₦airaland Forum

ok

kandiikane:
Then what you should have said was majority from MY observation because I too could go and say African Americans are ghetto because majority I have met are but I will not because I have not met all and I have met some who are not.

Actually I am going to stick with what I stated - but thanks for the advice.

kandiikane:
I am not in the US but I have family there and I am not going to ask the posted because she did not post YOUR comment.
Your comment was ignorant and I just want to know how you came up with that "truth"

Yes, I believe I can voice my own opinion on the matter because I am African and its about AA+Africans.
Ofcourse, you won't care because your post was full of ignorant "truths"

I completely agree with you - IT IS IGNORANT - isn't it?  That's what most of us think.

However, whether you think it is ignorant or whether I think it is ignorant.  Doesn't change the horrible fact that "THAT IGNORANCE IS PREVALENT."

As an African maybe you "aren't aware" of its very valid and "in your face" happenings over here in the U.S.

I wish, hope and pray that more think like you do.  Currently over here in the U.S. - they don't.  Whether your family is here or not doesn't change what is going on over here between the two groups or how each group sees the other group.

At the end of the day - attacking me - doesn't change the fact.

poweredcom:
Girl try visit Nigeria ok, for Nigerians in america, be friends with Nigerian that live in Nigeria

@ Pureohio

This writer is correct - I agree - A different outcome completely.

@ KK

You aren't in the U.S. so I'm unsure as to why you are responding to what goes on over here. Had you read the poster's response - she wasn't surprised nor stunned as you are exhibiting here.

You can't stand on this side of the line to see what we see or speak of. Are you an African American that has been to a largely African party here in the U.S. to voice an opinion? How many people you have slept with is of no consequence in this conversation. SO your line of questioning in that respect is quite odd.

Approach the poster - don't approach me. You and I don't have the same experience. If you don't agree, that is your right. But tell that to the poster, I could care less.

Close your eyes or skip it and read from the next writer

Did I need your permission to respond as I saw fit?  Some posts are long some are short.  Such is life. Take what you can from it and ignore what you don't like or what doesn't apply to you.

Reading IS NOT KRYPTONITE.

I wasn't raised by a single parent.

FYI: Everyone on this thread goes into a relationship carrying baggage regardless to whether they have children or not.

You had baggage that you brought from a previous relationship into your current marriage. That is all of us. No one on this thread goes into a relationship without carrying baggage of some sort or the other.

From my point of view Children aren't considered baggage. It looks to depend on what point of view you see things. One man's trash is another man's treasure. We all have rights.

By no means am I standing in the way of who you do or don't date. My comments are my comments and my belief. Everyone on the thread has the right to date a childless person or a person with children.

Whoever you date - whether they do or don't have kids - ACCEPT EVERYTHING THAT COMES WITH IT.

Every one of you on this thread was a child and some of you if not most of you were raised by single parents but you don't want to admit it

I was 12 when my father died and left my mother with 4 children

I have had a Step Father since I was 14 years of age.  Thank God a good man came into my life through my mom who I can call Dad.

I am a very attractive woman who owns her own business and is quite successful today who lavishes those parents with whatever they want in appreciation of their devotion to me.

Those on this thread bashing others for dating single parents absolutely deserves to FIND OUT WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE A SINGLE PARENT.  They will return with different words - trust me.

Every single one of you was a child ---- try to remember the joy you experienced when and if you had responsible parents footing the loads in your life.  It's criminal to put others down because they lost a mate from death, bad choices, etc and are left to raise the next generation.

I love my man and his children are wonderful.  I feel blessed in every way.

Basseti:
LOL, no need to be.

Its the net and you are free to do, be or act whateva or whoever. I wasnt miffed at all.

Anyways, truce?

Truce

Basseti:
Well thats what u sounded like for a minute.

ok - sorry

@ B

Also your little comments that I am on a tirade and I am bitter.

lolololololol

smh

shut it. bitter I am not. just factual.

@ B

Because YOU don't fall in that category - don't say it doesn't occur, because you know it does. Is that what is occurring with PureOhio? I don't know. But I know for fact that in many circles her ethnicity IS A PROBLEM.

My suggestion to her is to just focus on her and her abilities and gifts because the right people will be attracted to her for what she has to offer. EVERY woman on the planet will be submissive to the "right man." So listening to these writers discussing women from the west not being submissive is just completely incorrect as well.

@ Bassetti

ignorance at it's finest. applaud yourself.

@ sleekman

You are not in the majority.  The word racist doesn't fall from my lips readily.  I have read many writers of African descent that generally choose to first marry another Nigerian of same tribe, secondly another African, if they go outside and don't marry African they would marry a white person over an African American.

Nothing personal - that's why I didn't attack you because this isn't personal.  This is what I have read from many,many, many writers.  They associate AA with negative images especially those 30 years of age and up.  The younger Africans tend to hold the images of African Americans on a more positive note because they associate that image of those AA who have succeeded in music, athletics, etc,

It is what it is.  As I stated, there are Africans that don't do any of the above and accept you for what you present to them.  Most women that I know are submissive to the "right man."

Basseti:
@ Shy-one

I dont think that Pure-Ohio came to the gathering wearing a big ole' "Marry me sign" on her forehead.  So you are kinda jumping the gun wildly.
I dont know why the guys decided to be cold to her, but I can bet that it had nothing to do with her AA heritage.

As for whites being acceptable over AA, I dont know about that. But I know I have no patience for AA that think being ghetto is cool. Maybe most dudes feel that way too.

Why are you talking to me?  Especially when you haven't addressed anything that I have said with any amount of accuracy?  Who mentioned marriage?  You did.  So why are you addressing me as if I mentioned it?

Yes you do - you know about that (text in blue).  And if you don't know about it, you've heard of it. 

As an AA - I'm not ghetto and I'm not cool with ghetto.  So why would you even form your fingers to type the BS you typed?  I'll tell you why you typed it. You are also another one that thinks that AA are ghetto.

@ PureOhio - see what I'm saying? Many of them can't even hide it. It just pours out. AA = ghetto to many Africans. Not all Africans but a huge majority of them.

sleekman:
It's a pity no one is really telling you the truth here maybe I can help. I think I understand their line of reasoning because of a couple of reasons

Firstly, Cultures are different. A Nigerian woman that was brought up in Nigeria or by Nigerian parents thinks more to please her family than herself although that is changing fast these days. If she is faced with hardships either economically or emotionally she doesn't easily give in and throw in the towel by quiting the marriage. Still a sizable number of our girls are taught or raised up to respect their man even if they're well off. They respect hierarchy and this is because they are either well brought up, good christains/moslems/traditionalists. They believe in something but all across the western world there is a death of morals due to the rise in atheism or distorted doctrine.

Secondly, Most Nigerian men are selfish, they want to be able to indulge in their illicit ways whereby their women can't cough or at worse they complain and fight about their partners ways with no serious repercussions. Across the western world, once your hubby is caught cheating thats the end of the marriage. So they like the feeling of knowing that no matter their actions there wouldn't be serious repercussions especially the way the single ladies chase the married ones these days.

Thirdly, this has to do with character. Most western ladies have loose characters, they believe what a man can do I can as well even far better and then see themselves as equals even more. In most cases they want their partners to do their bidding or be at their beck and call. Expatiating further Its more like this, down here we have marriage materials, mistress and hit & run materials. Most western ladies fall in the latter category. They become ready for marriage most times after their 35th birthday. A Nigerian man knows that a Nigerian lady with the Nigerian mind set is a very strong woman. She can manage in adversity as well as show off the wealth in style to the pride of her husband.

Like you must have been reading here on NL things are changing and Nigerian ladies are more and more becoming like their western counterparts but then we still do have the true breed, the true apple of every man's eye. Ladies who were taught either in the true traditional way or in a strict Christian/muslim way. One thing I do appreciate with the ladies brought up outside the shores of Nigeria is that they are far less materialistic. If your character has really been moulded along one of these and as I observed above you aren't materialistic then you have nothing to fear because your true Nigerian knight in shining armour is around the corner. Cheers.

Everything this writer wrote is TRUE. He spoke truth to you. If you see what I wrote earlier---you will see that he has mirrored my writing from the point of view of a large % of Africans. They are taught this even more so about African Americans - wild, no morals, etc, If an African marries outside of their culture - A white person is more acceptable to many of them than an African American. It is the "majority held view point." Is it wrong, is it right? It matters not. Right or wrong don't matter. Because it is their perspective. Mark my word, many of those men that you are meeting in the States think the very same way. NOT ALL OF THEM but a great majority of them.

So where does that leave us half-breeds who are beautiful, intelligent, loyal to our death, hardworking. How do we deal with that thought process? We continue to be who we are, because our beauty is too blinding not to be ourselves. Those Nigerians that see it and deal with us will be the blessed ones. Everyone doesn't buy into categories or conform to stigmas.

Don't wear your bloodline as a badge of honor on your sleeve (though we both know that it is)------just talk around it. When I attend social gatherings I don't discuss religion, race, politics, etc, Continue to be proud of who you are and know that someone of your upbringing will hook a wonderful guy(s). Wait and mark my word ---- they are coming.

from PureOhio

@Shy-one: Thank you so much for shedding some light on this issue. I honestly had a feeling it had something to do with what you just said. It really baffles me b/c their parents knew my parents so for them to not have known seems very strange. I appreciate your advice but it's just not in my nature to hide who I am just to appease others Embarrassed

Pure:

First let me say that you are gorgeous.  What I stated in an earlier writing on this thread was ONLY A FEW of the thoughts that occurred to me.  It actually might not have ANYTHING to do with what I stated.  It could be something else.  In all honesty.  I truly believe that it DOES have something to do with what I stated.

Especially if this is happening in crowds at African attended events.  THERE IS NO WAY that you can hide who you are.  Because it's too blinding to others.  You are beautiful and that beauty has alot to do with your mixed blood.  But you also have African and African American families that have formed who you are.

PureOhio in action is what you should be.  Action and little words.  Why open your purse up to those in social circles who have not opened their purse up to you?  My heritage which I am VERY PROUD of wouldn't be a topic of any conversation because of differing reactions that I "don't have time to suffer."  Those that are to be with you will be there as bees drawn to honey.  Friends, mates, etc.  They will see your worth and will be desperate to be a part of it.

There will be Africans that won't accept me and AA's that won't accept him.  So be it.  Regardless to who is and isn't staying onboard - there will still be a crowd of well-wishers surrounding us.  In like order there will still be a crowd surrounding you.  Nigerians and non-Nigerians alike.  Focus on you.

Do you boo boo.  Do you.

Here is truth!

pay close attention to Babe and livedit!! 

I speak standing on American soil regarding this issue that I have observed for quite some time.  Nothing personal or negative just fact!  I have also dated African men from different parts of Africa. 

Africans a LARGE MAJORITY of them come to the U.S. with preconceived notions from television and relatives and observing once they arrive the condition of the majority of "African Americans" - very few Africans strike out independent of their tribal group----they generally always have one foot inside of their African group AT ALL TIMES while they are here in America as it is their lifeline and support system while they are here.  Which means they are heavily still influencing each other thoughts and actions to assist each other to succeed. However, the other side of that coin is that if they hold certain views that are derogatory in nature---they also share that amongst them as well.  This constant closeness as a side effect can also alienate them from other cultures so if there are any myths to dispel---it is quite difficult.

Most Africans that I have observed look down on "African Americans" while they live in the U.S. amongst us and vice versa.  So Africans and African Americans don't ever really get to know each other.  AA's many times see them as odd, ugly, superior-acting, poor enunciation skills, but very high intellect, academic achievement and financial success.  Africans in the U.S. many times see AA's as wild, whores, uneducated, dangerous, attractive, great in bed, uncontrollable, etc.

If you were at an African party with a large group of Africans in attendance-----your Akata-ness isn't something you want to EVEN MENTION in that crowd.  As they will sleep with you IMMEDIATELY but amongst their own kind, they will be reluctant to be seen publically in your presence for fear/discomfort of being associated with you because of possible backlash from within their community.

That's my observation and I stand by it.  An African male will be more readily in your face, show appreciation of you once he breaks from the African pack---find one that will want you ANYWHERE YOU GO.  As that person is definitely out there---don't worry or blink over any that flake out in front of their bros.

My advice to you is to identify with your "qualities" and make those "qualities" of who you are to shine so bright it blinds those on nationality/ethnicity - don't discuss your heritage.  Half this, half that.  I am a half-breed and I know that my babe who is Yoruba Nigerian will face some backlash from some of his kind for even being with me.  I am not ignorant to this fact----just as once he is in the U.S., I will face backlash from those that know me as well for being with him and he will also face backlash from AA men when they see us together.

If you want a Nigerian man or an African man as mate to you who is half Nigerian----practice now.  Be aware only, ignore being hurt, self-conscious, upset.  Focus on you as you are quite attractive regardless to what runs through your veins.  Take those halves and make ONE POWERFUL WHOLE.  That can't be ignored or unaccepted in any situation.

let her make the first move if you don't you will be playing to her tune for the rest of your life.

Yes

I will and Yes I am - he has 3 children and is a widow.

Makes him look 3 x's more sexy in my eyes.  He is responsible, handsome, hardworking, loves children, intelligent, God-serving.

You betcha!!!!!!

I no longer need to wonder if he is child-friendly or what kind of father or husband he would make - I see it first hand.  The best man to marry and date is a single father who has his own children. 

You can't get any better than that!!!  You don't have to scheme up tests for him to pass to see what he would be like - his entire life is a living testimony to who he is and how he is and how he will be if life predicaments hit him.

Happy Fathers Day Baby - I am so in awe of you.

Thanks for this thread as the situation will be duly reported and monitored on behalf of the citizens of Nigeria.

@ Ystranger

How are you? Is everything alright with you?

@ Poster

THE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH I WILL POST NEXT SO PAY CLOSE ATTENTION:

First - STOP crying
Get on your knees praise God for DIVINE INTERVENTION

This sounds unbelievable to us BECAUSE This also sounds unbelievable to you - one helluva bullet you just dodged

Get over your shock so you can absorb and swim in the gratitude for the blessing you just received

He isn't marriage material - doesn't matter his U.S. residency status or his good job.

He is a user - he used you - had you married him it would have been ugly, very, very ugly

he jumped from you to her - GOD'S MAN HE IS NOT - I pity the new wife

Now take out some time to start from square one in your life - start with God - get a relationship with God - A GENUINE RELATIONSHIP

God will give you EVERYTHING - from mate to job to directions to happiness - stop crying and start celebrating

When your louse of a mate calls you AND BELIEVE ME HE WILL CALL BECAUSE SNAKES ALWAYS TRY TO revisit their lairs - PLEASE, I BEG YOU DON'T CONSIDER HIM OR ANSWER HIM

God knows what happened - TRUST ME - Everything the louse touches will shrivel and die - mark my word - blossoms, blessings and flourishings don't occur with bad seed.  Reaping what is sown is the activity for us all.

Make sure you respond by turning God so you can reap a wonderful, wonderful life.

@ Poster

In a nutshell - they don't want to end it with him - THEY WANT HIM AT ANY COST

A woman overlooks (she doesn't overlook----believe me when I say----she knows the fool she is, she just doesn't want to highlight her pathetic self in front of you or relive how pathetic she is "in her mind to herself"-----it is easier for her to focus her energy on the other woman and blame that woman especially when her husband has admitted his deceit to her and lied to her by telling her that "she is all that he wants"

If he was telling the truth - that she is all that he wants - there never would have been another woman. But it took him "cheating" on her for him to "realize his mistake." So he says to her. And because she still wants him she buys into the BS lock, stock and barrel. And runs to his defense.

If the shoe were on the other foot ---- I wonder would he run to her defense against a man she is cheating on him with?

Women are ignorant. We are some of the dumbest lots on the planet. Too many times I have heard that story -- he cheats, wife attacks other woman. I always since I was very little, have wondered the exact same thing. 2 women didn't marry each other. The other woman doesn't owe the wife anything. The husband owes the wife. She should be demanding her pint of blood from him.

@ Poster

You left out quite a few details about the Taurean Female.  My older sister is Taurus and I have studied her for several years:

Extremely Intelligent

Good Grades in School - Very Studious and Dutiful - When young - they make great daughters to their Mothers - if they have brothers, they are very supportive, encouraging and loyal

Once they have a mate - "It's all about the mate and his family"

Dedicated and Loyal to Friends - though in their circles "They have a need to run-the-show amongst their female friends" - but can be quite accommodating - they also can and will retain the same circle of friends for years

Though They are Very Attractive many times they have Low Self-Esteem (though they won't admit it) - Needs constant Affirmations on "if she looks good or not"

Doesn't Forgive Easily but gives the appearance to others that they do

Must be the Center of Attention - they stride to improve themselves over and over again to earn that place

You must do things Her Way or she will tell you to hit the Highway

Loves Family

Naturally Competitive

A large majority of them have a "babyface" - They look younger than their years and they age very well

Sense of humor is fantastic

One of the best dressers in a room

Very Feminine but don't cross them as they can be a very nasty opponent

They don't like abrasive people and will most times soften their words even when angry

Extremely judgmental about others behaviors - not so much about their own

Green thumbs - anything will grown under their fingers

If God is in their life - they allow that relationship to be transformative for them and they work hard to be obedient in all that they do in service to God.

Excellent hostess at events - attention to detail is flawless - great cooks

Ogugua I hear that alot too.

This however is definitely gray shaded - however, NOT married does NOT make a man or woman single.  When I hear single - most people I know see "single" as a category that deems a person is "available to date."

I am unavailable "to date" as I am in a committed relationship.  He is unavailable as well.  We are NOT SINGLE though we have yet to marry.

Jimmy Boy:
I use a 2004 model and love the car so much especially the power, the car hits 100km/hr from zero acceleration  in a matter of seconds and  I enjoy harrassing other cars on the road  with this special take-off power. But recently I pulled-off  my usuall stunt and heard  a strange sound, the next thing  I observed was that  it does not transmit easily anymore.

I gave it to my mechanic(road side) who took it away twice and assured that he as fixed the gear at a cost of N25K, but the car does not exhibit the take-off power anymore, worse still it does not climb above 120km/hr without this strange noise.

Can someone please advise on how to make the car return to normal.

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/On_a_2000_Maxima_what_would_cause_a_loss_of_power_upon_quick_acceleration_at_any_speed_The_rpms_drop_and_it_does_not_shift_into_the_appropriate_gear_when_you_punch_the_gas

Also:
I would check your compression for starters and see if any of your cyl. is having a problem


Also:

This link is to contact professionals in many different fields - automotive mechanics is one - they have Nissan specialists that will assist you via the internet and they are good - this is in the U.S. - you pay a nominal - very small fee - they will answer your question and tell  you what to look for, etc,

https://justanswer.com/

Enjoyment is a peaceful process that is mentally based.

I am enjoying watching him enjoy himself.

It brings back memories of my little girl days here in the States - we too did the same - black, white, green, yellow.

He is focused on himself versus other's opinions - that is courage in itself.

A real man we are watching.  Many of you can learn from him.  Many times after you gain wealth - you mentally reflect back on the wonderful days that you ddn't appreciate at the time in which you received simple pure joys that you miss as well as people that shared it with you.

If there was enough space - I would join him.

Thanks for sharing.

I know that I do recall thinking to myself --- "what is the purpose of taking pictures at a time like this" ---- I do recall wondering to myself, why is this being photographed. If my man had bruised and damaged me in this manner - I would be too embarrassed to photograph such and show anybody.

If this article is true. 

I do sincerely extend a very deep seated apology to Mr. Wigwe and his family for any comments, rash judgments, statements that I have made that were negative in nature directed at him.  It was a shock to view photos of this nature and caught me off guard, and loosened my tongue. I will practice to exercise more restraint before passing judgment without hearing from both sides.

I do apologize and hope that you will find it in your heart somehow to forgive me for anything offensive I might have said and/or suggested. I acted erroneously. I do wish nothing but the best for you and your family.

My prayers are with you and your family members encouraging harmony in this here your time of need.

If this is indeed true of Mrs. Wigwe - I look at you with eyes wide open and know NOT WHAT TO SAY.