yankite:

@poster,one thing u might not understand is the fact that not all africans
born and raise in africa agrees a %100 with what our culture and so call
moral values has to offer,some just follow it because they care so much abt
what the society will say if they don't.So when they come abroad it an oppurtunity
to exibit this hidded side of them,especially when its a free world like the US OF A.
We african men really wanna eat our cakes and have it,while we criticize our women
if they do the same,we cheat this women alot all in the name of culture and values
while we expect them to stay silent and digest everything we do to them.There should
always be checks and balances in everthign what you can't take don't give,and not to
say that our women sometimes don't take advantage of the fact that they could now dail
911 at the slightess scratch they receive from you,but in most cases we men are always the
the ones who provokes such behavior.And if u think the western man who made laws to
empower women is silly,its has been proven that they are not, in the 2008 US elections
where they would rather vote for a black man to be come president of the united states
than to see a white woman rule the world strongest country.So after all been said and done
they still have limitations to what they will allow or accept from a woman.The problem with we african
men is we are so tied to the past,and we have such empty egos,like for real what is wrong if you occasionally
help your wife to take care of shores that we both agree is for a woman,or are this women supposed to maids
or slaves all in the name of marriage.When we talk about the western world opening our women's eye,why don't
we still kill twin babies when they are born believing that they ar evil,we no what our culture is and we still embrace it,but don't be to tied to it,cuz it will do us more harm than good on the long run.

African marriages can't survive in the west cos the average African man is an illiterate or permit me to say[b] (an educated illiterate)[/b] who does not understand what it means to be the head of his family and likewise the woman a helper. it will take decades for the black man to come to terms and understand what the word HEAD and HELPER means. thereafter, he might act on it

justwise:

You are talking nonsense, u don't need to be educated to be able to run your family. Many educated couples don't even last more than a yr in marriage.

If you are educated and this is your level of reasonsing then i'm worried about your marriage IF u are married.

yodiyokun:

African marriages where everyone accepts that life in western world is different and offers new challenges will survive and even thrive.

A man that provides for his family back home, provides enough for nanny or housekeeper in naija, but in Uk for example both his and spouse's salary no cut am. If he still expects that he should vege all day in front of TV whil expecting food expecting wife to be fully responsible for kids homework, shopping etc is living in lala land.
That means you wan kill the wife be4 her time. If she has any sense in her she will have a conversation about it.

The life here is different, there are different expectations. Both Man and Woman should adjust and everyone should leave their ego at home. Or else the man should go out and make enough for the wife to sit at home fulltime and still take care of her and her responsibilities. She can be homebody then , no wahala, but even that is not easy!

~duchess~:

And what if the wife had been the faithful and supporting type?

Saecula:

It is indeed a cause for concern that the world is headed to disaster. Sex obsession in high places. Young lasses going unclothed in the pretext of MISS SOMETHING. It is abysmal that our psyches and innocent sensibilities has been insulted with immoral, obscene and explicit contents. We the youths do exacerbate this global madness by patting the unscrupulous minds behind these cankerworms at the back. We worsen more the situation more by foolishly and voluntarily trying to get frivolous, ephemeral and meaningless pleasure from these social menace. It is disheartening that Sex is now one of the searched term on the web. Society now want us to believe that we are timid and archaic if we don't flirt with women,watch blue , white and yellow films,unclothed pictures, self-service, have intimacy and engage in other sexual escapades. With this ugly trend , what happens to our future. Oh! the devil is deceiving us .What the heck shall we tell God on the last day. Must we follow the majority? The whole setting and environment now discourages meditation and rumination with its obstreperous nature, at least we would have had a cause for reappraisal and reassessment of the way we lead our lives. Indeed the youths are at risk. I urge all sundry to just sit down, examine his or her life and make amends. May the Lord have mercy upon our souls. Thanks and may the Almighty Father bless and grant all your heart desires as you seek his face . Amen. Hail Mary.

leftone:

been rich starts from the inside.
it just shows they werent equipped to handle the type of money they make.
thats why most yahoo boys dont survive too.
they arent built to handle the money they get.

buzugee:

yes, but those women in nigeria who are taking care of the family, do you know what is happening behind closed doors ?
and as per me, i will not marry a woman for wifely duties. i will marry a woman because i love her personality and her company. if she does her wifely duties or not is irrelevant to me. i can cook and clean. in fact, in most of my relationships we share the cooking and cleaning. its whoever feels like cooking or cleaning that day that will do it. no body is designated to cook or clean.

denzel2009:

I have been using them for long. Now,I look like Alao Akala/ Alaafin of Oyo and I rejoice with Ijo yoyo.

buzugee:

this is all bollocks. if i have seen it once i have seen it a gazillion times. even one of my friends was a victim of his wife earning more than him. women have this in-built mechanism in them that says that they have to be taken care of by men. their are the fairer and weaker sex and hence must be wined, dined, and taken care off. it is how women are hard-wired to think. so if anything deviates from this way of thinking, they are pissed off and get very angry and irritable. if she is the bread winner or earns more, she automatically looks at you with disgust and irritation. everything you do will be irritating to her. even how you eat, or how you walk, or how you talk. its a hardwired-inbuilt mechanism. they cannot help it. lose your $300,000 a year job and quickly watch how your once sweet and polite wife will develop anger management issues. it is what it is. only a few women are not hardwired like that. extremely few. maybe 1 in 5000. so fellas, if you happen to find that 1 in 5000 woman who loves you for just your personality, please keep her,  thats a keeper right there 

Damoche10:

Kindly help! a friend of mine is confused on what to do on either paying his steps's son's school fees or celebrating his only child that is about clocking a year's birthday. He loves his step son like his own. Married his wife a few years back without any child fully knowing she had one out of wedlock and taking responsibiity of this child from when he knew him. Having sending him to Pry Sch and now about getting admission into high school after having passed his
entrance examination. The problem here is that he just moved into an apartment he bought and is cash strapped but could afford either of the two cos the admission and his legitimate son's birthday is just a week apart.

Should he go ahead with the birthday of his son or Pay the step son's school fees? If you were in his shoes what will you do?

greateros:

Frustration, tooo bad

As for wife beating, pray you don't marry the one with koboko on her tongue, discouragement on her lips and ingratitude for her manners

You wouldn't know when u started beating her

Hence my reason for opting to be only a father and not a husband,

Never been married and never will be, and yet a sweet daddy to two lovely sons from different mothers,

gbolahan1:

Your husband is the one you want to impress with your dresses, so if buba or skirt is what makes you look good to him, then go ahead to put it on! Or do you have anything else attached to you wearing trousers? I like ladies in trousers but some men don't. You should know your husband better. If you refuse to do what he wants, a host of ladies are willing to help!

denzel2009:

Dermovate and Shirley work wonders.

denzel2009:

Dermovate and Shirley work wonders.

Uyi Iredia:

i had a similar experience too >>> i was in K.C >>> 9 years at that time >>> this guy (a year my senior) called me to one dark corner to
send me an 'errand'   >>>   i no go give details >>> but suffice to say no anal bursting occured  phew   was i lucky >>> others weren't  
this guy thretened to kill me if i told anyone   >>> seriously i couldn't have cared less >>> luckily i had a confidante in my late mom (of blessed memory)   and i told her >>> she took up the case >>> i dunno what his parents did but when a meeting was called over the issue the guy looked sober >>> talkless of the beating my school father & his mates (in JSS 3 gave him) >>> do the maths & u wonder how kids pick up things like this at such age >>> probably the pastor had devloped the habit in his teens & unforunately not caught

personally >>> i think indecency is a crux in the matter

for the pastor >>>  u reap what u sow

NOTE FOR silly PEOPLE >>> this na true story