₦airaland Forum

Put God first

I found mine online

Actually - I wasn't looking AT ALL - he found me online

He is genuine, the real deal

Treats me like gold - I love him so,

You can do it ---- but don't

Let God do it. I wasn't in the market to actively date ----

There is someone out there looking for someone like you.

God knows every person on the planet he sees your life partner - so quit wasting time and ask God to point him in your direction and you in his direction - once you do that - it because effortless and a fantastic experience.

No, No and Absolutely Not and if I have to tell him NO - he is not the one for me anyway.

Thank you for opening this thread - I am going to copy the link and email it to him - just so that we are on the same page.

I love gifts from him.

It gives me a clear picture of who he is and what he likes

His gifts say if he is a cheap individual or if he is a quality person

Gifts are reflective of who you are. But saying the words Love are just as important to me. I want your everything - you, your words and your gift.

Yes, give it to me baby.

Happy Birthday to you 190

You are an odd character

There are times that I love your words and your thoughts

But your ways of talking about women smh smh

Regardless of how I feel - i wish you a wonderful BD to you.  I gift you with this piece of advice:  Leave the multiple women alone and focus on your ONE AND ONLY.

Party, have fun, be careful and Don't get cake on your face!!!!

Leilah:
This is an interesting topic, I once went to a wedding about five years ago and wore a dress with sleeves and to the knee but the chest part was very revealing. My husband asked if I could put the scarf over them, he is not muslim but I have a very large bosom. So I did. Anyways, I know some naija women married who are quite overweight and wear hit pants, halter neck tops, mini skirts, tight shorts etc with very very low cut tops and are in dire need of a good support bra. Like I nearly died when I saw this, no clothes on and this little tie wrapped around their neck. Naija women are the best! they are the best wives, mothers and cooks etc. I really admire them. But if I put this to hubby about the unclothedness of some of them he says 'thats her and her nonsense dress' I have to dress as he would like. As a muslim non practising, I kinda agree. He tells me to 'keep away' from this sort.

I know someone who wears a very short dress, she is really dark, the dress is sleevless and white and you can see the black bra and knickers underneath. Her hubby is in Naija.

wowww - my guy WOULD NEVER ALLOW - I would not be allowed out of the house and wouldn't be allowed to wear something like that out of the bedroom as there are other people living in the house as well.

I love dresses and clothes but have to be very modest in my dress - feminine and colorful - but modest - I cannot wear just anything - his mouth says I can wear whatever I want to wear but his eyes say completely different. I can read people very well.

Thirst4Lif:
Women dress in a certain fashion because they think it makes them look good.

I don't think it gets any more complicated than that! The pictures of Stacey Dash cannot

be taken into account. She is 'posing' seductively for a men's magazine. Big difference.

It matters not her pose. The girl is on and popping - there is no denying - several doctors have looked at Stacey Dash and said that no surgery has she had and IF SHE HAD ANYTHING - THAT IS A BIG IF - maybe botox and just a little - IF SHE DID.

I posted the pictures - not because of her posing but that she is an older woman who has kept herself together over the years - WITHOUT SURGERY - she is very natural. If she didn't pose or wear seductive clothes there is no denying that she is an older woman - IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW HER - you would take her to be very young.

That is why I posted the photos. I see in Nigeria that the society thinks that a woman past a certain age is WASHED up and shouldn't be treated or viewed in a sexy manner. THAT IS SOO WRONG.

It takes stepping out of a certain thought process to see things quite differently.

My issue with women who are older is that you can dress attractively without wearing teenager style clothes which are inappropriate because of your station in life. There are some very flattering clothes that don't fall in the "mumu" category that look beautiful and sexy - but also cover more of your physique - as a married woman - you can look great without embarrassing yourself, your husband and your kids. A little above the knee is good without going too far up the leg. Also shirts with the backs out are good to the waist but not to the nyansh. Not showing any breast but still wearing a top that "just covers the breast" is still good.

You can dress seductively without looking like a tramp.

yes - she is determined and stays on course - NONE OF THIS IS PHOTO SHOPPED

She might have gotten some botox and that's a maybe - because you do see some lines on the forehead - many physicians have looked at her and stated very little cosmetic surgery is any at all - that she is natural.

Good living - REGULARLY - getting proper rest, EATING RIGHT, not much alcohol, regular exercise - maintaining

You can look sexy, delicious, healthy, young, attractive at any age. Put God first and everything else is a trickle down effect. Keep beauty in your sight. Negativity keeps the face old, bitter, angry and unproductive as it ages the body with speed.

I completely admire ol girl. BIG TIME.

She is 45 years old and has 2 children

Her body looks better than 90% of 22 year old women.

So poster - what do you have to say about old and age?  It ISN'T ABOUT AGE - it's about how YOU age.

You can do it beautifully and gracefully or you can look tore up from the floor up.

Women can have a sex life through ANY AGE.  Men and women can look good - good nutrition, exercise, staying away from the wrong crowd.  Not touching weed, liquor --- sucking up the fruits, vegetables, water and more importantly keeping God first.

^^ - you are correct

Recently while in college here in the U.S. - my professors at University Wisconsin-Madison - over and over again especially in economics and political science and government classes - discussed China and its acquired emerging position these past 10-15 years (how it has grown and will occupy a place as a Global Super Power and will be in the top 3 or top 5 in the world).

Also, from a consumer point of view and movie watcher - the Chinese have been major investors in Hollywood in the past 10-15 years as well. It was noted to me that the Hollywood landscape is changing to feature quite a few Asians in commercials, movies - especially in background scenes many of the actors are Asian - more so than usual. That was pointed out to me and I was told to take note.

most people taste food for seasoning purposes.

how does a vegetarian - cook for a meat eater and not do taste tests? to sample what she will feed her husband/mate/bf? that's odd

also - foreigners - who used to be meat eaters and turn to vegetarians for health reasons will still cook meat for those in the house.

i know quite a few women who will cook meat here and not eat it because they changed their eating habits

[quote author=noble_gas1 link=topic=678289.msg8420310#msg8420310 date=1306762008]Vegetarians just dey waste dere time and dont know wat dey missin!!!![/quote]please - your profile photo is beautiful - where is that?

Ekpoma1:
Yes, no matter what a woman says wrong about other men when she sees the man she truly love, she mellow. As in the man that touches the soft spot in her heart, that takes her 2 cloud 9 n bought her blackberry. No matter how mean a woman his 2 other men outside, there always that one she dear not try that with.

He speaks TRUTH!

My heart melts with my guy and for my guy ----- not so much for others. I don't intentionally try to be rude to other men ---- especially those that speak intelligent and speak truth --- I will engage in great convos with those that are intelligent and speak well.

Hello All:

MIA for the past days - didn't write down a daily log for the past week. Will focus on being more consistent.

Sunday:

3 Litres Water
2 (16 ounce) Monster Energy Drinks
1 (11.2 ounce) carrot juice
1 cereal-size bowl of rice and baked turkey

Brisk Walk - clocked 4 miles

Wallie:
Shy-One, you made some interesting remarks but you lost me with the first few paragraphs. What are you trying to say about being black in America? I wish I have enough time to provide rebuttals to most of your comments.

Generally speaking, what most fail to recognize is that American values and American interests are not always in tandem. There is no question that America has interests in Nigeria.  That interest is being fulfilled and will be fulfilled even if we have a military dictator for government.  What they are trying to do now is to help in other ways outside of their interests and perhaps, instill some American values in Nigeria. What are the American values that I speak of - Freedom, equality, justice etc.

To those saying that the election is flawed – no poo! Saying something is “best” doesn’t mean that it is perfect. It means that among all the elections from the past, this is the best one.

Thanks for inquiring - but I am not going down that street today. My experience of being black in America rarely resembles most blacks in America. However, I am aware of the lot in life of many around me----though my video and their video seem miles apart. I just observe alot and though some friends and most neighbors have experiences in America that don't resemble my own---I still am sensitive to and do acknowledge their struggle(s). Back to the topic - please I'm trying to learn to not derail too much of any one thread.

Money, Freedom, Equality, Justice and Capitalism - don't generally go hand in hand - in the quest for one or more to supercede the other - more times than not, causes much friction.

Nigeria should definitely bend and conform to their partiality all frame(s)=requirements of any foreign country to do business in its borders that would be beneficial for Nigeria and its populations.

naijababe:
^ Exactly! Ultimately only African can make the best decisions for Africa, what we do should be based on our terms and of mutual benefit.

Since you know that - how can you influence your leaders and/or all that you know to keep it on a Nigerian "ownership level" as much as possible.  Such as some of the Hawaiian States?  Do it IN THE BEGINNING while outsiders are still coming to Nigeria.  The U.S. before I was born or my forefathers - they put together a constitution that is revered far and wide.

Nigeria before anyone comes in and/or any outside influence that is already resident - should before an outsider(s) "owns too much of Nigerian soil" - Nigerians should pressure their leaders to "never sell their soil and/or certain tangibles" to anyone that isn't Nigerian - you can lease to them but not allow ownership and/or COMPLETE EXHAUSTION of natural resources.

I heard about this with Hawaii and another country that I am trying to recall (I can't recall which) that cannot sell its lands to anyone unless that person is either native born and/or are a citizen - they maintain control of their homeland as much as possible.

They can lease but not own.  Nigeria is in a position - I guess (as I am a foreigner and really do know not) - Nigeria hopefully is still in a position prior to U.S. invasion to do the same - they can create laws to do as much right now to protect their soil for their generations yet to rise.  They can lay groundwork right now and not wait to get exploited beyond repair.

I found out about a year ago from a very, very good friend - 3rd richest man in the state of Indiana who passed away recently - he called me totally enraged because one of our highways was leased to a foreign country and that foreign country now collects the tolls of every single traveler that travels that highway.  They lease the highways - http://lighthousepatriotjournal./2006/07/15/foreign-investors-lease-us-toll-roads/ - ahahahahahah - I am amazed and truly impressed as I knew not that this could occur.  It truly enlightened my thinking.  smh - wow

Our country has become so broken in so many different segments that we are bartering ourselves off to the highest bidders.

Playmode KNOWS EXACTLY what he speaks of, you should listen.

I am black american - african american - for most of my life, unbeknowst to myself, I have been raised as a white american in many, many respects. (according to other blacks who know me) - i have spent a great deal of time working for executives, CEOs, CFOs in large corporations as well as in law firms - all white owned - have observed, listened, worked in establishments that have 1 or 2 blacks but hundreds of whites - observe how "white america" and "corporate america" view those unlike themselves.  Educate yourselves - we are to educate ourselves and be aware of prevalent thought processes especially the "ruling thoughts" that govern nations.

For your own protection you should be aware. Your awareness should govern your actions.

Other observations - I notice that when immigrants come to the U.S. - this country favors those with lighter skins and those with darker skins they are known to turn their back on.  I was stunned when I researched the Rwanda cleansing and how the U.S. turns its back and did nothing - yet they knew.  The Haitians they refused to left off the boat and turned them back---the inhabitants that suffered.

The U.S. - keeps most of its own citizens in the dark about its dealings in foreign countries.  The only allies it boasts, supports, shows loyalty to - are Israel and mostly European countries.  That IS NO SECRET.

Most of the U.S. is run by a very small % of its population and that population is white and wealthy - regardless of its current black president.  As we all know - that is a first - black a.zz has been under fire since he took office with every piece of oxygen he consumes - he has to defend his every act - from the trousers he wears, to the bills he signs, to how he sits, walks and talks.

The wealthy in this country the masses look to enrich themselves and give very little back to anyone - that is how the rich stay rich - that is fact.  You will however, run across a few that really care.

My advice would be to MILK IT FOR WHATEVER IT IS WORTH TO YOU.  Each and every single Nigerian should milk it for whatever they can, remain safe, remain soluble and do what you can to gain from whatever association occurs----that marks a wise man.  You can't beat the world, but you can acquire a piece of that pie for yourself and your future generations.

I am one person and I live in the U.S. and am doing what I can to assist myself and those I love as well as others.  God has given you tools to use to protect and enrich yourselves.  Follow that still, small voice and regardless to who or what move into your sphere------you can maintain and grow in leaps and bounds.

You stay as a gf

NOT as a wife

You can be removed at any given time.  IF he married for papers - he is in the country at his wife's sake per immigration.  If he is an attorney and he can handle it.  He knows that legally when the spouse is MIA (missing in action) - all he has to do is file for divorce and list it in the local newspaper and she has up to a year (depending on the state law) to respond.  You never need the other party around to acquire a divorce.  If she doesn't respond, he can be granted a divorce on cause of abandonment.

I believe he isn't being forthright and honest.  What happens to his visa and ability to remain in the country once he files for divorce?  Have you asked him?  Mayhap this is a reason he has yet to file for divorce.  Will he marry you next---are you his next target----or do you not have papers as well and you are his amour?  Will he request that his visa be changed and/or is his visa eligible to be changed to a different status?  work, student, temporary, etc.

Why are you on NL and you haven't done your research beside observing with your eyes---his surroundings while sleeping in his home?  If you are into this person - do your research. 

My question also, is how did you become involved with a man who involved himself with a woman just for papers?  Did she not have a child before he married her?  She has a boyfriend, when?  After he made it clear to her that he only married her for papers ----- then she went out and got a boyfriend?

What order did the baby and the boyfriend arrive?  Find that out ---- ask him that question(s) and then find out from her or someone who knows her --- the order of that scenario.

It sounds like he uses people for his benefit.  What use are you to him?  Know your place in his life so you can protect yourself against this "wonderful lover" ---- his wonders sound like they never cease.

Once you are gone - how will he explain your existence (if he does) ---- to your replacement?

These are the thoughts that would be running through my thought -- if I were in your shoes.  Many times family members go along with each others dirty shyt --- so your meeting his brother(s) actually mean nothing.

Whether you stay or whether you go----I don't know----that is your call.  His story is too involved for me to deal with someone such as he.  All I hear is he isn't available to marry----though you occupy his home as though you are his wife.  He is having his cake and eating it too.  What do you get out of this relationship?  Explanations?  He has improved your ability to be quite descriptive as you lose your breath explaining him to others everywhere you go.  Is that satisfactory for you?  At this point in his life ---- He can't occupy a category of boyfriend, fiancee or husband to you. What is he half-man, half-boyfriend, surrogate-husband, lover-to-you and husband-to her?

I agree

shy guys are very, very adorable.

My advice to you - don't go to an ashawo or what the is,


Talk to God - ask him to send someone to you - he will send you the perfect mate

Be yourself - just be yourself - because that is the self that you bring to a relationship

You are a workaholic so you spend more time @ work and on your own self-development - now it is time to open yourself up to others - there could be the perfect woman on your job just waiting for you.  Do you attend a church?

Go to a church and talk to your pastor - ask your pastor to introduce you to someone - as the pastors usually know the congregants and has observed them and probably would suggest a good mate to the "you that you already are" - so you don't have to change into someone else to acquire a bit of bravery to approach her.  I strongly encourage you to be yourself.

Talk about things that you like --- don't keep the conversation on a technical level or a work level because you will lose your audience (women) if you do that, observe her---what she laughs at, what she seems interested in and focus on those things in your conversations.   Discuss social issues without getting too political or religious in your conversational approach.  Movies, songs, dances, upcoming events, concerts, fashions (read up on those things so you are aware of what is going on around you).

just a few tips from me to you.

@ Poster

you looking at this all wrong

it is very important for both you and she to be aware of "what is on the table."

prior to committing one to the other

finances, credit, fidelity, religion - is your REAL NAME

your birth name ONLY distinguishes you in a familial capacity.

WHO YOU ARE - IS WHAT YOU'VE DONE

I need to know what my man makes $$$$ to know what I am marrying and in turn he needs to know THE SAME.  If I make nothing he needs to know in advance that his salary is being spent by two with no replenishment but from whatever he makes.

This is important prior to starting out in life as a couple.  IT dictates stress levels, expectations from one to the other, goals, next acts by both partners.

Being broke, being financially stable, being well off financially can dictate just about EVERYTHING

I have gone blind into a situation before - NEVER AGAIN - it is wise and responsible to find this information out about each other.  Trust is important and it can also show you a whole lot about each other.

Her knowing what you make and you knowing what she makes doesn't put those dollars in the pocket of the other.  So don't fear showing each other - it can also give you a clear indication of her motives.  IF you make a lot of money, watch her response, if it isn't on this level 'that's great -- I want to try to do the same can you give me some tips"?  However, if she doesn't say anything but just stores the information away - I would be very skeptical of her and I would let her know right away that you are looking to save and NOT SPEND any money.

ok - this one is tough for me because it hits way too close to home.

I too have issues in the money spending area - that is my weakness - very much

I have done very similar to what your girl has done - 

I too hope my guy won't turn his back on me for pulling money out of our joint account of which a large % of that money is his.  I feel that self-maintenance is very important to that individual and to the relationship as a whole.  So I can actually understand what your girl did. However, I can replace what I spend ---- without daddy's money, can she? Because she will keep spending once out of Daddy's house and into your house.

On the flip side of that coin----the manner in which she did this is waking you to the fact that:

You should have stayed with the first woman - inner qualities FAR OUTWEIGH AGE - you should see if she is still available and if she has feelings for you as it is obvious your mind is definitely on her and her qualities.

WISDOM cannot be bought.  From me to you------runnnnnnn

@ Poster

I have never ever heard this saying before - gosh

smh

@ 49

I bow to you - you won

you are absolutely correct

this that you wrote

thank you for taking the time out of your day today to assist me in lifting my thought.

wowww, ok - i read your words - I COMPLETELY AGREE

until we get to this part i have highlighted in blue,

49cents:
@ shy one i always relish the balance in your comments. But you will agree with me that true love is unconditional else the love is not perfect yet. We have the duty of verifying the qualities of the person we have feelings for first, before we put ourselves into it else we have ourselves to blame. The love especially between a couple  must be a fusion of all these: first the romantic (emotions between lovers, many relationships and even marriages have just these, at this stage infidelity is highly probable and rampant)  secondly the fraternal (love between siblings and friends, when lovers get to this point marriage talk comes up, and married couples feel happy cos they can trust the other much more marriage is stronger and infidelity is drastically diminished  due to the comfort that filial love provides, yet infidelity cannot be stomached as the betrayal cannot be rationalsed away)  thirdly filial (emotions between parents and their children, this love is rare in couples . When this dimension of love exist nothing can shake it not even  repeated infidelity the love the other shows the other will be responsible for the  change of the beloved to the extent of laying ones life for the beloved. At this stage it is love itself that heals and renews and transforms the couple)  

LOVE transforms ALL - that is definitely true - I deeply believe that God is love and God as Love - transforms ALL

Now, let's look at that:  If I love you 49cents unconditionally, allowing you to do WHATEVER you want to do, getting upset---but continuing to love you, continuing to stay with you------your cheating ways might diminish somewhat-------but if YOU don't ever get to the point and place where you LOVE ME in the manner in which I LOVE YOU, the transformation from cheater to loyal spouse MAY NEVER OCCUR COMPLETELY WITH YOU.  You may decide to allow a transformation to occur for 4-5 years and year 6 starting cheating again for whatever reason or you may decide to limit your "scope of cheating to a specific region" out of your growing love for me because I HUNG IN THERE like a PARENT'S UNCONDITIONAL LOVE EXISTS FOR A CHILD.  Instead of cheating on me in Nigeria ----where we would be known far and wide------perhaps you would have lovers overseas to protect my reputation.

I believe that we are to ALLOW A TRANSFORMATION TO OCCUR.  IT doesn't just happen because I love you unconditionally.  How many times have you seen couples giving the "unconditional love" to the other and the cheating continues incessantly with no end in sight?  Similar to a parent who loves a child and the child becomes a young man, then a middle aged man, then an old man and the parent dies and the child, who is now an old man------still didn't do ANYTHING, still didn't accomplish, still didn't grow and meet the expectations of that parent. And those expectations WERE NOT LARGE, they were small, simple.  Come on over to the U.S.-----if you aren't already here ---- you will see grown men and women still living at home, living off their parents who are exhausted and worn out from that big-black-bama they call child-----who never, ever got it together.  They are bleeding mom and dad dry----taking their parents money, energy, time, golden years of retirement---taking everything their parents have acquired.  The parents want them out of the house but they won't leave and yet the parent won't get rid of him/her. (Women do it too)

49 - you had me with the first two loves - but that 3rd love nooo I don't agree - because if you have the wrong mate, they will take advantage of that 3rd love and they will ride your love "FOR ALL IT'S WORTH."  They will swim in it, doing the backstroke enjoying your love, while simultaneously committing all types of unethical atrocities, and they, their family and friends will throw in YOUR face that if you loved them "you would forgive them----but their so-called love for you doesn't halt their cheating ways; they will remind you of your vows that you made to them before God---yet somehow always forget their vows as your bf, mate, husband.  They will utilize your unconditional love as a Monopoly Board's  "Get out of jail Free card," to commit lies and crime after crime on the relationship and/or marriage.  Rarely reaching to change themselves-----every now and then, you will find a man or woman who is a cheater that will change their ways but once that cheating door has been opened, it is usually too good and smooth for them to walk in and out of it, regardless to how much you love them as though your love will be the catalyst for them to change.  Change comes from within----not from without.  Most cheaters always justify their ways and their actions and they never change.  Are non-cheaters suppose to align ourselves "til death do us part" with cheaters-----while life goes on in bliss for others who are aligned to those who don't cheat?     

My role in life is to progress and to reflect God as much as possible (I have faults too) - I cannot progress if I have to keep covering the very same ground over and over and over again with a cheater or with someone who is jobless EVERY SINGLE DAY or with an addict of alcohol or drugs --- it is not my cross to bear to continually listen to mediocrity because "they didn't" --- not "they couldn't"----but they didn't get it together. They didn't wake up and go to work, they didn't get an education, they didn't take the high road and keep their hands off new p.u55y. etc, etc.

long distance relationships have a better chance at lasting if both are:

emotionally mature
have a full agenda (aren't sitting around with little to do but cry about why they aren't together)
are financially stable (can visit, call often, can send gifts, etc.)

long distance has a much better chance at working if you can communicate frequently - it's as though there isn't distance between you.

If you are extremely young, immature, no finances, aren't settled with a decent amount of self esteem or self assurance and you are sitting around waiting for the phone to ring and you have no agenda to keep you busy.

LONG DISTANCE WILL NEVER WORK FOR YOU.

@ Poster

I am the same way. If I like you I can barely talk to you. It takes some time for me to warm up to a person that I like. Once I'm warmed up I am good.

A MAN NEVER LOOKED MORE MASCULINE

then when he is cooking in the kitchen

You didn't see Ving Rhames girl?   ahahahahahahahahah - oooooo

The movie "baby boy." - Ving Rhames fine, fine self - unclothed and cooking in the kitchen. - GOOD GOLLY!!!!

I hit replay so many times I must have worn the pad of skin off my finger.  I couldn't speak, all I could do was stare,  whewww!!

OK on the serious side.  Men are sexy and masculine in the kitchen and those that cook - actually their food tastes better than most women - and that is my personal experience.

I am not masculine working a job and a man is not feminine cooking in the kitchen.  What kind of NONSENSE is this I am reading.  A man isn't masculine in the kitchen.

Ladies if you buy into that BS - it's coming from a man who doesn't want to cook and who wants to keep you cooking so he can sit on his lazy duff when he gets home.

SHE HAS HOLES in her face

HOLES IN HER FACE - WTF??

That b.astard wouldn't have walked away from me

Our children would have been taking "both of us to hospital."

TRUST!!!!

When I got done with his a.zz he wouldn't want to hit me again - "Your foot my foot Nigga"

My foot bruised and battered - Your foot will be bruised and battered too. We will meet God together.

ahahahahah @ mosquitoes and lions roaming around Lagos

There are no lions roaming around Lagos - silly guy - lololololol

you guys are ruining the thread - just ruining it and you do it so effortlessly - talking all kinds of nonsense.

smh

2buff4Mods:
There's a difference between forgiving and continuing.
You should forgive them, otherwise you make yourself and anyone else you meet later on a slave to what he did.
However, you don't have to continue in the relationship.

Thanks for straightening that up - I completely agree. I had a cheater once in my life. It was devastating for me. It took a very, very long time for me to forgive that person. But I did and I did forgive them thoroughly and when I forgave them "really forgave them" - it was a HUGE CLEANSING that I experienced spiritually and physically. There are many people that Say they forgive someone. Then they find out later when put in a similar situation or faced with verbal scenarios such as this - they find out that they "really didn't forgive that person - though they tried - deep inside they still harbored ill will and they came to realize that they still were upset behind the acts of that individual."

That IS THE PURE REASON that I can't deal with a cheater. A cheater takes too much ENERGY, EFFORT AND WASTES THE TIME EACH PERSON HAS ALLOTTED to the relationship. Who has time to investigate, accidentally find out they are sleeping with a liar, allow themselves to go through a litany of emotions involved with dating a cheater? Who has the time? NO ONE - cheaters waste time. They don't pull their own weight in a relationship. We all get bored, we all get tempted, we all at times feel a form of attraction for another. But we are required to "pull our weight" by being loyal in the relationship and turn our backs on playing traitor to our mate. That's what vows are for - they link you to your significant other. Be it BF or Husband. That's how I see it.

I went down that road before - I won't allow myself to visit it again - consciously (knowing I have a cheater and I have to keep forgiving the louse) or not knowing he cheats. Because as soon as I find out he cheats. IT is GOOD BYE. I pay allegiance to those that pay allegiance to me.