₦airaland Forum

^^^^^

sis,

thank you, u heard my cry in the wilderness and you were there.

holding me, lifting me, hugging me.

u were there. if shy-one can ever return the favor, look around, i will be there.

I don't know if your comment was positive or negative as I'm unsure of the vein in which you speak.

I just responded to the writer.  Her husband left the marriage and left her. Basically if you have to beg him or her to stay - it's already over.

I love marriage and hope that everyone's marriage works out well for them.  I wasn't married - I was dating.

Good for you - I hope you and your wife do well.  You sound like a great husband as you have not walked out on your wife.  Bon a petit.

Roger That!!

I say men should definitely run - as this is their life and in turn it is the life of the woman that they will ruin if they tie themselves to something that shouldn't be.

Save us all the headache.

If running is the activity that will assist in your happiness and in the future happiness of the person you are running from - by all means lace up track star, lace up.

^^^^

I know, you are right.  However, one of the other side(s) of me was that I catered to him and deferred to him in most things.

So pride is what I have left - my pride is still intact  - which is my support. I am grateful for my pride as it plays catalyst to my drive and motivation. 
"The Sky is Only the Beginning"

My tears have dried up and life is very, very good.  I still love him.  I left the relationship - he didn't.

We will always be good friends.  God loves him as well as me.  I wish nothing but good on him and his and he's done the same for me. We are both good people - we don't do drama.

greateros:
Damn! Woman cant u see you have a very serious problem?? U need to see a chink ASAP! Before you commit something horrible!!

That your guy must be a superman to have the courage to spend even a day with a recluse like you!

May Gad save men from deranged women like you!

- and a HELLO TO YOU TOO.

[quote author=Mynd_44 link=topic=699332.msg8592249#msg8592249 date=1309068587]^^^
What a load of BS. Seriously, are you a SHRINK or something?[/quote]By Jove----I think HE'S GOT IT!!!   

Don't beg, Don't cry, I too just separated from my guy - tonight.

Does it hurt?  Unimaginably sooo-------but I am beautiful inside and out, the all that I need is God ----- holding me, loving me, not letting me go.   

I strongly encourage you to reach for the you that is still there, get on your knees and be grateful FOR WHAT YOU HAVE.   YOU have YOU,   and that's a fantastic thing.   You cannot get any better than that.

I have me, a me with a high sense of self, a great sense of humor, intellect that rivals soo many others, ability to make things happen, a love from God that is all encompassing and a physical beauty that can get me what I want when I want it (If I so choose to use that charm).

Baby Girl when you show gratitude to GOD - especially in this here difficult time, YOU are rewarded, love God and realize that God brings those to you that are suppose to be there.  Trust God in all that you do.  God didn't leave you so you actually have lost absolutely NOTHING.

Whoever walked away was actually standing in the way of the one that is to come.

Take this as your opportunity to do you boo boo.  DO YOU.

^^ As of tonight ---- Not any more

kandiikane:
^^Was your guy deported back to lagos?

- Kandi - my guy is great - doing great - trouble doesn't associate with him or his activities which are honorable - we're good.

Let's get back on the thread topic - ok?


We have destroyed the thread

let's do something - anything to get it back on topic

I'm not going to respond to anything on this thread but thread topics - I don't want my Member ID to be banned - guys

ok - please

dayokanu:
Shy-one,

You are too kind.

If you werent hooked, I would have bagged you for myself.

There were several comments in the thread that should have angered you but you took it in, Kudos.

Now I need to marry you, And dont bother saying No because you dont have a choice,

An AFrican gets what an AFRICAN wants especially if you are Nigerian and Yoruba like me

Thanks -

tom28:
Shyone before coming to the US i used to have a positive image about the AAs but coming to the US has opened my eyes to the extreme hatred by AAs towards africans.Some use words like pouch monkeys towards africans and claim how superior they are to africans because of the blood they have and blah blah blah.Many of them make fun of africans who listen to rap and the most funny thing of all is they make monkey sounds when they come across an african.Whwn they notice you you are african you see the resentment in their eyes and such.It is their hatred and ignorance that we africans react to strongly and when we do they vent about it.It is ok for a black american female standup comedian to make fun of hungry babies in the sudan and somaliabut when we africans insult them they vent about it.I just hope some of my fellow nigerian brothers back in nigeria should come to the US and really see what the AAs really think about africans.

I know of what you speak - It is painful and it is humiliating and it completely embarrasses me to hear of it.  Tom what can we do to collectively work together to "prevent OUR accepting it to allow this type of destructive behavior to take root IN US?"

Bitterness is a hard pill to swallow - it burns the stomach and incubates disease and hatred among us ----- keeping separation between us.  

I'm willing to step towards you WILL YOU STEP TOWARDS ME?

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=694530.msg8586316#msg8586316 date=1308974220]You don't have to agree with me and you don't have to use the NIGGER word.  If you thought like a nigger you wouldn't be dating an African now.    

Again it must be in your area that blacks complaining about Africans taking jobs and Indiana along with a few other states are known for having lazy complainers.  No offense.[/quote]ok

I don't know about people in Indiana - I have been gone for over 10 years and just moved from Wisconsin the end of 2010 so I've been back in the area only a little over 6 months.  I have been closeted behind the walls of my business that I relocated from Wisconsin to Indiana - preparing it to open to the public so I'm not sure what you are talking about regarding Indiana or lazy complainers.    What I spoke of - didn't have to do with location (where people are located) as I have lived in 16 different states in the U.S. and heard this in all of those locations.

No offense taken - You are Your Experience. (You are What you Eat) - When the Experience expands You Expand.

as far as you expanding yourself and capitalizing on options

you reap what you sow - how you handle this situation with this "white girl" will also overshadow you in the workplace and your place in that Nubian Kingdom you refer to

i would highly suggest that you handle that situation quite carefully as your blessings come from God - not from the white girl, an oil company or your prospects in Nigeria but how you treat your fellow man and fellow woman - God doesn't see color - he sees intent and actions.

leave your white girlfriend?

do you hear yourself?

life isn't all about money.  so what was the white girlfriend for if you are on NL asking strangers?  you trust us more than you trust her?  i assume you have slept together and she has had your back on different levels (so you would kick her to the curb or keep her just off the words of NL strangers?)

she should ask God to reveal who you really are to her so she can stop wasting her time and find someone worthy of her and her qualities.

^^^ He said it all.

Shy-one applauds.

@ Pure

Please, please, please forgive us for the pages of "off topic"

Sorry for the disrespect

I will definitely focus on the topic.

I saw Tpiah trying to bring it back. I will join in too.

So have you taken any of your new NL profiles (males) up on any of their offers?

Some sound quite genuine. Just be careful. Do you want us to help you filter through the offers?

tom28:
r]
Mz darkskin i have given up trying to change the views of racist AAs and africans.What i have come to see in the USA is that AAs hate african,africans hate AAs,whiteys hate both AAs and africans,AAs hate mexicans,while both the AAs and whiteys hate the native americans.So the USA is a country built on hate and maybe this could explain its agressive wars towards the 3rd world countries in both the middle east and in africa.The USA is not as racially intergrated as it claims because self imposed racial segregation is common.In school you see the asians going their own way,the africans keeping to themselves as well as the AAs.If u are a very dark skinned africans the AAs would ridicule such a person and make fun of his accent and hence this could be why many africans come up with fake yankee accents and especially common with we nigerians because other africans are indifferent when the AAs make fun of their accents.

Please don't give up - there are some of us that don't hate - have we been misled at times? Yes - most definitely - but guess what? we found you, you found us - so let's just do this. Do I agree with what you have written here? ABSOLUTELY - YOU HAVE NAILED IT ON THE HEAD - each of your statements. So what do we do? We just need to be that motivating, meaningful factor of change.

We have identified these problems let's join hands on this thing and start walking our talk for a better tomorrow. I do appreciate what you've said - many of us have been harsh and angry including myself. NL brought us together - Let's do something about this, We are all important to our groups, We haven't been shy in speaking our minds, So let's be actively aggressive about changing some things by starting with Numero Uno 0- moi.

dayokanu:
I am glad that we are able to come to some agreement here.

Most Africans before stepping on US soil are soo enthralled by the idea of a free world where everyone is a millionaire until they get discriminated against and most painfully by ppl of the same color

Naturally such ppl would just withdraw back into their comfort zone of fellow Africans.

The sad part is that this discrimination starts from early childhood, An immigrant 7yr old girl in elementary school is quickly made to know she isnt one of "them" cos of her accent and very nubian features. She thereby withdraws into her own group where she wont be discriminated against

Dayo - I am glad too. I guess it took some constant communication to get to this point. Was the communication harsh at times? Yes, But sometimes it takes that for us to realize what we are doing.

We have to hear ourselves as we speak to others about these types of issues.

I do definitely agree with what you wrote here. Thank you for your input. Now I see why the groupings go on more so in the U.S. - self protection. I can relate to that little girl. I was one and these type of things happen quite frequently to people of color and if the accent is thick even more so. I do agree with you. Thank you for expanding our thought here.

Yes - Let's do something about this.

MzDarkSkin:
[color=indigo]
@tom you say the black race is divided but what are you doing to enlighten the "ignorant akatas" and africans alike? absolutely nothing. Instead you come on here and without shame seem to enjoy typing the stereotypes of AAs without taking the time to credit those who have reached out to foreigners and looked at the ignorant ones as being "lost brothers/sisters". I came on this site to understand about Nigeria and to see if the stereotypes about Nigerians were true not to mention kill a few that I saw some ignorant members typing about my own people. I have been embraced and disrespected by Nigerians (and wanna-be Nigerians aka other Africans on this site who think being African they are entitled to disrespect me as well  ) alike. At times I would think to myself that all Nigerians are rude, ignorant and arrogant - all out of anger but then I had to check myself and remembered the many on this site who have showed me love and interest in my two ethnicities. It would be wrong to label all because of some. Perhaps you too can take on the same attitude. Life is too short. You will find we blacks from all over have too much in common than difference.

Since we are on the subject some of you Africans need to really check your attitudes for real just as you want us to. Some Africans go to foreign countries after having already conditioned their minds against western blacks based on hear-say and what they have seen on tv. The same way we are perceived and portrayed to be thugs with no ambition is the same way you all are looked at and depicted in the west as being "bush, crazy, village inhabitants, monkies, smelly, and primitive"  (I am being VERY SERIOUS!) and many AAs and some Caribbeans are not being told otherwise and therefore regard Africa as being a horrible place. They become uninterested in doing the research themselves to find out fact from fiction. This results in their asking ignorant questions to Africans some of which use this to justify the beliefs that we western blacks are "fo0ls". Slavery messed us ALL up on both sides of the Atlantic. What is ok in Africa we are told to laugh and scorn and what we do most Africans do not approve of such as a woman having children by different men, but the key thing is: SLAVERY. You cannot look at our skin and assume we are exactly in tune with the ways of our distant ancestors. We are talking over 400 years of separation, so the best thing to do is self educate and to educate.[/color]

I love the majority of what you have typed here sis. I love it, I so deeply agree with you. So let's start somewhere - we can start with ourselves. One man/woman can really move mountains.

kandiikane:
@Shy-one, as you can see Africans do not go to America with negativity towards African Americans its only when they have encountered negativity from AAs their views of them changes.

I came to the UK thinking the same thing, better life,easier but I have had many horrible experience from british born blacks and from Carribbeans and because of that my views of the blacks (being one)changed.

Hey Kandi - I agree with you here. I feel terrible that you went through what you went through in the UK. Your story is similar to countless AA's as well. You know when I see people mistreat others the foundation to that mistreatment is that "They treat others in the manner in which they are being treated."

That isn't to excuse them on ANY LEVEL. But when you see a NL full of venom or a stranger in person who is just disagreeable or loud or bossy or loving or kind or gentle or WHATEVER - you can bet that they are mirroring the treatment that they are accustomed to receiving and/or are receiving.

The first time I saw another African American or even another black person beside my own siblings and parents and possible 3 other blacks in the town - the first time I saw more than 10 blacks in my life - I was 12 years of age. Before I turned 12 - for 12 years I only saw a handful of blacks in my life. I also had never seen poverty or slums or people fighting or hanging out until all hours until I turned 12 when we moved from Colorado to the heart of Mississippi. I was absolutely thrilled and then my thrill turned to fear, anger, etc. As the mistreatment I received for the first time in my life was from my own kind. SO I can definitely relate to what you have posted.

Hey = I can promise you that I can definitely "Start with Me" and my behavior and make every attempt to be kinder and gentler in my approach. We can teach ourselves and un-teach ourselves. We can give love and good treatment to others.

Shy-One grabs Kandi hugging her hard. Forgive me my dear. I want you to have a wonderful Friday and coming weekend. If there is anything that I can do for you please don't hesitate to ask and if it is in my power - I will grant it to you.

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=694530.msg8585053#msg8585053 date=1308948281]There are two type of black people in America regardless of where you come from. Niggers and Blacks. Even Chris Rock did a eepisodespeaking about the difference between Niggers and Blacks in America.

Blacks aren't complaining about other "Africans" taking jobs because Africans have it just as hard as Blacks in America. They are complaining about racial discrimination in the workplace and salary.

Niggers complaining about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.

Blacks study hard and continue until they have reached the highest level. Move on to take care of their families and mentor to other children in communities about education and financial literacy.

Niggers do not study hard and drops out of school. Some sell drugs and some end up in jail. Many have multiple sex partners and bunch of children with all nationalities of women not just Black women.


Now you see the difference so what you and Tom28 just described are EPITOME OF NIGGERS even Niggers are coming from other parts of the world.[/quote]I'm sorry I don't agree with anything you just wrote here - The "N" word I don't use and many, many blacks - especially in my income bracket are offended on so many different levels to hear it used in any context.

Also - I stand by what I wrote earlier Blacks do complain when "foreigners fill jobs---even more so in this economy."

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=694530.msg8584742#msg8584742 date=1308945284]I do not live in NY nor I live in a very diverse area. My lifestyle affords me to meet various of people all over America and Africa. I have met Africans who share Jerry Jr aka Tom48 views and Africans who do not share Jerry Jr views.

You are welcome to attest to anything that you see in your neighborhood and I don't have an issue with it. Just because I agree with Kandi on the word choice theory doesn't mean I have anything to do with the debate.

I am not into dictating people so if they do not want to "live" a little that on THEM. I have traveled outside of America and seen more than WHAT MAJORITY OF Americans and Africans wish they could see. When people travels OUTSIDE of their area/country they will know better. Unfortunately MILLIONS will never have the privilege do so.[/quote]Oh - not in NY? I thought that was your location some time back - I must have misread your posts. Anyway sorry for directing a question your way. Sounds good.

tom28:
Thank God you see the truth in what i am saying.I speak from what i have experienced .It is not only africans who come across hate in the USA but hispanics as well.White americans are fond of refering to mexicans as orange pickers and even AAs have joined on the hate towards mexicans.In America  everybody spends a better part of his time hating other ppl.Today they will blame the mexicans for this and that.Shyone i bet you heard about the story of a six yr old mexican girl who was shot dead by a group of white vigilantes.The most heart rendering part of this story was that this little girl was pleading for her life b4 they shot her.I was taken aback when i came across a group of white americans and black americans who said the death of the little girl was justified because mexicans are illegal aliens in the US.

I am horrified ----  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1350721/Girl-9-father-shot-dead-anti-immigrant-vigilantes-begged-life.html - this is what you speak.  I believe it completely.  I had not heard.  But I believe it.  Mexicans/Hispanics (many hate to be called Mexican in the U.S.) march FOR CITIZENSHIP --- whites use them illegally at factories and in their homes as servants, maids, etc, and these same Mexicans pay taxes and aren't allowed to live as citizens - I did several research papers on this very topic, spoke to many human rights groups about this. Whites hate when they march for their freedom.  I have lots of white friends that had the nerve to make horrible comments (these people are in the church) - none of the White Americans or Black Americans parents are native to America - everyone's ancestors came from somewhere else.

My church is all white - we are the only blacks in the church - has been that way since I was 14 years of age.  Some years ago.  My mom has been on the Board of Directors for that church and held several positions at the church.  Anyway, she joined several groups to "fight for immigrants-Mexican/Haitian/African" - the church told her to step down.  I was enraged, she was dumbstruck.  They told her to step down---don't involve the church in any political endeavors.  They also fired the Mexican Woman who was hired to clean the church, this same woman's daughter attends our Sunday School and the mother attends church service every Sunday.  They fired her because she confessed to being an "Illegal Immigrant" -  she comes and confesses in tears so the church can help her and they fired her.   I just am appalled.  The majority of our members are Republicans and so-called upstanding citizens of significance in the community. 

Tom - I tell you this isn't a battle over color - the real battle is strictly a resource battle.  Blacks hate the Mexicans because they take the jobs.  Whites hate the blacks because they take the jobs.  It is a resources battle.  Whites turn it into a racist battle as does AA's towards Africans.  Fearing that Africans will come from out of the country and take what AA's have fought to get for generations.

That is my deep belief.  I have observed and researched and researched.  It is a resource battle that is then turned into a racist battle to make people feel less than people to intimidate them to "not succeed."  THAT IS TRUTH.

Mama

You are a very attractive girl - you look to be in College.  College can be quite tough especially the relationships and social interacting.  You look like you stay quiet and observe alot. 

This I Have found and I hope it will help you.

Everyone is important - even more so, so are you.  Hang out with them and stay quiet and observe, don't make them feel unimportant.  They many times, especially in college, they as well as you are reaching and sensing and searching and growing into who you are and who you are going to be.  A lot of college kids "talk really big and talk as though they know it all." 

Mama - just hang - let them talk, inside they fear just like you do - know that - they just want to be accepted and they don't know how to go about it and so they reach and try - many of them "try too hard" and it comes across as them "speaking as though they are important."

Here is a secret:  If they are trying that hard to impress the crowd of onlookers - they very well could be wanting to impress you so that you can be part of their circle.

Show-offs only show-off for attention - take it as a compliment.  Swallow your aggravation and don't misread your opponent - that person could very well wind up to be a lifetime friend.

Relax around them and smile and just listen and wait and listen - they will show their cards to you - sooner versus later.  They want your eyes and your ears.  They want you to look and listen.  Because they must think you are the important one because they are using their time to get your attention.  They probably aren't even aware that you aren't enjoying the show.

You have impressed them enough to want to hold your attention.

Thief:

Wow---I haven't bashed anyone, neither have I told anyone to shut up or to be quiet.  But you my dear seem to think that "it is your right" to do just that. And for some odd reason you have taken it upon yourself to direct your delusions of grandeur at me. Wake up and stop dreaming, you have no connection to me to direct me, tell me or order me to do anything.

Hey "Slap-Happy" --- let's switch gears for a moment and try to keep up-----this might go a little too fast for you, I don't want to lose you because it seems as though you need a little help my dear.

What's "reetarded" is that weave you got going on.  You shouldn't attack others unless you present a "flawless front, "  I wouldn't be caught dead in that mess you seem to think is "In Vogue" on your head.

I don't usually visit profiles - but it amazes me how disturbed you have been by the "little comments" I made on a very people-friendly topic such as dating.  You seem sooo upset with me.  You over-react to opinions that don't concern you?  My opinion is my opinion that I will voice----so what.  Move forward.  What happened did a man overlook you for a Single Mother?  Did this topic his a nerve with you?  Your anger and writer-shadowing are quite misplaced.

If you spend the "needed time on your appearance" versus my beliefs you wouldn't be wearing unacceptable off-matched hair on such an attractive face.  But your reading selections that you have waved as a flag are deplorable so why should I expect anything quality out of you in terms of your appearance?  You should have spent more time in the mirror versus bashing strangers who are in their downtime trying to also enjoy NL as you do?

Did you visit one of those cheap chinese hair product stores?  I'm good in that area too.  Here's a TRUE TIP:   That synthetic hair doesn't work well with your black tresses.  Your hair even permed is too negroid in feature and doesn't resemble the hair you have either glued or had sewn onto your head.  Human Hair is what you want to opt for if you insist on making us look at your weave.  Your natural hair's texture is not as glossy and shiny as the extensions you sport.  The top of your hair lays too flat and dull while the extensions make me feel like I should be wiping the oil and glare off my computer screen that is bouncing off that phony pony. 

But knowing you EVEN ON THE OBVIOUS TRUTH I JUST TYPED - you will call it and me a liar - though your own bathroom mirror defends my position.  The venom and anger you spew when I write anything that requires reading - take that energy and focus on your appearance and in up-scaling your literary achievements.  Go into a bookstore and buy some books.  Get off that time wasting blog.  Have you heard of News Week or the Christian Science Monitor?  Put some Pulitzer into your reading.

Here's some websites that can enlighten you and introduce you to some quality individuals that do a whole lot more http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-African-American-Leadership-Council/216023013979, http://www.tavistalks.com/events/signatureevents/stateoftheblackunion, NIgerianWorldForum@ yahoogroups. com, NaijaPolitics@ yahoogroups. com; NIDOA@yahoogroups. com; naijaintellects@googlegroups. com - TRUST me you'll learn a whole lot more here than on that garbage blog you currently frequent.

Enlighten yourself so the rest of us can get a break.  Grow up, abeg.

adconline:
Yes, it's hard explaining to Nigerians that a Nigerian living in the US can be broke as hell let alone telling them that AAs are this and that. When you talk about AAs, Nigerians have more positive images of successful AAs like Oprah,50cents, Jay-Z than folks who are struggling in the hood. Folks in the hood hardly get any prime time spot on TV in Naija. Most Nigerians form their opinions based on what they see on tv---Minus wars, positive images of US dominate most Naija airwaves.Unlike in the US, where negative images of Africa dominate their airwaves. Going by the above stated scenarios, A Nigerian is more inclined to have a more positive image of an American including AA than an American would have of a Nigerian without any travel. Nigeria is one the countries that has a high favorable view of the US, while reserve is not the case.

I completely agree with you. When I explained to my guy who is in Lagos the above he was surprised and I was surprised that he was surprised. That Nigerians can be broke in the U.S. But he was very enlightened on the U.S. as he has family that lives in the U.S. who he talks to via phone regularly. He knew the negative images of AA's in the U.S. especially the youth.

But as soon as Nigerians or any other ethnicity steps off the plane onto U.S. soil they immediately see the myths dispelled. I am not talking about Nigerians in Nigeria ---- I was speaking SPECIFICALLY about how Nigerians view AA's once they have lived in America and vice versa. I made that clear. It is obvious that TV and the internet are a person's teacher if you have never been to the other country. Same as California - we see Hollywood and beautiful homes - then you go to California and you see the bad areas which are more massive in size than the good areas which TV didn't show. Or that if you get out of your car and you have on the wrong color, you can still get your brains shot out by a gun in the wrong area of California from the gangs that are in high existence.

tom28:
And maybe that is why the crime rate is increasing in nigeria because every body wants to be a street thug.Lil Wayne,DMX and the other street thugs rappers are not reliable models for young blacks but since we look up to them this can explain why our black communties are messed up both in the african community and the black american community.Funny thing is that many blacks consider Obama as an uncle tom because he"s educated but then he"s good enough role model for we africans.But hey as long as we blacks look at 50cents,Lil Wayne and the others as our role models we would always be messed up.Look at the way Hip hop has affected your AA youths with the result that many now have an anti social attitude with many of them skipping school and getting involved in gangs.

Very true.

tom28:
Americans(both white and AA alike)have a negative view of non americans.They regard the mexicans as a group of subhumans who sell oranges and eat taco all day while they regard africans as apes and bootyscratchers.I recall sometime ago there was this female black american standup comedian who made a joke about starving african kids in the sudan and was saying something about the UN sending them some bunch of bananas and her audience laughing hard over the joke.In some schools the AA students make fun of very dark skinned african students and in this could explain why many africans over  here tend to make up fake american accents and pass off themselves as black americans in order not to be taunted.

I hate to say this because it is painful - WHAT YOU HAVE WRITTEN is absolutely true.  I didn't want to go this far in my posting as far as description because I didn't want to hurt anyone.  But even the small amount I posted on this topic - I was torn into as though I feel this way.  I just stated what I have observed since I was in ELEMENTARY SCHOOL in this country. My friends have been Korean, African American, African and White. So I hear what AA's say about whites and about Africans and I hear what Africans say about AA's and about Whites.

I do agree with Adconline though as far as when it comes to brutality AA's seem to be more hateful towards Africans than the opposite. But I actually have met some Africans who have come to the U.S. and returned to their country full of venom for AA's, Whites and America in general. Very sad.

You are correct.  I think in larger cities it is better.  It is also better when Africans live in a highly populated African area.  But in small towns I have witnessed it for years.  Most People have problems dealing with "people that are different than they are."  That is what I was told.

So it is for "us" to do something about it to change what goes on.  You have to educate each other.  Because it is unacceptable and inhumane.

ahahahahaha - lolololololol - @ Chima and Tom 28 - you guysssss - lololololololololol = caught me off guard a bit

OK @ adconline

It is interesting and maybe I didn't take the necessary time to word my statements so you or KK could understand well enough.  I stand by the effort I made to describe to you the reactions that I, family members, neighbors, coworkers, college students (I supervised 29 undergraduate students at UW Madison - Grainger Hall School of Business), etccc - toooo many more to keep listing---who, what and where.  Trust me - this isn't my personal thoughts or beliefs - these are what I see everyday in my face on sooo many different levels.    

When I stated what I stated - it was a collective thought I have observed over the years that a LARGE MAJORITY of Africans and African Americans "how MANY of them view each other."  My statements weren't for a miniscule few.  This is in the U.S.  

I find that since I stated what I stated - I am "under attack" as though - my statements were "how I feel about Africans."  If I felt that way about Africans - I wouldn't waste my time "dating one."  I responded to a thread.  The Africans and AA's that I see who feel this way are the "30's and up group."  Which is definitely true here in the U.S.  Do all of them feel that way?  Of course not, but a large majority definitely do.

I have lived in 16 States in the U.S. and have dealt quite heavily with many groups of Africans over some years.  Because I deal with quite a few Africans - I have also been privy to how many AA's see Africans because I am approached by many AA's questioning me about Africans that they either see me with, are aware of my dealings with them and I receive comments and conversations about Africans from AA's.  So I do indeed here the negatives and the positives as this is my area.

Being Black in America - Both Africans and AA's suffer from issues of "self image" that is quite low.  I see that as well.

NL writers should many times "just read" - before hurling themselves into threads on the attack.  If a reporter reports the news - first check its validity before slandering the reporter for printing what everyone else sees and knows but just won't say.  I lived in Eagle Heights which is predominantly foreigners on campus at UW-Madison. UW-Madison has in excess of 40,000 students attending its University. NL's - writer named Fstranger can attest to just how F'd up Wisconsin's stance is to anything black and he can attest to his experience in America and how the groups view each other. This isn't just Shy-one's opinion - this is my observation. I am going to hold that it is definitely the MAJORITY popular opinions.

I can safely say that I have spent quite a bit of time in several states observing how Africans and AA's (a large %) of them interact here in the U.S. and the views they hold about each other.  A great deal of what I have said IS VERY TRUE.  How they interact in Nigeria, I don't know because I am not in Nigeria, How they interact outside of the U.S, I know not that either.

I am speaking from what I have seen for many years here in the States.  I do know that those who are second and third generation Africans aren't as rigid as their parents but what I say definitely holds true for the older generations.  I have many AA friends who won't deal with an African on any level especially those who have lived in large cities.  I actually had to turn my back on 2 male friends of mine that had a real problem with me dealing with Africans.  And those friends didn't bite their tongue at all, some of the words that they said were very forceful and negative and they upbraided me for spending anytime with an African.  One of those friends is a retired Chicago Police Officer and the other works for the City of Madison Wisconsin in Administration.

So I'm not even sure how "relevant" your tearing my posts apart paragraph by paragraph is going to change the very "real situations" that I described----and I only printed the minor ones, it is much worse than I shared.  TRUST ME.  Your disagreeing, still doesn't remedy the situation between Africans or AA's over here in the states.

You can believe that what you see as "Shy-One's Viewpoint" - isn't my personal View-point at all ---- it is what is going on over here that I posted.

Chima - maybe in NY it is better because you live in a very diverse area where there are millions of Africans, Arabs, etc,  people from all over the world.  But 3/4 of the U.S. isn't made up of large cities.  There are more small towns in the U.S. that have backward thinking - unevolved people that live here and can and will stand up and attest to what I typed.  There are some really ignorant Whites and AAs in the U.S.  who I run into everyday and have to leave their presence because I just don't have the time or the energy to devote.  Same as some writers on NL - I just have to move on, they just can't understand and I don't have the wherewithal to keep explaining it any further.  You have to let people "live a little" to see it for themselves.

Behind bobo:
Why not.I ve dated three single mothers in d past n they were too good.I m a single father at the moment and my female friends don't see that as a big deal

That's great

I find that what you say is definitely true------when someone wants you, they care less about your relatives, siblings or children. They find you just as interesting whether you have children or not.

Anyway - I must have hurt your feelings by hitting some truths yesterday - I have been on NL for every bit of 3 minutes and I find you waiting for me.

Well back to work for me.  Think what you want to think - I could care less - you are a NON-FACTOR.

I highly suggest that you spend some time in the mirror working on yourself so your self-esteem can escalate to a high enough level so you can "get out of my life and get into your own" and so that you can figure out how to post without attacking others.  Stop running behind me - be your own woman - instead of doing the copycat routine --- "when I post ----then you post."  This isn't "Simon Says." sheeesh

Focus on the topics and post your experience so we can learn something from you.  You have shared very little of significance - try to contribute something so we can learn from you.  Spend your time better - if you are jealous work on improving yourself so you can have an agenda.

Living your life attacking other people will make you bitter and angry --- get on your paper ---- craft out a career for yourself to occupy your time.  You aren't making any money wasting time with the BS venom you spend quite a bit of time spewing at others.

What you just posted - you read those types of FLava-Flav - ghetto non-factor musings?

Now I see why you complained about my postings - IT WAS OVER YOUR HEAD - you are uneducated and you dislike me because you can't sit at the same table in conversation or intellect.

The link you posted - they don't speak good English - they seem jobless - the postings are repulsive

but you post it as something to admire and you actually listen to the posters as though they have "truth and validity to offer"

Now I look at you for what you are  "birds of a feather flock together."

Wowwww - I can definitely see that someone like me would "get on your nerves."

Post articles from noteworthy sources sweetie - Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, New York Times - step up your game

You go to a nondescript BLOG that features curse words, improper english and use that as your source of reference and tell us to look?  Go to Black Magazines that are reputable.  When you step to me or shadow me in an attempt to "bully" or whatever it is you "think you are doing" - BRING IT.  

Don't type BS-----you aren't even aware of your opponent ---- if you were you wouldn't have posted this piece of "rag" that nobody has heard of -----and let alone reads.   hahahahahaha

Aren't there other writers that you can shadow?

I find it weird that you can't seem to step away from me.

Why so obsessed?

U.S. culture and African culture - completely different

In the U.S. - men will most definitely date single mothers without batting an eye and MARRY THEM - everywhere you look.  It means nothing over here.  More men date single moms here than the other way around from what I see.  Friends, coworkers, neighbors, relatives - it is NORMAL to see men dating women with children and marrying them - that is a way of life in the U.S.

So if you are an African woman who has children and you are single and move to the States or if your spouse leaves you - you can basically walk outside and not worry or be concerned that because you have children, that is NOT A TURN OFF for the men in the States because they will be asking for your number - it is not taboo to date single moms or single dads in the States.

When I was right out of High School - my boyfriend actually left me for a very attractive Single Mom - he said that she was responsible and had more maturity about herself-----she was a woman where I was still "too young acting.  I didn't cook, clean, etc.

I was stunned but such is life.  It sure gave me a much better understanding that "what I thought was the way things should be----was actually the opposite."

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=695105.msg8575606#msg8575606 date=1308834966]As I have stated not everybody are dating or married to someone whose spouse is DEAD.  It is okay for YOU because you do not have to deal with the baby momma/daddy drama.  Lucky for you. 

You have stated before that you do not like drama or engages into drama so if your dude were still dealing with his baby momma and she were like the ones on Maury Povich show I am sure YOU WOULDN'T even waste your time.  Trust on that. 

There are number of reasons why people do not want to date nor marry single parents it is not a BAD THING.  You are emotionally invested because you are dating a single parent of three kids from previous relationship. If you weren't dating one, you would be less passionate about it.  If you are so gung ho about "someone trash is someone treasure" then why not also be passionate about other threads as well that "discriminates" people?  Exactly.

It doesn't matter those five single parents that you know personally making a dollar more than someone who has no children that STILL DOESN'T mean someone should settle for a single parent.  WTF.       Sample parameters doesn't represent all. 

I did not read the rest of the book you wrote but You are entitled to your choices so as others are as well. 

There ARE STILL going to be people who DO NOT WANTS OR WILL NOT MARRY single parents.  I do not see why this is a big deal.[/quote]hmmmm ok - lolololol - baby mama drama doesn't occur with everyone----those that act like talk show "horror episodes" has alot to do 1) uneducated and 2) youth who many times have very ghetto mentalities----let's hope that you date a single parent that has education and doesn't conduct themselves like the out of control individuals on television. Let's hope those who do date single parents choose those who operate from a base of quality. 

hahahahahah - girl you are something else. lololololol - gotta love ya Chima.


[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=695105.msg8575665#msg8575665 date=1308835517]You should have did the same thing but you didn't so pot calling the kettle black.   Tsk. Tsk.

Don't take what people say to heart it is very draining.  It is not worth it.[/quote]ok - nothing taken to heart - just responding to threads "like I always do" - Have a good Friday Chima -