₦airaland Forum

When did humans feel the need to involve governemnt in thier union. Did adam and eve go to a registry, but i get the drift in our times.

Please dont let the government deter you, you can marry traditionally by paying bride price and getting consent of your parents. and chose to inform the resgistry later when they balance well.

AustinT575:
Guys when will Australia open border for international students to fly in

I think its open now, though limited. If you dont mind studying online and completing it here when it opens but again is it worth the money?

pansophist:
I feel you. To be a man and awake (redpilled) is to be in a constant state of rage, all the time. You get pissed off on how common sense becomes so uncommon and the apostles of truth persecuted.

The best is to keep ushering the good news, and he who has ears, let him hear.

Funny enough.Redpill is not about hate or rage..its just about men understanding female.nature... and ultimately choosing to improve himself. Nothing she does catches him off gurad...

Unlike the bad part of feminism that wants to bring down men, redpill just chooses to go a different way and focus on himself. When he however deals with women, he is better prepared for what she is throwing at him.

MadeINchenzen2:
I've heard and observed that most married men complain of this issue, 9 out of 10 men will tell same story of how their wives is no longer desame caring, thoughtful, altruistic, loving, calm, easy-going and peaceful lady she was before marriage.

she is now a nagging, violent, swearing and cursing regret to her husband who now detests staying @ home. He will rather sit @ the bar with friends instead of going home to his wife.

The mere thought of going home after work scares the hell out of him.

I know of a married man with grown kids, he got fed up with the toxic presence and attitude of his wife and pretended he was processing a visa to travel abroad only to change location but was within the country and away from his wife.

He calls her with a foreign number and sends money for their upkeep and needs, he returns home quaterly to see his family as he endures another short stay with his wife and then travels again.

His wife once threatened, asking him not to return but he replied saying his source of income largely depends on his travel.

He revealed, should it not be for his children, he would either abandon his marriage or send her back to her parents.


Now my question is;

Is there a reason or an unexplainable phenomenon that possesses women when they finally move in to cohabit with a man as his wife?


I believe this is the same reason why we have so many single guys out there who may have it all and all it takes to settle down, but due to the fear of the unknown, they have decided to be more meticulous and careful.


Also read;
https://www.nairaland.com/6003143/reasons-why-every-guy-must

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjO-KAsowgI


Maybe this man will provide you some insight.

streetpaddy:
What will you do if you were arrested for several years and you came out and discovered that your girlfriend that claimed to love you, is with another guy and already planning to get married to him??

If you understand female nature, this would not be a question.

Besides she is just a girlfriend, even a wife would move on if you stayed in prison long enough. Its a difficult place to be in, but as soon as you stepped into the prison i will give my consent for her to move on. women are hypergamistic, its nature.

Cheer up, even Man city does not always win. pick yourself back up, improve yourself. dont go back to whatever got you into prison,

there will always be women.

OBAGADAFFI:
Doing wedding with intravenous injection?

That's wrong.

I thought i was the only one who noticed it, the level women go far and beyond harming thier own health just to marry is unthinkable.

Men and women, we must learn to focus on what is important. I dont see why they could not have had a parlour trad wedding with dowry paid and moved on and later go to registry without any pop and peagentry and get your certificate.

Women, Women, Women.... Please make better choices, i know social media and society is putting alot of women under pressure to conform to a certain norm. Dont be swayed by it,

1 yr from now, the hsband would be sseing another woman.

Your health first, other things can follow.

gunners160:
Na thunder go fire u. U had such a loving gf yet you broke her heart. You thought she can't live without you but shame catch u she survived and acted like u never existed. Whoa, Mr Indispensable hope u don win award

Until a man fulfils purpose and financially balanced, he may never be happy. See ehn, women dont love us men as we think they do, they often love a man for what he can provide.

I dont know how good a woman is, is her man is broke enough for a long time she wld begin to think twice. Its thier nature. Hypergamy plays its role...

I think the OP may actually mean well for her cause the most valuable asset for anyone especially women is time not love...

Misplaced priority. One of the poorest states in Nigeria donating 100m to buiding a religious instituiton in the face a COVID induced recession.

The North keeps drawing Nigeria back and may eventually destroy itself if they not careful, this system of the super rich northerns and the many poor under privildeged multitude will catch up with them.

It may sound crazy, but i am begining to feel the ealier ther south & west break off from the North the better. Nigeria may never reach its full potential with the Northern Nigeria existent.

#Kunuboy

Openbusiness3:
I never said a father should put himself first over his family. I can't do that. I won't do it. I put my sons first, I love them too much. Can't count how many times I went to bed hungry and weak just so I can put food in their mouth. Can't count the number of times I would eat once a day just so they can eat anytime they are hungry. I have forfeited things, gotten indebted, begged, crawled, scratched, swallowed ego, done things I never thought I would ever do for anyone just to be a good father to them. So this matter isn't about a father not wanting to sacrifice. This matter is about good fathers getting shut out of their children's lives when the harvest is ripe. It happens a lot, for different reasons too many to start talking about. So the OP is advising fathers to prepare for any eventuality, so they won't sink into depression and die as miserable frustrated sorrowful old men in their last days. That fathers should have a plan for themselves and put a little something away for themselves. Because often that not, as the days go by once the "dynamo of their lives" have been set in motion by good father who spent his best years making it happen, many are just left alone, with that subconscious idea that he is a man na, he can take care of himself. No, men need care too, especially after going through the toughest roughest battles of life to ensure the next generation are better off than where you were, than the best place you ever reached as a man. But many times, it looks like a case of 'use and dump', and sometimes, it is even worse when history is now "re-written" for the children and some good fathers are re-painted as absentees, yet they bore a lot of the dues that was paid. That's why you see many elderly men separating from their wives at old age and marrying younger girls. Many times, it is not about sex or lust. It is about companionship. The "old family" has abandoned him to himself and pushed him away with that "we don't need you anymore attitude". So he gets a younger girl (gold digger or not), that makes him feel special and wanted and gives him the companionship he desires to keep mind, body and soul together

Nothing explains this thread better than this reply.

Guys, don't get the Op wrong. This is not about men who treat their wives wrong, Caring for your parents in old age is an unwritten contract in Africa. Something I even admire, because it comes with its blessings. this also is what makes us different from the west. However, this thread is about men who sacrificed, struggled it out, did all they could while they could so the next generation could be better off only for the kids to be emotionally blackmailed to thinking their dad little or nothing.

I told a friend of mine, A man really knows a wife who loves him when he is weak, feeble, and vulnerable.

Haven said that i dont think men are fighting for resources with the mum, its just sad that men who sacrificed equally like the mums sometimes are not acknowledged for doing so. Making them feel unappreciated. It hurts seeing that you are treated the same way like an irresponsible father who did not cater to his family.

Nonetheless, please this is not a man vs woman thread. it's just a thread waking men up to preparing for their old age, this way nothing catches them off guard.

Someone said earlier, that is why it is good to marry a good woman as she ensures the kids never forget the sacrifices of ther father. the problem is you never really really know who a good woman is, it sometimes feel like black market. you marry with the hope that it ends good , that is why i am more disposed to attending a 20yr, 30yr wedding anniversy that a wedding party. Some of the ones person attend sef don scatter.

Anywayz, Men please dont hate your family o. keep doing your best, love your wife and dont forget yourself.

Openbusiness3:
maybe because you're a woman, you may not relate well with what the OP said. But what he said is quite weighty and true. I'm a father so I know how it is. And I'm also a son, and I know how things are with my old man in his 70s. But it's not a discussion to argue on, else a can drum of worms will be open. May we no shake dis table abeg. Either take what he said or leave it. Good fathers are the unsung heroes in this world, many end up unappreciated or abandoned. If he is rich, then he might not feel it much or opt for a younger wife for companionship to keep him company because he's not getting that from his family again, but if he's poor then he will sink into depression like an old lion with a broken teeth, too old to fight, and just sits there thinking of the painful years when he gave it all for his family and waiting for the day he dies a lonely broken soul. Fathers I salute you

Well said.

I think a man truly knows if is loved by his wife in his old age, a time when he is most vulnerable. Rather than spend unnecessary time with Family and adult kids. She would rather want to spend time with you talking about nothing.

All men won't be wealthy, but all men can plan to live a happier and better life.

If I was a journalist, I would make an interview of old men advising younger men.

Dont get it twisted, I am not saying dont love or provide for your family. I am saying you deserve a little love yourself while you still have life.

This is a conversation every man should have with himself.

Men: while you are doubling your hustle for the benefit of children and wife. Take time to enjoy your life and plan retirement. Don't leave it to chance.

It's a shame some men do not deserve the treatment they get from their family in old age.... but the world is engulfed in female equality. I think as a man I don't make an effort for my wife to prioritize me over the children. Being a good Father is sometimes deemed a thankless Job.

Well,

Of all the children of Osinbajo, Kiki should be careful with social media ooo... It can ruin alot of what her family is working hard for.

Women must understand Men hold the key to relationships while women hold the key to sex.

The biggest dilemma for women is that Men have to ask for their hand in marriage, if they never come they might never be married. This leaves a good number of women frustrated in the marriage market.

Many men are opting for baby mama, because it kinda gurantees no marriage drama. Have u noticed how women change after marriage.

For a Female, baby mama is not good because it does not guarantee security for her and her kids.

In the end, we are all just fighting for our best interest.

On the Flip side, if Men and women embrace polygamy, baby mama will kinda reduce. In the middle east where these things are practiced, I dont think we have so much upsurge in baby mama.

Though this story be as get, e still get as be.

The bottom line is Men, Please. I use God to beg you. Take care of yourself first, u see many men working their asses off for their wife and kids and have nothing plan for old age. Old age is the most lonely time for most men, your wife, children, etc would most likely leave you. not because they hate you, its life.

Look at the Lion kings, at old age they are often sent on exile. While we don't do that as humans there is a little bit of that. Your lovely wife today will be quick to go and spend 6 months in the USA to do omugo today leaving you by yourself. As she dey go, make u sef buy ticket go visit family and friends or watch EPL live every.

While we dont have old people home, why dont families adopt children and sponsor them to school that way they will take better care of the elderly.

Have you thought to yourself, Could those children have left their mother unattended to for so long ? but since na the father, its easy to discard him.

Life is for the living.

OP

How much have you spent on your parents, siblings and relatives ? Na this kind men him loved ones wey raise am go dey suffer but them go ready build house for girlfriend.

Wise up , dont be used.

Men,

You might not be able to stay completely from women, but I can guarantee you, you will enjoy alot of peace of mind without them.

Why don't women who falsely accuse people of rape get prosecuted like rapists?

I still don't get it.

Well, Some can't do without women, but I can guarantee you a lot of men have peace of mind without them.

This is why a friend of mine rarely messes with women if at all he does its a call girl and she is paid off.

You guys should see the movie unbelievable on Netflix, mind-boggling to show the extent women can go just to get attention.

Funkyswagzz:
This morning I was talking about this girl that I met new to my friend.. how nice she was to me and all that so I just decided to call her and check on her. Next thing this girl busy my call. I called her 3 times to confirm if this was a joke and she repeated same thing. I now went to her WhatsApp to drop a msg and she was online. As I was trying to find out what was goin on this girl started insulting me for no reason... idiot, fool, he goat, she goat and what not.

So what caught my attention was when she said she regret not charging me for the sex we had. And when I said u shud have told me u are a hooker this girl started threatening me that she will come to my shop and deal with me and all that. I knew what caused all these things is because she's broke and have absolutely doing. She even lied to her mum shes goin to help her sister at her work place.

Guys I have never insulted this girl for once or declined her request when she asked me for money. As in never in my life seen this kind of attitude. How do i calm her down? Do I ask her to send me her I account number to send her money? I have never seen some broke and idle girl behave in such manner. It was a real shock to me. I know her next move is to go into street runs and I don't want that. Even if we won't date I just wan2 help this girl cos she's truly a nice person.

Guy, Hustle.

Na wetin man dey see when you no prioritize your hustle.

EmekaBlue:
On top 1 MAN head!

1. NEPA don bring bill
2. Buy bread when u are coming
3. Buy Egg when u are coming
4. Gas don finish
5. Kerosine don finish
6a. Generator no gree start
6b. Buy fuel for generator when u are coming
7. Car don get flat tyre, e no gree start
8. School fees don show
9. DStv/GOtv etc don stop to dey show
10. Dem come ask for vigilante money
11. Month don end for Lesson teacher
12. Biscuit and Happy Hour nko?
13. Dem go begin report the children to u as u dey enter
14. If u never build, Landlord matter na madding
15. Dem go still shook hand for ur pocket pack d small change join..
16. Tell u d pikin dey run temperature like say u be doctor...
17a. Buy them credit
17b. Buy them data
18. Not excluding Suya, Cat fish etc on some nights
19. Fridge, pressing iron, fan etc. go stop, another headache..
20. Dem still wan go amusement park o on public holidays
21. How much be the salary sef..

I come go hospital for fever, doctor say I get High BP.
How man no go get High BP..

On top all, you must not disappoint in the inner room..
dem go still give you instruction..
*"HONEY HARDER"*

My brothers in the house, let's take it easy......our lives matters.
With or without us, life will continue.
GOD Bless and be with all Men!

Women only claim carrying a baby( pregnancy) for 9months. Sometimes it's better I carry pregnancy than Face this real-life challenges

it takes a good woman to appreciate the struggles of a Man sometimes, rather than accuse the man of sleeping outside which he might not be doing. Appreciate his effort in caring for the family, even a poor man desires to cater to his own if he has the capacity.

Many young men are begging to see there is no benefit to getting married as they can have kids outside marriage and not be bugged by marital issues.

Haven said that, Men please, i use God beg you. Take care of yourself, your health, and finances, old age is a very scary moment for many men because they are often left to themselves. Plan for your old age,a time when your wife and kids would be away from you. An average okadaman/bricklayer has no retirement package, but he would work his ass off to cater to his family whne he had the strenght.

An average Nigerian grows up thinking his kids would care for him, dont be suprised if life happens and the children are trying to find thier feet, give thier mum some before the crumbs get to the father.

As Men, we cant fight the bond between mother and child but we can make better moves for retirement. so that as wife dey go do omugo for her children, you are buying a ticket to visit UK to visit family and friends and watch EPL.

God bless Men.

#kunu boy

Many many are becoming redpill aware, and please its not a movement against women. It's just a testament that men can do better for themselves and not be simps.

I sometimes wonder if it is and continues to be fun to be a woman because their happiness seems to depend so much on men.

this post even insinuates that women are for the highest bidder. As a man never forget this, a woman does not really really love you, they love what you can provide.

#Kunuboy

22brains:
In our struggle to become successful, we meet so many roadblocks and things that want to stop us from attaining our goals in life. Somehow, when all these problems and roadblocks hit us, we also manage to find a way to defeat the problems and continue with our hustle and life.

The 1 mistake that would destroy your life as a man is getting a girl pregnant when you are still struggling. As a lady, if you get pregnant to a man who is still struggling like you, it is game over for both of you. It's only the grace of God that would see you guys out of that situation.

Some would say it's a lie, how will getting a girl pregnant destroy my life? Well, I will give your couple of reasons why it will destroy your life.

When you are not financially stable and you find yourself in this ugly situation, it makes you lose focus. If you have a dream you want to pursue, it will be difficult for you to continue chasing those dreams. Don't pay attention to the movies that make you believe you can still make it after impregnating a girl. The chances of you making it is slim because the money that was supposed to go into your plans will end up going into what you didn't plan for.


The girl giving birth to the baby will help to increase your chances of not making it. This is because you are no longer taking care of yourself alone but two extra human beings. It gets more frustrating when your monthly income is very poor. You won't be able to save, you will be in debt and regrets will engross your thoughts.

The girl on her own side is not safe as well because all her plans in life are now shattered. She will have to take care of the baby until the child is able to walk and start school. She will not be able to chase her dreams because her baby comes first. The lives of these two individuals who are involved in this situation are already in danger.

I have a brother who got a girl pregnant. I told him that, this action if yours would affect you and the plans you have. He thought I was lying when I said that to him. Today, he is realizing the things I told him.


In conclusion, For you to not destroy your future as a hustling man, don't impregnate a girl. This saying goes to the girls as well, don't get pregnant for any man if you want successfully chase your dreams without having to think that you have a burden to carry. If you must engage in anything intimate with anyone, make sure you are well protected to avoid stories that touches.

Well said Op.

As the world population increases and resources thin out, more and more men will continue to struggle and this is why there seem to be a high number of ladies unmarried because there arent just as many men available.

A man prority has always been to succeed, A woman priority is often to marry and have kids. its a war of both sexes.

If you a Man reading this, the OP has spoken well. Hustle ooooo, if you dont na the same woman you marry go dey point to other men say see your mate. Men dont be women thirsty, there will always be women. dont forget women dont really really love you, they love what you can provide. You think its by chance that Regina marry Ned, imagine if Ned was a poor man, would she even see Ned.

Hustle ooo

igwegeorgiano:
Being in a relationship with a destination on one's mind is a beautiful thing considering the joy of having the right partner in your world to make things happen. Am beginning to have a rethink about my present relationship with the most ungrateful of all ingrates of a lady on the planet earth.

Am presently in a relationship with a lady from the eastern part of Nigeria while I am from the south-south. We met over five months ago and within this short period I have spent well over 7million naira on this lady setting up a boutique biz for her getting her a befitting accommodation tastefully furnished and many more goodies to ensure she is comfortable including a car.

I don't want to bore us with other issues that cropped up which actually prompted me to share my experiences with this ingrate of a woman. I work so smart for my money as a certified mariner and I made my money from every available legit means am very comfortable to a very large extent but true love and affection is missing.

I went into a relationship with the sole aim of settling down with my woman whom I have done so much for. Just last night she called me and requested I assist her with with 500k to take care of some personal issues I agreed to give her the money but unfortunately I was able to raise 250k which I sent to her. Just few minutes ago she called to tell me that am a very stingy man. She told me I can't take care of her needs, yet I want to marry her. My people, am confused right now because I can't imagined myself going into marriage with this lady.

I have decided to relaxed any form of assistance to her henceforth so I can take my time to assess the situation of things in my relationship with her.

Bro, not good enough mehn.

Listen. Never give a girlfriend/fiancee/ engaged partner etc the wife experience. It's understandable if you did this for your wife.

But again, Men and women need to take serious red flags, A woman/man that does not invest in a relationship is not worth your time. A good woman builds up, while a bad one depletes you.

Omo, count your losses and move on. No need crying over spilled milk. Marry her at your own peril.

#Kunu Boy

Abeg,

Is there a secret to successful betting?

A friend told me its about picking maximum of 2 highly predicatbale games and start small. What do u recommend ?

They should not start what they cant finish ooooo.

The reason some men still find them attractive is because its women are deemed to be submissive and feminine. Lets assume there is a winner and she wins millions of dollars, with that kind of money will she want to listen to one man somewhere.

Well, they can do it at their own peril.

As a Guy, I find it hard been just friends with the opposite sex who is single and of marriagble age and that is because its easy to misconstru friendship for been a lover.

As a girl, been desperate is not a good place to be. Marry as early as u can the. Chase the career or business you desire.

Generally, it appears marriage has not worked well for our generation, let's go back to when our parents used to arrange wife and husband for us.

Raeheemwayne:
Yes. I broke my ex’s heart.

I left when she wanted me to stay. I decided to separate even when she wanted Us to be together.

It’s one of the most difficult decisions of my life. I knew I was breaking her heart but I also knew I could never be happy. I don’t regret the decision at all but remembering how much it hurt her makes me feel I really betrayed her trust.

There are certain times and certain relations in life that just aren’t meant to be. She is a gem of a person.

Feel free to share yours.

Yes, I know I broke her heart by refusing to marry her and further my education Abroad. It was hard for me, but not improving myself was not an option. I sometimes pray she finds a good man to marry her so she can be happy.

Its Life mehn, everything does not always go your way. Haven said that i think its healthy for both parties to be no contact, she blocked me on social media and left Facebook. I just blocked her on Facebook, i still wish her well though.

Its a little easy for me cause i never had sex or romance with her, but i feel the most asset of any human is time, she is now 36 and not married and i can only imagine whats going thru her head.

If we are related we meet again.

Dont belive everything online òooooo

People would do anything to trend.

Expect more of these. As the world moves closer to ending, more women will do these kinda things.
Rather than be a help mate to a man struggling, they would rather be an extra tyre to an established man.


Its women like these that take women back 100 yrs while some are trying to be an example.

Was monogamy ever meant for Men? Was it a white mans idea ? Should women begin to accept that they cant have a financially stable man all to themselves? Are side chics uncelebreated 2nd wives ? Do side chics really mean well for men?

I dont understand.

#kunuboy

Guys,

We need to understand female/male nature more.

A man brings leadership, structure, safety, and security, while a woman brings compassion, feelings, and nurturing instinct. Knowing that women generally mature and develop faster than men. It's easy for a woman to question your authority when you are just mates, she will find it hard to submit to such man while the we know there is nothing like a submissive husband.

Though it worked out for a few, like the French president, don't get it twisted. A woman gets her value from her sexual market value, E get why.
Have you wondered why men like Oshimole, okoya, Ned Nwoko went for younger women? Do you think there are no good women of their age mate who will be a better wife?

In a nutshell, women need to look up to you in something, wealth, maturity, fame , something sha. once she is better off than you she sees herself marrying down which is opposite female hypergamy nature. Have a look at the lion pride, the females only mate with the ones they look up to. E get why.

One guy said online, why should i marry her in her decline, while i am in my prime. It's harsh but it's true.

On the flip side, we would continue to see an increase in these as women continue to outnumber men as the world comes to end. Its must be hard to be a woman in this world, Many have even given up on marriage. Its hard for men as well, as the world population increases, so does world resources thin out.

whatever rocks your boat.

#Kunuboy

simplexity:
Firstly I will like to apologize for any errors made while typing, and I am seriously in need of ur advice and criticism.

My name is Stanley(not real names) married for 4years with two Lovely kids both female with d eldest at age 4. Trust me I cherish and love my family. I am a graduate while my wife dropout from the university cause of some money issues her single mother had while she was sick. After our first child I made sure she got admitted to a polytechnic and thankful she just rounded up her N.D all expenses paid by me, with high hopes of Getting admitted for her HND.

The problem started after our first child, my wife attitude towards sex changed totally, she would never let me touch her or play with her, calling her pet names will usually end in quarrel, I spoke with her her severally, pleaded and beg her most times but her attitude never changed, she made me feel like I met nothing to her, yet she will always fight with me whenever ever she suspects I have a girlfriend, fights with any female that comes close to me through calls or chats, she even went as far as beating up a lady that needed my help thinking I was dating her.

Fast forward to recently, her mom who is a single mother relocated to stay with us, and during her stay we had some misunderstanding about money issues, (note both me and wifey are gainfully employed in the ratio of 10:4, but 60% of wifey salary goes to her mom while she spends the rest 40% anyhow she likes) during d money issues a frd of hers came and told both of them that she see saw me flirting with a lady. And without hearing my own side of the coin my mother in-law rained curses on me , reported my to all her family members and left my house angrily, two days later my wife took our children and left my house while I was in d office, I called about her where about and she said she won't tell me and she said I will hear from her family soon, her mom called a family friend saying she will sue me.

It's been one week now and I don't know the whereabouts of my kids.

Should I report to the police or what?
Note I have apologized to wife for the crime I didn't commit yet it seems they want a bigger pound of flesh.

Please kindly advise me caused am depressed and confused

If you are unmarried, please learn.
Too many red flags but you let love blind you.
1. She was a drop put
2. She was raised by a single mum, she would see nothing wrong being one.
3. You let other family members i.e her mum live with you.
4. What is the relationship with her father?

Men please don't ignore these signs.

@Op : Please relax your mind, don't give women power over you. Inform her family and police, and stick to your hustle. She will come around, especially when money is needed for kids upkeep.

You see why some men are reluctant to get married. because all these women look lovey dovey before the marriage. I now understand what Reno omikri was saying, no need waste money on top wedding.

Hmnn...

Despite the prayers of pastors and parents at wedding ceremonies, don't a good number of marriages still fail. if you see as Tiwa savage wedding loud that year.

I always believe spending heaven and earth on a wedding is not a wise investment. When you enter university, do you celebrate Matriculation or convocation/graduation in flying colors?

E get why.