₦airaland Forum

What I find ridiculous is the theory that MEN ARE BORN TO CHEAT and that there are so many different women out there that it is hard for a man to not be tempted.

Let's be honest - a vajayjay is basically a vajayjay - the shape of a vajayjay is similar in shape to the next vajayjay - very, very similar.  Yes some are larger, some are smaller - some are looser, some are tighter.  BUT THAT IS IT. 

But a man's family jewel come in so MANY DIFFERENT SHAPES AND SIZES that WOMEN SHOULD ACTUALLY BE THE CHEATERS if it's about - temptation and wanting to try new and different.  THAT IS TRUTH

ON THAT ALONE We as women HAVE REAL REASON TO BE tempted to WANT try out DIFFERENT MEN.  I know I am tempted - but do I?  ABSOLUTELY NOT.  Because there is something called Integrity and Fidelity.  I loved the thread created by Orinkla  https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-664139.0.html because you just can't get ANY TRUER than that.

That is why I refuse to ACCEPT a man is born to cheat and there is too much temptation out there.  Basically I have it in me to ride and ride and ride so many different flavors of men and enjoy each and every one of them - but do I?  NOOOOO - I practice discipline, I display and demonstrate loyalty to my mate and to myself.

I listen to these men talking about how they were created to cheat - pleassseeeee - the biggest bunch of crapola to ever drop from a human's mouth.

@ OP

I have read your threads that you have opened and I have to say that you are an odd fellow.

I'm not sure what your point is or what drives you to say many of the things that you say - I do know that this particular thread is false AT BEST.

Women from the U.S. are not as you say that they are.  Especially not AA women.  A large majority of AA women DO NOT SHAVE - their legs, or their va-jay-jay. 

Us women in the U.S. do talk amongst ourselves about hygiene tips, hair products, etc.  I found after speaking with many, many AA women - educated and uneducated as well as with many, many white women.  A large majority of AA women seem to want hair on their legs and Va-jay-jay - which I actually detest.  SO I am seen by my own race as pretty odd in many areas.

I find that White women in the U.S. overwhelmingly - are the shavers in this country much more than the AA culture.

So your implying that because the WOMEN ARE FROM THE U.S. - they all basically shave and have clean smelling vajayjay's is COMPLETELY INCORRECT.   Also many times I hear from the men in the U.S. the same statement that you made about Nigerian women - that women from the U.S. are many times unclean - smelly, etc.   I hear that a whole lot as I have a lot of male friends.  IT isn't about what country the woman is from - it is the type of women you are involving yourself with  - you are CHOOSING WRONG.

@ OP

I really think you are just "Wonderful"

Thank you sooo much - you have given me a beautiful start to an already really good day.

These are the times when I really appreciate NL even more than usual.

@ Inked - great piggy back -- no pun taken

That is why you ALWAYS NEED TO BE AWARE of where you are - EVEN MORE SO if you are a black male.  America is white owned - at this particular point in time.  Here they will dog-walk you if you hit a woman whether she hit you first or not.

I know it is hard to walk away - you see some of my own responses in past situations here on NL on some threads where I refused to walk away.  But hey - you live and you learn.  If you live and you don't learn - I pity the fool.

[b]habit holds hands with repetitive actions[/b]AT ALL TIMES.  Hitting back is "habit forming" - what you do BEHIND CLOSED DOORS 9 times out of 10, you will do in public.  A male needs to put that in check behind closed doors as well which will be EVEN HARDER.  We are ALWAYS WATCHED.  God watches you in private and God and Man watches you in public.  A male needs to conduct himself ON THE STREET as though he is in on national television, because our actions are televised one way or the other.

You never know who knows you, who will spot you on the street today and be the employer that interviews you for a job tomorrow.  Or a fantastic husband or wife material that you spot today--who already spotted you through a window last week showing your azz. in the street (she hit me first)----they might not have seen the first hit but what hit them was their decision to avoid you and your lack of control.

I adore the black men in my family and I am ALWAYS TELLING THEM to be aware and to form habits that will be second nature for their protection and their success.  They will lock you up so fast here especially with the violence against women - even if to ALL she is wrong - the courts will say she is right.  I don't want to see my family members or male friends incarcerated or with a criminal record.

You HAVE TO OUTSMART them for your own protection.  There are definitely some women that will constantly push your buttons and set you up out of jealousy, rage and in efforts to "hold on to a man and/or punish a man."  Many of these women White, AA that I have met in the U.S. - unbelieveable - smh.  White women love to scream and play the victim and AA women love to fight and act a fool (a very large majority).  I tell my male family members all the time - don't play into her hands - a slap is ONE second in time - learn to look beyond that moment for your own sake.  Flight is the appropriate response --- freedom should be more important than YOUR EGO saving-face.

Freedom to dictate your image is CRITICAL for your success.  Do you want to be known as a woman beater publically?  That image is like bad credit - it will take years to correct.  First impressions stay with the mind for a very long time and has buried many a person.

As far as Nigeria and being Nigerian and living in Nigeria and how it is different in Nigeria, etc. etc.  That's good and all if you plan on dying in Nigeria and never leaving the country.  But if you want to cross the Nigerian border to other countries - basically what you do in Nigeria, you will do elsewhere - You are the key to your success and your failure.  What door are you going to walk through?  Don't choose traits that are venomous to your future.

She would have gotten her come-uppance NATIONALLY had he kept his hands at his side.  I'm sure her producers called her to task in private after it was all over.  BUT HE WOULD HAVE FORCED IT NATIONALLY had he maintained a grip on his emotions during her BS.

Had he NOT STRUCK BACK he would have won the support of millions. He didn't grab his opportunity - instead he gave in to his temper, his shock and his disbelief THAT SHE HIT ME FIRST.

Many times the victim gets the short end of the stick. You better prepare yourself for many situations so that if they occur you have a handle upon your reaction. If you desire favorable results.

He received unfavorable results. You men backing him up are setting up yourself and your fellow men for failure especially if you cross the border into any International Waters that don't and won't support reactions such as that "television contestant."

beejaei:
@Shy-One

I am very sorry, but your are very very stu.pid. Like do you have a sponge for a brain? What kind of argument is that? orisirisi. Like do you live in the real world? He should have kept quiet so the women will be falling in love with him? Like how old are you? What sort of childish reasoning is that?

Sponges soak things up - Yes I have a mind like a sponge.  This thread is a discussion not an argument.  Stu.pid.?  Is that your grasp of the English Language - please tell me that you could have selected a bigger word.

The real world - kicked his azz - did you NOT WATCH THE VERY VIDEO YOU POSTED?  This isn't about what SHE DESERVED.  EVERYONE KNOWS THAT SHE WAS WRONG.  You either work hard or you work effectively.  THAT IS THE REAL WORLD.

He was ON HIS COUNTRY'S NATIONAL TV PROGRAM.  He should have walked away - THAT EFFECTIVELY WOULD HAVE KICKED HER AZZ.  Her viewers know her and from the way they clowned him - they love her - IT SEEMS THAT SHE DOES NO WRONG EVEN WHEN SHE IS HEINOUS.

You better learn to work the system.  Her downfall would have been initiated by her own actions had he HELD HIMSELF IN CHECK.  Instead he put the spotlight on himself by reacting.  Did she deserve it?  OF COURSE SHE DID but instead he got WHAT SHE DESERVED because he played his hand wrong.

His rash 50 SECOND RETALIATION gave him a 20 minute azz whooping by many more who thought HE DESERVED IT.  Obviously he wasn't effective - SHE WAS - HER IMAGE preceded her and protected her in her wrongness.  Even when we are attacked - it pays to think logically.  See how you have attacked me and called me stupi.d?  You are just as rash as he is.  I say this because everyone one of us has been quick to anger and rash at some point in our lives and if you want proper recompense - you are called upon to stop, drop and roll.  THINK

Right now - had he responded well - he would have been the man who is being interviewed for his RESPONSE OF NOT HITTING BACK - she would probably be on National TV apologizing to him in front of millions - he would be their hero - obviously few would have been able to do what he should have done.  He wouldn't be crying in front of everyone, he wouldn't have been attacked, she would be looking stuipid and violent.  Her sponsors especially male would have dropped her and so many other hand-slapping actions would have dealt with her.  But he prevented alot of that from happening with his actions. Had he done the effective thing which would have been to NOT HIT HER. He could be writing a book right now, be showcased on many different television programs, initiated an apology from her, filed a lawsuit and won some $$$$, etc, etc.

So no, in response to your question.  I am DEFINITELY NOT STU.PID.  The reasoning of a child and a rash individual is to strike back and to attack anyone who doesn't agree with you.  You my friend are what you have accused me of.

I was unaware that he existed. After observing me for some time he introduced himself to me and asked me to consider him to be my man - he then shared with me what he observed as our similarities and how we would and could compliment each other - he made it clear that he wanted me to be his woman - he let me know that he was widow (like me) and that he has children and that he was looking to move on with his life and he wanted me to be his future wife. He knew that I was also a widow and he wanted me to open myself up to allowing him into my life. He was straight forward, didn't bite his tongue and didn't run game or shoot fake lines.

Everything he said, over this last year - he has proved it all to be true. It took me some months to take him serious and he never gave up. When he first contacted me - I took several weeks before I even acknowledged him and he continued to contact me with no answer from me and then I answered him one day and we have been together ever since. He stayed and waited until I was ready. We got really close and then I got scared and stopped talking for a few months and then we started up again and haven't been apart since then. I love him so. He is patient with me and I love him even more.

Yes we differ - I do recall - and that's ok - we can still listen and learn and appreciate each other on different platforms

that's what separates the chaff from the wheat

we will be the ones still around - wisely working to keep our stress at low levels by demonstrating and perfecting "the art of Communication."

2 wrongs don't make a right

In drama and highly stressful situations are times that LEADERS ARE BORN - HEROES RISE FROM THE ASH

He looked and sounded like a woman when the crowd got done

The woman WAS COMPLETELY WRONG - he should have held onto his cool and intellect and allowed her to maintain her STANCE (OF BEING WRONG)

The leader in him should have reared its head immediately - had he maintained his God-given position of a MALE WHO IS LARGE AND IN CHARGE

He shouldn't have swung back PERIOD - SHE LOOKED REALLY BAD WHEN SHE LANDED HIM ONE and stupidly in his quest to get even - he ruined his position and lost the upper-hand in that situation when he swung back

Look again at the video and this time when you look at the video - right after she strikes him - DOESN'T SHE LOOK HORRIBLE?  Pause it as soon as she hits - she looks like the villain that she is and masculine and unsexy all of a sudden - what man in the audience will want a woman that acts like she does?  Had he held himself - he would have looked even more handsome, intelligent, leader-like and she would have looked worse.  When she hit him - he should have verbally attacked her femininity  - threw an intelligent "one-liner" at her and walked off stage with a swag - that would have gotten him women salivating for him, STANDING OVATION, MANY VIEWERS ON HIS SIDE and possibly made her lose her job.

When he clocked her back - he looked and sounded like a girl after her "knights" showed up.  Those very men would have stomped her silly if she had slapped them - but they showboated because they were on television and/or also had a crush on her.

nooo - he doesn't read my posts - it is rare - he is always working - more than me

i still do have a small handle on wanting to keep my pride - and there are times that my thoughts and his go in different directions especially on some of these threads on NL - he still is a very proud man and a Nigerian in Nigeria - so we do think a lot differently - but sometimes these writers just drag it out of you - many times i don't even want to respond but there are times when we have to respond just on principle.

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=660686.msg8267126#msg8267126 date=1304636431]I know you religious folks going to act like a heathen but just hear me out.   Pastor is not a God figure nor can save you from anything.  A pastor should be a person you can talk to like you talk to your mother or father BUT if you are religious the first THING you need to do is confer with your GOD and ask him what you should do. 

Pastors are sinners just like you and will have some errors in their judgement.  They are only designed to give you advice on what they FEEL is right or wrong and not necessary what you need to hear or know. 

I know a few people who will harm others if they talk about their pastors or even question what their pastors are saying which to me is a form of idolatry which it is against the Ten Commandments in the Christian religion.   

Anyway.  I just wanted to say that pastors aren't perfect and you will be more confused talking to them then you would talking to your parents so go to the most perfect, your God for serious  advices and directions.[/quote]TRUTH - I AGREE

deniyor:
@OP
You don't deserve any of the two guys. You ditched the last one to go experiment with the world aka go sample other dyks - hey I'm not calling you a ho or smth. The current one dated you for two years and proposed, instead of accepting or refusing, you are considering your ex's proposal (aka ex's dyck again). But I'm  a good mood right now and I wouldn't call you a slut or anything of the nature. The ex is dumb to come back. The current probably doesn't know what is going on else I doubt he will stick around for long.

Oh yeah, I'm supposed to advice you. My bad, I forgot. My advice is as follows: If you are ever in a jam btw two guys and can't choose, choose none of them. If any of them is the one for you, you wouldn't even be thinking about it.

I think you still need more experimentation or seeing whats out there in  the world.

@ OP - it is not my intent to hurt you - sometimes you should listen to people who think differently - I completely agree with Deniyor - TOTALLY - this writer is speaking truth here - not to upset or hurt you - but you need to know that you HAVEN'T MET THE ONE FOR YOU YET.

When you meet YOUR MATE - you stop and go no further - consideration of another no longer exists - because YOU DON'T EVEN DESIRE THE PRESENCE of another, you don't even consider it because THE RIGHT ONE FEELS SO RIGHT - A PERFECT FIT.  Everyday his voice, his touch, his eyes, his laugh bring joy to you.  And the thought of life without him brings pain.  The very fabric and fiber of your being craves him and you cannot fathom life without him

Your love life shouldn't be symbolic of Forest Gumps "Life is a box of Chocolates."  You will be miserable listening to us telling you who should have the right to stroke your secret place of mysteries.

Na wa o!!!!!!  (i hope i said that right)

some men look soft and playboy looking

My guy looks rugged and masculine - ahhhhhhhhh - i love it on him

oopsss - ohhh - ok - thanks for catching me and not getting angry - lololol

let me rephrase - my bad - i don't keep up with the tribalism as much anymore

I love his "cultured, beautiful, domesticated facial features"

puppy NOOOO - lolololol - he is sooo manly and masculine looking - he's very yummy

@Jenifa

I know - I'm sorry - I can't help - he is so beautiful - that Yoruba face of his - lololololololol - man I am looking at that guy as I type - wow exoticization what does that even mean? I like that word though - ahahahahaha

oops lolololol

I agree with a few writers on here

I love original - be yourself

Also smell good with white teeth and fresh breath

You don't have to have on the most modern clothes or new clothes - just smell fresh and good and white teeth and no old played out lines that you learned from your buddy or heard on television.

Be who you are - a nice sense of humor also bowls me over

Don't rush me - trying to hurry me into a relationship - I don't like men that move too fast

Mentally Men should know that you are not at the back of the line so there is no need for pushing and shoving

Ladies I urge you take note of the writer above me. 

Shy-One furiously writing - soaking it up, sharpening pencil when lead wears low, writing and rewriting every syllable from the GREAT MIND directly above her.

Ladies - Listen and Learn

Listen and Learn.

Each gift brought to the table can be JUST AS VALUABLE or INVALUABLE as the next. (Both Payer, Piper AND Tune)  Don't let impressions fool you. (Neither of those gifts can successfully exist independent of the other) --- regardless to their location of Naija or not.  Because you were the first one in line (Adam) doesn't mean you will be the last one standing jock-itch free.

lolololol "my exploitative ways" - I can see you dug deep for that one.  

Please "different competencies" was my new expression for this week.  I felt very proud after I laced that one.  I saw adequacy in its usage in describing our communication.    

Pro01 that I did appreciate your "choice words" and "piper" thought alignments.

pro01:
Hmm. . .my dear Shy-One. I see you carefully avoided the posers I raised, choosing instead to run circles around the real issues. How typical. Lol @ "different competencies". It's amazing how ya'll use choice words to euphemize your exploitative ways. Well my dear, the competency of he who pays the piper is to dictate the tune, while the piper's competency is to play the tune, as dictated. There can be nothing equal about the giver and the receiver. . .except in advanced societies/cultures where the 'giving' or 'receiving' roles are not allocated to specific genders.

lololololol oooooo lololololol @ FILED pearly whites

ahahahahaha

Good Night Chima

ahahahahahahah

"throwing back head - mouth wide" - lrlrlrlrlrlrlrl (exuberantly laughing real loud)

Hot purple with a hint of orange coming up.  Popping toe knuckles, while using thumbs and taking care to apply just the right amount of pressure to aid in giving Mrs. Chima a perfect send off to embark on a great night sleep.

Mr. Chima didn't call - he can't even look at another woman for your beauty has pickled his brain - he has eyes for you and only you.  Hence NL's admiration for him.

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=657609.msg8267527#msg8267527 date=1304646857]It was perfectly fine to me.  You said everything that need to be said so I deleted my response didn't want the guy to feel like he getting arse whooped twice.

It seem though people are taking the fact that "man" was created first means they are above "woman" which in the book of Genesis specifically states that a man leave his father and mother and cleaved to the wife didn't say he is above the woman or beneath the woman.  Also it said that the woman is part of the male meaning his other half not his foot or his knee but his rib and the rib is located on the side of a human body so symbolically that how a man and woman should be.  

If God wanted a woman to be on the ground of a man he would have used a toe or a heel instead of a rib.  But chauvinist men won't see that they see helpmate and submission they get excited not reading the rest of the biblical passage.  

Women got that bad too picking bible verses that best suits them too.[/quote]I hail thee Mrs. Chima

Shy-One Kneels at the feet of the "Queen"  - preparing warm/hot soapy water with one hand, throws hand towel over shoulder with the other, while simultaneously prepping and sterilizing pedicure tools.  Provides OPI nail color tray for Chima's perusal.  Sets up scented massaging lotions for her selection.  Shy-One sits at Chima's feet, rolls up sleeves, cocks head to the side and looks over glasses inquisitively.  Chima I am giving you a deep tissue 30 minute foot massage and stellar nail polish job.

Your royal highness - come on, what color would you like?

thank you boo boo

Yayyyy for Mrs. Chima.

FYI: I just added some more - I was modifying. I have to stop that actually.

pro01:
This is not only a fallacious argument, it is also dubious and exceedingly hypocritical - and a brazen manifestation of unrivalled sophistry. Only a pus.s.ie-whipped man can make this claim.

Now, listen read: since "after all" we are "created equal", why is it 'inappropriate' for a random chick I meet in the street to stop me and say 'hello, you're tall and handsome and I'm so attracted to you, do you mind if I take you out for dinner, so we could get to know each other better"? How come it is unheard of for a young woman to woo a man relentlessly, directly and openly - spending her money buying him gifts and all in order to 'win' his love, while he laps it all up and wastes time 'thinking' about it? Why is it 'abnormal' for girls/women to be the ones bothering themselves on how to make money, buy a nice car, get a good job, build/rent a good house etc in order to stand a chance of being qualified to ask a fine man out or ask for his hand in marriage? Why is it acceptable for a woman to be a full time housewife who earns fat sums of money as allowance from a rich husband - yet a jobless 'house husband' is deemed a 'lazy' and 'unambitious' 'loser', and is the butt of jokes and hisses by the well-to-do wife and her friends? ? ?

May God punish anyone who claims that man and woman are equal in view of the above circumstances. In certain European (or some oriental) societies where women have developed to the level as described above, yes I agree they may be considered equal to men. But here in Nigeria? Again God punish any fool who even insinuates anything close to equality. When that day comes when a woman would buy me more gifts than I can ever hope to buy her, stop me in the street and directly ask me out, ask for my hand in marriage and bear all the associated costs, worry her head to death on how to earn money and 'take care' of me - while I only think of shopping and laze at home watching 'Africa Magic', spend spend spend on me while I reward her with nothing more than sex, etc THEN and ONLY THEN would I relinquish the EXCLUSIVE RIGHT to cheat to her. They can't keep thinking they can have their cake and eat it too. Nonsense.

Different competencies doesn't make one gender superior over the other.  Ignorant humans set those laws into place NOT GOD.  God specifically states that his love IS EQUALLY GIVEN TO MAN.   God doesn't favor man over woman and if God did - he would have given the MALE SPECIES the ability to create another human being.  He would have given the MALE SPECIES the ability to NOT BECOME IMPOTENT with OLD AGE.

Woman was given the right to craft another human being - our bodies incubated you and brought you to this world; our bodies were given the ability to climax numerous times and we don't get impotent with age, even in menopause we can have an org.asm.  Also, as women, when pregnant we can choose how YOU POP OUT.  We can care for our bodies and cultivate you in the womb to be genius or El Stupido depending on how we take care of ourselves during your incubation period.  BIG PIMPIN

Basically if you want to start swinging your ol' balls around to see whose are bigger and better and who has been blessed more by God - let me tell you this one buddy - I thank God I was born a woman as I feel that we received the higher end of the blessings.  We have bosom.s - YOU DON'T.  We have intellect and beauty.  And enough common sense to be humble, modest, fearless.  We can shut up long enough to take direction without having to constantly be the captain going down with the ship.  We can bail and still look good from a distance.  We don't always feel the need to hold the reins on sinking ideas scared to let go for fear of looking weak and failure-like.  We can say I'm sorry and bow out gracefully and still be admired for our deference while dealing WITH YOU.

Also "inappropriate" is STRICTLY A "VIEW POINT."  Depending on what soil you stand is what affects that POINT OF VIEW.  Remember that.

So when you jump on a thread of this sort yammering about your maleness being more superior than our femaleness.  You need to think again MY FRIEND.

Now go on and Grab yourself a big fat piece of that cake pro01.

There are times when friends actually look and act like Frenemies

Envy can turn a friend into a weird companion and strangers can actually be alot more hands-off and see topics from the outside looking in and can be more objective than friends.

Friends- in their quest to assist out of love and concern can actually be too loving and too nosey and too hands-on to the point that they can ruin occasions, plans, projects, etc - unintentionally and intentionally.

My guy has many friends - I choose to run solo alot - with 1-2 people that I turn to and/or rely on.  I love running things by educated strangers, professionals, researchers who know me not - as the responses are varied/optional and affect the results/outcome more favorably (more times than not).

Out of fear for your so-called welfare and best interest - Friends and family can cloud issues and areas most times and spread your business amongst themselves and others (people you don't know) like bush fire and faster than locust.  I hate saying that because I love them dearly but it is true and sometimes the truth is ugly.

ahahahahah

lololololol

how adorable

Kingsleyinfo:
@OP
we all react to the issue of cheating in various ways. and i want to assume that the reason you are devastated by this is that you have never done this it to him.
well you can look at it from one point, if you have not caught him cheating on you for the past four years, then first questions you should be asking are
1. why now?
2. have you always been around each other for the past four years.
3. have you ever had reasons to suspect him of cheating?
4. what have people been saying about him to you?

while i could go on about questions to ask i will like to stop at these few.

now onto answers and their meaning, the issue of cheating is not peculiar to your man alone, so also the reasons differ from person to person.

1. to find out why now, you will have to sit down and talk about it, find out why he choose this time to get caught, or whatever excuse he has got to do what he did, reasons might be, he was at the wrong place and got hooked by the 'hot' babe, secondly he wanted to do it before you guys got married,
thirdly he didn't know what came over him and he is truly sorry. amongst the host of reasons he might give to you, don't let him tell you that, it was the devils work or some silly excuse that don't add up. the purpose of this talk is to get into his psych, and understand his reasons, trust me you will be shocked at what you could learn when you are calm with such issues.

2. if you had been around each other for the past four years and you have not caught him once, then its either he was very smart and respectful, or he is telling you the truth, meaning he didn't know what came over him and he is truly sorry. but if you have not been that much together, i mean in same environment where you get to see each other often, then believe me he is a born cheat. you anly outsmarted him this time that was why you caught him.

3. if you have ever had reasons to suspect him before now, that was possibly your guts feeling or rather instincts telling you that something was wrong, and please don't ignore your instincts, they are mostly right.

4. if you tell me that people have not been talking about him to you then i will say you are not being truthful. this is  the time to get real, and evaluate what you have heard, this is time to cross check fact and fictions, how often have you been told about his randy behaviours be truthful to yourself, or you could go on a fact finding mission, ask questions. at this stage it is not about digging for dirt, you just want to know how far rotten the apple is, trust me some apples are just fresh on the outside only.

after doing your careful analysis make a decision and pray, that is if you believe in it. believe me it works wonders, the choice of a life partner is not a joke its a very serious issue. if the decision you made gives you peace after praying then go with it. if not please toe the opposite path.

then as for the guys who say cheating is a normal thing, you guys are simply hopeless,
just because you cheat does not make it alright,
why i can't blame you for cheating i certainly won't accept your ideology on the issue.

if men can cheat then women should do too. after all we are created equal.
talking about hormones, you should also know that along with that you were created with the ability to choose.
it is your choice that makes you what you are not your hormones.

my theory is simple what you condone you will eventually become.
we have told so much lies that eventually we start living a lie.
and eventually cheat our very own self of the happiness we deserve.
thats all cheating can ever bring.

Kingsley - I read in detail what you wrote.  It is obvious that you have been blessed with great wisdom and discernment.

You have been listening as well as talking to God.

Shy-One is very, very impressed with you.  Thank you for sharing - such a great read.  I have learned something from you - I am grateful.  I want you to know that I also took notes. What you have taken the time to offer to NL has been very helpful to everyone - ME INCLUDED.

I woke up this morning WITH A FEELING OF DREAD

I am sooo sick of this.  Again, fear to leave U.S. soil - I have to live with - and now more terrorism BS - fallout behind this Bin Laden crap that I have NOTHING TO DO WITH.

dewaledipo:
i believe everybody seems to be taken by a news dat is so absurdly wrong. I say dis becaise if you were to read between the lines, you all would know that sept 911 was not an Al Qaeda operation, it was the greed of some top american people who has crippled the american economy with thier callousness. Do you know that america has gotten the will to do anything in any country since that alleged attack in 2001. They have started wars that are highly uncalled for, most of the defence contracts company in us are owned directly or indirectly by the same people who attacked america in 2001. America would only go to where they would get something. Why dont you people ask yourself why america folded their hands while the mass genocide was going on in rwanda? It was so easy to capture saddam hussein than their own military trained bin laden? Why wasnt he captured alive or are we to believe that they dont want him brought to trial? There are a lot of questions that this raises than the answers it gives. The news is flawed, the media is totally messed up. Its easier for people to believe the news than for them to question it despite visible and clear loopholes. I really wish america can tell us how a whole plane ( boeing 757) vapourised on impact or how a 110 storey buiding collapsed completely to the ground under 9.2 seconds. Abeg lets leave them with their lies and work  & pray that our own country moves forward.

Many, many, many Americans do believe alot of what you have written to be very true.  Not every word listed above - but a great majority of it is true.  Those U.S. citizens that aren't privy to military matters will still be held accountable for the governments acts and will suffer behind this, why I see people celebrating in the streets is besides me.

There are no winners or losers here.

I just want all of it to go away.

@ OP

You already know enough about the guy to set him up with a well endowed, attractive female relative of yours.

Instead of wondering what is going on - occasion an "accidental meeting" between him and one of your attractive female relatives and or attractive female friends.

Disinterest the guy in your girl and then see how/if she changes her availability/access to you.

hmmmm

shy-one steps back from this one.