There will always be women waiting in line for a high value man regardless of if he is an abuser.

Same with FFK,

That's why Men please focus on your grind. You never lose out on women, they will always be there.

Sometimes I think we go over and beyond for a wedding ceremony.

Why should one ask for financial assistance to get married. I still believe ppl can marry under a budget

Stop creating enemies because you want to get married. And if the bride is not happy about it, she is free to leave.

Isnt it clear that it's not by how big or small your wedding is? To think that some of the marriage issues we hear in the news had elaborate wedding.

Had anyone noticed that after most wedding, the event planners, photographer, Caterer , event owner are the richer, they keep selling thier services as mandatory. Smh

@op : if u can, give him what you can. If you dont tell him. Life goes on

Until you speak to a barren man/woman will you understand that any gender will do.

Brocode1:
I've noticed a certain trend and I'm in need of explanation. Why do most men these days impregnate women before marrying them? During our days it used to be an abomination but nowadays it seems it's so rampant. I need honest contributions to this thread. Thank you.

The same reason why women demand the man to be working before marrying them.

Nice, though i have some reservations.

Men, this is another evidence that no will is coming to save you. Invest and take care of your old age pls.

Women are often saved by thier children, loved ones, church, community, government.

Its ok to want what you want.

But dont then turn around and complain there are no Men available to marry. Its funny how some ladies shout God when online when all this while, they are the one who dont want some Men.

The day a man understands female psychology, that's the day he knows peace. Nothing wey women do dey surprise me again.

Timekeeper:
I think there is a evil that reside in a lady once she gets married... As in, some married women are so selfish and wicked... S

Let me give these instances;

1. Their own brothers and sisters come to her husband home and there is no issue.. He/she (wife siblings) has unrestricted access to everything in the house since it's her sister's husband house.. But when the husband siblings come, they have restricted access to some things in the house.. Any attempt to go futher, the wife start bringing up attitude towards them..

2. The wife mother comes and she is free to stay as long as she wants but if the husband mother comes, the selfish wife is already asking the husband when will mama leave for her place....

3. The husband sends money to her family, no problem, the husband sends to his family, then there is need for him to be accountable for the money sent to his own parents oooo..

4. Husband sponsors wife siblings to school and all is fine.. Husband sponsors his own siblings and the wife develops hatred automatically towards the sibling bcox she thinks they are draining her husband resources..


Some married women are wicked soul in disguise. Bad enough, you wunt see these attitudes in them until they are married.

I still wonder and ask; why are some married woman so selfish and demonic in nature?

The Truth is that Its very hard to tell who a woman is or will become after marriage. because they have never lived out these cirumstances. This is the risk men take in getting married.

Regardless of how well you know her or how religious she is. Its still a risk

Kobojunkie:
Why? Because shaming your wife and partner, an adult such as yourself, is the way to get communication back on track in a marriage?

I meant telling ppl she respects for advice. When a relationship is under strain there is nothing wrong in seeking counsel.

He mentioned in the post he had exhausted all communication he could.

Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety. Prov 11 :14

I just gave an advice. The Op doesn't have to take it.

To remain Married is looking like a lot of hard work.

Sometimes, I think marriage being a death till you part has made lots of partners both male and female kinda relaxed. I am sure she did not display these before marriage , only to get married and display thier true colors.

@ Op: Do your best and leave the rest ooo. Your mental health is of utmost importance. Find ppl she respects and tell them. If you die today another man fit still marry am.

Getting PR here is becoming more complex than it used to. For professions outside Healthcare, you need some form of doggedness, luck and grace.

A few people have left here for Canada because they cant see themselves going to regional Australia to live for a few years.

However, if you do take the chance. It's worth it depending on what stage in life you are.

Personally,

We all know money does not necessarily buy happiness, but it does make living more easier.

For me I'll measure how happy I am by how much free time I get and still make more than enough money to live out my dream. That is why passive income is such a great thing.

This idea of working oneself till 65, does not sit well with me.

Women only fight over a high value man. I never see where women dey fight over poor man.

All these women should let us rest. All these are distractions from 2023.

Iyaebe:
The wife is looking so good and the man too,he's old and his wife is taking good care of him. Men please be good and kind to your wife if you wish and want to enjoy your old age.

I agree with you, but I'll like to take it even further. Just be good, not because u want your wife to care bn for you. Just be good to everyone.

And please take care of yourself as a man. Try to live healthy, it's A sad thing to see a man dependent on others.

I have said it before. Na Old age we dey know good wife, not by IG picture and slaying.

I wish him and his wife many more healthy years ahead.

This is one of the many reasons why I feel Nigeria should split.

Our values and differences, we prioritize different things. e.g Sharia

Check out all the human index measurements like Child mortality, Unschooled children, Poor healthcare its all concentrated in the north

I have said it before.

Just like Lot in the Bible, Nigeria can never reach its promised land with the North the way it is.

Prosmobi:
Goodevening NairaLanders. Please, which law enforcement agency can i report my uncles to... They have been trespassing on my father's land even when the case is in court.

What I am about to say may sound off.

But please let it go, it's easy to want to fight for your right and this and that. Once families are so engrossed in land and the matter don dey court. It's not worth fighting over. I know it's hard, but that's where Men are found. in hard and tough situations.

I had no inheritance from my dad, today I have assets and have built my mother a house she lives in now.

Nothing is more important than your wellbeing and those your dad left behind.

Let it slide.

TMTR:
I see pre wedding pics being posted everyday on the net, I have attended a couple of weddings , even my elder sister is already married happily with kids but this phobia just won't go away

I don't even know how the phobia all started sef because I remember vividly looking forward to getting married one day when I was still a teenager and I wonder what changed, what happened , I now see people getting married as very brave people because I don't think I can ever try that shit..

Is my phobia for marriage justified, I wonder

I think i share some.of your sentiments. And in these times of high divorce rates, marriage issues and even death. Its easy to want to think twice about getting married. As It does not seem to gurantee peace of mind. I am relatively stable, work and enjoy life. I don't want to loose all of these because of marriage.

In addition to that, being a product of a broken marriage I fear if I will suffer the same fate. None of my family members seem happy in thier marriages.

I tried the convince a lady I liked once to have a child for me. She declined.

I just want peace of mind away from all those things women do.

Maybe its not for me, Maybe it is. God help us.

Sometimes I want to ask women.

Would you rather be intelligent like Okonjo Iweala or beautiful like Kim kardashian.

It appears the later is the easy way.

Make I shake table small.... lol

Questioning Patriarchy...


*SLAVERY OF MEN BY WOMEN*

German writer Esther Villar In her book *"The Manipulated Man"* that caused outrage and hostile criticism from women explains how women since the earliest times have manipulated men and turned them into their slaves, they have pretended to be the oppressed sex while in the real sense they are the oppressors. She explains how a woman manipulates a man skillfully by steps like courtship and finally marriage, hence the saying *"a man chases a woman until SHE catches him".*

In her book she explains how the man is tricked to care for the woman all his life and her offspring. He rolls the stone like Sisyphus and in turn gets rewarded by a few minutes of sexual pleasure. We can, by observing Esther Villars assertions that a man is a slave of his desires and the woman uses and has used it for thousands of years as a stick and carrot to keep the man chasing vanity and commit his life to serving her.

She goes ahead to explain the rivalry of women, how each woman feels the powerful urge and need to own a male for herself. Like a slave owner she detests any move the man would make to offer his services to another woman. She uses all means to keep the man to herself and her offspring alone.

Esther Villar's sentiments are captured by Nigerian Poet, critic and writer, Chinweizu Ibekwe in his book, *"The Anatomy of Female Power"*(AFP) and Will Farrel's, *"The Predatory Female*. They all push the theory that all societies are matriarchal and not patriarchal as we are pushed and forced to believe. Matriarchy has ruled not through brawn but wits and tricks; women feigning weakness to be protected etc. Thus the male becomes the most exploited sex in human history,(in wars the man is always ready to die for the woman; he has been trained to do that).

Chinweizu calls the idea of dating and courtship, training, like that of a horse. It is during this time that a woman having kept the man on a leash by denying him sex and getting him addicted to her by false charms, trains and breaks him to whatever she wants him to become.

The marriage celebration becomes a celebration for the woman and her friends, and they all congratulate her for having succeeded in getting herself a slave. A man on that wedding day waves goodbye to his independence and his coalition of males and commits himself to a Sisyphean life, rolling the stone, an act he cannot abandon having society and the government checking on him and always ready to jail, shame or exile him for absconding his duties.
*Thus the government and society helps the woman in keeping her slave in check.*

Chinweizu gives a narration of how women are trained by older matriarchs to tame men. He explains how a man is trained to rely on women by his own mother. A man is shamed for cooking for himself and other domestic chores by his own mother who is an agent of the global matriarchal rule.

By getting the man to hate domestic works and having it enforced by culture which warns men against going into the kitchen, doing laundry etc., the mother trains his son for the woman who will captivate him and when the time comes she takes hold of the man's stomach and by getting the man addicted to her body she holds him by the two, in bed and in the kitchen. With those two weapons she manipulates the man and turns him into her plaything.

In the *"Myth of the Male Power"*, Esther Villar's *" A Man's Right to the Other Woman"*; *"The Polygamous Sex"*, the authors of those books challenge the narrative that men oppress women, and by detailed research across African,Western and Eastern both in ancient and modern societies, the authors unravel the hidden power of the ruthless matriarchal power that rules the world.

*Presidents, Emperors and Kings are all puppets of the matriarchy forces that rule the World by pulling the strings from behind the curtains.*

*�Man, Take it or Leave it!�*

This is a topic worthy of discuss.

Whichever divide you belong, there is a crisis looming. Many more women are unmarried and the society is acting like it's not a problem.

I think the idea of Polygamy is not so much that man should marry 50 wives, it's so every women has a chance of being a wife and a mother.

Many of the women agaisnt it are so because they fear competition of resources meant for her children will now be shared.

The middle east and thier religion seem to have addressed this but our women want equal rights.

Will women rather be Single forever without a child than be a wife to a good worthy man, have a child or two and do your live your life?

I would love for older women to advice us about this.

Personally, i still prefer monogamy. Let those who have the liver to manage many women do so.

Most Men worry about their wife's Past,

Most women worry about Men's future.

torqque7:
. I hope if it’s a man doing juju to hook a female u will also be fine with that,Just imagine how rotten the society has become to the extent I are even using the Bible to justify wickedness and juju/fetishness..it is VERY WRONG on all levels to take away a persons free will and manipulate and force them to do what u want .

Omo. E shock me. Men need to be more careful o.
I no mind make the world end now. It's only going to get worse.

Baba God. This is the quadrant I want to be. An investor. Nothing, i repeat..Nothing beats passive income.

This work till I retire @ 65 life style don taya me.

Havesomesense:


Would you still love her, when your finances is restored after you have sperated?

The idea of separating was not about love, it was to avoid hating her should I stay and she begins to disrespect me. I don't want to hate her to the point i don't want to see her again.

But this is just hypothetical, I have nEver been in that position and I don't want to be. But if I have no other option, I'll take that.

In the days of our Grandfathers, Man's pride was his ability to cater to his family, provide for them, etc. So men worked their asses off to carry out this role of being the provider. In fact, many Men gave up dreams and ambition for the greater good of all. You would hear stories of men who gave up a chance to school, but rather took on trades( which is not bad in itself ) just to support the family.

I understand during war, women, and children are kinda protected and the men killed. Anywayz.

Now it appears some Men ( I say some because I know not All men) just want to do the bare minimum because they realize most of the benefits of marriage are for women and others to enjoy really. I spoke to a cousin who told me, this idea of working your life off for the benefit of all does not seem to him laudable anymore. Those women ( including his wife ) are now securing the bag, they have jobs, they are independent and making the most of life. He said he also wants to enjoy life, travel, taste different meals to make the most of his life as well. Enjoy the incredible journey of being alive and all invest his old age and his kids. he remains committed to providing for his family, but not to the detriment of this aspect of his life.

SO rather than spend all his income on his kids, wife, and others. he saves on the side strictly for his enjoyment and Investment for himself.
He said society, people, and Life generally can be harsh on Men. How many men really live long enough to enjoy the supposed benefits What guarantees does he have that his kids will cater to him? All the houses in his street are all owned by women will be a blessing to have them remember him, but he is ok with them caring for their mum.

Is this a smart move by him?

or

Is this against the way men are wired?

or

Is he being greedy and thinking of himself alone?

or

Has the increased independence of women bred a group of men who feel it's no more worth it sacrificing everything for the benefit of wife and children ? since women also have money now, they can do just the bare minimum, chill, and enjoy their own journey of being alive.

Rubbiish:

This is just it!
The moment u stop providing as a man that love will automatically fade out! You will just be in that woman's life as a ceremonial husband, but that affection will no longer be there. There is a serious connection between a man's ability to provide & a woman's love. Most family living happily in our society today is because of the man's ability to provide!

Well Said.

And i just want women to know that there is nothing bad in acknowledging this fact. But coming here to say it's not money erks me. with the world resources thinning out, and increase in population. Life is getting harder for men and relationships are tougher for women.

Havesomesense:
It is the duty of a man to provide for the family, women consider financially buoyant men for relationships.

Imagine if you lost your job/business or your income reduced drastically.

Will your wife love you?
Will your wife be jovial with you?
Will your wife give you her palliative as usual?
Will she disrespect you in front of the kids and others?
Will she watch you starve when she has food in the kitchen?
Will she keep reminding you that you are not contributing anything?
Will she start seeking other mens' attention?
Will she Change?

I need honest answers.

Answer to your questions : If you stay Jobless long enough , e go shock you. Only time will tell, the earlier men understand women the better we will live. Most women love Men for what they can provide, it's the way women are wired. It's called Hypergamy.

Women, children and sometimes Animals are the only creatures loved unconditionally, A man is loved based on the condition he provides something.

The ultimate test of a good wife is when you are down and old, when you are of little or no economic benefit to her.

Some Women themselves dont know it.

Let's go to the Animals and learn.

The lioness only mates with the lion who is the head of the pride based on the condition that he provides protection and take down food.

I think its Gods way of natural selection.

God forbid I loose my source of income, just before my wife starts acting up. I'm happy to separate to get myself together.

Decentdave:
The wey all this small small girls eye dey tear is alarming.u will see a 16yr girl doing hook up.parenting a female child this days is difficult ,parent should keep monitoring their female children closely especially their phones and contacts or u dnt give them a phone till a certain age.as for uncle killing her is bad

This is Sad.

Unfortunately, I don't see an end in sight to social issues like these. Mothers who are better positioned to raise children are now working as hard or even harder than men. Even though I think working women is a good thing, but it comes at a cost. Other issues are domestic social abuse, depression and lack of emotion in children.

When mothers were still at home, these issues were not as rampant. A mother would not eve. watch her child been killed.

Abeg, who get Angel Michael number. Tell am to blow trumpet.

Mercychen:
Why are they hiding?
At least, I still hear that of low key wedding with just family members but which one is ""secret" wedding? .

Not even a witness from the family. How will anyone view them as a couple?

What if the man decides to cheat her off a joint assets or property and get rid of proof of ownership, Or even dump her without benefits?
How will she be able to claim it as a legit wife?

Some women need to receive brain in this 21st century. And stop letting their emotions becloud their sense of reasoning.

I also hope it's not a case of stealing someones man or Vice versa? Hm.

You seem concerned about the woman may loose, Is she married for what she will gain or for the love she has for him?

Personally, out of respect for my future partner. Anything she/he has outside and before our marriage belongs to him/her. He or she can will it to his kids/wife/family as he/she pleases.

However, things built while married can be shared.

Last last, Fear women.

Na old age we dey know good wife, no be now.

MIKOLOWISKA:
and you think the rich voters are not swayed by money?
Sigh

You are still learning

Hmnnn.... You are kinda right. Is ot ok then to say we deserve our leaders past and present because we are a people who prioritize money of self than The quality life of all?

My argument was that, Looking at the electoral process in Nigeria. Do you really think the results is a true reflection of the majority ? Even the Available people to vote , do they get the party tickets by merit of performace or by what they stand to benefit for the stakeholders.


Beyond everything, I Just want Nigeria to work.

I have been watching Ogun state from a distance. I must say I don't have much confidence in him. With Oguns proximity to Lagos, you would think ogun should be the next Big thing.

He is one reason why Godfatherism is not so good.

I sometimes think Democracy is not for us, a government system that relys on the votes of its poor citizens will always be swayed by money.

There will always be women.

Bifwoli:
I smell a rotten fish here , the real truth is very very very few(i mean those in the topmost position of the 1% to 5% of top income earners) can earn and save over $100,000 a year. Now for some immigrant to come earn that kind in their 1st three years i smell something rotten.

I was as suprised as you are until I saw his tax return, he earned 129,000 ish. He cares for complex needs patients, those ones that people run away from.