₦airaland Forum

@Jazmine
Your little spat reminded me of a pretty similar situation I had with my ex girlfriend so I am going to give you a little secret and let you in to the mind of the creature called MAN.

Fact 1.
Men ACTUALLY want to be shown affection

Strange but true, most men are yearning for affection! Of course we pretend like we really don't need it cos we are not supposed to be involved with our emotions like women. But underneath that gruff bear like exterior is a little kitten that warms up to love and affection.
From what you wrote you stated that your bf accused you for not calling him for a week cos he was busy. Babe that accusation was actually a cry for affection! He feels like he is not important to you or else you would have called him.

I would actually lay the blame for this lapse squarely on the two of you. Regardless of how busy he is a 5 minute call twice or thrice a week would surely go a long way. You guys have a gap in communication and you REALLY have to work on this.

Fact 2.
When a man is pissed he would give his partner the SILENT treatment

When most men are angry at their partners, they give them the silent treatment. The silent treatment is his way of saying "Hey, I am pissed with what you did"
This is exactly what your boyfriend did by ignoring you and you shouldn't take it to heart.
Solution
TALK!! TALK!!! TALK!!!! You have to keep communicating with him even when he is giving you the silent treatment. You seem quite averse to this but always remember that in any relationship someone has to give in for the relationship to work(hopefully it is a two way street).

Right now your relationship is hanging on the edge because of a lack of communication between you and your partner. Somebody would need to bridge the communication gap if the relationship is to work.

Damn!! My response was almost as long as your post!

uchey:
Hi guys, thanks for all the info on this fantastic forum.pls i need some info. My occupation is eligible under the current FSW 2014. I got a 5.5 in one of the language test, and 7.0,7.5,7.5 in d rest. This means i need to rewrite d test right? Secondly can i write the test in the US cos dts where i will be in the next few months. Pls help a sister. Thank u

@Uchey
I wrote the IELTS exam in USA as required by FSWP so let me share my experience and a few tips. First things first, REGISTER EARLY!!!!!!!!!

I cannot over emphasize that bit enough. There aren't a lot of centers that do IELTS and some centers are booked as far back as 2 months in advance. So since you would be in the US for sometime, please try and register now. Normally your result is mailed to you 10 days after writing the test. Use the link below to reserve a space:

https://www.test.registration-usa.com/ielts-candidate/candidateonline/home.html.
Best of luck

Of course there are women who spend on their partners but the sad fact is that they are in an ever increasing minority in Nigeria. But what I usually notice is that most women(Niaja) have to be head over heels in love with you before they can even consider spending money on you

Sometimes I don't know if I am to laugh or cry at the ignorance of Nigerians. Is our education system really that bad that we longer care to read .
Does the article ever state that Nigeria was exonerated? The simple answer is NO!! And for all the misinformed supporters of a corrupt government who were quick to start celebrating the "good news" please read the following quote from the article:

http://www.citypress.co.za/politics/another-sa-nigerian-arms-deal-bust/
The NPA’s Asset Forfeiture Unit subsequently obtained a court order in the South Gauteng High Court to seize the money.
Cerberus’ attorney, Martin Hood, this week declined to comment on the matter.
NPA spokesperson Nathi Mncube said there were no indications that the two transactions were related.
“However, both are now the subject of a criminal investigation and all possible information and connections are being investigated,” said Mncube.

What does this mean in simple English?? It means that currently the case is the subject of a CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION and the South African government NEVER EXONERATED Nigeria!!

So for heavens sake how did people get the erroneous idea that Nigeria had been absolved of this monumental travesty? Our corrupt government still has a case to answer in the South African courts plain and simple.

Side Note
@MissMeiya I don't know who you are but I am impressed that a woman could be as discerning and incisive as you! Ride on sister girl!

I completely agree with the poster and I am actually surprised that other people hold this opinion. Basically tablets are niche devices that somehow became mainstream. I have a 5.5 inch phablet and a regular laptop hence a tablet would be completely useless to me.

Please NOTE that I didn't say that tablets are useless but I said that they are useless to me. There are definitely a whole lot of people that make great use of their tablets but I am definitely not in that category

Here is my own bread recipe but it is for WHEAT bread and trust me when I say that the bread is absolutely delicious and very healthy! I downloaded this recipe from the internet some months back and I have baked bread several times using this recipe. Before using this recipe I had NEVER baked in my life so yeah it is quite simple to do.

1 loaf
Ingredients:

1 cup warm water (110-115 degrees F)
1 tablespoon milk
2 tablespoons oil
2 tablespoons honey
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
2 teaspoons instant active dry yeast (active dry yeast will work also)
Instructions:

1. *Combine first 6 ingredients in a large mixing bowl; stir.

1.1 Add yeast to water that is between 110-115 degrees F. Add one teaspoon of sugar or honey to the mixture. When the mixture is frothy, you can proceed to step 2. If you don't have a thermometer make sure that when you touch the water it is slightly hotter than lukewarm but not so hot that you can't leave your finger in the water.

2. Add flours and yeast mixture, and knead until dough is smooth and elastic, about 10-15 minutes. Place

dough in a greased bowl, turning once to grease top. Cover with a clean towel and let rise until

doubled, about 40 minutes.

3. Punch dough down; knead for a few minutes until smooth and then form into a loaf. Place in

greased loaf pan and cover. [more info on loaf pan sizes] Let rise in a warm place until almost

doubled in size, about 30 minutes.

4. Bake at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes. If loaf starts browning too soon, lightly lay a piece

of foil on top of the loaf to prevent too much darkening.

I usually substitute sugar for honey as I try to be health conscious.

@buildingcastle

Wow this is a tough one! The honest truth is that a lot of ladies in their early twenties are probably students and they are still in that phase of their life where they do not want to be tied down. They are more concerned about enjoying life than marriage which is why I personally do not like the idea of dating women less than 25 years old.

I think your friend should really consider compromising. You know that we really can't have it all. I would recommend that he looks for a working class woman because most of the time they are emotionally mature and know what they want from life. He should attend occasions that are frequented by working class women like dinners, company outings etc. I also like eva's idea of recommendations cos that is how my aunt got married. Someone recommended her to the guy, he got to know her, liked her and voila!

Your friend should discretely seek for recommendations from older WELL MEANING family members (no be the ones wey dey find how dey go chop his money oh!!). There are stylish ways of going about these things. Mothers are great when it comes to recommendations!

@poster

Sweetie I would advise you not to think about the number of years you have spent in this relationship and put ALL wedding plans on hold for now. This is a mistake a lot of Nigerian ladies make but please remember it is not how long but how well.

I am aware that they do DNA test in Nigeria for pregnancies but be aware that it is pretty expensive. Your fiance should pay for the test at once to clear all lingering doubts. In addition you need to INSIST that your fiance take the sperm test! From everything you have said it appears that your fiance is hiding something.

For heaven's sake PLEASE do not be in a rush to marry this man. You need to resolve all these lingering issues before you can even THINK about marriage.

Best of luck

persius555: Nigerians, open your eyes. Beware of the US govt. It was partly responsible for the longest civil war on the continent (the angolan civil war), it was responsible for destroying the most prosperous economy in africa (libya). Today, libyans have become refugees in their once prosperous land. What was their sin?Ghaddafi, insistence that africa was rife to be self sufficient and self dependent, its huge oil reserve. I belive libyan's know better now, this once beautiful country is on the brink of a civil war and where is america in all of this? It is busy fuelling war in another middle esat country (syria).Years ago, it was in the fore front of arming ISIS againt the syrian govt, today it is mobilizing other countries to help destroy the monster it created and at the same time playing a controversial role in eastern europe.Our sin to the US is that we objected their request to establish a command base in nigeria, our objection was simply on moral and security ground.They refused to give us their zmapp, hoping the infection will decimate our economy, but today the world stood up to applaud our ability to effectively contain the epidemic. Anything the US can do, nigeria can also do.

Oh for Pete's sake try and think for ONCE and stop posting pseudo ramblings!! So America is now to blame for our INCREDIBLY CORRUPT government?
Are they to blame for Boko Haram and our government's unwillingness to do anything about it?
Are they to blame for the $9 million debacle in South Africa?
Are they to blame for the fact that our army is ill equipped yet billions of dollars is budgeted annually?
Are they to blame for our missing $20 billion?
Are they to blame for PHCN and the fact that we are still struggling with light?
Are they to blame for the fact that we have NOTHING to show for 30 years of oil exploration?
Do you want me to go on?

You are a TYPICAL NIGERIAN! instead of you to think about the REAL cause of our problems (our corrupt government) you would rather blame the WITCHES in your village and America

I completely concur with the last poster's signature: Nigeria a proud disgrace to the the Black Race!!!

Our senate is a shame to this country and it is apparent that they are only interested in lining their pocket. They stated that the loan is not in cash so HOW would the loan be repaid?? Wouldn't it be repaid with cash? Or do they think we have lost all sense of reasoning?

And the AMAZING thing is that the corrupt senators did not even bother to ask for a breakdown of what the $1 billion would be used for!!!!! Our president simply used Boko Haram to demand for $1 billion. No budget or detailed explanation as to the arms that would actually be procured. So our corrupt senators approved a blanket loan of $1 billion for arms and NOBODY knows which "arms" would be purchased.

Here is exactly what is going to happen. Arms worth say $30 million or so would be purchased and the rest of the funds would simply vanish into thin air as it[b] ALWAYS[/b] does in Nigeria.

People like this make me ASHAMED to be called a Nigerian and never want to return back.
Yet another[b] $1 billion [/b]of OUR money has gone into the pockets of a corrpt few.

Excellent step by the Nigerian Government!!!

However they need to go one step further and suspend EgyptAir immediately! Countries HAVE to know that there would be repercussions for ill treatment meted out to Nigerians. Enough is enough!

News like this makes me SICK to the gut of my stomach. And dense Nigerians who support this corrupt government without thinking make me even sicker!! These so called "Nigerians" that blindly support an obviously corrupt government would GLADLY sell their family for a piece of bread. Let us look at this logically:

1. The Nigerian government said that the US blocked the sale of arms to Nigeria. Please is it the same US that donated helicopters, drones and night vision goggles to Nigeria to curb the Boko Haram menace that blocked the sale of arms?? When did the US ever say that the sale of arms to Nigeria is blocked? Mind you the US is very CLEAR about countries that are not allowed to buy arms such as Iran, North Korea etc. Please stop insulting what is left of our intelligence.

2. Who approved the $9.3million and from which budget?? Is it the army's budget?

3. Since when did the Federal Government start "borrowing" private aircraft to transact business?

4. Why was this a cash transaction? What happened to money transfer?

5. Why did the "transaction" take place in South Africa when the supposed arms company is based in Cyprus? If the transaction was legit why didn't it take place in Nigeria?

6. If the transaction was legit then why oh why was the company that issued the "receipt" not registered as an arms dealer? Legitimate arms dealers are known worldwide and they do not hide!! They have licenses to sell arms for goodness sake!

7. Why would the Nigerian government knowingly and willingly contravene South Africa's money import laws? For goodness sake even here in Nigeria you HAVE to declare any amount that you are carrying which is greater than $10,000. So why would our government KNOWINGLY[/b]go to South Africa and [b]BREAK their laws?

8. Isn't it pretty obvious now where our $20 billion went to?

So by a simple process of inference we can safely assume the following:

1. The deal was a money laundering deal plain and simple!

2. It was actually an arms deal but the arms was never meant for the army or navy. They were meant for the upcoming elections or Boko Haram.

As usual we would bury our heads in the sand and refuse to hold our government responsible for this travesty

jidowu84: What What did you do to warrant d beating.? Cos even if some ladies date A saint their character will turn him to monster. This story kinda one-sided. No man on planet earth will just wake up n think beating is what his damsel deserve. There must be something that push that nice guy to do dat n u ar d only one to stop it. Who told u beating u will stop even if u opt for another man ? So sit down n search ursef what n what do I do dat guy don't like n change for better, get close to experience n successful married women n go ahead with ur wedding. Don't expect good n peaceful home on a platter of bronze let alone gold. So you can work it out . There is a reason God why you are there. Beware of d spirit of failure at the edge of breakthrough. Nothing good comes easily. Enjoy your marriage.

I think I can reasonably say from your post that you are most probably a wife beater. Did you actually read what you posted? So every time a woman is physically abused she must have done something to deserve it? Pray tell, what should women do when men offend them? Cut off their private parts?

A man that beats a woman is nothing more than a coward, SIMPLE! Why would any man in his right senses beat a woman when he knows that he is physically stronger than her? In ANY relationship the man would offend the woman and vice versa because they are 2 different people. But no man has the right to take out his frustrations on a woman with his fists simply because she "offended" him.

@Poster As surely as the sun rises, your fiancee would definitely beat you again. So if you are a masochist and enjoy pain and physical abuse then by all means get married to him. But if you want a life devoid of fear, intimidation and abuse please end this abusive relationship

Pretty useless and deceptive post! If it was easy to save 40% on fuel consumption wouldn't Mercedes Benz and Toyota who spend BILLIONS on research have implemented it?

I am pretty surprised at the poster's flawed argument, Did she actually say that Rice was defending himself I laugh in Spanish at the word defend

In case the poster is not aware, the guy that hit her is an American Football Player!!!! These guys are pretty tough and lifts weights everyday as part of their training. The guy probably outweighs her by at least 60 pounds and would definitely beat up a regular joe easy. Rice hitting her is akin to Baptista or The Rock hitting their spouse! Hence the guy has ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE.

That said I am definitely not implying that his wife was right to hit him but for heaven's sake he is a football player for crying out loud! There is something called self control and what if she had died? He could have easily restrained her without slapping her. I was once slapped by a female friend but instead of retaliating I walked away. That is what a REAL man does! A real man knows that he can easily brutalize a woman because he is physically stronger and that is why he is restrained

That said, this goes for both men and women alike, if your partner is abusive simply end the relationship. No be by force!

Beazy i am so sorry about what happened to you No woman should have to go through what you went through. I definitely do not support what your mother did and I think she is pretty callous.

However please for your own sake forgive your mother. To err is human and to forgive divine. Be the bigger person and forgive her. You have every right to be hurt and angry because of your mother's actions but please let go of the anger. It would definitely not be easy but if you purpose in your heart to forgive her then the process becomes easier.

Once again I am sorry about what you had to endure.

Why stop at the wife greeting her husband good morning? The conversation should be as follows:

wife: Good Morning Sir
husband: grunts (why should he respond back?)

Wife: Master how was your night?
Husband: grunts again

Wife: My Lord what would you like to eat?
Husband: Fetch me bread and egg my slave.

Wife hurriedly scurries out after bowing and prostrating to her husband aka king.

Some people should honestly get their heads out of the PAST!!!

You are too scared to even put up your full picture and you are asking if girls would date you?

Of course the answer is a BIG NO!! You lack confidence and that is a turn off for most women. Besides women don't go weak at the knees cos some random guy pastes pictures of abs.

mizcalvina: We re all humans sometimes we disappoint pple, but it wasn't intentional thou, i promised i wasn gonna visit him pretty soon. He neva listened. He keeps saying its over, to me its not a good reason to say goodbye foreverrrrrr

You really don't understand don't you? The problem isn't that ypu disappointed him but rather it is that you DID NOT make him a priority, simple! Obviously you guys are separated because of distance and eventually you come to the town where he lives, you stay for 2 days and you DO NOT see your boyfriend?? Come on!

You obviously took the guy for granted and the guy feels that there is no point in continuing the relationship.

Solution
Plead and plead and plead!!! Bombard his phone with texts and calls assuring him of your love for him and chances are that he would have a change of mind. Men are egotistical beings so appeal to his sense of ego

I am sorry to hear about your condition and I sincerely hope that you find a solution. However I do not think it is right for you to hide such a serious matter from him and chances are that he would be VERY ANGRY with you when you guys get married and he finds out.

If he is the one that you are going to spend the rest of your life with then he should know about it. Any man worth his salt would support you and would probably not see bedwetting as a deal breaker. Your problem is that you are afraid of what would happen if you tell him. Dearie the WORST that could possibly happen is that he would call off the marriage and that would be your cue that he was not meant to be.

@ poster

You raised a valid point but I would put the blame squarely at the feet of Nigerian women (I am not encouraging stereotypes as what I am about to say does NOT apply to all women).

The truth is that some guys had to learn how to "dumb down" their conversation with women for fear of being labelled nerdy case in point me. I used to enjoy having intellectual conversations with men and women alike but I quickly noticed that most women look at guys with an intellectual side as boring.

They would rather have an inane conversation filled with banalities and flatteries than have a conversation that would actually stimulate their grey matter. So i quickly learned to 'dumb' down the intellectual conversations and tell women exactly what they want to hear.

So the problem is not that men are not interested in intellectual conversations but rather that women have no interest in intellectual conversations and majority of women would look at such a man as boring

Any tribe would do. I am marrying the woman not her tribe.

TheFavoredOne: Evening my good people.
Here's to corroborate some facts stated by some days earlier.
It is true that :
1. The NDDC board was in the Uk sometimes in July to see scholars and check their performances.
2. When asked about the 2014 scholarship scheme at the meeting dere in the Uk, the Nddc representatives expressed their discontentment at the lower-than usual budget of their education sector this year.
3. That probably either the final list is being truncated to match the available funds or that the budget is yet to be signed by the President, hence the delay.
Source : A 2013 phD nddc scholar who was at the meeting.
God bless us all.

Hey Bro can you respond to the PM I sent? I need to ask you something pretty important

rozzay: .
Mr if u have a problem with my endowments been over estimated den dats ur problem not mine nd I speak for myself not any naija gal in which I still repeat I can get any guy I so desire, D fact dat all d gals have rejected u nd no one has approached u for sex is def not my fault so stop transferring aggression ok, make ur comments nd stop been nosy

Of course you can get any guy that you desire! Since the guys you desire are NURTW staff, area boys and bus conductors it is no surprise that you can get them easy.

rozzay: I do not lie abt such thins. Any guy I want I get simple. Am way to talented nd endowed to be rejected

Surely you have an over estimated sense of your rather questionable 'endowments' and this is the major problem of Nigerian girls. Just because you hang around se.x starved boys DOES NOT mean that you can have any man you want.

Don't get it twisted.

tpia1: wow, na so the konji reach, or you just have some irresistible konjifying attraction for women, abi na some "ladies" from village send the woman say make she collect your spam come?

btw when she was chasing you, you couldnt find the door to outside? Seems you enjoyed leading her on the chase.

anyway, lord have mercy sha.

Babe I wish I had an irresistible konjifying attraction!
For some inexplicable reason this particular chic was INSANELY attracted to me and she just wouldn't take no for an answer. No be say i be Dangote pikin but till date I have no idea why she was obsessed with me then. At some point in time she actually stalked me.

The good news is that she got over me after like 6 months and we are actually good friends now.

udemzyudex: The fact that you got A1 in English doesn't mean you shouldn't use your brain well.

If you don't have anything good to say why don't just ignore.

Professor.

Don't you think you should take your own advice Mr. A1? What exactly have you contributed to this thread?

Mr A1.

Is there a part of you that wants to improve your English? I think you should listen to that part

Are you serious or are you kidding??

NO MAN has the right to tell you to unfriend your male friends just because he is insecure, controlling and jealous, period!! And if you are subservient enough to do as he says then the TWO OF YOU DESERVE EACH OTHER!!!

If he tells you to unfriend a particular guy and he gives VALID reasons, that is a legitimate request. But it is still up to you to decide who you want as friends. Please know your self worth as a woman and tell that boy (he cannot be a man) to take a HIKE!

Definitely!!! When a babe once told me she wanted to have my child and she proceeded to ensure that I contributed my precious life force to her dream, nobody told me that I should run. Men the babe chased me from the bedroom to the sitting room and back to the bedroom. I literally had to beg her that I didn't want to have sex. with her. But all my pleas fell on deaf ears and she insisted that she must have sex. with me.

If women could ra.pe men I would definitely have been rap.ed that day and this is no joke. Anyway after begging for hours I was finally able to make her realize that I was not going to sleep with her.

I am going to be the voice of reason and tell the BITTER truth. Fashola made a grave MISTAKE by reversing the increase in school fees. Before we get all emotional and call for my head, the fact is that tertiary education is EXPENSIVE!! Obviously the state government has been subsidizing education but even the pittance that is allocated to LASU is not enough to raise LASU from its current status as a glorified secondary school.

Learning in LASU is akin to learning in a public school such as Ajeromi Ifelodun grammar school (The one in Mile 2 without windows and roofing). And mark my words: The quality of LASU graduates would forever be sub-par as LONG as students pay a pittance as school fees. So please go ahead and rejoice. Rejoice that there would be no proper teaching facilities, labs and infrastructure in LASU. Rejoice that LASU would remain a glorified secondary school. Rejoice that 500 people would be crammed in a classroom meant for 50 people. Rejoice at the poor standard of education in LASU.

Rejoice!!!!

@poster

You have to be firm about breaking up with your present boyfriend. It might sound cruel but it is for the best, trust me. I was in your shoes some time back and even though it broke my heart I had to break up with the woman I was planning to marry. Funny enough I actually sought for advice from Nairaland back then. You have to cut your losses and move on.

Be firm and explain to your boyfriend that the relationship would not work. You said something which was a bit confusing. You stated that you have had problems with your relationships in the past because of your genotype. So why do you keep on dating people that are AS or SS?
Babe you have to shine your eye oh!! Before entering any relationship in future find out the guy's genotype first of all!!

This would save you from unnecessary heartache. Hope this helps