₦airaland Forum

Seeker3:
Have witnessed that several times. All happened in the same room but by different people sha. First experience was when I was in my year 1 still living with my big bro. This my brother's friend came around with his girlfriend and it happened to be this my primary school classmate that I had a crush on back then. We all got along with gist since we all knew one another. Later slept off only to sprang up in the middle of the night by this horney-inducing moaning sound reverberating the room. My brother's friend was humping her and the girl was a screamer. They were lost in ecstasy that they did not even notice that I was awake sitted with confusion written all over me. After like 1 minute, the girl noticed and tried to stifle her moanings while I laid back. The room sha was dark. Woke up the next day to notice that the girl was still naked as she was covering herself with the duvet. Prepared and left for school instantly. I just confirmed say this my primary school classmate no get joy again o. Anyways she's now married. I just dey pity the hubby.

Another scenario was when my distant paternal relative came for a visit from another state with his girl, one day they went on an outing and when they got back at night, I was already seated on my reading desk studying for a hard course we'd be taking the exam the next day. Omo. The Konji wey hold these people no be here o. They entered the duvet and began knacking. I thought it was just ordinary making out sef until I started hearing kpa kpa kpa kpa with increased tempo. The girl did all to stifle her moaning sound sha and she tried. I reduced the brightness of the light on my reading desk and said to me mind that if these people couldn't respect me to ask for privacy, me sef no go respect their private drilling. I stayed till the kpa kpa kpa sound stopped. Anyway sha my eyes were glued to my book but I was just repeating one line for the whole time the knacking session lasted.

Another one was a guy (my brother's friend) that came around when my brother travelled. His babe lived in the same compound with me. They were outside gisting for long while I was inside. Around 12 am, they came inside. I was already sleeping but I'm one that gets awoken by slight sound. So the opening of the door woke me up but I pretended to still be asleep when I noticed that it's the two that came in. 5 mins later they begam knacking while I was tossing around the rug that I laid sleeping. The next day I told him about his sexcapade while we laughed over it.

Another one was my fried that I visited in school. I didn't know that his babe was around(her foot wear was inside), burst into the room without knocking as he's my close pal to surprise him instead I was the one that got surprised. Rushed out with sorry sorry sorry ringing on my lips.

Another one was.... Omo... Lemme stop here

lol funny,
The most recent is a good pal of mine in the country I did business in before coming to 9ja.
So I usually stay in his place when I'm in the city I do business.
I don go chow heavy dinner for then returned to his place.
As I dey enter,e dey commot and e no tell me say e dey come back with babe.
Na when I don sleep weh him return with one big yarnsh girl.
I dey bed,them dey ground dey fùck.
I open eye small na so my round headed friend dey untop dey so humm humm humm ,kpa kpa kpa na wetin I dey hear.

Na for morning I see how big the girl yarnsh big,my guy come go market leave me and the gurl for house.
I dey want reason the girl make we knack but guycode no gree me.
I never see yarnsh weh big like that till date,kai..

So this was like 6 years ago, we were all young adults.
I went to my guy's place just to hang out with the guys and note that this my guy is a chronic womaniser,who brings different girls home every night.
I liked going there because there are always other guys there so there's never a dull moment.
So this night ,he brought this busty girl home and they went straight to his bedroom for business.
Not up to 5 mins na so we begin hear loud moaning,very loud!Oohhh ahhh,haha,uhhhh...
We were four in the sitting room and the sound don dey excite men so one guy came up with the idea for us to go and peep through the door.
We all went but we couldn't see much because we were four and the hole in the door was too small plus they put off the lights and left just the TV on.
So one of the guys because he lived there suggested we climb the ceiling and peep through the holes of the ceiling fan as it was larger and got more coverage.
So we went through the manhole in the guest toilet ceiling and made towards his room.Four guys thumping on the ceiling and scrambling for spots
The girl heard the thumping and asked what that was..our guy say na rats but e don already decode say na we.
Omo the kind acrobatics I see that day ehn,na so the girl dey squirt anyhow and na raw
So when they were almost done, we decided to leave as it got boring but for one guy that stayed.
So I was the third to climb down from the ceiling and so I turned off the guest toilet lights by intuition that made the fourth guy up to lose his bearings coming down ,which made his descent very hard as this was very late at night and everywhere was very dark.
Na so my guy looking for the exit strayed into the next apartment that had some young couple and kids in it ,strayed into their parents bedroom while they were inside about retiring for the night and bursted their ceiling with his leg with their bedroom lights on and the leg got stuck,dangling down their ceiling and he was trying to remove it to no avail
Come see as the woman in the other apartment dey shout,thief ooo thief ooo,the husband dey tell am to bring me cutlass make i cut the leg
As the guy hear am e forcefully Jack up the leg and made a big hole in their ceiling and jump back into our apartment and ran to one of the rooms,e come dey explain wetin Happen dey try to clean the ceiling dust from his body knowing that the neighbours will come knocking any minute ,so as to wipe off the evidence.
This was on the 2nd floor of a 2 storey building btw..
So we devised a plan quickly and when the neighbour came ,we threw one brick infront of our guy's house downstairs so that it made a thump sound like someone jumped and began to shout...E don jump, e don jump...
The mugu carry matchet dey run round house while we pretended to aid in the search .
Na when e don run round house finish weh e come back to his senses come dey ask of the other guy,say e no see am throughout the incident ,say where em dey?dey ask seriously.
So the guy finally came out after cleaning his body and the guy was accusing him and him dey deny,we come dey open eye for the guy so e finally left,
He took it serious because he thought our guy wanted to come loot his apartment or something
Na for morning weh the wife come meet us say e be like na that sound weh the girl be dey make, make us climb ceiling and we all laughed about it,the husband later came and it was all laughter...
Funny younger years haha,
Share your funny experiences if you've got them.
Just for fun.

Acidosis:
Of course, the naira will weaken further. The most dollarized election in the world is coming up soon in the world's poverty capital. Quite paradoxical that the most affected and oppressed by the poverty plaque are more likely to plunge the country further into poverty and indebtedness by their crass electoral choices and mal-decisions.

I believe she was talking about the naira weakening at official channels and not at shady markets such as the parallel market.
So what you're saying doesn't apply in the case she highlighted.

DrAkpamudehe:
Pls shut up. It doesn't change the fact that you are a braggart. You brag so tey Dem cast u for ashewo thread. We know you and your antecedents

I brag with deep pockets,know the difference.
Punk.

DrAkpamudehe:
@ d bolded. Nairalanders and it's plethora of braggarts. Was the bolded necessary? You could have just passed your point without bragging about what you can't afford.

I re-iterate,I can buy an iPhone 20 now ,before it's released in 3-5 yrs or so.
I'm really rich man,if you're pissed about what I may or may not afford,that's your business.
Low end of the food chain punk.

dyfaze:
Let’s just pray to be rich. I remembered I used to say I can’t buy phone of 100k but I later realized that I was talking base on that present condition (I am still on God though). A time will come when 500k will be like 1k to you though fingers are not equal but once you can afford quality phones with nice specification, forget it, you will surely buy it.

No be rich matter,some people are very objective in life approaches.
I can buy an iPhone 20 even before they launch it maybe in 5 years to come or whatever,but why should I?
What can it do that my A32 can't?
Why should I pay so much for it when I get same from a 120k phone?
Objectivity levels varies in people,that's just my take.

No sense in borrowing @24,5% PA interest to buy a car, assuming you're collecting the supposed loan from a Nigerian commercial bank!
I don't even use their credit for business, let alone using it to fund a depreciating asset like a private car.
Save up for it instead in my humble opinion.

dyera:
I love how these men don't get themselves involved in politics and don't get affiliated with any political party. They are ready to work with any government that emerges.

It is foolish to come out open as a businessman and put out your political concerns or views.
It can affect your business in many ways. Humans are very sentimental regardless of how objective they claim to be.
Always remain neutral in sensational topics if you wanna succeed in business.

I love and listen to Dangote so much, BUA too.So much real time strategies and open market domination techniques from them.
If you listen to these two,you'll learn a lot as a young rising businessman.
Otedola isn't half as clever,listen to him and get brain drain.

Me I wasn't exposed oo,na me use my hand dey ransack my brother bag to find porn magazines.
I think I was 10 years old or so...

Na wetin one girl tell me till I found out she's lesbian.
Check your "other side".
Asexual kor..

crackhaus:

lol why you dey laugh sinister laugh?

This isn't a 2022 Land cruiser lc300 but an upgraded landcruiser lc200(2008-2020).
But it's no easy feat anyways,kudos to her.

uzernamme:
Lol. I dunno about baby size head but their are penis large enough to enlarge a tight or normal V. Just rigorous insertions are enough to expand it. I wouldn't want to know his size but it could be average. Hence, I mentioned intimacy gadget.

Don't underestimate those endowed down there, they can establish a temporal ground zero on a woman's vagina. A female once told me her frnd broke up with her ex and since then her sex life has never been the same cos of the size of his plug.

Na you know why you dey follow that one talk,
If penis no fit enlarge kpekus,make she come explain why studies say the average brothel hoe carry "omimi" for body.
Baby ko,nonsense ni.
She dey defend herself na...infact make I close mouth.

obiekunie01:
WHAT JOB IS YOUR WIFE INTO THAT ALLOW HER TO GO FOR A WHOLE MONTH VACATION WITHOUT HER FAMILY??

And you being the husband allowed that.

The only condition that a man will allow such nonsense is if the man is jobless and the woman is the bread winner!


NOW LET ME SHOCK YOU O! JOBLESS BRO!

Your wife is a working class olosho!

That tripe was paid for by her office boss or her rich client.




if only you will see this your so-called wife in action as a submissive slave to her boss or client you will be amazed.

She is already fed-up of taking care of you and still pretend to be your wife.

Make any silly move and you will be thrown out.

Lol,your bolded isn't true.
All these 21st century working class women sabi claim useless independence.
I was actively dating one who opened her mouth to tell me I can't stop her from going to a vacation to any place/country of her choice in marriage to clear her head,whether I come along or not,she'll still go.
That she's a full grown woman bla bla bla,I should fix my insecurities,I won't cage her ,etc...
From that day I just start to dey fùck her anyhow and dey countdown to when I'll drop her sorry ass.
Most independent women(I make my own money crew aka strong girl) dey craze Well well my brother,na wetin make me dey hunt for small ,homely girl like this weh I go marry and she'll succumb to my leadership.
P.S:I am far from jobless(really well off) and is way richer than the lady in question!
They also try to trivialise your worth and achievements so as to make you feel less of yourself and make you think you've got no options,unless you're strong enough to call off their bullshit and remind them who you are and put them in their rightful place.Then they now enter their shell and bow to higher authority.
They claim to have been with creme de la creme,yet they no belong to the class,neither do the creme de la creme they claim to know send their dead corpse!
If you get sense for this life brotherly,you go show these women shege!

nedekid:
For real, I hear the cheapest car to clear now cost minimum 1.1m!
I was with a friend last week at Sam's yard. Container loading point in rainham. He loaded 2 cars and was complaining of the clearing cost. That the cheapest car to clear was ₦1.1m upwards. That they are evaluated as 2013. So you buy a 2003 car but you pay 2013 duty! All he complained about was the increased cost of clearing and that if you have a car in Nigeria, keep it well cost the rising cost will make it difficult for Nigerians to buy.
He said our leaders were all gov pikin that never struggled for money so are insensitive to the plight of ordinary Nigerians.
Do you know we are poorer than people in the UK, yet we pay more for cars than they do?

Not true sir!
Emission taxes and monthly insurance alone in the UK can buy a car in Nigeria.
Not to talk of high fuel prices and repairs.
Why do you think people mostly drive small engined,manual cars in the UK?
You think they want to?
Na for naija weh poor man dey drive V8.

SpecialAdviser:
The very big question to ask is " How did we increase petrol price from 86.5 naira in 2015 to as much as N180 per litre now without removing subsidy?"

A good government will first explain this.

Naira depreciation.
Now that I've given you a hint,go ahead and explain it to yourself.

PNomsule:
I think you're easy to relate with, you argue with sound perspective and broad knowledge base, I must acknowledge that.

Back to our discuss and importantly, a situation where Govt have to print more money and share is an aspect of a mixed economic system that combines aspects of both capitalism and socialism. What a mixed economic system does is it protects private property and allows a level of economic freedom in the use of capital, but also allows for governments to interfere in economic activities in order to achieve social aims. Hence I maintain that prices could be controlled.

(you will agree with me that in contrived circumstances, gravity can be felt less e.g Astronauts space travel.)

Again, if more people are employed, it means supply will increase relative to demand and the aspect of "too much money chasing fewer goods" diminished. Don't you think bruv?

Nobody is getting employed because capitalists won't build any plants in the first place citing depreciation fears as it will be a daily occurrence.
What they'll do instead is wrap up and move to a more sensible economy.
Die this idea op.
Your price gagging fantasy can only work in an ideal country that has all it needs so much so that you don't need to import anything(goods or service) so you don't need to even establish an exchange rate with any other currency,
But I'm sure you know no country is this self sufficient so what's the point?

PNomsule:
My problem is those responding and claiming financial experts are simply regurgitating textbook inflation analysis which I already envisaged in my post.

I saw that too,no out of the box thinking.
Just regurgitating things you already stated and claiming analyst.
Pathetic!

PNomsule:
I fancy the points you noted however, from the post I made, how do you see the aspect of Price Control Mechanism as a critical vehicle to combat and stiffle inflation before it rears its ugly head, say on bread for example?

You cannot stiffle price because some components of production are imported by the corporations you want to stiffle their prices and you've got no control over what's going on out of your borders.
Also,as with the issue of corps hiring more people out of too much demand to solve unemployment,
It can't work because to start establishing new plants to satisfy that surging demand takes time,in which before then(materialisation of plants) ,the currency must have depreciated so bad that to import equipments to put in those plants will become impossible.
And no corporation will want to make longterm investments like establishing plants in that kind of economy where depreciation will he happening everyday,
What you will see mostly in such periods is capital flight

hahn:
Then choose a better bank like gtbank. Uba have been dead for years

lol I'm a businessman ,we don't just up and leave a bank for flimsy reasons.

hahn:
Better create a kuda account and dump that Useless Bank of Africa

Hahaha no oo, before all these fintech people chop my funds.
I can't shout
If its not traditional,count me out.

Makamatic:
It's ur own bank . Same happened to me yesterday . UBA and Access get issues

Na wa ,
Thank you.
I experienced it too yesterday but I thought it'll be over by now.

Someone is saying he has been trying to transfer my funds to me since 2 days now from Sterling bank and I'm yet to receive it.
Beneficiary bank is UBA.
I don't know how true this is,or is it just gimmicks on his end?

nedekid:
I think there are ways it could be done, selling to them not for the purpose of earning forex, that will be left to the big oil companies.
Do you know there are lots of marginal fields already drilled and capped bit not in use because they don't have the oil in commercial enough quantity to require further investments by the big cooperations? Such fields can be assigned. This is not new, I know a gas company that got its well, drilled and producing cooking gas for local use.
If there is will it can be done, Afterall, the guys there are already stealing the oil to refine.

Gas is different from crude,the moment you hit a gas reserve, it jumps out on its own.
The only difficulty in gas is storage cos its voluminous,that is why LNGs exists so they can liquefy them and reduce its volume ,making I easier to store and for the venture to be commercially viable.
Why else do you think crude producers flare gas?
So you bringing in gas here to make an analogy isn't really correct.
Those Wells you're talking about were shut because market prices for crude can't support production from those Wells as they need more input(cost) to produce them.
So if you give bunkerers those marginal fields,it means their own crude will even be more costly than those in the markets per unit time,meaning the only way that marginal field idea of yours can work for bunkerers is if someone is bearing that production cost for them(FG).
Now tell me,where is the sense in this?
Everything isn't black and white chief,especially capitalism.

nedekid:
Modular refineries is the way. In eg india you see them dotted all over.
But naija, we always want things done on a grand scale.
If regulation is relaxed, approvals given to those Niger delta boys currently refining illegally, they will buy crude legally, maybe discounted, refine and satisfy the demand in that area under proper quality and environmental regulation.
But we like things on a grand scale to show we spent billions.
I remember a machine tool factory fgn proposed building in the 80s for millions, massive complex, meanwhile the supplier of tools in India operated from a 2 room workshop.

Buy crude legally at what price and in which currency?
If they start selling to them at discounted naira prices,how then will Nigeria earn forex for your everyday needs
Also if they buy the crude at international prices ,whether in dollars or its naira equivalent, that is the death of their business because they will be highly outpriced by corporations that have better economies of scale and efficiency and they will still fall back to bursting pipes to steal crude.
That business exist only because the raw material(crude) is gotten by its operators for next to nothing(oil theft!) .
Put some real business costs to it and watch it die overnight.
They should be bullied out of business with weapons as they can't provide any economic value.
Think!

gare:
At what rate? International rates or NNPC rates

Smart question.
If its at international rates then the effect of subsidy removal by then will still have full effects on Nigerians.
Make we just dey look...

Well I don't know about you ,but I avoid anything that looks like vision in my life.
I believe and rely only on my abilities.
As for the asking money from you part,you have to learn how to say no to people that want to earn from you for nothing in return.
Vision or no vision,those things would still have happened anyways,He just has psychic abilities and is monetizing it,very common phenomenon.
As for his prayers,they don't do nothing,just scare tactics to extort you.
If his prayers were so powerful,he won't be needing your N1.5m as he can pray his way into having it.
Tell him to go to hell and move on with your life,atleast that's what I would do.
Or better still ,ignore him henceforth.
Read messages and don't reply,ignore calls too,he will get the message.

rickleye:
I am not talking about young ladies between 16-25 who have crushes. I was referring to matured career minded ladies.

Mature career ladies have random sex with 2 categories of people.
Sugar daddies (probably for the comfort that comes with it).
Younger guys (Just innocent,no string attached sex! ) only for pleasure.
In the latter case,them go hide you from their lives pass anything.
Nobody will know they know you and you'll know very little about them,only how their pant looks like.
But if you look like marriage material to them,before you go see the pant they give to those men I described up there carelessly,e go hard ooo!
Na so so marriage talk them go dey tell you,this one is getting married ,that one is doing trad bla bla bla...
They do have random sex but depends on what they perceive the man as.

NOETHNICITY:
Real nigger. Though I’ve repented, but I still maintain one sidechick proper. But I’ll never spend that kind of sum on just blowing. Try keep it low bro

Na conji,besides 60k won't kill me,and it's not like I do it everyday.
I dey over calculate as you see me so.

rickleye:
Women pay for sex but its few and in between. They do not see sex as we do. Plus due to society, its more damaging to them.
I know a bunch of single women who desperately want to get married but no suitable person. I tried to cajole them about sex and its a non starter. Its want men want- women want security, affection. We have different needs.

Lol ,learner.
Women own sex,they have sex with people they want,when they want and you won't know.
Maybe she just doesn't want to have sex with you or wants something serious with you and you dey propose fwb?It can't work na.
If you want to know how casual women can have sex,try young girls and see for yourself.
The older ones dey look for Husbands and as such can't be widening their womanliness on random dudes or they do it on serious code.

jclassiq:
Pls is this a real life story?

Actually,yes...
Happened at the lagos continental Hotel.