₦airaland Forum

Sometimes, is it not better to just be in heaven than come to this earth. Too much travails we face as human.

thesilentman:
For me,the only thing a woman can do that i will never forgive her is to cuckold me or make me raise another man's child thinking it's mine.
Men Lets discuss this so they can know.

There is nothing new under the sun. While I will try and prevent anybody from hurting me.ill choose to walk away.

ibkonekt:
Men are the ones that technically do the selecting in terms of marriage. So if a man is not getting married it is because he chose not to.

Women on the contrary are selected to be married and they accept a proposal from a man after being chosen.

Your question is fundamentally flawed because you are trying to look unbiased but that in itself makes your question take a wrong approach.

Answer to your question. If women do not have a man to marry them
1. What the bible said will come to pass, 7 women will beg a man to marry them in order to hide their shame..i believe this shame will be evidence of their wh0ring around in their youthful age
2. They will commit suicide

You have raised some salient points. This is the biggest dilemma of the female, she has to wait to be asked her hand in marriage while the man chooses or decides when he wants to marry.

Again, I have always thought with Monogamy on the rise. Many more women will be left by themselves. Polygamy was not frowned at until the white man came and told us it was a bad idea.

Haven said that, there is more to life than being married. As life gets harder for men, relationships get tougher for women.

In a society where poverty reigns.

It would seem so that a man is only loved for what he can provide not who he really is.

I thinks it's the curse of being a Man. It all started the day Adam ate from what eve gave him.

Are women valued more for how beautiful they look than the content of their heads?

Is that why on the average most girls would rather be the most beautiful girl in Nigeria than a scholar?

Ybaby:
He said what he said.

Discuss below?

Hmnnn... Interesting. The truth is Life is becoming harder for men. With increased population, scarce resources, growing women in the workforce. It's really tough to keep up with this.

I have a friend who lived in the middle east, she told me women there dont work. They only have children and take care of things in the home. They dont compete with men for jobs and the govt supports the families.

Men if you can, please pay all Bill's. If you cant dont beat yourself down, if you over work yourself, pay all Bill's get stressed and die from overwork. The same wife go move on oo...

OP

Please can you move this to front page.

https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=226349948433811&extid=vQdEZqUXFp7G8cwM

This is some deep covernsation about our history as black men. is this true ?Could there be some truth in this ? COuld this be why we have more single women now than years past or is it just a population boom ? What will happen to all of our forefathers who married multiple women before christinity came to Africa ? Will they all go to hell because of that ? And was the monogamy idea restricted only to priests and pastors ?

It's ok to sleep on the same bed. But trust me every man needs a den, a cave, a place where he can be alone away from wife, children. A place he can be in his thoughts without distraction. But it's not affordable for everyone.

Just a small place, some call it office, no bed In there. My elder has one and I think it's cool. Even women know it's tough keeping up with them sometimes.

zuma4k:
Please fellow nairalanders, I need your opinions on this and if possible front page. It's quite personal and goes like this.
1. Mr Adam (my father) opens a fixed deposit account with X Bank. He subsequently submits his wife's details and makes her a co-signatory to the account with the *express mandate* that upon his demise, his wife exercises automatic access to the account and it's proceeds. Does this amount to a valid contract between him and the bank?.

2. Note that after his death the bank reneged on the primary provision of his directive, stating that a letter of administration must be procured (at an exorbitant cost).
Stated Reasons bothers on the fact that under banking laws and the principles of a valid contract, a contract between a depositor and the bank terminates upon the demise of the individual thus rendering the *mandate* unenforceable and invalid.
Please mods I need this on front page. Thanks.

Oga, I am an ex banker. Dont waste money going to any lawyer, if you know the legal team team these banks have. It's the law. I know its tough, just get the letter of administration. It might take a while, but eventually the bank will grant you the administrators to his estate to all balances in his account.

Dtruthspeaker:
Ah! You will know, they always look married. And any who does not look married, is not married, even though she may be married.

Everything is Spirit including a woman who is truly married!

Word!!!

There is this aura and vibe about married women, you will most likely know. Listen to thier conversation, you can tell. They are often quick to tell they are married.

Don't get it twisted though, if you are dangote son. Don't be surprised if a married woman will take off her ring just to seem available.

Generally just look towards younger women and ask if they married. No be sin. Infact, once I understand a girl has a boyfriend. I don't even bother, I move to the next one. The issue for the girls most time is that they have boyfriends but still entertaining other men, gauging the better offer.

To be sincere with you, I dont think its really really a bad thing. Rather than watch if she is wearing a ring, watch her actions.

Again, let's even think deep and back. At what point did a ring become an evidence of being married. Was this not even a white mans idea that we have incorporated into what the ideal should be. How did our forefathers and fore mothers identify as being married. Did adam give eve a wedding ring ?

Just saying.

#kunuboy#

I sometimes wonder if education to a woman is some sort of insurance policy. After several years in university studying, once they are married to high value man they discard all that years of education and don't practice so much.

Even after their husbands leave office, i doubt if they can work as doctors ever again.

Its just a wild thought sha.

missyojo:
You do the traditional marriage early in the morning like say 7am and fix the white for 10am.

Is there really a need to do traditional and white wedding together ? Is traditional wedding not our own variant of white wedding.

The white man has really bamboozled us o. Stay woke guys.

Is it not funny how some people spend so much on wedding, after wedding they can't even enjoy a week of romantic getaway. Dey there dey fund event planners, instead of enjoying your life.

If you are dangote child, you can do anyhow. Marry for Moon sef. But if you are like most Nigerians, no do pass yourself. Women especially make una dey calm down.

This thread will put Many event planners business @ risk.
Corona has made obvious what really matters.

Guys, focus on the basics. Pay her bride price and receive blessings from both parents. Notify the registry and get your certificate and move on with your life. Go to your pastors office for blessing if need be.

Dont let anyone bamboozle you into spending over and beyond. I remember tiwari savage wedding that year even toke makinwa.... no be by extravagant the wedding be oo.

Felixnyle:
Hello all,I have been a silent follower. I want to apply for a master's programme in finance. I am contemplating using an agent or DIY instead.I need an able guide.

1. Use a reputable and renowned agent. I used BCIE ikeja branch and it worked.

2. Read this thread from 1 till the end. It will help you.

Good luck.

FarmTech:
.
What I mean is this. Men shud be well prepared to meet the financial needs of the family before they marry. They shud not hope on their wife to support them financially. Men are the providers. A woman's financial addition shud be seen as jara.

Well said.

I could be wrong but Sometimes I feel men will continue to struggle financially because

A. As the world population increases and resources thin out, more and more men will struggle to make ends meet for themselves and thier family.

B. More and more women are entering the workforce, sometimes displacing the oppourtnites that could have been open to men and the women turn around to say the men are not financially responsible.People rarely talk about this, but it's TRUE. Many efforts are made to educate the girl child, when I was In university abroad. Many scholarships and Grant's were open to women only.

While we may argue that it's a good thing women are financially stable, the price some of them would have to pay is that they may not be happy maritally and some of them are ok with it.

A friend in Saudi Arabia told me women there dont work, it makes me think if the women there are happier and fulfilled. In fact to take a 2nd wife, the govt. Vets you to qualify to have more than 1. When a man fails in his duty maybe due to death or disability, the state and family takes over. Are women designed to even work?

Also we need to think is Polygamy really as bad as we are told it is. Before christianity came to Africa, men and women were ok with it until the white mans religion told us it was not ok. Let's even reason together, with the current ratio of sexes, will every woman have 1 man to herself. Sticking to this norm will leave some people lonely.

Just thinking out loud. I know some feminists will come for me. Una welcome.

RIP

It appears the Men are disproportionately affected by covid. Maybe women have more resistance to it, or do more men have underlying illnesses.

May God keep us.

TOPCRUISE:
Some Christians oversabi. They say;
Don't date. But you should court
Don't call her your girlfriend, That she is your fiancee
Don't call her baby, That she is a damsel
Don't toast, But you should first ask God for a sign then seek her consent

This is somehow not far from the truth.
By overanalyzing this marriage matter, people have lost good spouses in thier life. Many pastors give say so many conflicting things....

7 things to note before you marry
6 things to ask before you say i do
45 ways to stay married
Marriage 101
Is he Mr. right ?
How to know she is right for you ?

Can we just go back to the way things were?

Do you think education, feminism, liberality has contributed to all these ? I compare with the middle east where there is more arranged marriages and all. but again our economies have benfited from female education.... look at northern nigeria.

Maybe its true what one old man said once, Marriage na like black market. regardless of how careful you want to be, you are still taking a risk as no one knows for sure how it will turn out.

Stephenmoka4:
I do not think dating is wrong, people change the meaning of different things to what fits them or take societal option. I see dating as getting information about the other person in a gradual process. I have never dated but, I feel it concerns the mindset or objectives of the party involved, which leads to other things considered dirty or inappropriate.

I agree to some extent but we must realize that in the bible days there was no dating, even abraham asked his servant to get his son a wife. this is a woman abraham or his son did not know too well. Even many of our parents did not date, it was more like arrnaged marriage and somehow many worked.

I dont think this style of dating has worked for our generation very well. if you ask me, i would prefer to go back to our old ways.

This is another reason why I feel the earlier we seperate from the north the better because our values are so different.

Why not help them be economically stable.

The overpopulation and insecurity in the north Is already too much burden on Nigeria.

fatsonm:
... you can comment without using offensive words na..

I have mailed the office you mentioned...

I belong to some of those groups..

Milton is one of my connections on LinkedIn.

I asked to know if there other possible ways to explore..

Thanks!

Someone is trying to help and u are telling him he is using offensive words. Na wa o....

I didn't see anything offensive, even if he did why not focus on what you want.

We all see why some ppl here try to stay in thier lane and mind thier business. Even here in Melbourne, many nigerians prefer to relate with others than with Nigerians.

Good luck!!!

Hasn't COVID told us that God needs more of him in people than people in church.

My problem with the North is that rather than educate the girl child and provide economic benefits and job opportunities for all. They will rather be bothered about creating a department to cater for widows.

I have always said it, Nigeria may never live up to it's full potential with Northern Nigeria in it, the earlier we divorce the better because our values differ.

Nowadays,

Its easy to stumble on mutiple relationship experts online who give very good advice regarding relationships prior to getting married, however sometimes i feel it might have a negative effect by making you want to be double double sure before getting married therby wastig time and discarding alot of people intrested in you or you are intrested in.

Speaking to an old man lately, he said marriage is like a black market. regardless of the pracautions you take you never know for sure how it will turn out. And so instead of finding perfect one, choose someone who respects you and move on.

Whats your take on young people who are kinda addicted to llsitening to mutiple relatiopship experts/pastors/friends and family ?

hisgrace090:
Most women derive joy from this kind of action.


Mind you her action is not to get the man to marry her but to cause commotion and inflict pain on the man.

This is so true.... I was once with a lady that gave me green light and we had sex. Went about my work and she started threatening to come to my office to disrupt it if I don't give her attention. I be like, damn this was a bad move.

She led me on and i fell for it.

Since then, I fear women.

If you are a young lady, i think this video is worth watching .



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QrpHu_vx4c

Emmanuelosa:
Ok, instead of recommendation, just give me options to choose from,... Based on the environment, how easy it is to get a job, and accommodation,..
Thanks..
Positive response would be greatly appreciated.

For accomodation
The first 10 days, i booked short term stay with the university, during that 10days i now used flatmates.com.au to search for accomdation and they are many there. a flat share apartment is the most suitable for students as its cheaper and might be close to uni.

For Jobs:
@AussieJoan: she has already posted lots of options available. but i must say the covid situation has kinda slowed down jobs here and there. many aussies are out of work and the government is struggling to continue to pay them benefits. If you have enough saved as living expenses for about 6months to 1yr then its ok.