool the other time. He took it with calmness.

Anyway, as the guy talk, despite the negative connotations we cant live without you ladies.

It was not me who called you a fool that time o. And if it was someone else, he must have called me something before too. And I was not fretting. I just needed to be sure that you were not going to start that your "let's pull Sapphic's pigtails" caper or your male supremacy claptrap. No hard feelings.

Taken:
Common aj, the guy speaks the truth. However, I will not encourage guys to go around and deflowers women. There are good women, but they are very very very few.

But I will encourage guys to invest some time in stepping up their self esteem and their skills in picking up women - not for evil purposes but so as to learn how not to be a mugu in the hands of some of these females of today.

LOL. . . I guess it is the guys that are good abi?

FBS:
what sort of advise? do the women really talk? most of them just assume the guy should know everything. Truth is they don't.

True, maybe some women do not talk, but have you tried telling a guy that he is not doing it right? Many of them do not want to be told that their skills are sub-par. They will turn it to either "the woman is loose" or "all their former girlfriends sing hymns that they were the greatest in the sack". Many women just endure the nonsense of the man panting his way and try to think of something pleasant in the interim (so many women fake the orgasms). Oprah did a show not too long ago on women and orgasms. There was this woman who had been married for about 20 years who had NEVER had an orgasm in her life. When they asked her husband what he thought of the fact that his wife had been faking it for 20 years, the guy said he wasn’t sure, but he did know that he knew what he was doing in the sack. (one would think apparently that he doesn't, but that is just how many guys are). My sister just got divorced last month, but when she was with her husband, each time she attempted to to tell him what to do to pleasure her, she was rebuffed with an "I know what I am doing" response. She went to Ann Summers and got herself a bleeping vibrator. Sorted.

jibbygirl:

Think of it this way. . . Better a few tears now, than major heartbreak later. I am sure you knew that the way he was terating you was not right before you posted your question here or else you won't have given it a second thought. Chin up mate. . . with the right decision, things can only get better. ^{(touch wood)}.

klassyguy:
@Sapphic,

From what you are saying, it was a phone call and I am assuming that she called your phone and you passed the phone to your cousin. Why complain now?

I gave her a call that day, and since she was out of town, he said he wanted to say hello to her. Dats why i gave him the phone. It was when i heard him mention what he said that i later asked her and she said she told him so so and so.

Ah ah. What is his business if the girl is out of town? Moreover, Do you find it hard to say no? After all the passes he has made to the girl and visiting her behind your back and all his reputation and behaviours you stated, why did you not just say a simple no?

Cousin - "May I say hello to XYZ?" or "Let me say hello to XYZ"

You - "NO. I told you I don't want you to have anything to do with her"

Surely that does not seem hard. Anyway, it seems they already have a kind of rapport or camaraderie. I am not suggesting anything sinister, just an observation from your statements.

@ Topic, Second wife, no. Third wife (or more), then yes. LOL. it is the stupid women that allow themselves to be made second/third/fourth wives that I blame. However, if the man already has a 2nd wife, then the 2nd wife cannot complain if he marries a new wife on top of her.

C2H5OH:
Why experiement with western improvisation when we already have something that works?

I knew that this is where I will find you. Anything that has to do with male supremacy, you will forever be there. . . Shiorr.

In my own family, my father worked about the house o. We had the customary househelps but my father was a mean cook. And I will always remember those cooking competitions between him and my mother that had me and my siblings judging. Those were the good old days. My father's pearly words of wisdom always ring in my ears from time to time "you are not a second class citizen, so don't let any man treat you as one", "you can do anything you set your mind to", "we are not sending you girls to school just to become somebody's baby factory or modern day slave" etc etc etc. So the thing is possible o, it's just that Naija men love lording it over their clueless spouses.

klassyguy:
Some nights ago, my girlfriend told me she had some female medical issues and wanted to talk to my cousin who's a doctor and who stays in my house.

The girl asked you that she wanted to speak to your cousin. Why on earth did you not tell her a categorical no at the time? From what you are saying, it was a phone call and I am assuming that she called your phone and you passed the phone to your cousin. Why complain now? And if it was his phone she called, how come they now have each others phone numbers? Moreover, why did you not trash it out with your cousin when he went to her place after you told him not to? I believe that YOU are the problem. Take control of your relationship and cousin. . . so far there doesn't seem to be a problem, though from what you say, there is the potential for one to crop up.

That may well be, but like I said, know what you are getting into. I'm not talking about marriage at all. Not all relationships lead to marriage, but why go into one knowing you are not even respected. If she is fine with being treated like crap, then she can go ahead, but if she feels bad at the way he is treating her, then do away with his sorry ass. Ultimate decision of course lies with her as she is the only one going to feel the joys and/or the pains of this alliance.

Pennywise:
If you take Sapphic advise, you will be 38 and still be waiting for that guy who really really . . . . . .The issue of having been used when a relationship goes bust has no real meaning in modern day application. Afterall you were not bethrotted.

Says who? Look, I always say to people, define the relationship you are going into. If I am going into a relationship for the sex, then I know that is what I want and that is what I will get. What use will it be to the poster if she is thinking that this relationship can lead somewhere when all the guy probably wants is to use her as a hit-and-run or booty call? If she just wants to shag him, then that's fine. For her sake, I hope she does not go blindly into this. As my people say, It is from the daytime that you will know how the night is going to be. So poster be aware.

OMO IBO:
again, i co-sign sapphic.
if he cant be bothered to put in any effort at this early stage then stuff him.
my sister would say 'dem no dey beg shit to smell'

i dont know of anyguy that'd be so withdrawn early on in a relationship.

sapphic, i be small pikin oooo. but make u identify yourself.

The thing tire me o. Even Oyinbo boys wey no dey do marathon chasing no dey give up after one week or two. talk much less of Naija boy in Naija for that matter.

C u guys later. Bye.

Taken:
Yes you know what the summary is about and stop trying to laugh it over.

Yall know the story described many of yall ladies - stop pretending.

Wo iwo bobo yi, fi mi lorun le. Shey kosi? abi nkan imiran tun wa nibe ni?

Pennywise:
@OP
You obviously love this guy. So you have to do what you can to make it work between you.

First, Let him know you love him.[/b]That disarms most guys completely.Manifest this love by your presence, attention and communication and then try to know him.Many potentially great relationships have been marred by unnecessary show of ego.But the most important thing is knowing if the guy has good values, decent and respectful of people. In order words if he has shame.Some guys are cold blooded and simply dont have shame.Continuing on that path with a guy like that who doesnt appreciate you will amount to forcing ur self on him which is not good whether it works out or not.

[b]Yes it is possible he is upset you played too hard to get. I can relate to a guy getting upset when a girl does that. I did waste my time and money on one, once.She was still running not knowing I had cut her loose.When she looked back I was far gone and it was time for her to do the chase.And what a frustrating chase it was.

I don't know you from Adam, but I think it might be a huge mistake telling him that you love him especially during this period that he is treating you like shit. If a guy only spends one or two weeks pursuing you (not that he was showering you with gifts or taking you out endlessly o) and he feels that that is all you are worth for him to give up, I believe that alone tells the story. Do not be fooled, once he knows you've got it bad, you will be in for a nightmarish ride.

Guys are used to chasing/toasting girls, and believe me when a guy really really wants you, he will spend a great deal of time (and resources) trying to get you to be his girlfriend. The guy telling you he loves you after one day is enough for you to read the writing on the wall. It is up to you whether you cut your losses now and deal with your little heartbreak or let the guy use you good and proper only to dump you in the end. It is your decision, but a word is enough for the wise.


@ Omo Nna, na which one be all this Aunty talk na? You know say you dey old enough to born me na. LOL

jibbygirl:
hi all, I'm sorry if this seems too long and boring but i want to give u a clear picture of the situation and Ur candid opinions will be appreciated.
there is this guy i meet a few months back. for the first one week, he was calling me, sending text messages and saying that he was madly i love with me. Funnily, all these happened after seeing eachother just once so it got me sceptical that how could someone that met u just once be feeling this way about u so i was not really responsive and i made him realise that he sounded to really to be true. After about two weeks, he started to withdrawal but i had begun to like him then. He stopped calling, texting and when i sent texts to him, he didn't reply, then i said to hell and we stopped communicating for close to 3 months. about two months ago, he called me with a strange number telling me he was sorry for not calling or responding to my texts that he felt discouraged and I said ok.
To cut the long story short, we meet for the second time this month and he kissed me. it felt good kissing him and i didn't resist it. Told me he loves me so much and that he wants a serious relatinship with me to which i consented. But the problem now is his attitude, Atimes he might not call me for two days, he will tell me he's coming, he won't show up and when we talk he won't give excuses or explanation for his actions.
Pls what do u think i should do? Atimes i feel he is doing things to hurt me intentionally, to get back at me for what happened when we first met. Funnily, I've fallen in love with him. when he doesn't call, i don't call him either cos i hate it when pple take me for granted. We've not spoken for 3 days now and I'm dying to be with him again. pls advise me on what to do and I'm sorry for the long story.

This one is easy. You are in the early days of a relationship and he is already treating you like crap. Drop him like a bad habit mate. The highlighted section is enough for me to dump a serious boyfriend/girlfriend, talk much less of early romance. Let me tell you, you had better respect yourself, cos if you accept him treating you shabbily, you are in for a much more rocky road ahead. Forget all these your professions of love. It is unlikely to be love you feel. You will inevitably get over him and get someone who would treat you with the respect and courtesy you so rightly deserve.

@ Topic, It si so very possible. Just not equally or in the same way.